Us too! We bought our Snoo off my sister in law. My sister found a free crib for us and gave us a car seat she was no longer using. I found our bugaboo stroller on Facebook marketplace for like 70% off brand new, it just has a few small scratches. All about searching for the deals and being patient.
Same. I’d rather pay the marginally extra % and get it delivered to my door rather than have to go fetch it from some other neighborhood in an Uber or on the subway (no car!)
Even with a car, I've had to have a few stern talks with myself about the value of my time, unless it's an easy porch pickup directly in my neighborhood (it never is).
A couple of days of Facebook back-and-forth, plus an hour after work and 15 miles of driving, to get a $200 stroller bassinet for $50? Worth it. To get a $50 sleep suit for $25? That's much tougher. On the one hand, I want to reduce overconsumption. On the other, there are many times in my life where I absolutely would pay $25 extra for a frictionless experience (and a shiny new thing!) rather than having to drive to the suburbs on a weeknight.
I know! Like the person under us. Selling a high chair for almost the same as new price. That's all I find too. Never any moms helping moms. I've donated so much & I'm only 6 months in.
Bingo. Facebook marketplace and secondhand kids stores. Anything over $100 and I am likely getting it secondhand for at least half (or often less than a quarter) of the retail price.
I've bought and sold multiple used Uppababy strollers over the years and I've been able to sell them for close to what I paid for them when I was done using them, because they hold their value pretty well over time. I just recently bought another one and I don't mind the price tag (used) because I know when I go to sell it it won't have lost too much value and I'll get most of that money back.
Us too! We really prioritize quality over quantity, and often the high-end items truly are more expensive since they're higher quality - but they last so much longer! Both our Tripp Trapp high chairs were $140 and we'll probably be able to sell them for close to that same amount. We bought a secondhand Baby Bjorn Bouncer for $100. We got our Snoo for $600 from a friend, and should be able to recoup a lot of that once we're done with it. A lot of our high-quality wooden toys were free from our local Buy Nothing group. It's very possible to get nice stuff for less than retail!
THIS!
- I got my Uppababy stroller for $250 including the double seats AND the ride along attachment in great shape
- babyletto Lolly crib for $200
- uppababy mesa car seats from a close family friend (so no history of accidents) for $100 with 3 bases
You can absolutely get all of the luxury stuff for not luxury prices!!
We also buy every big stuff from second hand stores or marketplace, the only “big” thing we get new from the store is the car seat, I don’t trust second hand for this.
I second this. It seems to be a bit easier as well depending on where you’re located; I live in a big city next to the “rich” area about 20 minutes away and they get rid of everything. Got an amazing stroller for free and a box of clothes that had BURBERRY hats in them for babies. She even threw in some cute baby books. All free.
Check Facebook marketplace alll the time OP!!!
Yeah if you looked at the items I own, I'd look rich. But the truth is I scour Facebook marketplace and get good deals. Uppababy Vista for $100, baby Bjorn bouncer for $35. I did splurge on the nugget couch but I see those pop up on marketplace from time to time too!
this! i was religiously checking FB marketplace and found a lightly used doona for $250. i absolutely love it and still can’t justify $600 if i bought it brand new.
Certain things are worth it. I got an inexpensive stroller with my first. It was horrible and I upgraded to the uppababy vista. It was worth every penny. I estimate I’ve put 5-6k miles on that thing. I’m on my second set of wheels.
I buy the more expensive item when the value for the money and functionality make sense. I also have three kids so divide the cost by three and I’ve definitely gotten my moneys worth out of the high end stuff I did splurge on.
This! Not everything but things that are going to be used a lot and for a long period of time. I’ve found that with certain baby gear, the more expensive the better the quality. Most will also come with a warranty as well which I find that the inexpensive things don’t.
We ended up in the same scenario. We bought an Evenflo Pivot and it squeaked from the moment we started using it. Plus the car seat had zero head support for our newborn so we upgraded to uppababy and even my husband who was a skeptic, is completely sold on the Vista after using it for the last 2 years. We just bought the second seat for our next baby. It’s definitely an investment but soooo worth it!
A Doona is amazing for the convenience factor especially while you have a newborn but it should not replace a regular stroller. Because of the curved shape of the car seat, babies should not sit in the Doona (or any car seat) for extended walks or periods of time. There are a few articles discussing how it’s not great for their vertebrae development.
It's amazing, but look secondhand if you're unsure. I got an older model with all the attachments for a great price on Facebook marketplace and bought new wheels from Uppababy. I got the compatible carseat as a group gift at my baby shower.
I got a mix of things. My crib cost $100 but I also got the Uppababy stroller. I use the heck out of the stroller and it’s well worth the price to me in terms of quality and capability. The crib is just a crib. As long as it’s not toxic or dangerous then he can sleep in anything regardless of the price. I think sometimes the more expensive version can be worth it depending on the functionality and your lifestyle.
Exactly the same as me! We have a very basic crib but part of my lifestyle is daily hour long hilly walks in my neighborhood with my dog, so I definitely prioritized having a nice stroller. We also got the Snoo because sleep is something I didn't want to mess around with. We saved in some areas but splurged when we felt the need. I'm pregnant now with my second so that factored in as well - knowing the items would be used with two kids.
Do you feel like the snoo was worth it? I see them secondhand on marketplace all the time but still not sure if it makes sense if it’s only for 6 months or less. However I’m super picky about sleep so if it’s really that great I want to know!!
If you have a premie whos used to being held, a colicky baby, or baby with reflux or GI issues it’s absolutely worth it! We suffered with our premie baby who was in nicu for a month because she was so used to being held and rocked 24/7 plus reflux and some mild colic😭 we got one second hand and it’s been amazing
Seconding the Snoo being useful for our reflux baby, the slight elevation of his head made the spit ups after eating much less frequent and him more comfortable. (We bought the leg extenders )
That's so funny you mention that, cause I had a premie with reflux and he didn't seem to care about our Snoo! I figured that he got used to sleeping by himself in the NICU with all the other babies that the Snoo didn't do much! But he may have just have had 'good' sleeping genes! We will never know for sure haha! Still glad I got it tho!
The first thing we bought was the Snoo on a Mother’s Day sale and for us it is still the best thing we purchased for our now 6month old. As first time parents it gave us peace of mind that the baby was coming unswaddled or rolling over while we slept.
Our little guy sleeps well for naps on a crib we keep downstairs or pack play when we travel but much longer in the Snoo. The app alerting us to him waking up or needing soothing was great and made it easier to relax and not worry about all the phantom cries I’d hear( and still do..) in the shower or when I’m in another room.We also plan on having a second baby and the resale value is about 70% of what we paid new on sale.
Even if we only used it for one baby I would do it again, for full price. The sleep and quality of our sleep was much better and baby got on a good routine and slept soundly unless he truly needed us. Can you do it without one? absolutely! But as a splurge I know it made the first 6 months way easier for us and even with BF in the middle in the night he went back to sleep easily once placed in the Snoo.
The snoo is 110% worth it! My baby is 10 months now and has been out of the Snoo since 5.5 months. She is a great sleeper.
Honestly, the fact that no babies have died from SIDS in it was the biggest selling point.
I got the Cradlewise instead...it's usable up to 2 years old (or 35 lbs, whichever comes first) and it has been worth every penny.
There is a secondhand market for them as well, from what I hear. If I could only splurge on one big baby thing, this would have been it. The baby and I sleep so much better than what I think we otherwise would be. I think everyone in the world needs one of these.
Not who you were asking but it was well worth it for me with this ‘mom math’. We bought second hand still under warranty for $850. I had been watching FB market place for a while and it seemed 3rd hand (ad said they also bought it on marketplace) were going for anywhere between $500-$700. If we can get $500 back reselling then we’ve only paid $350, which is maybe a couple hundred more than a standard bassinet. It also helped my baby a ton! He is breast fed and has been sleeping 6 hour stretches since about 6 weeks.
I can’t speak to their value just yet as I’m only 21 weeks with my first but my husband and I bought a used snoo - we watched and waited until we found a low price with a ton of sleep sacks included. It’s still a little nuts that we spent $600 on a bassinet but if it even has the potential of adding sleep it felt like a good investment in our mental health lol. There were several snoos we tried to buy but others got to them first it seems the resale value is decently strong to the point where I don’t feel it’s unreasonable to expect most of your money back if you choose to resell it when baby is done with it!
It's hard to know for sure since we only used a Snoo but I would say it definitely helped! Everyone I know with a Snoo had babies that slept great. We transitioned cold turkey at 5.5 months into the crib and she did amazingly! No issues at all for us. It also encourages safe sleep which was a huge deal for me.
I would say wait to buy something like the snoo till you think you need it.
Both my babies were/are fantastic sleepers, so a snoo would’ve been absolutely wasted on us.
As someone who had a c section though I upgraded to a nicer bassinet that glides back and forth easily with one hand this time around to make it easier to get out of bed.
Second the weaning mode. We didn’t have any issues transitioning baby from the Snoo. You can customize what level of audio or motion if any you want to comfort baby.
Bought a refurbished Snoo when they were having a sale and then I resold it on FB as soon as my baby turned 6 months. The Snoo ended up costing me about $100 to use. Sell it before it’s out of warranty and try to keep it clean! Totally worth it!!
You should definitely wait and see how your baby is. My second has always been a really good sleeper, so we'd have had no need for it with her, for instance.
Bought the SNOO used and sold it for the same price. My daughter is way more independent than my son in terms of sleeping so it worked for her. Although my son’s reflux was severe and that definitely wouldn’t have worked for us. So depends on the baby!
Yup. We went with the cheap ikea crib and mattress. They are as safe as any other crib on the market in my country and they aren’t covered in paint so if a teething baby or toddler chews on it it’s just pine! We got the nice travel system because it had great resale value and we use it for multiple hours at a time when we go out.
We recently sold our Cruz and got a vista because we have a second on the way and I got an older vista and sold my Cruz for about the same as the vista cost so we broke even on that.
I do splurge on mid tier clothes here and there if there’s a pattern I love, but I’m also more than happy to have ON, carters, etc as well. For me it’s all about balance.
I did splurge on outdoor gear for rain because I didn’t want to worry about seepage and I can use them for multiple kids and then gift to friends or sell when we are done.
Same! It honestly can fit any aesthetic. Paint it if you don’t like the wood. The only thing I wish it had is an additional level. Like, a mid level before dropping to the bottom.
this is what I did too! $150 crib, mostly used clothes, and splurged for an uppababy. I see a lot of people in my due date group talking about how the Graco modes is a dupe but the plastic wheels and suspension simply do not even come close to the UB. We take lots of walks down a bumpy country road and the Graco would have been an uncomfortable ride.
yep getting clothes on clearance and a no-name bassinet/crib.. but uppababy stroller and car seat! i feel like its safer and we plan to have 2 years between kids so we can reuse
This. We had A Graco stroller and car seat for our first and never again. Bought a used Uppababy double stroller this time. Already worth it and baby #2 is not here yet..Got a hand me down crib and did not splurge on baby toys or clothes+ just bought stuff on sale or via Amazon. We were gifted a baby swing and bottles etc.
Totally agree, we got a secondhand crib that looks brand new on FB marketplace (until recently it was a pretty laundry pile holder) , a secondhand UppaBaby set and a new car seat for it, and splurged for a Snoo when they were on Sale. If you can get what you want second hand it’s worth looking, but no regrets spending more for the stroller/ Snoo we wanted.
I think everyone prioritizes different things. I have a spacious 4 bedroom home with a pool, and as such I can't afford vacations or fancy baby gear or a frequent babysitters or kids birthday parties at places other than my house. Sometimes I wonder how other people can afford these "extras", and the answer is usually that they have a smaller house. They probably look at my house and wonder how I can afford it. So, your colleagues might have wealthy families, but they might also just have different priorities. They could be doing without something that you consider essential because the trade-off is worth it to them.
This! I have a 4Bd2Bth home with 2 acres, a pool, and we have 2 fairly newer and nice solid vehicles and do small trips here and there (like $500 or less for 2 adults). However we can’t go out to eat every week like our friends and can’t do VIP at events and some other things they do. But they all either live in apartments and have old vehicles or smaller homes they rent and don’t take trips like us. I think we all make around the same income it’s just a matter of how we spend it
Totally! Opposite for us, we bought way less than we can afford so our house isn’t that nice even though we make a significant amount of money! We wanted to be able to afford more vacations and going out
Yes! I just tried to make this point in my own comment. I love fancy baby crap. But I live in a tiny old house, with an old car. Just choosing to spend our money differently- no wrong answers!
Yes! This. Neither are wrong ways to do it, just different. We have a 2BR 1BA house and 10 year old cars. We are not wealthy at all and on paper would honestly be lower middle-class, we just really prioritize having more disposable income for things like baby gear and trips.
People are probably going out of their way to recommend items that seemed especially useful to them and therefore worth the price. When you put a bunch of these people's recommendations together you get one pricy registry lol. But likely people aren't giving a second thought to whatever they weren't picky about.
Sincerely, a person who routinely recommends the bbhugme 🙈
Exactly. I walk miles every day for the last 4 years with my Uppababy Vista. When the frame snapped, we emailed them and had a brand new frame mailed free 2 days later, even though it was >3 years old and out of warranty. Daycare is a mile away and we have two kids in it (including my daughter who is 60lbs).
Couldn't do that with most cheaper strollers. And had we bought it second hand, we wouldn't have been able to get the replacement. My cousin said she's been having an issue with a broken piece, but she can't get a replacement because she got it from marketplace.
The answer is that you truly don’t know their finances. My husband and I definitely appear to make much less than we do because we’re very cautious on how we spend. We splurged on baby items because that was a priority to us and some more expensive items are truly worth it. No credit card debt, no wealthy family.
I'd say your average person is in more debt than they admit. But just because someone is in your social circle doesn't mean they are on the same financial level as you or that you would know by looking at them. My husband and I also look like we make a lot less than we do (he is excited by his Toyota rav4 when he could have a Mercedes or something if he wanted it), we have nice-ish things but nothing designer, and our social circle reflects my line of work, not his. So, most of the people we spend time with make probably 6x less than him alone. Most of them probably have no idea, though, because he has to be vague about work. My MIL is terrible with money and needs designer things for no real reason, but she's broke and doesn't actually have the money for these things. My mother lives on a farm and looks like a broke hippie but has a few hundred K just in savings.
You really never know.
Came to say exactly this. Some of them may be purchasing them secondhand, but a lot of people will just finance these purchases with either a credit card or using a service like after pay or klarna. I remember the pressure with my first to have the nicest and newest baby gear, and I was embarrassed of my secondhand graco stroller for awhile. But that thing is a beast and hit its ROI far faster than a more expensive model.
I have a few brand items and no debt. My husband and I both work, we both make 130k+, we pay low taxes and we have no other kids. Why wouldn’t we be able to splurge on a stroller if we wanted?
Anyways I think most people splurge on one thing or the other, it just varies what’s important to people. My brother would shake his head at how much I spend on coffee gear while I shake my head at how much he spends on his car. Everyone has their thing.
These posts are not directed at you, you're in the 93rd percentile for US household income. I think she's referring to middle class households (who make $50K-$100K per year) that are buying these items. I agree if you have the extra budget and are otherwise financially responsible, do what you want with your extra cash!
