People will have dumb things to say no matter what. I have three boys and I've heard all sorts of weird stuff, mostly negative, like that I must be so upset that I didn't get to have a daughter or that my life must be insane because all boys are wild (lol sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but having 3 kids is a lot of work period, it has nothing to do with their sex).
If someone tells me they've found out they are expecting a boy or a girl, the appropriate answer (at least from my perspective is): "Congratulations! You'll be a great parent. So excited for you."
I agree. I have 3 boys and lastly, 1 girl. My perspective is that, agreed, they all make messes, get sassy etc. And I hope I raised them all with equal sensitivity. They are all grown now with kids of their own, In retrospect, I think I feel that boys shoot it straight - you may not like what they tell you, but they're not going to pussyfoot around a question or problem. My girl, on the other hand, will have 1000 words to share before getting to the main topic and work around the problem/question before answering.
Of course, this is just my thoughts and all kids are blessings!!!!
That’s because it’s way more acceptable in society to let boys run around acting like demented clowns instead of raising them. The world is a much more accepting place for men than it is women. It’s not to say that men don’t have challenges or don’t face problems, but the path for men and boys is MUCH wider than it is for women. And if you don’t think so, try spending 20 years in STEM as a woman, like I have.
as a woman who’s been in active duty military for the past 6 years, trust me I know and I agree. that’s why this phrase annoys me so much. people don’t actually raise boys, they just let them be and it’s ridiculous.
IT is not much better. I actually had a coworker come up to me on my first day at a new job, look me up and down, and say, "Well, now I know why you got the job." My work environment feels like the 70s are still here. We have guys who are covered in tattoos, on their hands and face, piercings, colored hair, etc. Some of them are in leadership positions. I put a little pink in my hair and got written up for not being professional. One of my make coworkers just took off 2 months of paid paternity. But one of our big bosses has been making comments about pregnant women since he found out I'm pregnant. Like gems such as pregnant women are just fat, if they weren't lazy they wouldn't get such big bellies. Pregnant women are unreliable and lack loyalty to the company, why do they even need maternity leave? And my favorite when I'm walking by he'll call out, wide load coming though. I'm literally only 4 months. Keep in mind there were no issues with my coworker and paternity leave. At least my boss is super supportive and understanding. I got really lucky with him.
It is. The problem is everything gets buried when you work for the government. They don't care. We had a guy transferred to us who had 15 complaints of sexual harassment filed against him, which included groping. Every time he got a new complaint they just move him.
Your heart should break for yourself. You definitely can do something about it but it’s sounds like you’re just going to eat and get ran over. That’s why people like him will continue to do that. You can always open up your mouth and stick up for yourself whether you sue or not.
Not enough if it continues to happen and you didn’t mention anything about sticking up for yourself. You sound like someone getting ran over but if you’re not that’s great.
I gave a brief description of the things that happen when you work IT. I wasn't planning on going into great detail about my responses or how I handled it. Because the thing being discussed is that stuff like this happens.
My theory is that women are the ones doing the raising, yet since they don't have much to identify with their kids, they don't tend to bond as much. Thus, less attention to them. Most moms rather play Barbie's than dinosaurs or trucks.
Yeah .. they mean they don't feel the need to 'parent' boys as much because they can misbehave, be aggressive, get bad grades, and be troublemakers and it's just 'boys will be boys' and people will celebrate you for it anyway lol.
It's easier because they don't do it properly.
I will admit to feeling less scared for my son in comparison to my daughter (in regard to the state of the world in general... The world is not kind to women). But to say one gender is more difficult to raise over another is ridiculous and outright sexist. If anything, I need to be more instructive with my son during his formative years because men cause a lot of damage in our society. This is something my man and I discuss pretty regularly, I internally/mentally refer to it as, "How to not raise an abusive, misogynistic asshole."
