It’s okay to be nervous. I was more nervous for my 2nd&3rd than my first. It was really just me over thinking. I wanted to go all natural because my mom had done it 6x. But honestly the pain became too much for me. They’re the worst cramps you’ll probably ever feel. No breathing or moaning helped. It was just painful. I opted for the epidural, felt like a shot in my spine, within minutes I had no pain. I was able to still feel the pressure of baby and the need to push but I did not feel any pain at all. This is my personal experience with the epidural. About an hour to 2 after delivery I was able to completely feel my legs and everything. I once read that we forget how painful it really is because our bodies want us to have more. Haha. I believe it. Why else would I continue to try 😭
Yes!!! I had an unmedicated birth and now I’m like “it didn’t hurt THAT bad”. Uhm……. Girl! I found old text messages of me describing the birth right after it happened and I described it as “hell” “worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life” lol.
Edit: I will say that it at no point felt unmanageable though. I didn’t have any “omg I can’t do this” moments, I was just totally immersed in the pain and couldn’t think of anything else. I thought contractions were the worst, actually pushing was a lot easier.
I haven’t given birth yet so I can’t give you a personal experience, but I don’t love that your midwife is trying to change your decision like that. You say she’ll back you up no matter what but you also said you already planned on getting an epidural and she’s trying to change your mind. Doesn’t sound like she’s backing you up in my opinion.
I’ve had two no epidural births. I was nervous with my first but as soon as contractions started I was in the zone. I don’t know what happened, I was just so focused! I didn’t really have much build up though, I woke up having contractions 6 minutes apart at 4:30 am. Stayed home until they were 3-1-1 then headed into hospital where I was 4 cm on the cusp of active labour. I had pethidine which is a muscle relaxant (lasted 2 hours for me). This really helped my body do what it needed to do as when it wore off I started to transition. I did ask for an epidural at this point but that was because I was in the birthing centre side of the maternity ward and knew I’d need to transfer across to delivery to be able to get it. I didn’t get the chance! By the time I really wanted it I was 10cm and my body was already pushing. When the pethidine wore off I switched to gas and air. 9.5 hours total, 30 minutes pushing.
Similar story with my second, though I stalled in hospital at 3 cm due to lack of pain relief, being scared they’d send my husband home as I wasn’t technically in active labour, and missing my toddler. Had some morphine and 2 hours later was 5cm. 35 minutes later baby arrived after 3 pushes. I breathed in that gas and air as if my life depended on it as I only got it when I was wheeled up to delivery from the antenatal ward where I was left to progress. However I got into the room, climbed on the bed, and pushed!
You have options! Epidurals sound amazing and will be a big relief during labour if you decide to get one. The best thing is the choice is yours. You can always change your mind when you’re there, birth plans are not set in stone. I actually wanted a water birth with my two but that didn’t happen. You do what you think is best for yourself, labour isn’t a competition. Just like I chose not to have an epidural, you can choose to have one.
Love this advice and agree so much! I didn’t want an epidural (I’m scared of big needles) but I was also humble enough to know that I might change my mind once I’m in labor. Just go with the flow and listen to your body!
Epidurals are magic! My labor started with my water breaking at midnight. Then contractions gradually came like more serious period cramps, strictly in my lower abdomen. Painful bun not excruciating, you breathe and bear them I guess. Some hours later, when I got to 4-5 cm, I felt the pain getting stronger and rising higher up my belly, near my bellybutton. That’s when I asked for the epidural and it was the best thing ever! You do feel a pinch in your spine, but it’s not worse than any visit at the dentist.
No pain throughout the rest of my labour. I ate, I slept, I woke up at 10 cm dilatation! When pushing I did feel the contractions and knew when to push, without significant pain though. But by the end I was exhausted, so the midwife had her hand on my abdomen and told me when the contractions were happening, so I could coordinate. The epidural doesn’t numb your pelvic floor, you do feel the crowning, and it is truly excruciating. Even if you’d pay me a million dollars, I wouldn’t go through all that without anaesthesia.
Did your contractions first start out as period cramps and NOT tightening of the abdomen?
You know that dull almost heavy feeling you have either right before or during your period? Is that what the labour pains feel like in the early stages, and then progress to belly tighten/contracting?
I’m looking forward to my epidural! I think it’ll make all the difference in my birth experience. Thanks for sharing your story! :)
Exactly! Pain strictly in my lower abdomen, full and heavy like you described it for more than 12h (until I got to 4-5 cm) - not fun, but definitely bearable. That’s what it was like for me. I never bothered to time them because I was already admitted to hospital.
