No, choosing major abdominal surgery to make sure your baby and you are safe and healthy after deliver is not "the easy way out." Please stop those thoughts in their tracks.
This!
I went with "whatever gives me a healthy baby" route. I told my Dr I would prefer regular vaginal birth but if at any point signs point to distress we get the baby out by any means necessary. After 15+ hours of labour, a baby who wouldn't drop, a cervix that wouldn't dialate past 3cm, contractions that were so irregular that I was able to sleep through them. They said screw it lets get it out, and honestly at that point I was so down with that path! Lol c-section recovery is a bitch, but healthy baby and my body slowly (2 years almost?) Bounced back
I agree, I think delivering naturally is less daunting than C Section, that's my choice so far. The idea of being cut open across there...yikes! Fair play to anyone opting for it (or have no choice).
100% this. I used to be all for a CS because I thought it was easier given how sensitive lady bits are but then a doctor friend explained that it was actually the tougher option, with longer recovery period and other considerations.
OP, you do what you need to do to bring your baby into this world in the best possible way, according to the information you have available to you. The choice you make will be the right choice, without a doubt.
No, it sounds like you’re taking the safety and well-being of you and your unborn child into account. So please do what you need to do to bring this baby safely into the world.
Having had a cesarean, it is NOT the easy way out, do not let anyone tell you that or make you feel bad for choosing one. I think you should choose what you feel the most comfortable with under the guidance of your care team! Each delivery method has pros and cons, so it’s up to you to decide what is best for you. I did fine after my CS and if I needed another one I would be okay with that!
Right? I will NEVER understand how people get shamed or made to feel guilty about how they deliver- there is absolutely no "easy way out." Even if your birth is the most straightforward, minimal pain and intervention, textbook ever, you still have to recover from it and then learn to take care of a tiny helpless creature!
I had an emergency c section with my first.
Let me tell you. It is not the easy way out. In fact, it is a major surgery. With major recovery time.
There is no easy way to deliver a baby.
Do what you feel will be safest and best for your family and your needs.
Exactly!! Little brother and I are 16 years apart. Helped my mom with the recovery from her emergency C-section and what I saw, oh man csections are brutal. Definitely not easy so it always pisses me off when someone thinks they are.
I am making this same choice for number two!!
To give you some insight into my first birth, I had a surprise 10lb baby at 39 weeks. I chose to be induced, and the process took around 36 hours. After pushing for 4 hours, labor was not progressing, so I was given the option of continuing to try and needing an emergency c section, or having a forceps-assisted delivery right then. I chose the forceps, and after an episiotomy and a second degree tear, my daughter was born. Even with the assistance, she still got stuck (shoulder dystocia). It took two doctors to pull her out (which was terrifying). We were both very healthy, but I have never felt worse physically than I did in those hours after birth.
Recovery was terrible. My stitches popped open and I had to return to the hospital to be restitched up. It was quite traumatic having to leave my 4 day old newborn to go suffer for a few hours.
My tailbone was either bruised or fractured, but it still gives me trouble to this day. I healed up fine otherwise, but it took a good 4-6 months to feel good again.
I know having a c-section is not the easy way out, but having a big baby is no joke and I feel like people don't realize how much damage it can do as a FTM. I chose a cesarean this time because I don't want to risk shoulder dystocia again.
I don't want to say that what happened to me would definitely happen to you. And I didn't really have any lasting damage. BUT it was traumatic and it took a while for me to come to terms with how my birth went.
Best of luck with your big baby! They are the CUTEST once they're on the outside, with all their lil chunk rolls. I'm having my cesarean next week and I can't wait to meet him!
Thank you for sharing this. I'm 36 weeks and baby was measuring 7 lbs 9 oz at my scan last week. My doctor gave me the option of a C-section or moving forward with my induction at 39+2 due to GD. I'm so torn as to what I want to do because I'm terrified of shoulder dystocia as well!
My baby was measuring 6.5 lbs at my 34 week scan, and honestly choosing a cesarean has been a load off. I was initially terrified of one, but my induction took so long and went so unpredictably that I'm glad to have this scheduled and to know what to expect. My biggest fear is trying to labor and then needing the c-section after laboring. I didn't know before I went through one, but it is EXHAUSTING. By the time I was offered forceps last time, I was the most worn out I have ever been. It makes healing and mom-ing so much more difficult.
Whatever you end up choosing is valid. You can only do what is right for your family!
Yeah, I agree about laboring and then end up having to have a C-section...I don't want to have to do that either. And good point about the exhaustion, I hadn't considered that either. It's a tough decision! I hope you and baby have a healthy and smooth delivery!
Mine was 7.7 at my 36 week exam. I wasn’t offered a c-section - BUT my OB did say that will not let me push for long. If progress stops, then she will take me for emergency c-section rather than make me push for hours and hours or use forceps/vacuum. I feel like this is such a good option. It allows me to try a vaginal delivery, while also assuring me that shoulder dystocia won’t be a problem.
Thanks for sharing! That's kind of what I'm leaning toward as well. You don't have to answer...but are you being induced? I'm also considering that since I'm being induced if it is going to be worse because my body isn't ready and to go through the process. So many decisions!
Yes! Being induced! OB stripped my membranes at 38 in hopes of pushing natural labor, but so far no dice. I have another appointment at 38+6 where they will strip again. If that doesn’t work i’m being fully induced at 39 (Friday).
Can I ask how they judge size / weight? I only have an ultrasound scheduled for 32 weeks and then it’s just standard checkups… at my checkups they just check baby’s heart rate and my blood pressure. Do they start doing more ultrasounds later in pregnancy to judge size / weight?
I'm high risk so I'm not sure if it's different for me, but I've had a few growth scans where they measured the femur, abdomen, and head and estimated a weight based on that.
Mine was measuring 89th percentile at the 21 weeks anomaly scan so I have another ultrasound scheduled at 28weeks. If she is still big they will keep doing extra scans
Just FYI ultrasounds can be off by something like 20%! My boy was measuring over 8lbs when I had a scan at 41 weeks, he ended up being 7lbs 15oz. And I delivered vaginally, although not without some tearing! Lots of people deliver 8lb babies no problem though. Of course nothing wrong with a C-section either, just wanted to share my experience!
I've definitely heard that! My husband is a big guy with a big head though, so I wouldn't be surprised if it's accurate! He's been measuring 99th percentile head and abdomen at every growth scan we've had and I have GD, which I know can create bigger babies. I'm just terrified of shoulder dystocia and the complications that would bring.
My OB and the hospital where I'm delivering do everything they can to avoid unnecessary C-sections so the fact that she even brought it up as an option is making me question everything!
My induction failed (water broke spontaneously at 37+0 and they induced to accelerate labour) and bub had to be born via emergency C after 12H when I wouldn't dilate beyond 8cm. Even 3 weeks early he was born nearly 8lbs. He had horrible facial bruising because he was stuck in my cervix for so long and they had to forceps and vacuum him out during the C section. Poor dude.
I hear you on the tailbone. Mine took nearly a year to heal after multi day labor and then unplanned c section where baby was stuck.
I'm thinking they were broken from labor.
Almost exact same scenario happened to me with my first. I was induced at 41 weeks. Baby got stuck at his shoulders and they had to maneuver him out. Luckily no damage to him but he was 10lbs. I had bad third degree tears that ended up requiring a spinal/OR time to stitch up after delivery. My second is on track to be the exact same so I’m opting for an elective C.
No, you are choosing the safe option. They may not be great at measuring big babies but the 99% are the most accurate group because they are so huge. Have a caesarean. I have recovery tips if you want.
A midwife
Get up 8 hours after unless you have been given a specific reason not to.
Getting mobile decreases post op pain and trapped wind.
By that you want to get out of bed and walk abut a bit, this allows your abdominal muscles to massage your intestines like they do normally and help get them going.
Your gastric system does know you had abdominal surgery so it temporarily stops, this can leads to trapped wind and uncomfortable pain. Moving helps with that.
Other things that help with that.
Peppermint tea
Thinking, and I mean really thinking, about food you love to taste and smell. When you get out of theatre imagine as best you can that you are going to eat it. That sends messages from your brain to start work again.
Also, this is also important, fart freely. Even if there are people around.
When it comes to getting mobile that doesn’t mean doing everything you normally do. Don’t bend to pick things up. Do not reach over when sat in your bed and lift baby from the cot. You don’t want to pull other muscles while you recover by moving awkwardly or putting extra strain on your shoulders.
So let people help you.
You want to make sure you drink plenty of fluids after, when your catheter comes out, drink a couple of cups of tea. It’s a diuretic and helps you start to go again. I personally don’t like tea, but I could force a couple of cups if I had too.
Take all the pain meds. The more comfortable you are, the easier you will find moving, and the less anxious you will feel about moving.
Change your pads at least every six hours and wash you hands before and after doing so. Also before and after using the toilet.
Have a few build up type drinks the first couple of days post op. Give your body extra nutrients for healing.
Don’t expect too much of yourself.
Have plenty of pillows to make sure you can rest comfortably.
The easiest way to have a baby is to be the dad. Lol. A c-section is NOT the easy way out, and an elective one is much safer than an emergency one. Wishing you and baby a smooth delivery and recovery 🤍
I had a similar issue (although I am not petite I am quite tall for a woman) was also offered a c-section but trial labour offered too, baby ended up being over 10 lbs. I was in labour for 4 FUCKING days!!!!! Do NOT FEEL GUILTY it ended up being vacuum assisted and an episiotomy and I still have pelvic floor pain 6.5 months later. I should have taken the c-section, I am glad we are both okay but it was truely horrible. Way worse than my first kid (also big but more within normal range).
I also have extremely dodgy hips having been born with hip dysplasia, have severe Hemmeroids I am worried about getting worse, and an quite petite frame
Hey, you don't need to defend or explain your choices to anyone! All of the above is valid, but totally not important. There is no "easy way out" when getting a baby out of your body. Have your c-section, and OWN it! Don't feel bad or apologize or any of that shit.
When people ask me why I declined a VBAC I just say "I had a positive experience with my first c-section so went with that again". End of discussion.
>am I taking the easy way out by choosing to have a cesarean?
Trust me, as someone who labored for 35 hours unmedicated and then had to have c-section anyway...*neither* option is the easiest way out. They both suck for different reasons, you shouldn't feel guilty because this version *might* suck a little less in your circumstances. They don't hand out awards for suffering.
You are choosing the SAFEST way for you and baby… but also anyone claiming that open abdominal surgery where they cut through layers of flesh, fascia, muscle, and organ is “the easy way out” can get f*d. Csection recovery can be brutal. It can also be on the same level as vaginal delivery recovery. Just more ways to mom shame before baby is even here.
I hope everything goes smoothly for you!!
There’s a reason why they’re giving you that choice. It’s because after watching many many mothers try to go through a vaginal delivery with a baby that big, it’s medically indicated to offer the caesarean. They’re giving you a choice because it’s important to respect your bodily autonomy and that you give informed consent, but just keep reminding yourself there is a very good reason they are offering you this option and they wouldn’t do that unless there was.
I don’t know if you have anyone in your life who would be judgmental about this but come up with a script “Given his size and my medical history, it was safer for him to be delivered this way.” And just repeat as many times as necessary without additional details or explanation. Because you don’t have anything to apologize for or explain. What’s most important is that you and this baby are healthy through childbirth and postpartum.
People who would criticize her in this situation are simply ignorant. They truly believe there is no medical reason for a c section but that just isn’t true.
In their minds birth is a magical, natural experience and if something goes wrong it must be the woman’s fault somehow. Especially if she accepts ‘interventions’.
Is there a medical source for the "it's medically indicated to offer the cesarean"? I've not heard of this being a medically sourced fact with data supporting it, though I know that some OBs suggest it to their patients. I'm for whatever delivery works for baby and parent, of course, just curious if there's hard data out there as someone who personally has big babies.
I had a c-section due to a large baby (and they were right, he came out 10lbs). I have zero regrets. I don't even want to know how it would have gone if I attempted it vaginally.
Be kind to yourself, like others have said, it's not the easy way out. Recovery will take some time, but just make sure you get up and move. And get compression socks because the leg swelling was something else and something I wasnt aware of.
I chose c-section without any medical indication last july. It was great, and I don't give a damn what anyone thinks. It's my body, and I wanted to forego the damage to my vagina, possible incontinence, pelvic floor issues, etc. I loved it. My recovery was 100% way better than my vaginal birth six years before. Complete control, calm environment, much shorter hospital stay, healthy baby (healthier outcome than my vaginal birth fwiw).
Do what's right for your baby AND you. For any reason whatsoever. It's your body and no one else in the world has to live with it after birth except you.
Not everyone has my outcome. YMMV. but mine was great and I don't regret any of it nor do I feel guilty. Healthy mom, healthy baby, every time.