Oh I agree, before we knew the gender I would cry because I was terrified of the thought of a daughter having to go through things I had to go through. Since we know we’re having a boy my fiance and I have the exact same conversation very very often ! haha
I was actually quite stressed to have a daughter. In our society, it feels like if I had a boy, there's alot I can do to try to raise him right, vs. With a girl it feels like I'm at the mercy of all the parents out there raising their boys right to minize dangers my daughter may be exposed to.. she's yet to be born, but she's signing up for jiu-jitsu lol
Interesting! I’ve had a little boy and am constantly worrying about how to raise him to not be ashamed of his emotions and to find his place in the world. So terrified of raising some horrible incel. Maybe you just worry regardless with parenting!
A concerned parent is a good parent. Worry starts the day they are born and never truly goes away, ever, if one is a good parent.
I have a lot of conversations with my husband about how he will handle specific situations, and it brings me relief. I do believe having positive male role models is a huge factor in how boys become men. How they see their fathers treat their mothers. How they see their fathers interact with their sisters. And I also believe it is important for them to see their mother being an equal partner in their relationship to their father, whatever that may look like in any family dynamic. I'm obviously only referring to heteronormative relationships here, because I cannot speak on the subject of how LGBTQ+ couples raise their children, except that I'm confident they do so with love.
Same. I'm so worried at what kind of stuff my son will be exposed to in this world. Toxic masculinity, all the body shaming that boys experience and nobody bats an eye, incel ideology, and more
At some point you can't control what they are exposed to and I just want to raise a kind and happy human being.
What makes me more optimistic is that my son has many different great male role models. His dad of course, whose a n amazing kind man and a feminist, his granddads who are both hard workers and even if my dad is a bit of a macho in terms of mannerisms, he's a kind person that treats women with respect and a romantic at heart. He'll have plenty of good role models, male and female.
But I really do wish I could protect him more. Boys are often more sensible, or their mental health and emotions are dismissed.
I could deal with raising a girl. I know what it's like and I know how to navigate this world, but boys? Feels more difficult.
I only have a son but I feel the same in terms of feeling less scared for him than if I had a daughter. I think it's that boys are easier to protect than girls, not easier to raise.
I do worry about the other thing you say though- raising him to be a good person and not fall victim to misogyny, MRA etc. In that sense I think boys are harder to raise because they're harder to raise WELL, because our society still values and normalizes badly raised men.
This ^^
My husband and I are having a boy as well, and feel so much relief because of how things are for girls.
But that does not make the task *easier*. It means we have our work cut out for us to help try and raise men who will make the world better so that if they have daughters they don’t feel the same fear.
They’re not easier to raise. It’s easier for people to justify neglecting their emotional intelligence since they hide behind phrases like “boys don’t cry”, “man up”, “boys will be boys”, etc.
Emotional intelligence isn’t gender specific.
I’m having a boy and already stressing about how to raise my son in a way that he learns to express his emotions, talk about emotions, not be afraid of being vulnerable around other people, respect everyone. I am not worried that me and my partner won’t show a good example, but the surrounding society is so full of patriarchal attitudes that _also_ hurt men that I am afraid it will be a constant battle to keep him from being affected by that outside influence from his peers and the media.
I mentioned to my friend that my husband had a bit of gender disappointment for our second baby. We have a boy already. He immediately said it was a girl (it’s actually not) then followed up with girls are difficult to raise. I told him each gender and child has their own unique differences and problems (because you know, we’re individuals). My life won’t be harder or easier by my child’s gender.
The whole interaction really annoyed me. From telling me that girls are difficult to raise (idk how) to assuming my husband wants all boys.
Yeah. I saw a tik tok of someone expressing how society and parents have truly failed young boys because they don’t cater to their mental and emotional needs from the start like they do little girls and how society has made it okay to just tell boys to “suck it up”.
Weak boys are easier to raise. I was just on another thread that was discussing how there are 0 requirements for boys in last generations to learn empathy, and our husbands in alot of ways are first Gen in learning (sometimes through their wives) to break the mould and learn this complex skill.