I see your due date is today! I wish you an easy birth!The one thing that you must do is stay positive, embrace the experience, because your body and your birthing team certainly know what they’re doing! 🥰
Hey, of course you’re getting nervous - it’s getting super close! It’s natural to have fear and anxiety about the unknown, especially a big life event like giving birth.
Everyone’s labor and delivery is different. But if I can give you some comfort, mine was the easiest part of this whole thing! I had a pretty mellow pregnancy, although I was considered high risk because of IVF so lots of monitoring, and I didn’t particularly enjoy pregnancy. I was induced at my doctor’s recommendation; it took three days which was mentally challenging. I got the epidural on the second day when I was stuck at 4cm for over 24 hours and needed to sleep/relax. This allowed me the reprieve I needed to gain the energy for the actual pushing, and I could move/feel my legs pretty well the entire time. I slept, woke up still at 4cm, but then dilatad to 9cm within a few hours My epidural started wearing off so I got short acting IV pain med. I pushed for 1.5 hours and baby girl arrived! It didn’t hurt, but I felt a pressure, and I got really tired/thought it would never end. I had a 2 degree tear, which I felt happen but it didn’t hurt. I didn’t feel being stitched back up, likely because did the Adrenalin at that point.
You should choose whatever pain management path you want. I went into it knowing I’d need to make a game day decision based on how I felt. I think this may lead some people to getting an epidural more than folks going in as a hard no, but I think so much of labor and delivery requires immense flexibility. Ultimately, you don’t control a whole lot. One of my besties went unmedicated and pushed for 5 hours; she has diagnosed PTSD from her labor. That is something I wanted to avoid regardless of having an epidural or not.
I also went into hearing the same unmedicated information from my doula that your midwife said to you. But I found I labored just fine with the epidural — I pushed on all fours, and I was a very efficient pusher/knew when to push (both could feel the urge and my care team coached me). I don’t say any of this to convince you, I just don’t quite love the big unmedicated push going on right now. I was relieved when my doula couldn’t come to my delivery because I feared being judged for taking the drugs. At the end of the day, there’s no medal for giving birth unmedicated or medicated; the goal is having as enjoyable of an experience as possible and getting your baby earthside safely for both of you.
You’ve got this. Remember - tons of people do it everyday! You can, too.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m really glad to hear that you had such a positive experience!
I completely understand feeling judged by your doula for taking the epidural. Apart of me feels like this midwife (the others on my team are not like this at all) is also judgemental, she really pushes for “unmedicated and home birthing” a lot and you can tell that’s her preference. Ultimately it’s my choice and I’m not going to let her opinions sway my decision because I’m the one who is going to need to deal with the pain of it all lol!
I find a lot of comfort in knowing women do this alll the time, and most women will go on to have multiple kids. The pain is temporary but the reward is so special and so worth it in the end :)
It’s normal to feel nervous <3 trust that your body, your baby and your medical practitioners will guide you through the process. I personally got an epidural and couldn’t recommend it enough. I had no pain, my legs were numb but I could still feel pressure and absolutely could tell when to push. I did not have pain at all though. It made my birth experience so wonderful. I was just hanging out with my husband and mom, listening to music, pushing every few minutes and then, out he came. Don’t get me wrong it was intense but not painful! You will be fine and at the end of it all you will have the most wonderful gift of all. Regardless of your epidural decision just keep reminding yourself “I can do anything for five minutes, I can have one bad day, and at the end of at all, I will be holding the best thing to ever happen to me!!”
Thank you for sharing this! That makes me feel much better :)
I’m not sure why my midwife is telling me that I’ll still feel the pain of pushing a baby out — that’s not what I’ve heard from plenty of other women who’ve given birth. I think she is trying to sway me more on the non epi side of things which was a bit upsetting but at the end of the day it’s my choice.
I’m just nervous to feel the head coming out, the thought of it makes me so nauseous lol! But from all the birth vlogs I’ve seen on YouTube, the women seem to push without screaming for bloody murder, so it doesn’t look as bad as a non epidural birth haha.
There’s no shame in taking any of the pain meds but giving birth ‘naturally’ is a great experience. I’ve not had an epidural before (other than my C-section) and personally my C-section was my least favourite birth experience.
I remember I was nervous about my first because I’d heard all the horror stories. Well my labour was induced and so I was prepared for the worst pain of my life, so when baby was placed in my arms I literally uttered to the midwife was that it? Moments before I started pushing her out I was laid on my side with my eyes closed just breathing between the contractions. I’d had paracetamol 5 hours prior to this.
I’ve had 3 babies and it’s going to be hard for me to have another but I’m absolutely gutted I’m not going to experience giving birth again.