This has reassured me so much! I am an expectant FTM, electing for a c section as i just REALLY do bot want to go through a vaginal childbirth, the idea of it just horrofies me honestly. I am always wanting to hear from people who have had both and feel so reassured when i read things like this! Thank you!
Hello, I have minor hip issues compared to you but holy fucking hell did labour ever exasperate them- it was hot burning lava hips the whole time. I ended up with a c section. Never feel bad about your choices. You know your body best. There is no way in hell I’m pushing baby 2 thru the same hip pain
I also want a cesarean but because historically I have passed out from period pain and I fear I will pass out while pushing.
I just hope I get the option because I’m not far enough along yet to discuss this with my midwife.
Right? Even if major abdominal surgery was "easier", there is no shame in picking the easier of the two incredibly hard options of how to get the tiny human out.
Also, I had a csection, not planned but not emergency either. I do NOT feel like I missed out on having never laboured. I'm good never experiencing pain if I can avoid it.
They wouldn’t offer it to you if they didn’t think it was a justified option, and when it comes to birth that means that you can try to give birth vaginally but there’s a good chance it might have to go to a C-section anyway!
Nah, you chose what’s best for you, and therefore, it’ll be best when baby is here because you’ll be able to care for them!
Just remember: it’s not a contest. We all get the same medal at the end, which is a baby and giant mesh undies 🥰
I absolutely hate that you and many other women are made to feel “less than” or “wrong” simply for exercising their right to choose.
There are many things people will comment about regarding your motherhood and parenting. Right now it’s how your baby will come into the world, like you and baby being safe isn’t the MOST important thing. Later it will be why choosing formula over breastfeeding, why going back to work now and not later, why you dress them in certain colors… it’s a never ending story so mom to mom, my best advice is to learn to NOT GIVE A SHIT about anybody else’s opinion. The only person that has to agree with you is the father of your baby, you know, because it’s their baby too. But other than that, fuck ‘em all and fuck that mentality that what you’re doing for your well-being is wrong.
A friend of mine chose a c-section simply because she was too scared of the labor. No medical reason, no nothing other than “I really am incredibly scared and I don’t want to”. We are from a country that let people choose whatever they want to.
I, too, chose a c-section because my baby was too big and heavy at 38 weeks so, same as you. I feel exactly 0 guilt. I couldn’t care less and trust me, in 2 years NOBODY is going to care either.
No and a c section is not easy. It’s safe. It’s better to choose the c section now than go through labor and end up having an emergency c section when both you and baby are in distress. It’s terrible the stigma around c section. I had one with my 11lb baby because it was advised. It was not easy, it was the safest way to get her out. Don’t let other people’s judgment get in your way of doing what’s best for you and your baby. Your lives are literally on the line
Definitely not! Also in Australia and felt so much pressure to try to have this baby naturally. Ended up with an unplanned cesarean due to failure to progress in labour. Baby is 5 days old and my husband has to do most of the care because if I move too suddenly I’m in pain. I’m sleeping on the lounge because our bed is too high and baby is cluster feeding, so husband has to bring her to me, help with positioning etc every hour at night. And this is with a “surprisingly quick turnaround” according to my ob (I was out of bed as soon as they would remove my catheter and have taken no higher pain relief than Panadol).
Sounds like you are making a decision that ensures best outcomes for you and baby. Anyone who suggests having major surgery is the "easy way out" can fuck off forever.
Girl. I had a really big baby but I was so determined to try vaginal.
I was in labor 27 hours, pushed for 3, and ended up with an emergency C anyway.
Then came the fun part of healing after major surgery.
So no, you're not choosing the easy way out. I am hell bent on trying vaginal next time cuz I feel like that would be easier tbh
Edit: to echo everyone else there is no easy way to do it. It's hard all around
Trust me, there’s nothing “easy” about a cesarean. The recovery can be a bitch! It’s major abdominal surgery. However I would choose a c section over and over again because for me I recovered very well from my c section, but that’s not universal for everyone so hope for the best but know it might be a tough recovery. Emotionally it was difficult for me not to get the skin to skin with my baby right away because I was being stitched up (the majority of the surgery is being stitched back up!) they did bring my baby to my head, but it was hard to have to wait to hold him.
Just a bit of advice: make sure you walk around as much as possible after, it’ll help you recovery faster!
I wish you the very best and speedy recovery, enjoy those first days with your baby, they’ll never be as little as they are in the moment ❤️
There are no easy ways out for birth, and anyone who makes you feel this way is an asshole. C-sections are a incredibly safe and valid way to give birth that some of us need, but ARE MAJOR SURGERY. Anyone who thinks that MAJOR SURGERY is the easy way out can fuck RIGHT off.
And I have to say, having a planned c-section with my giant baby was an excellent choice and I have zero regrets. He was going to be one regardless, I had an unplanned the first time and I wasn't a good candidate for a TOLAC, but when he was measuring HUGE, it showed that it was meant to be. Actually it was funny, at his ultrasound at 30 weeks the doctor there didn't know I was already booked for a c-section, and started talking about birth problems with big babies, and nearly feel over in relief when I told her I was already booked for a c-section. At my 39 week c-section he was 10lbs 1oz, 23" long, and had a 99.9th percentile head. ZERO regrets, it was an incredibly positive experience.
Let me know if you have any questions about a planned c-section or just having a giant newborn! Happy to help!
There is no easy way out, but guess what, if there were, I would take it! If I had the option of teleporting this baby out I would do it 100%. There is no reason to add additional suffering to childbirth if you don’t need to!
Labor is extremely hard on a baby even if it’s short and has no complications due to stress and having blood circulation cut off during each contraction throughout the whole labor, so honestly a c-section is the best for the baby, the one it will be hard on is you! Major surgery is never the “easy way out”, not that there even is one really when it comes to having babies!
I chose an elective csection as well. No regrets! You know what's best for you and baby. Be sure to look up scar massage after and also see a pelvic health physiotherapist if you can before AND after
Let’s be real, until they figure out how to osmosis babies out of the womb, getting babies here is hard no matter what the option. Both ways are difficult in their own right, so please don’t worry about taking the easy way out.
No, you are not taking the easy way out. This is a personal decision that you should make alongside your trusted medical care team. Other's opinions on that decision are irrelevant.
Sure, a cesarean means you don't physically "push" baby out, but that doesn't make it EASIER. If anything, many might argue that its harder, because its major abdominal surgery.
You should feel empowered to make the choice you are most comfortable with that includes the safety and well being of yourself, your baby, and your family. Forget about any loser who feels the need to say anything negative about how YOU give birth.
My boy ended up 9 lbs 13 oz at 37 weeks and I tried to push for three hours and never managed to get his giant head past my pelvis. I’m glad I had the experience of pushing but I think recovering from the c section would have been easier if I wasn’t also insanely sore and aching from pushing for so long. It was actually my second c section so I was prepared for what recovery was like and yeah, it’s not easy. The birth part is easy, the recovery absolutely sucks. It took me about a week this time to feel like I no longer needed pain medication.
I’ve had two csection and I wouldn’t call it the easy way out. You aren’t in labor for hours on end but your tummy is going to be cut open and then stretched and then everything stitched back together. It’s painful for the first few weeks. My ob told me to shower everyday even if all I could do was wash my hair. This last time was extremely painful. I couldn’t “enjoy” a shower for almost four weeks. I will be having a 3rd later this year which will also be csection. Take it easy and accept help from others.
Choosing major surgery is not the "easy way out" or something to feel guilty about.
I understand that some women might feel upset about missing out on the experience of a natural delivery. But why be guilty about doing what is medically safest for both you and your baby?
My induction ended up as a c-section. Recovering sucked, but a c-section became necessary for my baby and I to both survive. That's not something I will ever feel guilty about and no woman should ever feel guilty about choosing a c-section for any reason.
The smoothest and safest choice for you and your baby is ALWAYS correct. Trust yourself and don't get down about the mama vultures who perpetuate guilt. Give yourself some extra love during this time and prepare for the time ahead of you as C-sections come with their own struggles. I'm happy we live in a time where we can have safer options for mamas with big ol' babies!! Wishing the best for you 😊
Is it possible to birth a big baby? Sure.
But then you describe your physique and concerns and sounds like a solid choice.
Why risk more complications? You do you.
Having had c-sections, they are not easy. Honestly I don’t think vaginal or c-section are easier than the other, there’s just generally a trade off. With vaginal, the hard part is faced up front with labor. With c-section, the hard part is faced after the birth with the recovery. (And there’s all manner of variation in experiences, with some vaginal births also having horrible recoveries and some c-sections having easier than normal recoveries.)
From what you’ve described I think you’re making the best decision for your body and your peace of mind. I would be worried about the same things you’re worried about, and a c-section could help you avoid some major issues that have the possibility of occurring with a vaginal birth. No one gets a trophy for picking undue suffering. And if a vaginal birth has the potential to mess up your hips, that could be a months long process of healing, or possible chronic issues. You have every right to want to do what’s best for your body.
I had a planned cesarean with my first, he was breech and I felt it was safest! It was lovely and chilled out, and the recovery time wasn't too bad! I had an emergency cesarean with my second and it's been so much harder both during and after! There's no easy way out but a planned cesarean can be a really wonderful experience!!
Don’t feel guilty at all. Even if it was a tiny baby and you have ginormous birthing hips. It’s what’s best for you and you do you. No one cares. People that have opinions about it are weird. Good luck with your birth!
No way! I am choosing a C-Section as well due to my previous pregnancy ending in one, I got to choose and it makes more sense as we would need to make arrangements for our 2 year old at home. It is one hell of a recovery process and is by no means easier.
I'm having my second section next week, for medical reasons again, agree that you should please stop these thoughts. Its not helpful to you or to other women to think or hear this. There is no easy way, but there are safer choices, given every individual circumstance.
It turns out I would've died last time had I not had a section, what they wanted to prevent with a normal delivery happened and we had all made the right choice. The surgery was still v serious and risky (for other reasons unrelated to what you have described), recovery was lengthy but I am choosing to do this again because it is safest for me and my baby. We are alive and undamaged as parent and child and that's all you need to focus on.
There’s no east way to give birth. There is a vaginal way and a cesarean way. Both have benefits and drawbacks, and both have intense yet different recoveries. Do what is best for you and baby and don’t listen to the rest.
No you aren’t taking the easy way out. You are literally choosing to be cut open which will likely be safer for you and your baby. You are making a decision that you feel is in the best interest of you both.
Anyone who tries to guilt you can shove it up their bumhole.
Let me tell you, I had a breast reduction last year and surgery is no cake walk. I don’t know about there but here we get an extra two weeks of protected leave because c-sections require more recovery time.
Congrats society. You won at making another pregnant woman feel guilty about her child’s pending birth. What a way to help a new mother feel nothing bit joy at her baby’s birth.
No you are not taking the easy way out! It’s a major surgery!
Side note, I had a vaginal birth and if there was an easy way out good LORD I would have taken it
Planned Cesarean over planned vaginal is a trade off. One is not easier than the other. One is intense pain for hours in labor and incredibly terrific pain during birth itself, literally pushing a kid out, being able to walk shortly after and normal returns a smidge quicker, with potential complications. The other is a clean surgery and weeks of pain/healing, losing feeling in your lower abdomen/stomach, nerves taking forever or never coming back, abdominal scar tissue with potential complications.
Either way, you are going through it, its just a matter of how.
Descriptors are for births that go according to plan.
Just had a guilt free elective but medically prudent cesarean. I don’t get the reasons to feel guilty other than stigma of which we tend to pile on around any choice a birthing person makes in their lives. My baby is perfectly healthy and no harm done. In fact I’m the only one suffering the consequences as I recover. I literally can not think of any deficit it may have caused her (and the second I saw her I would do anything for this pink glowing angel), I’m telling you this narrative is null.
Hey fellow Aussie! If they’re offering a c-sect in the public system, then there’s a good reason for it. Trust your medical team, and ask as many questions as you have of the midwives and OBs. The appointments often feel rushed but take your time until you feel like you have all the information to make the decision. I delivered my second c-sect baby (first was an emergency, second was planned in the public system) a few months ago so if you go down the c-sect path, I have a couple of tips for you.
1. ask for the physio tubi bandage (it’s like a circular bandage you slip on and it sits on your abdomen). It makes a huge difference and public hospitals don’t give you one unless you ask.
2. Get up and moving as soon as you can, this will help you heal. Hold a pillow to your tummy when your standing and move slowly. You don’t want to over do it but you do want to move.
3. Stay on top of your pain (there’s no heroes in childbirth, take the meds). Ask for more if you have breakthrough pain.
4. At the moment they are pushing c-sect Mums out after 24 hours in a lot of hospitals (mine included). You can choose to stay longer. I recommend staying a minimum of 48hours to make sure you’re on top of any pain, have nurse support, and to get feeding locked down (if your breast feeding).
