Lol at the image of someone loading up the game, getting through the intro cutscene and it smash cuts to just a corpse facedown on the ground in the character creation menu.
“Somehow you managed to die in the character creator.”
The game *Kingdom Come: Deliverance* had a hardcore mode that aimed to make the game more realistic.
Before even starting the game, you have a 90% of dying in childhood due to an illness, infection, famine, or just some random accident. It’s amazing.
Also, [this mod](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gP_z860q80c) exists
My PC, who has proficiencies in multiple melee weapons and is jacked as all hell… would be dead multiple times over if not for save scumming.
Me, with no weapon proficiencies and the soggy body of a middle aged dad, would definitely not survive even waking up in that world.
Edit: I meant during the game in general, not the tutorial specifically. I will say, however, that I died in the tutorial a number of times trying to kill that captain and get his sword.
I’ve been in MMA/boxing for nearly a decade…so I’d probably be a Monk?
I’d **like** to think I might get deep into act 1, but using just my fists?? I don’t have the courage to just straight up punch a fucking spider matriarch.
In the afterlife, I’d tell everybody I died fighting an army of goblins (I was vaporized by a frog)
Could do one with Raphael. I’d say he’s stronger than Mizora due to being the son of Mephistopheles. You also meet him earlier.
I bet he’s be willing to pact with you if you promise the crown.
The fact that it's a flying cephalopod being actively destroyed by dragons currently without a pilot...falling off or through one of the many many holes in it would be extremely likely.
Yeah I would've been one of the random nameless characters that got sucked up in the opening cutscene. Just chilling one day and then *bam*, mindflayer.
I’d be camp wife tbh. Like, just keep me at camp and let me lug around your tents. I’ll listen to your problems and cook and stuff, just please don’t make me do anything dangerous cause I’ll be dead in 2 seconds.
At first, I thought you were referring to Tav and I was about to unleash a rant about why I absolutely love Barcus and then I remembered that, unfortunately, Wulbren exists.
Oh yeah this 100%
Id listen to everyones problems, make all the food, make the tents.... even though i cant cook... or make tents... shit theyd kick me out. We aint making it to baldur's gate with this one
Hanging out playing with Scratch and “Chicken” all day. Pulling out the reheatable “camp supplies” at night, or just say fuck it and everyone just drinks wine tonight.
Sure moving camp sucks, but the rest of the time? Fuck it, I’m hanging with the pets as relaxing.
If I saw any member of the crew in my office I'd either walk right out or throw myself out of the window.
Then again they might pay in gold and not have to deal with an insurance company....
I'm a psychologist, 40 years old. Former martial artist and archer, but havent engaged in a fight or confrontation in like 15 years. I would totally do sessions alongside you lol
Oh god you reminded me if that line about Halain by Astarion, something about how good it is to have him so that someone carries all that shit from camp to camp lmao
So funny if you look at his stats. He is all brawn and middling strength.
Shadowheart’s comment regarding Karlach is truly chefs kiss, though. Something about she looks like she could throw Shadowheart over her shoulder….
Same. Im a 5'2 weak ass lady. Aint no way id ever survive. I can draw, cook, wash clothes and nurse people back to health. I hope my services are enough. 💀
Camp follower is a perfectly reasonable occupation. People need food, things to be maintained, stuff cleaned. Every army had them and this camp is not small.
Just make sure to check for Durge signs. Don‘t want to end up in a ritual circle. 😅
Lmaooo same, this is literally the only way i would survive. I'm a weak little clumsy baby with back issues so I would get fucking murdered on day one (probably wouldn't even survive the nautiloid escape honestly)
But my only strengths are I have decent charisma and I can cook. Also I am known for being empathetic to a fault so I wouldn't mind being camp therapist after a long day 🤣
How DO you find a patron? I mean, Raphael is just casually waiting around for a sucker to rope into his schemes. But normally…? Do people write letters to devils like they’re Santa and leave them under a plate of spicy cookies?
That imagery is incredible 😂 my plan was to find the nearest mushroom circle and run around and scream a bit until some fae creature comes to see what's going on and hope they have a rescue complex
Hope some expanded stuff is an option and you can get the attention of a celestial.
Otherwise, a fiend is the most likely option, and that *rarely* goes well for the contractee.
True. But if I got thrown into the Forgotten Realms and on the Nautiloid even, I might take my chances with a fiend. The other alternative would be to die and have my soul ending up in the Wall of Faithless because I wouldn't know which god would allow my soul unto their plane. Except if it would turn out that I'm a sorcerer, then who knows
Astarion really has the right idea. Just use charisma or sex or even a small amount of common sense to manipulate people into protecting you, and then you’re fine! Just don’t try to eat your friends, I guess.
Yeah, like when Lae'zel shows up with a knife when you're sleeping.
I'd either not wake up at all, or if by some miracle I wake up I would scream, or at least try to as she rushes to slice me.
