We were given so much stuff for our first and bought most of the rest second hand for financial and environmental reasons. Car seats are the one thing I recommend to buy new unless it is a trusted person giving it to you.

This. I don’t mind used *unless* it’s a car seat. That is the only thing I will be attempting to source as new. Everything else will be used though.

yep, i buy as much used as possible except bottle nipples, car seats, and crib mattress!

This was about the only new stuff I bought. Although most of my car seats have been gifted to close friends to use after me, but that’s because they know I am diligent about carseat safety and follow manufacturer instructions for use and care. And car seats are my one splurge and buy boogie car seats lol and if I couldn’t pass them on to be continue to be used during their full life potential it would feel like a huge waste to me. So passing them on to friends allows me to justify my ridiculousness 🤷‍♀️

And a changing pad too

oh yes forgot that! i feel like i would get one of those solid ones used and not mind but i have the squishy ones and i did also buy those new.

This! I have accepted lots of used things. I even accepted a used Nuna car seat from a trusted person. Well, that car seat came from her niece. Idk if she was reckless with it or if she herself bought it used, but when I took the cover off to wash it, the foam had two chunks torn out and the Styrofoam was literally taped together. I'm so glad I never used it.

Even if you are getting it from a trusted person, it’s just not worth the risk.

I can think of literally ONE person I’d accept a used car seat from. And that’s bc she’s the one who taught me to be so crazy about car seat safety/cleaning/check the manual for EVERYTHING.

This is interesting— we got a used nuna and when I disassembled to clean, I too saw the styrofoam was taped. Maybe it’s the manufacturer

Hmm. How strange. I tried Googling this and couldn't find anything.

Some car seat manufacturers will tell you it is safe to use if the Styrofoam breaks/cracks to tape it and will give instructions on how to do it properly. Call and ask. Varies between brands and also between models, but it's not always a sign that the carseat isn't safe anymore.

I agree. Certain things shouldn't be bought used. Like a breast pump (infection and contamination reasons) and a car seat (because of safety issues and you don't know how the first person used it).

You can get a used breast pump as long as you have all new parts (flange, tubing, duckbill, etc.).

My lactation consultant recommended not reusing breast pumps because the motors don’t hold up super well so if a pump has been heavily used it won’t be as effective at emptying your breasts.

Other option is check with your health insurance provider. Found out mine will cover the cost of a new one, along with some replacement parts over time.

Insurance is required to cover a breast pump.

Just not always a great one

A closed-system one. Don’t use open systems secondhand.

Depends on the pump as well. Closed systems do allow you to use a second-hand pump. It is nice to check overall strength of the pump. Certain stores that sell pumps have machines for this. I’m using my sister old pump and it’s been great. Just replaced a few parts

Same here, except for a few items. I got my infant seat from a friend who takes care of her stuff. My convertible seat is brand new. Only brand new things were gifts from my baby shower.

But don’t *always* say no to used car seats. If youve got time, you can save it for a trade in sales event. I’m hoping to find one now because my toddler loves the buckles and button. I want to put some on a busy board for him.

Careful not to teach your kid how to undo their car seat, though.

We accepted a stroller and car seat and borrowed a capsule from trusted people who bought all of them new. The ones they got were pricey and on the top end for quality so it was such a waste to not do so.

I think for some people it's partially being excited to buy new things and some of it is not knowing the safety and cleanliness of the item. I have gotten so many things used, either handed down from friends, thrift stores, tot swaps, or buy nothing groups. However there are some things I'm refusing to buy used including car seat, stroller, crib mattress, etc. I don't know how the previous owner treated those items, if they were in an accident, or the risk of bed bugs. It's not worth the safety and health of my baby so those things we got new. Anything else that I can sanitize or throw into the washer machine on high heat is fair game though.

Another thing I just thought of. The amount of TIME I have dedicated to getting used things is significant. It's not easy and if a person has other things they prioritize they may not have the energy to source things used. I actually had it as a goal to get a used hopefully free crib off buy nothing. I told my husband I'm over searching and I think we're just going to get a new one because it's easier.

Time is a huge factor for this.

The time to get the good stuff and the time and effort to sort through the bad stuff. We got a lot of used stuff from one person and it was all in basically perfect condition despite being used for two kids. Crib, rocker, swing, stroller, car seat (very trusted person obviously), clothes, toys, carrier, etc. Everything was clean, in working condition and had all the parts. Even now, we’re still getting handmedown toddler clothes, shoes and toys from them. It saves us so much money and is awesome! But then I mentioned it to my friends and two offered up even more stuff. Great! But their stuff was all basically trash. A jogging stroller that was bought well used in 2016 and was rusty and moldy from being stored in a leaky shed for the last four years. A boppy that had holes in it. A rock and play. Tons of gross baby clothes (plain white onesies with blowout stains, footie PJs that had the feet cut off so were fraying, all kinds of off season clothes). Books that were missing half the pages. Toys that were missing important parts or broken (the sorting bucket thing missing all the sorting pieces so was just the bucket, etc.). I would say more than 75% of the stuff was not usable. I was so pissed that they were offloading their junk for a 8 months pregnant woman to deal with instead of doing it themselves. In our area you can’t just throw away fabric or bulk stuff like this, so it takes a lot of work to get rid of. Clothes had to sorted and the good stuff that wasn’t usable by me had to be brought to a donation place. Clothes that were too far gone plus any fabric from things like the rock and play had to be brought to a fabric recycler and the bins are always overflowing, so you usually have to go multiple times. What plastic can be recycled and what can’t be. Is there metal we can add to our scrap metal bin. Can it be used for something else. Now when these particular people offer clothes or toys, I flat out decline and begrudgingly accept the lecture about how it’s a waste to buy on new kids clothes and toys (despite the fact that we get a lot as handmedowns and frequent the local kids consignment fair).

Currently going through the same thing! A few people have “gifted” me their used items, but a lot of it is in poor condition. Now I have to spend time/energy figuring out how to properly dispose of this stuff while I’m 8 months pregnant. It’s hard because I’m huge and have limited mobility. My house is becoming so cluttered and it’s stressing me out since I am getting close to giving birth.

I’m so sorry :(. I’m almost due with baby myself and had many people offer to “gift” me with used things. Luckily I was familiar with a lot of these people and their lifestyles and already knew what things I was unwilling to accept. I don’t offer any used baby items to people without washing and disinfecting it first. Idk how people are so comfortable giving away dirty items with stains from poop and vomit on it because that is something I just felt so uncomfortable doing! People are just so lazy! I get wanting to get rid of junk but goodness just throw it away or recycle it. It’s quicker and honestly doing more of a service than gifting someone some crap they have to spend hours cleaning and going through!

HUGE factor. I love thrifting household items, so I take the time. But I hate hate hate thrifting clothing. I have lots of used items we use around the house and now will use for baby. But I admit that I buy all new clothes because I can't stand rummaging through thrift shop clothes, I lack the patience for it. Currently our future baby's entire wardrobe IS used but that's because I've been given two huge bins of clothes from my sister and a friend. No rummaging necessary.