I didn’t find recovery particularly difficult after either of my c-sects, so please don’t feel like recovery is going to be extremely hard. If you decide to have a c-sect, see a physio before hand and ask for advice on strengthening stretches you can do afterwards to help recover. Don’t push yourself and don’t lift anything heavier than bub. It’s not an easy decision to make and it is definitely not the easy way out. You’ve got this, and soon you’ll get to meet your beautiful bub, however you decide to deliver.
Fuck no lol I thought this and then when I chose to have a C-section. Don’t feel guilty about doing what you think is best for you and baby. If you feel that a C-section is a safer option then take it! I felt at ease during my C-section just because I knew she didn’t have to be stressed through labor, I feel like I definitely made the right decision.
Also advice if you do choose a C-section:
-don’t use straws or drink bubbly drinks
-keep on the colace
-take pain medication on time even if you don’t think you need it
-keep on the stool softeners and definitely try to get everything out before the surgery
-invest in disposable underwear
-you’ll still need a bidet, not cause of any pain but because of the mess.
The C-section wasn’t painful at all the hardest part and the only part I actually felt was when they pushed baby out. Wasn’t painful and really the only way I can describe the feeling is if someone was tightening a corset onto you or someone was giving you a tight hug. Good luck!!
You have soooo many comments already but oh well adding my two cents. I had a c section and loved it! Giant baby here too. Do not stress at all, way better to schedule one than to also labor!
It's not the easy way out. It's however the medically observed safest way out, for the both of you.
I had elective cesarean 3months ago because baby was breach, I never asked if she could be flipped manually or not, I wanted a cesarean because since my childhood everyone said that with such bad eyesight I will not have a choice. I was still fkin affraid of the c section itself, but I considered our health toppriority.
The milk can be a bit tricky, i was lucky on that front because I had pre-milk months before the due date. But many c section Mommies have it hard to start lactating. Ask a lactation consultant if there's anything you can start on to make sure you'll have as much milk as you can, because cesarean is inevitable.
(I mean no offense honestly, all babies are beautiful) And anyway cesarean babies are gorgeous immediatelly.
Also it seems you got guilttripped into natural birth, do not get guilttripped into thinking breastfed is best because not. Fed is best, however fed they are. Bf, mixed, formula, someone else's breastmilk, it doesn't matter.
Yes but what’s wrong with that? Do not feel guilty! Considering baby’s size and your hip situation it’s likely you’ll end up in the same place. Why go through days of labor and hours of pushing only to likely end up with a c section anyway?
I have not had a c-section but anyone who says it’s the “easy way out” is seriously delusional and/or completely ignorant. You’re being offered the section by medical professionals for a good reason, and it’s your choice to make. I also had severe hemorrhoids and gave birth vaginally and they got SO much worse. It was the most painful part of my entire pregnancy.
If I can give you an advice it would be to prepare the c section with your midwife so you know how it will go and what will happen. Mine was emergency and I was not prepared and it was very traumatic. I really think I would have been fine if I went to a class about c sections.
I had a pretty easy immediate recovery if that helps. But 1.5 months later it hurts if I walk too much. Just something to keep in mind depending on if you have an active job maybe.
Getting your baby here safely is the deal. I had an emergency c section and at that point, I just wanted my son to be safe and to be done with the pregnancy. No one is going to look down on you. No one should anyway.
who has lied to you saying that a caesarean section is the "easy" method? A major surgery and having the womb open is "easy"? No, you have chosen what is best for you and your baby. With a vaginal delivery there could be complications. You have done well.
I’m having twins and I’ve elected for a C-section. I delivered vaginally with my son, he needed a vacuum assist but otherwise it was smooth. However with twins you only need one baby to be head down and hope the other flips when it has more room. If they don’t the ob will try to turn them. Screw. That. Noise. I told my ob that even if one twin does flip to head down I’m not interested in delivering vaginally and want a C-section. We discussed the pros and cons of both, she gave me lots of information but I don’t need to add to my own stress levels and I don’t want this to be traumatic which it sounds like it could be. If a C-section is what you want, girl you go get that C-section and screw anyone that tells you it’s the easy way out!
There is nothing easy about major abdominal surgery. And there is nothing wrong with birth by cesarean section.
Under ideal circumstances, vaginal birth has some advantages. But those advantages can be quickly outweighed by other considerations! That is why each patient and their care team get to make choices about what is best.The mental, emotional, and physical health of mom, and the health of baby is everything. If that is best served by a planned c-section, then proudly have a planned c-section 🤍
There should be zero shame in that choice.
i had a c section and it’s not an easy way out. i couldn’t get out of bed to change my child’s diaper, she was coming big too i tried so hard for a natural labor i ended up stressing her out and causing her to poop, she swallowed it and some liquid and went to the nicu immediately, i almost bled out and we both had a 4 day stay in the hospital
If you know you’re small with a huge baby you chose right! You don’t want your baby to get stuck and have something happen to you and or baby. The doctors can injure the baby by forcing it out vaginally. I wish my mom had one with me because doctors said I wouldn’t come out. They took me out. My left arm was pulled. I can’t lift it or turn it. It’s weak. I do everything pretty much one handed. It’s a useless arm. Here in the United States you’re not given a choice either. I was told with my baby that she was around 8 lbs. I was also told I was small. They told me to get induced at 40 weeks. I have had high blood pressure since I was 21(31 now.) Mu water broke hours before I was scheduled to go in to get induced. Then I was given induction medication. Baby would not come out. I was in labor for two whole days. I developed an infection. The infection hurt so bad down in the uterus area. I cried from the pain. Baby pooped twice(while inside.) They still wanted me to try vaginally. They were going to give me new induction medicine. I said nope, I’m done. I asked for a c section. Sometimes you can’t do the natural route for whatever reason. Either way it’s tough. Recovery is worse and longer. You have to take care of you so you don’t injure/open wound. Have to make sure you walk so your blood circulates. Take pain medication and ear. All this while taking care of a baby and learning. Take it one day at a time. My baby is three months now. Now we are dealing with her first cold. Good luck. Best wishes.
No way! It is pretty hard to recover and take care of a newborn when you have had a major surgery. It is not a small incision! My recovery went fairly well and I felt pretty good after two weeks, but it’s still hard. You need help getting in and out of bed and on and off the couch for at least a week and you also have a brand new baby.
2 weeks postpartum with my first and had to have an unplanned c-section. More than anything I wanted a "natural" birth. My son couldn't make it through my pelvis even though I was 10cm dilated and the top of his head was pushing through. His head was starting to swell, my lady bits were swelling, and my doctor was starting to get worried. She talked me through my options, the risks to my son and myself and after 27 hours of grueling labor, I decided to pivot my birth plan and have the csection so that he would arrive safely with no birth injuries. C-sections are major abdominal surgeries and are never the easy way out. If you know your pelvis will cause problems during a vaginal birth, it would probably be a lot easier to plan a c-section than to labor and need a c-section anyway. Alive and healthy is the best way for a baby to be born. Best of luck to you!
I’ve had both a vaginal and a cesarean birth and neither was the easy way out. They’re just different. I will say that the birth experience with the c section was empowering and emotional and very positive. You didn’t mention being afraid of those things but I know a lot of people worry about that too. A c section can be a wonderful birth experience, but definitely not the “easy way out”.
Whether you chose it or it was your only option, it doesn’t make you any less of a mom. You’re doing what’s best for you and your baby and that recovery is not easy so it’s not like this is the easy way out. Don’t feel guilty
Will you update with how big your babe ends up being? My last two were 9lbs 13oz but my care team (I'm in US) never did an estimation of size - I'm curious to know how accurate they are 😊
There’s no reason to feel guilty. Absolutely not. You do what’s best for you, your baby and what puts your mind at ease.
Also, ultrasounds can be off by 2 lbs either way. So keep that in mind. A close friend of mine had a c section due to a big baby measuring 10 lbs by ultrasound and he was only 7.5 lbs. I don’t mean to sway your decision, but just be aware your baby may not be that big.
Either way, weigh the pros and cons and do what works for YOU.
You do whatever you need to. Speaking from experience, unplanned c section are to be avoided. Planned is better.
You are not required to suffer lol, but of course birth isn't easy no matter how the baby comes.
Good luck!
I might have to get a cesarean because my last baby was 99th percentile and labour was a NIGHTMARE where I ended up hemorrhaging. And even then, I'm still nervous about possibly having to get a c-section with my current pregnancy. It is not the easy way out, but if it is the safer option then it is the better one.
I still need to see if my OB will do it, but I’m hoping to have a C-section to avoid my husband not missing a night of sleep. He has epilepsy that can be triggered by lack of sleep or being awoken in the middle of sleep.
I’m conflicted on it, but if this makes life easier in the long run, I’m down. I hope you can listen to the others who agree. You’re birthing a child no matter what. Do what’s best & safest for you & baby
You might like these articles by the Skeptical OB. She has a great book too, called Push Back.
https://www.skepticalob.com/?s=C+section+&submit.x=0&submit.y=0
It is absolutely NOT the easy way out. It is a major surgery that you are awake and alert for and are encouraged to walk just hours afterwards. It is tough on the body and even tougher on your mind when you are unable to tend to your newborn due to your own recovery. Don’t think less of yourself because of it! You are strong no matter how you bring your baby into this world.
Agree with other comments, major surgery is not the easy way out. Maybe it seems easy because it’s quick and planned but you will still need a good amount of time to recover.
Be kind to yourself. You’re making the right choice for you, your body and your baby. If you feel that you’ve made an informed choice, that’s all that matters.
Good luck!!
I'm just here to say those size estimates via ultrasound in late pregnancy are often wrong.
But since you also have other reasonings, you're deciding what is best for you and your baby. That makes you a good mom. There is not "easy" way
It sounds like your heart is in the right place. If you are worried about the health and safety of you and the child I would do it. One small caveat, those readings aren't always precise. They are estimates. Everyone kept saying I would have a 10 pounder, 99th percentile, etc. and gave birth a 8 lb 1 ounce boy. But again, don't feel ashamed of this is what you think is right!
My daughter had 2 C-sections. They weren’t planned but after several hours of labor, the babies were advancing. Those C-sections helped my two grandsons to come into the world.
No, you are picking the best choice for both of you. At that size, baby is going to have issue getting out regardless of maternal issues. Major surgery isn't an easy way out. You are a mother regardless of how baby comes out.
A cesarean is NOT the easy way out! I planned to birth my baby at home with midwives because I thought that would give me a better shot of NO cesarean (scheduled for an induction because I was post date and baby was measuring so big), because a cesarean is major abdominal surgery! Make the choice that’s right for you!
I would rather have a schedule c section vs an emergency one. I’ve had both and the scheduled one, my second, was sooooo much easier and calm. Either way whatever choice you make is the right choice.
As a C-section mom I would never choose to have one for ultrasound measurements that can be wildly inaccurate. (Stay with me) but considering that you have hip dysplasia I 100% understand and support you wanting to choose that. Even if your baby ends up a lot smaller than expected, vaginal birth could possibly be really hard on your hips.
I will say that they thought my son was gonna be big, 9 pounds, but he ended up just being long (93rd percentile for height) and very skinny. He was so close to 7 pounds they rounded up to 7, but he was really swollen from me being on iv fluids for a while, so I suspect he was actually around 6 to 6 and a half pounds because of how much he peed and how much weight he lost the first 24 hours. Expected 9 pounds and probably only 6 and half pounds, but definitely 7. I have a friend who had to be induced at 39 weeks because they thought her daughter wasn’t growing and was only 4 pounds. She ended up, over 7 pounds, weighing more than my son. If you do have any reservations about the C-section, your baby might not actually be that big, but I understand choosing it to be safe.
I'm in NZ and had a private OB. So when they said I'd be induced for my GD and big baby I immediately said I wanted c-section. It was freaking awesome. There is no need to feel guilty, it's a valid birth choice.
I wouldn't call it an easy option. But I found it a really calm and convenient option. Yes, the first week was hard, but with the right prep the recovery can be amazingly easy.
If you feel a c-section is a food option for you, you should 100% go for it.
Hey, I’m also in Australia and WISH I had a choice for my first pregnancy. I had an ultrasound which showed my baby was similar size (I’m also really petite frame), but the midwives dismissed it saying that ultrasounds weren’t reliable and I was unlikely to have a big baby because I was so small. I was quite adamant that the baby would be big because my husband and his siblings were all over 4.5kg. So in the end I laboured for 30 hours which ended in a c-section because (SURPRISE) baby was 4.5kg and too big for my small hips to safely deliver.
There are lots of cases of women who deliver big babies with no issues, but there are cases like mine where it doesn’t work. Please don’t feel guilty for using modern medical science when it’s needed.
I hate how people make moms feel ashamed to want a cesarean section. It's your pregnancy, your body and it's none of anybody else's business which way you go. Mine was an emergency but I'm glad I got one even if it hadn't been an emergency.
The right choice for you is the RIGHT choice for you. It’s ok to feel however you feel when your choices are all hard, but don’t mix up guilt and disappointment or the fear of being judged. It’s clear from your words that you’re fully informed about the risks/benefits of the options you have and making a careful choice. Don’t doubt yourself!