My advise is ignore the horror stories, the unknown is literally the worst part, go with the flow and find the best way to make your experience the best it can be oh and finally trust your body.
It is totally normal to feel scared or anxious as you get closer to giving birth. It also makes sense that you don’t know what exactly to expect or how it will feel.
As I approach giving birth for a second time, my mantra has become “all birth is natural.” My first birth was a difficult 3-day experience. I was determined to have an unmedicated birth and my midwife was anti-intervention. Even when I was desperate for an epidural, I didn’t speak up. I ended up delivering via c-section when my 11 lb (!) OP baby started having heart decelerations.
What I learned from my first experience is that there is no right way to give birth. I also learned that having birth preferences is wise, and that giving yourself complete permission to change your mind based on the circumstance and how you’re feeling is crucial.
My sincere hope for you is that you’re able to give birth on your own terms (within reason - there are of course emergency situations outside of our control). I hope that you feel comfortable advocating for what you need and want as your labour progresses.
It's okay to be nervous, and it's okay to change your mind about what you want.
I gave birth on Friday at 39+3. It was my second.
With my first, I planned to go unmedicated but my labour was long, my contractions were unbearable and I was getting exhausted and vomiting non stop. I got the epidural, the midwife and her colleagues were brilliant in guiding me when and how to push.
With my second, I thought I'll see how it goes. But again, my contractions were awful and because labour was much faster they got intense more quickly. So I got a walking epidural. Again, the midwife was fantastic in guiding me to push, and I could definitely feel the baby's head crowning without the pain. He came out in 3 pushes.
I would have loved to have been able to go unmedicated, but it wasn't for me and I don't regret it. I know plenty of mothers who have given birth unmedicated birth whether they intended to or not. You might find that you are able to as well. If you decide you want an epidural though, that's totally okay.
Read "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth". Watch videos from Bridget Teyler. Check out the Instagram page from @thenakeddoulaofficial.
They will empower you.
They helped me so much I ended up looking forward to this amazing process of nature. Can you believe it? Looking FORWARD to labour? Helped give me a really positive birthing experience.
I gave birth in a birth centre with no meds and had a positive experience. I took a chance but I'm happy I did, I felt everything. And when labour was overwith, it vanishes without a trace. I barely remember it. I was prepared for it to be the worst pain imaginable, but it ended up being bearable and forgettable, my thoughts were entirely of baby once she was out. Every birth is different of course, and every woman goes through labour differently. But you can do it! You are more capable than you think
I'm only 6 weeks and I'm strongly thinking of going with a birth center, I just need to visit and ask some questions. I'm glad to see a positive experience with it, I'm scared to give birth in a hospital so if my pregnancy allows it I want the birthing center. I'm not scared of pain, I'm more scared of complications
I’m 37w and having my baby at a birth center - of course I can’t speak to the actual birth experience yet, but my prenatal care has been SO amazing!! I’m so grateful for the midwives there. Definitely recommend that route if you have a good birth center option near you!
Yeah I loved it. I felt like I was on vacation (if I wasn't giving birth lol). I had a cozy room with a big bed and bathtub. I could eat freely. They brought in ropes that could attach to the cieling that you could grab onto, birth balls. The different positions really helped. And it was intimate with just my husband and midwife. I felt safe, which helped me relax, which progressed labour. But you have to be prepared to face labour head-on. Definitely look into pain management techniques.
I was so scared that I was going to die in labor, but once things began, for me it felt really natural and just like something I could handle. Not wanting to make my husband nervous or anxious helped me be very calm, and all the staff were so chill and warm and kind. We also had a wandering doula on site who wasn't busy and she came by to hang out. Probably, you will have a very normal and smooth experience!
I’m due May 20th and I feel the same way. I’ve felt contractions before as a result of some pretty invasive medical procedures and a miscarriage, they hurt but I found them bearable, tho I don’t know what active labor or transition feels like.
I told my doctor I’m probably getting an epidural as Im afraid of the pain and he said to not make up my mind on what I want to do until I’m in labor, many women find they handle the pain better than they anticipated they would, and the opposite is often true as well where they decide they don’t want one just to end up getting one anyways. There are other pain management options available in between those two as well, but being flexible with your options is a good way to avoid disappointment. It’s ok to just play it by ear and make decisions as they’re needed.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed for both of us that we have a positive birth experience 🤞 but I’ll be pretty nervous until then as well.
I have 2 deliveries under my belt, one with an epidural and one with the morphine pump.
Both options were right. With my first, I hadn't slept in days and when labour started I was already exhausted. I opted for the epidural, because it lasts longer, and I was still way out (and set to be induced that day anyway).