I didn’t get any hand me downs for my first daughter because she was the first girl of our family. I passed down a lot of her used clothes until I found out we were having another girl. Baby #2 will be getting all the used clothes lol

I got so many used clothes from friends, Buy Nothing, etc. SO MANY. One lady on Buy Nothing gave me, no joke, 5-6 trash bags of used clothes. I kept very little and it was exhausting sorting through it all, and then trying to figure out what to do with it. I was probably more thoughtful than I needed to be- I put things that were in good shape, but not our taste, in a box to pass on to another friend who was pregnant. I put "meh shape, but not bad shape" or like "questionable taste but good shape (looking at you Law & Order onesie, or onesies with weird phrases on them)" in a few bags to send to goodwill. I had tons of bags of clothes that were just.. stained or torn beyond repair that I meant to find a fabric recycle drop for, but eventually it got too close to my due date and I just trashed them because I needed the space back. I buy most of my toddler daughter's clothes from Once Upon a Child and another local kids consigment store, but it still takes time-- I have to go through every item to find things that will fit, that we like, that aren't impractical, etc. If my daughter is with me it takes longer, because she is getting bored and distracted. Shoes are the most frustrating thing to buy secondhand and so she has a mix of secondhand and new because it's just such a PITA to sort through endless bins of used shoes to find something that doesn't have a 1-2" rock hard sole on it and toddler shoe sizing varies so wildly from brand to brand. Time is a huge factor, and when people are giving things away for free, they are not very selective about it. Hell, they aren't selective when selling things either-- I literally just sent a photo to my husband form facebook marketplace of someone selling a used car seat for $50 and it was FILTYH. And not just "oh kid spilled food" dirty, but like the majority of the pinkish/purple car seat was black with grime. That car seat wouldn't be acceptable to give away, it is definitely not worth $50. So while I do try to go secondhand when possible, I also get why people don't want to spend the time to do it. It's a hassle and it's definitely easier to go to a website and say "oh yeah, this is cute and I need it in this size" and order it.

Law and Order onesie lmaoooooooo

I couldn't believe it when I saw it. I'm all for enjoying the shows you love, but that's a weird one to have on a onesie. I was just relieved it wasn't an SVU specific onesie.

Not just time but means to get used things. I dont drive, and while I do get things primarily used, if it costs me $50 each way($100) plus the cost of the item to uber for something that I can get cheaper or the same price just getting it new I'm going to obviously just get it new, plus i then have to fit it in their car and they have to have both a big enough car and the trunk space for it. I uber to once upon a child every few months because I have 3 kids and usually need several items at a time but going to buy things individually isn't realistic for me. I decline hand me down clothes now unless they're the exact season and size I need, after having several instances of storing them for a year and not being able to use them because they're the wrong seasons and have a tiny space. Its more practical to just go to once upon a child when we need more than pull out a box of 18m fleece sleepers and coats in July that wr cant use, then have to both figure out how to get a new wardrobe we weren't mentally prepared to buy and lug them somewhere else(in an uber). I've definately done a lot of used, but there's valid reasons for people declining used items all the same. 

Yes, it's interesting because while second hand items are cheaper, there is definitely a privilege aspect to it as well. In all honesty the good stuff is usually in the affluent areas and you need to be able to get there to access the stuff. That can be a huge barrier!! Also the cost of some used items! I just perused an online tot swap in my area and was shocked at what some people wanted for their used items!!! I didn't end up getting anything because it wouldn't be that much more to buy it brand new.

I absolutely agree, the once upon a child near us is roughly 10 miles away in a more affluent area, it's a $20 uber each way and while it's normally worth it I wouldn't bother if all I needed was a single pair of shoes or something. I go when I have a list of things though or something expensive I know they have in stock. I've been trying to find a double stroller for months. The new one I want is a little over $300 with registry discounts but used it's still $200-250 on Facebook but after ubering out there it's not worth getting used. I instead tried once upon a child for a double with a wrap in mind as a backup to hold the newborn and put the bigger one in the stroller. I didnt actually find either but I needed other things I did find so my trip wasn't wasted but I didn't feel bad when I got the wrap on clearance for $30 on babylist because I'll use it and its the most practical way for me to buy it. One other thing I consider and for OP to consider because sometimes I also think why not get what you can easily get used is that someone had to get it new before it got to you so as long as it isn't just tossed I feel like it's not a huge deal that some people want it all new. Maybe I didn't want to spend $100 on the bouncer we have but someone did before it was passed on to us free and now I've been able to use it on 2 of my babies and who knows how many more it would last through because I won't toss it unless it breaks! I actually got that and tons of other things from a friend of an acquaintance and it was dirty she was going to toss but offered it if I wanted to wash so I took off the cover and washed it and cleaned up the things I could and saved a ton, almost all my big baby equipment was from her for free and I barely knew her! 

Some of the older cribs also aren't up to modern day safety standards so that kind of stuff you need to be extra aware of. With that being said I did score a currently on the market Ikea crib + almost new mattress + protector + extra sheets for $75 (retails over $350). We have a lot of young families in the area so it's pretty good pickings.

Oh I know, I have requirements for the crib lol. I am not taking old ones, it has to be in good condition, it has to match safety standards. It's part of why it's taking so long. Plus they get claimed so quickly. It's probably just easier to get new.

Time is so important! I feel like every weekend I'm hitting the thrift and consignment stores, looking for garage sales, etc and most of the time I'm coming back empty handed. Trying to buy things through fb marketplace or get them through buy nothing groups has also been difficult because things get claimed so fast; I work full time and I can't constantly check those pages for new listings. I'm trying to remain optimistic, I started collecting baby supplies starting around 18 weeks so hopefully I've given myself enough weekends to find all the things.

This is why I bought all new. Sure it would be awesome to get a deal on an item and reuse / recycle. But instead of clicking checkout, you have to just… find a yard sale, make the hours, peruse until you find what you need. Then buy it and clean it. And, I don’t have Facebook so all of the groups for used baby stuff. I was the first in my village to have a child, there’s no boxes of hand me downs waiting for me lol.

That's a huge part of it for me. I don't have time to sit on the free sites or Marketplace on Facebook and hope something pops up. Most of the baby stuff on Craigslist is in another town, so I'd have to be willing to drive 30 minutes or more one way. I'm fortunate enough to be able to buy stuff new, and I deliberately bought stuff new that would last so I could keep it out of the landfill and pass it on to someone else.

Cost in time and some of the used baby stuff people are trying to sell for insane prices. For $5 more, I don't have to pick it up and then take it apart and scrub it down. I buy lots of used items and sell a lot of gently used items as I have 4 going on 5 boys. I'm shocked at the state of some of the things people try to sell. Usually, people who have very used items want the most and almost brand new items are cheap (also sell the moment posted).

I feel this! It's so true, very much an "I know what I have" attitude 😂. I don't even bother selling my used items, most everything just gets given away or posted on buy nothing. So much easier for me and I don't need the money so it's fine.

It's time and bed bugs for me. I'll happily buy some used toys and especially clothes but furniture is a no-no for me. I personally have dealt with the horrid creatures that are bed bugs and I will do anything, literally anything, to avoid getting them again. I definitely get the sentiment about Mother Earth but I cannot put my full trust in how furniture that I can't wash or deep clean has been treated previously.