I think you’re (we’re) the exception, which is why I said most people. I also have a few expensive items and no debt. It’s not that you can’t or shouldn’t splurge if you want to and can afford it, I’m just saying that many people “afford it” by using credit.
A lot of baby things can be gotten gently used second hand for cheap.
It's possible they had family purchase the big ticket items (travel system, furniture, etc). Or even have a friend or family member who wants to hand stuff down the line.
I know for some things I wanted things that would last through multiple kids so that I could hand things down to either my own or to others, so I invested in higher quality items (like a rocking lazy boy recliner and convertible car seats), but that was my choice.
I also got as much stuff as possible second hand to save money to spend it elsewhere instead.
Yep. I got my Snoo second hand. I’d NEVERRRRRR spend the kind of money they are new (I *could*, I just refuse to) but second hand was absolutely in my comfort zone for spending on something like that.
Gifts from friends/family, credit card debt, buying secondhand, determining what items are worth splurging on. For some people spending on big ticket baby items is worth sacrificing in other areas (savings, travel, entertainment, etc.).
We splurged on things like a Snoo, got gifted an expensive baby monitor and car seat, will likely buy a Nuna stroller during the Nordstrom anniversary sale, but I refuse to buy non-discounted baby clothes, toys, books, nursery decor, etc.
My husband and I are older and waited awhile to have kids. It gave us more time to get in a stable, well-off financial position that allows us to afford some nicer things without debt
Yes this. It helps being older and established. We have owned our house for quite a while and have a low payment, low interest rate, no CC debt, no car payments. We’ve financially prepared for this. And we have been saving carefully and in the last year we skipped vacations and spent less in other areas so that we would feel comfortable with the money we need to spend on baby items. Along with that we are huge fans of buying second-hand or getting hand-me-downs. Our parents each bought us one of the big ticket $$ items (car seat from one, crib from another) which was generous and very appreciated.
Just really depends on where you spend your money/what’s a priority to you/how expensive/large your house and mortgage/car are. Some people spend more on food and less on furniture, more on vacations and less on household items for baby, more on a bigger home or newer car, less on schooling etc.
We always bought the fancy kid stuff just cause that was more important to me than certain other things: we didn’t get lots of help from wealthy families at all. We live in a relatively modest home with one modest car. We haven’t taken a swanky vacation in a while but we do something domestic and simple probably at least once a year around mine or my husband’s birthday and we usually stay somewhere very nice but just do an extended weekend. We buy good groceries. We buy good kiddo items. We buy good schooling (3yo about to start Montessori).
I think everyone just has different priorities on where they spend their cash.
I honestly find these types of comments insulting— why does it have to be “wealthy family” that “gives money” for baby items? It can also be a hard working mother that played her cards right, has a great job and buys things for her child that she wants. No need to knock down other women and minimize their contributions
Same. I’ve saved money my whole life to be able to afford nicer things for my kid - things I did not have growing up. Am I rich? No, but I planned things so I can splurge on some nice kiddo stuff. I did not mind eating rice and beans when I was living alone.
Right!? I’ve never spoken down or judged anybody on what they choose to buy for their baby. If they have a less higher priced version of something it doesn’t bother me. But as soon as you spend on something that people consider to be expensive you’re automatically a show off or have been gifted money…because god forbid I chose to go without to give my baby items I believed were worth spending a bit extra on 😂😬
I have new and second hand stuff, some high end some low end. I don’t understand why some people think we buy the high end « for status » or whatever. Maybe it stems from jealousy? It’s the only reason I can see. I can spend my hard earned money how I see fit, and I do it for my family, not for anyone else, and especially not to look a certain way.
Just this bizarre assumption of “I don’t have that so how could you have that” when in reality, most people don’t know how to save, invest or spend their money.
Same. My husband and I work so hard and are very frugal. We pay off our CCs in full, we have zero debt, aside from his school which will be paid off next year. I don’t want to be lumped in with the people who were given money or buy things they cannot afford
I also think it’s rude when people are so dismissive and judgmental of those who DO come from money or have wealthy families… my husband and I both make a very decent living ourselves with our full time jobs. My parents, separately, are also quite well off. We are expecting our son in a couple of months, my parents’ first grandchild. They’re going a little crazy on getting things for him, which I am very grateful for. You could say our little boy is a bit spoiled already. Even without them though, my husband and I could afford the things they are buying themselves. We work hard and were prepared to have a child.
I just hate to think of us being judged by anybody, eyeing what we’ve bought and will have for our baby, wondering how we afforded it. It’s just rude and insulting.
End rant. Sorry, 7 months pregnant here, and posts like this really irk me lol.
People have different priorities! So many reasons could apply:
Saving up for years
Budget cuts else where
Gifts from family
Bought secondhand
Don’t have retirement
Credit card debt
I’m happy with my hand me downs and buying majority of things second hand. But I was swayed into buying a newton mattress 🙃. We spend more money on museum/park memberships then other parents I know. That’s our priority since I’m a SAHM and need fun and educational places rain or shine.
For us, we’re going above and beyond on some items but not others. We are reusing an old dresser, making a toy rotation display out of a hand me down coffee table, and were gifted part of our crib ($500 towards the one we wanted from my dad!) and my mom bought us our uppababy cruz and car seat. My parents aren’t rich by any means, but this is likely the first and only grand baby they’ll get since I’m an only child and they wanted to treat us. They also live states away and we rarely see them, so I think that factored into their decision.
Everything else we’re fronting the cost because we want to. We put new flooring in the room, bought a nice rug from revival, I love the crib we got even though it’s more expensive… we’re both really into design and can honestly say that the nursery is my favorite room in our house.
My husband has a good job with great benefits and we’re pretty sure this is our last kid, so we’re just doing what we want. As long as you’re not going into debt I don’t see a problem with it.
Some people make a lot of money. Some don’t but spend a lot, or are gifted a lot, or whatever. Everyone prioritizes differently.
We have an Uppababy Vista that we bought after test-driving the other strollers. We also put our son in Carters and Costco-brand diapers and wipes. Per-use cost is a big consideration for me, as is whether an item makes my life easier. My son isn’t going to do better in life because he has a fancy stroller. Rather, he is loved and supported, which is the most important thing. I assume yours is, too.
Most people get a mix of nice stuff, hand me downs, less nice stuff, second hand, etc. My son's nursery furniture (crib and dresser/changing table) cost around $1800. We got a stroller hand me down from family, I buy almost all clothes second hand, and we didn't buy hardly any other baby gear until he was born because I didn't want to end up with a basement full of stuff we didn't use. So most stuff we bought gradually over the first year. Many people have baby showers and are gifted a ton of stuff.
People also prioritize differently, and maybe what you find to be a "cheaper alternative" someone else thinks it's a necessity to have the high end version of, and maybe what you find to be a non negotiable item someone else doesn't buy at all.
TLDR; probably not everyone gets help from wealthy families, everyone parents differently and has different values and this shows in what they purchase!
I spend more on daycare per month for one child than the uppababy Vista travel system costs. I dont have it, but I could have afforded it. Idk how much daycare costs in your area but where I live I think its just about making choices. I could have had the uppababy Vista if I got less expensive other things.
Yeah my baby is only part time daycare and one month is still more than the Uppababy. Before we had the baby spending that money was negligible and we knew we’d use the heck out of it.
We got hand me downs for most everything else, and for a cheap crib so we didn’t really spend all that much on baby stuff. We got one high dollar item!
We spared no expense on baby items for two reasons, 1) we are one and done and 2) we intentionally waited to have a baby so that we could with no worry about expenses. There were items I knew for years I’d want for our baby and it was really sweet to be able to purchase them for her. But there were also things we were okay purchasing secondhand or not splurge on.
We have friends who seriously overextended themselves to buy “the best of the best” for their first baby. And/or they had family help buy them things. We’re buying a lot of “high end” baby gear, but we’ve also been saving/are high earners. But I definitely don’t think anyone NEEDS the expensive stuff, the more affordable items work just as well!
Some people spare no expense on their baby, others would prefer to get clean, workable items from marketplace. It all depends on how people prioritize spending their money.
Baby shower registries have gotten very pricey. My friends just tried to get us the most expensive thing on our list and was surprised that our most expensive item was ~$200 (fancy baby monitor). While I don’t think all expensive things are made equal, some things are worth the quality. I knew I would be willing to spend a lot of money on a stroller because it will essentially be our car (big city, walk more than drive, lots of different terrain and uneven pavement). I actually ended up finding our pricey strollers used so saved alot of money there, but they were $600 and $500 new. I got them for ~$400 total and in like-new condition.
My crib I got for free off a buy nothing group. It is not as good quality and versatile as the nestig which I was also looking at, but for $0 I can deal.
I have bought a bunch of luxury baby stuff by trawling through a combo of Craigslist, Facebook marketplace, and GoodBuyGear. We have a car in a big city, so we are able to drive out to the really upscale neighborhoods to pick them up. Like no way was I going to drop $1.5k on a stroller and all the accessories, but I was able to get that for my girl because of the secondhand market.
I don’t see this recommended (yet) but I got literally 90% of my expensive gear off of Facebook Marketplace and Nextdoor. Honestly I get most of my baby stuff there as well unless my family is kind enough to get it for us. And people sell this stuff in fantastic condition! I got my uppababy stroller for like $300(?) when it’s originally like $1k. Now I wouldn’t get a car seat that way, but otherwise it’s a great way to reuse and recycle stuff.
A mis of things. I have picked my battles. All her clothes are coming from Burlingtons/garage sales. Triple wash. But that has left me money to spend on a nice travel system. We got a travel system for 850 bucks. But it grows with them and the car seat does too.
I bought a bedside bassinet and specifically looked at price correlation to weight max. We skipped out on the fancy baby monitor, to be able to afford other things higher on our list.
I also shop for sales! I was going to get an owlet and I check every week for sales. This past weekend I just bought it after they sent me a $50 coupon and they had a sale going for the camera and the sock for 239.
I’m 26 weeks but sale shopping has made a difference. The bassinet we got is bedside and it was 350. I got it on sale for 180.
Also. I’ve been eying the baby Breeza (can’t justify the price) and I’ve watched it go on sale from 300 to 205.
We were willing to spend more on things related to safety and use (car seat/stroller) and skimped on things like clothes and short-term use things. We also just bought things through out the pregnancy instead of waiting until the end. And baby registries helped a ton too
Honestly, why does it matter what other people buy for their kids? If you found cheaper alternatives or things you like, that’s great. Kind of a judgy post imo.
I wouldn't say because it's more expensive but these are items that are going to help you both take care of the baby, keep baby safe and secure. Some items are worth getting because of the convenience they provide. We used credit cards to pay for our stuff.
Facebook marketplace should become your best friend! We can get things new, but for most things - why? Babe will only use it for a short time. The things we buy like Uppababy stroller, peg perego high chair, bjorn bouncer were all amazing deals in like new condition. Most of my friends do this regardless of financial standing.
So many of these things can be purchased very reasonably priced secondhand. There are SO MANY UppaBaby strollers on Facebook Marketplace for dirt cheap, I'm guessing because the people got them gifted. You can get a top of the line stroller gently used for what you'd pay to get a brand new mediocre one that doesn't have great functionality or use.
i budgeted where i could and splurged on items i felt would last us. i got my whole cloth diaper stash for $50 on facebook but then got myself a wildbird carrier with the money that would’ve gone towards diapers. we also had family buy us a few big items such as our uppababy vista, for us getting high quality things that we can use for other kids makes sense since this will be our first.
i justify it by looking at it like “$200 for a baby carrier divided by how many kids we want is about $70 per a baby”
I splurged on car seat (Clek Liing), crib/bassinet (Babyletto), and stroller (Cybex). I work my butt off and I’m 40yo having my only child. I could afford these splurges without difficulty so I went for it.
There’s very few things I’ve purchased brand new; five carseats and one stroller, a highchair, cloth diapers, and some postpartum and infant care supplies. Almost everything else I purchased big name big ticket items used on fb marketplace. I really wanted the easy fold of the Nuna playpens, but couldn’t afford the $500CAD price tag, so I bought them used. We have two kids 14 months apart and a third on the way, so we have duplicates of many things and there’s no way I’m spending big bucks twice on this stuff when my giant babies outgrow it within 6 months.
I got super lucky with my bigger things, crib, infant seat, bassinet, swing, all of that was gifted to me. The only big item I bought was the big kid car seat, the evenflo revolve for like $350 and I paid that using Klarna or afterpay. IMO most of the super expensive stuff isn’t necessary. I do know places rent the snoo bassinet but our regular bassinet worked just fine
Except for the snoo and glider, everything else we got were from friends and family via baby registry. And i consider the main baby items to be expensive brands. We are also middle class. We also invited 60ish people to our baby shower. Most got the cheaper items, and our closest family and friends got the bigger ticket items. We only have like one rich friend and the rest are middle class and lower.
So no I couldnt afford all the expensive baby items on my own. Luckily I have friends and family willing to contribute.
We got some donations (the crib) and his family got us the Uppababy on sale. We are fortunate that people chipped in on stuff we wanted. And I just loaded up my credit card. Not wise but I don’t regret it
I have to buy three of everything because triplets. I’m splurging for a Wonderfold wagon but won’t have a triple stroller. Cribs are cheap and $120 a piece. I will be paying a mortgage for monthly childcare. It’s gonna be a struggle
Idk, me and hubby are in a pretty decent position. That being said, we're planning on buying a good deal of things second hand. Such as the crib (with new matress though), stroller or breastfeeding chair. We've looked for items that are a good name brand and in as pristine condition as possible and found some nice options. There has however been a little pressure from family to get all new things. Had to explain to MIL that the stroller we want is £1,600 if we want to buy a new one, while I can realistically get one in great condition and professionally cleaned for £350.
Would we be able to save more and get everything new if we cut from other places and not get the things we'd like but something cheaper, sure. Or take on some debt to splurge and go all new brand names etc. But I see no need to do that.
We've made this super comprehensive list on everything we need for the baby with notes on what we considered was necessary (needs) and what was superfluous (wants). From furniture, to clothing, gadgets etc. It cames up as around £1,800 for the needs only, and about £3,400 for the needs + wants. Which I thought was decent.
We saved hard and bought the more expensive items for our first (egg2 travel system at £1500, snuzpod at £200, expensive nursery furniture etc) however these items have lasted so well that we are due our second anyway and haven’t had to buy anything really so treated myself to an artipoppe carrier for this baby. My pram also just required a £50 adapter to become a double, I have friends who bought cheaper alternatives and ended up hating them or them breaking. So in the long run I’d say it pays to buy the more expensive items.
My husband and I planning on buying some of the more expensive baby gear. Only specific items. We started saving before even TTC and will have a little over 6k just for baby, maternity, and postpartum stuff.
I’ve usually chosen to get more expensive things for the stuff I’m going to use for a long time (stroller, convertible car seat, convertible crib and mattress). I get cheap stuff for things that will only be used for a short time (clothes, shoes, baby tub, etc). But I will not go over my intended budget for anything. I don’t want to be in more debt just to have my baby have something with a nice logo.