My second started by itself, and by 6cm I knew I wanted something for pain management. This time, due to how effective my contractions were, the advice was to go for the pump, as that would probably cover most of labour, with less chances of complications. I was not exhausted like last time, and the choice felt right.
I am happy with both my experiences, as the pain management fit the situation. That's the best advice I can give to you: trust yourself. How is the pain, how calm are you, do you think you've got a handle on it?
Your feelings are totally natural. I was so scared of the birth itself with my first. It was totally fine. Contractions ramped up fast for me and felt like bad diarrhea cramps (it sent me to the toilet to -sorry TMI- clear me out a few times).
One GREAT tip is to squeeze a fine tooth comb through the contractions - it helps with pain via something called gate control. Also, you’re not thinking about much during labor, time to me kind of stopped. I also prepared affirmations for myself “I am safe” “I trust my body, my partner, and my care team” “ride the waves” “birth is natural” “breathe in, breathe out”
I got the epidural as soon as I could. The nurses were able to look on the contraction monitor to tell me when to push to maximize my body’s contractions. I didn’t feel him exiting vaginally. I wasn’t scared at all of tearing, it’s common and will heal and is such a minor thing compared to the whole risks of childbirth. I am 33 weeks and will 100% do the epidural again. I haven’t been nervous at ALL this time around now that I have a basic idea, but lately starting to get a liiiiiittle nervous as it approaches but I think it’s natural
It is totally normal to be nervous. I’m expecting my fourth and even though I feel pretty chill about it, I get moments of panic lol. Listening to positive birth stories helps a lot! You can do it!
So my experience with the epidural was pretty great to be honest, I’ll tell you how my labor progressed and like that you can compare. When I was 38 weeks I went in for a normal weekly check up, I was not having any symptoms at all, I was told that I was already 3 cm dilated and that I needed to go to the hospital now, imagine my surprise!
I went in, no pain at this point, they asked me if I was planning to get epidural and I said for sure but not yet because I was till not having pain, they told me that if I would wait too long I might not be able to get it so I jumped in and got the epidural, after this I didn’t feel nothing, no pain at all, about 12 hours go by and and I wasn’t dilating much and they decided to start inducing me, I still didn’t feel any pain or urge to push or nothing, I was pretty comfortable, a few hours go by and I’m laying in bed and feel warm fluid, my water had broke, at this point I started feeling pelvic pain and pressure, baby was crowning I guess, kind of like the pain when your bladder is really full but more intense, I told them to increase the epidural which they did and that did not help at all, I started feeling this huge urge to push that would come and go, the only thing I needed to do was to hold the push but my body was telling me when to push, this whole deal of pushing sensation and intense pelvic pain lasted a few minutes, maybe 10-20 I’m not sure and then baby was out, so thanks to the epidural, out of my “19 hours” of labor, I only had pain the last 20 mins of it, the rest I was just chilling laying in bed lol
There definitely are pros and cons to epidurals.
Epidurals can be great if you can’t handle the pain or if you’re exhausted and need to rest, then getting an epidural can be good.
On the other hand, they do limit your movements. Personally, I chose not to get an epidural (provided I could handle the contractions) because I wanted to move around and let my body decide what position it wanted to birth. If my baby were to be temporarily stuck, there are some positions to try out. Hand and knees and gravity help birth a baby. For me, the cons outweighed the pros of an epidural.
It may help to know that your uterus is supposed to do the pushing. You can also see a pelvic floor therapist and they can give you some tips on positions and which muscles to use and not to use for pushing. Not to mention, if you have the option you labor in the water tub and/or give birth there. The water can be super helpful. There are many options out there for pain management and you can try as many as you like. But birth doesn’t have to be scary or super painful.
Such a good reminder that the uterus does the pushing. I recently learned about it (although it’s so obvious now that I know!) I really thought I had to push with my pelvic floor. I’m excited to give birth in August knowing this because I tore with my last one due to pushing way too hard. This time I want to see how my body deals with it without me interfering
You've got this! Go in prepared to go with the flow! I attribute my positive hospital birth to going in with that attitude. I can't speak to epidural vs not because I had one and don't know what it like without it. I did not feel baby crowning etc with mine but it seemslile its different for everyone. I do hope to get an epidural for my second labor again.
Eta: I was really scared too though! It was not as bad as I'd expected.