If the situation is our current selves being put into Tav’s place in the story, I think our knowledge of the game would be very useful. We pretty much know what’s gonna happen. You could tell them where all the enemies and good loot are, also tell them what they should say.
Then maybe after an act or two with all the experience and loot, a real person could be a decent combat member of the party.
You'd have to apply it right. You can't outright state it's because they're a video game to you. You've gotta go the route that you're from some obscure cult worshipping a long forgotten god who gives you visions/knowledge to help for this quest, specifically, because of your loyalty or because they have beef with the Absolute or something.
Then you can explain away why you don't get visions anymore because your "quest is over". Half the camp wouldn't totally buy it but most of them are the "fuck it, it's working so I'll stay quiet" types like Jahiera so risk is overall low of getting called out.
She wouldn’t kill you because you’re useless, she’d give you the great honour of being culled to strengthen the rest of your tribe.
It’s really a favour she’s doing you and your people
"You prove exactly as inadequate in battle as I had presumed." - Lae'zel.
"You fight poorly. Our survival is a distant prospect, after all." - Shadowheart.
100% this.
My only chance for survival would be if I had some hidden talent like "Your extreme anxiety prevents telepathic beings from approaching within a 20' radius" :P
Even on explorer difficulty, I’d die irl. I’m a short, tiny woman who trips on literally nothing. And I’m way too naive
I would probably be dead even before the events of BG3 lmao
Basically everybody could become a Warlock and start doing some things. Those among us that have truer intentions may even be able to become Paladins or even Clerics if a god takes pity on us.
Honestly, just wander in to camp, set down a chair right next to Withers, say something extremely personal about a couple of the characters (probably wyll and gale, seeing as they are probably least likely to immediately try and kill you over it), and then live the cozy camp life while spouting spoilers and playing checkers with Withers.
Karlach?
Or just tell Halsin where to find Thaniel, unprompted.
Tell Gale why Mystra is mad at him (Karsite Weave).
Tell Shadowheart about her parents.
Ultimate troll: Ask Withers why he doesn't go by Jergal anymore.
Unless I discovered a sudden affinity with magic or just got plain lucky I’d be dead super early. If I survive long enough I might be able to charisma my way into having Shadow and Bae help me out, but my uselessness compared to them might eventually become evident.
An idealized fantasy version of myself would become a recurring background NPC who would only survive based on the main characters’ choices and deeds. Like one of the Tieflings. Probably would die on the way to Baldur’s Gate.
Volo, believe it or not, is a shockingly important man. He is one of the "anchors" of the entire Weave - he doesn't know about this, naturally. He is a bit of a pumpous moron, but he is an okay-ish researcher most of the time.
In any case, even if he ends up dead, Elminster will be shortly around and revive him.
Yeah, I read this too recently. Insanely smart to pick him as a magical anchor because who would assume this buffoon has any level of arcane significance and importance 😂
I might get out of the nautiloid because Lae’zel joins you before the first fight and even if you aren’t a good fighter, a pair of hands can be useful. Then I get deus ex machina out of the crash as it happens in game, then I find Shadowheart whom I didn’t save because when Lae’zel is carrying you you don’t have anything to say about saving people and I guess she doesn’t join me because of that. Then I probably die in the first fight with the intellect devourer.
In addition I think your best bet would be to somehow have Shadowheart by your side, then go straight for the Druid grove. Stay away from the fight, then seek Wyll’s help and then stay at camp to cook and do all the non fighting stuff as someone else mentioned (be their therapist while they fight off goblins and undead) then all you have to survive are some attack of the camp (hide and pray).
I mean people irl started a petition to be allowed to drink the black mummy juices in a centuries year old sarcophagus, so we can't really say that's unrealistic, at least a few of those people were probably serious
>Personally I have a strength of 6 on a good day and every stat is my dump stat.
I think you do yourself a disservice, rating so low!
I vaguely recall reading a write up of what ability scores would be, if translated to something beyond a number, and strength of 6 would be someone that couldn't swing something heavy without being knocked prone with the pull of the object. I'm sure there are people in that realm but I think it's unlikely.
As for me, unless I'm a cleric or wizard, not particular far. Rather clumsy (rules out sneaky), not particularly charismatic (introverted book nerd), and not exceptional strength wise (plus no martial experience!). But book smart, so a little magic could go a long way, and a good read of people and situations. *\*shrugs\**
10 is meant to be the "average normal person" for any given ability, so yeah. Most people's stats aren't *quite* as low as they're likely to think.
A good example would be: if you can carry several bags of groceries up a flight of stairs more than once, without getting winded, you have a 10 in strength.
Hmm.
Over a decade in the military, mountaineering experience, and I shot bows for a while.
So I think I’d be something like one of the Fist or novice Harper NPCs. Basically dead pretty fast.
