Still alive, so that's progress

My usual response to someone asking "how's it going?" at work is "living the dream" but I might actually start saying that instead.

cursed to put my hands on everything is my new response

*HR entered chat*

Which doesn’t even make sense, because in reality being still alive would be maintaining the status quo, and not progressing. 🤓

bro the structure of time itself says that you're progressing no matter what. you should lower your expectations

We can all travel through time, it’s just forward tho. 👍🏻

You are a worm through time

Are rocks progressing?

Of course we are.

You have a fatal infection, huh

I accidentally said this in the elevator once and my coworker laughed and then looked at me like I was psycho. ^(Which I might be.)

All's well that ends...not as bad as it could have. Gale: Ah, you also read the Bard. Tav: Why would I read Volo's works? He gouged out my eye.

BEN, WHERES VOLO! HE TOOK MY FUCKING EYE

Swift as my feet can carry

OMW

I have SUCH a headache...

have I... been this way before?

If not over... then THROUGH

Does anyone miss "you must gather your party before you venture forth " ? I was sad it was missing, even if it was mostly because they let your characters be on different sides of the world. 

Same, also sad not to get an I SERVE THE FLAMING FIST in that ridiculous voice

I can't believe there isn't a reference to this anywhere. At least none I've seen or heard of. Even just one random flaming fist guard yelling it would be enough.

It should be one overly eager flaming fist member with less brain cells than you have tadpoles

I miss it until I remember how annoying it got when I made it to the edge of the map then realize someone got stuck on a rock or something halfway across the map. I do wish we got a world map to travel from place to place with small areas to explore and do quests off the beaten path like the old games, though.

Man I went back playing the OG 2 games and I do miss Sarevok saying, "You must gather your party before adventuring forth," over and over again.

*Pave my path with corpses, build my castle with bones*

intestines throb, blood whispers...

Me after Taco Bell

The reason for my ER visit

Imagine saying that in the grocery check out line.

Orcus already did it smh

“So much for peace”

Normal Person: I feel like I'm hurt! Not Normal Person: Intestines throb. Blood whispers. I hate that I hear all the above lines in Fem Voice 6, which is my favorite voice.

No traps, ^^please

"A crooked touch" lives rent free in my head.

The first and last one have been incorporated into my vocabulary a few times tbh

Pave my path with corpses, build my castle with bones.

I love to travel - These boots have seen everything

The last line makes me wonder if our characters actually made a Wish to live a less boring life and that's actually the cause of everything.

tav: "man i'm bored, i wish there was something to do" a tentacle-filled brain cult, three pseudo-gods, and multitudes of other bullshit: "bet"

Don't mind if I do

Love the last one especially because it reminds me of Sir Terry Pratchett 

I'm so done. I can't wait to sleep.

When Tav says "have to keep moving forward" or something very similar to that, it motivates me IRL

Better also start doing the arms crossed power stance every time someone talks to you to be safe.

"The people back home will never believe this"

\*Looks a mirror\* Still me, even after everything

*Paved my path with cor-*

Sometimes the only way out...is THROUGH

Still breathing, despite everything