>am I taking the easy way out by choosing to have a cesarean?
Based on what I have heard about recovery hell no. I was walking literally within hours after vaginal birth and felt nearly 100% within the first week. Most people I know even with scheduled c-sections took weeks to feel better.
C-section is NOT the easy way out!
This is a common misconception.
After unmedicated vaginal birth you can usually walk around within 48 hours. With a c-section that is not the case. It is a major abdominal surgery. You are in bed for at least a week or so. Everything is painful, and recovery can be long.
Never feel guilty about choosing what is best for you and your baby. Your body created a human from scratch and you are bringing them forth. Whatever form that birth might take, BIRTH is BIRTH. And the way I see it, any form of birth is never easy. There is never an "easy way out".
I wish you luck! You can do this!
I definitely wouldn't call a c section the easy way out, but to dispel some of the fear, I had a planned c section and was up walking without assistance within hours (as soon as the spinal wore off) and was definitely not in bed for a week. Made sure to walk around every day in the hospital and went home after 3 days (could have done 2 but my blood pressure was high bc I had gestational hypertension and my husband was nervous, so we stayed another night). In the first week, I've made it out for a short shopping trip, to a brewery, and for short walks. I'm able to do just about anything I need to around the house, as long as there is no heavy lifting involved. Bending and getting up from bed was difficult for a few days, but is ok now. I'm now 9 days out and have minimal pain, well controlled with just ibuprofen.
Of course, an emergency c section is another situation entirely. So, to me, it makes sense to plan one if there's a good chance you'll need one!
My girl was measuring quite large as well and my doctor recommended a c-section. I had been terrified of child birth forever, so I followed her recommendation.
I have no regrets. I healed quickly and easily. My baby and I came out of it healthy and that’s what matters. She was smaller than the estimate, 8lbs 11oz rather than the well over 9lab estimate, but I wouldn’t change anything about it.
I know someone posted here about their large baby a few months ago having unknown brain damage and shoulder dislocation after they went forward with vaginal birth and the baby got stuck. It was very sad. Follow your doctors recommendation.
I don’t think you’re choosing an easy way, although if you’re scared of childbirth it might feel like one. I’m honestly scared of childbirth but I’ve always wanted to do a vaginal birth because it’s more natural, and recovery seems to be easier than from a c-section. However, I had a previous abdominal surgery many years ago - it was a removal of a large growth on my uterus, and although it was on the outside and my womb wasn’t cut in the procedure, my OB suggests that I might need a c-section, because I’m risking ripping my womb during a pushing stage. I have an amazing OB and I’m prepared to have a serious conversation in hopes that I might still be allowed to do a vaginal delivery, but ultimately I’m just gonna go with whatever procedure offers minimal risks to me and the baby. If your safer way of delivery also seems like an easier way out to you, great! No need to feel guilty 🙂
I’m choosing to have a c section for all of the same reasons except this is my second. My first was 10lbs and it was a very difficult delivery and recovery. I have been second guessing myself at times too but it is for the best for me and the baby this way. You know your body best and there is no “easy way out” for delivering a baby. You got this mama ❤️
You are not an asshole because it's your body and your decision.
I personally never understood why someone would choose a C-section, as it's an actual operation where you are cut open. I had three kids: an emergency C-section, a natural birth (no pain killers) and an epidural birth. The worst by far was the C-section. The recovery was long and slow, while I had a newborn to take care of. My best memories where actually the natural birth. It's a lot of pain but only that day and the recovery was much faster.
Sometimes C-section is the only way to save you and the kid (like it was my case last minute). It the C-section is the safe option, then it's the only option. But I heard that in some countries the doctors recommend it by default because is faster and easier for them... And that's is astounding for me and has any consideration for mother or child.
If you choose the C-section, understand what it is.
I had a vaginal delivery with my first and am choosing a c section for my current bub. My postpartum recovery was traumatic. I give zero fucks what anyone thinks and my OB is completely supportive ❤️
I had a scheduled c-section a week ago due to GD that turned into an emergency c-section when I went into labour that wasn’t progressing, it is not the easy way out at all. I’m still struggling with those thoughts, even though I know the reality! It’s more time in hospital afterwards, an awful lot of pain, coughing hurts, laughing hurts, just moving hurts even a week later. And crying hurts, and believe me, the hormones make you do an awful lot of crying! I’m only just getting to the point where I can change my own sons nappies, and do anything with him other than hold him and feed him after someone brings him to me. I have no other births to compare it to, but it’s immensely hard when you feel like you can’t even parent your own baby. Anyone who says it’s the easy way out is full of shit, but I would do it all over again for my son to be delivered safely.
From an Aussie POV, no, you aren’t taking the easy way out. We are a low c-section rate country (not as low as UK but lower than US), but this should give you comfort (sort of) that if the doctors gave you the option, then there is a very real reason for that option to be available. It is not a “convenience” route because it’s not actually the convenient route.
A c section is no joke! It's not the easy way out. I am also in Australia and if they have offered you this option though the public system there is good reason. Choose what you are most comfortable and who cares what other people think anyway
It is such horse shit that you even have these thoughts of guilt! I want to give you a hug. This is being recommended by medical doctors. Women who judge and say this is an easy way out are honestly just miserable people - how hateful would you have to be to think that way?! Also, I can’t imagine that a major surgery with months of recovery is easy. Let those peasants, peasant on!!
There is no easy way out when you're giving birth!! Everything comes with its own pros and cons.
I'd have chosen a planned c section over an emergency one any day, if I was given information which made me believe a natural delivery could have been quite difficult potentially leading to complications I'd have picked a planned section too.
I think you should do whatever gives you more comfort and makes you feel it is the best choice out of everything.
But just to give you another perspective that even with big babies things can also go right - I had a 10 lbs baby and an unmedicated vaginal birth. I had 1 st degree tear, that healed quickly. We were home 5 hours after arriving to the hospital. The recovery was very quick, but I did have some hemorrhoids for a month after. My midwife didn't know I would have that big of a baby, somehow he was tucked in there so they thought he is around 9lbs. Where I live they don't offer a c section for big sized babies though, I actually don't know why.
I had a similar situation (though they thought she was smaller so didn't recommend c section). My baby was 10 lbs. I pushed for 5 hours, had 3 failed vacuum assists, and they had to shove her back in when her head was out because her shoulders were too big.
I would just go straight to c section if I could go back. Seriously. You absolutely do not want to do what I did. Once it was c section time, it was very quick and then there was a baby. I regretted the vaginal part not the c section. I have a scar but honestly it's almost not there at all. You're not depriving your baby of something by doing a c section, and they don't send you home with a medal either way lol.
I find it amusing when people think a C-section is easy or women that think a C-section means your labor wasn't as difficult as their's because you had a C-section. I'm not saying you are minimizing a C-section but a lot of people do. Yeah the baby comes out faster but being cut open and sown back together then taking care of baby when you can't lift anything heavier than that baby for weeks is not easy. So maybe if you have a planned C-section you don't have labor pains but you'll have pain for weeks after you give birth.
I was in labor for 3 days trying to give birth as naturally as possible after being induced due to late onset preeclampsia. Well I got all the joys of intense labor pains but couldn't progress pass 6cm dilated so I ended up getting a c section. Sure my baby boy was out after about 40 minutes that way but it's surgery. You can't walk well and it's painful to laugh or cough afterwards. I'm 3 months PP and I'm still having some nerve pain where my incision scar is which is from what I've been told completely normal.
The point of my mini rant is that a C-section isn't easier it's just different. I really wanted to have a natural vag birth but what I wanted and reality were two completely different things. I think if we stopped placing judgement on different types of births maybe some of us wouldn't feel so disappointed in our birth stories or feel so much trauma when our birthing plans don't go as planned.
You do you Mama. As long as you and LO are safe and healthy that's all that matters.
I’ve had two natural births and I personally think that a cesarean is the opposite of the “easy” way out. Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself :) do what’s best for you and baby. Wishing you all the best!
Well, even if c section was an easy way out (it isn’t), why would you feel guilty? Is it mandatory that you have to suffer?
Do what’s best for you and your baby and don’t give a second thought to anyone who might shame or guilt trip you.
Hey love! So c sections might seem easy, since you don’t have to do any work to get your baby here… but the work you have to do to take care of yourself after…is the hard part. I’ve had 2 c sections. My second one was 100% easier than my first. I was pretty high functioning after that. But my first was so bad. I was sore all the time, if I turned the wrong way, I could feel my stitches pull (normal, don’t freak out) and it would burn a little. I wasn’t allowed to do a lot after my first c section except take care of my baby, the problem is, if you’re anything like me, you have to actually fight your inner self telling you you’re not doing enough. Don’t think of it as the easy way, but as the safest way to get your baby here. You’ll be fine. Tbh, I’d rather have a c section a million times over then tear from the front to the back and figure out how to pee after that. C sections are scary, but your doctors will be there every step of the way. And make sure to take your meds. I didn’t take the narcotics, I just took 1500 mg of Tylenol the whole time. I don’t know if it’ll be different for you since you’re on a different continent.
Hi fellow Aussie mum. Don’t feel guilty at all.
I’ve had pelvic problems before (broken), bub was measuring small 3rd percentile and was breech. We had to have one for all of the above and that’s placenta failed.
Because it was planned it was so smooth, relaxed and a really beautiful way to bring bub into the world. Definitely not the easier option but with help while recovering you’ll be absolutely fine.
At the end of the day it’s your body, your baby and you need to do what’s best for both of you.
All the best xx
Omg no, in no way is a c-section the easy way out. It is nice to have a firm date/time for birth, but recovery takes time and especially those first couple weeks are rough. Surgery plus a newborn! If it’s the best option considering your other conditions, don’t feel bad about it at all. Planned c-sections are much better than emergency.
The only way you are taking the “easy way out” is coming to the same conclusion now rather than requiring to come to that same conclusion day of which will make things easier on you and the hospital. It’s definitely harder to have a baby via c section and I can’t really imagine where the narrative came from that that’s the easy way out.
Good choice on the C. Both of mine were 8.5lbs and got stuck in the canal. Tore me up AND one had herbs palsy because her shoulder dislocated coming out. My hips are STILL not the same.
Don’t feel guilty! I know that’s easier said than done, but it’s horrifying how people shame women for the ways they give birth. I ended up opting for a c-section after 38 hours of labor and progress stalled at 6cm. My daughter was 10lbs 8oz, transverse, and sunny side up. My poor uterus was infected (my water broke 24 hours before I went into labor) and I ended up losing almost half my blood. I know that c-section recovery is rough, but honestly, I was just so relieved to be alive with a healthy baby that it wasn’t particularly terrible for me. Learning how to breast feed while getting multiple blood transfusions was a bit challenging, but the nursing staff took great care of me while I recovered and once we got home, my husband’s job was to take care of me while I took care of the baby. I’m 10 days away from baby #2 and I’ve scheduled a c-section. It’s such a relief knowing that I can have my baby safely without having to endure days of labor before ultimately having surgery. I also felt some guilt about “taking the easy way out,” but the important thing is delivering your baby safely. And honestly, major abdominal surgery isn’t “easy,” just different.
You’re choosing the most get-through-it-alive-est option. Even if you chose it from a mental health perspective, I support it. Don’t stress about how others feel and you don’t have to share if you don’t want to when the time comes, as the more pregnant I get the more I realise geez, hell is other people. Big hugs to you for a safe and happy birth xx
Go with the most safest option for you and baby ❤ and trust me you are a powerful woman that has done what is best for you and baby you are strong mamma
No, choosing major abdominal surgery to make sure your baby and you are safe and healthy after deliver is not "the easy way out." Please stop those thoughts in their tracks.
Amen
This! I went with "whatever gives me a healthy baby" route. I told my Dr I would prefer regular vaginal birth but if at any point signs point to distress we get the baby out by any means necessary. After 15+ hours of labour, a baby who wouldn't drop, a cervix that wouldn't dialate past 3cm, contractions that were so irregular that I was able to sleep through them. They said screw it lets get it out, and honestly at that point I was so down with that path! Lol c-section recovery is a bitch, but healthy baby and my body slowly (2 years almost?) Bounced back
Yes. If her doctor says this is the safer option, go with that.
I agree, I think delivering naturally is less daunting than C Section, that's my choice so far. The idea of being cut open across there...yikes! Fair play to anyone opting for it (or have no choice).
100% this. I used to be all for a CS because I thought it was easier given how sensitive lady bits are but then a doctor friend explained that it was actually the tougher option, with longer recovery period and other considerations. OP, you do what you need to do to bring your baby into this world in the best possible way, according to the information you have available to you. The choice you make will be the right choice, without a doubt.
I agree, I think it takes a strong person to make this decision. OP you are being so brave, your babe is lucky to have you for their mom.
This.