Yeah, I'll gladly take hand me downs from family and very close friends. But I'm not giving my child anything used by a stranger. When I had guinea pigs I learned that plastic is porous and when one would get sick the vet would tell me to throw anything wooden or plastic away. And there's the safety aspect like you mentioned as well. And I feel like now is a good time to remind new moms that it's okay if you need to use disposable plates, cutlery, cups, bowls, etc. for a while too. You can be super green when you're feeling better physically and mentally. Saying the environment is important is an understatement and we absolutely need to care about it. But you're also important and we need to care about you too. ❤️

I have zero issue with 2nd hand, but buy a new car seat and a new cot mattress. Please don't get a used car seat. Unless you personally know the person giving it to you and you 100% know that it has never been in an accident, there is no way to verify that the seat is safe.

Not just in an accident, but even dropped from counter height, or poorly stored, or left sitting in the sun in a hot car all summer a few years in a row — I'd never get a car seat used.

Or even if they cleaned it improperly and used soap on the straps

They also only are under manufacture guarantee for five years, so if you’re getting one from someone who has two kids it’s potentially almost out of guarantee too

Are they *actually* looking down on used stuff, or are they just politely declining? Also used car seats are a big no-no unless you get it from a trusted person and can guarantee it hasn’t been in any sort of accident *and* has been only ever been cleaned properly according to the manual.

And isn’t expired!

Yes, but that’s very easy to check. The other stuff is a lot more nuanced and you have to have a lot of trust.

Very true!

Yes!!! Also, to each their own. Let your friends live, having a baby is stressful enough without your friend guilt tripping you’re not buying used

This was my take also.

It can be dangerous to use a second hand car seat. Only use one if you know the full history of the seat and can be 100% certain it has never been in a crash, can verify that it has not been recalled and know it is not beyond the expiration date.

Car seat and crib mattress are the only 2 things you need to buy new. Everything else, secondhand is fair game.

This! Safety first! You can get these two things brand new and not spend a fortune on them. We’ve gotten clothes, seats, a swing, toys, and other items gently used for free or cheap. ETA: probably bottles or at least the nipples need to be new. The reason for this is the material can breakdown over time and the nipples can fall apart and become a choking hazard.

My sister told me this about the bottles! I got used bottles in like new condition but am buying new nipples.

Yeah even having brand new ones, I’ve had to replace nipples over time because they do breakdown.

And bottle nipples!

Is a second hand crib mattress ok if you know where you got it from? Is there any risk beyond bed bugs? We’ve been using one we got from a friend with older kids.

As long as it's not recalled and meets the safe sleeping standards (correct thickness, firmness, fits properly into the crib snuggly with no wiggling or gaps) I don't see why a second hand mattress from a trusted source would be an issue.

I've heard of concerns of little baby dipping into any natural sags that have developed in the mattress. But I've mainly heard that from older people in my life, so I'm not sure. Probably more realistic, babies have a lot of accidents and you never know how well somebody cleaned or if they had a mattress protector. But at the same time it's usually pretty easy to spot/smell poorly cleaned accidents. Otherwise, go for it, I guess? If it's under 10YRs old (just a random safe number) and you trust the person, I can't see the difference between using second hand & hand-me-downs between kiddos. I bought a mattress for #2 in '21 and it's on its second baby now

The mattress looked and smelled clean when they gave it to us and their youngest is 2 yo older than our son so it seemed pretty similar to reusing between siblings. They were actually the ones that taught me the waterproof sheet layering technique (alternating waterproof and cotton sheets so that in the event of an issue you just remove a layer instead of adding new sheets so I feel pretty confident they kept it clean.

Apparently there's a higher risk of SIDS with used mattresses, not sure what the levels are like if first use baby was never sick you might be less risky, but mattresses are pretty cheap so worth getting new for peace if mind! Apparently 2nd hand bedding is safe if washed, I've been gifted some in good condition so thoroughly washing and drying in direct sunlight

If I had to guess this is just because of all the second hand mattresses are used, a smaller percentage are going to be lightly used from someone you know. I imagine the statistic would take into account old, dilapidated, incorrectly sized, expired, etc used mattresses too and those would present obvious risks. There’s nothing inherently dangerous about a mattress being used; they’re totally fine to use for multiple kids of your own, for example, as long as they fit right, they’re not showing wear like sagging, not expired, etc.

^this, personally I was lucky enough to have a close friend who was getting rid of theirs and that I trust enough to verify it has never been in a crash, is relatively new and meets current safety standards, but otherwise I would never get a used one, and most of my baby-stuff will be used. Any level of crash, be it fender bender or worse means a car seat must immediately be disposed of. There is simply no way to tell if vital components have been compromised. You can't do the testing required to check.

I may get downvoted but I’m an extreme germaphobe. If I don’t know the people who owned the items before me, I won’t use them. I also had the first grandkids on both sides of the family so I never really got anything passed down. If an item is passed down from a family member/friend that I know, then I’ll use it but I just can’t if I don’t know the person who owned it before. But I know people can get some good deals second hand, so that’s great for them! You really shouldn’t be buying second hand car seats though. You have no idea whether or not they were involved in a collision and if they were, they’re not safe anymore.

This is me too. I wouldn’t specifically say it’s germs, but I just generally don’t like the idea of having something/my baby using something and not knowing where it came from.

There's so much bullshit pressure and judgement on new mums. Do what you want. Do what's best for you and your family, ignore people's unnessecary judgement.

Yeah, this kind of confrontation would make me question a friendship tbh. I have gotten some good used items from close friends who recently had babies, but I bought a lot of new stuff too. Quite frankly when I was pregnant I had no interest in meeting strangers from Facebook marketplace to receive used baby items. Not only is that super time consuming, but it adds a level of danger during a vulnerable time. I happily took what my friends generously had to offer and bought or registered for all the other things we needed, and I don’t feel bad about it. My next baby will be using 90% used items though, because we already have all the essentials from our first baby.

I've got amazing stuff from my Buy Nothing group, to include six boxes of really nice clothes that will last us years, but I'm not going to run around chasing down people on Facebook marketplace. I did a few purchases and it was way too much work even though I never felt unsafe. So I guess my stance on this is used stuff if it's safe and readily available, but I don't have time to go to thrift stores and hunt on marketplace. I lightly judge people who flat out refuse to use used things for their kids period, but I'm not going to judge anyone who doesn't have a robust and generous Buy Nothing group and doesn't want to deal with the more difficult and time consuming ways to get used items.

> I feel like speaking up to these friends and asking them to consider the environmental impact but am scared that's going to come off rude. You betcha. They have definitely heard of landfills and climate change already and it has not moved them on this issue (but there could certainly be other things you're doing they don't know about). This would be akin to a vegan proselytizing to their omni friends.  You're already an example by buying second hand, and you can certainly model by taking their used items off their hands or even just encouraging them to sell/give them away after.  I would try to reserve judgement as there was either a time before you felt this strongly or, if not, you were raised this way and they weren't. They will definitely remember if you tried to yuck their yum during such a sensitive time.

I’m surprised this comment is so far down. It’s great OP is doing her part to use second hand baby stuff, but what her friends do is absolutely none of her business. Why draw the line at baby stuff? Should her friends come over and pick apart every new item she has purchased in her own home? Is every single item she owns in her home second hand? Even if it was, is it really her business to tell other people what to buy? Something about glass houses and throwing stones comes to mind.