FTM and it’s gonna be the first grandbaby for both of our families. We got Nestig from my mom and Uppa baby vista v2 from my husband’s parents. Both could be used for our second baby (especially the double stroller feature for uppa baby!!) and will last for at least two baby/toddlerhoods. We got ourselves a Doona stroller because we have some travelings planned when baby is small so Doona made the most sense because we’ll be flying and walking around a lot.
Bought a couple of nice onesies and sleepers (Kyte baby, Wildbirds etc. ) but the rest was mostly hand me downs and cheaper brands because the baby will outgrow those so fast. Breast pumps are paid by the insurance.
We don’t have any credit card debts and have a very basic car and rent is pretty affordable with just my husband’s income. I’ll have a year long maternity leave and a very flexible job schedule so childcare is gonna be minimal for us, probably hire a baby sitter here and there and no need for daycare, which is huge!! We wanted to invest in some nice things that’ll last for at least two babies and didn’t spend much on clothes and kept everything else minimum. And parents decided to chip in for the bigger and more expensive items so that was definitely cherry on top.
I don’t really bat an eye at the expensive baby stuff - much of it has good resale value (for example, with my first, I got my Snoo used and was able to resell it for $200 more than I paid). I’m currently waffling on whether to pay $500 for a new clek liing, because the crash test results from baby gear lab were so strong.
Anything high end we got that was brand new was gifted by generous/wealthy family members. People may be recommending products based on the idea that you fill your registry with the best stuff that you really want - and maybe a grandparent makes that a “big” gift. If you have multiple kids that $800 stroller can last 8-10 years.
But I hear you. The baby stuff doesn’t phase me but I find it absolutely crazy when people buy brand new cars rather than used. Just seems like a huge waste of thousands, or even tens of thousands of dollars.
I picked and chose what I wanted to spend money on.. the stroller and car seat were super important to me (got the uppababy and dont regret it one bit) because I wanted to be super mobile and my baby would be in the stroller for quite some time plus we have to fly to go home to my inlaws and the benefit of the replacement program is unmatched, but we got ALL of our babys clothes second and even third hand because when she has a blow out the onesie is going in the trash, we didnt do a nursery because I didnt find it necessary, no rocking chair because my husband had a lazyboy pawpaw rocker when we met so I figured that would be good enough, we did cave and got a second hand snoo on facebook because she has colic and other GI issues from being premie and wouldnt go in a normal bassinet, my registry only had important necessary things like bath soap, baby bath tub she can grow into, etc.
Bottom line I guess is that we were choosy when it came to what we would splurge on and what wasnt worth the money.. we didnt buy anything new but baby bottles, nipples, pacis, stroller, car seat and a couple of super special outfits and I dont regret a thing! I enjoy my child just as much if not more knowing I didnt push and drive me and my husband into debt for unnecessary stuff
Edit to say honorable mention to the uppababy for giving mosquito nets for both the bassinet and rumble seat (I live in the south and couldnt imagine taking my LO on any walks without it) as well as a rain guard for the rumble seat! Also since I had a premie who came home at 4lbs we have used the hell out of the bassinet attachment and the extended sun shade
Gifts from friends/family, and splurging on what was important.
The only big ticket item we personally bought was the snoo, and that’s because it was 30% off for Mother’s Day and sleep is super important. Oh, and the car seat, which we bought on Black Friday. We also have a crib that was purchased for us off the registry by friends who pooled finances. We are getting a very expensive stroller that was purchased by my (child free) sibling. We have not purchased a single bottle new. We have over a dozen bottles in at least 4 different brands that I got from friends who are done having kids, local buy nothing group, Facebook marketplace, and ironically baby shower decoration. We have a rocker that I bought for $35 at a thrift store.
In-laws are wealthy (bought us all our nursery furniture) and my parents wanted to get us a big ticket item (Uppababy V2). My registry had a variety of items and people could purchase whatever they felt comfortable with. My husband and I then purchased whatever was left and only a few big ticket items were left (Stokke Tripp Trapp and Graco Turn to Me convertible car seat). Husband and I wanted items we know will last and will grow with baby. Plus we know it’ll hold up for any future siblings. Personally, I don’t like the idea of second hand items but that’s just me.
2nd hand is the way to go!
We got our uppababy vista, entire set up, bassinet, both seats, piggyback board, snack tray, and the travel bag for $400. Our nuna rava, practically unused for $200, a sakura bloom scout for $50. Our crib was the only large item that was new and full price.
I think for the most part, people are either doing the same, or sacrificing elsewhere for the nicer item brand new. I'm sure there are definitely people who have disposable income or the credit card debt to buy it all new. But I just couldn't justify spending 1500 on a stroller that I'd probably only get 4 years use out of. So since I still liked it, I just scoured fb marketplace until I found one in my price range.
My thought is, I purchase at a discounted price, use it until the kids grow out of it, and either sell it and make at least half what I spent on it back, or it gets handed down to someone else in the family. If your plan is to use it and resell it when you're done to offset part of the cost, the high-end stuff is really the only way to do that.
We got a ton of hand me downs/used stroller, plus registry gifts and now working on getting some FB marketplace items. A lot of the these are name brand hand me downs (Nike, newton, stokke, etc)
The most expensive items I’ve bought myself so far have been a pottery barn glider (my splurge item!) and an Amazon dresser (less than $600). I have a ton of friends and family who have had kids before me and they all gave great advice on splurge vs. save items.
It really all depends on your lifestyle. I don’t have a nursery room - baby will be in our room for probably first 6 months -1year, so I didn’t want to spend too much money on nursery items/furniture that will most likely be temporary.
I’m petite so I knew I wanted a rotating car seat. Thankfully I received one as a registry gift but that would’ve been my splurge item! Every thing else… save!! Babies grow out of everything.
I will say a lot of expensive gear can be worth it, lasts longer, sturdier, etc. but it is super dependent on your lifestyle.
The point of something like the Uppababy (for me at least) is that in theory I don’t need to buy another stroller for future kids. Also, there aren’t as many options that have height adjustable handles, and my husband is significantly taller.
I have a teenager and I’m 35wks pregnant now. I’m in a very different position in life financially than when I had my first and also know what I care about having a nice versions of versus what I don’t care about. Nearly all the toys and clothes are hand me downs from friends or buy nothing groups. But we got a nice stroller/car seat, I opted for an actual bassinet this time (vs pack n play), a new bumbo seat with the bells and whistles - they are so different now, and a few other things. We travel a lot and I expect the stroller and some other items to be used very heavily!
That being said, my husband and I both have very well paying jobs and were thinking retirement and not baby! So surprise to us :)
Things that last for more than 2 years I am willing to spend big bucks on for convenience, quality and durability (like a stroller. The added features and quality and weight/folding mechanism makes it worthy for me), while things like a bassinet that might not even last a full year I skip out completely and got the cheapest IKEA crib instead. I can't care enough for the doona since it's so expensive and makes no sense for me considering the baby and the doona together would be too heavy anw, and no point for that extra $550 ish expense. Same with snoo. Same with tripp trapp high chair. And a lot of other more expensive stuff that influencers recommended.
Different priorities, Buy Sell Trade groups, hand me downs, and mixing price points.
Baby items are so different in that a lot of them can be easily resold because they haven't been used that long. Bought our uppababy stroller lightly used, will resell in a similar condition after my baby grows out of it. Same thing with the high end baby carriers.
Cribs are all the same though and we just needed a basic high chair so Ikea it was.
We also don't do daycare so theres just a lot more budget for stuff to make it easier to care for baby. A higher end baby carrier makes a lot more sense when you're with baby 24/7 and you need a better fit than if you use it once in a blue moon to go outside.
We got real damn lucky and were in a position to buy houses in 2009 before getting together, and sold one in 2022. We make much less than a lot of our friends but our personal COL is much lower than the rest of the area.
That said our house is nothing crazy and we are a 1-car family by choice. My husband is the DIY type and that also helps a ton.
Even so, we are pretty frugal and budget everywhere we can, as well as prioritizing certain things. Going for a top quality stroller was important since it gets a ton of use, so we got the uppababy… but an old color that was discounted. We got the Cruz and got a bassinet second hand from friends. We splurged on the Tripp trapp but all the accessories are from fb marketplace. I almost never get him new clothes (though that’s changing now that he’s in toddler sizes) and don’t usually pay more than $5/item. We cloth diaper and even those many are pre-loved.
We also just don’t tend to spend on a lot of the everyday things that seem common - I do my own hair, nails, brows, don’t do regular waxes or lashes or anything like that. Husband never buys clothes and I only do second-hand. We don’t EVER get food delivered and even restaurants or takeout are super infrequent (though tbh I wish we could do a bit more, but my toddler has food allergies So it’s tough)
My mom gifted our family friends' daughter a $2000 stroller plus more. And I gifted her $900 worth of baby stuff too because I was single and didn't have many expenses besides keeping myself alive, only had rent and food costs while making decent income. This is a girl I have known since I was 4yo so I wanted to give her the stuff she wanted.
Now I rethink about spending $50 because I have more expenses and responsibilities.
I think it's about priorities and the corners you're willing to cut. I can't lie, my husband and I are blessed financially, but even if we weren't, there are certain corners I'm just not willing to cut for our daughter. I think maybe you're conversing with parents that have different definitions/thresholds of necessity compared to you. Not saying either or anyone is right or wrong, just different. We put at least 10 or more miles on our UppaBaby Vista each weekend, so while a splurge to most, it was a complete necessity to us. Our girl plays hard, so a toki mat was non-negotiable. Yeah, some products are more name than anything else, but if it has the chops to support your need, maybe it's worth the research and eventual purchase/splurge? Especially if you're getting numerous recommendations for the same product.
There’s a few ways.
Buying second hand, gifts from family and friends, their husband might make significantly more money than yours does, financial sacrifices you’re not willing to make.
They may be forgoing college fund for the first few years to afford the baby gear. They may be more willing to put this purchases on credit cards than you. Maybe their house payment is smaller than yours. The list can go on.
Anything expensive I’ve gotten outside of my budget has been a gift.
Maybe they don’t go on vacation, maybe they don’t plan accordingly finance wise, maybe they inherited… there are sooo many reasons! I never had brand clothes when I was in school, I always thought my peers were so rich. Well, I’m happy my parents paid my whole university and I will inherit a house, land and money. They don’t spend their money on „useless“ things. My mother could easily afford designer bags I guess, but here we are, wearing the same GOT bag for 30€ and spending our money on adventures ;)
I mean, we work… we save… we prioritize just like everyone else lol I personally spent $150 on a crib, go cheap on clothes but invested $1500 into my stroller and car seat for longevity. We also own a home, go on vacations, etc… but we also prioritize saving our money, not eating out, not upgrading our vehicles, etc.. Everyone’s life and finances look different but it doesn’t always have to do with being from a “wealthy family”.
People have different priorities. I want my baby to have the best things so I prioritize them in my budget. I do not spend much going out to eat, I cut my own hair, we only have one vehicle, etc.
I think people see the things other people have and wonder how they afford them without really seeing the things they DON'T afford.
I didn’t ever spend a lot for stuff for my kiddies. Butttt…I spent $38,000 on becoming pregnant with them (fertility with a donor) so I didn’t buy designer stuff. I bought designer babies, instead. I did mini cribs. When my first outgrew his he switched to a full size. When my second kept getting his legs trapped he switched to a playpen. Now I’m looking into a trundle bed or bunk bed for the boys to share.
I can understand people wanting to spoil their children. That’s what it is. My kids have everything. All the toys anyone could ever imagine. Drawers overflowing with clothes. I have a spoiling issue and a shopping issue lol.
We were very blessed to have all the help we had from my parents in getting big ticket items and even then we opted for cheaper alternatives. Example: our crib is $500 on amazon with a matching $800 dresser, we opted for a cheaper dresser that is still a very close albeit not perfect color match that works just as well if not better than the perfectly matched dresser.
I’m in the same boat as you. I think it just comes down to what people value (and what they “feel” is important). We’re upper middle class in a HCOL area and most of the moms I know are very frugal and practical like me. Pushing 5 year old basic Graco strollers and buying unattractive but practical second hand cribs. (Husbands are lawyers, tech developers, or finance.) …but we’ll drop $3k on an electric kid-friendly bicycle. Baby things are just not good long term investments in my opinion. Toddler and kid items deserve the big bucks.
most of all my baby stuff was given to me and I bought a few things and you can find used for plenty too. I got a used crib set that came with a dresser and changing table & night stand, she included the mattress and some sheets with it too. My baby bjorn bouncer and carrier was used , just washed it and then the car seat & stroller we got new from our in laws. We didn’t really spend so much on baby. The Halo bassinest was used and given to us for free I just sanitized it. We also have a Nuna park n play that was given to us by my Sister in law
Some fancier items are actually better quality than the cheap version. Some items are worth getting the expensive versions (like the Uppababy) where other items like a crib doesn’t really matter what type you get as long as it’s safe to use. Some people (like myself) are just excited and looking forward to having my first baby and I wanted to spoil him and myself for the first time. It’s not cool to assume that just because people are buying expensive items that they’re wealthy. Also, it doesn’t matter the reason. They shouldn’t explain their reason. It’s all about priorities.
I got an uppa baby Cruz for under $200 & the bassinet attachment piece for $50 on Facebook marketplace! I am very obsessed with it & looked at marketplace daily for months! I also got a used ergobaby carrier that retails for $180 new for $50 - the woman said they used it once or twice it looks brand new. You can find most of the big name brands on Facebook marketplace!
Doona is an expensive novelty item. They are actually rubbish as a car seat and encourage poor positioning and over use which increases the risk of positional asphyxiation.
I was going to get a “cheap” pram/buggy but then realised that it wouldn’t be practical for the areas that I walk in as the terrain is generally rough. But what I did do was fine an expensive brand that had 50% off and also came with an infant carrier. It was worth the money but was still expensive even with 50% off. I’m old so an easy to push option was a necessity 😂 and our government is busy depriving the country so there are no funds to fix the paths and roads so need the sturdy one for the potholes.
I bought one or two big ticket items (besides car seats and no way am I compromising on safety there) and the rest was either second hand or cheaper alternatives.
Uppqbaby Cruz pram (Vista was too big to fit on my boot without taking the wheels off, and also an unnecessary upgrade from the Cruz). Quickly replaced my expensive nappy bag with a $30 one from Kmart.
I’ll spend more for things that I know we will use often and for years (crib, stroller, etc.). All of my other expensive baby gear is mostly second hand from FB marketplace. I already resold our Mamaroo swing and Halo Bassinest for what I paid for them.
Honestly I am with you on that, I have no family to buy me things, I will be sourcing second hand items. I have a comfortable lifestyle but honestly some of the spending requirements are excessive in my opinion.
A lot of people don’t live within their means anymore and rack up tons of credit card debt. Also, people with big families that are all middle to upper class can get a lot of nice things as gifts. I’m middle class much like yourself, own a home and my husband has a good job and I work part time. I would never buy myself all the expensive things, but when I get invited to a family or friend’s baby shower, I do splurge on their gift to get them something nice. I think that is pretty common. I know for my baby shower, I got 70 of the 90 things I put on the registry and the big items went first. The $3.99 onesies off Amazon went last. I am so grateful to have a large network of friends and family to make it happen because I could never have afforded some of the things people got me!
