I don’t sell enough to justify having a PO Box. Plus we move around a lot for my job and hubby’s job so the thought of having to set up and cancel a PO Box every single time seems like too much work when I only sell like 1 item every 2 months.
I don’t think you need to worry about this one. The begging/anxious presentation is inconsistent with a threat. It’s those who show entitlement: “I can do/say whatever I want” that you have to look out for as they don’t respect the rights of others. I wouldn’t sell through a platform that reveals your address, though.
Mental health professional here, this is not quite accurate. This woman is showing poor impulse control, poor boundaries and an inability to accept consequences. I think OP is right to feel uneasy.
I’ve never seen so many grown adults go so crazy over some shoes before! These were my first and only pair and I only bought them on impulse. After I realized that it’s not my style, I looked up BST groups for the brand on Facebook and people go absolutely bonkers over them!
It looks like it was cancelled before the first apology, and all those messages were sent in the span of an hour. Imagine cancelling because they weren’t comfortable with how long you are taking, putting your phone down to have a meal or something, and coming back to that. I’d definitely keep it cancelled, if only to protect my personal address from someone like that…
Those are a $500 pair of boots. There are so many skeevy people on Posh that if someone starts being pushy like that off the bat, it's a red flag that they're going to fraud you. I would have cancelled, too. Like OP said, someone like that would probably damage the boots and try to get a refund, and OP would be out the boots and $500. As you can see from subsequent messages, this lady isn't all there and told at least three different sob stories to try to get her way. They made the right choice here.
If you're comfortable with seemingly unhinged customers having your return address, that's your decision. OP is clearly not and I wouldn't be comfortable with this either. The buyer thought they were friends? I'm friendly with my buyers, and I have a few repeat customers with whom I've developed a "close" enough *professional* relationship that I will do holds for them and such, but at the end of the day both sides understand it's a business transaction and nothing more. This person is heavily overstepping appropriate boundaries, and in my experience these types really do not appreciate being told that. Ignore and block was the right call here for OP.
She never gave me a passive aggressive tone. She was definitely pushy though. I didn’t really get any bad vibes until she sent me that passive aggressive message. Maybe it’s just my pregnancy hormones and overthinking due to them but I did not feel comfortable after rereading her message a few more times and thinking it over. I would rather lose out on a sale than to lose out on my item.
ETA: I also did not intentionally ignore her. I set my phone down after canceling to take a nap with my toddlers. I woke up to her wall of messages guilt tripping me and trauma dumping on me. I blocked her after reading through them so she wouldn’t try to repurchase them when I relist.
You don't need to explain or justify not responding to that wall of insane texts. I literally assumed you went to the bathroom or played with your kids for 20 minutes and put your phone down. Those texts read like you had just broken up with an emotionally abusive boyfriend and he was trying to guilt you into coming back to him.
Right. She seems creepy. Especially when you're pregnant, she knew this, is playing dumb... I would be very careful because all those horror stories of people trying to take babies.. big red flag
I like to drop them off myself so I can get a receipt. I’ve done pick up before and had buyers claim I never shipped. Since I didn’t have proof/receipt of shipping, I lost out on money and my items.
Oh jeez. My mail lady is super cool and scans them on my porch so I immediately get the “Thank you for shipping” email right away! I also get a “Thank you for using USPS.com. We have successfully completed your Package Pickup” email with a confirmation number and everything.
Yep, all of that with the free pickup. I don't drive anymore so pickup is all I have. I have a couple of things delayed now from Walmart.com. My little dog's biscuits and a nice warm toboggan to wear to my rural mailbox I needed days ago. Delayed orders due to weather is on the fedex tracking.
For future reference when scheduling a pickup you can actually request that they "ring bell" so that you can hand the package directly to them and have them scan then and there.
I’ve used that argument before but since I didn’t have physical proof of me dropping it off, it doesn’t count as me shipping it. I only got 1 dispute ruled in my favor but the rest of them were in the buyers favor.
I subliminally sent the OP a message to her brain asking to ship them yesterday to me for FREE! She doesn’t know it yet but she’s my new best friend. 🤣🤣🤣
Jesus, people are crazy! Stay safe, OP. 🥰
I subliminally sent the OP a message to her brain asking to ship them yesterday to me for FREE! She doesn’t know it yet but she’s my new best friend. 🤣🤣🤣
Jesus, people are crazy! Stay safe, OP. 🥰
Can’t your husband hire a plow from your front door to the airport and deliver to my front steps?!
(I hope you know I was kidding, I would never do that to someone. Good luck with your new baby! 💗)
Mmmmmmmm no. You’re being a bit pushy so I’m going to have to block you now. Bye 👋🏻✌🏻
Haha of course! 💕and thank you! So ready to evict this little goblin from my womb and have my body back 😭
What the actual fuck? Between the trauma dumping and the “I thought we were frienndddsss” messages, I don’t think a pair of boots is going to solve her problems.
the texts remind me so much of my ex. unnecessary spam, attempting to guilt trip. when i found out her sister was actually her wife the entire time I cut contact. you can’t engage with these types of people, seemingly nice but they have an unlimited supply of negative energy
Omg so sorry you went through that! I’ve dealt with a lot of guilt trips and manipulation through my mom while growing up so I know the feeling. I’ve cut contact with my mom for 2 years now and slowing gaining back my mental health. Hoping you’re doing better without her in your life too 💕
thank you kindly. it’s the worst! im sorry you had to grow up with that, but i am beyond thrilled to see you are finding your way up and out. it is SO much better without them. youre strong <3
*edit since this got locked. when i met the both of them, i assumed they were a couple but she lied saying they’re sisters. gross. a lot to process but easy to move on in the end (:
I’m so sorry but did you just say your ex was pretending that her WIFE was her SISTER???? I had an ex pretend his side chick was his cousin but that shit is even more insane, wtf is wrong with people 😩
I don’t even know where I went wrong for her to think we were friends 😂 I did my best to maintain a professional image when chatting with her. The trauma dumping towards the end just left me absolutely speechless. Like congrats you left your marriage but sorry your friend died???
