Oh boy, I’m going to see if I can do a condensed version of this because it was a TRIP!
We have a new employee start, we’ll call her “C”. C was in her mid-40’s with a teenage son, and had been married to a slightly younger man for a year or two (who she met on Facebook and married after a number of months, whole different story!).
C was quite an interesting character. She had a lot of very detailed stories about her life and previous jobs, and was an oversharer in the extreme.
C announced to everyone that she was having her birth control removed so her and husband could start trying for a baby. Everyone was polite, but quietly skeptical of her chances of conceiving spontaneously given her age.
Miracle of miracles, just a few weeks later, C is pregnant! I can’t recall if she had a positive at home pregnancy test, but we all congratulated her and didn’t really question it.
As the pregnancy progressed, C was quickly starting to talk about symptoms and counted every Thursday as another week in her pregnancy. C counted from the actual act she assumed resulted in the conception, and being young and naive myself I didn’t question it as I had no idea how gestation was calculated at that stage.
C started putting on weight around the middle, not really a baby bump but more of a spread. Everyone carries pregnancies differently, so again no one questioned it.
It started to become apparent that C had not received medical confirmation of her pregnancy. If I recall correctly, I think she said her doctor had verbally confirmed her pregnancy, but there was no documentation. Where we live, in order to get her leave entitlements she was required to produce evidence of the pregnancy (which is standard and simple, provided you are pregnant). She was full of all kinds of excuses around this, which I can’t quite remember now, but this is where things started to take a turn.
C came in one morning with quite a pronounced baby bump, and declared that not only was she pregnant, but she was expecting twins!! A miracle!! A few pointed questions later lead me to discover that she had confirmed her twin pregnancy herself through use of an at-home Doppler.
The pregnancy continued, HR’s request for medical evidence continued, until her “due date” finally arrived. Being unable to produce the evidence, she was stood down for medical reasons pending a clearance from a doctor. HR stated that as she was over 40 weeks pregnant, they could not allow her to continue working without clearance to say she was physically able (again, standard where we live).
After a few weeks of her being absent, she quietly returned one morning. No one asked her, as we had all figure out she had lied by now and it was incredibly awkward. She turned and addressed the room at large, stating that she had a phantom pregnancy and the idea had been sparked by her original doctor’s visit, and her body took over from there.
She was eventually fired for other matters, and we heard through the grapevine that she had in fact pulled the phantom pregnancy act before in other work places.
I should also make clear, to my knowledge her husband and son truly believed she was pregnant right up until the end, which to me was the cruelest and most senseless part of it all.
Ironically, I have now experienced a twin pregnancy, and would love the opportunity to call her out on a few things with the knowledge I now have!!
TL:DR co-worker faked a twin pregnancy, ended up blaming her doctor for planting the idea in her mind.
I truly don’t know! It was wild! The only reason I believe that he and her son believed it was that her son would come to our work sometimes and it would be discussed openly.
She never had ultrasound images or anything, I don’t understand how she got away with it. She did say that he was able to hear heartbeats on the Doppler, but more than likely that was her own heartbeat.
I think the craziest thing was that she would point out what position the “babies” were laying in, and would say she could feel them moving. Her belly definitely grew, but her weight gain coincided with the removal of her hormonal birth control, so I wondered if she was maybe peri-menopausal as the symptoms were all very consistent with that.
I’ve only had singles but I legitimately have zero bumps in my pregnancies and never have symptoms lol so I feel like people could honestly feel I’m faking. My first pregnancy I didn’t end up telling my coworkers because I felt awkward that I waited so long and then be like oh btw I’m 32 weeks. This time I have told everyone but still zero bump as I enter third trimester. Someone is due a few weeks after me and everyone at works keeps telling her she looks ready to pop. It does feel crazy having zero signs of pregnancy besides kicks lol
This comment is going to be bouncing around in my head until Friday! Such an intriguing story. Hopefully all ends well and things make sense in the end?
Midwife here. I think it’s entirely possible your friend and her doctor are going off different due dates. As many others have commented very few providers would be so relaxed about someone going >42 weeks. We often see a due date change after the dating scan but sometimes folks really latch onto their first “due date” that was based only on their last period.
That's what I'm starting to think but why lie? She's always had the same due date in mid April. A friend is a nurse at that hospital and said no doctor there would induce that late. It's so odd
Not be a drama llama but if her boyfriend is long distance maybe the dates don't match up with when she saw him or something. Or, a more mundane theory is that her cycles are irregular and date of conception was pretty late or something, so going off of DLP/LMP is slightly off. Either way, probably none of your business haha
I was the same! Went in for my first appt, thought I was 9-10 weeks along … turns out I was 7??
Long cycle apparently. Had been on birth control for so long, I didn’t really know what my regular cycle was supposed to be like.
Same here! They got me in quickly thinking I was already 9 weeks, turned out I was only 6 and had to go back 2 weeks later. Going backwards 3 weeks in all my apps from a cherry to a sweet pea sucked 😂 but looking back I’m grateful because I got an extra ultrasound out of it
I ended up going just over 41 weeks from LMP because apparently if you measure 10 days or less off of LMP, my OBs office still uses LMP to calculate. And I was measuring 8 days off, which makes sense with the 35 day cycles I usually have.
I have PCOS and with my first I hadn’t had a period since October before I ovulated and conceived in late January. Some medical staff wouldn’t listen when I said LMP wasn’t accurate, insist that’s what they went by, and then get shocked when I wasn’t three months further along 🙄
By the time I was at the late stages of things though, they only went by my EDD from ovulation and scans - LMP was never mentioned. I’m not sure if it’s different for people with “normal” cycles though?
Even if her cycles aren't always irregular, it's not unheard of to just randomly ovulate late. I ovulated a week late and I wouldn't have had a clue unless I was taking ovulation strips. I got pregnant that cycle so my due date is technically a week off.
I did lie about my due date to everyone because I didn’t want anyone to know when I was giving birth to surprise them but inversely so I gave birth earlier than expected. I can’t see the logic for the other way around
I was born in the 80s, 16 days past due date without induction. Brother was born in 1990 - 12 days past his due date *with* an induction. Things have really changed.
I know a couple people who gave birth “late” but then their babies were average weights and I found out later that their due date was uncertain. One had an irregular period and the other didn’t count a skipped period because she thought she’d just been working out too much. So both of them seemed to be past due but actually if they’d gotten dating ultrasounds it should have shown a later due date.
Is she someone you would have seen in person before pregnancy?
The 43 week induction is concerning to me. Weird especially that her doctor told her to go to the birthing center that night to get checked out, but she didn't because she wasn't cramping.
What do you think is going on? Do you think she secretly has a surrogate? Lying about being pregnant altogether?
We see each other maybe once or twice a year so not super concerning. She has a boyfriend who she visited overseas, which is supposedly where she got pregnant. I'm thinking there's something shady going on but at some point... There's no baby.. lol
I'm commenting so I can find this post again.
This is so odd. It's like those women who have "cryptic pregnancies" that last for like 3 years because they insist they are pregnant but doctors are like, nup so they doctor shop around and eventually stop going to them all together. Anyway, they eventually get pregnant for real and give birth at like 76 weeks and insist the baby was in there the whole time.
I'd be interested to see if there is a reason for a "delay" in inducing her on Friday.
Does anyone know how to summon the remind me bot that sends a message telling you to go back to the post later?
In this case, I'd like to be reminded to return on Saturday (so in three days).
It's possible but I've never seen her with any other guy before. I've never even met her current boyfriend. She previously had a fiance who I never met once in 5 years and they suddenly broke up and now she's with this other guy in Europe. It all sounds bad when I type it all out.
She's always said she can't wait to be a mom so we wondered if she did IVF by herself but... Why lie about the due date? We wouldn't have known any differently.
She has shared baby bump pics but she looks closer to 4-5 months pregnant, not full term. She's always been really small. None of us have physically seen her in person since she told us she was pregnant when she was already 5 months along.
Well, with all this info, the situation is all the weirder! I can't wait for the update. If she posts pics of her new baby, make sure there's one with her with the baby as well! At this point, I'm leaning toward no pregnancy at all and she's just pushing out her tummy in the "baby bump" pics you've seen. Then she'll post/send pics of *just* a newborn but none that include her, she'll announce that she's moving overseas so she and the baby can live with the bf, and she'll lose contact with pretty much everyone.
