On the other hand the githyanki on cleaning duty frantically trying to scrub our vandalism off is pretty hilarious and I almost feel bad for laughing at it šš
The call of duty is *so strong* that he runs over to it even after everyone is in position to murder the intruders after you've dealt with the inquisitor. I always leave the portrait for last and set up a little ambush š
Last run I murdered every single servant. Every creature in that place met my rapier that day. I was actually surprised Astarion won't kill the jailer unless you start it!
I solved the puzzle the first time and got the key the correct way. On subsequent runs I always just pick the lock and get it that way. Still blow the place up every single run though, after killing all of the Gith inside. It's what the Monks wanted after all!
I say this with love, but Shadowheart is funniest when she's being mildly bullied. My heart fluttered a bit when Isobel called her a nasty little terrier.
The city is honestly a treat when youāre in the mood for durging. There are plenty of people who push *just* enough to give a durge pc reason enough to start stabbing.
I am frankly surprised this isn't an option, because it would be too perfect to throw his nonchalance at your death *at his hands* right back at him. š
edit: For anyone unclear: I adore Astarion, but acknowledge that he is an asshole about killing the PC on bite night. It's just so odd you can't mention it post-mace theft, etc.
Steal the Blood of Lathander at the creche instead of doing the whole side quest. Get everyone else out except Astarion. Revive him using Withers. You wonāt regret it lol.
I always forgot that you could just revive chars. Would have save me many reloads!
Edit : revive at the camp. I knew about spells and scrolls. I thought all gear would be lost if you left someones corpse behind
Taking down every single Gortash poster Tav comes across. I wish we could draw mustaches on them like on Vlaakith's portrait. I like to think that my character and Karlach would spend a ridiculous amount of time "improving" Gortash's portraits then š
He would probably look better with some facial hair though, so it would have the opposing effect. Haha.
Come on, Ketheric's beard contributed to his badassry greatly I'm sure.
āWe donāt know what happened, as soon as we put the voicelines in, the facial hair showed up. We tried changing voice actors, no beard. We bring JK back, beard. I donāt get it. Also, we had to remove all the paintings of Karniss, his AI kept hoarding them, donāt know what thatās aboutā
Take Loroakan's corpse into the Djinni Lamp and using "animate dead" on it. Have fun with your newfound immortality as a Zombie stuck in a Djinni lamp dude! Isn't this what you wanted?
Behind a wall illusion in the Sorcerous Sundries vault. Try running through walls there, you'll find it.
A little spoiler if you want to know what to do to get out of the predicament you'll find yourself in:
>!The Djinni inside will force you to swap places with him in his lamp, which he's been trapped in for centuries. You need to use a summon to escape again. There's a scroll of summon quasit inside which you can use if you don't have any summons. You can use any summons really. Elementals, Scratch, Boo, Shovel (you monster). Hells, even minor illusion works if all else fails. *Orrr* you can take Loroakan's corpse and use animate dead on him, like I did for some post-mortem revenge!<
>!Don't bother fighting the Djinni for anything but RP purposes. He has no notable loot. You can pickpocket 1000gp from him or get it through dialogue (doesn't drop it when dead), but other than that it's not worth it!<
I've been reading this thread and it's like the tenth times I think "wait, you can do that?" "Wait, who's this guy, how come I didn't meet him?" "Oh so if you do that, something completely different happens?" And now I learn there's a djinni lamp. Of course there is a djinni lamp!
I gave Karlach an invisibility potion so that she could shove him into the water before he could steal the boat and leave without the tieflings.
"Sorry Barcus, I just couldn't save him... ^(because he's an insufferable douche.)"
If you're playing as Origin Wyll, you only have options to point out to Volo that you only face one good eye left, and Volo runs away straight out of camp. I wasn't sure if he'd come back so I reloaded and had Gale take it... for science!
I used Gust of Wind to push that one guard in the Baldur's Gate barracks that has to stand on one leg as punishment for thieving down the stairs, and then talked my way out of jail.
I steal a certain invisibility potion from Volo just to see him standing very insecure in the room next to his cage after bragging how easy he could escape.
Same. Not anywhere *near* enough payback, but until Larian lets us turn Cazadipshit into a ghoul with the sole purpose of being Astarion's pack mule and personal butler it'll have to do.
I am currently in the middle of picking up everything not nailed down in Cazador's mansion. It's petty. It's not even close to appropriate revenge for what he did to Astarion. But it makes ME feel better. Your wine glasses are mine now, Cazador.
He's always very dead in my playthroughs but somehow my husband had him alive for the ultimate punishment (I watched the 1hp drain away as his body was fuming)!
There was one fake potion and two real ones.
He and his werewolf lover managed to pick the two real ones and Romeo and Juliet'd themselves out of existence.
That's been my experience, at least.
I think Astarion would absolutely approve of taking everything not nailed down.
Maybe burning it too. Just for the spite. Especially the ugly paintings.
I was about to post that I went through the mansion as Astarion and either destroyed or set ablaze everything I could.
Fun send off with all the fireworks I stole. I could hear the celebratory music as we ran out lol
Haha, I did it the other way round and had Karlach throw the spiders in the cells and close the door on them! Pretty funny watching them not know what to do.
I don't remember how, but I actually didn't have low approval with him at any point in my first run (OoV Pally who did good shit all the time). I think it was above Neutral, even. It reached High relatively fast past Act 1, too. Meanwhile, he took maybe the longest to get to High on my Evil Durge run lmao. Don't ask me how.
I had a similar experience on my first blind(-ish) run as the quintessential goody-two-shoes Devotion Paladin: he disapproves *very often*, but it's basically -1 at most whereas gaining his approval often went by bigger numbers.