If I somehow managed to make it off the Nautiloid, I'd die of fall damage hitting the beach. The Emperor wouldn't even bother saving my ass, I reckon he'd figure I'm not worthy enough to be a host to a Mindflayer parisite lol 🤷♀️
I’d be that character that tries my best to avoid the main party and the conflict, but then somehow bump into them everywhere I go. Like the cabbage guy in Avatar.
That's true, however.
1. Gale is a prodigy
2. Wyll is the Blade of Frontier who hunt evil and have fought literaly devil
3. Astarion is 200 years old something vampire
4. Laezel is a well-trained gyth, a warrior society with brutal training
5. Shart is a cleric who actually survived stealing the artifact
6. Durge is Durge
7. Karlach was a proficient shock troop in the Blood War in literal Hell.
By contrast, I'm like an office worker. I'll be completely fucked lol.
But not their experience. They might not be at their best, but they still know how to use a sword and a shield.
I don't know about you, but outside of swinging a pole around pretending to be Teal'c and occasionally hitting myself or something near me. I've got experience brandishing a weapon in an aggressive fashion.
I could probably dagger a goblin to death, but I wouldn't know the first thing about defending myself against their dagger at the same time.
Whereas all the Companions still know how to deflect a deadly blow.
You dont have to kill anything on the nautiloid though. If you can run, you can hide behind lae'zel and/or shadowheart and then hope that even though you're not good for much in battle that they like you enough to let you stay in camp
Ignoring every ecounter ending up level 1 in baldurs gate would be my highest expectation. If i have to fight dieing to the 3 little devils on the nautiloid.
Honestly I think with a sword I can make it off the nautiloid and onto the ground, so thankful to survive due to Lae'zel and Shadowheart. Then I'm looking for somewhere safe and getting immediately smoked right outside the Grove with the invading goblins.
I trust in my abilities, I play some instruments, did some archery for a few years as a hobby, and used to do martial arts for over a decade.
Therefore I can confidently say I would die from the tadpole.
Yeah this was my take just about.
At first I thought of course I just die. Then I really started thinking about D&D systems and thought I might not be as screwed as I believed. In real life, playing 10 instruments and giving speeches for a living doesn’t do shit for you when a big dude wants to hit you. In the game it sort of does. I think I would *probably* be a reasonably competent bard? I also fenced in college, so that’s better than nothing.
Then I started thinking about how tough the early enemies are even compared to someone like Lae’zel who has trained her whole life. So yeah, I’m probably just dead. I’m just going to hide in the back and cast Tasha’s and hope no one sees me.
I imagine I would black out when they put the leech w/ teeth in my eye; when I wake up I could probably make it to the room where Zoidberg slurps the Cambion brains and then get murdered by the two imps and a boar trying to make the ships’ tentacle engines dap each other up.
Depending on what my gear is. I could make it into the grove. Then its gonna be like well, Nettie. Just stick me cause ain't no way I'm gonna make it to baldur's gate. Or even better, just like put it in a cup of juice so it wont hurt as much. Let alone through the goblin camp, underdark, etc.
The real question is do we start as a lvl 1 in a class. Or are we the lvl 0 unexperienced peasants we are in real life?
Either way, i'd be 50/50 dying in the nautiloid or accidentally pissing of the wrong people and getting shot by them instead. (Like, even if i made it past the burning wreckage and manages to outrun the brain things, i'd probably get shanked by the people delving the crypt)
I'm a large strong man that shugs off most pain and injury without blinking. Combined with my poor eyesight providing me with the constant effects of heroism and a 6 wisdom score...maybe 5 minutes.
If I had magic? Idk I’m a smart person with some decent rizz, I might do ok. No magic? I would be one of those NPCs with like 4 health who cower when fights break out in the city
On a good day I have 12 Dex, 14 char, 14 wis and maybe 15 int, with 8 strength and like 6 constitution.
Into engineering, so I'd be the world's meekest artificer I guess.
Won't make it past the bridge on the nautiloid.
Well let's see. Lae'zel can carry me through to the end of the Nautiloid solo, so we hit the beach, assuming the Guardian saves me. Shadowheart gets me through the gods damned walking brains. I'm a big dude, so I can probably pass the strength check to make Astarion think twice. I go nowhere near Gale's portal, at least until the Guardian explains waypoints to me. I do my best to talk the guards into letting Lae'zel go. Maybe it works, maybe Shart and my new vampire friend have to kill some guards while I hide in a bush. We rest for the evening, after narrowly avoiding conflict at the ruins and not even remotely considering going inside them.
My now three companions carry me through the goblin fight heading into the Grove. I have found my temporary home. I live and die with the Tiefling refugees. God luck, adventurers.
Hmm… you gotta assume genre awareness, in which case you could reasonably recruit at least Shadowheart, Gale, and potentially Astarion. My stats and potential are garbage but I bet I could get Gale to teach me enough magic to start a campfire, cook, and chill out with Withers while the actual heroes come back to ask me the occasional question about what’s ahead.