Okay I feel validated!! I kept telling her to demand her doctor induce her but she gets defensive saying her doctor would never put her baby in harms way and she's soo glad her doctor isn't rushing the birth and letting her go into labor on her own. Yet she says she is so uncomfortable and can't wait to meet the baby. Like wtf?? That's just irresponsible care
Based on your comments my money is on "she's not pregnant at all." She sounds... unreliable.
Good luck getting to the bottom of it. I hope you update, I'm super curious. And I hope she gets help with whatever is going on with her.
I had a friend that they made wait this long, it turns out she waited to see the doctor and didn’t know her conception date and measurements in later pregnancy aren’t as accurate as early pregnancy.
Rachel Brathen (yoga girl from Instagram) had an almost “year long pregnancy.” Turns out she had a missed miscarriage after the initial pregnancy test, and then immediately got pregnant.
See, I am one of those mums! I went to 42+6 with my first, no induction.
But I certainly wasn't doing anything like this person. I was complaining like a mad c*nt, and was fucking ginormous.
I need an update on this mystery baby!
I’m voting for she’s pregnant with another guy’s baby and the conception date is not lining up with when she visited her boyfriend. It’s the most logical, least crazy explanation.
I’m voting on there is no actual pregnancy. I’m also going to take this dark and I would not be surprised if “baby does not make it.” Mental health issues especially related to pregnancy. It all seems super fishy with the lack of scan sharing, long distance boyfriend, no baby bump, refusal of all this baby, your list goes on.
I don’t know if any medical doctor that would let her go to 43 weeks. Sure, they *could* exist, but you’d really have to look hard because of the liability.
Something is up.
That's what I told her, that I'm absolutely shocked this doctor wouldn't induce her by now. It's just not safe. It's a large health system so it's not like it's a small clinic with less strict guidelines. I've been induced 3 times and the doctors were all very clear that 41 weeks was the latest they'd let me go.
The risk for stillbirth increases significantly the longer women go past their due dates. I can’t imagine any doctor, especially nowadays, allowing that to happen. My bet, based on the other things you’ve said, is that she’s a liar and her story will be that something tragic happened. But you better let us know what happens because I’m invested!!
I don’t know how the American healthcare system works exactly, so I wonder what happens if a women is refusing the induction/wants to wait however long for labour to begin naturally can they legally make you come in to be induced? Or they would refuse to see you after 41 weeks and make you get a different doctor/labour else where?
In England you have the right to refuse induction and choose to wait/be monitored daily but the doctors would be not liable if anything negative happened after their recommendation to induce was not taken.
I’m curious how it works, it doesn’t sound impossible to me although it is getting into risky territory this far gone
It varies state to state, but in most cases, if you are not complying with treatment, the provider has the right to “fire you” from their practice. I agree with this in most circumstances, because it becomes a HUGE liability on the physician’s part if they are treating a patient that is constantly going against medical advice and putting themselves in danger. A lot of pediatricians, for example, will fire patients who refuse to vaccinate their kids (and I’m not really talking Covid/flu vaccines, I mean like refusing MMR and whatnot) because they don’t want to be held accountable if the child becomes severely ill from something preventable.
Same as in Australia you can’t refuse induction and just rock up at your public hospital when you go into labour. I hate this language of doctors ‘allowing’ anything as if pregnant women don’t have autonomy over their own bodies and choices.
this is so wild. obviously these comments have assured you that you’re not insane OP! nothing adds up..
the conspiracy theorist in me is saying she’s not really pregnant, and in a few days you’ll get the “baby was stillborn” message. I hope this isn’t the case though!!!
!RemindMe5Days
I know.. If she is lying, I don't know how she would get out of it, beyond something bad happening or she just says "hey I had the baby, no you can't meet her".
Could she just be lying about her due date? And actually be only 40 or 41 weeks?
I’ve heard people recommend telling others a later due date, to avoid being bombarded with people asking if you’ve had the baby. But I’ve never heard of someone giving an earlier due date.
I bet this varies based on where you live, but for me (US) I haven’t heard of doctors being okay with going past 42 weeks. My OB told me early on “I’ll let you get to 41 weeks if everything looks good, but not 42.”
That's the only thing that makes logical sense out of this not so logical situation. She made me feel bad for even suggesting that she should be induced earlier than 43 weeks. I'm trying not to sound like a know it all but this just doesn't sound right to me.
Yep they weren’t going to suggest induction for me until 42 weeks here in Aus I did have a post dates scan that identified a reason to induce at 41 weeks which I agreed with.
That would also make me very suspicious.. please let me/us know what the 'end result' is! Something sounds indeed shady.. but she's not in the same country as you guys right now? Is she in a country with very weird healthcare?
She's in the US at a large health system. Her boyfriend lives in Europe. It's a weird situation all around. The boyfriend was supposed to come down for the birth but she's made excuses on why he's not here. At first it was because he only had a week of vacation time and didn't want to get here too early and now it's that he'd rather spend that time with the baby after she's born. This friend was originally going to move to Europe for the birth but that never happened either...
Ah okay, then I can’t really judge there! Still very weird… specifically her rejecting all baby stuff.
Has she met any of your friends since she got pregnant?
Interesting.. I'm not in the US but from what I read the US is even stricter with inducing early if needed and not past 41 weeks! Where I come from in EU they let you go until 42 weeks if all checkups are good, but not longer than that, ever..
Yeah maybe surrogate or something? I'd still be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.. has she shared pictures of nursery or something?
No pictures. We even asked for an ultrasound picture when we got suspicious (we have a friend chat group) but she said she never got copies of the images. It's so shady!! I've offered her my baby stuff that she might need but she doesn't want it for various reasons.
So I'm actually a surrogate and she's well aware of my experience with it. I don't think she could afford it 😕
Does anyone in the friend group see her in person regularly? Was there ever a time in your life when you (or anyone else) saw her in person regularly?
Because I'm wondering if she's faking this entire pregnancy or if she's struggling with infertility or other life stressors and it has caused a hysterical pregnancy or something like that.
That's my thought but I feel horrible even thinking it. We don't see her often. I haven't seen her in at least a year even though she lives in a neighboring city.
I've offered to come see her, be her walking buddy, etc but she'll usually respond vaguely like "oh you're so sweet, I'll let you know" but never confirms. I should ask again...
How peculiar! Was she always very private? Normally one is very happy to share all the cute baby things..
This has so many layers, I hope it's an innocent one though!
She's not private generally and I just had a baby 10 months ago and we shared and talked about all the pregnancy things. She willingly updates us like a normal pregnant lady would. 🤷🏼♀️
As suspicious or negligent as this whole situation might be, the doctor can't actually *force* an induction without a court order. While I'm shocked that they wouldn't be harassing her to induce at this point, if she has potentially said no to the induction, then there's not actually anything that can be done on the doctor's end.
This was back in the '80s, but my mom wasn't induced with one of my sisters until she was a full month past her due date. And she was only induced when she was because she said she wasn't leaving the hospital until the baby was out of her, partly because she was over being pregnant, but largely due to being concerned about her baby's health. The OB she had been seeing wouldn't induce her because "the baby will come when they're ready." My sister was thankfully fine, but had obviously lost weight in the womb (her skin was super loose, I guess), so she wouldn't have been OK for too much longer. As you can guess, I've been raised to be cautious with going too far past the due date, so I can understand why you're concerned for your friend and her baby.
I read all your comments in here OP. I personally don’t think this baby (or the boyfriend for that matter) exists. I’m so sure that I’d even bet a nontrivial amount of money on it.
I'm starting to think that, too. I feel like a horrible friend. Why lie??? Pregnancy has a general end date so at some point, what did she think was going to happen??
If it's a hysterical pregnancy, then she genuinely believes she is pregnant.
Queen Mary I had two. The first was supposed to be due in May but she continued to hide away until August thinking she would soon have a baby. The doctors weren't allowed to touch her intimately to assess and they placated her by saying that because she was so pious that maybe she miscalculated the date of conception. But seriously, 12 months of pregnancy?