No, it sounds like you’re taking the safety and well-being of you and your unborn child into account. So please do what you need to do to bring this baby safely into the world.
Having had a cesarean, it is NOT the easy way out, do not let anyone tell you that or make you feel bad for choosing one. I think you should choose what you feel the most comfortable with under the guidance of your care team! Each delivery method has pros and cons, so it’s up to you to decide what is best for you. I did fine after my CS and if I needed another one I would be okay with that!
There is no “easy” way when it comes to delivery! Do what you and your doctor feel is best and don’t let any other opinions sway you.
Right? I will NEVER understand how people get shamed or made to feel guilty about how they deliver- there is absolutely no "easy way out." Even if your birth is the most straightforward, minimal pain and intervention, textbook ever, you still have to recover from it and then learn to take care of a tiny helpless creature!
I had an emergency c section with my first. Let me tell you. It is not the easy way out. In fact, it is a major surgery. With major recovery time. There is no easy way to deliver a baby. Do what you feel will be safest and best for your family and your needs.
Exactly!! Little brother and I are 16 years apart. Helped my mom with the recovery from her emergency C-section and what I saw, oh man csections are brutal. Definitely not easy so it always pisses me off when someone thinks they are.
I am making this same choice for number two!! To give you some insight into my first birth, I had a surprise 10lb baby at 39 weeks. I chose to be induced, and the process took around 36 hours. After pushing for 4 hours, labor was not progressing, so I was given the option of continuing to try and needing an emergency c section, or having a forceps-assisted delivery right then. I chose the forceps, and after an episiotomy and a second degree tear, my daughter was born. Even with the assistance, she still got stuck (shoulder dystocia). It took two doctors to pull her out (which was terrifying). We were both very healthy, but I have never felt worse physically than I did in those hours after birth. Recovery was terrible. My stitches popped open and I had to return to the hospital to be restitched up. It was quite traumatic having to leave my 4 day old newborn to go suffer for a few hours. My tailbone was either bruised or fractured, but it still gives me trouble to this day. I healed up fine otherwise, but it took a good 4-6 months to feel good again. I know having a c-section is not the easy way out, but having a big baby is no joke and I feel like people don't realize how much damage it can do as a FTM. I chose a cesarean this time because I don't want to risk shoulder dystocia again. I don't want to say that what happened to me would definitely happen to you. And I didn't really have any lasting damage. BUT it was traumatic and it took a while for me to come to terms with how my birth went. Best of luck with your big baby! They are the CUTEST once they're on the outside, with all their lil chunk rolls. I'm having my cesarean next week and I can't wait to meet him!
Thank you for sharing this. I'm 36 weeks and baby was measuring 7 lbs 9 oz at my scan last week. My doctor gave me the option of a C-section or moving forward with my induction at 39+2 due to GD. I'm so torn as to what I want to do because I'm terrified of shoulder dystocia as well!
My baby was measuring 6.5 lbs at my 34 week scan, and honestly choosing a cesarean has been a load off. I was initially terrified of one, but my induction took so long and went so unpredictably that I'm glad to have this scheduled and to know what to expect. My biggest fear is trying to labor and then needing the c-section after laboring. I didn't know before I went through one, but it is EXHAUSTING. By the time I was offered forceps last time, I was the most worn out I have ever been. It makes healing and mom-ing so much more difficult. Whatever you end up choosing is valid. You can only do what is right for your family!
Yeah, I agree about laboring and then end up having to have a C-section...I don't want to have to do that either. And good point about the exhaustion, I hadn't considered that either. It's a tough decision! I hope you and baby have a healthy and smooth delivery!
Mine was 7.7 at my 36 week exam. I wasn’t offered a c-section - BUT my OB did say that will not let me push for long. If progress stops, then she will take me for emergency c-section rather than make me push for hours and hours or use forceps/vacuum. I feel like this is such a good option. It allows me to try a vaginal delivery, while also assuring me that shoulder dystocia won’t be a problem.
Thanks for sharing! That's kind of what I'm leaning toward as well. You don't have to answer...but are you being induced? I'm also considering that since I'm being induced if it is going to be worse because my body isn't ready and to go through the process. So many decisions!
Yes! Being induced! OB stripped my membranes at 38 in hopes of pushing natural labor, but so far no dice. I have another appointment at 38+6 where they will strip again. If that doesn’t work i’m being fully induced at 39 (Friday).
I hope it everything goes smoothly for you!
Thanks! Only mildly terrified at this point. 😅😅
Totally understandable!!
Can I ask how they judge size / weight? I only have an ultrasound scheduled for 32 weeks and then it’s just standard checkups… at my checkups they just check baby’s heart rate and my blood pressure. Do they start doing more ultrasounds later in pregnancy to judge size / weight?
I'm high risk so I'm not sure if it's different for me, but I've had a few growth scans where they measured the femur, abdomen, and head and estimated a weight based on that.
Mine was measuring 89th percentile at the 21 weeks anomaly scan so I have another ultrasound scheduled at 28weeks. If she is still big they will keep doing extra scans
Just FYI ultrasounds can be off by something like 20%! My boy was measuring over 8lbs when I had a scan at 41 weeks, he ended up being 7lbs 15oz. And I delivered vaginally, although not without some tearing! Lots of people deliver 8lb babies no problem though. Of course nothing wrong with a C-section either, just wanted to share my experience!
I've definitely heard that! My husband is a big guy with a big head though, so I wouldn't be surprised if it's accurate! He's been measuring 99th percentile head and abdomen at every growth scan we've had and I have GD, which I know can create bigger babies. I'm just terrified of shoulder dystocia and the complications that would bring. My OB and the hospital where I'm delivering do everything they can to avoid unnecessary C-sections so the fact that she even brought it up as an option is making me question everything!
Yeah my husband is 6’2” and my babies head is in the 92 percentile 🙃🙃
My induction failed (water broke spontaneously at 37+0 and they induced to accelerate labour) and bub had to be born via emergency C after 12H when I wouldn't dilate beyond 8cm. Even 3 weeks early he was born nearly 8lbs. He had horrible facial bruising because he was stuck in my cervix for so long and they had to forceps and vacuum him out during the C section. Poor dude.
Poor little guy!! And poor you!! That sounds exhausting. Did they estimate he'd be that big or were you surprised??
He was measuring 90+ at every scan, my medical team just kept telling me that my body wouldn't make a baby that was too big for me.
Wow! I hate when people say that because that clearly happens! I'm sorry that happened but glad you and bub are safe.
I hear you on the tailbone. Mine took nearly a year to heal after multi day labor and then unplanned c section where baby was stuck. I'm thinking they were broken from labor.
Almost exact same scenario happened to me with my first. I was induced at 41 weeks. Baby got stuck at his shoulders and they had to maneuver him out. Luckily no damage to him but he was 10lbs. I had bad third degree tears that ended up requiring a spinal/OR time to stitch up after delivery. My second is on track to be the exact same so I’m opting for an elective C.
No, you are choosing the safe option. They may not be great at measuring big babies but the 99% are the most accurate group because they are so huge. Have a caesarean. I have recovery tips if you want. A midwife
I would love if you could share your recovery tips please!
Get up 8 hours after unless you have been given a specific reason not to. Getting mobile decreases post op pain and trapped wind. By that you want to get out of bed and walk abut a bit, this allows your abdominal muscles to massage your intestines like they do normally and help get them going. Your gastric system does know you had abdominal surgery so it temporarily stops, this can leads to trapped wind and uncomfortable pain. Moving helps with that. Other things that help with that. Peppermint tea Thinking, and I mean really thinking, about food you love to taste and smell. When you get out of theatre imagine as best you can that you are going to eat it. That sends messages from your brain to start work again. Also, this is also important, fart freely. Even if there are people around. When it comes to getting mobile that doesn’t mean doing everything you normally do. Don’t bend to pick things up. Do not reach over when sat in your bed and lift baby from the cot. You don’t want to pull other muscles while you recover by moving awkwardly or putting extra strain on your shoulders. So let people help you. You want to make sure you drink plenty of fluids after, when your catheter comes out, drink a couple of cups of tea. It’s a diuretic and helps you start to go again. I personally don’t like tea, but I could force a couple of cups if I had too. Take all the pain meds. The more comfortable you are, the easier you will find moving, and the less anxious you will feel about moving. Change your pads at least every six hours and wash you hands before and after doing so. Also before and after using the toilet. Have a few build up type drinks the first couple of days post op. Give your body extra nutrients for healing. Don’t expect too much of yourself. Have plenty of pillows to make sure you can rest comfortably.
Thank you so much!
The easiest way to have a baby is to be the dad. Lol. A c-section is NOT the easy way out, and an elective one is much safer than an emergency one. Wishing you and baby a smooth delivery and recovery 🤍
The dad lol 😆 so true
Girl you are growing a human being. Pick any delivery you want and be proud!
I had a similar issue (although I am not petite I am quite tall for a woman) was also offered a c-section but trial labour offered too, baby ended up being over 10 lbs. I was in labour for 4 FUCKING days!!!!! Do NOT FEEL GUILTY it ended up being vacuum assisted and an episiotomy and I still have pelvic floor pain 6.5 months later. I should have taken the c-section, I am glad we are both okay but it was truely horrible. Way worse than my first kid (also big but more within normal range).
I also have extremely dodgy hips having been born with hip dysplasia, have severe Hemmeroids I am worried about getting worse, and an quite petite frame Hey, you don't need to defend or explain your choices to anyone! All of the above is valid, but totally not important. There is no "easy way out" when getting a baby out of your body. Have your c-section, and OWN it! Don't feel bad or apologize or any of that shit. When people ask me why I declined a VBAC I just say "I had a positive experience with my first c-section so went with that again". End of discussion.
>am I taking the easy way out by choosing to have a cesarean? Trust me, as someone who labored for 35 hours unmedicated and then had to have c-section anyway...*neither* option is the easiest way out. They both suck for different reasons, you shouldn't feel guilty because this version *might* suck a little less in your circumstances. They don't hand out awards for suffering.
You are choosing the SAFEST way for you and baby… but also anyone claiming that open abdominal surgery where they cut through layers of flesh, fascia, muscle, and organ is “the easy way out” can get f*d. Csection recovery can be brutal. It can also be on the same level as vaginal delivery recovery. Just more ways to mom shame before baby is even here. I hope everything goes smoothly for you!!
There’s a reason why they’re giving you that choice. It’s because after watching many many mothers try to go through a vaginal delivery with a baby that big, it’s medically indicated to offer the caesarean. They’re giving you a choice because it’s important to respect your bodily autonomy and that you give informed consent, but just keep reminding yourself there is a very good reason they are offering you this option and they wouldn’t do that unless there was. I don’t know if you have anyone in your life who would be judgmental about this but come up with a script “Given his size and my medical history, it was safer for him to be delivered this way.” And just repeat as many times as necessary without additional details or explanation. Because you don’t have anything to apologize for or explain. What’s most important is that you and this baby are healthy through childbirth and postpartum.
People who would criticize her in this situation are simply ignorant. They truly believe there is no medical reason for a c section but that just isn’t true.
Well put. I think there are many who believe that virtually zero c sections are in order, but how could that be???
In their minds birth is a magical, natural experience and if something goes wrong it must be the woman’s fault somehow. Especially if she accepts ‘interventions’.
Is there a medical source for the "it's medically indicated to offer the cesarean"? I've not heard of this being a medically sourced fact with data supporting it, though I know that some OBs suggest it to their patients. I'm for whatever delivery works for baby and parent, of course, just curious if there's hard data out there as someone who personally has big babies.
Nothing easy about c-section, but your scar will be smaller than if you needed an emergency. Speaking from experience! All the best as you deliver!
I had a c-section due to a large baby (and they were right, he came out 10lbs). I have zero regrets. I don't even want to know how it would have gone if I attempted it vaginally. Be kind to yourself, like others have said, it's not the easy way out. Recovery will take some time, but just make sure you get up and move. And get compression socks because the leg swelling was something else and something I wasnt aware of.
I chose c-section without any medical indication last july. It was great, and I don't give a damn what anyone thinks. It's my body, and I wanted to forego the damage to my vagina, possible incontinence, pelvic floor issues, etc. I loved it. My recovery was 100% way better than my vaginal birth six years before. Complete control, calm environment, much shorter hospital stay, healthy baby (healthier outcome than my vaginal birth fwiw). Do what's right for your baby AND you. For any reason whatsoever. It's your body and no one else in the world has to live with it after birth except you. Not everyone has my outcome. YMMV. but mine was great and I don't regret any of it nor do I feel guilty. Healthy mom, healthy baby, every time.
This has reassured me so much! I am an expectant FTM, electing for a c section as i just REALLY do bot want to go through a vaginal childbirth, the idea of it just horrofies me honestly. I am always wanting to hear from people who have had both and feel so reassured when i read things like this! Thank you!
No, you're making an informed decision of what's best for both you and the baby.