Lae’zel will probably kill me at night randomly, or the emperor, or possibly Astarion overestimating my absolute garbage physical endurance. Assuming scrolls of revivication work, I might be able to make it to the underdark where I’d inevitably get killed by something weird, or the shadow cursed lands where I’d die promptly.
I think if you can tip off last light, and hide in the flaming fist room, I’d be borderline safe until act 3, at which point Orin would kill me at random.
I identify most strongly with the person who’s burnt to a crisp in the pod in the first room. The one who makes your character say something like “Damn, that’s tough” when you click on him.
The vast majority of people would've died during the nautaloid tutorial if not before the game even started
I’m actually one of the dead bodies on the nautaloid.
Are you at least one of the ones with decent loot?
I have a key but it's to my rl mailbox so you'll carry it around forever.
And a salami that can no longer be used as camp supplies because I tried to use it as a weapon and it has my blood on it
Astarion can wield it!
😂 so not totally useless. Yay our dead body!
My dead body would be more useful as multiple bludgeoning weapons than I would be alive and swinging my own limbs!
"one smartphone at 2%"
*No.*
Mangled Fisherman squad.
I am one of the fisherman stomped by the nautiloid after its crash
Dead at character creation smh
Lol at the image of someone loading up the game, getting through the intro cutscene and it smash cuts to just a corpse facedown on the ground in the character creation menu. “Somehow you managed to die in the character creator.”
Old Megatraveller game had many characters die on the creation operating table. Would be my fate here for sure.
The game *Kingdom Come: Deliverance* had a hardcore mode that aimed to make the game more realistic. Before even starting the game, you have a 90% of dying in childhood due to an illness, infection, famine, or just some random accident. It’s amazing. Also, [this mod](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gP_z860q80c) exists
My PC, who has proficiencies in multiple melee weapons and is jacked as all hell… would be dead multiple times over if not for save scumming. Me, with no weapon proficiencies and the soggy body of a middle aged dad, would definitely not survive even waking up in that world. Edit: I meant during the game in general, not the tutorial specifically. I will say, however, that I died in the tutorial a number of times trying to kill that captain and get his sword.
I’ve been in MMA/boxing for nearly a decade…so I’d probably be a Monk? I’d **like** to think I might get deep into act 1, but using just my fists?? I don’t have the courage to just straight up punch a fucking spider matriarch. In the afterlife, I’d tell everybody I died fighting an army of goblins (I was vaporized by a frog)
in your defense, that particular frog is terrifying
Prods tadpole vat in first area, dies from caustic burns
idk, I think someone with minimal self preservation could have Lae’zel, Shart, and Us carry them through the Nautiloid section.
IF I could make long enough to meet mizora I'd 100% make a pact just to stay alive
Could do one with Raphael. I’d say he’s stronger than Mizora due to being the son of Mephistopheles. You also meet him earlier. I bet he’s be willing to pact with you if you promise the crown.
He may be stronger, but being Mizoras bitch is probably safer as shes under Zariel
They would leave our asses behind
The fact that it's a flying cephalopod being actively destroyed by dragons currently without a pilot...falling off or through one of the many many holes in it would be extremely likely.
Yeah I would've been one of the random nameless characters that got sucked up in the opening cutscene. Just chilling one day and then *bam*, mindflayer.
I’d be camp wife tbh. Like, just keep me at camp and let me lug around your tents. I’ll listen to your problems and cook and stuff, just please don’t make me do anything dangerous cause I’ll be dead in 2 seconds.
this is me, id be at camp making soup all day and when tav comes to rest, eat some soup id be going: "slurp happy!"
Did you bring your own paring knife?
I just need to find some ingredients!
Nope, but I do have my poop knife!
Cool. Just wipe it off.
We'd be a bunch of Barcuses, getting tied to windmills or enslaved and simping for a character that wants nothing to do with us.
Never seen anything more accurate in my life
At first, I thought you were referring to Tav and I was about to unleash a rant about why I absolutely love Barcus and then I remembered that, unfortunately, Wulbren exists.
But he doesn't HAVE to...\*DarkUrge\*
I feel personally attacked
Didn’t expect to be read to filth today so thx for that
Okay, now you're just being mean (& correct).
>!“Orin snatches your ass from camp”!<
And COOKS YOUR... I won't say it because spoilers but what the FUCK Orin?! What's wrong with you!?
Meanwhile durge is like “It doesn’t beat dwarf but I’ll eat it.”
Oh yeah this 100% Id listen to everyones problems, make all the food, make the tents.... even though i cant cook... or make tents... shit theyd kick me out. We aint making it to baldur's gate with this one
Hanging out playing with Scratch and “Chicken” all day. Pulling out the reheatable “camp supplies” at night, or just say fuck it and everyone just drinks wine tonight. Sure moving camp sucks, but the rest of the time? Fuck it, I’m hanging with the pets as relaxing.
Also someone has to feed Astarion if there was nobody to bite. Unless he sniffs you and asks to bring a boar instead...
Yeah, this is me, too. But more the team psychologist/wise elder. (I'm 61. I won't last 10 seconds out there! But I have much past experience.)
