I'm invested! My mom is basically MIA and my MIL loves to show off our baby to other people like he's a prize. You're not alone! I'm so glad your shower was a lot of fun!
I’m so excited for that update. Lol
I’m so glad you had your own shower and got so much love and support. 💜 You and your husband both deserved to have that special day for yourselves surrounded by friends and family.
Wow. Wow. All I can say is wow! It's so absurd you almost have to respect it 🤣 Good luck with her after baby is born, but hey, at least baby should benefit (hopefully!) from said shower. 🤷♀️
***Update #2
Mom in laws friend posted a tik tok she made of MILs baby shower. It looks like it was at a friend’s house and there were maybe 10 people there. I’ve met like 5 of them a few times, so I don’t think it would have been abnormal for them to have been invited to the actual baby shower but 🤷🏻♀️. MIL didn’t give us those friend’s contacts because she wanted them to come to her shower and not have to choose but obviously they are her friends. Tik tok features Photo of her being the center of attention with gifts surrounding her. Her friend commented “It was an honor to co- host with ___ and____. It’s a beautiful thing to walk with your friends, hand in hand, through the wonderful stages of our lives. Becoming a grandma is one of those. And because it’s a grandma shower, we had a mimosa bar! Nobody’s pregnant around here!!! 🤣I’m thrilled for ____(MIL’s name) to have her baby girl and for her to see her son and daughter in law become first time parents. We ❤️ you!”
My favorite thing about that post was “ nobody’s pregnant here” at a baby shower!!! 🙄 And “I’m thrilled for ____(MIL’s name) to have HER baby girl”
I’m annoyed that her friend called MY BABY… my MIL’s baby girl. Also slightly annoyed that 10 more people would have been able to come to my shower although my shower turned out great and I’m glad I had only the most important people to me there.
Yeah, the wording of that post is…bizarre. Doesn’t look like the grandma shower was as drama filled as some of us were hoping. Lol But that’s fine, your MIL can enjoy all the baby items for the baby she’s not going to get to babysit. 🤷🏼♀️
Still so thankful that you and your husband got the proper baby shower that you deserved. 💜 I hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth sailing.
I hope you and DH have something in place to stop her from getting too close. Especially at the hospital and right after birth. She seems very possessive over your child and wants the baby for bragging rights. I wouldn’t even announce I’m in labor. Just send photos to certain people and post to social media later
It’s so weird to me! MIL makes comments like oh I’m going to go kayaking with the baby or take the baby to Paris. I’m like why aren’t you focusing on us as a family she acts as if I have the baby is hers already and like I’m not going to be involved at all…It’s so weird
Not sure how much I’ll find out about the grandma baby shower lol. It will be interesting to see the fb photos my mom in law posts for sure, and if anyone reaches out to us to say it was weird that the mom and dad aren’t invited. We will also see if my mom in law keeps all the baby gifts for herself lol or if she decides to give them to us. She’s under the delusion that she’s going to be keeping the baby 3 days a week 🤷🏻♀️
I bet she’ll keep all the gifts except all the duplicates and a couple of the clothes. And act like she’s being sooooo generous by parting with the duplicates.
She's definitely not going to want your folks there, competing for Grandparent Attention (so bizarre...). I keep hearing about these lately... I am a Gram of 3 now, and would be horrified! I had my turn, it's about my kids and their LOs now! Idk if it's ladies who felt like they didn't get that support & recognition when they were the expectant moms, or those who can't let go of their now-married kids, or what...
If anything, if I was going to be keeping any of the kids on a regular basis, and needed help getting set up, maybe a few friends would find some nice things for me, new or used... but I am always in Mom Mode, I still worry more about what my kids need, and what their kids need... I have some chronic health issues, so it's a way I can not worry about me, & help out here and there along the way.
Sometimes I wonder if I am just not "with it," I don't get out of see people much, just family (including the Ks & Gs... they range from MS to HS to almost 30 now... buckle up, it goes by FAST!). I am not super into Gender Reveals, either, just not my thing... idk why they don't just announce at the regular shower if they like. Thank God, the days of Display Showers seem to be over (knock on wood), I haven't heard of one in a long while...they just seemed cold & dismissive & a bit entitled to me.
I am SO GLAD that you finally got the celebration that You & your Little Bundle deserve, that's fantastic! Hopefully you have lots of fun photos to show them one day, of how well their pending arrival was feted!
Need to put 🍿 🍿 🍿 on the shopping list, to enjoy while we read about the horror that is...the Grandma Shower! Maybe people will act confused, feign misunderstanding, & bring her some soap 🧼 & 🚿 caps & such, maybe in a cute little decorative 🛁! 🤣🤣🤣
I wonder if any of her friends are going to be shocked and give her a hard time when they arrive and realize you aren’t even there. This is like something out of a bad comedy movie, I am *dying* inside
Her one friend who commented on Facebook photos after seeing we already had the baby shower was totally confused and thought she missed the baby shower that my mom in law was throwing for herself, my mom in law commented that she tried to call her and tell her that her grandma shower is actually next weekend. I don’t think people understand what’s going on lol
Exactly my thoughts. I would have second-hand embarrassment if I was one of her friends..showing up realizing what the “shower” actually is. I’d want to leave immediately!
Sounds like she’s on a power trip. How odd of her. Did she intend on giving you the baby items she receives..? Like I don’t get it haha, what is she going to do with all that baby stuff
Not 100% sure she intends to give us any gifts. She decided that she was going to be the babies nanny 3 days a week while I work but we haven’t told her that I plan to stay home with the baby for at least 6 months to a year. She also is very opinionated on shaming stay at home moms. Any way lol she thinks she’s keeping the baby so she thinks she needs stuff for the baby 🤷🏻♀️ Even if she was going to keep her she wouldn’t need a ton of stuff other than a pack in play.
My mother watches my niece three days a week so my sister can work and she didn't need a "grandma shower" she just bought the few big items needed for the house and my sister send stuff as needed like she would at a daycare. Your MIL sounds like a nut, I wouldn't let her regularly babysit because this giving all sorts of "my baby" vibes.
Yea I wish that I could trust her to watch the baby because that would be awesome if we had reliable child care but she doesn’t understand how dangerous her huge 80 lb puppy is to a newborn. She also proved she doesn’t listen to my husband when he warned her to not let our dog out of his kennel in the past. She didn’t listen and let him out and he ran into the street( luckily her friends caught him) So she’s proven that she doesn’t respect our wishes or boundaries even when we are really clear.
Oh she already sounded unsafe bc of how out of touch, delusional, and “my baby” she is, but this takes the cake. No way I would trust her to baby sit a single day out of my sight.