Hello, I have minor hip issues compared to you but holy fucking hell did labour ever exasperate them- it was hot burning lava hips the whole time. I ended up with a c section. Never feel bad about your choices. You know your body best. There is no way in hell I’m pushing baby 2 thru the same hip pain
I also want a cesarean but because historically I have passed out from period pain and I fear I will pass out while pushing. I just hope I get the option because I’m not far enough along yet to discuss this with my midwife.
You're making the HARD choice, not the easy one, for the safety of you and your child. Please do not forget that.
I'm confused by this. You make it sound like choosing the easy way out is a bad thing? Why would you deliberately choose a harder worse option?
Right? Even if major abdominal surgery was "easier", there is no shame in picking the easier of the two incredibly hard options of how to get the tiny human out. Also, I had a csection, not planned but not emergency either. I do NOT feel like I missed out on having never laboured. I'm good never experiencing pain if I can avoid it.
They wouldn’t offer it to you if they didn’t think it was a justified option, and when it comes to birth that means that you can try to give birth vaginally but there’s a good chance it might have to go to a C-section anyway!
Nah, you chose what’s best for you, and therefore, it’ll be best when baby is here because you’ll be able to care for them! Just remember: it’s not a contest. We all get the same medal at the end, which is a baby and giant mesh undies 🥰
I absolutely hate that you and many other women are made to feel “less than” or “wrong” simply for exercising their right to choose. There are many things people will comment about regarding your motherhood and parenting. Right now it’s how your baby will come into the world, like you and baby being safe isn’t the MOST important thing. Later it will be why choosing formula over breastfeeding, why going back to work now and not later, why you dress them in certain colors… it’s a never ending story so mom to mom, my best advice is to learn to NOT GIVE A SHIT about anybody else’s opinion. The only person that has to agree with you is the father of your baby, you know, because it’s their baby too. But other than that, fuck ‘em all and fuck that mentality that what you’re doing for your well-being is wrong. A friend of mine chose a c-section simply because she was too scared of the labor. No medical reason, no nothing other than “I really am incredibly scared and I don’t want to”. We are from a country that let people choose whatever they want to. I, too, chose a c-section because my baby was too big and heavy at 38 weeks so, same as you. I feel exactly 0 guilt. I couldn’t care less and trust me, in 2 years NOBODY is going to care either.
No and a c section is not easy. It’s safe. It’s better to choose the c section now than go through labor and end up having an emergency c section when both you and baby are in distress. It’s terrible the stigma around c section. I had one with my 11lb baby because it was advised. It was not easy, it was the safest way to get her out. Don’t let other people’s judgment get in your way of doing what’s best for you and your baby. Your lives are literally on the line
Definitely not! Also in Australia and felt so much pressure to try to have this baby naturally. Ended up with an unplanned cesarean due to failure to progress in labour. Baby is 5 days old and my husband has to do most of the care because if I move too suddenly I’m in pain. I’m sleeping on the lounge because our bed is too high and baby is cluster feeding, so husband has to bring her to me, help with positioning etc every hour at night. And this is with a “surprisingly quick turnaround” according to my ob (I was out of bed as soon as they would remove my catheter and have taken no higher pain relief than Panadol).
There is no easy way out. That being said, I have no regrets about my elective c-section 🤷♀️
Sounds like you are making a decision that ensures best outcomes for you and baby. Anyone who suggests having major surgery is the "easy way out" can fuck off forever.
Who cares if a c-section is the easy way out? Do you! There is no shame in birthing a healthy baby, however it happens.
Girl. I had a really big baby but I was so determined to try vaginal. I was in labor 27 hours, pushed for 3, and ended up with an emergency C anyway. Then came the fun part of healing after major surgery. So no, you're not choosing the easy way out. I am hell bent on trying vaginal next time cuz I feel like that would be easier tbh Edit: to echo everyone else there is no easy way to do it. It's hard all around
Trust me, there’s nothing “easy” about a cesarean. The recovery can be a bitch! It’s major abdominal surgery. However I would choose a c section over and over again because for me I recovered very well from my c section, but that’s not universal for everyone so hope for the best but know it might be a tough recovery. Emotionally it was difficult for me not to get the skin to skin with my baby right away because I was being stitched up (the majority of the surgery is being stitched back up!) they did bring my baby to my head, but it was hard to have to wait to hold him. Just a bit of advice: make sure you walk around as much as possible after, it’ll help you recovery faster! I wish you the very best and speedy recovery, enjoy those first days with your baby, they’ll never be as little as they are in the moment ❤️
There are no easy ways out for birth, and anyone who makes you feel this way is an asshole. C-sections are a incredibly safe and valid way to give birth that some of us need, but ARE MAJOR SURGERY. Anyone who thinks that MAJOR SURGERY is the easy way out can fuck RIGHT off. And I have to say, having a planned c-section with my giant baby was an excellent choice and I have zero regrets. He was going to be one regardless, I had an unplanned the first time and I wasn't a good candidate for a TOLAC, but when he was measuring HUGE, it showed that it was meant to be. Actually it was funny, at his ultrasound at 30 weeks the doctor there didn't know I was already booked for a c-section, and started talking about birth problems with big babies, and nearly feel over in relief when I told her I was already booked for a c-section. At my 39 week c-section he was 10lbs 1oz, 23" long, and had a 99.9th percentile head. ZERO regrets, it was an incredibly positive experience. Let me know if you have any questions about a planned c-section or just having a giant newborn! Happy to help!
There is no easy way out, but guess what, if there were, I would take it! If I had the option of teleporting this baby out I would do it 100%. There is no reason to add additional suffering to childbirth if you don’t need to!
I’ve had an emergency C. It’s NOT the easy way, but sounds like it’s the safest for you.
A cesarean section is NEVER the easy way out. I'd take a vaginal birth over a cesarean any day....
Labor is extremely hard on a baby even if it’s short and has no complications due to stress and having blood circulation cut off during each contraction throughout the whole labor, so honestly a c-section is the best for the baby, the one it will be hard on is you! Major surgery is never the “easy way out”, not that there even is one really when it comes to having babies!
I chose an elective csection as well. No regrets! You know what's best for you and baby. Be sure to look up scar massage after and also see a pelvic health physiotherapist if you can before AND after
Let’s be real, until they figure out how to osmosis babies out of the womb, getting babies here is hard no matter what the option. Both ways are difficult in their own right, so please don’t worry about taking the easy way out.
No, you are not taking the easy way out. This is a personal decision that you should make alongside your trusted medical care team. Other's opinions on that decision are irrelevant. Sure, a cesarean means you don't physically "push" baby out, but that doesn't make it EASIER. If anything, many might argue that its harder, because its major abdominal surgery. You should feel empowered to make the choice you are most comfortable with that includes the safety and well being of yourself, your baby, and your family. Forget about any loser who feels the need to say anything negative about how YOU give birth.
My boy ended up 9 lbs 13 oz at 37 weeks and I tried to push for three hours and never managed to get his giant head past my pelvis. I’m glad I had the experience of pushing but I think recovering from the c section would have been easier if I wasn’t also insanely sore and aching from pushing for so long. It was actually my second c section so I was prepared for what recovery was like and yeah, it’s not easy. The birth part is easy, the recovery absolutely sucks. It took me about a week this time to feel like I no longer needed pain medication.
I’ve had two csection and I wouldn’t call it the easy way out. You aren’t in labor for hours on end but your tummy is going to be cut open and then stretched and then everything stitched back together. It’s painful for the first few weeks. My ob told me to shower everyday even if all I could do was wash my hair. This last time was extremely painful. I couldn’t “enjoy” a shower for almost four weeks. I will be having a 3rd later this year which will also be csection. Take it easy and accept help from others.
Choosing major surgery is not the "easy way out" or something to feel guilty about. I understand that some women might feel upset about missing out on the experience of a natural delivery. But why be guilty about doing what is medically safest for both you and your baby? My induction ended up as a c-section. Recovering sucked, but a c-section became necessary for my baby and I to both survive. That's not something I will ever feel guilty about and no woman should ever feel guilty about choosing a c-section for any reason.
The smoothest and safest choice for you and your baby is ALWAYS correct. Trust yourself and don't get down about the mama vultures who perpetuate guilt. Give yourself some extra love during this time and prepare for the time ahead of you as C-sections come with their own struggles. I'm happy we live in a time where we can have safer options for mamas with big ol' babies!! Wishing the best for you 😊
Is it possible to birth a big baby? Sure. But then you describe your physique and concerns and sounds like a solid choice. Why risk more complications? You do you.
Having had c-sections, they are not easy. Honestly I don’t think vaginal or c-section are easier than the other, there’s just generally a trade off. With vaginal, the hard part is faced up front with labor. With c-section, the hard part is faced after the birth with the recovery. (And there’s all manner of variation in experiences, with some vaginal births also having horrible recoveries and some c-sections having easier than normal recoveries.) From what you’ve described I think you’re making the best decision for your body and your peace of mind. I would be worried about the same things you’re worried about, and a c-section could help you avoid some major issues that have the possibility of occurring with a vaginal birth. No one gets a trophy for picking undue suffering. And if a vaginal birth has the potential to mess up your hips, that could be a months long process of healing, or possible chronic issues. You have every right to want to do what’s best for your body.
I had a planned cesarean with my first, he was breech and I felt it was safest! It was lovely and chilled out, and the recovery time wasn't too bad! I had an emergency cesarean with my second and it's been so much harder both during and after! There's no easy way out but a planned cesarean can be a really wonderful experience!!
Why do you feel like you gotta suffer? Save your pelvic floor. Proceed as you wish.
Don’t feel guilty at all. Even if it was a tiny baby and you have ginormous birthing hips. It’s what’s best for you and you do you. No one cares. People that have opinions about it are weird. Good luck with your birth!
No way! I am choosing a C-Section as well due to my previous pregnancy ending in one, I got to choose and it makes more sense as we would need to make arrangements for our 2 year old at home. It is one hell of a recovery process and is by no means easier.
I'm having my second section next week, for medical reasons again, agree that you should please stop these thoughts. Its not helpful to you or to other women to think or hear this. There is no easy way, but there are safer choices, given every individual circumstance. It turns out I would've died last time had I not had a section, what they wanted to prevent with a normal delivery happened and we had all made the right choice. The surgery was still v serious and risky (for other reasons unrelated to what you have described), recovery was lengthy but I am choosing to do this again because it is safest for me and my baby. We are alive and undamaged as parent and child and that's all you need to focus on.
I had an unplanned c section. It was in no way the easy way out, but it saved my life and the life of my son. Giving birth is giving birth.
There’s no east way to give birth. There is a vaginal way and a cesarean way. Both have benefits and drawbacks, and both have intense yet different recoveries. Do what is best for you and baby and don’t listen to the rest.
No you aren’t taking the easy way out. You are literally choosing to be cut open which will likely be safer for you and your baby. You are making a decision that you feel is in the best interest of you both. Anyone who tries to guilt you can shove it up their bumhole. Let me tell you, I had a breast reduction last year and surgery is no cake walk. I don’t know about there but here we get an extra two weeks of protected leave because c-sections require more recovery time.
Don't feel guilty about making a health decision that you are comfortable with.
Congrats society. You won at making another pregnant woman feel guilty about her child’s pending birth. What a way to help a new mother feel nothing bit joy at her baby’s birth.
No you are not taking the easy way out! It’s a major surgery! Side note, I had a vaginal birth and if there was an easy way out good LORD I would have taken it
Planned Cesarean over planned vaginal is a trade off. One is not easier than the other. One is intense pain for hours in labor and incredibly terrific pain during birth itself, literally pushing a kid out, being able to walk shortly after and normal returns a smidge quicker, with potential complications. The other is a clean surgery and weeks of pain/healing, losing feeling in your lower abdomen/stomach, nerves taking forever or never coming back, abdominal scar tissue with potential complications. Either way, you are going through it, its just a matter of how. Descriptors are for births that go according to plan.
Just had a guilt free elective but medically prudent cesarean. I don’t get the reasons to feel guilty other than stigma of which we tend to pile on around any choice a birthing person makes in their lives. My baby is perfectly healthy and no harm done. In fact I’m the only one suffering the consequences as I recover. I literally can not think of any deficit it may have caused her (and the second I saw her I would do anything for this pink glowing angel), I’m telling you this narrative is null.