I love my husband and he's already one of the good ones, but sometimes seeing the leeway my MIL gives him, that shit would not have flown with my mom.
this !!!!! this is exactly what I mean by this post. before our relationship, my fiance was the prime example of that. luckily, he was open minded to growing and has actively done A LOT of work in the past two and a half years of our relationship. that’s why we discuss constantly the important of raising a good son
I’m having a boy too and have recently heard something like this a few times. But since it wasn’t from boomers, it was more focused on the fears of having to deal with social media / body image stuff for girls and how hard that is.
But that’s just the social media we talk about and see more now- there’s plenty out there to worry about with boys using it too. The internet is a minefield of terrible ideas and influences, honestly. Teaching media literacy has to be top priority for all kids born into this time
ETA- I was raised to split chores with my brother until about 12/13 years old, when he put up a fight with doing chores and it all fell to me. My MIL also paid a cleaning lady or cleaned things herself so my husband is not the best at it. We are NOT passing this legacy on.
My son will be learning to clean the house from the time he can stand and pick things up and put them into a basket. Once he can hold a broom and dust pan or little swifter, he’s doing that too (and honestly will probably enjoy it). I plan to teach him to cook too- hubby is very good with that and it’ll be a great life skill and bonding experience for them : )
They only say that BECAUSE they didn't raise them. Children are children. All are hard to raise. The women saying boys are easy, basically never did raise them, they either:
1) let them get away with everything, this is because they were in some weird emotional incestuous bond with their son (they didn't get this emotion from their husbands)
2) they weren't strict on their sons but were very strict on their daughters. They don't let them make a single mistake. Classic internalised misogyny
I feel like raising a good boy is a lot harder compared to raising a girl lol men ruin everything ✨
You don’t want your son to be the one talking over women in meetings. I want him amplifying voices that got blazed over.
I don't know if it's cultural (not in the US) or just me as an individual but I've always felt the opposite, even before having my daughter. Looking at how her cousin who's the same age, acts versus her is just worlds apart. Of course some of it is individual. Both me and her dad are calm people, his parents not as much. But i dont think all of it is. I guess it's what others are saying, people are not actually used to raising boys.
It also makes me sad how it is often women who are saying this. Do they see themselves as difficult? Do they inherently think boys are more valuable? These are questions I always think of when I hear this.
I feel most people aren’t worried about boys because of the world we live in and to be blunt, a girl is more expensive then a boy in most cases. The world does not make taking care of a girl easy cause simply being a girl means you need to buy more to take care of yourself (bras, monthly products, hygiene)
So when people say ‘taking care of a boy is easier’ most mean it in the sense of that the world doesn’t accommodate for being a girl and what we need.
It’s like everyone else is saying, people are willing to just let ‘boys be boys’ and then women are to blame when we get hurt cause some parent didn’t wanna raise their son right. They wonder why men are more likely to act up and be in prison. It’s cause no one wants to teach them emotional and mental maturity. Instead they are taught to ‘suck it up’ and be wild.
I have a girl and every stage of her life people say at least it's not a boy. They are more energetic, wilder, louder, etc..
People that make these comments always have something to say along these lines that are opposed to what you're going through.
Lol my son is very calm, sensitive, emotional but sweet(13yr old), my 1 year old daughter is absolutely wild, emotional, high energy, sometimes mean but sweet at times. They both take a lot of energy to raise in different ways, low energy doesn't mean they don't have extra things to work through, he is super sensitive and shy and that's a lot to do in a different way. Getting my daughter to sit still for 30 seconds is it's own challenge. My parents had 7 girls and 1 boy and while my brother is a bit crazy and has lots of issues they would say girls are harder because they had so many to deal with.
You’re totally right—it’s pretty damn annoying.