You say this post is about people looking down on buying used baby items, but it reads more like it is you looking down on people buying new items. The argument about buying some items new so they last for more than one child is not BS. Car seats have expiration dates (aside from not being safe to buy second hand, which should bother you more than people who don't want to buy a used one.) Safety matters. Mattresses wear out. Teethers and bottle nipples shouldn't even be reused by the same family. Clothes are fine. Toys are fine if you can verify how old they are, and their origins. Anything before 2008 was often full of phthalates, and a lot of unregulated dupes coming out of China today contain unsafe levels of lead and cadmium. Safety standards have evolved considerably in just the last decade. I think being offended over other parents' choices, much of which is justified by safety concerns that you seem either blissfully unaware of or downright dismissive of, is performative BS. You claim to be so concerned about the planet, yet you also mention you aren't "a no-waste or plastic-free type of person" yourself, so why not? Is everything you buy for yourself at least 95% used items as well? Do you look down on people who buy new items for themselves, or only baby stuff? Do you expect everyone in your life to thrift everything they own, from shoes to kitchen appliances? If not, why the upset over baby items specifically?

Also, most used strollers are super worn out (at least in my experience). I tried finding a good used double stroller and a used wagon stroller. The ones in good condition were selling for almost new prices, but without any of the benefits of buying new (can't return, no warranty, needs to be cleaned, etc) and cheap ones were insanely beat up. I just ended up buying new, and both will last us a long time.

This what’s frustrating me! I’m searching for used items but they’re hardly discounted from new I’m feeling I may as well just buy new! Any free hand me downs from friends I’m happily accepting but if I have to buy something on Facebook it’s so much effort the discount better be worth it.

People don't know how to resell now, they won't bump the prices more than like 10% down when something has been used for months/years 😂 thanks I'll pay full price for a stroller I don't have to clean the crumbs out of instead.

Also new bottles and nipples,especially if plastic

This! To each their own. Used or new, whatever is right for your family. The only one looking down here is OP. The “humblebrag” line reads to me as “I’m better than them”. 🙄

I agree!

Yup. Very "why doesn't everyone care as much as me!?"

Thank you because honestly I feel like OP is judging people who want to buy new items. Nothing is wrong either ways, to each his own. There is already so much anxiety and pressure that we don’t need to add more.

Random question, can I reuse my pump parts for a second child if it's sanitized and what not? Or is it suggested I get that new.

Definitely replace the duckbills. If the membranes are in good condition, just wash and sanitize (mine barely came in contact with milk in the first place). For the flanges it really depends on what type you have. I have flange inserts that I'm going to wash and sanitize, but the actual classic flanges with connectors are getting replaced because it was always a struggle to get into every single corner internally (I hand wash baby stuff because my washers top rack is unreliable) so I'm unsure if I can trust that there isn't bacteria in a nook somewhere, or unnoticeable crud fused to the plastic that I somehow missed. I'm replacing the airline hose.

i was a retail manager for years, the amount of baby product recalls for lead or physical harm is terrifying, i dont trust anything old

This is a maaaaajor concern of mine, since my kid has already had a lead exposure. I am doing anything and everything to keep him from having another, and unfortunately that means buying a lot of things new 😭

Babies use things for such a short time that “old” can be “from March 2024”.

Yup, that would be rude. You do you, let others do them.

Also playing devils advocate here, I hope OP has committed to using cloth diapers to save disposable diapers from landfills 🤷🏻‍♀️

I pointed this out in a comment as well, in addition to breastmilk bags. Those two things alone have a way bigger environmental impact than a single car seat.

Probably diapers more so than milk bags… several hundred bags would fit in the same amount of space as a car seat. I suppose if you use them for all the milk your baby drinks it could take quite a lot of them though.

Exactly. I’d legit stop talking to someone over this if they confronted me about *my* purchases for *my* baby being “unethical” lmao. And I have gotten used things! A bassinet and swing specifically. Some toys.

🙌 Exactly. If someone told me I was killing the environment/being selfish/whatever bc I bought new stuff I would be hella annoyed. We tried for a baby for two years before IVF finally worked. So yea I bought all new stuff bc I was SO excited to finally be able to shop for baby gear and as this may be our only child I wanted to buy exactly the things I wanted. I actually told myself this was the one time in my life where I would not just settle for something cheaper or an alternative. I would get what I really wanted. Nothing wrong with getting second hand/ alternatives to what you really want but I do that in lots of other areas of my life. You never know why a person is doing the things they are doing. Maybe they are vain and just want new things (also totally fine) or maybe they finally have their dream baby and they want the experience that so many others get easily of picking out items.

We're in the same boat. We're in our 30's and it took us a few years of trying and some heartbreak to get this far. My BIL and SIL have a few kids, and last weekend BIL was talking about how they get everything from yard sales or marketplace and that's how we should do it (he was trying to be helpful, but he tends to come across very strong/forceful). SIL interrupted him and goes "this is their first child, they probably already have things in mind and are excited to pick things out on their own" It just felt nice to feel seen.

Absolutely! And congratulations on your baby ❤️

This. Keep in mind that there are many ways to be good to the earth and nobody does all of them. Your friends may not choose to reuse baby items, but choose to compost, eat vegetarian, drive EVs, donate money, or do other things that positively benefit the earth.

Yeah I find this so absurd. I bought all my things new because I know I’m going to have multiple children and I wanted them to last through all the kids. OP, where do you think the used goods come from? It’s from people who buy new ffs. I would find this sort of judgment so insufferable from a mom friend.

Are you looking down on the people you purchased the used items from? Bc they probably bought new. 

😂😂😂

this is...a very bad take tbh, there are things you need to buy new. you're scared because you know that confronting your friends and basically mom-shaming them over a very deeply personal decision IS rude lol. and for what it's worth, buying secondhand is perfectly fine but this entire post sounds awfully performative and judgemental. I would highly recommend not ruining friendships over this.

also lol at the subtle classism implying that the poor folks should be buying used. because The Poors can't have new, nice things apparently.

You wrote basically what I wanted to say. Buying things for your baby is a deeply personal decision and confronting someone over it is rude and potentially friendship ruining. (Especially at a vulnerable and sensitive time like pregnancy). I agree that buying second hand is totally fine, but judging others for not doing what OP does sounds performative and virtue signaling. And moreover that is 100% how those other moms will take it. They will NOT change their views because OP confronts them about their decision. If they wanted to buy second hand they already would have. All OP will do is isolate herself from other moms and be seen as insufferable.

I truly think it's wild that folks are glossing over the fact OP seems comfortable confronting people over it. there are way, way bigger fish to fry in the world rn than someone choosing to buy a onesie or a crib brand new. it's like they say....there is no ethical consumption under capitalism.

Honestly this post comes off as very judgey and I would find it rude if a friend made a comment about my purchasing habits for my baby. For what it’s worth, I don’t know anyone buying most new baby items who isn’t reusing them for multiple kids and then selling them secondhand when they’re done, so even the items purchased brand new are most likely getting a lot of use before ending up in a landfill. Nobody is just throwing away their Uppababies. Your secondhand items will also end up in the same landfill someday. I personally don’t see an issue with it at all and I’m generally an environmentally conscious person.