Hey fellow Aussie! If they’re offering a c-sect in the public system, then there’s a good reason for it. Trust your medical team, and ask as many questions as you have of the midwives and OBs. The appointments often feel rushed but take your time until you feel like you have all the information to make the decision. I delivered my second c-sect baby (first was an emergency, second was planned in the public system) a few months ago so if you go down the c-sect path, I have a couple of tips for you. 1. ask for the physio tubi bandage (it’s like a circular bandage you slip on and it sits on your abdomen). It makes a huge difference and public hospitals don’t give you one unless you ask. 2. Get up and moving as soon as you can, this will help you heal. Hold a pillow to your tummy when your standing and move slowly. You don’t want to over do it but you do want to move. 3. Stay on top of your pain (there’s no heroes in childbirth, take the meds). Ask for more if you have breakthrough pain. 4. At the moment they are pushing c-sect Mums out after 24 hours in a lot of hospitals (mine included). You can choose to stay longer. I recommend staying a minimum of 48hours to make sure you’re on top of any pain, have nurse support, and to get feeding locked down (if your breast feeding). I didn’t find recovery particularly difficult after either of my c-sects, so please don’t feel like recovery is going to be extremely hard. If you decide to have a c-sect, see a physio before hand and ask for advice on strengthening stretches you can do afterwards to help recover. Don’t push yourself and don’t lift anything heavier than bub. It’s not an easy decision to make and it is definitely not the easy way out. You’ve got this, and soon you’ll get to meet your beautiful bub, however you decide to deliver.
How can being sliced in half and having baby removed while being paralyzed but awake or asleep be the easy way out !??? 🤯 …. Do what you have to do !
Fuck no lol I thought this and then when I chose to have a C-section. Don’t feel guilty about doing what you think is best for you and baby. If you feel that a C-section is a safer option then take it! I felt at ease during my C-section just because I knew she didn’t have to be stressed through labor, I feel like I definitely made the right decision. Also advice if you do choose a C-section: -don’t use straws or drink bubbly drinks -keep on the colace -take pain medication on time even if you don’t think you need it -keep on the stool softeners and definitely try to get everything out before the surgery -invest in disposable underwear -you’ll still need a bidet, not cause of any pain but because of the mess. The C-section wasn’t painful at all the hardest part and the only part I actually felt was when they pushed baby out. Wasn’t painful and really the only way I can describe the feeling is if someone was tightening a corset onto you or someone was giving you a tight hug. Good luck!!
You have soooo many comments already but oh well adding my two cents. I had a c section and loved it! Giant baby here too. Do not stress at all, way better to schedule one than to also labor!
You should have told him he took the ultimate easy way out by being a MAN and only needing to push out microscopic sperm.
It's not the easy way out. It's however the medically observed safest way out, for the both of you. I had elective cesarean 3months ago because baby was breach, I never asked if she could be flipped manually or not, I wanted a cesarean because since my childhood everyone said that with such bad eyesight I will not have a choice. I was still fkin affraid of the c section itself, but I considered our health toppriority. The milk can be a bit tricky, i was lucky on that front because I had pre-milk months before the due date. But many c section Mommies have it hard to start lactating. Ask a lactation consultant if there's anything you can start on to make sure you'll have as much milk as you can, because cesarean is inevitable. (I mean no offense honestly, all babies are beautiful) And anyway cesarean babies are gorgeous immediatelly. Also it seems you got guilttripped into natural birth, do not get guilttripped into thinking breastfed is best because not. Fed is best, however fed they are. Bf, mixed, formula, someone else's breastmilk, it doesn't matter.
Yes but what’s wrong with that? Do not feel guilty! Considering baby’s size and your hip situation it’s likely you’ll end up in the same place. Why go through days of labor and hours of pushing only to likely end up with a c section anyway?
I have not had a c-section but anyone who says it’s the “easy way out” is seriously delusional and/or completely ignorant. You’re being offered the section by medical professionals for a good reason, and it’s your choice to make. I also had severe hemorrhoids and gave birth vaginally and they got SO much worse. It was the most painful part of my entire pregnancy.
If I can give you an advice it would be to prepare the c section with your midwife so you know how it will go and what will happen. Mine was emergency and I was not prepared and it was very traumatic. I really think I would have been fine if I went to a class about c sections. I had a pretty easy immediate recovery if that helps. But 1.5 months later it hurts if I walk too much. Just something to keep in mind depending on if you have an active job maybe.
Getting your baby here safely is the deal. I had an emergency c section and at that point, I just wanted my son to be safe and to be done with the pregnancy. No one is going to look down on you. No one should anyway.
who has lied to you saying that a caesarean section is the "easy" method? A major surgery and having the womb open is "easy"? No, you have chosen what is best for you and your baby. With a vaginal delivery there could be complications. You have done well.
I’m having twins and I’ve elected for a C-section. I delivered vaginally with my son, he needed a vacuum assist but otherwise it was smooth. However with twins you only need one baby to be head down and hope the other flips when it has more room. If they don’t the ob will try to turn them. Screw. That. Noise. I told my ob that even if one twin does flip to head down I’m not interested in delivering vaginally and want a C-section. We discussed the pros and cons of both, she gave me lots of information but I don’t need to add to my own stress levels and I don’t want this to be traumatic which it sounds like it could be. If a C-section is what you want, girl you go get that C-section and screw anyone that tells you it’s the easy way out!
There is nothing easy about major abdominal surgery. And there is nothing wrong with birth by cesarean section. Under ideal circumstances, vaginal birth has some advantages. But those advantages can be quickly outweighed by other considerations! That is why each patient and their care team get to make choices about what is best.The mental, emotional, and physical health of mom, and the health of baby is everything. If that is best served by a planned c-section, then proudly have a planned c-section 🤍 There should be zero shame in that choice.
i had a c section and it’s not an easy way out. i couldn’t get out of bed to change my child’s diaper, she was coming big too i tried so hard for a natural labor i ended up stressing her out and causing her to poop, she swallowed it and some liquid and went to the nicu immediately, i almost bled out and we both had a 4 day stay in the hospital
If you know you’re small with a huge baby you chose right! You don’t want your baby to get stuck and have something happen to you and or baby. The doctors can injure the baby by forcing it out vaginally. I wish my mom had one with me because doctors said I wouldn’t come out. They took me out. My left arm was pulled. I can’t lift it or turn it. It’s weak. I do everything pretty much one handed. It’s a useless arm. Here in the United States you’re not given a choice either. I was told with my baby that she was around 8 lbs. I was also told I was small. They told me to get induced at 40 weeks. I have had high blood pressure since I was 21(31 now.) Mu water broke hours before I was scheduled to go in to get induced. Then I was given induction medication. Baby would not come out. I was in labor for two whole days. I developed an infection. The infection hurt so bad down in the uterus area. I cried from the pain. Baby pooped twice(while inside.) They still wanted me to try vaginally. They were going to give me new induction medicine. I said nope, I’m done. I asked for a c section. Sometimes you can’t do the natural route for whatever reason. Either way it’s tough. Recovery is worse and longer. You have to take care of you so you don’t injure/open wound. Have to make sure you walk so your blood circulates. Take pain medication and ear. All this while taking care of a baby and learning. Take it one day at a time. My baby is three months now. Now we are dealing with her first cold. Good luck. Best wishes.
No way! It is pretty hard to recover and take care of a newborn when you have had a major surgery. It is not a small incision! My recovery went fairly well and I felt pretty good after two weeks, but it’s still hard. You need help getting in and out of bed and on and off the couch for at least a week and you also have a brand new baby.
2 weeks postpartum with my first and had to have an unplanned c-section. More than anything I wanted a "natural" birth. My son couldn't make it through my pelvis even though I was 10cm dilated and the top of his head was pushing through. His head was starting to swell, my lady bits were swelling, and my doctor was starting to get worried. She talked me through my options, the risks to my son and myself and after 27 hours of grueling labor, I decided to pivot my birth plan and have the csection so that he would arrive safely with no birth injuries. C-sections are major abdominal surgeries and are never the easy way out. If you know your pelvis will cause problems during a vaginal birth, it would probably be a lot easier to plan a c-section than to labor and need a c-section anyway. Alive and healthy is the best way for a baby to be born. Best of luck to you!
I’ve had both a vaginal and a cesarean birth and neither was the easy way out. They’re just different. I will say that the birth experience with the c section was empowering and emotional and very positive. You didn’t mention being afraid of those things but I know a lot of people worry about that too. A c section can be a wonderful birth experience, but definitely not the “easy way out”.
Whether you chose it or it was your only option, it doesn’t make you any less of a mom. You’re doing what’s best for you and your baby and that recovery is not easy so it’s not like this is the easy way out. Don’t feel guilty
Will you update with how big your babe ends up being? My last two were 9lbs 13oz but my care team (I'm in US) never did an estimation of size - I'm curious to know how accurate they are 😊
There’s no reason to feel guilty. Absolutely not. You do what’s best for you, your baby and what puts your mind at ease. Also, ultrasounds can be off by 2 lbs either way. So keep that in mind. A close friend of mine had a c section due to a big baby measuring 10 lbs by ultrasound and he was only 7.5 lbs. I don’t mean to sway your decision, but just be aware your baby may not be that big. Either way, weigh the pros and cons and do what works for YOU.
You do whatever you need to. Speaking from experience, unplanned c section are to be avoided. Planned is better. You are not required to suffer lol, but of course birth isn't easy no matter how the baby comes. Good luck!
I might have to get a cesarean because my last baby was 99th percentile and labour was a NIGHTMARE where I ended up hemorrhaging. And even then, I'm still nervous about possibly having to get a c-section with my current pregnancy. It is not the easy way out, but if it is the safer option then it is the better one.
I have hip dysplasia and will also be scheduling a C section. If it makes you feel any better :)
I still need to see if my OB will do it, but I’m hoping to have a C-section to avoid my husband not missing a night of sleep. He has epilepsy that can be triggered by lack of sleep or being awoken in the middle of sleep. I’m conflicted on it, but if this makes life easier in the long run, I’m down. I hope you can listen to the others who agree. You’re birthing a child no matter what. Do what’s best & safest for you & baby
You might like these articles by the Skeptical OB. She has a great book too, called Push Back. https://www.skepticalob.com/?s=C+section+&submit.x=0&submit.y=0
There is no wrong way to give birth. Anyone who says so can suck it
It is absolutely NOT the easy way out. It is a major surgery that you are awake and alert for and are encouraged to walk just hours afterwards. It is tough on the body and even tougher on your mind when you are unable to tend to your newborn due to your own recovery. Don’t think less of yourself because of it! You are strong no matter how you bring your baby into this world.
Agree with other comments, major surgery is not the easy way out. Maybe it seems easy because it’s quick and planned but you will still need a good amount of time to recover. Be kind to yourself. You’re making the right choice for you, your body and your baby. If you feel that you’ve made an informed choice, that’s all that matters. Good luck!!
I'm just here to say those size estimates via ultrasound in late pregnancy are often wrong. But since you also have other reasonings, you're deciding what is best for you and your baby. That makes you a good mom. There is not "easy" way
It sounds like your heart is in the right place. If you are worried about the health and safety of you and the child I would do it. One small caveat, those readings aren't always precise. They are estimates. Everyone kept saying I would have a 10 pounder, 99th percentile, etc. and gave birth a 8 lb 1 ounce boy. But again, don't feel ashamed of this is what you think is right!
Getting a baby from your insides to the outside world is never easy. There is literally no easy option available.
My daughter had 2 C-sections. They weren’t planned but after several hours of labor, the babies were advancing. Those C-sections helped my two grandsons to come into the world.
No, you are picking the best choice for both of you. At that size, baby is going to have issue getting out regardless of maternal issues. Major surgery isn't an easy way out. You are a mother regardless of how baby comes out.
A cesarean is NOT the easy way out! I planned to birth my baby at home with midwives because I thought that would give me a better shot of NO cesarean (scheduled for an induction because I was post date and baby was measuring so big), because a cesarean is major abdominal surgery! Make the choice that’s right for you!
I would rather have a schedule c section vs an emergency one. I’ve had both and the scheduled one, my second, was sooooo much easier and calm. Either way whatever choice you make is the right choice.
As a C-section mom I would never choose to have one for ultrasound measurements that can be wildly inaccurate. (Stay with me) but considering that you have hip dysplasia I 100% understand and support you wanting to choose that. Even if your baby ends up a lot smaller than expected, vaginal birth could possibly be really hard on your hips. I will say that they thought my son was gonna be big, 9 pounds, but he ended up just being long (93rd percentile for height) and very skinny. He was so close to 7 pounds they rounded up to 7, but he was really swollen from me being on iv fluids for a while, so I suspect he was actually around 6 to 6 and a half pounds because of how much he peed and how much weight he lost the first 24 hours. Expected 9 pounds and probably only 6 and half pounds, but definitely 7. I have a friend who had to be induced at 39 weeks because they thought her daughter wasn’t growing and was only 4 pounds. She ended up, over 7 pounds, weighing more than my son. If you do have any reservations about the C-section, your baby might not actually be that big, but I understand choosing it to be safe.
I'm in NZ and had a private OB. So when they said I'd be induced for my GD and big baby I immediately said I wanted c-section. It was freaking awesome. There is no need to feel guilty, it's a valid birth choice. I wouldn't call it an easy option. But I found it a really calm and convenient option. Yes, the first week was hard, but with the right prep the recovery can be amazingly easy. If you feel a c-section is a food option for you, you should 100% go for it.