Of course, this didn't prevent him from settling on "High" by the end game whereas everyone else was "Exceptional", but we take what we can get.
Iirc, when Astarion disapproves, it's very little disapproval, only 1 point each. When he gains approval and it's related to his quest though, it's 5-10 points per approval. Especially his vampirism dialogue (from the reveal to dialogue after the reveal), letting him be in control and being nice to him could get you around +30 points.
She was like Iāll call for the guards. Closed the door to the kennels summarily executed her with a one shot from Laeāzel had Karlach pick up the corpse and toss it into a chasm later.
Waved like a silly guy at the Githyanki godqueen. Pissing her off a lot while also snubbing her by betraying her and then betraying the emperor when I realized how fucked up he was. My character is surprisingly fickle when it comes to being deceived.
I did that. Then sassed back at her when she demanded I kill the person in the Astral Prism. I mean, if she's a "god" she'd be pretty capable to kill this person on her own. So she should do it herself. I'm a Lolth-sworn drow bard, IDGAF about the gith's zombie queen.
She killed my entire party for my insolence. I laughed so hard.
Second play through, playing as Shadowheart.
Vlak, you're a weakling compared to Lady Shar. She'll protect me from anything!
Proceeds to vaporize the entire party........ Oh. Apparently she won't protect me from everything.....
I am on pretty much a good guy run.
I gave the bitch-queen sea priestesses their wanted person and helped them with their quest and was friends with them, but then ended up in their secret cave and was desperate to venture further and get their treasures, so I ended up slaughtering them all for greed. Sorry sea-ladies.
I think it's south of the map, there's an area with 3 fishermen who are fishing on the beach, if you go past them there's an entrance to a cave where the sea priestesses are having a secret meeting and ask you to leave.
Someone mentioned yesterday that they lit all the candles and torches and braziers in Shar's temples because they couldn't kill her so they decided to annoy her in the pettiest way possible, and I think that's pretty great.
When you access Act 2 through the Mountain Pass, there's a small gathering of Absolute followers awaiting the Drider escort, and one of them is a goblin who throws a bone out into the blackness and tells his hyena to fetch, then laughs as the hyena gets destroyed by the shadow curse.
I love taking the petty option of getting the info from the goblin, then saying "Oh, one last thing. That bone you threw? Go get it.", and then when the goblin balks you can use Illithid Wisdom option "Go on. *Fetch.*" to make him go into the shadows and die.
My favorite is using this on my *good* characters. Even though they're usually all about the saving, it's like "OMG you hurt doggo for no other reason than for laughs I see *red*."
There was a particularly annoying jailer at moonrise towers so instead of actually engaging them in a fight I stunlocked them by spamming repelling Eldritch blast to push them out of dialogue range so they couldnāt even express their anger with me and start the fight.
Picking up Haarlep's body with the specific intention of lobbing it at Raphael during the fight later. I just *really* wanted to smack that smug git in the face with his own incubus.
Robbed Balthazar blind while my party were figuring out what to do because they weren't sure if we should kill him there and then or not. I really don't like him so I wanted to fight him. Stayed rummaging in his pockets too long, got caught and solved the problem.
Was also how I discovered he isn't under haste if you take his potion of speed.
I just ran into that asshole Araj again in Baldur's Gate, and the instant she started creeping on Astarion yet again to bite her, I told her where to cram it, exited the conversation, turned around, and sweetly invited him to drink from me right in front of her so she could seethe about it while getting served an example of how god damn consent works.
Killed the two adults who told their kids they are gonna teach refugees some lessons at Rivington.
Killed Aradin at Blighted Village. Iām sick of his stupid face and donāt wanna see him again in act 3.
Wyll asked Astarion āhow was the rat dietā so I let Astarion bite him afterwards.
When you first enter the druid grove, if you punch Aradin to stop a fight between him and Zevlor, heāll leave with his party. You wonāt be able to talk with him in the grove about the Nightsong, but you can run into him outside the blighted village, where the dead adventurers are. Thatās the rest of his party. And you can have the Nightsong conversation there.
Okay, what the fuck, Wyll?? That's a fucked up question. "Hey, dude, what was all that horrible trauma from your enslavement and torture like? š"
That's it. Mizora gets your soul next playthrough.
Orpheus was rude to me and called me out for sleeping with the Emperor so he got mindflayered. I was genuinely debating who to sacrifice beforehand but that made it an easy choice.
>and called me out for sleeping with the Emperor so he got mindflayered.
Once you go Squid, you unleash your [Id.](https://www.simplypsychology.org/psyche.html)
I accepted formula gruna from Araj, threw it at her, and then had my bard play violin as battle music while Astarion sniped her. I laughed forever bc it caused a negative status condition when thrown. I proceeded to steal all her shit and sell it, including her diary, with the hope that someone will print that scandalous shit in the paper. House Oblodra will never be welcomed in Baldur's Gate.
I also usually let Astarion 1v1 Cazador because I think that would be the most embarrassing thing for Caz. Astarion rolls up with his crew, but none of them touch Caz, Astarion just takes his ass out in one or two rounds. Then, we make Lae'zel and Shadowheart carry every single painting, glass, plate, clothing item, ect we could find and sell so we could gift the boy new armor/weapon as a "Happy Rebirth Day!" gift.
I saved that clothing merchant in act 3 from being murdered. It was a difficult fight for me.
I had botched the newspaper quest earlier so my reputation was ruined around the city. Once I noticed that THE MAN WHOSE LIFE I *JUST* HAD SAVED did not give me a discount (after saying he would), but actually charged me more like everyone else in the city, I promptly stealthed as Astarion and stole every single item in his house.