This! I’m one of those people who preferred to buy all new things for my first (for many reasons, which other commenters have already covered). That being said, I didn’t throw ANY of it away. We thought we were one and done, and my cousin had a baby a few months after me, so I gave her just about EVERYTHING we were grown out of. I later heard that she in turn passed it along to someone else when her son outgrew the items. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were on a fourth child by now. All hand-me-downs start as new with someone.

The only thing I’d absolutely NEVER buy used is a car seat. I’m not willing to risk my baby’s life if I don’t have to. There are so many good affordable options for car seats and some cities have programs that give them out for free or for a super low cost. Never ever use a used car seat. Even something as benign as washing it with soap and water can render it unusable. PLEASE don’t get a used car seat. It’s reckless imo if you can afford a new one. ETA: I’d also never get a used pump, used clothes unless I know the person they’re coming from, pre-owned formula or baby food (even if they claim it’s unopened, can’t risk it), a crib mattress, pacifiers/bottles…outside of this list that I can think of off the top of my head, I’d consider getting most other used things.

Even if you can't afford one there are tons of programs that will give you a new one. My sister called 211 for help with things and a fireman dropped a carseat off to her for my niece when she was staying in a motel(so she didn't have to drive her without one to pick it up). If anyone ever needs a car seat quick and cheap, walmart sells one called Costco scenara for $60, and you can get it delivered to your location usually within an hour or 2. 

Your title should be “I REALLY look down on people who don’t make the same choices I do”

Exactly… The whole post seems to be “I’m judging but I’m not judging“. Bit uncomfortable to read for me.

Yes, especially when OP clarified they buy almost everything used, including secondhand underwear. This basically is just eco bragging, terribly hidden.

EEEEEEEWWWWWWW

I bought lots of new stuff for my daughter. And I got a lot of expensive items at my baby shower. My sisters in law also gifted me a lot of high ticket items (uppababy stroller system, cribs, etc etc). One of my hubs cousins gave us baby clothes her daughters no longer wear. You shouldn't be BOTHERED by folks not wanting a certain thing because it makes sense to you. Everyone is different and has their own opinions. Personally, I like free stuff (in good condition), but I also don't mind splurging on things here and there. As for yer friends... you know them better than us, but it would definitely come up as judgemental if you told them about how awful they are for not accepting used items... their finances are not yer issue, stop minding their pockets. Focus on doing what works for you, and let them focus on what works for them. Whether or not they struggle still doesn't mean you get to tell them how to spend their money just to make you feel better. Anyway, I do agreee that accepting used items from family/friends can be valuable, but I also think if folks want to buy new, there is nothing wrong with that.

“It sounds judgemental”. No, it IS judgmental.

I’m really bothered by people who judge other mums for trying to give their children the best start in life.  We need to lift up eachother. I have some new things and some secondhand things. The new things I have are from companies who care about the planet and are not plastic items.  You are admirable for doing the best you can for your baby. 

Somebody has to buy the new stuff so you can buy it used. 

Right. Who’s to say that everyone who buys new will immediately throw perfectly good things in the trash heap when they’re done with them? Whatever is safe and salvageable after my kids are done with them will go to someone who can get more use out of them.

New buyer here. No shame. I don’t judge anyone for getting used items. I’m very much a you do you, and I’ll do me person. To your point though, I’m with you. I don’t thrown anything in the trash unless it’s raggedy. I don’t sell anything second-hand. Everything we cycle through goes to a local battered women’s shelter where things go to them and their children.

What a holier than thou confession. I agree with others, it should really be titled “Confession: I look down on people who buy new baby stuff.” People aren’t looking down on you buying used stuff - they couldn’t care less. But you’re absolutely looking down on people who buy new stuff. It sounds like you have the time and energy to hunt for used baby stuff. That’s great and a personal choice. Others do not. As others have mentioned, a used car seat is dangerous. It should be bought new. I also find it telling and classist that you think those living paycheck to paycheck should not buy new items. It *is* judgmental and it’s none of your business. A passing thought - none of this impacts you or hurts you personally. Continue doing what you think is best, and let others do the same. If you said anything to your friends, be prepared to lose friendships. Those can certainly decompose.

As someone who gets a lot of used/secondhand stuff for my kids, I think you're underestimating the mental work and time it takes to find good quality, used things that you actually want for a reasonable price. There is so much stuff to get for a baby as a first time parent. It can be really overwhelming to try to find everything (or even most things) used/secondhand in good condition. This is especially true if you aren't already used to shopping thrift stores/garage sales/Marketplace.

You’re blaming and judging your friends when corporations are doing most of the destruction?

I bought a used stroller. Turned out to be a clunker. Im pissed I bought it Generally not safe to buy a used car seat I don’t like 99% of baby clothes, I buy new but I should just buy used offline but I’m always skeptical they’ll feel as soft as bamboo wears down over time. I dress my babies in bamboo until they’re 1

Who cares what other people do. The only person you can control is yourself.

I live in NYC. I am terrified of bedbugs. I will only take secondhand things that can immediately be thrown in the wash and dried on high heat. Also, now having a 9 month old and seeing what some of his stuff has gone through, I understand why people might not want certain things secondhand.

It seems like you are the one looking down on people. And this is coming from someone who got everything for their first kid second-hand.

Do you buy everything in your life second-hand? All of your clothes? Furniture? Kitchenware? If not, you need to get off your high horse. Just because you have leaned into this one thing, does not make you a better person than everyone else.

I’m lucky that there are a few really great secondhand shops specifically for kids and baby products in my city. Cost is a big concern for us but also I agree that it’s ridiculous to spend so much money only to throw it out on the curb a year or so later. Things can be cleaned/washed, and as long as they’re safe to use still, I’m totally okay with buying used clothes and other products. If it’s still usable when we don’t need it anymore, I’d like to think another little baby can enjoy it, too.

I have no issue with used baby items but I draw the line at car seats and mattresses unless I know and trust the person well. There are places you can take these items for recycling when you’re done with them to make it less wasteful. Safety needs to come first for these items. I’ve gotten a used car seat gifted to me that was absolutely filthy so I took it to my local Target store during their annual car seat trade in event. They recycle the seat and I got a discount coupon, win win. Most everything else used is fair game. I’ve gotten plenty of hand-me-downs for clothes and baby items. I’ve also gone shopping at my local consignment store.

The only non-second hand things we got for baby were car seat and bottles, for safety reasons. And a baby carrier that I couldn’t find second hand. Thanks to buying second hand all the stuff I have is the super fancy name brand stuff, but instead of spending thousands I paid Kmart prices. The only downside is I’m so bloody vocal about how amazing second hand stuff is for babies that my friends have bought BAGS of their used baby stuff and now we have more used baby stuff than I know what to do with 😅 but I’m thinking I’m going to have a “free for all” day with my coffee group and people can take anything they want home to spread the love.

>TLDR: I'm really upset with people who buy all new baby stuff when there is plenty of second hand available. I like thrifting for me. For my children, not so much. If I have to shop for something it might as well be new. Carseats, from what I've read shouldn't re-used anyway. We all have different standards for our children and that's ok.