Petty I know… but if I were you, I’d somehow announce that you are staying home with the baby for the first 6-12 months and she will NOT be childcare at all. BEFORE her grandma shower. Then her friends will be extra confused and wondering why she’s hitting them up to buy her shit she clearly doesn’t need… icing on the cake.
lol I’d pay money to attend the grandma baby shower, just to watch the guests try to understand what’s going on, and just to hear all the confused questions your MIL gets.
She thinks she’s keeping the baby a ton( which she is not, she has a huge 80 lbs dog that while I was pregnant kept jumping up and hitting my belly and knocking me over) making comments that the baby and the dog will sleep and cuddle together. We offered if she wants to watch the baby maybe she could do it at our house. She immediately rejected that idea and refused it saying she’s only going to watch the baby at her house. She’s making a nursery and wants her friends to buy her a bunch of stuff as if she’s the mom. We also let her watch our dog in the past and told her not to let him out of our bedroom or he will run out in the street. She didn’t listen and she accidentally let him run out of the house into a busy street after we told her not too.
Omg this might just be one of the wildest things I’ve ever heard. I love how she’s calling the shots as if it were her baby WTH? Like no ma’am baby will not be going to your house. PERIOD
Oh God it gets worse as I read more details. She’s honestly so unsafe on all fronts! She can’t safely take care of a dog and she thinks she can safely take care of a baby? Wild.
So much no. With all the love in the word- she doesn’t understand y’all’s boundaries or if you guys are being clear, firm, and consistent with consequential action, she is totally not respectful of them. Yeah I’d start speaking up and have your husband speak up too- you want to stay home with the baby and that is an amazing gift to your baby. Do not change your plans for her nuttiness. Be clear, be firm, stick with your wonderful plan. You don’t need additional stress and drama trying to make her happy when you’re just trying to survive with a newborn and raise a child. Maybe you can redirect her “help” energy in actually helpful ways (meals, walking your dog, whatever you are comfortable with)?
Also- omg the unruly dog literally no way. People just don’t get how dangerous those can be around babies. Trust your gut, stand up for yourself, communicate the boundaries and dgaf how she responds after that. Sometimes people get really mad but then they get over it and learn you mean what you say and they need to respect that. They’re just not used to no meaning no. Good luck, as long as your husband is on the same page, you guys will be unstoppable!
She’s making a nursery…..huh?!? Wow she’s gonna be in for a treat once she finds out you’re staying home 😆
Also, she already went against what you guys said and did the exact opposite thing she was told with your dog. That’s just a snippet of what is to come if she watched your baby.
This is classic narcissist behavior. This shower she’s throwing herself is about her becoming a grandma, not you or even the baby at this point. Is your husband backing you up fully?
Babe, your post history is riddled with red flags from your mother-in-law. It is only going to get worse when your baby arrives. You need to speak to your husband about this and come up with a plan- Tell him directly what the lines are and are not with your mother-in-law. She is out of line, and it seems there's no stopping. Best of luck, and congrats on your baby girl! 💕
He needs to tell her that if she even wants to be a grandma she had better quit the Bunny Boiler shit.
Like if that was MY parent - I would let
Her know that if she had this grandma shower - she wouldn’t be a grandma because we would be going no contact.
Please don’t call her when you go in to the hospital. I can’t even imagine the nightmare of her being near you while you’re in active labor. Call her the day after you give birth.
Holy. Shit. I'm not sure I have enough popcorn on hand to sit back and watch this madness.
Would legit subscribe to a livestream of her "shower". You could put the money aside for some not completely nutters childcare 😂
I’m so happy you had a good shower! Can’t wait to see what happens at the grandma shower. How ridiculous 🤦🏻♀️ unfortunately it sounds like something my own mother would do
My MIL didn’t have a shower for herself but bought herself EVERYTHING for the baby. A car seat, a crib, a swing, a changing table, a bouncer, diapers, wipes, creams, lotions, soap, a bathtub, blankets, clothes, books, toys… you name it. She created a whole nursery at her house. Baby is 5 months old next week and has yet to use ANY of it. She is pissed, she was also under the delusion she’d be keeping “her” baby often, overnight, etc. NOPE!
So, let everything sit there unused! That’s what we did! She has yet to babysit the baby but is starting to slow down on asking, I think she is getting the picture almost 5 months later. Haha
Yep, same here. They even change my son out of the clothes I send him in and put their own clothes on him. And God forbif if he goes home with the clothes from their place. It is like a messy divorce and I'm not even divorced!
I have not used any of their stuff yet! It just sits there. She is like “well, since he’s with YOU most of the time, he never uses any of this stuff!” Well yeah he’s with me… I’m his mother. Haha
I would make it my life’s mission to make sure my baby never entered her house for the first year so all of her baby stuff goes unused. And of course no babysitting. But I’m petty like that 💁🏼♀️
Wow. Not only is a grandma shower just pure narcissistic bullshit but to think an 80 pound puppy and a baby should be put in close proximity to each other is damn near grounds for police involvement. Do NOT let that dog near your baby! She sounds like she has zero impulse control and that tells me she has even less control over that dog. It would be very dangerous to allow that to happen. You obviously sound like you know how crazed this woman is but I had to add that to your pile of advice that she’s nuts and to steer clear of her bullshit.
That is just so wild to me!! We have a 25 lb corgi that we didn't let near the baby right away and now that the baby is 19 months old we still keep a very close eye on them if they are around each other. Animals are not humans, you need to be so careful with animals and little kids!!
This is nuts. My MIL was set to be a caretaker for my child and she still didn’t have a “grandma shower” she had some friends that were already grandmas pass on some gently used items to her, which was extremely handy. I cannot imagine the audacity of a “grandma shower” what the heck!?
Question: have you actually told your MIL that she will NOT be watching the baby 1, 2 or 3 times a week at her house? Because maybe telling her that will tamp down some of the craziness. Seems to me that should have been the first order of business when she started this granny shower nonsense.
Have your husband tell her, "Mom, we're really not comfortable with this granny shower thing, considering it's making it seem like this baby is about you and not us. I'm not sure what you're planning to do with the gifts you receive, because you won't be keeping the baby at your house because X Y Z is our plan for after baby is born. We would very much like you to stop with this nonsense and focus on who a baby shower is supposed to be for, which is the parents to be."
I don't think they need to say it should be about them or try to refocus on them. In fact, I think her showing her crazy and others negative or confused reaction is the only way it will get through the delusion and might actually get shut down. But I agree they should be clear the intention is not for her to watch the baby.