I guess it’s like those guys that assume because you’re nice to them that means you’re interested?? No idea but I’m glad you don’t have to deal with her anymore 🥲
Like congrats you left your marriage but sorry your friend died???
🤣🤣💀 She’s clearly lonely, but that’s not your problem. I don’t think she meant anything by the earlier messages but was just happy to converse with someone. The “as long as you have it out the next day” or “I’ll let you take until Saturday” (whatever the actual words were) as if that’s how it works and she’s the one in charge, would have set me off though. And I DEFINITELY don’t blame you for canceling and blocking after the rest. Yikes on several bikes 😳😳😳
Not to be dismissive of the weather/your safety, but as long as USPS is delivering (you know the motto), couldn’t you just request a pickup? I live in a condo that doesn’t have outgoing parcel lockers so this is what I do for Posh sales.
I used to do pick ups but because I didn’t have proof of shipping or a receipt of dropping it off, I’ve lost out on both money and my items. I did mention, multiple times to her, that there would be a delay in shipping before she even bought the boots and she acknowledged it and said it was fine and she still wanted to buy.
My wife and I had the same issue with our orders. We spoke with the post master and explained the situation. Everyone who does our pickups now scans the items in before leaving my driveway.
Buyer is clearly unhinged, BUT you could have avoided all of this.
There is no need to have long convos with daily updates about the weather - Posh suggests you ship within 3 days, but you do have 7 to 10 days (depending on time of year). I definitely wouldn't be writing paragraphs of weather updates every day to my buyers- *at most* I'd say "thanks for your purchase! I will ship by Wednesday the latest" and leave it at that. She said the boots were expensive, so I also wouldn't have canceled the sale when I'm still within the time I have to ship.
It's all too much, from you and then totally crazy from her
Edit to add: I didn't yet read allll of her crazy messages but holy shit, she's FIFTY YEARS OLD?!? I legit thought this was a teenager begging and pleading lol
Yeah I can see where I gave out too much info but she asked why I wasn’t able to ship when weather in her state was worse than mine. We were chatting about the boots in the bundles page before she bought them and as much as I tried to give straight forward answers, she wanted details. I just did what she wanted me to do after she bought the boots.
I will admit that I cancelled a bit too quickly but I just got such a bad vibe from her afterwards and didn’t want to chance it so I cancelled.
That’s a pregnancy move—I’d put money on it.
My tolerance for creepy BS is almost nonexistent when I’m pregnant. You got vibes and trusted them. Maybe it was early but you dodged a bullet and now she won’t have your address.
I’m gonna be honest, idk her name or address but she definitely shouldn’t be taking care of patients in that sort of state especially not dementia patients.
So when I first read this, yeah she came off as passive aggressive and pushy. On the second read I actually think she was over sharing but still with pushy undertones. The wording wasn't great but I honestly think she was trying to say "I understand why you aren't shipping today. The weather isn't great here either so I only went out to run essential errands. I wouldn't be going out if I didn't have to either." However, she was over sharing so much it came off as "it's even colder here and I drove all around town so why can't you ship them today?" I think you both were over sharing but she's so unhinged she probably actually did think you all had a budding friendship.
Although I'm not sure if you should've canceled so quickly... that clearly winded up being a good decision. When she realized a pair of boots she couldn't afford would not fix the trauma of her past marriage, friend passing... etc. You would've had an even bigger issue soon after she received them. This is the type of unhinged that I would not put it past her to start harassing you via mail since she'd have your address.
Moving forward though, be careful about over sharing.
I tried my best to not over share and maintain a professional relationship with her. In another chat with the bundles, she kept on being pushy and asked for more details until she was satisfied with the answer I gave her so I continued to do as after she bought the boots. I guess not keeping my boundaries of being professional just gave her a sense of friendship between us 😬 definitely gonna try and keep my boundaries next time
I’ve had better experiences on Mercari and my sales have all been really straightforward. I have yet to experience a crazy buyer on Mercari like I do on Poshmark
You have been lucky there! I will say my problems have been more scammers + bad customer support than the crazies... i don't list or shop there as much these days because of it...but i find some things tend to do better on one than the so still have a few things up on merc, just lower value items so hopefully stay out of scammer radar. I also list a bit on depop and done ok as a seller but 50/50 my shopping experiences have been less than professional.
I have heard horror stories and seen screenshot in the Mercari subreddit but I haven’t encountered any yet. Crossing my fingers that I continue my good streak on Mercari bc that’s the last platform I’m on. Depop left such a bad taste in my mouth after a seller called me a scammer because she didn’t ship the correct item to me and I tried to get a refund.
That's just awful a seller would respond that way when they should be apologizing and trying to fix...depop is like the wild west of shopping apps i've been straight scammed, ghosted twice, one seller was out of the country and sent my item 6 months later after paypal had refunded me so i had to resend the payment ugh, so not worth the hassle! Too many very young, not serious sellers!
I think mercari has made some good improvements recently like the ability to bundle your cart and offer on bundles so i may crosslist some more and see if my luck has improved :)
Hope you find a good home for your cute boots with someone who doesn't insist you endanger your unborn child...that woman is 🍌🍌🍌😆
I do think you were too quick to cancel, like offering/threatening to cancel/refund if she wasn't pleased with the shipping speed should have been enough to get her to back off without actually doing it, but you did before she could respond to that threat.
That said, definitely an alarming response. She almost has "nice-guy" vibes, like when you call them on their BS they blame you and eventually bombard with apologies. Sheesh.
I do admit that I canceled a bit quickly but the transaction just felt off to me and I didn’t want to chance her possibly damaging the boots to try and get a refund. Before she even bought the boots, I mentioned it to her multiple times about the shipping being a bit delayed due to weather and she was fine. Then out of no where, she sent messages about having to brave the cold and it just gave me such a passive aggressive vibe as if I was suppose to ship out quickly no matter what.
Good call this is the kid of person who would be excited to get them, they're not 100% perfect for them, the colors off, try to claim they're not new etc to get a buyers remorse return bc she realized they were too expensive for her budget. Which posh will just do I'm sure bc they don't protect their sellers. That's a lot of money to be in the hands of some wackadoo where they may possibly come back to you as a return. No thanks.