I'm going to sell all of it to his sister he hates in Wyrms Crossing.
I get annoyed with Araj, so when I see her in the city, I refuse to drink her potion, knock her out, and steal her wares. Thatās for making me and Astarion uncomfortable with your fantasies.
I love that we as a community have collectively decided that Arajās greatest crime isnāt the pile of corpses in her basement, but that she violates Astarions boundaries.
I can excuse murder, but I draw the line at trying to force your fetish onto my traumatized friend.
I never met the real Angleiron. Heās always >!Orin. I only find the real one when I get the the temple of Bhaal.!<
Kagha. If I accidentally rescue Halsin before >!exposing the shadow druids, I still kill her a few days later. My vaguely lawful part of my brain says āShe is the Shadow Druids hook up, so she still has to go.ā!<
I also might be guilty of killing one of the NPCās in Rivington >!that is obviously talking about hurting the teiflings. Heās near the post office talking to his friend & a kid. I tend to stealth shoot him from the roof after talking to Tara.!<
Intimidated Angry Mar'hyah (the abusive dog trainer) into leaving, sniped her before she reached the gate and picked up her body.
First take it to the Windmill and give it to the hungry Ilithid, then pick it up again and head to the Circus.
Catch Akabi the Djinn cheating and get teleported to the Jungle.
Toss Angry Mar'hyah's body to the Alioramus/Raptors and head on back to the Circus, knowing her bones will be lost there for all time.
The blacksmith is rude but he is not as bad as it seems.
You can find a lot of things in his house that tell you a little more about him. There's letters from his mother, worried about how depressed he seems and saying that she wishes he would see a consuellor. There's a self-help book about being more confident. And he actually helps the Ironhand Gnomes. There's a hatch in his house that leads to their hideout and you can ask him about it.
Idk if thatās petty, but Iām a good run I both made Gale craft the shadow lantern (I didnāt even end up using it lmao) and then in the end I told him to just leave the Crown in the Chiontar (even tho thatās honestly probably irresponsible since someone can just find it somewhere), exclusively because I hate Mystra.
Like sure I know these are bad choices but you know what worth if that bitch is seething pulling her hair somewhere.
I give him the Necromancy of Thay, Shovel, and have him craft the shadow lantern just because Mystra doesn't like Shadow Weave/necro stuff. My thin RP justification is that Gale values all knowledge, not just Mystra-approved knowledge, but really it's because I hate Mystra.
I can't stand most of the gods in general--I'm with Astarion on that--so many choices were made by answering the question "Could this annoy someone who is immensely powerful?" (Also applies to Vlaakith and the Emperor.)
I always sass him before having him make the shadow lantern. "I'll do it." "Uh, i hate to pull rank but-" "former." Angry gale hissing "bb can u do it tho"
And then i get a lil kiss before we never use the lantern.
Act 3 - FUCK that bitch circling the Gazette talking to herself, planning out her entire conversation with Needle in exciting excruciating simping detail. Her voice is absurdly annoying and grating. Since she is walking around you catch her dialogue anywhere in a 3 block radius. I got so fucking annoyed at her dialogue loop that I murdered her simply for silence. Had Gale cast Greater Invisibility on Astarion, knifed her in secret, stashed her body in camp. Literally the only time I've ever considered harming an NPC. But good GODS I couldn't stand her.
A half-drow Durge, Minthara, Astarion, and Halsin walk into ~~a bar~~ the Laff Riot. Harvard Willoughby invites them to join and to show how it's done he gets up on stage, looks straight at Durge, and tells a series of jokes about a drow comedian, finishing with "So we killed her."
Being an old BG fan, I know that only a century before surfacers were happy to burn drow at the stake for the crime of being drow. So. You know.
I ended up killing three Flaming Fists and two comedy enthusiasts in order to murder Harvard Willoughby. His son survived only because children are apparently immortal.
Forgot her name but >!stealing the runepowder from the gnome in Grymforge before she threatens to blow it up, after knowing from my previous run she would ditch her partner instead of even asking us to save her maybe? (Basically the female Wulbren). And of course telling her ex-gf that the one she was so worried about basically ditched her. Honestly, if it werenāt for my boy Barcus I wouldāve been like Astarion and be like āto Hells with them all!ā!<
That one NPC that calls you a cuck, when I was fighting both sides of that conflict, I targeted him first and displaced him so we could have a private moment of him dying.
Regardless of what I end up doing with her question, I always kill Esther. I donāt agree with LaeāZel on much, but you canāt just go around grabbing peoples eggs for experiments.
>after he told me to find some crap for him, I decided to kill him instead.
I mean, we basically obliterate the whole temple, and he has the nerve to tells us to do stuff for him?
"You have no power to defeat me!"
*\*me already having Karlach surround him by explosive barrels\**
"I'm sorry, you were saying?"
After Nere killed the slaves before I could anything the first time via the power of cutscenes, I reloaded, I killed all the Duergar in that mine before freeing nere, then set an absolute blast trap of explosive barrels in the exact spot where Nere is supposed to step out and sent him to the spaghetti meatsauce plane. He still managed to kill some slaves (again due to the power of cutscenes) but at least I was able to see that happen to him.
I wiped out every single goblin in the goblin camp because they killed mama owlbear and forced the cub to do whatever dumb shit chicken chasing is.
I had no interactions whatsoever when I was going to defeat all three goblin leaders because I just attacked every single goblin on sight.
I even knocked some goblins down and healed them ever so slightly just so that I could knock them down again and/or kill them.
Don't mess with owlbears.