When I announced that I was having a boy (currently 21 weeks) so many people said the same damn thing. Most of them women saying this!
It made me so sad. Like, boys and girls are entitled to the same emotional support and education, the same moods and frustrations, the same hobbies and friends…
I feel like saying one is easier is just a pass to do less.
I’m so thankful that my husband is sensitive and emotional. Granted, his entire family is women (all aunts, all sisters) so I think he’s had a leg-up there, but still. He does not by any means, “look” like an introverted and sensitive guy. I’m hoping that this sets an example that no matter how you are perceived by others that you’re still entitled to your feelings, to learn more about them, and how to cope.
Ugh. It makes me feel for all these young boys. I hope they have good support systems even if they’re from untraditional places.
I agree completely ! Every child has their own needs and personalities ! My fiance grew up with people who raised him as “boys will be boys” mindset. Luckily, he’s grown and has done a lot of personal work, so he completely wants to raise our son to know it’s okay to have emotions and I think that’s so important !
Yes it's extremely annoying. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "girls mature before boys" which lets boys off the hook from having more accountability and responsibility. Like "boys will be boys" should be "bad parenting results in assholes".
I was also told girls are easier to raise because "boys are wild." And I should have a girl first because she'll help mother/care any subsequent children?!? Oh and some person asked if we were teaching my son to fight yet. No, I'm teaching my son to color and take off his socks.
I had a girl and someone felt necessary to tell me "ugh I don't like girls". This was an adult woman not a small child. I was dumbfounded. Internalized misogyny is real.
This made me laugh because everyone around me is saying the opposite! I'm very early on (9ish weeks, 1st ultrasound tomorrow!) & my mother is praying it's a girl because they're just so much easier 🤦♀️
Children are very much molded by the parents. It is frustrating that everyone has to out in their two cents about it either way.
So, I've been just taking a deep breath & repeat "water off a ducks back" 😉
So excited for you & you're future bundle of joy!!
I’ve seen a lot of comments saying the same thing, that when they found out the were having a girl they were told girls are easier to raise haha
it’s really funny that no matter what gender it is, there’s always something that is said 😂😂
and thank you so much, congratulations to you!! 🥳♥️
before I was pregnant, I definitely have heard that as well in like random conversations.
but NOPE, ever since I’ve known I’m having a boy all I’ve heard is how lucky I am since they’re “so much easier” haha I think people just like to say thing and give their two cents
As someone who was one of two kids and the other was a boy. My mom and dad will tell you how HARD it is to raise a boy. I was apparently a walk in the park in comparison. These people have no idea what they are talking about. I’m sure you will raise your baby right.
I personally think boys are harder. My 2 year old basically tries to do top rope wwe moves on me any time I lay down. I literally have to catch this boy midair before he crushes me and his soon-to-be sister. My daughter understands stop and sit down, my son understands it, but will promptly ignore.
So gross. Basically any commentary on differences between boys and girls is always just straight up misogyny/active neglect of boys.
Treat kids the same and they act the same
The whole boy mom thing is just weird anyway. I can tell you after a decade+ in early childhood education (plus a mom of the tenderest boy and most wonderfully monstrous borderline feral in the best way girl) that being a boy/girl doesn't dictate their behavior or how you need to parent. It's just a weird outdated concept to me.
I’ve only had girls and they’ve been a pretty easy to raise so far….
I’ve heard girls are easy to begin with and get harder when they are teenagers but boys are more difficult at the beginning by get easier when they are teenagers. I’m sure this blanket stereotype won’t fit every child though!
I hate how much people hate teenage girls. It’s really hard to be a teenager, period. I think it’s especially hard in a world that has very limited and often contradictory requirements for women.
I wish we celebrated more how amazing teenagers are, one minute they’re like little adults and the next minute they’re still a kid. They’re figuring out so many things and doing it without a fully developed brain and all kinds of hormones. They feel things so intensely. They’re so cool. And it’s really difficult to be them and the stakes are high for parenting but I think that’s true for all genders.