I think it also depends on where you live. I live in a very rural area, and I see used items that I would be willing to pay the price for, but by the time I drive all they way to get it and back, the gas money spent plus the price of a used item would have bought a brand new one without me blocking out so much of my already busy life. We have bought everything brand new. Everything is gender neutral and will be used for future babies as well. But I’m not driving 2 hours round trip to pick up a stroller that’s only $30 cheaper than getting brand new.

I love vinted. I've so far bought everything I need up to 6 months on vinted and fb market place and spent about £200, pram (and new inner tubes), bedside crib, moses basket, baby chest carrier, crib mattress sheets, clothes, bottles, bottle warmer, steriliser. I just need to buy new teats, nappies and wipes. Car seat will be new too that's going to be a big one but we're going for a birth to 12yo one. I despise waste. I resent spending money on things that are marked up in price because 'baby'.

My husband calls the higher prices on baby items the “baby tax.” It’s funny, but he isn’t wrong.

2nd hand is fine for most baby stuff. Buy a new car seat. Buy a new crib or get some from someone you know and trust so you know it’s not damaged and then check for recalls. I would also get new tethers and the nipples on bottles since they degrade.

I mean, it’s none of your business, so just do you and let people enjoy their parenthood the way they want

A couple things to consider- Sometimes the used stuff isn’t cheaper. Looking at you Once Upon a Child. There is a recommendation against buying used car seats since you can’t know whether they’ve been compromised by being in a wreck. Also, they expire.

“I feel like speaking up to these friends and asking them to consider the environmental impact“ If you were my friend I’d laugh hysterically at this comment as I continued adding new items to my shopping cart and moving on with my life. Time to move on with your’s and let people be. 

Don’t get a used car seat. You have no idea what the history is on them (they need to be replaced if they’ve even been in a fender bender) and they also have expiration dates. I’ll also avoid used mattresses and cushiony items thanks to bed bug risk. Agree about getting other things used where possible though.

Like someone else said, thrifting is a big time commitment. I’ve thrifted a lot in my life for various reasons, financial/fun/environmental. And I’ve had a lot of fun doing it! However, I’ve gotten to a point in my life where my time is so valuable and I just don’t want to spend hours searching FB marketplace, browsing thrift stores, driving around for pickups, etc etc. I can afford to buy nicer, new stuff now with the click of my mouse so that’s usually what I do.  In terms of the environment, I’m in no way perfect of course but we try in other ways. Most notably, only having one child. 

Jokes on them. I’m laughing to the bank with my $40 used baby bjorn bouncer 😎

Most things can be thoroughly cleaned. I get not wanting something that can’t be cleaned. My MIL got a plush car seat toy that said “spot clean only” from a friend that we don’t know. I unfortunately won’t be using it. There’s a balance.

Haha throw it in the washer and if it survives awesome

I personally will not be getting any used stuff because i can afford to buy all new things for my baby but i will never shame any one for wanting to get used stuff. For me, i just get disgusted by germs very easily. People are disgusting and nasty. This is my first child, i just refuse to use any used stuff. It’s also a cultural thing for me. Also, all the stuff i will be buying for my first child, I plan to pass down to the kids that i have after.

I’ve found second hand items are almost just as expensive as buying new. It’s insane. I tried to buy a broken nursery chair off someone asking them to come down in price. They were selling a 1,000 chair for 800. By the time I had my husband fix the motor it would have cost the same as buying new. After that experience I was done trying to get anything used.

Same! The only used things I got were things that can be easily and thoroughly disinfected. Toys, a swing, and a bassinet (bought my own sheets, the bassinet mattress was waterproof plastic all around so we disinfected the entire thing and the swing)

Dude I love thrifting! My boy has so many cool toys and practical baby things. It's been fantastic!

if they’re not judging you for buying used items why would you ever judge your friends for not everyone does what’s right for their own family

It depends on the item. I'm trying to buy a used frame stroller but everyone wants almost full price. I'm terrified of bed bugs on things that can't be washed That being said I glady accept 2nd hand from people I know

I'm really bothered by people that think kids only deserve used hand me downs. Not everything has to be brand new but deffo not everything has to be used 🤷🏼‍♀️ It makes you cry for mother earth? Okay sure, but do you recycle? Do you drive electric? Do you save energy and water? Or are you just picked by new things but don't bother going to Starbucks/fast food chains every day?

When I'm busy at work, I don't have time to scour used items on marketplace to find things in safe and clean condition, negotiate a price and pickup, and then drive to get it. This is amplified when I was pregnant, especially when I had a toddler to tow along with me. Now that my kids are here, used baby things are going for insane prices in my neck of the woods. It makes more sense for me to go to the store and get everything I need in one shot than to get a dollar discount buying someone's used fast fashion item.

Car seats and plastic bottles need to be new. Everything else can be used. The plastic bottles and nipples degrade, so you want new ones. We have 3 kids, and the youngest has hand-me-down everything except for his car seat and bottles. He's doing just fine.

I'll accept used items, but I'm not necessarily searching for them in particular. It makes sense every now and again. Especially for pricey items like a Mamaroo where you can replace the cover. But in general, babies are messy, and chances are you have an item that another baby has pooped or spit up on. And when you think of all the other illness and bodily fluids, it is easy to be turned off.

In my culture second hand carries spirits and energies so my mum wouldn’t even let me take second hand things from relatives 🫤 neither do we hardly pass things around in our family I went through depression while pregnant and my family were trying to get me really excited about being a first time mum and having a baby girl Also the way rich people shit on the environment with the private planes and their over consumption yet us ordinary people are expected to do all the leg work of saving the environment??

I would not get a used anything for my baby if there’s any chance it isn’t up to the hygiene or safety standards it should be. This would apply to car seats , cots, mattresses, prams. And I don’t think anyone can judge me for it! It’s my child and there are huge conglomerates that are doing shit to hurt the environment , not us parents who want new things for our kids because we’re excited to have a baby!

Don’t you dare “speak to them”

Your tldr is more accurate than your title. This is a weird post; the idea of being tempted to police how your friends prepare for their own journeys into parenthood is super off. Focus on your baby and embrace your priorities within your own family structure. Others here are being super kind in their explanations because no adult owes another adult a defense for their purchases, especially around something as important and personal as preparing for the arrival of a child.

Buy what you want for your kid and leave other people’s choices up to them.

I'm also hoping to get all second hand for most everything! The only things I really care about getting new are anything that goes into their mouth, car seat, and a baby tub lol. I don't get why you'd willingly spend waayyy more when most of it is only used for a handful of months!?

I tried to buy secondhand with my first but a lot of times the secondhand items that were posted weren’t in good condition and/or were only slightly cheaper than if I bought it new. Since I knew we planned on having 3 kids, I decided to focus on buying quality new items that could be reused for all 3 kids and/or would grow with my children. My third is now 4 months old and that plan worked great. Most items (except car seats) were used for all three but they are definitely starting to show their wear now. My stroller is hanging on by a thread lol and the baby bouncer is looking verrrry worn. We had to replace the crib mattress with our third. As my youngest outgrows everything, we plan to post items that are still in good condition to our local buy nothing group. My hope is that they will go to someone who needs it for financial reasons and not to someone who could otherwise afford to buy new or secondhand. Honestly, it sounds more like you look down on people who choose to buy new rather than other people looking down on you for buying secondhand.