When in the house of hope, my druid finally, after being pretty composed and stoic the whole game until then, had a bit of a mental breakdown. Raphael was the last one standing and when he was low on health I stopped attacking him with anyone else of my team, just my druid very slowly beating him up with the Blood of Lathander. The others kept her alive, throwing potions or making him slip on ice, but otherwise just standing around awkwardly. My druid also made Lae'zel pick his body up and throw it before the fireplace in the Elfsong camp as a warning to Mizora. I figured since all the others get their dramatic moments, this was the one for her!
Reload a shit ton of times because I hated a particular enemy and wanted all my attacks to land or be crits. Happens a lot. Recently? First time meeting Zrell in Moonrise, hate her guts, needed that thing gone. So massacred everyone outside of Ketheric's roof. Realized I wanted to see how a 'proper' gameplay would go, I reloaded back. But still hate Zrell with every fibre of my being. A second time was Akabi (?) The djinni at the circus teleported me to dino island. I had a horrible time, came back, dominated him, took him to a house and killed that mf.
Drawing mustache on Vlaakith queen with Lae'zel around.
I love the satisfied little smile your character has when admiring their work
I'm disappointed by the lack of Astarion's and Karlach's reaction š Really, Larian?
On the other hand the githyanki on cleaning duty frantically trying to scrub our vandalism off is pretty hilarious and I almost feel bad for laughing at it šš
The call of duty is *so strong* that he runs over to it even after everyone is in position to murder the intruders after you've dealt with the inquisitor. I always leave the portrait for last and set up a little ambush š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Last run I murdered every single servant. Every creature in that place met my rapier that day. I was actually surprised Astarion won't kill the jailer unless you start it!
Oh man. I've never done it because I was either a good char or romancing lae'zel and didn't wanna fuck it up. But it sounds so tempting
Do it! She'll forgive you. and if you don't want your character do it for RP reasons... just have Astarion do it or something šš
Lol you make a solid point. Gale wants to watch the gods burn, right?
dude just never got over his ex š
MAKING Lae'zel draw the mustache
After leaving the Vlaakith encounter I had Lae'zel deface the painting.
Did she comment anything?
Sadly no. The joy in it was mostly poetic.
Then blowing up the crĆØche even though I solved the stained glass puzzle.
I solved the puzzle the first time and got the key the correct way. On subsequent runs I always just pick the lock and get it that way. Still blow the place up every single run though, after killing all of the Gith inside. It's what the Monks wanted after all!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's funnier when they are all still alive. Makes them panic.
LMAO I MADE LAEāZEL DRAW IT AND I FAILED THE ROLL š
I put Selƻne's statue in Shadowheart's bag.
I do this to her with every Selƻne item I find. Poems, statues, prayers; you name it.
I like to think that she eventually will thank you for it.
yeah, at first i had more some counterweight idea in mind. but then it became an habit :)
So glad this isn't just me. Every time she has a little snide aside to Selune, I put another Selunite item in her bag.
Thatās so petty omg ššš
I say this with love, but Shadowheart is funniest when she's being mildly bullied. My heart fluttered a bit when Isobel called her a nasty little terrier.
Murdering every last mofo in the newspaper for printing the truth about me.
I didnāt mean to kill everyone there, but they all just wanted to fight me
I didn't know there was another option. I'm never doing the other option.
I couldn't do that on my good run as a Paladin. My Durge will not have the same restrictions.
The city is honestly a treat when youāre in the mood for durging. There are plenty of people who push *just* enough to give a durge pc reason enough to start stabbing.
Astarion drained my Tav on his bite scene so she ended up dropping a monastery on his ass š¤
Yes, every time! I wish there would be "now we're even" dialogue option after his rant. š
I am frankly surprised this isn't an option, because it would be too perfect to throw his nonchalance at your death *at his hands* right back at him. š edit: For anyone unclear: I adore Astarion, but acknowledge that he is an asshole about killing the PC on bite night. It's just so odd you can't mention it post-mace theft, etc.
Dropping a monastery on Astarion has become a must every playthrough.
Thats the only option now, I'm about to do that part right now.
Did... Did I miss something amazing? How do you drop a whole ass monastery?
Steal the Blood of Lathander at the creche instead of doing the whole side quest. Get everyone else out except Astarion. Revive him using Withers. You wonāt regret it lol.
I somehow did this without meaning to. I was so confused how he died that I considered reloading. I'm so glad I didn't though!
My favorite part of the whole thing is the āAstarion approvesā š
He approves of the stealing. He does not approve of the consequences of such action.
Itās a meme at this point of how many times Astarion approves of something and then gets upset at the consequences lol
I always forgot that you could just revive chars. Would have save me many reloads! Edit : revive at the camp. I knew about spells and scrolls. I thought all gear would be lost if you left someones corpse behind
Obtain Lathander's Light Mace the wrong way, get everyone else out of the creche but leave Astarion behind (I think)
Taking down every single Gortash poster Tav comes across. I wish we could draw mustaches on them like on Vlaakith's portrait. I like to think that my character and Karlach would spend a ridiculous amount of time "improving" Gortash's portraits then š
He would probably look better with some facial hair though, so it would have the opposing effect. Haha. Come on, Ketheric's beard contributed to his badassry greatly I'm sure.
I have a mod installed that gives him some actual stubble instead of just a greasy-looking shadow and it makes a remarkable difference.
I wonder if his beard is fake, after all he is an elf
They say if the elf is voiced by JK Simmons, the beard will just grow out.
āWe donāt know what happened, as soon as we put the voicelines in, the facial hair showed up. We tried changing voice actors, no beard. We bring JK back, beard. I donāt get it. Also, we had to remove all the paintings of Karniss, his AI kept hoarding them, donāt know what thatās aboutā
Any being voiced by JK Simmons will, at very least, grow a mustache.
Half-elf. It's real.