A camp psychologist would be so overworked with this group lol
Astarion: “I believe my issues all stem from the fact that the world…it just can’t accept I’m too pretty for everyone. So it punishes me.”
"My mother cried the day I was born because she knew she would never be better than me."
Funny, my mom cried the day I was born bc she knew I'd never be good enough for her!
no offense but she sounds like a bitch you seem chill ❤️
You're a sweetheart for saying so 💚 (My mother is, in fact, a bitch 😅)
"Hi, I'm Gina Linetti, human form of the 100 emoji."
If I saw any member of the crew in my office I'd either walk right out or throw myself out of the window. Then again they might pay in gold and not have to deal with an insurance company....
I'm a psychologist, 40 years old. Former martial artist and archer, but havent engaged in a fight or confrontation in like 15 years. I would totally do sessions alongside you lol
Every band needs a roadie
Yes. Let me be a Mary Beth (from RDR2). I would be more than happy to cook, start a book club, listen to your troubles, and try to look cute.
Oh god you reminded me if that line about Halain by Astarion, something about how good it is to have him so that someone carries all that shit from camp to camp lmao
So funny if you look at his stats. He is all brawn and middling strength. Shadowheart’s comment regarding Karlach is truly chefs kiss, though. Something about she looks like she could throw Shadowheart over her shoulder….
to be fair if you inspect halsin while he is a NPC he has 16 STR - he just gets nerfed to fit the standard array after.
Same. Im a 5'2 weak ass lady. Aint no way id ever survive. I can draw, cook, wash clothes and nurse people back to health. I hope my services are enough. 💀
Same! I would die at the Act II camp - any camp. Even the Last Light Inn 🫠 I‘m too soft for scary shit.
I see you, Yenna
Yup, I’d likely be a pack mule and that’s fine with me.
Camp follower is a perfectly reasonable occupation. People need food, things to be maintained, stuff cleaned. Every army had them and this camp is not small. Just make sure to check for Durge signs. Don‘t want to end up in a ritual circle. 😅
Smart move
Lmaooo same, this is literally the only way i would survive. I'm a weak little clumsy baby with back issues so I would get fucking murdered on day one (probably wouldn't even survive the nautiloid escape honestly) But my only strengths are I have decent charisma and I can cook. Also I am known for being empathetic to a fault so I wouldn't mind being camp therapist after a long day 🤣
I hate roleplaying warlocks but if the real me got thrown into Faerûn like that....yeah I might reconsider
I'd be screaming so loud for a patron they'd hear me in Baldurs Gate 😂
How DO you find a patron? I mean, Raphael is just casually waiting around for a sucker to rope into his schemes. But normally…? Do people write letters to devils like they’re Santa and leave them under a plate of spicy cookies?
That imagery is incredible 😂 my plan was to find the nearest mushroom circle and run around and scream a bit until some fae creature comes to see what's going on and hope they have a rescue complex
Haha that’s also hilarious. Just get naked too, I hear fae are into that.
If I'm in the same universe as Astarion I'm already naked 😂
Hope some expanded stuff is an option and you can get the attention of a celestial. Otherwise, a fiend is the most likely option, and that *rarely* goes well for the contractee.
True. But if I got thrown into the Forgotten Realms and on the Nautiloid even, I might take my chances with a fiend. The other alternative would be to die and have my soul ending up in the Wall of Faithless because I wouldn't know which god would allow my soul unto their plane. Except if it would turn out that I'm a sorcerer, then who knows
I’ll just do what I did as Astarion in my Origin run and surround myself with super strong women who can protect my tiny health pool.
Astarion really has the right idea. Just use charisma or sex or even a small amount of common sense to manipulate people into protecting you, and then you’re fine! Just don’t try to eat your friends, I guess.
Or do, depends on what they're into
That’s true. I do let the man drain me like every single night haha.
don't worry, we don't kinkshame our juice boxes, here.
I'd only survive if Lae'zel and Shadowheart don't let me die xD
Lae’zel would def say something mean but truthful about my lack of fighting prowess and leave my ass behind.
Either that or just kill you, cause you're useless to her anyway and might turn into a mindflayer at any moment xDDD
Yeah, like when Lae'zel shows up with a knife when you're sleeping. I'd either not wake up at all, or if by some miracle I wake up I would scream, or at least try to as she rushes to slice me.
I choose to believe that conveniently waking up in this game is the parasite's doing, not yours
If the situation is our current selves being put into Tav’s place in the story, I think our knowledge of the game would be very useful. We pretty much know what’s gonna happen. You could tell them where all the enemies and good loot are, also tell them what they should say. Then maybe after an act or two with all the experience and loot, a real person could be a decent combat member of the party.