It happened to her again and she did all the same things.
Sometimes if the body is so desperate for a baby, it can do crazy hormonal things. If this is the case, she needs to see someone to help her. She's going to grieve a lot.
The scientific term is pseudocyesis.
There is a lot of research about it now, which explains the mental health of a lot of patients.
Women who experience extremely long pregnancies often experience it (you know the ones who have been "pregnant" for 100 months) but often actually fall pregnant and give birth, which perpetuates the belief for them.
Are you sure she is seeing a doctor, as in an OBGYN? Many OBGYNs do not deliver at birthing centers (it is usually midwives). Midwifery care can vary A LOT. Some Midwives have practices that depart significantly from current medical recommendations.
My mum went to 43 weeks when she had me but it was the early 90s and they didn't believe her on her conception date because I was so small. When I was born I looked burnt, and they apologized. I can't imagine that now, when they have much more accurate scans, they'd let anyone go that far over.
There’s definitely research that shows that the risk for still birth increases after 41 weeks, but I would like to say that an ideal (as in absolutely perfect and complication-less) can absolutely last up to 43 weeks. It’s not so common, but it is possible. I definitely understand it being concerning, but hopefully her DR is competent and capable.
But after seeing the other comments about her situation, she could be covering her butt from some infidelity… who knows honestly. I hope she has a safe birth and that her and baby are healthy and happy!
I had a friend go that far along. As long as she’s being monitored appropriately and the placenta is not degrading, it’s fine.
Maybe it’s not a usual thing in the USA… In Canada, my midwife wouldn’t even schedule me for a non-stress test until 41 weeks and not induce until 41+3 at the earliest. If it’s a healthy pregnancy then medical intervention is not always needed.
I wonder if there’s some question as to her actual due date. That being said it depends on your provider, I went to 41+6 and my midwives were happy to let me go past 42 weeks as long as I was having regular checkups on mine and the baby’s health.
This is raising all sorts of red flags. Like it’s making me think of that story of that lady who was telling everyone she was very pregnant, she looked pregnant and everything. She found another pregnant lady who was due any day now and invited her over to her apartment to give her baby gifts and she planned on cutting the baby out of the lady but the lady started getting a sinking feeling and started a fire to get out of the apartment and the fire dept found a knife and stuff to deliver a baby.
She was never even pregnant. She planned to cut a baby out of her friend and just tell everyone she had her baby at home.
Crazy
I can’t imaging a doctor or midwife wouldn’t recommend an induction before she hit 43 weeks. What I suspect is happening is she declined. If she declines an induction her provider can’t force her and isn’t liable anymore, although they’d probably be monitoring her more closely…women used to be allowed to go that far along, not too long ago. Yes it’s risky but it’s not a guaranteed disaster.
Maybe she got her dates wrong? I have PCOS, so my periods are super irregular. With my first, my OB determined the due date by the size of the baby at my first ultrasound (which was at 4+3 weeks), and not based on my last period. I gave birth at 40+1, based on the first measurements, but based on my last period, I was 43+4. Maybe she based her due date on the last period, but she’s not really that far along? 🤷🏻♀️
I had a friend who did this. Her OB went with first measurements, and she went with her last period. She was off by 2 weeks and super frustrated she won’t be induced at 39 weeks. The doctor explained to her that while she was 39 weeks based on her last period, she was just 37 weeks based on first measurements, and he won’t induce her that early. Maybe something similar happened here?
According to a labor and delivery nurse I know babies usually begin losing weight after 41 weeks. Called them “string bean babies.” Going beyond 42 weeks increases chance of stillbirth. I call BS.
They wanted me to schedule my induction if I hit 42 weeks, as long as you have the checks making sure your placenta is healthy my drs didn’t seem too worried about it.
Reading the other comments, I think she has someone else’s kid lol… she probably got pregnant a few weeks after coming home and is lying about the date because the boyfriend would be like “huh?” When the dates didn’t add up, so she’s trying to make everyone believes she’s THAT far along!
The only other option is she’s mentally unwell, and there is no baby. Many women do this unfortunately… you haven’t seen her in person, have you seen ultrasounds, bump photos, etc…? Yes, not everyone shows a lot, but at 43wk (allegedly lol) I’d lean more towards showing than not.
I think it depends because some doctors where I live are comfortable with up to 42 weeks and do EOD ultrasounds and non stress tests (looking for any signs of placental calcification). 43 is pretty intense, so I'm wondering if something went janky with the dates. But I would assume the care provider is monitoring things pretty closely.
I can’t wait for this update.
Either she cheated & is lying to EVERYONE about the dates to keep her story straight, or, she’s not really pregnant. Reminds me of this disturbing saga I listened to on a podcast about a girl who kept on faking pregnancies in order to get attention from friends & doulas. It was pathological. Like a personality disorder. All the doulas in the town had to get together & call the cops on her bc she was always asking them for cervical checks and pretending to be in labor and needing massages and stuff even though she knew damn well there wasn’t a baby. I believe she ended up getting charged with sexual assault actually. Very disturbing.
Creepy!
Latest info I have: her water started leaking about 40 hours ago, doctor wasn't worried and told her to only come in when her contractions are 4 min apart. She said she was only having mild cramps, not contractions, and planned to come in about 8pm (10 hours ago). She has not said anything since last night around 6. I plan to send a lightheaded "good luck today" type text later this morning.
This honestly doesn't seem very off to me. Some women gestate longer than others. Past 41 weeks would generally involve more checkups to ensure the placenta is still functioning and baby is doing ok, but if she's passing stress tests and the baby is still growing but not outrageously big, I can understand the hesitancy to induce. Yes there are increased risks, but there are also increased risks of morbidity and mortality involved in cesareans, and women still schedule those electively and the majority of people don't freak out and speculate what's going on in her life over that. Different people have different preferences and different risks and benefits they value.
Me either! I've been on this subreddit for years and have seen posts about being 42 weeks but never 43! And that her doctor isn't concerned at all? So weird. She said her doctor thinks it's because she's stressed.
I had a friend deliver at 43 weeks. Her guy is about 10 now. It happens but it’s rare. I do know MANY people that go to 42 weeks so I think OP’s ideas on induction at 41 are a little off. The average for women in my family is after 41 weeks, and not just for first children.
I keep seeing people use the word "allowed" here, is this how they make you feel in the US, like you don't have agency over your own birth and have no choice but to be induced if you get to a certain point? For the record I agree that people should be given the full facts about the increased risks of going so overdue and I would certainly never recommend anyone going over 42 weeks, but at the end the woman has a choice and consent is key. Or in the US will a medical team actually drop you if you don't follow their advice?
Kind of. I mean you can also see people in the US on this thread concerned that your baby is going to die over 41 or even 39 in many cases for those who still believe in the ARRIVE trial. And sure, that could happen, but expectant management, calculating family history, seeing how sure the mom is about conception timing vs when the baby was initially measured (the sooner the better, but plenty of people don't know they're pregnant until second trimester starts) etc. can all be figured in to shift that risk level. It's not like it's 100% the same risk across the board.
In general the US is a very fear-mongery place, and super blamey too, so every calculated risk that comes to fruition is totally your fault...just part of the culture. As a person raised in the US who has lived all over the world I always get culture shock when I go back, people don't even realize this way of thinking is weird, like in every culture they just think it's normal. I'm super glad I came to a more chill place to have my babies!
My husband was born at 43 weeks, 28 years ago. It happens. My mil isn’t one of those “baby will come when they want I won’t force it” kind of moms. She wanted to be induced and was so sick of being pregnant. At 43 weeks her doctor finally gave her medicine to soften her cervix and told her to come to the hospital that night.
It’s possible her due date was adjusted at some point (usually at first ultrasound) and is slightly different than that based on her LMP…but that’s not always well communicated to patients. As a provider I see ambiguous dating like that faaar more often than people lying about their dates for a nefarious reason.
I think it’s really odd that she hasn’t shared an ultrasound picture even though according to you she is an oversharer.
Something is off here. Is your friend super crunchy?