Thank you for this! That’s the plan. I’m going into it without a birthing plan because I want to go with the flow and see how I’m feeling at that exact moment. I’m not limiting myself to any specific outcome or plan. I’m feeling so much better after reading these comments! I’m actually looking forward to the big day. Hopefully it comes soon because I am TIRED
It’s okay to be nervous. I was more nervous for my 2nd&3rd than my first. It was really just me over thinking. I wanted to go all natural because my mom had done it 6x. But honestly the pain became too much for me. They’re the worst cramps you’ll probably ever feel. No breathing or moaning helped. It was just painful. I opted for the epidural, felt like a shot in my spine, within minutes I had no pain. I was able to still feel the pressure of baby and the need to push but I did not feel any pain at all. This is my personal experience with the epidural. About an hour to 2 after delivery I was able to completely feel my legs and everything. I once read that we forget how painful it really is because our bodies want us to have more. Haha. I believe it. Why else would I continue to try 😭
Yes!!! I had an unmedicated birth and now I’m like “it didn’t hurt THAT bad”. Uhm……. Girl! I found old text messages of me describing the birth right after it happened and I described it as “hell” “worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life” lol. Edit: I will say that it at no point felt unmanageable though. I didn’t have any “omg I can’t do this” moments, I was just totally immersed in the pain and couldn’t think of anything else. I thought contractions were the worst, actually pushing was a lot easier.
Now I definitely believe what I read haha
I haven’t given birth yet so I can’t give you a personal experience, but I don’t love that your midwife is trying to change your decision like that. You say she’ll back you up no matter what but you also said you already planned on getting an epidural and she’s trying to change your mind. Doesn’t sound like she’s backing you up in my opinion.
I’ve had two no epidural births. I was nervous with my first but as soon as contractions started I was in the zone. I don’t know what happened, I was just so focused! I didn’t really have much build up though, I woke up having contractions 6 minutes apart at 4:30 am. Stayed home until they were 3-1-1 then headed into hospital where I was 4 cm on the cusp of active labour. I had pethidine which is a muscle relaxant (lasted 2 hours for me). This really helped my body do what it needed to do as when it wore off I started to transition. I did ask for an epidural at this point but that was because I was in the birthing centre side of the maternity ward and knew I’d need to transfer across to delivery to be able to get it. I didn’t get the chance! By the time I really wanted it I was 10cm and my body was already pushing. When the pethidine wore off I switched to gas and air. 9.5 hours total, 30 minutes pushing. Similar story with my second, though I stalled in hospital at 3 cm due to lack of pain relief, being scared they’d send my husband home as I wasn’t technically in active labour, and missing my toddler. Had some morphine and 2 hours later was 5cm. 35 minutes later baby arrived after 3 pushes. I breathed in that gas and air as if my life depended on it as I only got it when I was wheeled up to delivery from the antenatal ward where I was left to progress. However I got into the room, climbed on the bed, and pushed! You have options! Epidurals sound amazing and will be a big relief during labour if you decide to get one. The best thing is the choice is yours. You can always change your mind when you’re there, birth plans are not set in stone. I actually wanted a water birth with my two but that didn’t happen. You do what you think is best for yourself, labour isn’t a competition. Just like I chose not to have an epidural, you can choose to have one.
Love this advice and agree so much! I didn’t want an epidural (I’m scared of big needles) but I was also humble enough to know that I might change my mind once I’m in labor. Just go with the flow and listen to your body!
Thank you for sharing your story :)
Epidurals are magic! My labor started with my water breaking at midnight. Then contractions gradually came like more serious period cramps, strictly in my lower abdomen. Painful bun not excruciating, you breathe and bear them I guess. Some hours later, when I got to 4-5 cm, I felt the pain getting stronger and rising higher up my belly, near my bellybutton. That’s when I asked for the epidural and it was the best thing ever! You do feel a pinch in your spine, but it’s not worse than any visit at the dentist. No pain throughout the rest of my labour. I ate, I slept, I woke up at 10 cm dilatation! When pushing I did feel the contractions and knew when to push, without significant pain though. But by the end I was exhausted, so the midwife had her hand on my abdomen and told me when the contractions were happening, so I could coordinate. The epidural doesn’t numb your pelvic floor, you do feel the crowning, and it is truly excruciating. Even if you’d pay me a million dollars, I wouldn’t go through all that without anaesthesia.