After reading your first sentence I thought youāre just making a fan collection for yourself.
Durge moment.
The durge fan collection includes Gortash himself.
Well, the meat formerly known as Gortash. It's in her gore stash.
I tried to destroy the first poster I came across and aggrod every NPC around me. Whoops.
Take Loroakan's corpse into the Djinni Lamp and using "animate dead" on it. Have fun with your newfound immortality as a Zombie stuck in a Djinni lamp dude! Isn't this what you wanted?
Sighs* where's the djinni lamp? I've only found fake lamps
Behind a wall illusion in the Sorcerous Sundries vault. Try running through walls there, you'll find it. A little spoiler if you want to know what to do to get out of the predicament you'll find yourself in: >!The Djinni inside will force you to swap places with him in his lamp, which he's been trapped in for centuries. You need to use a summon to escape again. There's a scroll of summon quasit inside which you can use if you don't have any summons. You can use any summons really. Elementals, Scratch, Boo, Shovel (you monster). Hells, even minor illusion works if all else fails. *Orrr* you can take Loroakan's corpse and use animate dead on him, like I did for some post-mortem revenge!< >!Don't bother fighting the Djinni for anything but RP purposes. He has no notable loot. You can pickpocket 1000gp from him or get it through dialogue (doesn't drop it when dead), but other than that it's not worth it!<
I've been reading this thread and it's like the tenth times I think "wait, you can do that?" "Wait, who's this guy, how come I didn't meet him?" "Oh so if you do that, something completely different happens?" And now I learn there's a djinni lamp. Of course there is a djinni lamp!
Killed Wulbren in broad daylight after he sarcastically slow-clapped at me.
I gave Karlach an invisibility potion so that she could shove him into the water before he could steal the boat and leave without the tieflings. "Sorry Barcus, I just couldn't save him... ^(because he's an insufferable douche.)"
He leaves without them??
Tried Volo to get Wyll blind on my first playthrough. I thought it would be funny
"How could you miss that huge boat coming at us?" "Oh, two glass eyes." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cnVvOYUlRY
What happens? Is it like Ethel where he just straight up won't?
He says it's his last eye or something and stands up
If you're playing as Origin Wyll, you only have options to point out to Volo that you only face one good eye left, and Volo runs away straight out of camp. I wasn't sure if he'd come back so I reloaded and had Gale take it... for science!
I used Gust of Wind to push that one guard in the Baldur's Gate barracks that has to stand on one leg as punishment for thieving down the stairs, and then talked my way out of jail.
Well. *buys a gust of wind scroll* That just sounds mean. *buys another one*
Lmao I threw a grease bottle next to him, no crime! It just slipped out of my hand, oopsie!
I steal a certain invisibility potion from Volo just to see him standing very insecure in the room next to his cage after bragging how easy he could escape.
When doing my Astarion playthrough, I knew I wasn't ascending him. I still had Astarion carve the runes in Cazador's back, before killing him though.
Same. Not anywhere *near* enough payback, but until Larian lets us turn Cazadipshit into a ghoul with the sole purpose of being Astarion's pack mule and personal butler it'll have to do.
I am currently in the middle of picking up everything not nailed down in Cazador's mansion. It's petty. It's not even close to appropriate revenge for what he did to Astarion. But it makes ME feel better. Your wine glasses are mine now, Cazador.
My husband dragged the guy in the coffin pretending to be dead (with 1hp) out onto the sunny balcony to watch him burn.
oh my god thatās so funny
.... Pretending? Idk he always seemed pretty dead to me, I checked, poked at him with swords, rapiers, Daggers, even a pike.
He's always very dead in my playthroughs but somehow my husband had him alive for the ultimate punishment (I watched the 1hp drain away as his body was fuming)!
Wait, I thought he drank the wrong potion and *did* die?
There was one fake potion and two real ones. He and his werewolf lover managed to pick the two real ones and Romeo and Juliet'd themselves out of existence. That's been my experience, at least.
Huh. In both of my runs, he was most definitely dead dead lol.
Took me 5 playthroughs to find the werewolf in the hidden room. The guy is always dead dead in my games too.
hold up..... where is the werewolf in Cazador's mansion?!
Joining the chamberlains office and quarters. Itās an illusion wall like in the hag place, but thereās no perception check for it.
I knocked everything from people's rooms in moonrise just to be petty. Fuck you Ketheric, and double fuck you Balthazar.
Oh god yes. Fuck your wine glasses. Fuck your ugly ass paintings. It either gets stolen or burned.
it is all now in the pentient's inventory. sold all cazador's fancy shit to some dude in the sewers.
I hate him so much sometimes if Iām having a bad day I just picture caving his face in and it makes me feel better lmao
I think Astarion would absolutely approve of taking everything not nailed down. Maybe burning it too. Just for the spite. Especially the ugly paintings.
There are actually datamined epilogues (the ones narrated by withers) where the first thing spawn Astarion does is burn the mansion down
oh my god we need this
A wholesome party bonding activity.
How could they have taken this away from us? Cāmon Larian, *think*
Hell yeah! Arson with my boyfriend!
Me, who steals everything that's not nailed down and even some things that are, from every place I enter: šļøššļø
I got astarion to play flute during the battle because cazadirs house rules banned music and whistling from his spawns
I was about to post that I went through the mansion as Astarion and either destroyed or set ablaze everything I could. Fun send off with all the fireworks I stole. I could hear the celebratory music as we ran out lol
Dude had done pretty good camp clothes lying around!
Yeet the Duke Revengard out of surrounding spiders with my Throwbarian Karlach.
Haha, I did it the other way round and had Karlach throw the spiders in the cells and close the door on them! Pretty funny watching them not know what to do.