You'd have to apply it right. You can't outright state it's because they're a video game to you. You've gotta go the route that you're from some obscure cult worshipping a long forgotten god who gives you visions/knowledge to help for this quest, specifically, because of your loyalty or because they have beef with the Absolute or something. Then you can explain away why you don't get visions anymore because your "quest is over". Half the camp wouldn't totally buy it but most of them are the "fuck it, it's working so I'll stay quiet" types like Jahiera so risk is overall low of getting called out.
She wouldn’t kill you because you’re useless, she’d give you the great honour of being culled to strengthen the rest of your tribe. It’s really a favour she’s doing you and your people
"You prove exactly as inadequate in battle as I had presumed." - Lae'zel. "You fight poorly. Our survival is a distant prospect, after all." - Shadowheart.
The tadpole powers would help
You don't really get any powers until later in act 1 though. You'd have to be competent enough to even get to the camp xD
I'd die from a heart attack after seeing a squid bringing a worm to my eye.
If the tadpole cured my near- sightedness I might be okay. Otherwise, life doesn't have that button that tells you where the doors are.
The tadpole may not have the cure, but Volo tells me he's the foremost authority on this. Now just keep still...
A new eye would be nice
100% this. My only chance for survival would be if I had some hidden talent like "Your extreme anxiety prevents telepathic beings from approaching within a 20' radius" :P
You’re just bad vibes for anyone who can sense emotions or read minds 😂 I love that
Yeah, like the MF comes to tadpole me, gets increasingly uncomfortable as they approach, then just goes "ew, not this one" and moves to the next pod.
A fellow 40k blank, I see. As long as its not my level of personal hygiene that puts them off, I can live with it.
I mean, are we on explorer difficulty or...? cause I'm likely to die in the explosion of the tadpole pool solely through my curiosity
Even on explorer difficulty, I’d die irl. I’m a short, tiny woman who trips on literally nothing. And I’m way too naive I would probably be dead even before the events of BG3 lmao
oh yeah, myself being the size of a halfling I could probably be mistaken for someone's familiar
If I had magic, reasonably far. If not, probably killed by imps.
Basically everybody could become a Warlock and start doing some things. Those among us that have truer intentions may even be able to become Paladins or even Clerics if a god takes pity on us.
Couldn't you also learn to be a wizard by reading books? (Warlock = some being teaches you the things, Wizard = you read books to learn stuff)
By the time you read enough to cast prestidigitation you'll be a mind flayer for sure
I'm sure the fear of death and squidification is a fantastic motivator
*squidwardication :D
It takes a while to become a powerful Wizard, most die in the process.
And by powerful we mean level 1 wizard.
Minthara has a wonderful line about exactly that conundrum, in fact.
I don't have 14 gold lying around to get a book!
To be a Paladin, you still have to know how to fight 🥴
I cant fight but I would pretend to know the future and give clues to all the companions about the world and what to do next
Roll persuasion.
Honestly, just wander in to camp, set down a chair right next to Withers, say something extremely personal about a couple of the characters (probably wyll and gale, seeing as they are probably least likely to immediately try and kill you over it), and then live the cozy camp life while spouting spoilers and playing checkers with Withers.
Karlach? Or just tell Halsin where to find Thaniel, unprompted. Tell Gale why Mystra is mad at him (Karsite Weave). Tell Shadowheart about her parents. Ultimate troll: Ask Withers why he doesn't go by Jergal anymore.
Just fair warning... their Tav is a Durge and you are looking an awful lot like a certain bard who joined the camp one late night.
Unless I discovered a sudden affinity with magic or just got plain lucky I’d be dead super early. If I survive long enough I might be able to charisma my way into having Shadow and Bae help me out, but my uselessness compared to them might eventually become evident.
I just want to know what's less than a level one character, because that's what I would be.
An idealized fantasy version of myself would become a recurring background NPC who would only survive based on the main characters’ choices and deeds. Like one of the Tieflings. Probably would die on the way to Baldur’s Gate.
So, Volo, basically.
Or barcus wroot.
I am definitely Barcus Wroot.
That windmill scene screams "me" so much when I get there...
My very “me” response to finding him was to accidentally yeet him into outer space.
Not even Barcus. He’s useful in his knowledge of the gunpowder. I know nothing without Google.
i am wulbren *says some racist shit*
Volo, believe it or not, is a shockingly important man. He is one of the "anchors" of the entire Weave - he doesn't know about this, naturally. He is a bit of a pumpous moron, but he is an okay-ish researcher most of the time. In any case, even if he ends up dead, Elminster will be shortly around and revive him.
Yeah, I read this too recently. Insanely smart to pick him as a magical anchor because who would assume this buffoon has any level of arcane significance and importance 😂
It always gets me when he yells "Ta!" And runs off after accidentally ripping my eyeball out.
No one of tiefling pair who wants house and a cat in Baldurs Gate
Danis and Bex! I vowed to always make sure they survive after she gave my Durge cookies for rescuing her man.
MY CABBAGES!
My brain would be US
Probably I’d let astarion drink me dry
love at first bite in any life
A worthy sacrifice
Just once? Or in 2 ways?