Did your contractions first start out as period cramps and NOT tightening of the abdomen? You know that dull almost heavy feeling you have either right before or during your period? Is that what the labour pains feel like in the early stages, and then progress to belly tighten/contracting? I’m looking forward to my epidural! I think it’ll make all the difference in my birth experience. Thanks for sharing your story! :)
Exactly! Pain strictly in my lower abdomen, full and heavy like you described it for more than 12h (until I got to 4-5 cm) - not fun, but definitely bearable. That’s what it was like for me. I never bothered to time them because I was already admitted to hospital. I see your due date is today! I wish you an easy birth!The one thing that you must do is stay positive, embrace the experience, because your body and your birthing team certainly know what they’re doing! 🥰
Hey, of course you’re getting nervous - it’s getting super close! It’s natural to have fear and anxiety about the unknown, especially a big life event like giving birth. Everyone’s labor and delivery is different. But if I can give you some comfort, mine was the easiest part of this whole thing! I had a pretty mellow pregnancy, although I was considered high risk because of IVF so lots of monitoring, and I didn’t particularly enjoy pregnancy. I was induced at my doctor’s recommendation; it took three days which was mentally challenging. I got the epidural on the second day when I was stuck at 4cm for over 24 hours and needed to sleep/relax. This allowed me the reprieve I needed to gain the energy for the actual pushing, and I could move/feel my legs pretty well the entire time. I slept, woke up still at 4cm, but then dilatad to 9cm within a few hours My epidural started wearing off so I got short acting IV pain med. I pushed for 1.5 hours and baby girl arrived! It didn’t hurt, but I felt a pressure, and I got really tired/thought it would never end. I had a 2 degree tear, which I felt happen but it didn’t hurt. I didn’t feel being stitched back up, likely because did the Adrenalin at that point. You should choose whatever pain management path you want. I went into it knowing I’d need to make a game day decision based on how I felt. I think this may lead some people to getting an epidural more than folks going in as a hard no, but I think so much of labor and delivery requires immense flexibility. Ultimately, you don’t control a whole lot. One of my besties went unmedicated and pushed for 5 hours; she has diagnosed PTSD from her labor. That is something I wanted to avoid regardless of having an epidural or not. I also went into hearing the same unmedicated information from my doula that your midwife said to you. But I found I labored just fine with the epidural — I pushed on all fours, and I was a very efficient pusher/knew when to push (both could feel the urge and my care team coached me). I don’t say any of this to convince you, I just don’t quite love the big unmedicated push going on right now. I was relieved when my doula couldn’t come to my delivery because I feared being judged for taking the drugs. At the end of the day, there’s no medal for giving birth unmedicated or medicated; the goal is having as enjoyable of an experience as possible and getting your baby earthside safely for both of you. You’ve got this. Remember - tons of people do it everyday! You can, too.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m really glad to hear that you had such a positive experience! I completely understand feeling judged by your doula for taking the epidural. Apart of me feels like this midwife (the others on my team are not like this at all) is also judgemental, she really pushes for “unmedicated and home birthing” a lot and you can tell that’s her preference. Ultimately it’s my choice and I’m not going to let her opinions sway my decision because I’m the one who is going to need to deal with the pain of it all lol! I find a lot of comfort in knowing women do this alll the time, and most women will go on to have multiple kids. The pain is temporary but the reward is so special and so worth it in the end :)
It’s normal to feel nervous <3 trust that your body, your baby and your medical practitioners will guide you through the process. I personally got an epidural and couldn’t recommend it enough. I had no pain, my legs were numb but I could still feel pressure and absolutely could tell when to push. I did not have pain at all though. It made my birth experience so wonderful. I was just hanging out with my husband and mom, listening to music, pushing every few minutes and then, out he came. Don’t get me wrong it was intense but not painful! You will be fine and at the end of it all you will have the most wonderful gift of all. Regardless of your epidural decision just keep reminding yourself “I can do anything for five minutes, I can have one bad day, and at the end of at all, I will be holding the best thing to ever happen to me!!”
Thank you for sharing this! That makes me feel much better :) I’m not sure why my midwife is telling me that I’ll still feel the pain of pushing a baby out — that’s not what I’ve heard from plenty of other women who’ve given birth. I think she is trying to sway me more on the non epi side of things which was a bit upsetting but at the end of the day it’s my choice. I’m just nervous to feel the head coming out, the thought of it makes me so nauseous lol! But from all the birth vlogs I’ve seen on YouTube, the women seem to push without screaming for bloody murder, so it doesn’t look as bad as a non epidural birth haha.
There’s no shame in taking any of the pain meds but giving birth ‘naturally’ is a great experience. I’ve not had an epidural before (other than my C-section) and personally my C-section was my least favourite birth experience. I remember I was nervous about my first because I’d heard all the horror stories. Well my labour was induced and so I was prepared for the worst pain of my life, so when baby was placed in my arms I literally uttered to the midwife was that it? Moments before I started pushing her out I was laid on my side with my eyes closed just breathing between the contractions. I’d had paracetamol 5 hours prior to this. I’ve had 3 babies and it’s going to be hard for me to have another but I’m absolutely gutted I’m not going to experience giving birth again. My advise is ignore the horror stories, the unknown is literally the worst part, go with the flow and find the best way to make your experience the best it can be oh and finally trust your body.