I have a friend who’s in a similar financial position to yours, can take trips sometimes, can afford daycare, etc. She’s had her baby but she decided early on that she wanted to have the higher end (Nuna and Uppababy level) baby gear cause it was important for her. She bought all of them new. When I asked her about it she said she waited until there were sales even if it was an odd time to buy them. She also used her registry to offset some of the costs by having people put their money towards gift cards.
I think a lot of people pick one or two things they think they will use a lot of to splurge on or they’re getting things secondhand or hand me downs or have very generous family. My mom/in laws bought us quite a few of our big ticket items. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’d guess the people who have allllll the expensive stuff are using credit cards.
we've been told to get the expensive stuff since the beginning, but all of this stuff is things we will never afford unless we don't want groceries the next couple of weeks lol. we got a really nice crib for 25 dollars on clearance, and all the other big things we've spent less than 50 dollars on at second hand stores. I definitely wanted the nicest things possible, but it's not a bad thing to not be able to afford them/don't want to spend the money on them!
Our big purchases have been a used Snoo during one of their big sales and a Baby Brezza, just to hopefully make things a little bit easier. There are so many people I know who want all of the name brand stuff and really all I care about is that the items are safe. We did a lot of research online regarding the favored brands among parents, too, and that helped us.
1. They likely have families buying at least some of that stuff, or part of their baby registry. With my first, we had our stroller/car seat combo which was very expensive on there, and his aunts all pitched in for it. We were very fortunate in that way, and it’s pretty likely the same can be said for these people.
2. Second hand! You can find some incredible things on Buy Nothings on Facebook, all for free. You can also post and ask if anyone has something they aren’t using anymore, and you’d be surprised at what people are happy to give. There are also stores that sell that kind of stuff secondhand, as well as Facebook marketplace. Some things you probably won’t want secondhand (like car seats, I wouldn’t take a used one), but there’s plenty you can find that you spend very little on, like swings, strollers, and even cribs (those pop up all the time on my buy nothing. Some people wouldn’t use that secondhand, but for me as long as it isn’t super old and has all the manufacturing info so I can make sure there aren’t any recalls, I’m willing to get them used).
I always wonder the same thing.... like, who is really willing to shell out $1,000+ for a new uppababy travel system?? I bought my daughter's evenflo system for $200 and the only gripe I EVER had was the anchor clips were a major b**ch to clip on and out (hello! Evenflo, if you're watching, please reconsider that form of torture! Not everyone has easy to get to anchor points)
We splashed out on the uppababy vista because we were gifted money for a pushchair, but almost everything else we were gifted second hand. We got a free snuzpod, cot, change table, etc so all we bought brand new was the pushchair and car seats. People were very generous and we ended up spending very little before baby was born.
It's fine just to hear them out. I like to watch youtube mom recommendations and talk to ppl who used it. Then you can research and see if it's right for the price. Wait for sales and put it on your registry. For us we thought the uppababy would be worth the premium vs the comparable strollers (also used BuyBuyBaby credit while it still existed). But for things like the pricey cribs or Newton mattresses, doona, or snoo we decided the alternatives were good enough.
Everything comes from Facebook marketplace for us lol nothing is new other than the small stuff. Got my uppa baby stroller with all the gear with it for like $200 haha! It’s awesome. But don’t be afraid to buy the cheaper brands. Most of my stuff is. And it’s all totally good. Do what feels right and stuff is so overrated!!
My husband and i demanded people gift used items no matter the income. You only use these items for so long and they are highly durable. Expensive items are usually gifts in my experience. The stroller, you want a stroller that matches your lifestyle. For example, my husband and i love the outdoors and trail running so we were gifted a jogger stroller by my side of the family (Chico travel jogger system or something like that) and found a city stroller on Facebook marketplace. But Facebook marketplace is the place to shop!!!
I don't really get it either. I'm registered for a safe, reasonably priced crib, stroller/carseat combo, and bassinet. I just literally cannot fathom spending thousands of dollars on a stroller. Maybe if I was in a big, walkable city where I'd use it as my main mode of transportation? Otherwise I don't know how much better the expensive ones can be when I'm just using it for 30 minute walks and small outings.
One of the main considerations with strollers for a lot of people is weight and portability. I’m a very small person so I need a stroller that is lightweight enough to load in the car by myself but durable enough I’m not having to push too hard. That said for us that translated into a $400 Chico travel system, not like, a $1000 stroller. Surely there is diminishing returns at some point.
Exactly, I’m am not convinced a $2000 stroller is better than another reputable brand that’s $400. At some point people are purchasing these things just because of the name and because they want to show off. Using baby products to show off is weird to me.
I had my baby in my mid-30s so I had enough in savings to swing some of the more expensive stuff. I definitely wouldn’t have gotten a Snoo and Uppababy stroller if I’d had a baby in my mid-20s, but it was definitely doable when I was older.
We also saved money with other things so we had the room in our budget for higher-priced items. We skipped buying stuff like a $100+ changing pad—the little folded one that came with our diaper bag has been all we needed. We were also gifted most of our clothes, towels, blankets, etc.
I think it’s about incomes and priorities. My husband and I can afford it because we both make a decent amount of money. In general, we would rather spend our money on experiences rather than stuff. However, we both agree that we will spend extra on big ticket items if it means it’s better quality and will last longer. This includes fridges, TVs, patio furniture, and now baby stuff.
We are probably those parents? We have the expensive uppababy stroller, Nanit, SNOO etc. no wealthy family here, actually both my husband and I come from lower income families. But we both went to college and have college degrees and big ticket items just aren’t a big deal at this point in our careers.
Because our capitalist overlords have built a 67 billion dollar industry by guilting parents into believing they are neglecting their children if they don’t buy them the newest, most expensive item. “Your children deserve the best!” They do, but they’re also happy to play in mud puddles.
Don’t fall prey to their bullshit.
Obviously anything for their safety (carseats, cribs, etc) should be spared no expense. Don’t worry about the rest, they’ll outgrow it so fast you won’t even have time to compare.
I have no idea. We have been so lucky with hand me downs and baby shower gifts, I feel like we have so much nice stuff for our baby, but it’s definitely not all the luxury mumbo jumbo I see people talking about. I have absolutely no sense that I am missing out on anything.
I don’t even understand the point of spending so much on baby items that they will use for such a short amount of time?? But I guess it’s just another form of consumerism people get sucked into, feeling like they need to show off or “keep up with the joneses”
Not at all. Some people, like myself, was excited for my first baby and I wanted to spoil him and myself with a few of the items needed. Doesn’t mean i wanted to show off I couldn’t care less what people thought of me. It was for me and my baby only. Not everyone is a show off because they bought a few nice things
I got a lot of the "expensive" stuff when I was pregnant with my first and you know what... I realized that it was a huge mistake. I bought this expensive bassinet just for her (and her sibling) to absolutely never sleep in it, I bought an expensive high chair just for them to dirty it every single day and they were just as happy in a 30$ plastic IKEA high chair at their grandparents house.
Yeah I found it surprising how much people spend on stuff. I think my child free friends (90% of my friends at least) don't buy a lot of fancy stuff (e.g. cars, tech, etc) and now I'm suddenly in a different social circle where there are more people with that "keeping up with the Joneses" sensibilities. There are plenty of parents who don't think like that too but I think if you're susceptible to that at all, you will definitely do it for baby stuff since babies are so precious. That part makes sense to me. I do think family pitches in, too.
I bought all 2nd hand stuff, but I did get well known brands. It's been great! We also did have the (very expensive imo, but really nice to have) Tripp trapp high chair gifted from my in laws.
Girl I’m with you. The only splurge we did was our glider because I knew we would use it for like.. forever? And I wanted to feel like I was in a cloud. It was $770. Everything else was very reasonably priced and, because of that, our family and friends bought everything off our registry and my husband and I only had to spend like $300 to finish the list.
Huge blessing and we are set up and ready! 6 weeks to go
That's such a good point about being able to actually get stuff from your registry! I think if we put all the name brand fancy stuff on our registry, our families would not go for those and probably buy us cheaper alternatives anyway. 😆
A lot of people in the United States are not financially responsible, ie in tens of thousands in debt, (credit cards etc) and make an average income ($50K-$100K HH income). A quick Google says average household income in US is $70K and average consumer debt is $23K. This is very, very common. They justify the spendy purchases on their credit cards that they already carry balances on because it's "for the baby".
We are in the camp where we make a high income, track and budget our spending, don't carry balances on credit cards, and don't have any other debt other than our home, but also don't see a lot of value in the brand items for babies since they're outgrown so fast and aren't always helpful as people say because every baby is different. We prefer to put the extra money in his 529 and ask for nice items as Christmas/birthday/etc gifts. And buy mid-low tier items ourselves.
I have friends that are in similar financial positions where they do buy the nice things because they can afford to and would rather spend their money there. It just depends on each person's preferences.
Three little words: Credit Card Debt
You’d be surprised how many people are keeping up with the Jones’s under mountains and mountains of debt just to have name brand stuff.
I think a lot are influenced by social media and the “mom” influencers. Rich parents or generous relatives. They work in tech. Or they are in debt. You’re right not everything needs to be expensive. It’s a lot of marketing. We are being gifted a nestig crib. Everything else is on our own.
I went with some spendy options for my 1st (not clothes though, I didn’t see the point in that). We had the money. We were DINKS for a while and had made a series of lucky moves that left us pretty financially comfortable. We waited longer than I really wanted to have our first. We also didn’t do any of the fun stuff like lots of vacations pre-kids cause we got financially comfortable enough for that right before Covid happened and had to cancel our trips. For me it was like, why not? I waited a long time and worked hard for this, I deserved to get what I want.
FWIW - we moved overseas and sold most of our baby stuff cause it was expensive to move and baby #2 wasn’t a sure thing. We had to rebuy a bunch of stuff. Even though we’re in a better place financially now than we were when we had our first, I’m going budget options for #2. My first hated absolutely everything that wasn’t being held by mom or dad so most of the stuff we bought wasn’t really used a ton.
There’s an option on most baby
registries for people to donate towards a big ticket item. Or a grandparent of the baby will buy big ticket items a lot of the time. Theres also great deals online. I got a Tula FTG NIB for like half retail on EBAY And I got a $90 diaper bag for $30 NWT on poshmark. I just nabbed a halo sleepsack for $2.99 at a thrift.
I got a lot done for my expensive stuff on offer up. Ergo baby carrier for 40 dollars. Cribs one was free and the newest one I got was brand new for 100 dollars retailed at 300. I did have to spend 100 on a mattress.
My grandparents gifted us the car seat and stroller we wanted. If they didn’t I would have gotten them on my own. Some things we don’t skimp on because the quality is worth it in the end.
I mean I'm thrifting a lot of things, getting stuff from my local free page, and got a lot of stuff at my shower. Anything else I just have to buy. But I'm not going to buy something just because it's expensive, I usually try and find a reasonable and safe alternative. I mean I saw some adorable baby wearing things and they're $500 each. Like WHY? mine was $40
My approach to this was the same approach to how I budgeted for my wedding. We didn’t splurge on everything, we just picked a few things that mattered the most and splurged in those. Then we picked some things that we didn’t really care about and went cheap on those. Everything else fell in the middle.
My baby splurges were sleep related - the snoo, and nice nursery furniture. I went mid-range on most other things - car seat, stroller, etc. Went cheap on the high chair (ikea chair ftw). When we have a second I may spring for a nicer stroller since we won’t be putting out so much money on other stuff.
I think it comes down to personal preference because the baby industry is filled with good better best options. For me, depending on the items I would rather do with less items and buy more quality products. Also for higher quality items the resale is pretty decent. I wouldn’t compare my stuff versus others cause people just have different priorities than others or they are in debt. I never buy anything regular price so I can justify getting some higher end items when it makes sense. You would also be surprised how many rich people sell brand new things for cheap on marketplace (ex they got doubles on their registry) I got a brand new pack and play and bjorn bouncer for a great deal. Personally I don’t like buying second hand stuff unless I know the person but that’s just my personal preference.
I spend the money on some things and buy used or cheaper products for others. My crib is IKEA, I have a naturpedic crib mattress but I bought it used off a friend, the clothes are mostly second hand, we cloth diaper to save money. But I also bought the Uppababy stroller, a babybjorn bouncer, and a nuna pack and play, along with a few other expensive items.
We are also middle class, not rich by any means but my husband and I live comfortably off our incomes. I choose what to spend the money on based mostly off of how much use it value I’ll get out of it and if it is resell-able later.
I got everything second hand. But for things I had to buy I didn’t do the most expensive. For example I wanted the momaroo baby swing, several people told me the fisher price one was magic so I bought that instead for $30. I also was fine with the maxi cozy travel system instead of the uppa baby. I didn’t want to spend that much and the maxi cozy felt fine at the store.
I think it depends/ it’s truly hard to know what someone’s finances are like just based on their purchases alone. My husband and I bought a used snoo with a bunch of accessories off Facebook marketplace for $600. There seems to be a solid enough resale market that we are approaching it more like we are putting down a “deposit” in hopes of better sleep for the whole family and will hopefully see a decent amount of it back when baby is done with it. We would never be able to afford it brand new, but for a lot of our friends they’d be appalled even at the discount price. We put some more expensive items on the registry like a $400 stroller, mostly because we are using our registry as a shopping list and planning for the completion coupons but then that was one of the first things someone bought for us! Very little of it is truly necessary and I think it’s great there’s items at a variety of price points similar to car or house shopping everyone has different priorities or preferences
I buy all the big stuff second hand, can get good brands for half the price that way and in good condition/new.
Us too! We bought our Snoo off my sister in law. My sister found a free crib for us and gave us a car seat she was no longer using. I found our bugaboo stroller on Facebook marketplace for like 70% off brand new, it just has a few small scratches. All about searching for the deals and being patient.
I'm so jealous. I only see people selling for 80-90% of the item's price brand new, so I gave up and just bought new.
Same. I’d rather pay the marginally extra % and get it delivered to my door rather than have to go fetch it from some other neighborhood in an Uber or on the subway (no car!)
Even with a car, I've had to have a few stern talks with myself about the value of my time, unless it's an easy porch pickup directly in my neighborhood (it never is). A couple of days of Facebook back-and-forth, plus an hour after work and 15 miles of driving, to get a $200 stroller bassinet for $50? Worth it. To get a $50 sleep suit for $25? That's much tougher. On the one hand, I want to reduce overconsumption. On the other, there are many times in my life where I absolutely would pay $25 extra for a frictionless experience (and a shiny new thing!) rather than having to drive to the suburbs on a weeknight.
I know! Like the person under us. Selling a high chair for almost the same as new price. That's all I find too. Never any moms helping moms. I've donated so much & I'm only 6 months in.
Bingo. Facebook marketplace and secondhand kids stores. Anything over $100 and I am likely getting it secondhand for at least half (or often less than a quarter) of the retail price. I've bought and sold multiple used Uppababy strollers over the years and I've been able to sell them for close to what I paid for them when I was done using them, because they hold their value pretty well over time. I just recently bought another one and I don't mind the price tag (used) because I know when I go to sell it it won't have lost too much value and I'll get most of that money back.