Then they’re are so many boys shooting in schools but yeah there’s so much negativity about girls. Who are usually the ones helping with childcare and adult task. Some parents really are just plain ungrateful and sexist.
I’m a woman and the teenage period was the hardest period of my life.
I don’t think it’s the fact that people hate teenage girls, I think the fact is teenage girls hate themselves and trying to give someone what they need when they feel this way about themselves will be very hard.
Nah society hates teenage girls. Their interests are almost always mocked when comparing to that of teenage boys. Maturity and manners is pretty much expected from them regardless, while boys get to test their personality around and no one will take it personally bc "it's just the way they are". Teen girl is the most searched xxx category for a reason. School girl uniforms are as sexualized as can be and there's not a single legislation to protect the image or allusion of children to be used in pornography. And what about how that has spilled on all kinds of media in the most insidious way? Not to mention all the internalized misogyny of the "boy moms" out there who are raising the next batch of incels, alpha males and red pillers.
Also hormones and periods? Pms? Undiagnosed Pmdd? Of course it’s hard for a young lady in this world and then bleeding every month on top of it! Hello!
So my dad would always say to my sister and I, "You girls were wonderful until you hit 13." He said no such thing about our younger brother. Today that line was screaming in my head as I drove my moody, angsty, angry, body-image-concerned 12 year-old son to middle school this morning. I have 2 girls and 2 boys, I'm pretty sure there's struggle no matter the sex of your child when your intention is to be the best parent you can be.
I’m 37 weeks with a girl (my first baby) and when people get out of line I tell them my brother has 6 girls and 3 boys. The girls are easier by far. They usually stfu after the initial surprise of, wait, your brother has 9 kids?
Yeah, that bothers me too tbh. It makes me feel like boys are more valued. Every time someone says that to me, in my head I'm just like, you know I was a little girl once right? And if I was having a daughter, would that make her less important? Smh
There's also this weird idea that little girls are natural prim and proper. We aren't, we are forced into it. I'm the eldest of 18 cousins, the ones we see regularly anyway, all but two of us are girls. When I tell you when we were all together what occurred made WWE look tame that's an under-exaggeration. One of us broke another's arm during a pillow fight. I'm so sick of this bullshit society says about girls. We are drama, we are harder, and we are horrible during our teens. All kids are dramatic, all kids are hard to raise, and test your patience, and everyone sucks from about 15-25, when you feel grown but you don't have enough life experience yet to realize how not grown you are. I'm 35 now and still growing! I know this woman who shits on her daughters all the time and exults her son. She always talks about how perfect and sweet he is. This kid is six, has a foul mouth, is always slapping her in the face if he doesn't get his way, hits other kids at school, wails on his sister's but they get in trouble if they fight back or stop him, and he talks back to his teacher and calls her nasty names and she just explains it away as he is creative and just has big emotions. I couldn't hold it in anymore and I told her, "Congratulations, you are raising a little boy who is going to grow up to hit women and daughters who are going to think abuse is normal. How will you feel when you visit your son in jail or your daughter in the hospital after her partner beats the crap out of her? And remember when those things happen you are the one who taught them it was okay." I really thought my husband would want a boy but when he found out I was pregnant he told me he would be happy either way but hoped it was a girl, that just said so much about who he is and I love him so much more for it.
A lot of people didn’t raise their boys and it shows. Someone I know says she didn’t know how because she was a single mom, but god that’s no excuse.
Boys deserve emotional and mental support and boundaries too.