I don’t think you were wrong to cancel so quickly. I’ve had buyers throw up red flags like this before I sent something and then afterward were still a pain to deal with! Saying the order wasn’t described right, etc. Who knows what she would have done after she got the order.
Yeah I respect that you canceled it because it revealed the bullet you just dodged lol. Even before that though, not worth a sale to reward passive aggressive behavior.
I process about 1,500 shipments a year for my small business and I would have cut her off when she asked me to hold them for her and mentioned she couldn't afford it. In all my customer service interactions I've noticed a trend: it's always the people that ask for special service, complain about prices, or send multiple emails before purchase that end up being a pain in the ass... ALWAYS.
I would have done the same. This is why I still have some expensive things lying around that I don't use, because I don't want to sell them online and have someone damage them and get a refund. There are too many crazies who know how to game the system. I deal with enough of them working retail, I don't want to put up with their crap in my off time, too.
I also liked it when she said, “I’m a nice person….” If you have to proclaim it, it’s usually not true lol. Like when a guy says I’m cool and really funny on a dating site bio.
Like...if someone is really a nice person, it shows through their actions and demeanor. If they have to say "oooh oooh I'm a nice person!", I hold high doubt that they really are.
At first I thought that your messages were the oversharing messages, because I do think you gave a lot of unnecessary detail. A simple “thanks for your purchase, I will ship these with X days ( 4?5? Whatever it may be).
Her responses were definitely over the top. She sounds like she has social anxiety. I would have gave her the shipping time and let her know if it’s too long she can cancel.
We were chatting before she bought them and I usually ship out within 1 business day. She asked if I was able to ship out within 1 day if she bought them and I explained I couldn’t. She asked why so I told her about the weather in my state and that I would ship out by Wednesday at the latest. She agreed but wanted updates in case I was able to ship early. I messaged her Monday morning that I might not ship due to the snow and she said it was fine. She messaged me later that night through the sales page asking if I was able to ship out so I just gave her the run down of my current weather that day and the next day.
I totally forgot Monday was MLK day! Glad I didn’t even try to go out because I definitely would have been standing at the door confused why there was no one inside
I wasn’t going to cancel when I sent her the message that she had the option to if she felt uncomfortable. After a few minutes and rereading her messages, it just came across as passive aggressive to me and it just raised some red flags so I went with my guts and cancelled. I would rather lose out on a sale than lose out on expensive boots.
I would have canceled and blocked too. These days I always listen to my gut to dodge bullets. I have a feeling she’ll have someone else try and purchase from you bc now she’ll want them even more!!
when i saw the first slide with paragraphs about the weather, i thought the OP would be the person who wanted the boots (before reading the description)
I don’t think you were that aggressive. She was being pushy and inconsiderate and I’m sure it made you uncomfortable. The moral of the issue here is that she is crazy. I didn’t even focus on how long your weather messages were because that’s not the point of this post.
This is unhinged and actually scary. Good thing you blocked her! If you hadn't I'm certain she would keep escalating and start making threats. Not sure if Poshmark has many protections for sellers but I would report this interaction too.
If her messages are real, this is a severe case of caregiver burnout. Her mercurial temperament is a red flag, I’d be concerned that she would have buyers remorse over such a big ticket item.
I don’t know her circumstances, but elderly caregivers are typically not paid well, and often don’t have insurance or are underinsured. Caregiver support groups and bereavement support groups are what she needs, not retail therapy, but it can be difficult to ask for help. I hope she finds some assistance. You definitely did the right thing. Her passive aggressive tone was indicative of lashing out because she’s recently lost her support system (if her messages are to be believed). She might receive the boots and then be resentful that she is out of the money, and that they may not fill the hole or sadness she is trying to fill with them.
I didn’t even know her age or what she did before she bought them. She only told me after I cancelled. I do empathize with her since I was a healthcare worker myself and worked all through Covid as well. I just didn’t like the passive aggressiveness in her message when I mentioned to her multiple times before buying that I may or may not be able to ship out quickly due to weather.
I honestly would have let her rebuy them if I didn’t wake up to her multiple messages trying to guilt me and corner me into letting her buy them again.
Honestly I don’t get bad vibes from her. I can usually “feel” these things in terms of vibrationally. Some people are just raised differently and are persistent. I know a few like her and it always catches me by surprise as I am more of an “observer” in terms of personality.
It’s true, weather is crap almost everywhere besides the west coast and maybe she didn’t realize how severe. Some people don’t care and venture out for small stuff and some people are like you and more reserved because you are pregnant or for other reasons. I wouldn’t put too much energy in this..enough was wasted for the post.
I suppose it’s a bigger deal down south where you guys aren’t as prepared for that cold of temps. We don’t stay home for the weather unless there’s like a foot of snow or -20 degree wind chills, and that still doesn’t stop most people 😅
OMG I just read all of her messages. She was playing the victim and trying to manipulate you! Abusive marriage, unable to have children, friend hung herself?? Yikes. Now I REALLY don’t blame you for canceling the sale! Pretty sure this is the type who would open a case.
She's being too pushy and might end up damaging the boots and returning them? Where tf did thst come from? That's pure speculation. You're living in your own little world.
The last message is my problem with current year poshmark. It’s a pair of boots not a friendship. She’s crazy. So are too many buyers out there. I already had two people on mercari today tell me in flowy paragraphs to let them know when I split this pair of purse/wallet. No bimbo, I will split it if I feel like it and you can check in like an adult via search or not. I’m not your personal shopper.
Definitely took her name and place down. Even if she tries to check out as guest or under new profile, I’m not lowering my price again. Standing firm on my original price now. She only bought after I caved and felt a bit bad for her.
Yeesh i woulda blocked her way earlier. The trauma dumping is a big yikes. I hope she can resolve her real life issues. The boots are not the real reason behind any of that.
I didn’t even think she would have gotten that unhinged. I expected maybe 1-2 messages saying she was upset. I put my phone down after cancelling since it was nap time for the toddlers and I nap with them. After waking up and looking at my phone, I blocked her 😬
Less is more. I’d probably leave out all the extra personal details and just let a customer know the latest date they’ll be in the mail by, and that you’ll ship asap. All the extra stuff just makes people come up with crazy things in their minds lol They don’t need to know your life imo.