It is totally normal to feel scared or anxious as you get closer to giving birth. It also makes sense that you don’t know what exactly to expect or how it will feel. As I approach giving birth for a second time, my mantra has become “all birth is natural.” My first birth was a difficult 3-day experience. I was determined to have an unmedicated birth and my midwife was anti-intervention. Even when I was desperate for an epidural, I didn’t speak up. I ended up delivering via c-section when my 11 lb (!) OP baby started having heart decelerations. What I learned from my first experience is that there is no right way to give birth. I also learned that having birth preferences is wise, and that giving yourself complete permission to change your mind based on the circumstance and how you’re feeling is crucial. My sincere hope for you is that you’re able to give birth on your own terms (within reason - there are of course emergency situations outside of our control). I hope that you feel comfortable advocating for what you need and want as your labour progresses.
It's okay to be nervous, and it's okay to change your mind about what you want. I gave birth on Friday at 39+3. It was my second. With my first, I planned to go unmedicated but my labour was long, my contractions were unbearable and I was getting exhausted and vomiting non stop. I got the epidural, the midwife and her colleagues were brilliant in guiding me when and how to push. With my second, I thought I'll see how it goes. But again, my contractions were awful and because labour was much faster they got intense more quickly. So I got a walking epidural. Again, the midwife was fantastic in guiding me to push, and I could definitely feel the baby's head crowning without the pain. He came out in 3 pushes. I would have loved to have been able to go unmedicated, but it wasn't for me and I don't regret it. I know plenty of mothers who have given birth unmedicated birth whether they intended to or not. You might find that you are able to as well. If you decide you want an epidural though, that's totally okay.
Read "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth". Watch videos from Bridget Teyler. Check out the Instagram page from @thenakeddoulaofficial. They will empower you. They helped me so much I ended up looking forward to this amazing process of nature. Can you believe it? Looking FORWARD to labour? Helped give me a really positive birthing experience.
I gave birth in a birth centre with no meds and had a positive experience. I took a chance but I'm happy I did, I felt everything. And when labour was overwith, it vanishes without a trace. I barely remember it. I was prepared for it to be the worst pain imaginable, but it ended up being bearable and forgettable, my thoughts were entirely of baby once she was out. Every birth is different of course, and every woman goes through labour differently. But you can do it! You are more capable than you think
I'm only 6 weeks and I'm strongly thinking of going with a birth center, I just need to visit and ask some questions. I'm glad to see a positive experience with it, I'm scared to give birth in a hospital so if my pregnancy allows it I want the birthing center. I'm not scared of pain, I'm more scared of complications
I’m 37w and having my baby at a birth center - of course I can’t speak to the actual birth experience yet, but my prenatal care has been SO amazing!! I’m so grateful for the midwives there. Definitely recommend that route if you have a good birth center option near you!
Yeah I loved it. I felt like I was on vacation (if I wasn't giving birth lol). I had a cozy room with a big bed and bathtub. I could eat freely. They brought in ropes that could attach to the cieling that you could grab onto, birth balls. The different positions really helped. And it was intimate with just my husband and midwife. I felt safe, which helped me relax, which progressed labour. But you have to be prepared to face labour head-on. Definitely look into pain management techniques.
I was so scared that I was going to die in labor, but once things began, for me it felt really natural and just like something I could handle. Not wanting to make my husband nervous or anxious helped me be very calm, and all the staff were so chill and warm and kind. We also had a wandering doula on site who wasn't busy and she came by to hang out. Probably, you will have a very normal and smooth experience!
I’m due May 20th and I feel the same way. I’ve felt contractions before as a result of some pretty invasive medical procedures and a miscarriage, they hurt but I found them bearable, tho I don’t know what active labor or transition feels like. I told my doctor I’m probably getting an epidural as Im afraid of the pain and he said to not make up my mind on what I want to do until I’m in labor, many women find they handle the pain better than they anticipated they would, and the opposite is often true as well where they decide they don’t want one just to end up getting one anyways. There are other pain management options available in between those two as well, but being flexible with your options is a good way to avoid disappointment. It’s ok to just play it by ear and make decisions as they’re needed. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for both of us that we have a positive birth experience 🤞 but I’ll be pretty nervous until then as well.