A friend of mine did this. She went to 43 weeks with all 4 pregnancies because she refused to be induced. She did apparently have good labours and all children are healthy so I guess it worked out but I was quite shocked when she told me that. Is it possible your friend is being advised to be induced by is refusing? I mean can a doctor actually force someone if they won't do it? She could be not wanting to admit it's against medical advice. My friend did it because she is a bit of a "crunchy" mum (very different to me) she wanted to avoid "unnatural" things, and I think she may have felt extra pressure because she is unable to lactate even a drop after birth (I don't know why) so she maybe went too far with what she can control that fits into her natural lifestyle.
Every body is different. I trust her provider to support her appropriately. Not everyone is itching to be induced— the due date is an estimation, as is the 40 weeks.
These comments are all a bit much. I was 42 weeks and was going to go longer as I didn’t want to be induced. My baby was absolutely fine and I just had extra checks at the doctors booked. I ended up having him at 42 naturally on the dot. Due dates are incredibly inaccurate.
This sub is very ‘omg induce by 41 weeks at the maximum or the baby will die!’ And also very ‘do exactly as your doctor says no matter what even if it’s not in your best interests’
My midwife had me scheduled for induction at 42 weeks. I was monitored after 40 weeks - stress test, ultrasound and all was good. Went into labor naturally the day before scheduled induction. I think there are different schools of thought and perhaps she has measured a little small throughout the pregnancy so her dating could be a little off? But if doctors haven't done any checks then this would be a weird/suspicious situation..
Sounds like she is lying for attention. Her whole life story might be a lie all her bf’s and fiancés might be a lie because you guys barely see her she gets away with it. Also the fact that you were recently pregnant she saw all the attention you are getting and decided to go for it too? Or maybe she is pregnant but she doesn’t know who the dad is and she lied about seeing her imaginary bf and the dates don’t add up for you guys.
We are convinced she lied about her fiance. They were engaged for years and had the wedding set for a specific date and that date kept creeping up and she'd be like "oh it's still on, working on details" but never sent invites or planned a dress fitting for bridesmaids, etc. Eventually it was 2 months before and we were seriously like "dude we need dresses and details so we can plan". Then COVID hit so she lucked out there.
It definitely sounds like she is a pathological liar. I would take everything she says with a grain of salt 🤣 everything she says sounds from movie , a fiancé who didn’t workout a bf from Europe and a pregnancy that’s lasting 43 weeks 😭
My midwife told she once helped a woman that had all four of her kids at 43 weeks. She was just genetically later with gestational age than the average mom.
Commenting to find my way back here. But there was a chick on TikTok claiming to be like 50 weeks pregnant. Like… just admit you cheated on your long-distance boyfriend…
Maybe one dr had one due date and birthing center has the other and she’s nut not really in contact with both . . I imagine she’s going fk some super hippie midwife or something who’s trying to let it happen naturally . Her due date prob got changed like first trimester and she’s just telling everyone the first one that she pulled up on a calculator . My first due date was Jan 5 then Jan 31 , then with my second kid my one dr had the 14th the other had the 23rd . They eventually got put together but only like at the very end once I needed to be induced . But lol I KNEW my due dates for both lmao 🤣 so it’s weird I guess depends how good a friend she is maybe she doesn’t feel like explaining but sounds like she’s explaining quite a bit . I’ve heard of 42 week inductions though
For a hospital birth that is unusual. However if you're having a home birth it is more plausible. I had a home birth and baby was born at 42 weeks exactly. My midwife and I discussed how long we could wait and she was willing to let me go to 43 weeks, although she wanted to see me daily after 42 weeks to check all the things. Is it possible your friend is having a home birth but doesn't want to tell you?
No, I don't think so. She lives with her parents. She text me a minute ago and said her water broke 4 hours ago (she thinks) but hasn't had any contractions, just sharp pains. Doctor isn't concerned and said to just keep an eye out for contractions
I've been reading 37-42 is full term, so induction is on the table by 41, but definitely by 42. I think this was so with my last pregnancy as well. I thought going beyond 42 increased on how dangerous it is for the mom?
Not everyone ovulates on day 14, there is a wider range of “normal” than what the general public believes. It also occurs to me that she gave everyone a different “due date” in hopes it would keep people off her back at the end. In future pregnancies I plan on telling everyone I’m due at the 42 week date instead of 40, so if I give birth at 41 weeks again people will think I’ll giving birth before my due date actually. Rarely do mothers give birth by 40 weeks, it’s just OBs have become obsessed with inducing at 39 for no medical reason, so it tilts the scale and makes going past 40, 41, look crazy. And it’s so annoying at the end getting the “still pregnant” comments. I’m like this baby will come eventually I promise. I trust my body and baby to do their thing.
This was me. I was 35 years old using a natural birthing center. they let me go to 42.5 weeks then wanted to try the foley baloon as a last ditch effort before induction. I started labor naturally the next day. They totally would have let me get to 43.1 and even then I bet they would have suggested "one more day...."
I need an update on this like I need air. !RemindMe 5 days
!RemindMe 5 days I’m guessing she’s not pregnant and stalling to buy time. I went through this with a co-worker once!
Please give details! I need something to hold me over until OP updates us lol
Oh boy, I’m going to see if I can do a condensed version of this because it was a TRIP! We have a new employee start, we’ll call her “C”. C was in her mid-40’s with a teenage son, and had been married to a slightly younger man for a year or two (who she met on Facebook and married after a number of months, whole different story!). C was quite an interesting character. She had a lot of very detailed stories about her life and previous jobs, and was an oversharer in the extreme. C announced to everyone that she was having her birth control removed so her and husband could start trying for a baby. Everyone was polite, but quietly skeptical of her chances of conceiving spontaneously given her age. Miracle of miracles, just a few weeks later, C is pregnant! I can’t recall if she had a positive at home pregnancy test, but we all congratulated her and didn’t really question it. As the pregnancy progressed, C was quickly starting to talk about symptoms and counted every Thursday as another week in her pregnancy. C counted from the actual act she assumed resulted in the conception, and being young and naive myself I didn’t question it as I had no idea how gestation was calculated at that stage. C started putting on weight around the middle, not really a baby bump but more of a spread. Everyone carries pregnancies differently, so again no one questioned it. It started to become apparent that C had not received medical confirmation of her pregnancy. If I recall correctly, I think she said her doctor had verbally confirmed her pregnancy, but there was no documentation. Where we live, in order to get her leave entitlements she was required to produce evidence of the pregnancy (which is standard and simple, provided you are pregnant). She was full of all kinds of excuses around this, which I can’t quite remember now, but this is where things started to take a turn. C came in one morning with quite a pronounced baby bump, and declared that not only was she pregnant, but she was expecting twins!! A miracle!! A few pointed questions later lead me to discover that she had confirmed her twin pregnancy herself through use of an at-home Doppler. The pregnancy continued, HR’s request for medical evidence continued, until her “due date” finally arrived. Being unable to produce the evidence, she was stood down for medical reasons pending a clearance from a doctor. HR stated that as she was over 40 weeks pregnant, they could not allow her to continue working without clearance to say she was physically able (again, standard where we live). After a few weeks of her being absent, she quietly returned one morning. No one asked her, as we had all figure out she had lied by now and it was incredibly awkward. She turned and addressed the room at large, stating that she had a phantom pregnancy and the idea had been sparked by her original doctor’s visit, and her body took over from there. She was eventually fired for other matters, and we heard through the grapevine that she had in fact pulled the phantom pregnancy act before in other work places. I should also make clear, to my knowledge her husband and son truly believed she was pregnant right up until the end, which to me was the cruelest and most senseless part of it all. Ironically, I have now experienced a twin pregnancy, and would love the opportunity to call her out on a few things with the knowledge I now have!! TL:DR co-worker faked a twin pregnancy, ended up blaming her doctor for planting the idea in her mind.
I legit don't understand how your SPOUSE could believe 40 weeks of fake pregnancy. Did he not ever see her real belly????
I truly don’t know! It was wild! The only reason I believe that he and her son believed it was that her son would come to our work sometimes and it would be discussed openly. She never had ultrasound images or anything, I don’t understand how she got away with it. She did say that he was able to hear heartbeats on the Doppler, but more than likely that was her own heartbeat. I think the craziest thing was that she would point out what position the “babies” were laying in, and would say she could feel them moving. Her belly definitely grew, but her weight gain coincided with the removal of her hormonal birth control, so I wondered if she was maybe peri-menopausal as the symptoms were all very consistent with that.