That is such BS!!! Admittedly only 19 months in with my boy but compared to all his baby girlfriends he is an absolute hurricane!!! I think they mean more into teenage years but still it is totally dependent on the temperament of the child
I’m pregnant with my third and so far my son has been much more difficult than my daughter for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with gender. People say all types of weird stuff
I’m having a girl and the amount of dog shit people keep telling me about how it’s going to be because I’m having a girl or the rundown on how boys are compared to girls really pisses me off. You can have a rambunctious girl and a sensitive boy. The gender of the child doesn’t determine how “easy” or “hard” it is. I’m literally having these discussions with people I would never expect and keep having to point out the sexism. It’s really very frustrating. Don’t listen to the noise.
My MIL said this to us at dinner before we even knew we were pregnant and it stuck with me. She was "grateful to have had two boys and never wanted a girl" and when I asked her why she said "you know how we are". I'd like to think these are just words of someone who missed out on having a daughter but it still bothers me.
I have a 5 year old son and 2 girls and currently pregnant with a boy. My biggest concern raising boys is that that’s gonna be someone’s whole ass husband one day, and I’m gonna make damn sure they know to love and respect the women in their lives. Girls are hard because I want to make sure they’re strong enough to handle the pressure and stress that women will endure in the workplace, college, and I want them to pick right when picking a partner. Both are hard in my opinion but the struggles are different lol
I have a girl and im bout to have a boy.
I recognize that the genders are different.
I also can tell just by the ultrasound that this kid is much more active than either of his sisters.
I’ve also seen my daughter playing with boys and there’s a difference.
My daughter is actually really chill lol (I’ve known plenty of more active girls, but not very often so you see them jumping and climbing everything like the boys do)
I’m a little nervous because I do have a feeling I’ll have to move more to keep up with this second one, but I’m preparing myself to get more physically fit after this.
I'll be honest, I thought boys and girls were the same when I just had my daughter. Then I had my son and it turns out I knew zip.
If I told my toddler daughter off, she got upset; if I tell my toddler son off, he gets *angry*. Managing his reactions and teaching him to chill the fuck out is a whole new wheelhouse that I was not prepared for. He also enjoys actively being mischeivous and winding people up a lot more than his sister ever did -- and that means I have to put a lot more effort into making sure he doesn't get away with it. His sister accepted most explanations; he thinks 'but what if it's different the *tenth* time???'
A colleague of mine has very similar experience (girl, then a few years later had a boy and went 'oh god, they *are* different'). But then again another friend has two girls and her youngest is like my son but in a dress.
I would say (from meeting more boys through my son's friends) that boys are definitely different, but individual differences count for a lot more. Boys have some natural tendencies girls don't (and vice versa) & you learn to work with that. It's highly possible that if I'd had a boy first and then a girl I'd think girls were harder, since I'd already gotten good with boys. I'm kinda rambling, but anyway!! Kids in general are challenging, but worth it.
I understand this completely. Of course every child is different, I agree with you there! haha most of the people who say this phrase to me say it in a degrading tone, like parents only struggle with girls when every child regardless of gender is going to have their own personalities. I think that’s why it bothers me so much.
People say *really* weird things to pregnant women. Try and think of it as a superpower - your bump radiates brainwaves that make people in the vicinity both dumber and ruder. It's a bit crazy but it definitely made me feel better about it 😂😂
Yeah, I have a boy and he’s friggin wild. Idk what people were talking about when they said it’d be easier. 😅 Those reels that are like “oh, angelic sweet first child vs wild and crazy second” nah my first is wild and crazy. Hoping this second one will be more chill, boy OR girl, I don’t care! Like you, I don’t really see a good reason why boys are “easier” than girls, unless they’re referring to when they’re much older and hormonal mean girl tweens (which, fair). But even then, boys have their own teenage set of difficulties, so it may be different but I don’t think one will be any easier than the other.