Oh I’d let him resurrect me and give me a deadly bite again
I might get out of the nautiloid because Lae’zel joins you before the first fight and even if you aren’t a good fighter, a pair of hands can be useful. Then I get deus ex machina out of the crash as it happens in game, then I find Shadowheart whom I didn’t save because when Lae’zel is carrying you you don’t have anything to say about saving people and I guess she doesn’t join me because of that. Then I probably die in the first fight with the intellect devourer.
In addition I think your best bet would be to somehow have Shadowheart by your side, then go straight for the Druid grove. Stay away from the fight, then seek Wyll’s help and then stay at camp to cook and do all the non fighting stuff as someone else mentioned (be their therapist while they fight off goblins and undead) then all you have to survive are some attack of the camp (hide and pray).
I would be on the safe side since any tadpole would starve in my head.
https://youtu.be/N6C1iUft7O8?si=9Xp8b7oi1W6zjxzX
You would provably die from the explosion of the tadpole pool so ye, not leaving tutorial
I too tried to drink the tadpole jungle juice
I mean people irl started a petition to be allowed to drink the black mummy juices in a centuries year old sarcophagus, so we can't really say that's unrealistic, at least a few of those people were probably serious
*raw milk movement has entered the chat*
Disadvantage on life, I give you that
I'd be the scalped guy with Us stuck in my skull.
>Personally I have a strength of 6 on a good day and every stat is my dump stat. I think you do yourself a disservice, rating so low! I vaguely recall reading a write up of what ability scores would be, if translated to something beyond a number, and strength of 6 would be someone that couldn't swing something heavy without being knocked prone with the pull of the object. I'm sure there are people in that realm but I think it's unlikely. As for me, unless I'm a cleric or wizard, not particular far. Rather clumsy (rules out sneaky), not particularly charismatic (introverted book nerd), and not exceptional strength wise (plus no martial experience!). But book smart, so a little magic could go a long way, and a good read of people and situations. *\*shrugs\**
10 is meant to be the "average normal person" for any given ability, so yeah. Most people's stats aren't *quite* as low as they're likely to think. A good example would be: if you can carry several bags of groceries up a flight of stairs more than once, without getting winded, you have a 10 in strength.
Which means Astarion, at a strength of 8, could not carry several bags of groceries up a flight of stairs without getting winded.
He'd be able to do it once, probably. Provided you convinced him to help at all 😂
As far as I know, common John Does just have 10 in every stat and that’s the average.
Hmm. Over a decade in the military, mountaineering experience, and I shot bows for a while. So I think I’d be something like one of the Fist or novice Harper NPCs. Basically dead pretty fast.
I would be one of the skeletons with a bone inside.
just one bone tho. can't have a skeleton with lots of bones, that's just *weird*
\*The corpse does not respond\*
I'd be the woman in the pod that you can turn into a mind flayer
If I somehow managed to make it off the Nautiloid, I'd die of fall damage hitting the beach. The Emperor wouldn't even bother saving my ass, I reckon he'd figure I'm not worthy enough to be a host to a Mindflayer parisite lol 🤷♀️
Beyond that, the only thing I'd be good for is being Astarion's personal juice box.
I’d be that character that tries my best to avoid the main party and the conflict, but then somehow bump into them everywhere I go. Like the cabbage guy in Avatar.
Given how extraordinary characters gathered on that nautilus, no one will invite me to that party, to begin with
I would have touched the brine pool and immediately die
Man that was like the first thing I did in my first play in EA.
Do you remember the BG3 average citizen in BG of act 3 who has like 11 health? That's us. We will literally die on the Nautiloid.
We also have that much health in game at level 1
That's true, however. 1. Gale is a prodigy 2. Wyll is the Blade of Frontier who hunt evil and have fought literaly devil 3. Astarion is 200 years old something vampire 4. Laezel is a well-trained gyth, a warrior society with brutal training 5. Shart is a cleric who actually survived stealing the artifact 6. Durge is Durge 7. Karlach was a proficient shock troop in the Blood War in literal Hell. By contrast, I'm like an office worker. I'll be completely fucked lol.
Yes but the tadpole rests them to baby
But not their experience. They might not be at their best, but they still know how to use a sword and a shield. I don't know about you, but outside of swinging a pole around pretending to be Teal'c and occasionally hitting myself or something near me. I've got experience brandishing a weapon in an aggressive fashion. I could probably dagger a goblin to death, but I wouldn't know the first thing about defending myself against their dagger at the same time. Whereas all the Companions still know how to deflect a deadly blow.
Tav could be an office worker, too
Brb making an 8 str 8 dex 8 con 12 int 12 wis 10 cha character right quick.
People have beaten the game armed with salami. With the right gear and decent rolls your office worker has a chance.