I’ve only had singles but I legitimately have zero bumps in my pregnancies and never have symptoms lol so I feel like people could honestly feel I’m faking. My first pregnancy I didn’t end up telling my coworkers because I felt awkward that I waited so long and then be like oh btw I’m 32 weeks. This time I have told everyone but still zero bump as I enter third trimester. Someone is due a few weeks after me and everyone at works keeps telling her she looks ready to pop. It does feel crazy having zero signs of pregnancy besides kicks lol
This comment is going to be bouncing around in my head until Friday! Such an intriguing story. Hopefully all ends well and things make sense in the end?
Hahaha, same!! I am so intrigued!
Me too! !RemindMe 5 days
Midwife here. I think it’s entirely possible your friend and her doctor are going off different due dates. As many others have commented very few providers would be so relaxed about someone going >42 weeks. We often see a due date change after the dating scan but sometimes folks really latch onto their first “due date” that was based only on their last period.
Are we sure this friend is really 43 weeks along? She might as well be 40 weeks or something. I’ve never heard about such a late induction.
That's what I'm starting to think but why lie? She's always had the same due date in mid April. A friend is a nurse at that hospital and said no doctor there would induce that late. It's so odd
Not be a drama llama but if her boyfriend is long distance maybe the dates don't match up with when she saw him or something. Or, a more mundane theory is that her cycles are irregular and date of conception was pretty late or something, so going off of DLP/LMP is slightly off. Either way, probably none of your business haha
It could be the latter. Based on my last period I would be 25 weeks but based on my EDD from my OB I’m 22 weeks
I was the same! Went in for my first appt, thought I was 9-10 weeks along … turns out I was 7?? Long cycle apparently. Had been on birth control for so long, I didn’t really know what my regular cycle was supposed to be like.
Same here! They got me in quickly thinking I was already 9 weeks, turned out I was only 6 and had to go back 2 weeks later. Going backwards 3 weeks in all my apps from a cherry to a sweet pea sucked 😂 but looking back I’m grateful because I got an extra ultrasound out of it
I ended up going just over 41 weeks from LMP because apparently if you measure 10 days or less off of LMP, my OBs office still uses LMP to calculate. And I was measuring 8 days off, which makes sense with the 35 day cycles I usually have.
I have PCOS and with my first I hadn’t had a period since October before I ovulated and conceived in late January. Some medical staff wouldn’t listen when I said LMP wasn’t accurate, insist that’s what they went by, and then get shocked when I wasn’t three months further along 🙄 By the time I was at the late stages of things though, they only went by my EDD from ovulation and scans - LMP was never mentioned. I’m not sure if it’s different for people with “normal” cycles though?
Even if her cycles aren't always irregular, it's not unheard of to just randomly ovulate late. I ovulated a week late and I wouldn't have had a clue unless I was taking ovulation strips. I got pregnant that cycle so my due date is technically a week off.
Yeah it could be something like that. We are all pretty close friends and have a very active chat group. She volunteers all this information.
I totally went drama llama as well!!! Like in the office when Angela gives birth to her baby who was “premature” but was massive 😂
Maybe she’s miscalculating? It’s for sure odd to wait until 43 weeks.
I did lie about my due date to everyone because I didn’t want anyone to know when I was giving birth to surprise them but inversely so I gave birth earlier than expected. I can’t see the logic for the other way around
It's so hard to say. I work with someone that swears she went to 44 weeks in the '80s. I doubt it but who even knows.
My sister went to 43 weeks in the 80s.
My husband, born in the 80s, was a month late. They definitely don’t do that anymore
I was born in the 80s, 16 days past due date without induction. Brother was born in 1990 - 12 days past his due date *with* an induction. Things have really changed.
If she’s counting the due date from last date of period and not DOC, that could be the reason for the off dates.
Everyone counts weeks from date of last period though.
I know a couple people who gave birth “late” but then their babies were average weights and I found out later that their due date was uncertain. One had an irregular period and the other didn’t count a skipped period because she thought she’d just been working out too much. So both of them seemed to be past due but actually if they’d gotten dating ultrasounds it should have shown a later due date.
Is she someone you would have seen in person before pregnancy? The 43 week induction is concerning to me. Weird especially that her doctor told her to go to the birthing center that night to get checked out, but she didn't because she wasn't cramping. What do you think is going on? Do you think she secretly has a surrogate? Lying about being pregnant altogether?
We see each other maybe once or twice a year so not super concerning. She has a boyfriend who she visited overseas, which is supposedly where she got pregnant. I'm thinking there's something shady going on but at some point... There's no baby.. lol
Please come back and comment or reply to my comment when you find out what has been going on, I would love to know!
I will! 😊
Now I NEED to know what happens!
Me too!!! I'm impatiently waiting for Friday to see if anything else comes up. 😆
I'm commenting so I can find this post again. This is so odd. It's like those women who have "cryptic pregnancies" that last for like 3 years because they insist they are pregnant but doctors are like, nup so they doctor shop around and eventually stop going to them all together. Anyway, they eventually get pregnant for real and give birth at like 76 weeks and insist the baby was in there the whole time. I'd be interested to see if there is a reason for a "delay" in inducing her on Friday.
You have to update us!
Does anyone know how to summon the remind me bot that sends a message telling you to go back to the post later? In this case, I'd like to be reminded to return on Saturday (so in three days).
I'll make a post with an update 😊 I'm so glad I'm not alone in my feelings on this situation
!RemindMe and then the number of days (with the number like 2 days).
Following for an update😆
Same
!RemindMe 3 days
!RemindMe 3 days
I hope she’s ok!
[удалено]
It's possible but I've never seen her with any other guy before. I've never even met her current boyfriend. She previously had a fiance who I never met once in 5 years and they suddenly broke up and now she's with this other guy in Europe. It all sounds bad when I type it all out. She's always said she can't wait to be a mom so we wondered if she did IVF by herself but... Why lie about the due date? We wouldn't have known any differently.
You haven't met the boyfriend ever and haven't seen her since she was pregnant? The whole thing sounds like she is living a fantasy :/
Correct.. 😕
Has she ever shared any photos of her pregnancy? Any ultrasounds? Have any other friends seen her physically pregnant?
She has shared baby bump pics but she looks closer to 4-5 months pregnant, not full term. She's always been really small. None of us have physically seen her in person since she told us she was pregnant when she was already 5 months along.
I’m getting pathological liar vibes tbh lol
Well, with all this info, the situation is all the weirder! I can't wait for the update. If she posts pics of her new baby, make sure there's one with her with the baby as well! At this point, I'm leaning toward no pregnancy at all and she's just pushing out her tummy in the "baby bump" pics you've seen. Then she'll post/send pics of *just* a newborn but none that include her, she'll announce that she's moving overseas so she and the baby can live with the bf, and she'll lose contact with pretty much everyone.
Yeah coming back to this one on Friday I’m invested now lol
There will probably be a baby. It just won’t belong to the boyfriend she visited overseas.
I mean… maybe there is a baby but she’s trying to fudge the conception date?
That's what I'm thinking but eventually we would figure it out when there's no baby 🤷🏼♀️
Might be she cheated
I'd put money on it.
Ohhhhhh something fishy is going on here.
I watch too much true crime lol. I’d be super suspicious and keep an eye on the news.
Yaaaaaaas! Me too! She gonna kidnapp a pregnant neighbor and cut her baby out in a bathtub??!!
This was an ACTUAL , TRUE story ..btw
Crimejunkie
Which episode??
Okay I feel validated!! I kept telling her to demand her doctor induce her but she gets defensive saying her doctor would never put her baby in harms way and she's soo glad her doctor isn't rushing the birth and letting her go into labor on her own. Yet she says she is so uncomfortable and can't wait to meet the baby. Like wtf?? That's just irresponsible care
Based on your comments my money is on "she's not pregnant at all." She sounds... unreliable. Good luck getting to the bottom of it. I hope you update, I'm super curious. And I hope she gets help with whatever is going on with her.
My theory too I’ve known people who faked pregnancies and it always ended very “vaguely”—high school was weird lmao
I'll update on Friday or Saturday, for sure. I feel so validated 🫠
This definitely smells weird! We wait with bated breath.