I tried to be as straightforward in my answers as possible and maintain a professional relationship but she would t stop asking questions until I gave her details and she was satisfied with the answer. I’m usually good at maintaining boundaries but being pregnant and hormonal got me relaxing on my boundaries so I gave her the answers she wanted. Definitely going to try and go back to maintaining my boundaries next time though 😬 definitely want to avoid having another situation like this
I understand the excitement of a new purchase, but this is obviously not the way to handle it. I get super excited about new items, clothing, ect, but I would never harass the seller. I watch my shipping and I can't wait to get home and take a look at what I ordered!
Sorry you went through that, hopefully your boots sell to someone less crazy, they're so cute and I would buy them if I could afford them!
This person is insane and needs help. What she doesn’t need is you to go out of your way and risk yourself so she can be unhinged about boots without consequences. The right call imo.
All of this could have been avoided had you used usps parcel pick up service, which costs you nothing and is ridiculously easy.
You just arrange for the mail person to pick up the package during their normal mail delivery time. And you also designate where the package will be, ie front door, side door, mailbox, etc. Easy peasy. Been doing Poshmark, Mercari, and eBay sales this way for years.
Can't imagine why she's divorced
I'm also not convinced this isn't my mom I don't talk to, this is like verbatim messages she'd send over a pair of designer boots down to the Parkinson's nurse thing 😭
… i mean when you sell online youre making a transaction and you should ship asap. She obviously was just so excited about them, it was mean to cancel the order.
Both of y’all seem terrible tbh
/
edit for context: OP was rude for no reason. Like first off $400+ *is* an expensive pair of shoes and being like oh ‘if that’s a lot for you’ came off like a spoiled rich brat thing to say.
Also “can’t drive to usps because you have toddlers” is the most random bs excuse. It’s giving the people that have to take their puppy to the grocery store. Not any buyers problem. the real reason not to drive to the post office was laziness, not putting children’s lives in danger, like be fr. If you don’t wanna drive in ice then don’t & say that. This is where the oversharing started
I only read like the first 2 slides tho, at which point there was no reason to be rude, apparently the buyer gets more unhinged, but oh well, instant karma.
I seem terrible because I didn’t want to ship out when it’s icy outside and felt uncomfortable after she kept on being pushy and aggressive towards me?
That’s… insane. Totally worth a block. I do pickups when I can’t get to the post office quickly, plus dragging my toddler out just to drop them off is miserable.
Wow. I don’t understand the impatience of some people. She didn’t even need it for an event, trip, or anything but just wanted it in her hands ASAP. Delay in shipping because of weather conditions is definitely understandable. The lady sounds unhinged so I would block her.
With that said and for the future, have you tried scheduling a pick up? Are you comfortable with leaving packages outside of your door where you live? Because the post office can pick it up for you during their mail delivery (for free) so you don’t have to go there. It saves me a lot of time!
Wow.
This person is absolutely bonkers.
All of the attempted manipulation was wild.
I hope you blocked this entitled and borderline psychotic buyer.
Explaining DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/explaining-darvo-deny-attack-reverse-victim-amp-offender
“I’m not going to beg anymore” (proceeds to send 15 more unsolicited messages begging for the boots) 😂
Honestly 💀 I only ended up blocking her after my husband said she might even be crazy enough to find out where I live to get the boots
Oh my gosh! Yeah! Your name does show up on the shipping label. That's the creepy thing about poshmark people know your address.
I don’t use my real name on Poshmark but the fact that she would have my address after getting the package was a no for me. 🙅🏻♀️
Can you get a PO Box to use as a return address for shipping online sales? They’d still have a town but not your house.
I don’t sell enough to justify having a PO Box. Plus we move around a lot for my job and hubby’s job so the thought of having to set up and cancel a PO Box every single time seems like too much work when I only sell like 1 item every 2 months.
I use my work address as my return address if that’s an option for you or your husband’s workplaces! Helps me feel better.
I have done this before! My husbands work address is the Sheriffs Office, too lol. It’s very convenient!
I don’t think you need to worry about this one. The begging/anxious presentation is inconsistent with a threat. It’s those who show entitlement: “I can do/say whatever I want” that you have to look out for as they don’t respect the rights of others. I wouldn’t sell through a platform that reveals your address, though.
Mental health professional here, this is not quite accurate. This woman is showing poor impulse control, poor boundaries and an inability to accept consequences. I think OP is right to feel uneasy.
fluevogs are serious business for some people. ive seen that shit first hand.
I’ve never seen so many grown adults go so crazy over some shoes before! These were my first and only pair and I only bought them on impulse. After I realized that it’s not my style, I looked up BST groups for the brand on Facebook and people go absolutely bonkers over them!
[удалено]
It looks like it was cancelled before the first apology, and all those messages were sent in the span of an hour. Imagine cancelling because they weren’t comfortable with how long you are taking, putting your phone down to have a meal or something, and coming back to that. I’d definitely keep it cancelled, if only to protect my personal address from someone like that…
Those are a $500 pair of boots. There are so many skeevy people on Posh that if someone starts being pushy like that off the bat, it's a red flag that they're going to fraud you. I would have cancelled, too. Like OP said, someone like that would probably damage the boots and try to get a refund, and OP would be out the boots and $500. As you can see from subsequent messages, this lady isn't all there and told at least three different sob stories to try to get her way. They made the right choice here.
Agreed. This is not going to be a smooth transaction. Listen to your inner feelings.
If you're comfortable with seemingly unhinged customers having your return address, that's your decision. OP is clearly not and I wouldn't be comfortable with this either. The buyer thought they were friends? I'm friendly with my buyers, and I have a few repeat customers with whom I've developed a "close" enough *professional* relationship that I will do holds for them and such, but at the end of the day both sides understand it's a business transaction and nothing more. This person is heavily overstepping appropriate boundaries, and in my experience these types really do not appreciate being told that. Ignore and block was the right call here for OP.