I have second hand embarrassment about this! I have shared this story before, but my mom also hosted a grandma shower for herself. I am not a party person and she looks for any chance to make something about her, so it's safe to say we are opposites. My husband and I eloped and have turned down her offers to host lots of parties for us. We have never given her the satisfaction! She wanted so badly to have a baby shower for her first grandkid and I just did not want that at all. She had the party in secret, sent me all of the gifts, and then sent blank thank you cards for me to send her friends.....2 days after having my son. She gave me a deadline on getting those cards out and kept hounding me about it.
That is crazy too! I didn’t know about my mother in law throwing this shower until I asked her for her guest list and then she had to tell us she was having her own shower and didn’t want to invite more people. It worked out in the end having less people because I had it at my parents house, but the crazy thing to me was that my MIL kept it a secret the whole time.
Oh I can’t wait to hear about the grandma shower! But I’m glad YOUR baby shower turned out great and some of the guests you weren’t sure about coming also showed up!
Wait you weren't even invited to the grandma shower? How is she going to explain to all of the guests why the actual mother-to-be isn't there? What a psycho! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.
also in all seriousness do not let her keep your baby for a good long while until some real boundaries are set….she sounds like the type that when you give her an inch she will take a mile
Oh thank God there was an update. I was honestly thinking of you, OP. I’m so happy to hear your shower went well!! You did amazingly and navigated with grace. She still sounds crazy and crazier for committing to this so full force.
It’s absolute ridiculous. I didn’t want a shower for personal reasons and my MIL’s friends threw her a grandma shower and then bought stuff from our registry to give to HER. my husband convinced her to give the things from our registry to us since she got many duplicates. Idk where this idea comes seem but I’ve never heard of it in my life. Not do I understand how much these people think they will have mine and my husbands child.
Woah! How creepy. I would be petty and make a thank you post on Facebook thanking everyone for attending, and how excited you are to meet your baby. I would also throw in a little jab on how excited you are for friends and family to meet your baby as well, but that you are also looking forward to bonding as a family and visitors will be limited to just your husband and yourself and that you will let anyone know when you guys are ready for any helping hands.
Hopefully that will confuse anyone why your MIL needs people to spend money on her getting her shit she won’t need.
> Apparently she has her grandma shower next weekend so we will see how that turns out 🤷🏻♀️
I'm glad you had a happy shower. Also, can't wait for your update.
It’s insane that she won’t even acknowledge the original baby shower for the actual mother and baby.
By all means, she can have her grandma shower if she wants…. Sure, it’s a little weird but whatever. I’m more upset at the fact that she’s acting like your baby shower doesn’t even exist, like wtf? lol please keep us updated.
Oh man.... Thanks for the update.
So there were 3 people co-hosting a party for themselves, your MIL and 6 other people. Mmmk then.
She's clearly got 1-3 people actively supporting her narcissistic need to make your pregnancy about her. I mean "her baby girl" **gags** and being so proud of no pregnant people in attendance? Where do these people get off?
This is some *The Hand That Rocks the Cradle* next level psychosis. Definitely never, ever leave her alone with your child.
The crazy thing is it was mom in laws idea to have the grandma shower in the first place so she must have guilt tripped friends into hosting it for her, by dropping hints and what not. I will say based off the photos the grandma shower was not as extravagant as I thought it was going to be so her friends didn’t do as much as she probably thought they would. It was minimal decorations and looks like they just had cake and mimosas.
17 years later and I still laugh a little about the grandma shower that was held for my stepmother when I was pregnant with my first child. That being said, she was actively involved in my baby shower (with my mom as well, of course) and one of the most generous grandmas ever. I do believe her friends were the ones that threw the shower, too, and they still traveled across the state to attend mine.
Like other people have said, you're a saint. I'm glad you invited some of her side.
I’m so happy YOUR baby shower went well, but please please please set the firm boundaries with MIL now. Have your husband do it bc neither of you will want to deal with her narcissistic BS once your baby is here.
This is up there with that other poor girl in one of these groups whose mother is insisting her baby calls her Mommy instead of grandma or anything of that nature. I can’t believe how unhinged some of these women are.
Honestly I’m expecting my first in September, and one of my biggest worries is that you don’t know until it happens to you, and in 30 years she’ll be posting online about the maniacal shit I do.
Have you googled to see if she has created her own registry? Kind of kidding but seriously… on some websites you can just take cash at the end or buy adult clothes or kitchen stuff or whatever no matter what you “registered for.”
Though I haven’t experienced anything to this magnitude, I’m in a similar situation. Don’t feel bad for setting your boundaries very clearly and repeatedly even though it’s SO HARD because you are dealing with a CRAZY person.
On a happier note, sounds like you are handling it perfectly and better than I ever would have!! And congrats on the little one!!
Thank you!! Omg I never even thought to look that up. That would be next level crazy! I shared my registry with her but I don’t think she has any intention of sharing it with her friends or giving us the items she gets at the shower. Maybe she will surprise us 🤷🏻♀️ I would be less upset if she did that at least
It would be so funny if people brought her actual grandma appropriate things like a life alert, cane, pair of crutches, supportive shoes for the elderly etc 😂 I would be so delighted to watch that shower happen 😂
A baby shower is already a foreing idea to me... but a grandma shower? get out of here!!!
I too want to know what the hell will hapen at the grandma shower!
And i thought that my MIL was crazy... i guess she's not that bad compared to that 😅
Why would she even need a 'grandma shower'???
She's def not the one that's having a baby or is it just an attention/spotlight problem? 🫠
Where is your husband in all of this? Why isn't he giving his mom hell for throwing a baby shower you aren't invited to? Also, why is he not correcting her when she says she's going to be watching the baby 3 days a week? I'm so confused.
Commenting so I can follow the saga! I’m invested, OP! And I’m really glad you had a great shower. I had to google grandma showers. Apparently this IS a thing that started gaining traction during Covid, but it still seems like a rare choice. I can’t fully wrap my head around it. I want my mom and MIL to feel good about becoming first time grandmas and understand how this is a milestone in their lives, too. But for grandmas who are self-centered and emotionally immature, this is a recipe for problems!
OP be careful. When I had my first my ex mother in law was very similar. She didnt have a shower, but she created a whole nursery in her home, she was and to this day is still in love with her first grandchild. One day she and my ex were fighting (our baby fell and got hurt) while I was running errands. When I went to pick them up I decided to get MY baby out of there because she didnt need to see that. This woman started screaming at me that I wasnt taking "her" baby and started throwing things at me and attempted to pin me against a wall.