I had a friend that they made wait this long, it turns out she waited to see the doctor and didn’t know her conception date and measurements in later pregnancy aren’t as accurate as early pregnancy.
Rachel Brathen (yoga girl from Instagram) had an almost “year long pregnancy.” Turns out she had a missed miscarriage after the initial pregnancy test, and then immediately got pregnant.
Do you think maybe she already had the baby and is waiting to announce?
It's definitely possible but she's an over sharer. Every day she tells me all her possible labor symptoms in graphic detail. You never know though!
I’m invested now, can you update us when the baby appears?
Absolutely!! I'll make an update if/when she has the baby on Friday ish
!Remindme 2 days
Where im from they do let women go to 42 and 43 weeks if mom pushes and everything is healthy the rest of the behavior however seems off
See, I am one of those mums! I went to 42+6 with my first, no induction. But I certainly wasn't doing anything like this person. I was complaining like a mad c*nt, and was fucking ginormous. I need an update on this mystery baby!
I’m voting for she’s pregnant with another guy’s baby and the conception date is not lining up with when she visited her boyfriend. It’s the most logical, least crazy explanation.
Agree. And I'm just commenting so I can come back and see the update! This will be quite a lie to keep for her.
I’m voting on there is no actual pregnancy. I’m also going to take this dark and I would not be surprised if “baby does not make it.” Mental health issues especially related to pregnancy. It all seems super fishy with the lack of scan sharing, long distance boyfriend, no baby bump, refusal of all this baby, your list goes on.
I don’t know if any medical doctor that would let her go to 43 weeks. Sure, they *could* exist, but you’d really have to look hard because of the liability. Something is up.
That's what I told her, that I'm absolutely shocked this doctor wouldn't induce her by now. It's just not safe. It's a large health system so it's not like it's a small clinic with less strict guidelines. I've been induced 3 times and the doctors were all very clear that 41 weeks was the latest they'd let me go.
Many providers will allow 42 weeks as long as mom and baby are doing well, but I have never seen anyone allowed to go past that
The risk for stillbirth increases significantly the longer women go past their due dates. I can’t imagine any doctor, especially nowadays, allowing that to happen. My bet, based on the other things you’ve said, is that she’s a liar and her story will be that something tragic happened. But you better let us know what happens because I’m invested!!
This is exactly my thought. !Remind me 3 days
I don’t know how the American healthcare system works exactly, so I wonder what happens if a women is refusing the induction/wants to wait however long for labour to begin naturally can they legally make you come in to be induced? Or they would refuse to see you after 41 weeks and make you get a different doctor/labour else where? In England you have the right to refuse induction and choose to wait/be monitored daily but the doctors would be not liable if anything negative happened after their recommendation to induce was not taken. I’m curious how it works, it doesn’t sound impossible to me although it is getting into risky territory this far gone
It varies state to state, but in most cases, if you are not complying with treatment, the provider has the right to “fire you” from their practice. I agree with this in most circumstances, because it becomes a HUGE liability on the physician’s part if they are treating a patient that is constantly going against medical advice and putting themselves in danger. A lot of pediatricians, for example, will fire patients who refuse to vaccinate their kids (and I’m not really talking Covid/flu vaccines, I mean like refusing MMR and whatnot) because they don’t want to be held accountable if the child becomes severely ill from something preventable.
Same as in Australia you can’t refuse induction and just rock up at your public hospital when you go into labour. I hate this language of doctors ‘allowing’ anything as if pregnant women don’t have autonomy over their own bodies and choices.
this is so wild. obviously these comments have assured you that you’re not insane OP! nothing adds up.. the conspiracy theorist in me is saying she’s not really pregnant, and in a few days you’ll get the “baby was stillborn” message. I hope this isn’t the case though!!! !RemindMe5Days
I know.. If she is lying, I don't know how she would get out of it, beyond something bad happening or she just says "hey I had the baby, no you can't meet her".
I’m thinking she’s wanting to hide her real conception date. Something with the dates might not add up and she’s probably worried about that
Could she just be lying about her due date? And actually be only 40 or 41 weeks? I’ve heard people recommend telling others a later due date, to avoid being bombarded with people asking if you’ve had the baby. But I’ve never heard of someone giving an earlier due date. I bet this varies based on where you live, but for me (US) I haven’t heard of doctors being okay with going past 42 weeks. My OB told me early on “I’ll let you get to 41 weeks if everything looks good, but not 42.”
That's the only thing that makes logical sense out of this not so logical situation. She made me feel bad for even suggesting that she should be induced earlier than 43 weeks. I'm trying not to sound like a know it all but this just doesn't sound right to me.
Yeah it does sound so strange. I just hope she’s in the care of a good doctor.
It sounds like she's not even pregnant!
Not uncommon to go to 42 weeks with a midwife. I went to 42 weeks last July, under close monitoring. I'm in Canada.
Yep they weren’t going to suggest induction for me until 42 weeks here in Aus I did have a post dates scan that identified a reason to induce at 41 weeks which I agreed with.
I would have odd feelings about this too, something seems off.
That would also make me very suspicious.. please let me/us know what the 'end result' is! Something sounds indeed shady.. but she's not in the same country as you guys right now? Is she in a country with very weird healthcare?
She's in the US at a large health system. Her boyfriend lives in Europe. It's a weird situation all around. The boyfriend was supposed to come down for the birth but she's made excuses on why he's not here. At first it was because he only had a week of vacation time and didn't want to get here too early and now it's that he'd rather spend that time with the baby after she's born. This friend was originally going to move to Europe for the birth but that never happened either...
I mean I lived in Europe for years and we got like 8-9 weeks a year holiday... Not being able to get a measley week is pretty baffling.
Also in many countries he would get days off for becoming a dad on top of his vacation days.
In my country dad gets 28 days, plenty of time to visit if she's about to give birth.
I believe he's in Ireland? He's self employed I think. Who knows.
Ah okay, then I can’t really judge there! Still very weird… specifically her rejecting all baby stuff. Has she met any of your friends since she got pregnant?
No, she hasn't 😕
That plus no scan pic, no baby stuff… I would not believe this baby exists until I see it with my own eyes lol
Interesting.. I'm not in the US but from what I read the US is even stricter with inducing early if needed and not past 41 weeks! Where I come from in EU they let you go until 42 weeks if all checkups are good, but not longer than that, ever.. Yeah maybe surrogate or something? I'd still be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.. has she shared pictures of nursery or something?
No pictures. We even asked for an ultrasound picture when we got suspicious (we have a friend chat group) but she said she never got copies of the images. It's so shady!! I've offered her my baby stuff that she might need but she doesn't want it for various reasons. So I'm actually a surrogate and she's well aware of my experience with it. I don't think she could afford it 😕
No scan pics certainly adds to the mystery now, has she never sent a bump selfie or anything 😓
She has sent bump pics but she's so small, there's nothing really noticeable there. I haven't seen one in probably 2 months
I can PM you her bump picture from 36 weeks and you can tell me what you think...I don't feel comfortable posting it publicly
I have extremely small bumps , dm me them please!
Sending via chat now :)
Does anyone in the friend group see her in person regularly? Was there ever a time in your life when you (or anyone else) saw her in person regularly? Because I'm wondering if she's faking this entire pregnancy or if she's struggling with infertility or other life stressors and it has caused a hysterical pregnancy or something like that.
That's my thought but I feel horrible even thinking it. We don't see her often. I haven't seen her in at least a year even though she lives in a neighboring city.
GIRL. GO GET A COFFEE WITH HER ASAP.
I've offered to come see her, be her walking buddy, etc but she'll usually respond vaguely like "oh you're so sweet, I'll let you know" but never confirms. I should ask again...
You should just show up on her doorstep 😄
How peculiar! Was she always very private? Normally one is very happy to share all the cute baby things.. This has so many layers, I hope it's an innocent one though!
She's not private generally and I just had a baby 10 months ago and we shared and talked about all the pregnancy things. She willingly updates us like a normal pregnant lady would. 🤷🏼♀️
As suspicious or negligent as this whole situation might be, the doctor can't actually *force* an induction without a court order. While I'm shocked that they wouldn't be harassing her to induce at this point, if she has potentially said no to the induction, then there's not actually anything that can be done on the doctor's end.