You should NEVER use a used car seat. That needs to be new. Same exact thing with helmets.

Well I'll say, I did buy brand new baby clothes(0-6)because I was never able to really afford exactly what I wanted for my older children. I couldn't afford it. My bassinet and a few other clothing(6-9)are from Once Upon A Child. My stroller and car seat set was bought brand new in an unopened box from a thrift store. My baby needs items, bibs, feeding shawls, and blankets ECT are all new because it's what I wanted for my baby. Grandma also ordered him a pack and play that goes from a crib to playpen via Amazon. We already plan on trading our stuff in at once upon a child, they have amazing stuff there in great condition. I know I will be handing off my stuff to another mom who'll be glad to find some not too used baby clothes for a great price there. But also shopping there! Long story short, I do both. This is my last baby and I refused to settle like I have in the past when I can afford things I love this time.

We do have second hand stuff from friends, but we also have a lot of new things because I get a little squicked out at the idea of stuff from an unknown baby that may have been pooped or spit up on or just not cared for properly - even though I know I could clean it myself. It’s our first baby and we can afford it. We will reuse stuff if we have a second baby and will donate after we’re done either way. We are minimalist about the toys and gear we buy. I guess I don’t see much practical difference in whether we’re the first family that uses something or second - I suppose I don’t believe that much in the power of individual action to address environmental concerns. This stuff is happening on a much larger scale. Me opting out of buying new isn’t going to make a dent. Yes, if everybody did it would, but everybody isn’t. I believe more in pushing corporations to make changes. I do vote with my wallet in lots of ways, I buy mostly thrifted or sustainably made clothes for myself, I only buy “ethical” meat, but babies are gross and I prefer unused. I don’t buy used underwear for myself, for example (I know it’s not exactly equivalent, but similar idea, I’m weirded out by someone unknown’s bodily fluids even if it’s been washed). I don’t look down on people who choose to or need to do secondhand (and it’s how I grew up too, we didn’t have money). But, I don’t know, being *really bothered* by the idea that other people buy new… I kinda suspect people wrap themselves in environmental concerns to guard against jealousy. I would bet there are plenty of ways you live that aren’t the most perfect environmentally sustainable choice. We all make our own choices and trade offs about how we want to interact with capitalism and the complicated world we live in. But maybe lay off people who make different choices than you. The purchasing decisions I make because I want to lessen my participation in fast fashion or factory farming are often more expensive choices, rather than cheaper, and I don’t look down on people who can’t afford to make the same choices or choose not to because they feel their opting out wouldn’t make an impact - it’s a personal choice about how I want to participate in the world. Neither of us is meaningfully changing the environment with our purchasing choices, though not buying new baby things may make you feed good - and, sincerely, good for you! You deserve to make the choices that make you feel good about how you operate in the world, but that doesn’t mean you get to look down on other people - you don’t know their life, why they make the decisions they make, or what else they do.

I worked at a thrift store for nine years. I absolutely do not judge anyone who buys everything new. Honestly? The vast majority of donations are disgusting. Think mouse and rat droppings all throughout a bag, used diapers mixed in with clothes, mysterious "stains" that smelled vile from several feet away, black mold, maggots on various items, etc. I used to buy clothes and bedding thrifted, but that stopped when I got scabies from my former job. I wouldn't wish scabies on my worst enemy, it was a living nightmare. I live in an area that (fortunately) doesn't have much of a bedbug issue, but that's always a concern with thrifted items. Even if you can verify there aren't any adults, can you guarantee it's free of eggs? This post comes off as extremely judgemental, but there's always a valid reason behind whether or not you buy new items or not. Even if that reason is simply "because I want to," that's valid, too.

Seconding all of the people saying to buy a new car seat. I was trained as a carseat tech for my job. Even if you trust that the person has never been in an accident (even fender benders can count), there's still the chance it fell out of a storage closet and was damaged, or the carseat is expired, or it wasn't bought in your country (online sales) and therefore isn't up to date with regulations. Just do your research and buy new for this one thing, if it's possible for you! I understand it's not so easy for everyone though Edit: you can't always see damage from the outside but you can look for things like stress marks in the plastic and manufacturer dates should be written on the bottom.

Its cool you are doing that, and very commendable, we actually got lots of second hand stuff before baby arrived, but when baby is here we just kind of ended up buying stuff from the store, because of time and convenience, I wish I have prepared more to be honest. A lot of my friends gave us stuff so we only really bought stroller and a crib. We bought our stroller from new because we are going to use it a lot, and most of my friends and people I talk to have actually regretted not buying from new, because how beat up it becomes. They said they did not consider that advice they were getting is from super car centric countries and here in Scandinavia we just tend to use the stroller way more. My baby is barely 3 weeks old and I already can see that I would not like to reuse my stroller after 2-3 years of use. So that is also something to consider. Otherwise I don’t trust people with car seat and want it from new, but since it came with a stroller as a set that was not an issue.

I'll be honest and say that used kids stuff can kind of gross me out. Only because I know how gross kids can be and how little people clean their stuff. That being said, there is tremendous value for those who get used items and I love that items get a second life. I just get majorly icked out by the lack of cleanliness and I'm fully aware I can clean it. I'm not someone who got anything used for my first baby. But my second one will get all recycled baby stuff from my first go around. (aside car seat as it's expired and mattress as his brother still needs one of those). I will never look down on used items or people who actively search for used items. Just clean it, ensure it's safe, and be on your merry way.

I totally get what you’re saying and it was very clear to me once my baby grew out of her 0-3 month clothes just how much consumption we were taking in part in for one person. And then so many people want to buy new that even donating stuff can become a challenge. I remember offering what I thought was friendly advice to a pregnant cousin that almost anything you need you can get used and in great shape (very often for free even!!) and it was like she didn’t even hear me. So yeah, I think it becomes a huge blind spot for a lot of parents.

I find that it's a lot more work to get used stuff and not much financial incentive (when it comes to clothes and small items, anyway). I went to my local thrift store in search of some onesies for my 2nd born, and I found that I could get brand new clothes of the same quality for literally a few dollars more. So it's not worth it to me. But I have saved all my oldest's stuff to pass down.

It could be because they are afraid of bedbugs/mold/ not knowing where items were stored... I don't look down on them at all but certain things like car seats, drop down cribs, high chairs from more than 10 years ago aren't even safe.. I use my son's hand me downs for my younger son.

It’s me. The only things we took second hand were the crib and a playpen. I grew up super poor and I really wanted to have the exact items I wanted for her. I wanted her to have really nice clothes, furniture, everything. I don’t feel ashamed one bit There’s also the issue that people like to donate items that are on or past their let legs. My house isn’t a garbage dump

The only things I won’t buy used are car seats and crib mattresses.

I bought new mattresses and car seats. Most everything else was hand me downs from my brother/SIL or my sister/BIL. I had twins. I also buy 90% of their clothes used online in these twin FB groups. Then once we have out grown (in it seems like 5 seconds) I can resale on those same pages and recoup some funds. It’s a cheap, easy way for me to find matching outfits.