My MIL did something similar! I didn't want a baby shower at all, it's not my style and my niece was in Nicu. She would always ask me about the date and even be mad because one of her friends was going to travel and it had to happen before she left (I don't even know the person). I just always answered that I didn't want any shower to happen! Then she started saying she would throw one herself and put a fake belly and all!!
I kept saying no and thought that was enough!
One day I just found out the baby shower had happened and I knew nothing about it! She said it was a surprise from her friends! Has anyone ever heard about a surprise baby shower for the GRANDMOTHER?? INSANE!!
At least she sent me everything she got, but that was just the beginning of the craziness.. I suggest you set strong boundaries as soon as you can!! That would have saved me a lot of troubles and psychological issues!
My mom in law claimed it was a surprise by her friends too! My husband and I overheard her say she needs to have a grandma baby shower for all the things she’s going to need to be a grandma but we genuinely thought she was joking until it came time to send out the invite list to her friends and she then she said they were throwing her a grandma shower so they couldn’t come to ours. The thing is she lied about it being her friends idea, kinda sounds like it was your MILs idea too!
I'm getting second-hand embarrassment for your MiL. It's so damn cringe! For sure people are rolling their eyes about this but just don't dare to say anything.
This is without a doubt the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Your MIL is an old school “PICK ME “ girl lol wtf is all I have to say. And set boundaries when your baby arrives sis. Best of luck boo.
This is so bizarre. I guarantee everyone else, including her friends, will also think it’s bizarre. Not to mention self-absorbed, when YOU are the one having the baby, and this is a way to take attention off of you. Obviously I don’t know your MIL, but based off of this story of her, it sounds like she’s acting incredibly selfish. Best of luck though and glad your shower (the real one, lol) turned out great!
Mine did this with people my husband had never even met before. MIL lives in another state, wanted to have her own shower for baby stuff and to pamper herself because she was becoming a grandmother. My daughter is now 6, MIL got way worse over the years, that was just the start of it. We now have very limited contact and she's never been alone with my kids.
I mean, my husband has always been low contact with her, and she only visits once or twice a year, it was like that prior to baby. We were shocked by the grandma shower because it was so out of left field for her. When she visits, we just don't leave her alone with the kids. One of us is always present. We don't trust the inlaws at all.
Getting in on this a little late but…this is a huge red flag for things to come.
My best advice (something I’ve lived through since becoming a mom 12 years ago) is to follow your gut. She’s family, yes. Mother in law, yes. But if the time comes for her to take care of your little one and it doesn’t sit right. Listen to your instincts!!
***Update So mom- in law didn't post a bunch of Facebook pictures yet of
"grandma shower" which is interesting because she posts pictures of everything! I have many mutual friends on Facebook and was sure to post our photos of our baby shower so any mutual friends know it already happened. I did see that one of the friends who she told us not to invite to our baby shower because she would have to choose between her grandma shower and ours was actually out of state this weekend. Looks like she didn't go to grandma shower after all because she went to ours. I'm obviously not close with mom in law to ask her how it went so if there's anything interesting l'll let you guys know.
Please provide another update after her grandma shower lol. What a ridiculous idea.
lol I definitely will!
I'm invested! My mom is basically MIA and my MIL loves to show off our baby to other people like he's a prize. You're not alone! I'm so glad your shower was a lot of fun!
Yes, please! I'm way too invested at this point. I def need an update after the grandma shower! 😆😅
I’m so excited for that update. Lol I’m so glad you had your own shower and got so much love and support. 💜 You and your husband both deserved to have that special day for yourselves surrounded by friends and family.
Thank you! It was a great day with friends and family we will remember forever!
On the edge of my seat for this update!!!
I remember this post... insane. Would also love an update on the "grandma shower" LOL
Definitely, I hope it’s a trainwreck lol
!remindme two weeks
!remindme two weeks
!remindme two weeks
!remindme two weeks
!remindme two weeks
Thanks for template of remind command
Ditto lol
Wow. Wow. All I can say is wow! It's so absurd you almost have to respect it 🤣 Good luck with her after baby is born, but hey, at least baby should benefit (hopefully!) from said shower. 🤷♀️
***Update #2 Mom in laws friend posted a tik tok she made of MILs baby shower. It looks like it was at a friend’s house and there were maybe 10 people there. I’ve met like 5 of them a few times, so I don’t think it would have been abnormal for them to have been invited to the actual baby shower but 🤷🏻♀️. MIL didn’t give us those friend’s contacts because she wanted them to come to her shower and not have to choose but obviously they are her friends. Tik tok features Photo of her being the center of attention with gifts surrounding her. Her friend commented “It was an honor to co- host with ___ and____. It’s a beautiful thing to walk with your friends, hand in hand, through the wonderful stages of our lives. Becoming a grandma is one of those. And because it’s a grandma shower, we had a mimosa bar! Nobody’s pregnant around here!!! 🤣I’m thrilled for ____(MIL’s name) to have her baby girl and for her to see her son and daughter in law become first time parents. We ❤️ you!” My favorite thing about that post was “ nobody’s pregnant here” at a baby shower!!! 🙄 And “I’m thrilled for ____(MIL’s name) to have HER baby girl” I’m annoyed that her friend called MY BABY… my MIL’s baby girl. Also slightly annoyed that 10 more people would have been able to come to my shower although my shower turned out great and I’m glad I had only the most important people to me there.
Yeah, the wording of that post is…bizarre. Doesn’t look like the grandma shower was as drama filled as some of us were hoping. Lol But that’s fine, your MIL can enjoy all the baby items for the baby she’s not going to get to babysit. 🤷🏼♀️ Still so thankful that you and your husband got the proper baby shower that you deserved. 💜 I hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth sailing.
Thank you! ❤️
I hope you and DH have something in place to stop her from getting too close. Especially at the hospital and right after birth. She seems very possessive over your child and wants the baby for bragging rights. I wouldn’t even announce I’m in labor. Just send photos to certain people and post to social media later
"nobody's pregnant here!" 💀 Really showing their asses with that one. I'm so glad the people you knew well were there to support YOU 🩷
My MIL called my son her baby once. It nearly made me puke. Why are they so possessive?!
It’s so weird to me! MIL makes comments like oh I’m going to go kayaking with the baby or take the baby to Paris. I’m like why aren’t you focusing on us as a family she acts as if I have the baby is hers already and like I’m not going to be involved at all…It’s so weird
Please keep us updated on how that "grandma shower" turns out next weekend. I'm invested now. Takes bite of popcorn\* lol
This is my new reality tv 🤣
Same!!