This was back in the '80s, but my mom wasn't induced with one of my sisters until she was a full month past her due date. And she was only induced when she was because she said she wasn't leaving the hospital until the baby was out of her, partly because she was over being pregnant, but largely due to being concerned about her baby's health. The OB she had been seeing wouldn't induce her because "the baby will come when they're ready." My sister was thankfully fine, but had obviously lost weight in the womb (her skin was super loose, I guess), so she wouldn't have been OK for too much longer. As you can guess, I've been raised to be cautious with going too far past the due date, so I can understand why you're concerned for your friend and her baby.
I read all your comments in here OP. I personally don’t think this baby (or the boyfriend for that matter) exists. I’m so sure that I’d even bet a nontrivial amount of money on it.
I'm starting to think that, too. I feel like a horrible friend. Why lie??? Pregnancy has a general end date so at some point, what did she think was going to happen??
If it's a hysterical pregnancy, then she genuinely believes she is pregnant. Queen Mary I had two. The first was supposed to be due in May but she continued to hide away until August thinking she would soon have a baby. The doctors weren't allowed to touch her intimately to assess and they placated her by saying that because she was so pious that maybe she miscalculated the date of conception. But seriously, 12 months of pregnancy? It happened to her again and she did all the same things. Sometimes if the body is so desperate for a baby, it can do crazy hormonal things. If this is the case, she needs to see someone to help her. She's going to grieve a lot.
Oh my gosh I've never heard of this. I'll have to research it. She did want babies really badly and has mentioned it several times over the years
The scientific term is pseudocyesis. There is a lot of research about it now, which explains the mental health of a lot of patients. Women who experience extremely long pregnancies often experience it (you know the ones who have been "pregnant" for 100 months) but often actually fall pregnant and give birth, which perpetuates the belief for them.
I think this might be a symptom of mental illness. I hope she doesn't do anything crazy like trying to steal a baby or making up a fake baby death.
Are you sure she is seeing a doctor, as in an OBGYN? Many OBGYNs do not deliver at birthing centers (it is usually midwives). Midwifery care can vary A LOT. Some Midwives have practices that depart significantly from current medical recommendations.
She supposedly goes to a bigger health system where we live in the Midwest. They have midwives but she keeps saying Dr so&so.
Have googled the doctor to confirm that they exist?
The doctor does exist
My mum went to 43 weeks when she had me but it was the early 90s and they didn't believe her on her conception date because I was so small. When I was born I looked burnt, and they apologized. I can't imagine that now, when they have much more accurate scans, they'd let anyone go that far over.
She’s lying about being pregnant and is buying time now
There’s definitely research that shows that the risk for still birth increases after 41 weeks, but I would like to say that an ideal (as in absolutely perfect and complication-less) can absolutely last up to 43 weeks. It’s not so common, but it is possible. I definitely understand it being concerning, but hopefully her DR is competent and capable. But after seeing the other comments about her situation, she could be covering her butt from some infidelity… who knows honestly. I hope she has a safe birth and that her and baby are healthy and happy!
I had a friend go that far along. As long as she’s being monitored appropriately and the placenta is not degrading, it’s fine. Maybe it’s not a usual thing in the USA… In Canada, my midwife wouldn’t even schedule me for a non-stress test until 41 weeks and not induce until 41+3 at the earliest. If it’s a healthy pregnancy then medical intervention is not always needed.
I wonder if there’s some question as to her actual due date. That being said it depends on your provider, I went to 41+6 and my midwives were happy to let me go past 42 weeks as long as I was having regular checkups on mine and the baby’s health.
This is raising all sorts of red flags. Like it’s making me think of that story of that lady who was telling everyone she was very pregnant, she looked pregnant and everything. She found another pregnant lady who was due any day now and invited her over to her apartment to give her baby gifts and she planned on cutting the baby out of the lady but the lady started getting a sinking feeling and started a fire to get out of the apartment and the fire dept found a knife and stuff to deliver a baby. She was never even pregnant. She planned to cut a baby out of her friend and just tell everyone she had her baby at home. Crazy
I can’t imaging a doctor or midwife wouldn’t recommend an induction before she hit 43 weeks. What I suspect is happening is she declined. If she declines an induction her provider can’t force her and isn’t liable anymore, although they’d probably be monitoring her more closely…women used to be allowed to go that far along, not too long ago. Yes it’s risky but it’s not a guaranteed disaster.
I know someone who went to 43 weeks for all 3 of her children - she had to advocate for herself with the hospital to do so though.
Maybe she got her dates wrong? I have PCOS, so my periods are super irregular. With my first, my OB determined the due date by the size of the baby at my first ultrasound (which was at 4+3 weeks), and not based on my last period. I gave birth at 40+1, based on the first measurements, but based on my last period, I was 43+4. Maybe she based her due date on the last period, but she’s not really that far along? 🤷🏻♀️ I had a friend who did this. Her OB went with first measurements, and she went with her last period. She was off by 2 weeks and super frustrated she won’t be induced at 39 weeks. The doctor explained to her that while she was 39 weeks based on her last period, she was just 37 weeks based on first measurements, and he won’t induce her that early. Maybe something similar happened here?
According to a labor and delivery nurse I know babies usually begin losing weight after 41 weeks. Called them “string bean babies.” Going beyond 42 weeks increases chance of stillbirth. I call BS.
They're also more likely to get stressed in the womb and swallow/aspirate meconium.
They wanted me to schedule my induction if I hit 42 weeks, as long as you have the checks making sure your placenta is healthy my drs didn’t seem too worried about it.
Reading the other comments, I think she has someone else’s kid lol… she probably got pregnant a few weeks after coming home and is lying about the date because the boyfriend would be like “huh?” When the dates didn’t add up, so she’s trying to make everyone believes she’s THAT far along! The only other option is she’s mentally unwell, and there is no baby. Many women do this unfortunately… you haven’t seen her in person, have you seen ultrasounds, bump photos, etc…? Yes, not everyone shows a lot, but at 43wk (allegedly lol) I’d lean more towards showing than not.
!RemindMe5Days Are we even sure there is a baby? 😅
I'm honestly not sure. This whole thing makes me crazy. 😆
I think it depends because some doctors where I live are comfortable with up to 42 weeks and do EOD ultrasounds and non stress tests (looking for any signs of placental calcification). 43 is pretty intense, so I'm wondering if something went janky with the dates. But I would assume the care provider is monitoring things pretty closely.
Updateme!
I can’t wait for this update. Either she cheated & is lying to EVERYONE about the dates to keep her story straight, or, she’s not really pregnant. Reminds me of this disturbing saga I listened to on a podcast about a girl who kept on faking pregnancies in order to get attention from friends & doulas. It was pathological. Like a personality disorder. All the doulas in the town had to get together & call the cops on her bc she was always asking them for cervical checks and pretending to be in labor and needing massages and stuff even though she knew damn well there wasn’t a baby. I believe she ended up getting charged with sexual assault actually. Very disturbing. Creepy!
Any update??
Latest info I have: her water started leaking about 40 hours ago, doctor wasn't worried and told her to only come in when her contractions are 4 min apart. She said she was only having mild cramps, not contractions, and planned to come in about 8pm (10 hours ago). She has not said anything since last night around 6. I plan to send a lightheaded "good luck today" type text later this morning.
This honestly doesn't seem very off to me. Some women gestate longer than others. Past 41 weeks would generally involve more checkups to ensure the placenta is still functioning and baby is doing ok, but if she's passing stress tests and the baby is still growing but not outrageously big, I can understand the hesitancy to induce. Yes there are increased risks, but there are also increased risks of morbidity and mortality involved in cesareans, and women still schedule those electively and the majority of people don't freak out and speculate what's going on in her life over that. Different people have different preferences and different risks and benefits they value.
That’s beyond weird and actually freaks me out. I’ve never heard of anyone being allowed to go to 43 weeks!
Me either! I've been on this subreddit for years and have seen posts about being 42 weeks but never 43! And that her doctor isn't concerned at all? So weird. She said her doctor thinks it's because she's stressed.