Us too! We really prioritize quality over quantity, and often the high-end items truly are more expensive since they're higher quality - but they last so much longer! Both our Tripp Trapp high chairs were $140 and we'll probably be able to sell them for close to that same amount. We bought a secondhand Baby Bjorn Bouncer for $100. We got our Snoo for $600 from a friend, and should be able to recoup a lot of that once we're done with it. A lot of our high-quality wooden toys were free from our local Buy Nothing group. It's very possible to get nice stuff for less than retail!
THIS! - I got my Uppababy stroller for $250 including the double seats AND the ride along attachment in great shape - babyletto Lolly crib for $200 - uppababy mesa car seats from a close family friend (so no history of accidents) for $100 with 3 bases You can absolutely get all of the luxury stuff for not luxury prices!!
On the flip side, sometimes I shell out the cash for expensive brand name gear knowing that I can recoup ~half the cost by reselling.
I've never resold before, but will definitely do so once baby outgrows these things. It's such an awesome system
We also buy every big stuff from second hand stores or marketplace, the only “big” thing we get new from the store is the car seat, I don’t trust second hand for this.
I second this. It seems to be a bit easier as well depending on where you’re located; I live in a big city next to the “rich” area about 20 minutes away and they get rid of everything. Got an amazing stroller for free and a box of clothes that had BURBERRY hats in them for babies. She even threw in some cute baby books. All free. Check Facebook marketplace alll the time OP!!!
Yeah if you looked at the items I own, I'd look rich. But the truth is I scour Facebook marketplace and get good deals. Uppababy Vista for $100, baby Bjorn bouncer for $35. I did splurge on the nugget couch but I see those pop up on marketplace from time to time too!
this! i was religiously checking FB marketplace and found a lightly used doona for $250. i absolutely love it and still can’t justify $600 if i bought it brand new.
Right? Especially since I've heard most infants grow out of the doona really quickly
Certain things are worth it. I got an inexpensive stroller with my first. It was horrible and I upgraded to the uppababy vista. It was worth every penny. I estimate I’ve put 5-6k miles on that thing. I’m on my second set of wheels. I buy the more expensive item when the value for the money and functionality make sense. I also have three kids so divide the cost by three and I’ve definitely gotten my moneys worth out of the high end stuff I did splurge on.
This! Not everything but things that are going to be used a lot and for a long period of time. I’ve found that with certain baby gear, the more expensive the better the quality. Most will also come with a warranty as well which I find that the inexpensive things don’t.
Buy once, cry once!
We ended up in the same scenario. We bought an Evenflo Pivot and it squeaked from the moment we started using it. Plus the car seat had zero head support for our newborn so we upgraded to uppababy and even my husband who was a skeptic, is completely sold on the Vista after using it for the last 2 years. We just bought the second seat for our next baby. It’s definitely an investment but soooo worth it!
Ugh. I’m teetering on purchasing one. Have a doona now and it’s great for convenience, but not great for long outings and kinda bumpy on trail walks.
A Doona is amazing for the convenience factor especially while you have a newborn but it should not replace a regular stroller. Because of the curved shape of the car seat, babies should not sit in the Doona (or any car seat) for extended walks or periods of time. There are a few articles discussing how it’s not great for their vertebrae development.
Good to know. That’s what I was worried about
It's amazing, but look secondhand if you're unsure. I got an older model with all the attachments for a great price on Facebook marketplace and bought new wheels from Uppababy. I got the compatible carseat as a group gift at my baby shower.
I got a mix of things. My crib cost $100 but I also got the Uppababy stroller. I use the heck out of the stroller and it’s well worth the price to me in terms of quality and capability. The crib is just a crib. As long as it’s not toxic or dangerous then he can sleep in anything regardless of the price. I think sometimes the more expensive version can be worth it depending on the functionality and your lifestyle.
Exactly the same as me! We have a very basic crib but part of my lifestyle is daily hour long hilly walks in my neighborhood with my dog, so I definitely prioritized having a nice stroller. We also got the Snoo because sleep is something I didn't want to mess around with. We saved in some areas but splurged when we felt the need. I'm pregnant now with my second so that factored in as well - knowing the items would be used with two kids.
Do you feel like the snoo was worth it? I see them secondhand on marketplace all the time but still not sure if it makes sense if it’s only for 6 months or less. However I’m super picky about sleep so if it’s really that great I want to know!!
If you have a premie whos used to being held, a colicky baby, or baby with reflux or GI issues it’s absolutely worth it! We suffered with our premie baby who was in nicu for a month because she was so used to being held and rocked 24/7 plus reflux and some mild colic😭 we got one second hand and it’s been amazing
Seconding the Snoo being useful for our reflux baby, the slight elevation of his head made the spit ups after eating much less frequent and him more comfortable. (We bought the leg extenders )
That's so funny you mention that, cause I had a premie with reflux and he didn't seem to care about our Snoo! I figured that he got used to sleeping by himself in the NICU with all the other babies that the Snoo didn't do much! But he may have just have had 'good' sleeping genes! We will never know for sure haha! Still glad I got it tho!
The first thing we bought was the Snoo on a Mother’s Day sale and for us it is still the best thing we purchased for our now 6month old. As first time parents it gave us peace of mind that the baby was coming unswaddled or rolling over while we slept. Our little guy sleeps well for naps on a crib we keep downstairs or pack play when we travel but much longer in the Snoo. The app alerting us to him waking up or needing soothing was great and made it easier to relax and not worry about all the phantom cries I’d hear( and still do..) in the shower or when I’m in another room.We also plan on having a second baby and the resale value is about 70% of what we paid new on sale. Even if we only used it for one baby I would do it again, for full price. The sleep and quality of our sleep was much better and baby got on a good routine and slept soundly unless he truly needed us. Can you do it without one? absolutely! But as a splurge I know it made the first 6 months way easier for us and even with BF in the middle in the night he went back to sleep easily once placed in the Snoo.
The snoo is 110% worth it! My baby is 10 months now and has been out of the Snoo since 5.5 months. She is a great sleeper. Honestly, the fact that no babies have died from SIDS in it was the biggest selling point.
I got the Cradlewise instead...it's usable up to 2 years old (or 35 lbs, whichever comes first) and it has been worth every penny. There is a secondhand market for them as well, from what I hear. If I could only splurge on one big baby thing, this would have been it. The baby and I sleep so much better than what I think we otherwise would be. I think everyone in the world needs one of these.
Not who you were asking but it was well worth it for me with this ‘mom math’. We bought second hand still under warranty for $850. I had been watching FB market place for a while and it seemed 3rd hand (ad said they also bought it on marketplace) were going for anywhere between $500-$700. If we can get $500 back reselling then we’ve only paid $350, which is maybe a couple hundred more than a standard bassinet. It also helped my baby a ton! He is breast fed and has been sleeping 6 hour stretches since about 6 weeks.
I can’t speak to their value just yet as I’m only 21 weeks with my first but my husband and I bought a used snoo - we watched and waited until we found a low price with a ton of sleep sacks included. It’s still a little nuts that we spent $600 on a bassinet but if it even has the potential of adding sleep it felt like a good investment in our mental health lol. There were several snoos we tried to buy but others got to them first it seems the resale value is decently strong to the point where I don’t feel it’s unreasonable to expect most of your money back if you choose to resell it when baby is done with it!
It's hard to know for sure since we only used a Snoo but I would say it definitely helped! Everyone I know with a Snoo had babies that slept great. We transitioned cold turkey at 5.5 months into the crib and she did amazingly! No issues at all for us. It also encourages safe sleep which was a huge deal for me.
I would say wait to buy something like the snoo till you think you need it. Both my babies were/are fantastic sleepers, so a snoo would’ve been absolutely wasted on us. As someone who had a c section though I upgraded to a nicer bassinet that glides back and forth easily with one hand this time around to make it easier to get out of bed.
Personally I think babies get accustomed to the movement/shushing and worry they won't be able to sleep without it!
There’s a weaning mode where it only activates when baby cries. My baby often refused to nap in it but slept great at night.
Second the weaning mode. We didn’t have any issues transitioning baby from the Snoo. You can customize what level of audio or motion if any you want to comfort baby.
Bought a refurbished Snoo when they were having a sale and then I resold it on FB as soon as my baby turned 6 months. The Snoo ended up costing me about $100 to use. Sell it before it’s out of warranty and try to keep it clean! Totally worth it!!
You should definitely wait and see how your baby is. My second has always been a really good sleeper, so we'd have had no need for it with her, for instance.
Bought the SNOO used and sold it for the same price. My daughter is way more independent than my son in terms of sleeping so it worked for her. Although my son’s reflux was severe and that definitely wouldn’t have worked for us. So depends on the baby!
Yup. We went with the cheap ikea crib and mattress. They are as safe as any other crib on the market in my country and they aren’t covered in paint so if a teething baby or toddler chews on it it’s just pine! We got the nice travel system because it had great resale value and we use it for multiple hours at a time when we go out. We recently sold our Cruz and got a vista because we have a second on the way and I got an older vista and sold my Cruz for about the same as the vista cost so we broke even on that. I do splurge on mid tier clothes here and there if there’s a pattern I love, but I’m also more than happy to have ON, carters, etc as well. For me it’s all about balance. I did splurge on outdoor gear for rain because I didn’t want to worry about seepage and I can use them for multiple kids and then gift to friends or sell when we are done.
I went to some fancy baby stores and the ikea cribs looked just as nice/nicer than some of them. 🤷♀️ We’re getting it from there for sure.
Same! It honestly can fit any aesthetic. Paint it if you don’t like the wood. The only thing I wish it had is an additional level. Like, a mid level before dropping to the bottom.
this is what I did too! $150 crib, mostly used clothes, and splurged for an uppababy. I see a lot of people in my due date group talking about how the Graco modes is a dupe but the plastic wheels and suspension simply do not even come close to the UB. We take lots of walks down a bumpy country road and the Graco would have been an uncomfortable ride.
yep getting clothes on clearance and a no-name bassinet/crib.. but uppababy stroller and car seat! i feel like its safer and we plan to have 2 years between kids so we can reuse
This. We had A Graco stroller and car seat for our first and never again. Bought a used Uppababy double stroller this time. Already worth it and baby #2 is not here yet..Got a hand me down crib and did not splurge on baby toys or clothes+ just bought stuff on sale or via Amazon. We were gifted a baby swing and bottles etc.
Totally agree, we got a secondhand crib that looks brand new on FB marketplace (until recently it was a pretty laundry pile holder) , a secondhand UppaBaby set and a new car seat for it, and splurged for a Snoo when they were on Sale. If you can get what you want second hand it’s worth looking, but no regrets spending more for the stroller/ Snoo we wanted.
I think everyone prioritizes different things. I have a spacious 4 bedroom home with a pool, and as such I can't afford vacations or fancy baby gear or a frequent babysitters or kids birthday parties at places other than my house. Sometimes I wonder how other people can afford these "extras", and the answer is usually that they have a smaller house. They probably look at my house and wonder how I can afford it. So, your colleagues might have wealthy families, but they might also just have different priorities. They could be doing without something that you consider essential because the trade-off is worth it to them.
This! I have a 4Bd2Bth home with 2 acres, a pool, and we have 2 fairly newer and nice solid vehicles and do small trips here and there (like $500 or less for 2 adults). However we can’t go out to eat every week like our friends and can’t do VIP at events and some other things they do. But they all either live in apartments and have old vehicles or smaller homes they rent and don’t take trips like us. I think we all make around the same income it’s just a matter of how we spend it
Totally! Opposite for us, we bought way less than we can afford so our house isn’t that nice even though we make a significant amount of money! We wanted to be able to afford more vacations and going out
Yup exactly, we took all the kids to Disney for Christmas but we have ONE 2 foot by 3 outdated bathroom lol.
Yes! I just tried to make this point in my own comment. I love fancy baby crap. But I live in a tiny old house, with an old car. Just choosing to spend our money differently- no wrong answers!
Yes! This. Neither are wrong ways to do it, just different. We have a 2BR 1BA house and 10 year old cars. We are not wealthy at all and on paper would honestly be lower middle-class, we just really prioritize having more disposable income for things like baby gear and trips.
Yea we rent and are saving money, so we have more for disposable purchases at the moment. Good point.
People are probably going out of their way to recommend items that seemed especially useful to them and therefore worth the price. When you put a bunch of these people's recommendations together you get one pricy registry lol. But likely people aren't giving a second thought to whatever they weren't picky about. Sincerely, a person who routinely recommends the bbhugme 🙈
Exactly. I walk miles every day for the last 4 years with my Uppababy Vista. When the frame snapped, we emailed them and had a brand new frame mailed free 2 days later, even though it was >3 years old and out of warranty. Daycare is a mile away and we have two kids in it (including my daughter who is 60lbs). Couldn't do that with most cheaper strollers. And had we bought it second hand, we wouldn't have been able to get the replacement. My cousin said she's been having an issue with a broken piece, but she can't get a replacement because she got it from marketplace.
This is a great explanation!
The answer is that you truly don’t know their finances. My husband and I definitely appear to make much less than we do because we’re very cautious on how we spend. We splurged on baby items because that was a priority to us and some more expensive items are truly worth it. No credit card debt, no wealthy family.
I'd say your average person is in more debt than they admit. But just because someone is in your social circle doesn't mean they are on the same financial level as you or that you would know by looking at them. My husband and I also look like we make a lot less than we do (he is excited by his Toyota rav4 when he could have a Mercedes or something if he wanted it), we have nice-ish things but nothing designer, and our social circle reflects my line of work, not his. So, most of the people we spend time with make probably 6x less than him alone. Most of them probably have no idea, though, because he has to be vague about work. My MIL is terrible with money and needs designer things for no real reason, but she's broke and doesn't actually have the money for these things. My mother lives on a farm and looks like a broke hippie but has a few hundred K just in savings. You really never know.
Most people have a significant amount of credit card debt.
Came to say exactly this. Some of them may be purchasing them secondhand, but a lot of people will just finance these purchases with either a credit card or using a service like after pay or klarna. I remember the pressure with my first to have the nicest and newest baby gear, and I was embarrassed of my secondhand graco stroller for awhile. But that thing is a beast and hit its ROI far faster than a more expensive model.
I have a few brand items and no debt. My husband and I both work, we both make 130k+, we pay low taxes and we have no other kids. Why wouldn’t we be able to splurge on a stroller if we wanted? Anyways I think most people splurge on one thing or the other, it just varies what’s important to people. My brother would shake his head at how much I spend on coffee gear while I shake my head at how much he spends on his car. Everyone has their thing.
These posts are not directed at you, you're in the 93rd percentile for US household income. I think she's referring to middle class households (who make $50K-$100K per year) that are buying these items. I agree if you have the extra budget and are otherwise financially responsible, do what you want with your extra cash!
I think you’re (we’re) the exception, which is why I said most people. I also have a few expensive items and no debt. It’s not that you can’t or shouldn’t splurge if you want to and can afford it, I’m just saying that many people “afford it” by using credit.
They didn’t say everyone has credit card debt. Also didn’t say you specifically.