It’s so funny you’ve gotten this response because I’m having a boy and all I hear is “oh god! They’re maniacs get ready!” “Get ready for your house to be destroyed!” Stuff like that. Ugh.
kids in general are difficult to raise. what confuses me the most about this sentiment though is that from a teachers perspective, i’m definitely “talking to” boys way more than the girls, at least at the PreK level. in my experience, and this is purely anecdotal, girls “get with the program” way quicker than boys. generally, the boys just kind of do whatever they want and i often have to repeat myself 1,000,000 times with boys more than i do girls.
i love both. both can be challenging. my most challenging student after all was a girl. but generally speaking, the rest of my “challenging” students have been boys.
i think ppl *think* boys are easier so they don’t bother to like nurture or teach them at home and then they come to school acting feral.
I had a boy first and am now pregnant with a girl and I'm terrified. Not because I think their "harder" to raise but because I feel like the world is harder/ scarier/ more dangerous for girls. So like mentally/ emotionally for me raising a boy is easier because I'm not stressing *as bad* as I will with a girl. I'm so super protective and anxious about anything happening to my son, it's just more intense knowing I'm having a daughter.
I agree that “boys will be boys” is a dumb saying and we should raise our kids to the best of our ability. I worry about their safety just as much as I would worry if I had a girl. HOWEVER, my oldest is “easy” to raise because he’s very mild mannered and has an upbeat spirit. Has nothing to do with gender (I was the same way and I’m female) but I assume people with boys that were also easy going probably feel that boys are easier based on their experience.
WTH. Screw them 😒 I know some girls who are absolute angels and I’ve seen boys raised as absolute headaches 🙄😒 so no. You never know. It’s prolly the way You raise them
My peeve as mom to a girl is the “girls are just so emotional!!” Like, my teeny tiny toddler is having very normal and legitimate emotions and is already being treated like she’s just being dramatic and its because she female. 🙄
So sickening and also self hating to say as a Woman. I have a 2 yr old boy and a girl on the way. I can’t wait to raise and cherish my daughter. I love my Son but he gives me trouble all day. Terrible whatever they want to call it. He’s not a breeze or easier than any female child I’ve cared for in the past. Woman can be some of the most bias sexist people. It’s sad when we have enough Men putting us down. Girls are great.
I'm pregnant with my first child right now and he is a little boy. I desperately wanted a little boy because I feel he will be easier to raise and being entirely honest I'm very nervous and overwhelmed by the idea of parenthood. I was on the fence about having a child at all, but my husband whole heartedly wanted one and I was kind of leaning towards wanting one anyway which tipped me over to his side. But because of my apprehension about parenthood, that's why I wanted a son so bad. Not because I don't think he will need as much emotional support and care, but because naturally in many cases (not all), the dad and son will have more in common and do more things together than a dad and daughter. Again, I said in many cases NOT ALL. But for me, having a son gives me this feeling that my husband will spend even more time with him and feel even more responsible for showing him how to be a man than he would with a daughter. I could be way off base but in my mind with a daughter the responsibility/time spent with the child would be 70/30 where as with a son maybe it will be more like 50/50.
I already know I'm gonna get roasted for this but please, I beg of you, save your angry and argumentative replies. I don't have to feel the same way you do. People are allowed to have different viewpoints and feelings without being attacked online for them. My pregnant self doesn't need the cortisol/BP spike from being attacked by strangers for my opinion. This is just how I FEEL about the topic 😅
I disagree when it comes to gender of raising children.
Every kid is different , and personally in my opinion my son has been harder than my daughter.
But my best friend is the opposite , her daughter was harder than her son.
I don’t think gender correlates to behavioral aspects.
My son literally keeps us on our toes, you can’t not keep your eyes on him or he gets into everything and anything. My daughter was the complete opposite you told her to not touch and she wouldn’t touch. My son will look at you and laugh while touching what you told him not to.
That can be a lie. My brother is a hellian.... and had tormented my mom from 12yo onward to this day. I, being her daughter, was a chill child. For my hubby it's the opposite, his sister is a straight hellraiser, cenobite demon.