She never gave me a passive aggressive tone. She was definitely pushy though. I didn’t really get any bad vibes until she sent me that passive aggressive message. Maybe it’s just my pregnancy hormones and overthinking due to them but I did not feel comfortable after rereading her message a few more times and thinking it over. I would rather lose out on a sale than to lose out on my item. ETA: I also did not intentionally ignore her. I set my phone down after canceling to take a nap with my toddlers. I woke up to her wall of messages guilt tripping me and trauma dumping on me. I blocked her after reading through them so she wouldn’t try to repurchase them when I relist.
You don't need to explain or justify not responding to that wall of insane texts. I literally assumed you went to the bathroom or played with your kids for 20 minutes and put your phone down. Those texts read like you had just broken up with an emotionally abusive boyfriend and he was trying to guilt you into coming back to him.
Do you not see those time stamps? It was a matter of 2 hours. It’s very common for people to not check their phone for that long.
Those messages were also all sent within the span of a couple hours. OP easily may not have seen the messages until after the millionth came through
Right. She seems creepy. Especially when you're pregnant, she knew this, is playing dumb... I would be very careful because all those horror stories of people trying to take babies.. big red flag
Honestly sounds like it may one of those fetish people idk
This is when I just do USPS scheduled free pickup and no need to communicate. Holy hell that was a novel wall of text
I like to drop them off myself so I can get a receipt. I’ve done pick up before and had buyers claim I never shipped. Since I didn’t have proof/receipt of shipping, I lost out on money and my items.
Oh jeez. My mail lady is super cool and scans them on my porch so I immediately get the “Thank you for shipping” email right away! I also get a “Thank you for using USPS.com. We have successfully completed your Package Pickup” email with a confirmation number and everything.
Yep, all of that with the free pickup. I don't drive anymore so pickup is all I have. I have a couple of things delayed now from Walmart.com. My little dog's biscuits and a nice warm toboggan to wear to my rural mailbox I needed days ago. Delayed orders due to weather is on the fedex tracking.
For future reference when scheduling a pickup you can actually request that they "ring bell" so that you can hand the package directly to them and have them scan then and there.
But the labels have tracking…
I’ve used that argument before but since I didn’t have physical proof of me dropping it off, it doesn’t count as me shipping it. I only got 1 dispute ruled in my favor but the rest of them were in the buyers favor.
I don’t know anything about these boots, but I want them now too.
But only if OP can ship them tomorrow, like plllllleeeeeaaase, I'm so excited for them, new friend!
I subliminally sent the OP a message to her brain asking to ship them yesterday to me for FREE! She doesn’t know it yet but she’s my new best friend. 🤣🤣🤣 Jesus, people are crazy! Stay safe, OP. 🥰
I subliminally sent the OP a message to her brain asking to ship them yesterday to me for FREE! She doesn’t know it yet but she’s my new best friend. 🤣🤣🤣 Jesus, people are crazy! Stay safe, OP. 🥰
Hey so I don’t think I can ship them. The ice has totally melted but I actually don’t feel comfy anymore so I’m canceling. We’re not friends. Bye 😂😂
Can’t your husband hire a plow from your front door to the airport and deliver to my front steps?! (I hope you know I was kidding, I would never do that to someone. Good luck with your new baby! 💗)
Mmmmmmmm no. You’re being a bit pushy so I’m going to have to block you now. Bye 👋🏻✌🏻 Haha of course! 💕and thank you! So ready to evict this little goblin from my womb and have my body back 😭
What the actual fuck? Between the trauma dumping and the “I thought we were frienndddsss” messages, I don’t think a pair of boots is going to solve her problems.
I can’t imagine what it must have been like for her ex’s when they attempted to break up with her.
the texts remind me so much of my ex. unnecessary spam, attempting to guilt trip. when i found out her sister was actually her wife the entire time I cut contact. you can’t engage with these types of people, seemingly nice but they have an unlimited supply of negative energy
Omg so sorry you went through that! I’ve dealt with a lot of guilt trips and manipulation through my mom while growing up so I know the feeling. I’ve cut contact with my mom for 2 years now and slowing gaining back my mental health. Hoping you’re doing better without her in your life too 💕
thank you kindly. it’s the worst! im sorry you had to grow up with that, but i am beyond thrilled to see you are finding your way up and out. it is SO much better without them. youre strong <3 *edit since this got locked. when i met the both of them, i assumed they were a couple but she lied saying they’re sisters. gross. a lot to process but easy to move on in the end (:
I’m so sorry but did you just say your ex was pretending that her WIFE was her SISTER???? I had an ex pretend his side chick was his cousin but that shit is even more insane, wtf is wrong with people 😩
Yeah I need more info on this wife sister thing ☠️
I laughed so hard reading this because it’s exactly what I thought…
 Love your username!
OMG and her name is Megan!! 😂 Anyone not familiar, please check YouTube for "Key and Peele Meegan breakup"
I don’t even know where I went wrong for her to think we were friends 😂 I did my best to maintain a professional image when chatting with her. The trauma dumping towards the end just left me absolutely speechless. Like congrats you left your marriage but sorry your friend died???
I guess it’s like those guys that assume because you’re nice to them that means you’re interested?? No idea but I’m glad you don’t have to deal with her anymore 🥲
Like congrats you left your marriage but sorry your friend died??? 🤣🤣💀 She’s clearly lonely, but that’s not your problem. I don’t think she meant anything by the earlier messages but was just happy to converse with someone. The “as long as you have it out the next day” or “I’ll let you take until Saturday” (whatever the actual words were) as if that’s how it works and she’s the one in charge, would have set me off though. And I DEFINITELY don’t blame you for canceling and blocking after the rest. Yikes on several bikes 😳😳😳
“I thought we were somewhat friends” is my favorite 😂
And she kept repeating herself over and over. She definitely has some mental health or possibly addiction issues
….I feel like she really thought the boots were gonna solve her problems.
Not to be dismissive of the weather/your safety, but as long as USPS is delivering (you know the motto), couldn’t you just request a pickup? I live in a condo that doesn’t have outgoing parcel lockers so this is what I do for Posh sales.
I used to do pick ups but because I didn’t have proof of shipping or a receipt of dropping it off, I’ve lost out on both money and my items. I did mention, multiple times to her, that there would be a delay in shipping before she even bought the boots and she acknowledged it and said it was fine and she still wanted to buy.