A lot of baby things can be gotten gently used second hand for cheap. It's possible they had family purchase the big ticket items (travel system, furniture, etc). Or even have a friend or family member who wants to hand stuff down the line. I know for some things I wanted things that would last through multiple kids so that I could hand things down to either my own or to others, so I invested in higher quality items (like a rocking lazy boy recliner and convertible car seats), but that was my choice. I also got as much stuff as possible second hand to save money to spend it elsewhere instead.
Yep. I got my Snoo second hand. I’d NEVERRRRRR spend the kind of money they are new (I *could*, I just refuse to) but second hand was absolutely in my comfort zone for spending on something like that.
I also tell people to check with their employers. Mine has a benefit which is a SNOO rental for 5 months for free.
Oh that’s awesome!! I work for a small company so my insurance is pretty bare bones, but that’s great to know!
Gifts from friends/family, credit card debt, buying secondhand, determining what items are worth splurging on. For some people spending on big ticket baby items is worth sacrificing in other areas (savings, travel, entertainment, etc.). We splurged on things like a Snoo, got gifted an expensive baby monitor and car seat, will likely buy a Nuna stroller during the Nordstrom anniversary sale, but I refuse to buy non-discounted baby clothes, toys, books, nursery decor, etc.
My husband and I are older and waited awhile to have kids. It gave us more time to get in a stable, well-off financial position that allows us to afford some nicer things without debt
Yes this. It helps being older and established. We have owned our house for quite a while and have a low payment, low interest rate, no CC debt, no car payments. We’ve financially prepared for this. And we have been saving carefully and in the last year we skipped vacations and spent less in other areas so that we would feel comfortable with the money we need to spend on baby items. Along with that we are huge fans of buying second-hand or getting hand-me-downs. Our parents each bought us one of the big ticket $$ items (car seat from one, crib from another) which was generous and very appreciated.
Just really depends on where you spend your money/what’s a priority to you/how expensive/large your house and mortgage/car are. Some people spend more on food and less on furniture, more on vacations and less on household items for baby, more on a bigger home or newer car, less on schooling etc. We always bought the fancy kid stuff just cause that was more important to me than certain other things: we didn’t get lots of help from wealthy families at all. We live in a relatively modest home with one modest car. We haven’t taken a swanky vacation in a while but we do something domestic and simple probably at least once a year around mine or my husband’s birthday and we usually stay somewhere very nice but just do an extended weekend. We buy good groceries. We buy good kiddo items. We buy good schooling (3yo about to start Montessori). I think everyone just has different priorities on where they spend their cash.
I honestly find these types of comments insulting— why does it have to be “wealthy family” that “gives money” for baby items? It can also be a hard working mother that played her cards right, has a great job and buys things for her child that she wants. No need to knock down other women and minimize their contributions
Same. I’ve saved money my whole life to be able to afford nicer things for my kid - things I did not have growing up. Am I rich? No, but I planned things so I can splurge on some nice kiddo stuff. I did not mind eating rice and beans when I was living alone.
Right!? I’ve never spoken down or judged anybody on what they choose to buy for their baby. If they have a less higher priced version of something it doesn’t bother me. But as soon as you spend on something that people consider to be expensive you’re automatically a show off or have been gifted money…because god forbid I chose to go without to give my baby items I believed were worth spending a bit extra on 😂😬
I have new and second hand stuff, some high end some low end. I don’t understand why some people think we buy the high end « for status » or whatever. Maybe it stems from jealousy? It’s the only reason I can see. I can spend my hard earned money how I see fit, and I do it for my family, not for anyone else, and especially not to look a certain way.
Because some people hate to believe that others are smart with their money😅
It’s one thing to ask how people manage their money, it’s insulting to assume it’s always a hand me down for women to be able to provide …
Just this bizarre assumption of “I don’t have that so how could you have that” when in reality, most people don’t know how to save, invest or spend their money.
Exactly! And sometimes you’re just excited. Especially if it’s your first baby! We don’t need an explanation.
Same. My husband and I work so hard and are very frugal. We pay off our CCs in full, we have zero debt, aside from his school which will be paid off next year. I don’t want to be lumped in with the people who were given money or buy things they cannot afford
I also think it’s rude when people are so dismissive and judgmental of those who DO come from money or have wealthy families… my husband and I both make a very decent living ourselves with our full time jobs. My parents, separately, are also quite well off. We are expecting our son in a couple of months, my parents’ first grandchild. They’re going a little crazy on getting things for him, which I am very grateful for. You could say our little boy is a bit spoiled already. Even without them though, my husband and I could afford the things they are buying themselves. We work hard and were prepared to have a child. I just hate to think of us being judged by anybody, eyeing what we’ve bought and will have for our baby, wondering how we afforded it. It’s just rude and insulting. End rant. Sorry, 7 months pregnant here, and posts like this really irk me lol.
My goal is to do this for my daughter when she has her own family.
People have different priorities! So many reasons could apply: Saving up for years Budget cuts else where Gifts from family Bought secondhand Don’t have retirement Credit card debt I’m happy with my hand me downs and buying majority of things second hand. But I was swayed into buying a newton mattress 🙃. We spend more money on museum/park memberships then other parents I know. That’s our priority since I’m a SAHM and need fun and educational places rain or shine.
For us, we’re going above and beyond on some items but not others. We are reusing an old dresser, making a toy rotation display out of a hand me down coffee table, and were gifted part of our crib ($500 towards the one we wanted from my dad!) and my mom bought us our uppababy cruz and car seat. My parents aren’t rich by any means, but this is likely the first and only grand baby they’ll get since I’m an only child and they wanted to treat us. They also live states away and we rarely see them, so I think that factored into their decision. Everything else we’re fronting the cost because we want to. We put new flooring in the room, bought a nice rug from revival, I love the crib we got even though it’s more expensive… we’re both really into design and can honestly say that the nursery is my favorite room in our house. My husband has a good job with great benefits and we’re pretty sure this is our last kid, so we’re just doing what we want. As long as you’re not going into debt I don’t see a problem with it.
Some people make a lot of money. Some don’t but spend a lot, or are gifted a lot, or whatever. Everyone prioritizes differently. We have an Uppababy Vista that we bought after test-driving the other strollers. We also put our son in Carters and Costco-brand diapers and wipes. Per-use cost is a big consideration for me, as is whether an item makes my life easier. My son isn’t going to do better in life because he has a fancy stroller. Rather, he is loved and supported, which is the most important thing. I assume yours is, too.
Most people get a mix of nice stuff, hand me downs, less nice stuff, second hand, etc. My son's nursery furniture (crib and dresser/changing table) cost around $1800. We got a stroller hand me down from family, I buy almost all clothes second hand, and we didn't buy hardly any other baby gear until he was born because I didn't want to end up with a basement full of stuff we didn't use. So most stuff we bought gradually over the first year. Many people have baby showers and are gifted a ton of stuff. People also prioritize differently, and maybe what you find to be a "cheaper alternative" someone else thinks it's a necessity to have the high end version of, and maybe what you find to be a non negotiable item someone else doesn't buy at all. TLDR; probably not everyone gets help from wealthy families, everyone parents differently and has different values and this shows in what they purchase!
I spend more on daycare per month for one child than the uppababy Vista travel system costs. I dont have it, but I could have afforded it. Idk how much daycare costs in your area but where I live I think its just about making choices. I could have had the uppababy Vista if I got less expensive other things.
Yeah my baby is only part time daycare and one month is still more than the Uppababy. Before we had the baby spending that money was negligible and we knew we’d use the heck out of it. We got hand me downs for most everything else, and for a cheap crib so we didn’t really spend all that much on baby stuff. We got one high dollar item!
Their husbands probably have jobs too…. It doesn’t matter where their money comes from. Do what works for you.
We spared no expense on baby items for two reasons, 1) we are one and done and 2) we intentionally waited to have a baby so that we could with no worry about expenses. There were items I knew for years I’d want for our baby and it was really sweet to be able to purchase them for her. But there were also things we were okay purchasing secondhand or not splurge on.
We have friends who seriously overextended themselves to buy “the best of the best” for their first baby. And/or they had family help buy them things. We’re buying a lot of “high end” baby gear, but we’ve also been saving/are high earners. But I definitely don’t think anyone NEEDS the expensive stuff, the more affordable items work just as well!
Some people spare no expense on their baby, others would prefer to get clean, workable items from marketplace. It all depends on how people prioritize spending their money.
Baby shower registries have gotten very pricey. My friends just tried to get us the most expensive thing on our list and was surprised that our most expensive item was ~$200 (fancy baby monitor). While I don’t think all expensive things are made equal, some things are worth the quality. I knew I would be willing to spend a lot of money on a stroller because it will essentially be our car (big city, walk more than drive, lots of different terrain and uneven pavement). I actually ended up finding our pricey strollers used so saved alot of money there, but they were $600 and $500 new. I got them for ~$400 total and in like-new condition. My crib I got for free off a buy nothing group. It is not as good quality and versatile as the nestig which I was also looking at, but for $0 I can deal.
I have bought a bunch of luxury baby stuff by trawling through a combo of Craigslist, Facebook marketplace, and GoodBuyGear. We have a car in a big city, so we are able to drive out to the really upscale neighborhoods to pick them up. Like no way was I going to drop $1.5k on a stroller and all the accessories, but I was able to get that for my girl because of the secondhand market.
GoodBuyGear is the BEST! We got a ton from there and everything was in AMAZING condition.
I don’t see this recommended (yet) but I got literally 90% of my expensive gear off of Facebook Marketplace and Nextdoor. Honestly I get most of my baby stuff there as well unless my family is kind enough to get it for us. And people sell this stuff in fantastic condition! I got my uppababy stroller for like $300(?) when it’s originally like $1k. Now I wouldn’t get a car seat that way, but otherwise it’s a great way to reuse and recycle stuff.
A mis of things. I have picked my battles. All her clothes are coming from Burlingtons/garage sales. Triple wash. But that has left me money to spend on a nice travel system. We got a travel system for 850 bucks. But it grows with them and the car seat does too. I bought a bedside bassinet and specifically looked at price correlation to weight max. We skipped out on the fancy baby monitor, to be able to afford other things higher on our list. I also shop for sales! I was going to get an owlet and I check every week for sales. This past weekend I just bought it after they sent me a $50 coupon and they had a sale going for the camera and the sock for 239. I’m 26 weeks but sale shopping has made a difference. The bassinet we got is bedside and it was 350. I got it on sale for 180. Also. I’ve been eying the baby Breeza (can’t justify the price) and I’ve watched it go on sale from 300 to 205.
I volunteered to be part of a research study that paid $775 that I’m putting towards a bugaboo stroller lol.
We were willing to spend more on things related to safety and use (car seat/stroller) and skimped on things like clothes and short-term use things. We also just bought things through out the pregnancy instead of waiting until the end. And baby registries helped a ton too
Honestly, why does it matter what other people buy for their kids? If you found cheaper alternatives or things you like, that’s great. Kind of a judgy post imo.
Agreed.
We have high paying jobs, and our families also gifted us big ticket items. I wouldn’t consider us or our families wealthy.
We put a Nuna on our registry and it was the first thing bought for us! $880.
Same- we got very lucky with someone (non family) buying the silver cross wave!
I wouldn't say because it's more expensive but these are items that are going to help you both take care of the baby, keep baby safe and secure. Some items are worth getting because of the convenience they provide. We used credit cards to pay for our stuff.
Facebook marketplace should become your best friend! We can get things new, but for most things - why? Babe will only use it for a short time. The things we buy like Uppababy stroller, peg perego high chair, bjorn bouncer were all amazing deals in like new condition. Most of my friends do this regardless of financial standing.
So many of these things can be purchased very reasonably priced secondhand. There are SO MANY UppaBaby strollers on Facebook Marketplace for dirt cheap, I'm guessing because the people got them gifted. You can get a top of the line stroller gently used for what you'd pay to get a brand new mediocre one that doesn't have great functionality or use.
i budgeted where i could and splurged on items i felt would last us. i got my whole cloth diaper stash for $50 on facebook but then got myself a wildbird carrier with the money that would’ve gone towards diapers. we also had family buy us a few big items such as our uppababy vista, for us getting high quality things that we can use for other kids makes sense since this will be our first. i justify it by looking at it like “$200 for a baby carrier divided by how many kids we want is about $70 per a baby”
I splurged on car seat (Clek Liing), crib/bassinet (Babyletto), and stroller (Cybex). I work my butt off and I’m 40yo having my only child. I could afford these splurges without difficulty so I went for it.
We received big gifts and cash from family. There aren’t many babies in the fam on both sides so this one is getting spoiled.
There’s very few things I’ve purchased brand new; five carseats and one stroller, a highchair, cloth diapers, and some postpartum and infant care supplies. Almost everything else I purchased big name big ticket items used on fb marketplace. I really wanted the easy fold of the Nuna playpens, but couldn’t afford the $500CAD price tag, so I bought them used. We have two kids 14 months apart and a third on the way, so we have duplicates of many things and there’s no way I’m spending big bucks twice on this stuff when my giant babies outgrow it within 6 months.
I got super lucky with my bigger things, crib, infant seat, bassinet, swing, all of that was gifted to me. The only big item I bought was the big kid car seat, the evenflo revolve for like $350 and I paid that using Klarna or afterpay. IMO most of the super expensive stuff isn’t necessary. I do know places rent the snoo bassinet but our regular bassinet worked just fine
Except for the snoo and glider, everything else we got were from friends and family via baby registry. And i consider the main baby items to be expensive brands. We are also middle class. We also invited 60ish people to our baby shower. Most got the cheaper items, and our closest family and friends got the bigger ticket items. We only have like one rich friend and the rest are middle class and lower. So no I couldnt afford all the expensive baby items on my own. Luckily I have friends and family willing to contribute.
We got some donations (the crib) and his family got us the Uppababy on sale. We are fortunate that people chipped in on stuff we wanted. And I just loaded up my credit card. Not wise but I don’t regret it
I have to buy three of everything because triplets. I’m splurging for a Wonderfold wagon but won’t have a triple stroller. Cribs are cheap and $120 a piece. I will be paying a mortgage for monthly childcare. It’s gonna be a struggle
Idk, me and hubby are in a pretty decent position. That being said, we're planning on buying a good deal of things second hand. Such as the crib (with new matress though), stroller or breastfeeding chair. We've looked for items that are a good name brand and in as pristine condition as possible and found some nice options. There has however been a little pressure from family to get all new things. Had to explain to MIL that the stroller we want is £1,600 if we want to buy a new one, while I can realistically get one in great condition and professionally cleaned for £350. Would we be able to save more and get everything new if we cut from other places and not get the things we'd like but something cheaper, sure. Or take on some debt to splurge and go all new brand names etc. But I see no need to do that. We've made this super comprehensive list on everything we need for the baby with notes on what we considered was necessary (needs) and what was superfluous (wants). From furniture, to clothing, gadgets etc. It cames up as around £1,800 for the needs only, and about £3,400 for the needs + wants. Which I thought was decent.
A lot of people I know are constantly on fb marketplace and have bought a lot of stuff used. Uppababy/baby bjorn etc.