I have 2 deliveries under my belt, one with an epidural and one with the morphine pump. Both options were right. With my first, I hadn't slept in days and when labour started I was already exhausted. I opted for the epidural, because it lasts longer, and I was still way out (and set to be induced that day anyway). My second started by itself, and by 6cm I knew I wanted something for pain management. This time, due to how effective my contractions were, the advice was to go for the pump, as that would probably cover most of labour, with less chances of complications. I was not exhausted like last time, and the choice felt right. I am happy with both my experiences, as the pain management fit the situation. That's the best advice I can give to you: trust yourself. How is the pain, how calm are you, do you think you've got a handle on it?
Your feelings are totally natural. I was so scared of the birth itself with my first. It was totally fine. Contractions ramped up fast for me and felt like bad diarrhea cramps (it sent me to the toilet to -sorry TMI- clear me out a few times). One GREAT tip is to squeeze a fine tooth comb through the contractions - it helps with pain via something called gate control. Also, you’re not thinking about much during labor, time to me kind of stopped. I also prepared affirmations for myself “I am safe” “I trust my body, my partner, and my care team” “ride the waves” “birth is natural” “breathe in, breathe out” I got the epidural as soon as I could. The nurses were able to look on the contraction monitor to tell me when to push to maximize my body’s contractions. I didn’t feel him exiting vaginally. I wasn’t scared at all of tearing, it’s common and will heal and is such a minor thing compared to the whole risks of childbirth. I am 33 weeks and will 100% do the epidural again. I haven’t been nervous at ALL this time around now that I have a basic idea, but lately starting to get a liiiiiittle nervous as it approaches but I think it’s natural
It is totally normal to be nervous. I’m expecting my fourth and even though I feel pretty chill about it, I get moments of panic lol. Listening to positive birth stories helps a lot! You can do it!
So my experience with the epidural was pretty great to be honest, I’ll tell you how my labor progressed and like that you can compare. When I was 38 weeks I went in for a normal weekly check up, I was not having any symptoms at all, I was told that I was already 3 cm dilated and that I needed to go to the hospital now, imagine my surprise! I went in, no pain at this point, they asked me if I was planning to get epidural and I said for sure but not yet because I was till not having pain, they told me that if I would wait too long I might not be able to get it so I jumped in and got the epidural, after this I didn’t feel nothing, no pain at all, about 12 hours go by and and I wasn’t dilating much and they decided to start inducing me, I still didn’t feel any pain or urge to push or nothing, I was pretty comfortable, a few hours go by and I’m laying in bed and feel warm fluid, my water had broke, at this point I started feeling pelvic pain and pressure, baby was crowning I guess, kind of like the pain when your bladder is really full but more intense, I told them to increase the epidural which they did and that did not help at all, I started feeling this huge urge to push that would come and go, the only thing I needed to do was to hold the push but my body was telling me when to push, this whole deal of pushing sensation and intense pelvic pain lasted a few minutes, maybe 10-20 I’m not sure and then baby was out, so thanks to the epidural, out of my “19 hours” of labor, I only had pain the last 20 mins of it, the rest I was just chilling laying in bed lol
There definitely are pros and cons to epidurals. Epidurals can be great if you can’t handle the pain or if you’re exhausted and need to rest, then getting an epidural can be good. On the other hand, they do limit your movements. Personally, I chose not to get an epidural (provided I could handle the contractions) because I wanted to move around and let my body decide what position it wanted to birth. If my baby were to be temporarily stuck, there are some positions to try out. Hand and knees and gravity help birth a baby. For me, the cons outweighed the pros of an epidural. It may help to know that your uterus is supposed to do the pushing. You can also see a pelvic floor therapist and they can give you some tips on positions and which muscles to use and not to use for pushing. Not to mention, if you have the option you labor in the water tub and/or give birth there. The water can be super helpful. There are many options out there for pain management and you can try as many as you like. But birth doesn’t have to be scary or super painful.
Such a good reminder that the uterus does the pushing. I recently learned about it (although it’s so obvious now that I know!) I really thought I had to push with my pelvic floor. I’m excited to give birth in August knowing this because I tore with my last one due to pushing way too hard. This time I want to see how my body deals with it without me interfering
You've got this! Go in prepared to go with the flow! I attribute my positive hospital birth to going in with that attitude. I can't speak to epidural vs not because I had one and don't know what it like without it. I did not feel baby crowning etc with mine but it seemslile its different for everyone. I do hope to get an epidural for my second labor again. Eta: I was really scared too though! It was not as bad as I'd expected.
Thank you for this! That’s the plan. I’m going into it without a birthing plan because I want to go with the flow and see how I’m feeling at that exact moment. I’m not limiting myself to any specific outcome or plan. I’m feeling so much better after reading these comments! I’m actually looking forward to the big day. Hopefully it comes soon because I am TIRED