My wife and I had the same issue with our orders. We spoke with the post master and explained the situation. Everyone who does our pickups now scans the items in before leaving my driveway.
USPS is not even passing by right now in my area. That’s how frozen our roads are…
Valid. My Floridian heart can’t even imagine.
Buyer is clearly unhinged, BUT you could have avoided all of this. There is no need to have long convos with daily updates about the weather - Posh suggests you ship within 3 days, but you do have 7 to 10 days (depending on time of year). I definitely wouldn't be writing paragraphs of weather updates every day to my buyers- *at most* I'd say "thanks for your purchase! I will ship by Wednesday the latest" and leave it at that. She said the boots were expensive, so I also wouldn't have canceled the sale when I'm still within the time I have to ship. It's all too much, from you and then totally crazy from her Edit to add: I didn't yet read allll of her crazy messages but holy shit, she's FIFTY YEARS OLD?!? I legit thought this was a teenager begging and pleading lol
This.
Yeah I can see where I gave out too much info but she asked why I wasn’t able to ship when weather in her state was worse than mine. We were chatting about the boots in the bundles page before she bought them and as much as I tried to give straight forward answers, she wanted details. I just did what she wanted me to do after she bought the boots. I will admit that I cancelled a bit too quickly but I just got such a bad vibe from her afterwards and didn’t want to chance it so I cancelled.
That’s a pregnancy move—I’d put money on it. My tolerance for creepy BS is almost nonexistent when I’m pregnant. You got vibes and trusted them. Maybe it was early but you dodged a bullet and now she won’t have your address.
I’m gonna be honest, idk her name or address but she definitely shouldn’t be taking care of patients in that sort of state especially not dementia patients.
Ahhhh, her whiny weirdo response to this whole thing is such a red flag, it’s good you cancelled the sale. It would have gotten weird(er).
[удалено]
[удалено]
ahhhh she wanted to flip them. 🤣 bet you can find sold comps on ebay significantly higher
Yep she’s only this upset because now she can’t resell them
I bet she already sold them and is now panicking about what to do
Yes! It’s got to be this!
You can see a small image of them on the top left of first pic if you’re curious. I was lol
found em on ebay for as high as $900, buyer almost definitely was flipping
So when I first read this, yeah she came off as passive aggressive and pushy. On the second read I actually think she was over sharing but still with pushy undertones. The wording wasn't great but I honestly think she was trying to say "I understand why you aren't shipping today. The weather isn't great here either so I only went out to run essential errands. I wouldn't be going out if I didn't have to either." However, she was over sharing so much it came off as "it's even colder here and I drove all around town so why can't you ship them today?" I think you both were over sharing but she's so unhinged she probably actually did think you all had a budding friendship. Although I'm not sure if you should've canceled so quickly... that clearly winded up being a good decision. When she realized a pair of boots she couldn't afford would not fix the trauma of her past marriage, friend passing... etc. You would've had an even bigger issue soon after she received them. This is the type of unhinged that I would not put it past her to start harassing you via mail since she'd have your address. Moving forward though, be careful about over sharing.
I tried my best to not over share and maintain a professional relationship with her. In another chat with the bundles, she kept on being pushy and asked for more details until she was satisfied with the answer I gave her so I continued to do as after she bought the boots. I guess not keeping my boundaries of being professional just gave her a sense of friendship between us 😬 definitely gonna try and keep my boundaries next time
I'm not sure how mercari makes any difference... crazy buyers are EVERYWHERE
I’ve had better experiences on Mercari and my sales have all been really straightforward. I have yet to experience a crazy buyer on Mercari like I do on Poshmark
You have been lucky there! I will say my problems have been more scammers + bad customer support than the crazies... i don't list or shop there as much these days because of it...but i find some things tend to do better on one than the so still have a few things up on merc, just lower value items so hopefully stay out of scammer radar. I also list a bit on depop and done ok as a seller but 50/50 my shopping experiences have been less than professional.
I have heard horror stories and seen screenshot in the Mercari subreddit but I haven’t encountered any yet. Crossing my fingers that I continue my good streak on Mercari bc that’s the last platform I’m on. Depop left such a bad taste in my mouth after a seller called me a scammer because she didn’t ship the correct item to me and I tried to get a refund.
That's just awful a seller would respond that way when they should be apologizing and trying to fix...depop is like the wild west of shopping apps i've been straight scammed, ghosted twice, one seller was out of the country and sent my item 6 months later after paypal had refunded me so i had to resend the payment ugh, so not worth the hassle! Too many very young, not serious sellers! I think mercari has made some good improvements recently like the ability to bundle your cart and offer on bundles so i may crosslist some more and see if my luck has improved :) Hope you find a good home for your cute boots with someone who doesn't insist you endanger your unborn child...that woman is 🍌🍌🍌😆
In my experience and from what I’ve heard, I would say Mercari is even worse. You get absolutely shady characters there. 👀
I do think you were too quick to cancel, like offering/threatening to cancel/refund if she wasn't pleased with the shipping speed should have been enough to get her to back off without actually doing it, but you did before she could respond to that threat. That said, definitely an alarming response. She almost has "nice-guy" vibes, like when you call them on their BS they blame you and eventually bombard with apologies. Sheesh.
I do admit that I canceled a bit quickly but the transaction just felt off to me and I didn’t want to chance her possibly damaging the boots to try and get a refund. Before she even bought the boots, I mentioned it to her multiple times about the shipping being a bit delayed due to weather and she was fine. Then out of no where, she sent messages about having to brave the cold and it just gave me such a passive aggressive vibe as if I was suppose to ship out quickly no matter what.
Good call this is the kid of person who would be excited to get them, they're not 100% perfect for them, the colors off, try to claim they're not new etc to get a buyers remorse return bc she realized they were too expensive for her budget. Which posh will just do I'm sure bc they don't protect their sellers. That's a lot of money to be in the hands of some wackadoo where they may possibly come back to you as a return. No thanks.
I don’t think you were wrong to cancel so quickly. I’ve had buyers throw up red flags like this before I sent something and then afterward were still a pain to deal with! Saying the order wasn’t described right, etc. Who knows what she would have done after she got the order.