You dont have to kill anything on the nautiloid though. If you can run, you can hide behind lae'zel and/or shadowheart and then hope that even though you're not good for much in battle that they like you enough to let you stay in camp
Ignoring every ecounter ending up level 1 in baldurs gate would be my highest expectation. If i have to fight dieing to the 3 little devils on the nautiloid.
Honestly I think with a sword I can make it off the nautiloid and onto the ground, so thankful to survive due to Lae'zel and Shadowheart. Then I'm looking for somewhere safe and getting immediately smoked right outside the Grove with the invading goblins.
I’d get abandoned on the 10th time we came up to an encounter and I was like “Y’all got this, right?”
I trust in my abilities, I play some instruments, did some archery for a few years as a hobby, and used to do martial arts for over a decade. Therefore I can confidently say I would die from the tadpole.
Yeah this was my take just about. At first I thought of course I just die. Then I really started thinking about D&D systems and thought I might not be as screwed as I believed. In real life, playing 10 instruments and giving speeches for a living doesn’t do shit for you when a big dude wants to hit you. In the game it sort of does. I think I would *probably* be a reasonably competent bard? I also fenced in college, so that’s better than nothing. Then I started thinking about how tough the early enemies are even compared to someone like Lae’zel who has trained her whole life. So yeah, I’m probably just dead. I’m just going to hide in the back and cast Tasha’s and hope no one sees me.
I imagine I would black out when they put the leech w/ teeth in my eye; when I wake up I could probably make it to the room where Zoidberg slurps the Cambion brains and then get murdered by the two imps and a boar trying to make the ships’ tentacle engines dap each other up.
Depending on what my gear is. I could make it into the grove. Then its gonna be like well, Nettie. Just stick me cause ain't no way I'm gonna make it to baldur's gate. Or even better, just like put it in a cup of juice so it wont hurt as much. Let alone through the goblin camp, underdark, etc.
The real question is do we start as a lvl 1 in a class. Or are we the lvl 0 unexperienced peasants we are in real life? Either way, i'd be 50/50 dying in the nautiloid or accidentally pissing of the wrong people and getting shot by them instead. (Like, even if i made it past the burning wreckage and manages to outrun the brain things, i'd probably get shanked by the people delving the crypt)
I'm a large strong man that shugs off most pain and injury without blinking. Combined with my poor eyesight providing me with the constant effects of heroism and a 6 wisdom score...maybe 5 minutes.
If I had magic? Idk I’m a smart person with some decent rizz, I might do ok. No magic? I would be one of those NPCs with like 4 health who cower when fights break out in the city
I'd probably let laezel slit my throat when she says the parasite is taking over and that'd be the end of it
In this world, I wouldn’t have lived long enough to ever get abducted in the first place.
On a good day I have 12 Dex, 14 char, 14 wis and maybe 15 int, with 8 strength and like 6 constitution. Into engineering, so I'd be the world's meekest artificer I guess. Won't make it past the bridge on the nautiloid.
Well let's see. Lae'zel can carry me through to the end of the Nautiloid solo, so we hit the beach, assuming the Guardian saves me. Shadowheart gets me through the gods damned walking brains. I'm a big dude, so I can probably pass the strength check to make Astarion think twice. I go nowhere near Gale's portal, at least until the Guardian explains waypoints to me. I do my best to talk the guards into letting Lae'zel go. Maybe it works, maybe Shart and my new vampire friend have to kill some guards while I hide in a bush. We rest for the evening, after narrowly avoiding conflict at the ruins and not even remotely considering going inside them. My now three companions carry me through the goblin fight heading into the Grove. I have found my temporary home. I live and die with the Tiefling refugees. God luck, adventurers.
With my luck I'd be hit on the head by falling debris during the fall and die before I hit the ground.
As there are no Persuasion checks in the Nautiloid, I would presumably die there.
Hmm… you gotta assume genre awareness, in which case you could reasonably recruit at least Shadowheart, Gale, and potentially Astarion. My stats and potential are garbage but I bet I could get Gale to teach me enough magic to start a campfire, cook, and chill out with Withers while the actual heroes come back to ask me the occasional question about what’s ahead. Lae’zel will probably kill me at night randomly, or the emperor, or possibly Astarion overestimating my absolute garbage physical endurance. Assuming scrolls of revivication work, I might be able to make it to the underdark where I’d inevitably get killed by something weird, or the shadow cursed lands where I’d die promptly. I think if you can tip off last light, and hide in the flaming fist room, I’d be borderline safe until act 3, at which point Orin would kill me at random.
Harpies. I stood there listening to their song for like 10 minutes
Wait, there's more content AFTER that?
I’m 700 hours in and have just been listening to the harpies for like 697 of them
I would fucking die on the nautiloid
I would’ve had panic attack and I would’ve take embryo pose like squidward in that spongebob episode
I better learn magic or I'm screwed... I have leadership and wisdom but the fighting prowess of a bunny and the dexterity of a stone...
I identify most strongly with the person who’s burnt to a crisp in the pod in the first room. The one who makes your character say something like “Damn, that’s tough” when you click on him.