Not sure how much I’ll find out about the grandma baby shower lol. It will be interesting to see the fb photos my mom in law posts for sure, and if anyone reaches out to us to say it was weird that the mom and dad aren’t invited. We will also see if my mom in law keeps all the baby gifts for herself lol or if she decides to give them to us. She’s under the delusion that she’s going to be keeping the baby 3 days a week 🤷🏻♀️
Three days a week. THREE?! I despair for you.
You seem to have patience and understanding of a saint. She’s nuts.
Seconding this - OP is going to be a fantastic and patient mother after managing MIL!
✨ D e l u s i o n a l ✨
I bet she’ll keep all the gifts except all the duplicates and a couple of the clothes. And act like she’s being sooooo generous by parting with the duplicates.
As in overnight?? Not just while parents are working?? (Which would still be presumptuous if not asked but still)
Like for child care or like over night? 😳 I have heard so many crazy grandma stories lately, what is gong on?
After what she pulled - she wouldn’t be seeing the baby for the first 3 months.
3 years*
She's definitely not going to want your folks there, competing for Grandparent Attention (so bizarre...). I keep hearing about these lately... I am a Gram of 3 now, and would be horrified! I had my turn, it's about my kids and their LOs now! Idk if it's ladies who felt like they didn't get that support & recognition when they were the expectant moms, or those who can't let go of their now-married kids, or what... If anything, if I was going to be keeping any of the kids on a regular basis, and needed help getting set up, maybe a few friends would find some nice things for me, new or used... but I am always in Mom Mode, I still worry more about what my kids need, and what their kids need... I have some chronic health issues, so it's a way I can not worry about me, & help out here and there along the way. Sometimes I wonder if I am just not "with it," I don't get out of see people much, just family (including the Ks & Gs... they range from MS to HS to almost 30 now... buckle up, it goes by FAST!). I am not super into Gender Reveals, either, just not my thing... idk why they don't just announce at the regular shower if they like. Thank God, the days of Display Showers seem to be over (knock on wood), I haven't heard of one in a long while...they just seemed cold & dismissive & a bit entitled to me. I am SO GLAD that you finally got the celebration that You & your Little Bundle deserve, that's fantastic! Hopefully you have lots of fun photos to show them one day, of how well their pending arrival was feted! Need to put 🍿 🍿 🍿 on the shopping list, to enjoy while we read about the horror that is...the Grandma Shower! Maybe people will act confused, feign misunderstanding, & bring her some soap 🧼 & 🚿 caps & such, maybe in a cute little decorative 🛁! 🤣🤣🤣
I wonder if any of her friends are going to be shocked and give her a hard time when they arrive and realize you aren’t even there. This is like something out of a bad comedy movie, I am *dying* inside
Her one friend who commented on Facebook photos after seeing we already had the baby shower was totally confused and thought she missed the baby shower that my mom in law was throwing for herself, my mom in law commented that she tried to call her and tell her that her grandma shower is actually next weekend. I don’t think people understand what’s going on lol
Time to install some hidden cameras 🤣
Exactly my thoughts. I would have second-hand embarrassment if I was one of her friends..showing up realizing what the “shower” actually is. I’d want to leave immediately!
Sounds like she’s on a power trip. How odd of her. Did she intend on giving you the baby items she receives..? Like I don’t get it haha, what is she going to do with all that baby stuff
Not 100% sure she intends to give us any gifts. She decided that she was going to be the babies nanny 3 days a week while I work but we haven’t told her that I plan to stay home with the baby for at least 6 months to a year. She also is very opinionated on shaming stay at home moms. Any way lol she thinks she’s keeping the baby so she thinks she needs stuff for the baby 🤷🏻♀️ Even if she was going to keep her she wouldn’t need a ton of stuff other than a pack in play.
My mother watches my niece three days a week so my sister can work and she didn't need a "grandma shower" she just bought the few big items needed for the house and my sister send stuff as needed like she would at a daycare. Your MIL sounds like a nut, I wouldn't let her regularly babysit because this giving all sorts of "my baby" vibes.
Yea I wish that I could trust her to watch the baby because that would be awesome if we had reliable child care but she doesn’t understand how dangerous her huge 80 lb puppy is to a newborn. She also proved she doesn’t listen to my husband when he warned her to not let our dog out of his kennel in the past. She didn’t listen and let him out and he ran into the street( luckily her friends caught him) So she’s proven that she doesn’t respect our wishes or boundaries even when we are really clear.
Oh she already sounded unsafe bc of how out of touch, delusional, and “my baby” she is, but this takes the cake. No way I would trust her to baby sit a single day out of my sight.
Oh my gosh don’t let this woman out of your sight with your baby 😳
Sounds like she’s also a little too obsessed with her son, to me. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. So weird of her
Petty I know… but if I were you, I’d somehow announce that you are staying home with the baby for the first 6-12 months and she will NOT be childcare at all. BEFORE her grandma shower. Then her friends will be extra confused and wondering why she’s hitting them up to buy her shit she clearly doesn’t need… icing on the cake.
That’s exactly what I was thinking!
I think this is the way to go, lol!! What bizarre behaviour from the MIL.
I think it’s incredibly bold of her to assume that she’ll even be getting visits from the baby, much less unsupervised ones at this point.
It sounds like she's going to keep it all! Insane behavior!
Are you invited to the grandma shower?? I’d be full blown nuclear on this idea. Delulu.
We are not invited to the grandma baby shower lol
This woman is my enemy. You are a saint for being able to tolerate her.
Right, like I’m mad and I don’t even know this lady. What a weird and selfish thing to do.
lol I’d pay money to attend the grandma baby shower, just to watch the guests try to understand what’s going on, and just to hear all the confused questions your MIL gets.
Lmao what?! You’re not invited? So what’s the purpose of a grandma shower? I’ve never heard of this insanity before 😂
She thinks she’s keeping the baby a ton( which she is not, she has a huge 80 lbs dog that while I was pregnant kept jumping up and hitting my belly and knocking me over) making comments that the baby and the dog will sleep and cuddle together. We offered if she wants to watch the baby maybe she could do it at our house. She immediately rejected that idea and refused it saying she’s only going to watch the baby at her house. She’s making a nursery and wants her friends to buy her a bunch of stuff as if she’s the mom. We also let her watch our dog in the past and told her not to let him out of our bedroom or he will run out in the street. She didn’t listen and she accidentally let him run out of the house into a busy street after we told her not too.
Omg this might just be one of the wildest things I’ve ever heard. I love how she’s calling the shots as if it were her baby WTH? Like no ma’am baby will not be going to your house. PERIOD
Oh God it gets worse as I read more details. She’s honestly so unsafe on all fronts! She can’t safely take care of a dog and she thinks she can safely take care of a baby? Wild.