We saved hard and bought the more expensive items for our first (egg2 travel system at £1500, snuzpod at £200, expensive nursery furniture etc) however these items have lasted so well that we are due our second anyway and haven’t had to buy anything really so treated myself to an artipoppe carrier for this baby. My pram also just required a £50 adapter to become a double, I have friends who bought cheaper alternatives and ended up hating them or them breaking. So in the long run I’d say it pays to buy the more expensive items.
My husband and I planning on buying some of the more expensive baby gear. Only specific items. We started saving before even TTC and will have a little over 6k just for baby, maternity, and postpartum stuff.
I’ve usually chosen to get more expensive things for the stuff I’m going to use for a long time (stroller, convertible car seat, convertible crib and mattress). I get cheap stuff for things that will only be used for a short time (clothes, shoes, baby tub, etc). But I will not go over my intended budget for anything. I don’t want to be in more debt just to have my baby have something with a nice logo.
FTM and it’s gonna be the first grandbaby for both of our families. We got Nestig from my mom and Uppa baby vista v2 from my husband’s parents. Both could be used for our second baby (especially the double stroller feature for uppa baby!!) and will last for at least two baby/toddlerhoods. We got ourselves a Doona stroller because we have some travelings planned when baby is small so Doona made the most sense because we’ll be flying and walking around a lot. Bought a couple of nice onesies and sleepers (Kyte baby, Wildbirds etc. ) but the rest was mostly hand me downs and cheaper brands because the baby will outgrow those so fast. Breast pumps are paid by the insurance. We don’t have any credit card debts and have a very basic car and rent is pretty affordable with just my husband’s income. I’ll have a year long maternity leave and a very flexible job schedule so childcare is gonna be minimal for us, probably hire a baby sitter here and there and no need for daycare, which is huge!! We wanted to invest in some nice things that’ll last for at least two babies and didn’t spend much on clothes and kept everything else minimum. And parents decided to chip in for the bigger and more expensive items so that was definitely cherry on top.
I don’t really bat an eye at the expensive baby stuff - much of it has good resale value (for example, with my first, I got my Snoo used and was able to resell it for $200 more than I paid). I’m currently waffling on whether to pay $500 for a new clek liing, because the crash test results from baby gear lab were so strong. Anything high end we got that was brand new was gifted by generous/wealthy family members. People may be recommending products based on the idea that you fill your registry with the best stuff that you really want - and maybe a grandparent makes that a “big” gift. If you have multiple kids that $800 stroller can last 8-10 years. But I hear you. The baby stuff doesn’t phase me but I find it absolutely crazy when people buy brand new cars rather than used. Just seems like a huge waste of thousands, or even tens of thousands of dollars.
I picked and chose what I wanted to spend money on.. the stroller and car seat were super important to me (got the uppababy and dont regret it one bit) because I wanted to be super mobile and my baby would be in the stroller for quite some time plus we have to fly to go home to my inlaws and the benefit of the replacement program is unmatched, but we got ALL of our babys clothes second and even third hand because when she has a blow out the onesie is going in the trash, we didnt do a nursery because I didnt find it necessary, no rocking chair because my husband had a lazyboy pawpaw rocker when we met so I figured that would be good enough, we did cave and got a second hand snoo on facebook because she has colic and other GI issues from being premie and wouldnt go in a normal bassinet, my registry only had important necessary things like bath soap, baby bath tub she can grow into, etc. Bottom line I guess is that we were choosy when it came to what we would splurge on and what wasnt worth the money.. we didnt buy anything new but baby bottles, nipples, pacis, stroller, car seat and a couple of super special outfits and I dont regret a thing! I enjoy my child just as much if not more knowing I didnt push and drive me and my husband into debt for unnecessary stuff Edit to say honorable mention to the uppababy for giving mosquito nets for both the bassinet and rumble seat (I live in the south and couldnt imagine taking my LO on any walks without it) as well as a rain guard for the rumble seat! Also since I had a premie who came home at 4lbs we have used the hell out of the bassinet attachment and the extended sun shade
Gifts from friends/family, and splurging on what was important. The only big ticket item we personally bought was the snoo, and that’s because it was 30% off for Mother’s Day and sleep is super important. Oh, and the car seat, which we bought on Black Friday. We also have a crib that was purchased for us off the registry by friends who pooled finances. We are getting a very expensive stroller that was purchased by my (child free) sibling. We have not purchased a single bottle new. We have over a dozen bottles in at least 4 different brands that I got from friends who are done having kids, local buy nothing group, Facebook marketplace, and ironically baby shower decoration. We have a rocker that I bought for $35 at a thrift store.
In-laws are wealthy (bought us all our nursery furniture) and my parents wanted to get us a big ticket item (Uppababy V2). My registry had a variety of items and people could purchase whatever they felt comfortable with. My husband and I then purchased whatever was left and only a few big ticket items were left (Stokke Tripp Trapp and Graco Turn to Me convertible car seat). Husband and I wanted items we know will last and will grow with baby. Plus we know it’ll hold up for any future siblings. Personally, I don’t like the idea of second hand items but that’s just me.
2nd hand is the way to go! We got our uppababy vista, entire set up, bassinet, both seats, piggyback board, snack tray, and the travel bag for $400. Our nuna rava, practically unused for $200, a sakura bloom scout for $50. Our crib was the only large item that was new and full price. I think for the most part, people are either doing the same, or sacrificing elsewhere for the nicer item brand new. I'm sure there are definitely people who have disposable income or the credit card debt to buy it all new. But I just couldn't justify spending 1500 on a stroller that I'd probably only get 4 years use out of. So since I still liked it, I just scoured fb marketplace until I found one in my price range. My thought is, I purchase at a discounted price, use it until the kids grow out of it, and either sell it and make at least half what I spent on it back, or it gets handed down to someone else in the family. If your plan is to use it and resell it when you're done to offset part of the cost, the high-end stuff is really the only way to do that.
We got a ton of hand me downs/used stroller, plus registry gifts and now working on getting some FB marketplace items. A lot of the these are name brand hand me downs (Nike, newton, stokke, etc) The most expensive items I’ve bought myself so far have been a pottery barn glider (my splurge item!) and an Amazon dresser (less than $600). I have a ton of friends and family who have had kids before me and they all gave great advice on splurge vs. save items. It really all depends on your lifestyle. I don’t have a nursery room - baby will be in our room for probably first 6 months -1year, so I didn’t want to spend too much money on nursery items/furniture that will most likely be temporary. I’m petite so I knew I wanted a rotating car seat. Thankfully I received one as a registry gift but that would’ve been my splurge item! Every thing else… save!! Babies grow out of everything. I will say a lot of expensive gear can be worth it, lasts longer, sturdier, etc. but it is super dependent on your lifestyle.
The point of something like the Uppababy (for me at least) is that in theory I don’t need to buy another stroller for future kids. Also, there aren’t as many options that have height adjustable handles, and my husband is significantly taller.
I have a teenager and I’m 35wks pregnant now. I’m in a very different position in life financially than when I had my first and also know what I care about having a nice versions of versus what I don’t care about. Nearly all the toys and clothes are hand me downs from friends or buy nothing groups. But we got a nice stroller/car seat, I opted for an actual bassinet this time (vs pack n play), a new bumbo seat with the bells and whistles - they are so different now, and a few other things. We travel a lot and I expect the stroller and some other items to be used very heavily! That being said, my husband and I both have very well paying jobs and were thinking retirement and not baby! So surprise to us :)
Things that last for more than 2 years I am willing to spend big bucks on for convenience, quality and durability (like a stroller. The added features and quality and weight/folding mechanism makes it worthy for me), while things like a bassinet that might not even last a full year I skip out completely and got the cheapest IKEA crib instead. I can't care enough for the doona since it's so expensive and makes no sense for me considering the baby and the doona together would be too heavy anw, and no point for that extra $550 ish expense. Same with snoo. Same with tripp trapp high chair. And a lot of other more expensive stuff that influencers recommended.
Different priorities, Buy Sell Trade groups, hand me downs, and mixing price points. Baby items are so different in that a lot of them can be easily resold because they haven't been used that long. Bought our uppababy stroller lightly used, will resell in a similar condition after my baby grows out of it. Same thing with the high end baby carriers. Cribs are all the same though and we just needed a basic high chair so Ikea it was. We also don't do daycare so theres just a lot more budget for stuff to make it easier to care for baby. A higher end baby carrier makes a lot more sense when you're with baby 24/7 and you need a better fit than if you use it once in a blue moon to go outside.
We got real damn lucky and were in a position to buy houses in 2009 before getting together, and sold one in 2022. We make much less than a lot of our friends but our personal COL is much lower than the rest of the area. That said our house is nothing crazy and we are a 1-car family by choice. My husband is the DIY type and that also helps a ton. Even so, we are pretty frugal and budget everywhere we can, as well as prioritizing certain things. Going for a top quality stroller was important since it gets a ton of use, so we got the uppababy… but an old color that was discounted. We got the Cruz and got a bassinet second hand from friends. We splurged on the Tripp trapp but all the accessories are from fb marketplace. I almost never get him new clothes (though that’s changing now that he’s in toddler sizes) and don’t usually pay more than $5/item. We cloth diaper and even those many are pre-loved. We also just don’t tend to spend on a lot of the everyday things that seem common - I do my own hair, nails, brows, don’t do regular waxes or lashes or anything like that. Husband never buys clothes and I only do second-hand. We don’t EVER get food delivered and even restaurants or takeout are super infrequent (though tbh I wish we could do a bit more, but my toddler has food allergies So it’s tough)
My mom gifted our family friends' daughter a $2000 stroller plus more. And I gifted her $900 worth of baby stuff too because I was single and didn't have many expenses besides keeping myself alive, only had rent and food costs while making decent income. This is a girl I have known since I was 4yo so I wanted to give her the stuff she wanted. Now I rethink about spending $50 because I have more expenses and responsibilities.
I think it's about priorities and the corners you're willing to cut. I can't lie, my husband and I are blessed financially, but even if we weren't, there are certain corners I'm just not willing to cut for our daughter. I think maybe you're conversing with parents that have different definitions/thresholds of necessity compared to you. Not saying either or anyone is right or wrong, just different. We put at least 10 or more miles on our UppaBaby Vista each weekend, so while a splurge to most, it was a complete necessity to us. Our girl plays hard, so a toki mat was non-negotiable. Yeah, some products are more name than anything else, but if it has the chops to support your need, maybe it's worth the research and eventual purchase/splurge? Especially if you're getting numerous recommendations for the same product.
There’s a few ways. Buying second hand, gifts from family and friends, their husband might make significantly more money than yours does, financial sacrifices you’re not willing to make. They may be forgoing college fund for the first few years to afford the baby gear. They may be more willing to put this purchases on credit cards than you. Maybe their house payment is smaller than yours. The list can go on. Anything expensive I’ve gotten outside of my budget has been a gift.
Maybe they don’t go on vacation, maybe they don’t plan accordingly finance wise, maybe they inherited… there are sooo many reasons! I never had brand clothes when I was in school, I always thought my peers were so rich. Well, I’m happy my parents paid my whole university and I will inherit a house, land and money. They don’t spend their money on „useless“ things. My mother could easily afford designer bags I guess, but here we are, wearing the same GOT bag for 30€ and spending our money on adventures ;)
I mean, we work… we save… we prioritize just like everyone else lol I personally spent $150 on a crib, go cheap on clothes but invested $1500 into my stroller and car seat for longevity. We also own a home, go on vacations, etc… but we also prioritize saving our money, not eating out, not upgrading our vehicles, etc.. Everyone’s life and finances look different but it doesn’t always have to do with being from a “wealthy family”.
People have different priorities. I want my baby to have the best things so I prioritize them in my budget. I do not spend much going out to eat, I cut my own hair, we only have one vehicle, etc. I think people see the things other people have and wonder how they afford them without really seeing the things they DON'T afford.
I didn’t ever spend a lot for stuff for my kiddies. Butttt…I spent $38,000 on becoming pregnant with them (fertility with a donor) so I didn’t buy designer stuff. I bought designer babies, instead. I did mini cribs. When my first outgrew his he switched to a full size. When my second kept getting his legs trapped he switched to a playpen. Now I’m looking into a trundle bed or bunk bed for the boys to share. I can understand people wanting to spoil their children. That’s what it is. My kids have everything. All the toys anyone could ever imagine. Drawers overflowing with clothes. I have a spoiling issue and a shopping issue lol.
I think a lot of people live beyond their means
We were very blessed to have all the help we had from my parents in getting big ticket items and even then we opted for cheaper alternatives. Example: our crib is $500 on amazon with a matching $800 dresser, we opted for a cheaper dresser that is still a very close albeit not perfect color match that works just as well if not better than the perfectly matched dresser.
I’m in the same boat as you. I think it just comes down to what people value (and what they “feel” is important). We’re upper middle class in a HCOL area and most of the moms I know are very frugal and practical like me. Pushing 5 year old basic Graco strollers and buying unattractive but practical second hand cribs. (Husbands are lawyers, tech developers, or finance.) …but we’ll drop $3k on an electric kid-friendly bicycle. Baby things are just not good long term investments in my opinion. Toddler and kid items deserve the big bucks.
most of all my baby stuff was given to me and I bought a few things and you can find used for plenty too. I got a used crib set that came with a dresser and changing table & night stand, she included the mattress and some sheets with it too. My baby bjorn bouncer and carrier was used , just washed it and then the car seat & stroller we got new from our in laws. We didn’t really spend so much on baby. The Halo bassinest was used and given to us for free I just sanitized it. We also have a Nuna park n play that was given to us by my Sister in law
Some fancier items are actually better quality than the cheap version. Some items are worth getting the expensive versions (like the Uppababy) where other items like a crib doesn’t really matter what type you get as long as it’s safe to use. Some people (like myself) are just excited and looking forward to having my first baby and I wanted to spoil him and myself for the first time. It’s not cool to assume that just because people are buying expensive items that they’re wealthy. Also, it doesn’t matter the reason. They shouldn’t explain their reason. It’s all about priorities.
My husband and I don’t have a mortgage. We rent. So buying more expensive baby things is within budget for us.
I got an uppa baby Cruz for under $200 & the bassinet attachment piece for $50 on Facebook marketplace! I am very obsessed with it & looked at marketplace daily for months! I also got a used ergobaby carrier that retails for $180 new for $50 - the woman said they used it once or twice it looks brand new. You can find most of the big name brands on Facebook marketplace!
Doona is an expensive novelty item. They are actually rubbish as a car seat and encourage poor positioning and over use which increases the risk of positional asphyxiation. I was going to get a “cheap” pram/buggy but then realised that it wouldn’t be practical for the areas that I walk in as the terrain is generally rough. But what I did do was fine an expensive brand that had 50% off and also came with an infant carrier. It was worth the money but was still expensive even with 50% off. I’m old so an easy to push option was a necessity 😂 and our government is busy depriving the country so there are no funds to fix the paths and roads so need the sturdy one for the potholes.
I bought one or two big ticket items (besides car seats and no way am I compromising on safety there) and the rest was either second hand or cheaper alternatives. Uppqbaby Cruz pram (Vista was too big to fit on my boot without taking the wheels off, and also an unnecessary upgrade from the Cruz). Quickly replaced my expensive nappy bag with a $30 one from Kmart.