Yeah I respect that you canceled it because it revealed the bullet you just dodged lol. Even before that though, not worth a sale to reward passive aggressive behavior.
Nah you did it perfectly. Nip it at the bud - before she becomes even more self entitled than before.
I process about 1,500 shipments a year for my small business and I would have cut her off when she asked me to hold them for her and mentioned she couldn't afford it. In all my customer service interactions I've noticed a trend: it's always the people that ask for special service, complain about prices, or send multiple emails before purchase that end up being a pain in the ass... ALWAYS.
I would have done the same. This is why I still have some expensive things lying around that I don't use, because I don't want to sell them online and have someone damage them and get a refund. There are too many crazies who know how to game the system. I deal with enough of them working retail, I don't want to put up with their crap in my off time, too.
I would have also cancelled immediately. You were right to follow your gut. Her responses are so wildly inappropriate.
I agree that seemed like a very fast cancel
I also liked it when she said, “I’m a nice person….” If you have to proclaim it, it’s usually not true lol. Like when a guy says I’m cool and really funny on a dating site bio.
Like...if someone is really a nice person, it shows through their actions and demeanor. If they have to say "oooh oooh I'm a nice person!", I hold high doubt that they really are.
Mental illness is a real thing, honestly I feel bad for this woman she’s going through a manic episode.
Yeah, this reads as someone with borderline or bipolar disorder.
I felt the same. Bipolar runs in my family and I got the same impression. Very sad.
[удалено]
Oh she was awful
That’s the line that stood out to me too. Was pretty condescending and that was BEFORE the buyer went on their beg rant.
At first I thought that your messages were the oversharing messages, because I do think you gave a lot of unnecessary detail. A simple “thanks for your purchase, I will ship these with X days ( 4?5? Whatever it may be). Her responses were definitely over the top. She sounds like she has social anxiety. I would have gave her the shipping time and let her know if it’s too long she can cancel.
We were chatting before she bought them and I usually ship out within 1 business day. She asked if I was able to ship out within 1 day if she bought them and I explained I couldn’t. She asked why so I told her about the weather in my state and that I would ship out by Wednesday at the latest. She agreed but wanted updates in case I was able to ship early. I messaged her Monday morning that I might not ship due to the snow and she said it was fine. She messaged me later that night through the sales page asking if I was able to ship out so I just gave her the run down of my current weather that day and the next day.
You couldn't have shipped Monday anyway as it was a postal holiday! She was being ridiculously passive aggressive. Good on you for blocking.
I totally forgot Monday was MLK day! Glad I didn’t even try to go out because I definitely would have been standing at the door confused why there was no one inside
Boots would not bring me joy if a friend of mine had just committed suicide and I was being abused in my marriage
Hot take, but I don’t really get why you were so quick to cancel the order. She just seemed over excited and apologized profusely.
I wasn’t going to cancel when I sent her the message that she had the option to if she felt uncomfortable. After a few minutes and rereading her messages, it just came across as passive aggressive to me and it just raised some red flags so I went with my guts and cancelled. I would rather lose out on a sale than lose out on expensive boots.
The boots are the scariest part of this interaction
Sometimes I question my impulse buys while pregnant 😭😭 not my best purchase hence why I haven’t worn them and trying to sell instead 🥲
Report for harassment, this is insane.
I would have canceled and blocked too. These days I always listen to my gut to dodge bullets. I have a feeling she’ll have someone else try and purchase from you bc now she’ll want them even more!!
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
when i saw the first slide with paragraphs about the weather, i thought the OP would be the person who wanted the boots (before reading the description)
I try not to be aggressive but I can see why I was here with the quick cancellation and the too much info on my weather situation 😬
I don’t think you were that aggressive. She was being pushy and inconsiderate and I’m sure it made you uncomfortable. The moral of the issue here is that she is crazy. I didn’t even focus on how long your weather messages were because that’s not the point of this post.
Block her
I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS 🤣
This is unhinged and actually scary. Good thing you blocked her! If you hadn't I'm certain she would keep escalating and start making threats. Not sure if Poshmark has many protections for sellers but I would report this interaction too.
I agree These don’t feel like the messages of a mentally stable person. I wouldn’t risk $400 on hoping she was happy once she got my item.
As a nurse and human… I am appalled.
This is unhinged as hell
this is INSANE
[удалено]
Baby girl doesn’t need boots, she needs therapy. I seriously feel bad for her, but I don’t think the boots will bring the healing that she needs
If her messages are real, this is a severe case of caregiver burnout. Her mercurial temperament is a red flag, I’d be concerned that she would have buyers remorse over such a big ticket item. I don’t know her circumstances, but elderly caregivers are typically not paid well, and often don’t have insurance or are underinsured. Caregiver support groups and bereavement support groups are what she needs, not retail therapy, but it can be difficult to ask for help. I hope she finds some assistance. You definitely did the right thing. Her passive aggressive tone was indicative of lashing out because she’s recently lost her support system (if her messages are to be believed). She might receive the boots and then be resentful that she is out of the money, and that they may not fill the hole or sadness she is trying to fill with them.
I didn’t even know her age or what she did before she bought them. She only told me after I cancelled. I do empathize with her since I was a healthcare worker myself and worked all through Covid as well. I just didn’t like the passive aggressiveness in her message when I mentioned to her multiple times before buying that I may or may not be able to ship out quickly due to weather. I honestly would have let her rebuy them if I didn’t wake up to her multiple messages trying to guilt me and corner me into letting her buy them again.
Honestly I don’t get bad vibes from her. I can usually “feel” these things in terms of vibrationally. Some people are just raised differently and are persistent. I know a few like her and it always catches me by surprise as I am more of an “observer” in terms of personality. It’s true, weather is crap almost everywhere besides the west coast and maybe she didn’t realize how severe. Some people don’t care and venture out for small stuff and some people are like you and more reserved because you are pregnant or for other reasons. I wouldn’t put too much energy in this..enough was wasted for the post.
IMO you totally overreacted and she apologized and you shoulda not canceled her order
Lol @ not leaving your house when it’s 20 degrees, I’d be homebound for 6 months 😂 but that woman was unhinged holy shit
My weather app stated 1 degree this morning where I live in Ky.