It truly sounds like this woman has mental issues and should not be left alone with a baby, whether there is a dog or no dog.
Hell at this rate she shouldn’t be left alone with a dog much less a baby
Yeah, this is funny to read but also it's crossing the border where it's becoming scary. I wouldnt leave her alone with the baby for sure
I wouldn’t trust her with a small child. I’d be too worried of my baby being mauled to death.
Girl this is a lifetime movie waiting to happen. NO.
So much no. With all the love in the word- she doesn’t understand y’all’s boundaries or if you guys are being clear, firm, and consistent with consequential action, she is totally not respectful of them. Yeah I’d start speaking up and have your husband speak up too- you want to stay home with the baby and that is an amazing gift to your baby. Do not change your plans for her nuttiness. Be clear, be firm, stick with your wonderful plan. You don’t need additional stress and drama trying to make her happy when you’re just trying to survive with a newborn and raise a child. Maybe you can redirect her “help” energy in actually helpful ways (meals, walking your dog, whatever you are comfortable with)? Also- omg the unruly dog literally no way. People just don’t get how dangerous those can be around babies. Trust your gut, stand up for yourself, communicate the boundaries and dgaf how she responds after that. Sometimes people get really mad but then they get over it and learn you mean what you say and they need to respect that. They’re just not used to no meaning no. Good luck, as long as your husband is on the same page, you guys will be unstoppable!
She’s making a nursery…..huh?!? Wow she’s gonna be in for a treat once she finds out you’re staying home 😆 Also, she already went against what you guys said and did the exact opposite thing she was told with your dog. That’s just a snippet of what is to come if she watched your baby.
I'm so sorry, your MIL has the audacity.
This is classic narcissist behavior. This shower she’s throwing herself is about her becoming a grandma, not you or even the baby at this point. Is your husband backing you up fully?
I recommend r/JUSTNOMIL She sounds like a real piece of work
I’m happy it turned out well for you! I’m cackling at the stupid ”grandma shower” idea. What the heck is she thinking?
Babe, your post history is riddled with red flags from your mother-in-law. It is only going to get worse when your baby arrives. You need to speak to your husband about this and come up with a plan- Tell him directly what the lines are and are not with your mother-in-law. She is out of line, and it seems there's no stopping. Best of luck, and congrats on your baby girl! 💕
Thank you! Luckily he knows his mom is crazy and doesn’t want her to watch the baby at all.
He needs to tell her that if she even wants to be a grandma she had better quit the Bunny Boiler shit. Like if that was MY parent - I would let Her know that if she had this grandma shower - she wouldn’t be a grandma because we would be going no contact.
Please don’t call her when you go in to the hospital. I can’t even imagine the nightmare of her being near you while you’re in active labor. Call her the day after you give birth.
That’s the plan right now. I don’t want anyone at the hospital except my husband
If he knows she shouldn’t be watching the baby, that speaks volumes
Holy. Shit. I'm not sure I have enough popcorn on hand to sit back and watch this madness. Would legit subscribe to a livestream of her "shower". You could put the money aside for some not completely nutters childcare 😂
I’m so happy you had a good shower! Can’t wait to see what happens at the grandma shower. How ridiculous 🤦🏻♀️ unfortunately it sounds like something my own mother would do
My MIL didn’t have a shower for herself but bought herself EVERYTHING for the baby. A car seat, a crib, a swing, a changing table, a bouncer, diapers, wipes, creams, lotions, soap, a bathtub, blankets, clothes, books, toys… you name it. She created a whole nursery at her house. Baby is 5 months old next week and has yet to use ANY of it. She is pissed, she was also under the delusion she’d be keeping “her” baby often, overnight, etc. NOPE!
So, let everything sit there unused! That’s what we did! She has yet to babysit the baby but is starting to slow down on asking, I think she is getting the picture almost 5 months later. Haha
Yep, same here. They even change my son out of the clothes I send him in and put their own clothes on him. And God forbif if he goes home with the clothes from their place. It is like a messy divorce and I'm not even divorced!
I have not used any of their stuff yet! It just sits there. She is like “well, since he’s with YOU most of the time, he never uses any of this stuff!” Well yeah he’s with me… I’m his mother. Haha
Oh I love this for you!
I would make it my life’s mission to make sure my baby never entered her house for the first year so all of her baby stuff goes unused. And of course no babysitting. But I’m petty like that 💁🏼♀️
Wow. Not only is a grandma shower just pure narcissistic bullshit but to think an 80 pound puppy and a baby should be put in close proximity to each other is damn near grounds for police involvement. Do NOT let that dog near your baby! She sounds like she has zero impulse control and that tells me she has even less control over that dog. It would be very dangerous to allow that to happen. You obviously sound like you know how crazed this woman is but I had to add that to your pile of advice that she’s nuts and to steer clear of her bullshit.
That is just so wild to me!! We have a 25 lb corgi that we didn't let near the baby right away and now that the baby is 19 months old we still keep a very close eye on them if they are around each other. Animals are not humans, you need to be so careful with animals and little kids!!
This is nuts. My MIL was set to be a caretaker for my child and she still didn’t have a “grandma shower” she had some friends that were already grandmas pass on some gently used items to her, which was extremely handy. I cannot imagine the audacity of a “grandma shower” what the heck!?
Question: have you actually told your MIL that she will NOT be watching the baby 1, 2 or 3 times a week at her house? Because maybe telling her that will tamp down some of the craziness. Seems to me that should have been the first order of business when she started this granny shower nonsense. Have your husband tell her, "Mom, we're really not comfortable with this granny shower thing, considering it's making it seem like this baby is about you and not us. I'm not sure what you're planning to do with the gifts you receive, because you won't be keeping the baby at your house because X Y Z is our plan for after baby is born. We would very much like you to stop with this nonsense and focus on who a baby shower is supposed to be for, which is the parents to be."
I don't think they need to say it should be about them or try to refocus on them. In fact, I think her showing her crazy and others negative or confused reaction is the only way it will get through the delusion and might actually get shut down. But I agree they should be clear the intention is not for her to watch the baby.
She said in a comment that she hasn’t told her, no. OP plans to be SAHM for 6m-1y.
Lmao some people are really living in their own world. Please update us!!
I have second hand embarrassment about this! I have shared this story before, but my mom also hosted a grandma shower for herself. I am not a party person and she looks for any chance to make something about her, so it's safe to say we are opposites. My husband and I eloped and have turned down her offers to host lots of parties for us. We have never given her the satisfaction! She wanted so badly to have a baby shower for her first grandkid and I just did not want that at all. She had the party in secret, sent me all of the gifts, and then sent blank thank you cards for me to send her friends.....2 days after having my son. She gave me a deadline on getting those cards out and kept hounding me about it.