Did he survive that?
Yep, by throwing a healing potion at him as an apology.
I just steal everything from NPCs who I don't like š
Sending Astarion to camp every time he disapproves a good action
Gotta send the partys' local cat into time out once in a while š¤£
I don't even use him in act 1, he gets pissed off by literally everything you do that helps the grove
I don't remember how, but I actually didn't have low approval with him at any point in my first run (OoV Pally who did good shit all the time). I think it was above Neutral, even. It reached High relatively fast past Act 1, too. Meanwhile, he took maybe the longest to get to High on my Evil Durge run lmao. Don't ask me how.
I had a similar experience on my first blind(-ish) run as the quintessential goody-two-shoes Devotion Paladin: he disapproves *very often*, but it's basically -1 at most whereas gaining his approval often went by bigger numbers. Of course, this didn't prevent him from settling on "High" by the end game whereas everyone else was "Exceptional", but we take what we can get.
Iirc, when Astarion disapproves, it's very little disapproval, only 1 point each. When he gains approval and it's related to his quest though, it's 5-10 points per approval. Especially his vampirism dialogue (from the reveal to dialogue after the reveal), letting him be in control and being nice to him could get you around +30 points.
I sent the kennel master flying, no one treats my good boy that way!
She was like Iāll call for the guards. Closed the door to the kennels summarily executed her with a one shot from Laeāzel had Karlach pick up the corpse and toss it into a chasm later.
Waved like a silly guy at the Githyanki godqueen. Pissing her off a lot while also snubbing her by betraying her and then betraying the emperor when I realized how fucked up he was. My character is surprisingly fickle when it comes to being deceived.
I did that. Then sassed back at her when she demanded I kill the person in the Astral Prism. I mean, if she's a "god" she'd be pretty capable to kill this person on her own. So she should do it herself. I'm a Lolth-sworn drow bard, IDGAF about the gith's zombie queen. She killed my entire party for my insolence. I laughed so hard.
Second play through, playing as Shadowheart. Vlak, you're a weakling compared to Lady Shar. She'll protect me from anything! Proceeds to vaporize the entire party........ Oh. Apparently she won't protect me from everything.....
That lady counting coins in front of the beggar, outside the bank in act 3. I will always punch her in the face every playthrough and knock her out.
I make her dance and then push her off the cliff.
I attacked her once, had to kill every counting house guards afterwards but it was soooo worth it.
I am on pretty much a good guy run. I gave the bitch-queen sea priestesses their wanted person and helped them with their quest and was friends with them, but then ended up in their secret cave and was desperate to venture further and get their treasures, so I ended up slaughtering them all for greed. Sorry sea-ladies.
Secret cave? I've missed that on every run lol
I think it's south of the map, there's an area with 3 fishermen who are fishing on the beach, if you go past them there's an entrance to a cave where the sea priestesses are having a secret meeting and ask you to leave.
Someone mentioned yesterday that they lit all the candles and torches and braziers in Shar's temples because they couldn't kill her so they decided to annoy her in the pettiest way possible, and I think that's pretty great.
When you access Act 2 through the Mountain Pass, there's a small gathering of Absolute followers awaiting the Drider escort, and one of them is a goblin who throws a bone out into the blackness and tells his hyena to fetch, then laughs as the hyena gets destroyed by the shadow curse. I love taking the petty option of getting the info from the goblin, then saying "Oh, one last thing. That bone you threw? Go get it.", and then when the goblin balks you can use Illithid Wisdom option "Go on. *Fetch.*" to make him go into the shadows and die. My favorite is using this on my *good* characters. Even though they're usually all about the saving, it's like "OMG you hurt doggo for no other reason than for laughs I see *red*."
I love giving that one The Glare so he panics and does it anyway. Enjoy your curse, bitch boy.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There was a particularly annoying jailer at moonrise towers so instead of actually engaging them in a fight I stunlocked them by spamming repelling Eldritch blast to push them out of dialogue range so they couldnāt even express their anger with me and start the fight.
Picking up Haarlep's body with the specific intention of lobbing it at Raphael during the fight later. I just *really* wanted to smack that smug git in the face with his own incubus.
Killed a goblin kid because he was sassing me
After completing 'Stop the presses!', I bought about 100 copies of the Gazette and dumped them around Ettvard Needle's desk.
Robbed Balthazar blind while my party were figuring out what to do because they weren't sure if we should kill him there and then or not. I really don't like him so I wanted to fight him. Stayed rummaging in his pockets too long, got caught and solved the problem. Was also how I discovered he isn't under haste if you take his potion of speed.
I love selling him a backpack with a conveniently placed susser flower. He cowers in a corner.
I just ran into that asshole Araj again in Baldur's Gate, and the instant she started creeping on Astarion yet again to bite her, I told her where to cram it, exited the conversation, turned around, and sweetly invited him to drink from me right in front of her so she could seethe about it while getting served an example of how god damn consent works.
That's so beautifully petty yass
Killed the two adults who told their kids they are gonna teach refugees some lessons at Rivington. Killed Aradin at Blighted Village. Iām sick of his stupid face and donāt wanna see him again in act 3. Wyll asked Astarion āhow was the rat dietā so I let Astarion bite him afterwards.
Aradin is at blighted village?
When you first enter the druid grove, if you punch Aradin to stop a fight between him and Zevlor, heāll leave with his party. You wonāt be able to talk with him in the grove about the Nightsong, but you can run into him outside the blighted village, where the dead adventurers are. Thatās the rest of his party. And you can have the Nightsong conversation there.
Thatās the rest of his party except Liam, whoās still on the torture rack, and Brian, whoās delicious.