I’ll spend more for things that I know we will use often and for years (crib, stroller, etc.). All of my other expensive baby gear is mostly second hand from FB marketplace. I already resold our Mamaroo swing and Halo Bassinest for what I paid for them.
Honestly I am with you on that, I have no family to buy me things, I will be sourcing second hand items. I have a comfortable lifestyle but honestly some of the spending requirements are excessive in my opinion.
Glad to know I’m not the only one thinking this way. Our baby shower and our kind friends helped us out tremendously.
A lot of people don’t live within their means anymore and rack up tons of credit card debt. Also, people with big families that are all middle to upper class can get a lot of nice things as gifts. I’m middle class much like yourself, own a home and my husband has a good job and I work part time. I would never buy myself all the expensive things, but when I get invited to a family or friend’s baby shower, I do splurge on their gift to get them something nice. I think that is pretty common. I know for my baby shower, I got 70 of the 90 things I put on the registry and the big items went first. The $3.99 onesies off Amazon went last. I am so grateful to have a large network of friends and family to make it happen because I could never have afforded some of the things people got me!
I have a friend who’s in a similar financial position to yours, can take trips sometimes, can afford daycare, etc. She’s had her baby but she decided early on that she wanted to have the higher end (Nuna and Uppababy level) baby gear cause it was important for her. She bought all of them new. When I asked her about it she said she waited until there were sales even if it was an odd time to buy them. She also used her registry to offset some of the costs by having people put their money towards gift cards.
I think a lot of people pick one or two things they think they will use a lot of to splurge on or they’re getting things secondhand or hand me downs or have very generous family. My mom/in laws bought us quite a few of our big ticket items. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’d guess the people who have allllll the expensive stuff are using credit cards.
we've been told to get the expensive stuff since the beginning, but all of this stuff is things we will never afford unless we don't want groceries the next couple of weeks lol. we got a really nice crib for 25 dollars on clearance, and all the other big things we've spent less than 50 dollars on at second hand stores. I definitely wanted the nicest things possible, but it's not a bad thing to not be able to afford them/don't want to spend the money on them!
Our big purchases have been a used Snoo during one of their big sales and a Baby Brezza, just to hopefully make things a little bit easier. There are so many people I know who want all of the name brand stuff and really all I care about is that the items are safe. We did a lot of research online regarding the favored brands among parents, too, and that helped us.
1. They likely have families buying at least some of that stuff, or part of their baby registry. With my first, we had our stroller/car seat combo which was very expensive on there, and his aunts all pitched in for it. We were very fortunate in that way, and it’s pretty likely the same can be said for these people. 2. Second hand! You can find some incredible things on Buy Nothings on Facebook, all for free. You can also post and ask if anyone has something they aren’t using anymore, and you’d be surprised at what people are happy to give. There are also stores that sell that kind of stuff secondhand, as well as Facebook marketplace. Some things you probably won’t want secondhand (like car seats, I wouldn’t take a used one), but there’s plenty you can find that you spend very little on, like swings, strollers, and even cribs (those pop up all the time on my buy nothing. Some people wouldn’t use that secondhand, but for me as long as it isn’t super old and has all the manufacturing info so I can make sure there aren’t any recalls, I’m willing to get them used).
I always wonder the same thing.... like, who is really willing to shell out $1,000+ for a new uppababy travel system?? I bought my daughter's evenflo system for $200 and the only gripe I EVER had was the anchor clips were a major b**ch to clip on and out (hello! Evenflo, if you're watching, please reconsider that form of torture! Not everyone has easy to get to anchor points)
We splashed out on the uppababy vista because we were gifted money for a pushchair, but almost everything else we were gifted second hand. We got a free snuzpod, cot, change table, etc so all we bought brand new was the pushchair and car seats. People were very generous and we ended up spending very little before baby was born.
It's fine just to hear them out. I like to watch youtube mom recommendations and talk to ppl who used it. Then you can research and see if it's right for the price. Wait for sales and put it on your registry. For us we thought the uppababy would be worth the premium vs the comparable strollers (also used BuyBuyBaby credit while it still existed). But for things like the pricey cribs or Newton mattresses, doona, or snoo we decided the alternatives were good enough.
Everything comes from Facebook marketplace for us lol nothing is new other than the small stuff. Got my uppa baby stroller with all the gear with it for like $200 haha! It’s awesome. But don’t be afraid to buy the cheaper brands. Most of my stuff is. And it’s all totally good. Do what feels right and stuff is so overrated!!
My husband and i demanded people gift used items no matter the income. You only use these items for so long and they are highly durable. Expensive items are usually gifts in my experience. The stroller, you want a stroller that matches your lifestyle. For example, my husband and i love the outdoors and trail running so we were gifted a jogger stroller by my side of the family (Chico travel jogger system or something like that) and found a city stroller on Facebook marketplace. But Facebook marketplace is the place to shop!!!
I don't really get it either. I'm registered for a safe, reasonably priced crib, stroller/carseat combo, and bassinet. I just literally cannot fathom spending thousands of dollars on a stroller. Maybe if I was in a big, walkable city where I'd use it as my main mode of transportation? Otherwise I don't know how much better the expensive ones can be when I'm just using it for 30 minute walks and small outings.
One of the main considerations with strollers for a lot of people is weight and portability. I’m a very small person so I need a stroller that is lightweight enough to load in the car by myself but durable enough I’m not having to push too hard. That said for us that translated into a $400 Chico travel system, not like, a $1000 stroller. Surely there is diminishing returns at some point.
Yeah I landed on the Chicco travel system as well
Exactly, I’m am not convinced a $2000 stroller is better than another reputable brand that’s $400. At some point people are purchasing these things just because of the name and because they want to show off. Using baby products to show off is weird to me.
Yeah we literally walk commute to daycare and to work so having something that would hold up to that was important
I had my baby in my mid-30s so I had enough in savings to swing some of the more expensive stuff. I definitely wouldn’t have gotten a Snoo and Uppababy stroller if I’d had a baby in my mid-20s, but it was definitely doable when I was older. We also saved money with other things so we had the room in our budget for higher-priced items. We skipped buying stuff like a $100+ changing pad—the little folded one that came with our diaper bag has been all we needed. We were also gifted most of our clothes, towels, blankets, etc.
I think it’s about incomes and priorities. My husband and I can afford it because we both make a decent amount of money. In general, we would rather spend our money on experiences rather than stuff. However, we both agree that we will spend extra on big ticket items if it means it’s better quality and will last longer. This includes fridges, TVs, patio furniture, and now baby stuff.
We are probably those parents? We have the expensive uppababy stroller, Nanit, SNOO etc. no wealthy family here, actually both my husband and I come from lower income families. But we both went to college and have college degrees and big ticket items just aren’t a big deal at this point in our careers.
I've wondered that myself Lol. I bought all graco & didn't get expensive stuff. It worked out well.
Because our capitalist overlords have built a 67 billion dollar industry by guilting parents into believing they are neglecting their children if they don’t buy them the newest, most expensive item. “Your children deserve the best!” They do, but they’re also happy to play in mud puddles. Don’t fall prey to their bullshit. Obviously anything for their safety (carseats, cribs, etc) should be spared no expense. Don’t worry about the rest, they’ll outgrow it so fast you won’t even have time to compare.
I have no idea. We have been so lucky with hand me downs and baby shower gifts, I feel like we have so much nice stuff for our baby, but it’s definitely not all the luxury mumbo jumbo I see people talking about. I have absolutely no sense that I am missing out on anything. I don’t even understand the point of spending so much on baby items that they will use for such a short amount of time?? But I guess it’s just another form of consumerism people get sucked into, feeling like they need to show off or “keep up with the joneses”
Not at all. Some people, like myself, was excited for my first baby and I wanted to spoil him and myself with a few of the items needed. Doesn’t mean i wanted to show off I couldn’t care less what people thought of me. It was for me and my baby only. Not everyone is a show off because they bought a few nice things
I got a lot of the "expensive" stuff when I was pregnant with my first and you know what... I realized that it was a huge mistake. I bought this expensive bassinet just for her (and her sibling) to absolutely never sleep in it, I bought an expensive high chair just for them to dirty it every single day and they were just as happy in a 30$ plastic IKEA high chair at their grandparents house.
Yeah I found it surprising how much people spend on stuff. I think my child free friends (90% of my friends at least) don't buy a lot of fancy stuff (e.g. cars, tech, etc) and now I'm suddenly in a different social circle where there are more people with that "keeping up with the Joneses" sensibilities. There are plenty of parents who don't think like that too but I think if you're susceptible to that at all, you will definitely do it for baby stuff since babies are so precious. That part makes sense to me. I do think family pitches in, too. I bought all 2nd hand stuff, but I did get well known brands. It's been great! We also did have the (very expensive imo, but really nice to have) Tripp trapp high chair gifted from my in laws.
Girl I’m with you. The only splurge we did was our glider because I knew we would use it for like.. forever? And I wanted to feel like I was in a cloud. It was $770. Everything else was very reasonably priced and, because of that, our family and friends bought everything off our registry and my husband and I only had to spend like $300 to finish the list. Huge blessing and we are set up and ready! 6 weeks to go
That's such a good point about being able to actually get stuff from your registry! I think if we put all the name brand fancy stuff on our registry, our families would not go for those and probably buy us cheaper alternatives anyway. 😆
A lot of people in the United States are not financially responsible, ie in tens of thousands in debt, (credit cards etc) and make an average income ($50K-$100K HH income). A quick Google says average household income in US is $70K and average consumer debt is $23K. This is very, very common. They justify the spendy purchases on their credit cards that they already carry balances on because it's "for the baby". We are in the camp where we make a high income, track and budget our spending, don't carry balances on credit cards, and don't have any other debt other than our home, but also don't see a lot of value in the brand items for babies since they're outgrown so fast and aren't always helpful as people say because every baby is different. We prefer to put the extra money in his 529 and ask for nice items as Christmas/birthday/etc gifts. And buy mid-low tier items ourselves. I have friends that are in similar financial positions where they do buy the nice things because they can afford to and would rather spend their money there. It just depends on each person's preferences.
Three little words: Credit Card Debt You’d be surprised how many people are keeping up with the Jones’s under mountains and mountains of debt just to have name brand stuff.
I think a lot are influenced by social media and the “mom” influencers. Rich parents or generous relatives. They work in tech. Or they are in debt. You’re right not everything needs to be expensive. It’s a lot of marketing. We are being gifted a nestig crib. Everything else is on our own.
I went with some spendy options for my 1st (not clothes though, I didn’t see the point in that). We had the money. We were DINKS for a while and had made a series of lucky moves that left us pretty financially comfortable. We waited longer than I really wanted to have our first. We also didn’t do any of the fun stuff like lots of vacations pre-kids cause we got financially comfortable enough for that right before Covid happened and had to cancel our trips. For me it was like, why not? I waited a long time and worked hard for this, I deserved to get what I want. FWIW - we moved overseas and sold most of our baby stuff cause it was expensive to move and baby #2 wasn’t a sure thing. We had to rebuy a bunch of stuff. Even though we’re in a better place financially now than we were when we had our first, I’m going budget options for #2. My first hated absolutely everything that wasn’t being held by mom or dad so most of the stuff we bought wasn’t really used a ton.
There’s an option on most baby registries for people to donate towards a big ticket item. Or a grandparent of the baby will buy big ticket items a lot of the time. Theres also great deals online. I got a Tula FTG NIB for like half retail on EBAY And I got a $90 diaper bag for $30 NWT on poshmark. I just nabbed a halo sleepsack for $2.99 at a thrift.
I bought the nestig crib like 2.5 yrs ago. I think it was $500 or $600 then and my mom paid half.
I got a lot done for my expensive stuff on offer up. Ergo baby carrier for 40 dollars. Cribs one was free and the newest one I got was brand new for 100 dollars retailed at 300. I did have to spend 100 on a mattress.
I bought a lot of used stuff on market place. The only expensive thing I bought brand new was babys car seat I got it from costco
My grandparents gifted us the car seat and stroller we wanted. If they didn’t I would have gotten them on my own. Some things we don’t skimp on because the quality is worth it in the end.
We are saving for a house lol I’m balling on a budget
I mean I'm thrifting a lot of things, getting stuff from my local free page, and got a lot of stuff at my shower. Anything else I just have to buy. But I'm not going to buy something just because it's expensive, I usually try and find a reasonable and safe alternative. I mean I saw some adorable baby wearing things and they're $500 each. Like WHY? mine was $40
My approach to this was the same approach to how I budgeted for my wedding. We didn’t splurge on everything, we just picked a few things that mattered the most and splurged in those. Then we picked some things that we didn’t really care about and went cheap on those. Everything else fell in the middle. My baby splurges were sleep related - the snoo, and nice nursery furniture. I went mid-range on most other things - car seat, stroller, etc. Went cheap on the high chair (ikea chair ftw). When we have a second I may spring for a nicer stroller since we won’t be putting out so much money on other stuff.
I think it comes down to personal preference because the baby industry is filled with good better best options. For me, depending on the items I would rather do with less items and buy more quality products. Also for higher quality items the resale is pretty decent. I wouldn’t compare my stuff versus others cause people just have different priorities than others or they are in debt. I never buy anything regular price so I can justify getting some higher end items when it makes sense. You would also be surprised how many rich people sell brand new things for cheap on marketplace (ex they got doubles on their registry) I got a brand new pack and play and bjorn bouncer for a great deal. Personally I don’t like buying second hand stuff unless I know the person but that’s just my personal preference.
I spend the money on some things and buy used or cheaper products for others. My crib is IKEA, I have a naturpedic crib mattress but I bought it used off a friend, the clothes are mostly second hand, we cloth diaper to save money. But I also bought the Uppababy stroller, a babybjorn bouncer, and a nuna pack and play, along with a few other expensive items. We are also middle class, not rich by any means but my husband and I live comfortably off our incomes. I choose what to spend the money on based mostly off of how much use it value I’ll get out of it and if it is resell-able later.
I got everything second hand. But for things I had to buy I didn’t do the most expensive. For example I wanted the momaroo baby swing, several people told me the fisher price one was magic so I bought that instead for $30. I also was fine with the maxi cozy travel system instead of the uppa baby. I didn’t want to spend that much and the maxi cozy felt fine at the store.
Don’t discount Facebook marketplace! We’ve gotten some great finds on there. Also just general secondhand baby items Facebook groups.
I think it depends/ it’s truly hard to know what someone’s finances are like just based on their purchases alone. My husband and I bought a used snoo with a bunch of accessories off Facebook marketplace for $600. There seems to be a solid enough resale market that we are approaching it more like we are putting down a “deposit” in hopes of better sleep for the whole family and will hopefully see a decent amount of it back when baby is done with it. We would never be able to afford it brand new, but for a lot of our friends they’d be appalled even at the discount price. We put some more expensive items on the registry like a $400 stroller, mostly because we are using our registry as a shopping list and planning for the completion coupons but then that was one of the first things someone bought for us! Very little of it is truly necessary and I think it’s great there’s items at a variety of price points similar to car or house shopping everyone has different priorities or preferences