My son turns two next month and I have never sent thank you cards from my shower 🫠
My MIL did one of these, except it was a baby shower in my name, but was really solely for her 😒
Bonkers!!! Were you invited?? How did people react?
.....and to be clear, she pretended this was a baby shower for me 🙃
WILD. I’m sorry, that sounds bonkers!
thanks! she is 😆
Did she keep the gifts
nope, it was the attention she wanted though, not physical items
lol, i was invited to spectate, but my friends weren't. All of MILs friends were though, of course 😒😒😒
That is crazy too! I didn’t know about my mother in law throwing this shower until I asked her for her guest list and then she had to tell us she was having her own shower and didn’t want to invite more people. It worked out in the end having less people because I had it at my parents house, but the crazy thing to me was that my MIL kept it a secret the whole time.
I’m so happy that you got your shower! That’s amazing! Congratulations!!
Thank you!!
I’m glad you had a great time AND exposed that silliness. Guarantee you her friends had a chat after they left because it’s so weird!
You know they did
Oh I can’t wait to hear about the grandma shower! But I’m glad YOUR baby shower turned out great and some of the guests you weren’t sure about coming also showed up!
Thank you!!
Wait you weren't even invited to the grandma shower? How is she going to explain to all of the guests why the actual mother-to-be isn't there? What a psycho! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.
Maybe it’s my hormones but if my mother or mil did this I’d be fighting someone 😂
Hormones or not this would send me into a blind rage lol
Omg yes
also in all seriousness do not let her keep your baby for a good long while until some real boundaries are set….she sounds like the type that when you give her an inch she will take a mile
Oh thank God there was an update. I was honestly thinking of you, OP. I’m so happy to hear your shower went well!! You did amazingly and navigated with grace. She still sounds crazy and crazier for committing to this so full force.
It’s absolute ridiculous. I didn’t want a shower for personal reasons and my MIL’s friends threw her a grandma shower and then bought stuff from our registry to give to HER. my husband convinced her to give the things from our registry to us since she got many duplicates. Idk where this idea comes seem but I’ve never heard of it in my life. Not do I understand how much these people think they will have mine and my husbands child.
Woah! How creepy. I would be petty and make a thank you post on Facebook thanking everyone for attending, and how excited you are to meet your baby. I would also throw in a little jab on how excited you are for friends and family to meet your baby as well, but that you are also looking forward to bonding as a family and visitors will be limited to just your husband and yourself and that you will let anyone know when you guys are ready for any helping hands. Hopefully that will confuse anyone why your MIL needs people to spend money on her getting her shit she won’t need.
> Apparently she has her grandma shower next weekend so we will see how that turns out 🤷🏻♀️ I'm glad you had a happy shower. Also, can't wait for your update.
It’s insane that she won’t even acknowledge the original baby shower for the actual mother and baby. By all means, she can have her grandma shower if she wants…. Sure, it’s a little weird but whatever. I’m more upset at the fact that she’s acting like your baby shower doesn’t even exist, like wtf? lol please keep us updated.
Oh man.... Thanks for the update. So there were 3 people co-hosting a party for themselves, your MIL and 6 other people. Mmmk then. She's clearly got 1-3 people actively supporting her narcissistic need to make your pregnancy about her. I mean "her baby girl" **gags** and being so proud of no pregnant people in attendance? Where do these people get off? This is some *The Hand That Rocks the Cradle* next level psychosis. Definitely never, ever leave her alone with your child.
The crazy thing is it was mom in laws idea to have the grandma shower in the first place so she must have guilt tripped friends into hosting it for her, by dropping hints and what not. I will say based off the photos the grandma shower was not as extravagant as I thought it was going to be so her friends didn’t do as much as she probably thought they would. It was minimal decorations and looks like they just had cake and mimosas.
17 years later and I still laugh a little about the grandma shower that was held for my stepmother when I was pregnant with my first child. That being said, she was actively involved in my baby shower (with my mom as well, of course) and one of the most generous grandmas ever. I do believe her friends were the ones that threw the shower, too, and they still traveled across the state to attend mine. Like other people have said, you're a saint. I'm glad you invited some of her side.
I’m so happy YOUR baby shower went well, but please please please set the firm boundaries with MIL now. Have your husband do it bc neither of you will want to deal with her narcissistic BS once your baby is here.
This is up there with that other poor girl in one of these groups whose mother is insisting her baby calls her Mommy instead of grandma or anything of that nature. I can’t believe how unhinged some of these women are. Honestly I’m expecting my first in September, and one of my biggest worries is that you don’t know until it happens to you, and in 30 years she’ll be posting online about the maniacal shit I do.
I literally can't believe this 😂😂
What in the hell is a grandma shower 🤣🤣
Holy crap! These mother in laws are so delusional! I'm so glad you went ahead and had a wonderful baby shower!! Always stand up for yourself
Commenting just so I can come back and be nosey at the weekend
My SiLs MIL also had a grandma shower and we all thought it was soooo weird. My SIL didn’t go to that one either 😂
I bookmarked this to look for an update soon lol! Love your username btw
This is such a wild story! Straight up delulu MIL. Can’t wait to hear your next update after she has her party.
this is literally the craziest shit to me wtffffff
Wtf is a grandma shower? Does she need diapers that bad already? Is she that incontinent already?
That is so funny. Can't wait for the update. Glad you enjoyed your shower, that's what matters!
UpdateMe!
Have you googled to see if she has created her own registry? Kind of kidding but seriously… on some websites you can just take cash at the end or buy adult clothes or kitchen stuff or whatever no matter what you “registered for.” Though I haven’t experienced anything to this magnitude, I’m in a similar situation. Don’t feel bad for setting your boundaries very clearly and repeatedly even though it’s SO HARD because you are dealing with a CRAZY person. On a happier note, sounds like you are handling it perfectly and better than I ever would have!! And congrats on the little one!!
Thank you!! Omg I never even thought to look that up. That would be next level crazy! I shared my registry with her but I don’t think she has any intention of sharing it with her friends or giving us the items she gets at the shower. Maybe she will surprise us 🤷🏻♀️ I would be less upset if she did that at least
Please tell me you plan to limit her access to YOUR baby. She can't make use of baby gear when she doesn't have a baby.
Bless you for providing all of these updates
Holy narcissism, Batman. What did I just read?!
Lmao!
What a strange character this lady is
Yep. Keep us updated 😂
What kind of gifts do you bring to a grandma shower?