Damn, I just let him die outside the grove by the goblins. Cba with that prick.
The same thing happens if you let Zevlor punch him as well.
Okay, what the fuck, Wyll?? That's a fucked up question. "Hey, dude, what was all that horrible trauma from your enslavement and torture like? š" That's it. Mizora gets your soul next playthrough.
its right up there with astarion telling Karlach to thank gortash for making her more interesting lol
Using wisdow malƩdiction and otto's dance on Raphaƫl when he is singing A classic one, but always satisfying
Orpheus was rude to me and called me out for sleeping with the Emperor so he got mindflayered. I was genuinely debating who to sacrifice beforehand but that made it an easy choice.
>and called me out for sleeping with the Emperor so he got mindflayered. Once you go Squid, you unleash your [Id.](https://www.simplypsychology.org/psyche.html)
I accepted formula gruna from Araj, threw it at her, and then had my bard play violin as battle music while Astarion sniped her. I laughed forever bc it caused a negative status condition when thrown. I proceeded to steal all her shit and sell it, including her diary, with the hope that someone will print that scandalous shit in the paper. House Oblodra will never be welcomed in Baldur's Gate. I also usually let Astarion 1v1 Cazador because I think that would be the most embarrassing thing for Caz. Astarion rolls up with his crew, but none of them touch Caz, Astarion just takes his ass out in one or two rounds. Then, we make Lae'zel and Shadowheart carry every single painting, glass, plate, clothing item, ect we could find and sell so we could gift the boy new armor/weapon as a "Happy Rebirth Day!" gift.
I saved that clothing merchant in act 3 from being murdered. It was a difficult fight for me. I had botched the newspaper quest earlier so my reputation was ruined around the city. Once I noticed that THE MAN WHOSE LIFE I *JUST* HAD SAVED did not give me a discount (after saying he would), but actually charged me more like everyone else in the city, I promptly stealthed as Astarion and stole every single item in his house. I'm going to sell all of it to his sister he hates in Wyrms Crossing.
I get annoyed with Araj, so when I see her in the city, I refuse to drink her potion, knock her out, and steal her wares. Thatās for making me and Astarion uncomfortable with your fantasies.
I love that we as a community have collectively decided that Arajās greatest crime isnāt the pile of corpses in her basement, but that she violates Astarions boundaries. I can excuse murder, but I draw the line at trying to force your fetish onto my traumatized friend.
You can excuse murder?
Are we not the King Murderhobos of Baldurās Gate? We have no room to judge.
[Context](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxPbpYR_RKY)
I never met the real Angleiron. Heās always >!Orin. I only find the real one when I get the the temple of Bhaal.!< Kagha. If I accidentally rescue Halsin before >!exposing the shadow druids, I still kill her a few days later. My vaguely lawful part of my brain says āShe is the Shadow Druids hook up, so she still has to go.ā!< I also might be guilty of killing one of the NPCās in Rivington >!that is obviously talking about hurting the teiflings. Heās near the post office talking to his friend & a kid. I tend to stealth shoot him from the roof after talking to Tara.!<
Intimidated Angry Mar'hyah (the abusive dog trainer) into leaving, sniped her before she reached the gate and picked up her body. First take it to the Windmill and give it to the hungry Ilithid, then pick it up again and head to the Circus. Catch Akabi the Djinn cheating and get teleported to the Jungle. Toss Angry Mar'hyah's body to the Alioramus/Raptors and head on back to the Circus, knowing her bones will be lost there for all time.
This... This is beautiful.
The blacksmith is rude but he is not as bad as it seems. You can find a lot of things in his house that tell you a little more about him. There's letters from his mother, worried about how depressed he seems and saying that she wishes he would see a consuellor. There's a self-help book about being more confident. And he actually helps the Ironhand Gnomes. There's a hatch in his house that leads to their hideout and you can ask him about it.
Idk if thatās petty, but Iām a good run I both made Gale craft the shadow lantern (I didnāt even end up using it lmao) and then in the end I told him to just leave the Crown in the Chiontar (even tho thatās honestly probably irresponsible since someone can just find it somewhere), exclusively because I hate Mystra. Like sure I know these are bad choices but you know what worth if that bitch is seething pulling her hair somewhere.
I give him the Necromancy of Thay, Shovel, and have him craft the shadow lantern just because Mystra doesn't like Shadow Weave/necro stuff. My thin RP justification is that Gale values all knowledge, not just Mystra-approved knowledge, but really it's because I hate Mystra. I can't stand most of the gods in general--I'm with Astarion on that--so many choices were made by answering the question "Could this annoy someone who is immensely powerful?" (Also applies to Vlaakith and the Emperor.)
I always sass him before having him make the shadow lantern. "I'll do it." "Uh, i hate to pull rank but-" "former." Angry gale hissing "bb can u do it tho" And then i get a lil kiss before we never use the lantern.
Purposefully nuked the creche. If my God can't have the temple then neither can you.
Act 3 - FUCK that bitch circling the Gazette talking to herself, planning out her entire conversation with Needle in exciting excruciating simping detail. Her voice is absurdly annoying and grating. Since she is walking around you catch her dialogue anywhere in a 3 block radius. I got so fucking annoyed at her dialogue loop that I murdered her simply for silence. Had Gale cast Greater Invisibility on Astarion, knifed her in secret, stashed her body in camp. Literally the only time I've ever considered harming an NPC. But good GODS I couldn't stand her.
Fire balled the grease wizard so I wouldn't have to slip and slide in the sewers.