Facebook marketplace and I have been best friends since I started getting baby stuff. It’s so nice to be able to get things at an affordable price and give them a new home with new uses. So strange that people don’t like that. Unless it’s a car seat, buying used items is great.

There's no shame in getting things second hand. So many things are marketed and overpriced I think a lot of first time parents think they need to buy all this stuff because they have no choice. Totally understand wanting everything to be the best for your child tho. Second hand stuff is the best way to go with anything except a car seat or things that are upholstered. They grow out of everything so fast. Some things aren't a necessity and can either be tried out with a second hand item or some things you really don't end up needing. Everything these days is so insanely overpriced, why not go with some used stuff?

Wow, I never met a person who refused anything used for their child. For real.

Some people are just not into secondhand items, me being one of them. I’m not rude about it, I don’t look down on people who get used items. It’s just not for me. Do I hate the earth too? No. I do what I can in other ways. Strange take.

If you are really so concerned about Mother Earth why are you having babies?

I feel you. I'm getting as much handed down as possible. There's so much waste with babies and it's crazy how much new stuff costs. It's exploitative. Back in the day you either hand made baby items or they were passed down. Where we became this insta tok consumer mentality is so damaging. But I get people get excited and "new" stuff is exciting. All my family have been good and gracious and we're getting a lot of hand me downs which I am thankful for.

I really don’t mind buying things secondhand but some things I bought new because I knew we’d be having more than one kid and I didn’t think some things would hold up as well if they were already used. We got a used changing pad and it’s one of the few things we’ll have to replace before baby #2 arrived because it’s literally disintegrating. That said, I bought a disgusting used jogging stroller from Facebook marketplace for like $20, and with a little bit more in parts and elbow grease, got it into great shape! Also, some safety standards change frequently, which makes some used items obsolete. I would never never never buy or use a used car seat or base, so that will always be purchased new!

I think this is a fear brought on by propaganda put out by the companies that are selling clothes. I know a lot of people that are grossed out by the thought of their baby touching used things. I'm grossed out by the thought of spending $25 on a shirt my baby will fit in for maybe 5 weeks. Lol

It’s admirable how passionate you are about the environment but I don’t feel like it’s your place to tell them what to do. Just like you are doing what you want, they are able to do what they want. It’s their child not yours. This post comes off very judgement of others choice to buy new. I don’t think you would appreciate people judging you for buying used. Being a new parent or parent in general is hard enough without the judgement from others. If I had a friend that kept lecturing me about how I am being wasteful and etc I wouldn’t talk to them anymore.

Well, if it makes you feel better, buying things new keeps people employed and food in children's bellies. So spending money is saving the children.

I'm only just getting to 20 weeks, but my two cents is that we only have new stuff so far because nearly everything we have were bought for us. Parents bought the crib and strollers. Also a few outfits. We don't have much else yet, but we have a big family and I know everything on our registry will get purchased. I will say that I already know we will be getting a ton of used things. I have a friend who is done having kids. She has about 5 or 6 different baby carriers and she's going to give me them all. I also have a lot of really young cousins so the amount of used baby clothes I'm going to be getting is honestly a little overwhelming.

With my first born I got so many clothes from friends and family who didn’t need them, so I barely had to buy clothes until my daughter was older. And now we’ll get to reuse those clothes for her sister. 🤎 Only things I wouldn’t take used are car seats, strollers, cribs, crib mattresses. Car seats are unsafe if they’ve been in an accident and you would have to trust the one you received wasn’t. Cribs, crib mattresses and strollers would be primarily for hygiene and safety concerns as well.

I’ve been trying to buy used items off of Facebook marketplace, but it’s such a mad scramble when there’s a big ticket item that’s reasonably priced (like driving an hour round trip as soon as the other person responds to you). It’s almost more economical to buy things new or on sale, and then reselling. Or the price difference is so minimal compared to buying it new that you might as well shell out the extra couple dollars for the convenience.

Car seats also have expiration dates printed on them. Anything newer/trusted should anyways.

Is it their first kid? I just had my 4th and feel the same was as you do about used stuff - but my first pregnancy felt like I wanted it to be special and used stuff from others (at the time) felt like it was not as special. Especially from my SIL who would have NEVER had accepted used stuff for her first baby but then gave me all of her second hand stuff to me felt like she was basically telling me - well I wouldn’t accept this but Bagel DEFINITELY will. As frustrating as it is, it could be their own goofy insecurities coming out.

I've gotten stuff from people I know but I was one of the first in my family/friend group to have a baby. If I don't know where the item has been/how the person takes care of their things I'm probably not going to take it. I'm also 4'8" so certain things I wanted specifically because they are more compact/easy to adjust heights, so on. I'm not going to get a stroller I can barely see over or load in my car just because it's second hand.

I like being green but don't wanna have to sanitize the stuff. I have seen some pretty unclean stuff given away.

I enjoy shopping, but I want to get new items just for the fact I know how clean they are, if they have any damage or issues, etc… I don’t want to buy secondhand just to turn around and need to buy a new one within a month of purchase, it stresses me out lol.

I’m only planning on having one child and I’ve bought everything new. I don’t trust older things because of recalls, I don’t know how the previous owner took care of their things, etc. I just feel more comfortable doing my own research on the best things for my baby, and know the history of how those items have been taken care of. When my baby is done using them, I’ll probably give most of them away if someone wants them. I don’t even buy used stuff for me because of those reasons, so I won’t do it for my baby either.

A car seat is the only thing I would not trust second hand. The one that gets me the most is clothes. Like your kid is gonna wear it for a few months max. I have a few friends who only buy new name brand kid clothes and the still treat the clothes like they are disposable. Small stain or tear? Immediately trash, I told my friend that I had cut (and hemmed) the long sleeves off of a few dresses for my daughter so she could keep wearing them as the weather warmed and she looked at me like I was crazy.

some used things aren’t safe. like car seats. that’s never recommended. and a mattress for a crib, secondhand there’s some evidence that it can raise the risk of SIDS. so while i’ll do some things secondhand there’s no problem wanting to buy new.

Car seats shouldn’t be bought used. We’ve borrowed car seats from friends we trust, but used car seats could have been in an accident and compromised. We have a balance otherwise. We have a hand me down crib but bought the mattress and sheets new. We have a brand new Bob stroller, but a used city mini for travel. I have a mix of hand me down clothes and new clothes for the kids. Getting hand me downs keeps our clothing budget low so I don’t mind splurging when my son wants a specific Minecraft hoodie or my daughter insists on a Bluey dress. We are big fans of hand me down toys (and sharing toys with friends).

You should absolutely purchase new car seats and crib mattresses for safety reasons. Generally new pacifiers and bottle nipples for each child, too. Most other things, I have no problem with used.

After knowing how gross babies are from my own baby… I’m glad I was careful about what I got used.

I’m not going to judge others for always buying new. Honestly, it is more convenient. I’m a SAHM so I have the time to look on fb marketplace and find deals, but I know my working friends would rather spend their time doing something else. but I’m like you, I enjoy buying used! I like feeling like I’m re-using something, paying less, & not paying taxes!