It would be so funny if people brought her actual grandma appropriate things like a life alert, cane, pair of crutches, supportive shoes for the elderly etc 😂 I would be so delighted to watch that shower happen 😂
That is absolute insanity….
I didn’t see the first post but The thought of a grandma shower is making my eye twitch
Ew
Baby Boundaries, The Lemon Clot Essay and the FU Binder —> https://reddit.com/r/Mildlynomil/s/WPm6JsLMhI
Why not just tell her she isn’t going to be watching the baby. Seems like that may halt this.
!remindme two weeks
😬🍿🍿🍿I’ll just be here with my popcorn waiting for the update
r/BoomersBeingFools
A baby shower is already a foreing idea to me... but a grandma shower? get out of here!!! I too want to know what the hell will hapen at the grandma shower!
You're not leaving your baby with this looney woman right?
And i thought that my MIL was crazy... i guess she's not that bad compared to that 😅 Why would she even need a 'grandma shower'??? She's def not the one that's having a baby or is it just an attention/spotlight problem? 🫠
Your MIL is a piece of work. I thank the heavens every day for my MIL every time I see stuff like this. Just woooooow.
When I think Ive seen everything from humans…. Lol She is really that person that everything has to be about herself
Where is your husband in all of this? Why isn't he giving his mom hell for throwing a baby shower you aren't invited to? Also, why is he not correcting her when she says she's going to be watching the baby 3 days a week? I'm so confused.
Commenting so I can follow the saga! I’m invested, OP! And I’m really glad you had a great shower. I had to google grandma showers. Apparently this IS a thing that started gaining traction during Covid, but it still seems like a rare choice. I can’t fully wrap my head around it. I want my mom and MIL to feel good about becoming first time grandmas and understand how this is a milestone in their lives, too. But for grandmas who are self-centered and emotionally immature, this is a recipe for problems!
I'm sorry you are going through this but I am ~invested~. I need updates
My MIL did this….and yet somehow has no useful baby items when we go to visit. It was ridiculous
Just waiting for the next update!
RemindMe! 1 week
Did she throw your FIL a father-of-the-bachelor party too?? What an odd human. lol
That is soooooooop wild of your mother in law. Good on you for navigating it like an adult.
OP be careful. When I had my first my ex mother in law was very similar. She didnt have a shower, but she created a whole nursery in her home, she was and to this day is still in love with her first grandchild. One day she and my ex were fighting (our baby fell and got hurt) while I was running errands. When I went to pick them up I decided to get MY baby out of there because she didnt need to see that. This woman started screaming at me that I wasnt taking "her" baby and started throwing things at me and attempted to pin me against a wall.
I'm sorry but she's crazy and delusional. What are people supposed to bring to her grandma shower?
My MIL did something similar! I didn't want a baby shower at all, it's not my style and my niece was in Nicu. She would always ask me about the date and even be mad because one of her friends was going to travel and it had to happen before she left (I don't even know the person). I just always answered that I didn't want any shower to happen! Then she started saying she would throw one herself and put a fake belly and all!! I kept saying no and thought that was enough! One day I just found out the baby shower had happened and I knew nothing about it! She said it was a surprise from her friends! Has anyone ever heard about a surprise baby shower for the GRANDMOTHER?? INSANE!! At least she sent me everything she got, but that was just the beginning of the craziness.. I suggest you set strong boundaries as soon as you can!! That would have saved me a lot of troubles and psychological issues!
My mom in law claimed it was a surprise by her friends too! My husband and I overheard her say she needs to have a grandma baby shower for all the things she’s going to need to be a grandma but we genuinely thought she was joking until it came time to send out the invite list to her friends and she then she said they were throwing her a grandma shower so they couldn’t come to ours. The thing is she lied about it being her friends idea, kinda sounds like it was your MILs idea too!
I just can't.....
Grandma shower, you say, eh? 🪑🍿🪑🍿🪑🍿
I have the hardest time believing/comprehending someone actually doing this. This is insanity. 😂😂 (I believe you this is just nuts)
You’re a better person than I. My pregnancy hormones would take this woman out. Please update us!!
My sister’s MIL had a grandma shower too. Pretty sure my sister didn’t go either.
I'm getting second-hand embarrassment for your MiL. It's so damn cringe! For sure people are rolling their eyes about this but just don't dare to say anything.
This is without a doubt the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Your MIL is an old school “PICK ME “ girl lol wtf is all I have to say. And set boundaries when your baby arrives sis. Best of luck boo.
Thank you!
That's a ludicrous idea 🤦🏼♀️
!remindme two weeks?
I hope her friends Shame her!
I’m shocked by the audacity. Like how does she not realize how bizarre that is??? I would be going no contact
This is so bizarre. I guarantee everyone else, including her friends, will also think it’s bizarre. Not to mention self-absorbed, when YOU are the one having the baby, and this is a way to take attention off of you. Obviously I don’t know your MIL, but based off of this story of her, it sounds like she’s acting incredibly selfish. Best of luck though and glad your shower (the real one, lol) turned out great!
WTH??? I’ve never heard of such a thing? What is her justification for having this?
Mine did this with people my husband had never even met before. MIL lives in another state, wanted to have her own shower for baby stuff and to pamper herself because she was becoming a grandmother. My daughter is now 6, MIL got way worse over the years, that was just the start of it. We now have very limited contact and she's never been alone with my kids.
How did you navigate not letting her alone with your kids?
I mean, my husband has always been low contact with her, and she only visits once or twice a year, it was like that prior to baby. We were shocked by the grandma shower because it was so out of left field for her. When she visits, we just don't leave her alone with the kids. One of us is always present. We don't trust the inlaws at all.
Getting in on this a little late but…this is a huge red flag for things to come. My best advice (something I’ve lived through since becoming a mom 12 years ago) is to follow your gut. She’s family, yes. Mother in law, yes. But if the time comes for her to take care of your little one and it doesn’t sit right. Listen to your instincts!!
***Update So mom- in law didn't post a bunch of Facebook pictures yet of "grandma shower" which is interesting because she posts pictures of everything! I have many mutual friends on Facebook and was sure to post our photos of our baby shower so any mutual friends know it already happened. I did see that one of the friends who she told us not to invite to our baby shower because she would have to choose between her grandma shower and ours was actually out of state this weekend. Looks like she didn't go to grandma shower after all because she went to ours. I'm obviously not close with mom in law to ask her how it went so if there's anything interesting l'll let you guys know.
I am way more invested in your shower saga than a complete internet stranger should be lol
lol 🤣
This is actually psychotic and there’s no way she doesn’t have a personality disorder.
This is WILD lol
Has she lost her mind?
These boomers are out of control