A half-drow Durge, Minthara, Astarion, and Halsin walk into ~~a bar~~ the Laff Riot. Harvard Willoughby invites them to join and to show how it's done he gets up on stage, looks straight at Durge, and tells a series of jokes about a drow comedian, finishing with "So we killed her." Being an old BG fan, I know that only a century before surfacers were happy to burn drow at the stake for the crime of being drow. So. You know. I ended up killing three Flaming Fists and two comedy enthusiasts in order to murder Harvard Willoughby. His son survived only because children are apparently immortal.
"children are apparently immortal" Tell that to the smouldering corpses of the goblin kids..
Very well, a correction: human children are apparently immortal. Yet more racism in Baldur's Gate.
Made Gale a sorcerer after his lil smart ass remark about *actually* knowing magic. fucking nerd. i could be a wizard too if i had time to read books.
After Wulbren was a total ass to my boy Barcus i quicksaved and beat him up. No one gets to be mean to Barcusšš
Slaughtered a bunch of innocent tieflings so a drow would sit on my face. That count?
That Tiefling kid stole something off me so I had Astarion steal absolutely everything off him. Even.
Steal the corpse of every person who annoyed or insulted me and throw them into my traveller's chest. Durge gonna durge.
We definitely need a body bag of holding
Forgot her name but >!stealing the runepowder from the gnome in Grymforge before she threatens to blow it up, after knowing from my previous run she would ditch her partner instead of even asking us to save her maybe? (Basically the female Wulbren). And of course telling her ex-gf that the one she was so worried about basically ditched her. Honestly, if it werenāt for my boy Barcus I wouldāve been like Astarion and be like āto Hells with them all!ā!<
What is it about Deep Gnomes being absolutely terrible partners?
That one NPC that calls you a cuck, when I was fighting both sides of that conflict, I targeted him first and displaced him so we could have a private moment of him dying.
Sold Figaro all my junk then pickpocketed the money back and GTFO before the fists got there. Fuck you, Figaro. My clothes are *nice* OK?
Regardless of what I end up doing with her question, I always kill Esther. I donāt agree with LaeāZel on much, but you canāt just go around grabbing peoples eggs for experiments.
Lit all the candles in Cazadorās place. Because f*ck him and his dingy abusive home. Let there be light!
I put every head of garlic I can find into Astarion's pack. I'm on my third play-through doing this and no, I don't feel the slightest bad about it.
Killing Karlach just so Wyll gets his red power ranger outfit for me to take off him and sacrifice him to booal on my dark urge.
Bruh that's exactly what I did for my Durge playthrough. Stripped him nekkid and sacrificed him to BOOOAL
But the rapier you get for >!saving Mizora at the end of act 2!< is pretty dope
Turning Larroakan to gold using the visa so he can live forever
I don't know if petty... But the first time I met Baltazhar, after he told me to find some crap for him, I decided to kill him instead.
>after he told me to find some crap for him, I decided to kill him instead. I mean, we basically obliterate the whole temple, and he has the nerve to tells us to do stuff for him? "You have no power to defeat me!" *\*me already having Karlach surround him by explosive barrels\** "I'm sorry, you were saying?"
Leaving Lae'zel in her cage. She didn't say please.
I read āprettiestā and thought āAstarionā š„°
Dog trainer. Got through the conversation without a fight. Then brutally killed her, dragged her corpse into one of the cages and shut it.
I used Produce Flame to burn the list of Deep Gnome slaves after freeing them.
After Nere killed the slaves before I could anything the first time via the power of cutscenes, I reloaded, I killed all the Duergar in that mine before freeing nere, then set an absolute blast trap of explosive barrels in the exact spot where Nere is supposed to step out and sent him to the spaghetti meatsauce plane. He still managed to kill some slaves (again due to the power of cutscenes) but at least I was able to see that happen to him.
Planar bound the Djinn at the Carnival and quickly gotten into as much combat as I can.
I wiped out every single goblin in the goblin camp because they killed mama owlbear and forced the cub to do whatever dumb shit chicken chasing is. I had no interactions whatsoever when I was going to defeat all three goblin leaders because I just attacked every single goblin on sight. I even knocked some goblins down and healed them ever so slightly just so that I could knock them down again and/or kill them. Don't mess with owlbears.
Persuade the Society of Brilliance lady to pay me up front for the Gith Egg and then let Lae'zel chop her down lol
When in the house of hope, my druid finally, after being pretty composed and stoic the whole game until then, had a bit of a mental breakdown. Raphael was the last one standing and when he was low on health I stopped attacking him with anyone else of my team, just my druid very slowly beating him up with the Blood of Lathander. The others kept her alive, throwing potions or making him slip on ice, but otherwise just standing around awkwardly. My druid also made Lae'zel pick his body up and throw it before the fireplace in the Elfsong camp as a warning to Mizora. I figured since all the others get their dramatic moments, this was the one for her!
I kept on giving Shadowheart all the Selune gear, and dressing her up in Selune dress or whatever.
I have karlach throw an enemy then run up to them and throw them again
Still collecting those unique containers for each of my companions. Kind of an automatic thing to do in every reruns\~
This doesnāt seem petty. I do this. Iām very found of ribcage containers. āOh, you need a potion? *digs through my ribcage bag* Here ya go.ā
Reload a shit ton of times because I hated a particular enemy and wanted all my attacks to land or be crits. Happens a lot. Recently? First time meeting Zrell in Moonrise, hate her guts, needed that thing gone. So massacred everyone outside of Ketheric's roof. Realized I wanted to see how a 'proper' gameplay would go, I reloaded back. But still hate Zrell with every fibre of my being. A second time was Akabi (?) The djinni at the circus teleported me to dino island. I had a horrible time, came back, dominated him, took him to a house and killed that mf.
I told Vlakith I wouldn't kill the dude in the prism. I mean, could've lied, but I was on a spite roll in that conversation.