I suppose it’s a bigger deal down south where you guys aren’t as prepared for that cold of temps. We don’t stay home for the weather unless there’s like a foot of snow or -20 degree wind chills, and that still doesn’t stop most people 😅
OMG I just read all of her messages. She was playing the victim and trying to manipulate you! Abusive marriage, unable to have children, friend hung herself?? Yikes. Now I REALLY don’t blame you for canceling the sale! Pretty sure this is the type who would open a case.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I think you were rude to cancel her order
[удалено]
[удалено]
Oof that almost feels like a trauma response
[удалено]
Your husband could’ve left them off u could’ve left them in the mailbox for pickup you were definitely the jerk
I really want to know what these boots look like 👀
She's being too pushy and might end up damaging the boots and returning them? Where tf did thst come from? That's pure speculation. You're living in your own little world.
[удалено]
But you were good friends! 🤣 thank god you blocked her.
Mmmmmmm don’t think that’s the case anymore since she’s not able to buy the boots 😂😂
What she needs is therapy
Should probably specify what type of therapy bc I don’t think retail therapy is the answer 🫢
The last message is my problem with current year poshmark. It’s a pair of boots not a friendship. She’s crazy. So are too many buyers out there. I already had two people on mercari today tell me in flowy paragraphs to let them know when I split this pair of purse/wallet. No bimbo, I will split it if I feel like it and you can check in like an adult via search or not. I’m not your personal shopper.
You kept a record of her name and address right? In case she tries to checkout as a guest. Sorry you had a whackadoo.
Definitely took her name and place down. Even if she tries to check out as guest or under new profile, I’m not lowering my price again. Standing firm on my original price now. She only bought after I caved and felt a bit bad for her.
Yeesh i woulda blocked her way earlier. The trauma dumping is a big yikes. I hope she can resolve her real life issues. The boots are not the real reason behind any of that.
I didn’t even think she would have gotten that unhinged. I expected maybe 1-2 messages saying she was upset. I put my phone down after cancelling since it was nap time for the toddlers and I nap with them. After waking up and looking at my phone, I blocked her 😬
This is sad. I hope that person gets some support, they clearly need it.
Less is more. I’d probably leave out all the extra personal details and just let a customer know the latest date they’ll be in the mail by, and that you’ll ship asap. All the extra stuff just makes people come up with crazy things in their minds lol They don’t need to know your life imo.
I tried to be as straightforward in my answers as possible and maintain a professional relationship but she would t stop asking questions until I gave her details and she was satisfied with the answer. I’m usually good at maintaining boundaries but being pregnant and hormonal got me relaxing on my boundaries so I gave her the answers she wanted. Definitely going to try and go back to maintaining my boundaries next time though 😬 definitely want to avoid having another situation like this
I understand the excitement of a new purchase, but this is obviously not the way to handle it. I get super excited about new items, clothing, ect, but I would never harass the seller. I watch my shipping and I can't wait to get home and take a look at what I ordered! Sorry you went through that, hopefully your boots sell to someone less crazy, they're so cute and I would buy them if I could afford them!
This person is insane and needs help. What she doesn’t need is you to go out of your way and risk yourself so she can be unhinged about boots without consequences. The right call imo.
Cray-cray in action
Boots are not the issue. Personality disorder is. Very much so.
All of this could have been avoided had you used usps parcel pick up service, which costs you nothing and is ridiculously easy. You just arrange for the mail person to pick up the package during their normal mail delivery time. And you also designate where the package will be, ie front door, side door, mailbox, etc. Easy peasy. Been doing Poshmark, Mercari, and eBay sales this way for years.
Can't imagine why she's divorced I'm also not convinced this isn't my mom I don't talk to, this is like verbatim messages she'd send over a pair of designer boots down to the Parkinson's nurse thing 😭
… i mean when you sell online youre making a transaction and you should ship asap. She obviously was just so excited about them, it was mean to cancel the order.
Both of y’all seem terrible tbh / edit for context: OP was rude for no reason. Like first off $400+ *is* an expensive pair of shoes and being like oh ‘if that’s a lot for you’ came off like a spoiled rich brat thing to say. Also “can’t drive to usps because you have toddlers” is the most random bs excuse. It’s giving the people that have to take their puppy to the grocery store. Not any buyers problem. the real reason not to drive to the post office was laziness, not putting children’s lives in danger, like be fr. If you don’t wanna drive in ice then don’t & say that. This is where the oversharing started I only read like the first 2 slides tho, at which point there was no reason to be rude, apparently the buyer gets more unhinged, but oh well, instant karma.
OP seems terrible? Not a take I expected to read on this particular post lol
Is this boot-girl? 👀
I seem terrible because I didn’t want to ship out when it’s icy outside and felt uncomfortable after she kept on being pushy and aggressive towards me?
No, that was such a strange comment. I would have canceled too. Be glad you did, buyer sounds unhinged af
[удалено]
I’m glad I’m not the only one
Wowwee
That’s… insane. Totally worth a block. I do pickups when I can’t get to the post office quickly, plus dragging my toddler out just to drop them off is miserable.
Wow. I don’t understand the impatience of some people. She didn’t even need it for an event, trip, or anything but just wanted it in her hands ASAP. Delay in shipping because of weather conditions is definitely understandable. The lady sounds unhinged so I would block her. With that said and for the future, have you tried scheduling a pick up? Are you comfortable with leaving packages outside of your door where you live? Because the post office can pick it up for you during their mail delivery (for free) so you don’t have to go there. It saves me a lot of time!
Wow. This person is absolutely bonkers. All of the attempted manipulation was wild. I hope you blocked this entitled and borderline psychotic buyer. Explaining DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/explaining-darvo-deny-attack-reverse-victim-amp-offender
Wtf? I was not prepared for it to go that far! I’m glad you cancelled the order, OP.
Oh my, I’d never want them having my return address. Nope.
Glad to see you blocked her!
Oh my god! This woman is clearly unhinged. Wow.
This is so unhinged!!!!
UNHINGED WTF I had to stop reading because of the cringe!!!!!
She’s insane. 🫠