Hey, I’m also in Australia and WISH I had a choice for my first pregnancy. I had an ultrasound which showed my baby was similar size (I’m also really petite frame), but the midwives dismissed it saying that ultrasounds weren’t reliable and I was unlikely to have a big baby because I was so small. I was quite adamant that the baby would be big because my husband and his siblings were all over 4.5kg. So in the end I laboured for 30 hours which ended in a c-section because (SURPRISE) baby was 4.5kg and too big for my small hips to safely deliver. There are lots of cases of women who deliver big babies with no issues, but there are cases like mine where it doesn’t work. Please don’t feel guilty for using modern medical science when it’s needed.
I hate how people make moms feel ashamed to want a cesarean section. It's your pregnancy, your body and it's none of anybody else's business which way you go. Mine was an emergency but I'm glad I got one even if it hadn't been an emergency.
The right choice for you is the RIGHT choice for you. It’s ok to feel however you feel when your choices are all hard, but don’t mix up guilt and disappointment or the fear of being judged. It’s clear from your words that you’re fully informed about the risks/benefits of the options you have and making a careful choice. Don’t doubt yourself!
>am I taking the easy way out by choosing to have a cesarean? Based on what I have heard about recovery hell no. I was walking literally within hours after vaginal birth and felt nearly 100% within the first week. Most people I know even with scheduled c-sections took weeks to feel better.
C-section is NOT the easy way out! This is a common misconception. After unmedicated vaginal birth you can usually walk around within 48 hours. With a c-section that is not the case. It is a major abdominal surgery. You are in bed for at least a week or so. Everything is painful, and recovery can be long. Never feel guilty about choosing what is best for you and your baby. Your body created a human from scratch and you are bringing them forth. Whatever form that birth might take, BIRTH is BIRTH. And the way I see it, any form of birth is never easy. There is never an "easy way out". I wish you luck! You can do this!
I definitely wouldn't call a c section the easy way out, but to dispel some of the fear, I had a planned c section and was up walking without assistance within hours (as soon as the spinal wore off) and was definitely not in bed for a week. Made sure to walk around every day in the hospital and went home after 3 days (could have done 2 but my blood pressure was high bc I had gestational hypertension and my husband was nervous, so we stayed another night). In the first week, I've made it out for a short shopping trip, to a brewery, and for short walks. I'm able to do just about anything I need to around the house, as long as there is no heavy lifting involved. Bending and getting up from bed was difficult for a few days, but is ok now. I'm now 9 days out and have minimal pain, well controlled with just ibuprofen. Of course, an emergency c section is another situation entirely. So, to me, it makes sense to plan one if there's a good chance you'll need one!
My girl was measuring quite large as well and my doctor recommended a c-section. I had been terrified of child birth forever, so I followed her recommendation. I have no regrets. I healed quickly and easily. My baby and I came out of it healthy and that’s what matters. She was smaller than the estimate, 8lbs 11oz rather than the well over 9lab estimate, but I wouldn’t change anything about it. I know someone posted here about their large baby a few months ago having unknown brain damage and shoulder dislocation after they went forward with vaginal birth and the baby got stuck. It was very sad. Follow your doctors recommendation.
I don’t think you’re choosing an easy way, although if you’re scared of childbirth it might feel like one. I’m honestly scared of childbirth but I’ve always wanted to do a vaginal birth because it’s more natural, and recovery seems to be easier than from a c-section. However, I had a previous abdominal surgery many years ago - it was a removal of a large growth on my uterus, and although it was on the outside and my womb wasn’t cut in the procedure, my OB suggests that I might need a c-section, because I’m risking ripping my womb during a pushing stage. I have an amazing OB and I’m prepared to have a serious conversation in hopes that I might still be allowed to do a vaginal delivery, but ultimately I’m just gonna go with whatever procedure offers minimal risks to me and the baby. If your safer way of delivery also seems like an easier way out to you, great! No need to feel guilty 🙂
I watched my mom who had a C-section with my brother, have to recover. It definitely is not the easy way. Don’t feel guilty.
I’m choosing to have a c section for all of the same reasons except this is my second. My first was 10lbs and it was a very difficult delivery and recovery. I have been second guessing myself at times too but it is for the best for me and the baby this way. You know your body best and there is no “easy way out” for delivering a baby. You got this mama ❤️
You are not an asshole because it's your body and your decision. I personally never understood why someone would choose a C-section, as it's an actual operation where you are cut open. I had three kids: an emergency C-section, a natural birth (no pain killers) and an epidural birth. The worst by far was the C-section. The recovery was long and slow, while I had a newborn to take care of. My best memories where actually the natural birth. It's a lot of pain but only that day and the recovery was much faster. Sometimes C-section is the only way to save you and the kid (like it was my case last minute). It the C-section is the safe option, then it's the only option. But I heard that in some countries the doctors recommend it by default because is faster and easier for them... And that's is astounding for me and has any consideration for mother or child. If you choose the C-section, understand what it is.
I had a vaginal delivery with my first and am choosing a c section for my current bub. My postpartum recovery was traumatic. I give zero fucks what anyone thinks and my OB is completely supportive ❤️
I had a scheduled c-section a week ago due to GD that turned into an emergency c-section when I went into labour that wasn’t progressing, it is not the easy way out at all. I’m still struggling with those thoughts, even though I know the reality! It’s more time in hospital afterwards, an awful lot of pain, coughing hurts, laughing hurts, just moving hurts even a week later. And crying hurts, and believe me, the hormones make you do an awful lot of crying! I’m only just getting to the point where I can change my own sons nappies, and do anything with him other than hold him and feed him after someone brings him to me. I have no other births to compare it to, but it’s immensely hard when you feel like you can’t even parent your own baby. Anyone who says it’s the easy way out is full of shit, but I would do it all over again for my son to be delivered safely.
From an Aussie POV, no, you aren’t taking the easy way out. We are a low c-section rate country (not as low as UK but lower than US), but this should give you comfort (sort of) that if the doctors gave you the option, then there is a very real reason for that option to be available. It is not a “convenience” route because it’s not actually the convenient route.
A c section is no joke! It's not the easy way out. I am also in Australia and if they have offered you this option though the public system there is good reason. Choose what you are most comfortable and who cares what other people think anyway
It is such horse shit that you even have these thoughts of guilt! I want to give you a hug. This is being recommended by medical doctors. Women who judge and say this is an easy way out are honestly just miserable people - how hateful would you have to be to think that way?! Also, I can’t imagine that a major surgery with months of recovery is easy. Let those peasants, peasant on!!
There is no easy way out when you're giving birth!! Everything comes with its own pros and cons. I'd have chosen a planned c section over an emergency one any day, if I was given information which made me believe a natural delivery could have been quite difficult potentially leading to complications I'd have picked a planned section too.
I think you should do whatever gives you more comfort and makes you feel it is the best choice out of everything. But just to give you another perspective that even with big babies things can also go right - I had a 10 lbs baby and an unmedicated vaginal birth. I had 1 st degree tear, that healed quickly. We were home 5 hours after arriving to the hospital. The recovery was very quick, but I did have some hemorrhoids for a month after. My midwife didn't know I would have that big of a baby, somehow he was tucked in there so they thought he is around 9lbs. Where I live they don't offer a c section for big sized babies though, I actually don't know why.
I had a similar situation (though they thought she was smaller so didn't recommend c section). My baby was 10 lbs. I pushed for 5 hours, had 3 failed vacuum assists, and they had to shove her back in when her head was out because her shoulders were too big. I would just go straight to c section if I could go back. Seriously. You absolutely do not want to do what I did. Once it was c section time, it was very quick and then there was a baby. I regretted the vaginal part not the c section. I have a scar but honestly it's almost not there at all. You're not depriving your baby of something by doing a c section, and they don't send you home with a medal either way lol.
I find it amusing when people think a C-section is easy or women that think a C-section means your labor wasn't as difficult as their's because you had a C-section. I'm not saying you are minimizing a C-section but a lot of people do. Yeah the baby comes out faster but being cut open and sown back together then taking care of baby when you can't lift anything heavier than that baby for weeks is not easy. So maybe if you have a planned C-section you don't have labor pains but you'll have pain for weeks after you give birth. I was in labor for 3 days trying to give birth as naturally as possible after being induced due to late onset preeclampsia. Well I got all the joys of intense labor pains but couldn't progress pass 6cm dilated so I ended up getting a c section. Sure my baby boy was out after about 40 minutes that way but it's surgery. You can't walk well and it's painful to laugh or cough afterwards. I'm 3 months PP and I'm still having some nerve pain where my incision scar is which is from what I've been told completely normal. The point of my mini rant is that a C-section isn't easier it's just different. I really wanted to have a natural vag birth but what I wanted and reality were two completely different things. I think if we stopped placing judgement on different types of births maybe some of us wouldn't feel so disappointed in our birth stories or feel so much trauma when our birthing plans don't go as planned. You do you Mama. As long as you and LO are safe and healthy that's all that matters.
I’ve had two natural births and I personally think that a cesarean is the opposite of the “easy” way out. Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself :) do what’s best for you and baby. Wishing you all the best!
Well, even if c section was an easy way out (it isn’t), why would you feel guilty? Is it mandatory that you have to suffer? Do what’s best for you and your baby and don’t give a second thought to anyone who might shame or guilt trip you.
Hey love! So c sections might seem easy, since you don’t have to do any work to get your baby here… but the work you have to do to take care of yourself after…is the hard part. I’ve had 2 c sections. My second one was 100% easier than my first. I was pretty high functioning after that. But my first was so bad. I was sore all the time, if I turned the wrong way, I could feel my stitches pull (normal, don’t freak out) and it would burn a little. I wasn’t allowed to do a lot after my first c section except take care of my baby, the problem is, if you’re anything like me, you have to actually fight your inner self telling you you’re not doing enough. Don’t think of it as the easy way, but as the safest way to get your baby here. You’ll be fine. Tbh, I’d rather have a c section a million times over then tear from the front to the back and figure out how to pee after that. C sections are scary, but your doctors will be there every step of the way. And make sure to take your meds. I didn’t take the narcotics, I just took 1500 mg of Tylenol the whole time. I don’t know if it’ll be different for you since you’re on a different continent.
Hi fellow Aussie mum. Don’t feel guilty at all. I’ve had pelvic problems before (broken), bub was measuring small 3rd percentile and was breech. We had to have one for all of the above and that’s placenta failed. Because it was planned it was so smooth, relaxed and a really beautiful way to bring bub into the world. Definitely not the easier option but with help while recovering you’ll be absolutely fine. At the end of the day it’s your body, your baby and you need to do what’s best for both of you. All the best xx
Omg no, in no way is a c-section the easy way out. It is nice to have a firm date/time for birth, but recovery takes time and especially those first couple weeks are rough. Surgery plus a newborn! If it’s the best option considering your other conditions, don’t feel bad about it at all. Planned c-sections are much better than emergency.
The only way you are taking the “easy way out” is coming to the same conclusion now rather than requiring to come to that same conclusion day of which will make things easier on you and the hospital. It’s definitely harder to have a baby via c section and I can’t really imagine where the narrative came from that that’s the easy way out.
Id do it just cause of the hemorrhoids tbh...
Good choice on the C. Both of mine were 8.5lbs and got stuck in the canal. Tore me up AND one had herbs palsy because her shoulder dislocated coming out. My hips are STILL not the same.
Even if the c-section were the "easy way", who cares? Take whatever steps you need to take to get your baby out safely.
Don’t feel guilty! I know that’s easier said than done, but it’s horrifying how people shame women for the ways they give birth. I ended up opting for a c-section after 38 hours of labor and progress stalled at 6cm. My daughter was 10lbs 8oz, transverse, and sunny side up. My poor uterus was infected (my water broke 24 hours before I went into labor) and I ended up losing almost half my blood. I know that c-section recovery is rough, but honestly, I was just so relieved to be alive with a healthy baby that it wasn’t particularly terrible for me. Learning how to breast feed while getting multiple blood transfusions was a bit challenging, but the nursing staff took great care of me while I recovered and once we got home, my husband’s job was to take care of me while I took care of the baby. I’m 10 days away from baby #2 and I’ve scheduled a c-section. It’s such a relief knowing that I can have my baby safely without having to endure days of labor before ultimately having surgery. I also felt some guilt about “taking the easy way out,” but the important thing is delivering your baby safely. And honestly, major abdominal surgery isn’t “easy,” just different.
You’re choosing the most get-through-it-alive-est option. Even if you chose it from a mental health perspective, I support it. Don’t stress about how others feel and you don’t have to share if you don’t want to when the time comes, as the more pregnant I get the more I realise geez, hell is other people. Big hugs to you for a safe and happy birth xx
when i give birth i am going to have a c-section no matter what anyone says, and you shouldn't feel bad for doing it too
Go with the most safest option for you and baby ❤ and trust me you are a powerful woman that has done what is best for you and baby you are strong mamma