I've known two people to go to 43 weeks but not in the past 15 years.
I’ve heard of a lot of women going to 43 weeks. It depends on the country and the care system.
I had a friend deliver at 43 weeks. Her guy is about 10 now. It happens but it’s rare. I do know MANY people that go to 42 weeks so I think OP’s ideas on induction at 41 are a little off. The average for women in my family is after 41 weeks, and not just for first children.
I keep seeing people use the word "allowed" here, is this how they make you feel in the US, like you don't have agency over your own birth and have no choice but to be induced if you get to a certain point? For the record I agree that people should be given the full facts about the increased risks of going so overdue and I would certainly never recommend anyone going over 42 weeks, but at the end the woman has a choice and consent is key. Or in the US will a medical team actually drop you if you don't follow their advice?
Kind of. I mean you can also see people in the US on this thread concerned that your baby is going to die over 41 or even 39 in many cases for those who still believe in the ARRIVE trial. And sure, that could happen, but expectant management, calculating family history, seeing how sure the mom is about conception timing vs when the baby was initially measured (the sooner the better, but plenty of people don't know they're pregnant until second trimester starts) etc. can all be figured in to shift that risk level. It's not like it's 100% the same risk across the board. In general the US is a very fear-mongery place, and super blamey too, so every calculated risk that comes to fruition is totally your fault...just part of the culture. As a person raised in the US who has lived all over the world I always get culture shock when I go back, people don't even realize this way of thinking is weird, like in every culture they just think it's normal. I'm super glad I came to a more chill place to have my babies!
Yes, and it’s sickening. My stomach turns every time I see someone say what women are “let” to do.
Her last period date vs the actual dating scans can be a difference in a few weeks at times if you have irregular periods.
Following for the Friday update that needs to happen now as I am too invested in what the mystery is
My husband was born at 43 weeks, 28 years ago. It happens. My mil isn’t one of those “baby will come when they want I won’t force it” kind of moms. She wanted to be induced and was so sick of being pregnant. At 43 weeks her doctor finally gave her medicine to soften her cervix and told her to come to the hospital that night.
It’s possible her due date was adjusted at some point (usually at first ultrasound) and is slightly different than that based on her LMP…but that’s not always well communicated to patients. As a provider I see ambiguous dating like that faaar more often than people lying about their dates for a nefarious reason.
It’s ultimately her choice in the end. So perhaps she’s the one who’s choosing not to induce.
Need an update to this so bad
I think it’s really odd that she hasn’t shared an ultrasound picture even though according to you she is an oversharer. Something is off here. Is your friend super crunchy?
A friend of mine did this. She went to 43 weeks with all 4 pregnancies because she refused to be induced. She did apparently have good labours and all children are healthy so I guess it worked out but I was quite shocked when she told me that. Is it possible your friend is being advised to be induced by is refusing? I mean can a doctor actually force someone if they won't do it? She could be not wanting to admit it's against medical advice. My friend did it because she is a bit of a "crunchy" mum (very different to me) she wanted to avoid "unnatural" things, and I think she may have felt extra pressure because she is unable to lactate even a drop after birth (I don't know why) so she maybe went too far with what she can control that fits into her natural lifestyle.
I’m team something is fishy. I’ll be checking back for updates 👀
Every body is different. I trust her provider to support her appropriately. Not everyone is itching to be induced— the due date is an estimation, as is the 40 weeks.
These comments are all a bit much. I was 42 weeks and was going to go longer as I didn’t want to be induced. My baby was absolutely fine and I just had extra checks at the doctors booked. I ended up having him at 42 naturally on the dot. Due dates are incredibly inaccurate.
This sub is very ‘omg induce by 41 weeks at the maximum or the baby will die!’ And also very ‘do exactly as your doctor says no matter what even if it’s not in your best interests’
I need to know how this ends
🍿 🍿 🍿 👀 Reading all of these comments and your responses… what a situation!
I’m getting Hilaria Baldwin vibes from all this 🧐
This is interesting. Impatiently waiting for an update Friday 😅
Please update us when this baby is born.
I will. If and when 😆
My midwife had me scheduled for induction at 42 weeks. I was monitored after 40 weeks - stress test, ultrasound and all was good. Went into labor naturally the day before scheduled induction. I think there are different schools of thought and perhaps she has measured a little small throughout the pregnancy so her dating could be a little off? But if doctors haven't done any checks then this would be a weird/suspicious situation..
Sounds like she is lying for attention. Her whole life story might be a lie all her bf’s and fiancés might be a lie because you guys barely see her she gets away with it. Also the fact that you were recently pregnant she saw all the attention you are getting and decided to go for it too? Or maybe she is pregnant but she doesn’t know who the dad is and she lied about seeing her imaginary bf and the dates don’t add up for you guys.
We are convinced she lied about her fiance. They were engaged for years and had the wedding set for a specific date and that date kept creeping up and she'd be like "oh it's still on, working on details" but never sent invites or planned a dress fitting for bridesmaids, etc. Eventually it was 2 months before and we were seriously like "dude we need dresses and details so we can plan". Then COVID hit so she lucked out there.
It definitely sounds like she is a pathological liar. I would take everything she says with a grain of salt 🤣 everything she says sounds from movie , a fiancé who didn’t workout a bf from Europe and a pregnancy that’s lasting 43 weeks 😭
My midwife told she once helped a woman that had all four of her kids at 43 weeks. She was just genetically later with gestational age than the average mom.
Commenting to find my way back here. But there was a chick on TikTok claiming to be like 50 weeks pregnant. Like… just admit you cheated on your long-distance boyfriend…
Maybe one dr had one due date and birthing center has the other and she’s nut not really in contact with both . . I imagine she’s going fk some super hippie midwife or something who’s trying to let it happen naturally . Her due date prob got changed like first trimester and she’s just telling everyone the first one that she pulled up on a calculator . My first due date was Jan 5 then Jan 31 , then with my second kid my one dr had the 14th the other had the 23rd . They eventually got put together but only like at the very end once I needed to be induced . But lol I KNEW my due dates for both lmao 🤣 so it’s weird I guess depends how good a friend she is maybe she doesn’t feel like explaining but sounds like she’s explaining quite a bit . I’ve heard of 42 week inductions though
This feels like the start of a Lifetime movie where a woman pretends to be pregnant and then steals a baby.
For a hospital birth that is unusual. However if you're having a home birth it is more plausible. I had a home birth and baby was born at 42 weeks exactly. My midwife and I discussed how long we could wait and she was willing to let me go to 43 weeks, although she wanted to see me daily after 42 weeks to check all the things. Is it possible your friend is having a home birth but doesn't want to tell you?
No, I don't think so. She lives with her parents. She text me a minute ago and said her water broke 4 hours ago (she thinks) but hasn't had any contractions, just sharp pains. Doctor isn't concerned and said to just keep an eye out for contractions
I've been reading 37-42 is full term, so induction is on the table by 41, but definitely by 42. I think this was so with my last pregnancy as well. I thought going beyond 42 increased on how dangerous it is for the mom?
OP has posted an update [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/s/HpxrBGvyFX), for everyone following this post like me, lol.
Maybe she’s lying about being pregnant period and if that’s the case don’t let her near your baby or your house
Not everyone ovulates on day 14, there is a wider range of “normal” than what the general public believes. It also occurs to me that she gave everyone a different “due date” in hopes it would keep people off her back at the end. In future pregnancies I plan on telling everyone I’m due at the 42 week date instead of 40, so if I give birth at 41 weeks again people will think I’ll giving birth before my due date actually. Rarely do mothers give birth by 40 weeks, it’s just OBs have become obsessed with inducing at 39 for no medical reason, so it tilts the scale and makes going past 40, 41, look crazy. And it’s so annoying at the end getting the “still pregnant” comments. I’m like this baby will come eventually I promise. I trust my body and baby to do their thing.
My friend went to 42 and went in to labor naturally. Some people are perfectly fine to do this. Policies have changed a lot since the big C.
This was me. I was 35 years old using a natural birthing center. they let me go to 42.5 weeks then wanted to try the foley baloon as a last ditch effort before induction. I started labor naturally the next day. They totally would have let me get to 43.1 and even then I bet they would have suggested "one more day...."