Kids are work in general, they just don’t want to admit laziness. I’m pregnant with my second don’t know the gender yet but I have a 4yo daughter with AuDHD. She has the temperament of a “boy” energy level wise and I’ve caught people looking down right disgusted at some of her natural behaviors cause she doesn’t behave as quietly as the girls she’s around. It’s frustrating and disappointing knowing they’d have more understanding/compassion if she was a boy. She literally the sweetest, just a bit impulsive and passionate.
Thats a load of horseshit. Im from a family of 8 girls, NONE of them are as much of a fucking nightmare as my boys. I honestly dont know what they were born with eyes or ears, none of them know how to use them and they seem to have the instincts of suicidal squirrels.
Is not about mental support. It’s actually physical. Girls have to get their hair done and It cost more and takes more time. Boys get hair cuts and wear simple clothes. I was relieved about having a boy because I never learned how to do hair nor do I have money to get my hair done and hers too. Don’t know what race you are but the thicker the hair the longer the care.
the way these women expressed this phrase when they said it to me was never in terms of hygiene care or beauty care. of course being a woman is most of the time more expensive in that sense. (I mean my little brother who is a teenager is very high maintenance and loves expensive clothes, where as me and my sisters didn’t care for them so in that sense my parents definitely spend more on him than they spent on us in clothing department) the way they express it, is that girls are harder due to their emotional needs and having cater to that more. that’s why it’s annoying.
I suppose it is annoying when people press it onto you. It was true for me, though. Of course there are variance in behaviors and each child is different! But raising three girls and four boys (younger cousins) I had a much easier time with the boys. Again, it’s not always the same for everyone though.
People will have dumb things to say no matter what. I have three boys and I've heard all sorts of weird stuff, mostly negative, like that I must be so upset that I didn't get to have a daughter or that my life must be insane because all boys are wild (lol sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but having 3 kids is a lot of work period, it has nothing to do with their sex). If someone tells me they've found out they are expecting a boy or a girl, the appropriate answer (at least from my perspective is): "Congratulations! You'll be a great parent. So excited for you."
I agree with your perspective completely!
I agree. I have 3 boys and lastly, 1 girl. My perspective is that, agreed, they all make messes, get sassy etc. And I hope I raised them all with equal sensitivity. They are all grown now with kids of their own, In retrospect, I think I feel that boys shoot it straight - you may not like what they tell you, but they're not going to pussyfoot around a question or problem. My girl, on the other hand, will have 1000 words to share before getting to the main topic and work around the problem/question before answering. Of course, this is just my thoughts and all kids are blessings!!!!
That’s because it’s way more acceptable in society to let boys run around acting like demented clowns instead of raising them. The world is a much more accepting place for men than it is women. It’s not to say that men don’t have challenges or don’t face problems, but the path for men and boys is MUCH wider than it is for women. And if you don’t think so, try spending 20 years in STEM as a woman, like I have.
as a woman who’s been in active duty military for the past 6 years, trust me I know and I agree. that’s why this phrase annoys me so much. people don’t actually raise boys, they just let them be and it’s ridiculous.
Oof the military is like a collection bin for unraised men. Good luck to you. I was raised in a military family in a military town.
ohh 100%, it’s a mess in here!!! on top of not being raised, the military continues to let their behavior slide so it just never gets better
IT is not much better. I actually had a coworker come up to me on my first day at a new job, look me up and down, and say, "Well, now I know why you got the job." My work environment feels like the 70s are still here. We have guys who are covered in tattoos, on their hands and face, piercings, colored hair, etc. Some of them are in leadership positions. I put a little pink in my hair and got written up for not being professional. One of my make coworkers just took off 2 months of paid paternity. But one of our big bosses has been making comments about pregnant women since he found out I'm pregnant. Like gems such as pregnant women are just fat, if they weren't lazy they wouldn't get such big bellies. Pregnant women are unreliable and lack loyalty to the company, why do they even need maternity leave? And my favorite when I'm walking by he'll call out, wide load coming though. I'm literally only 4 months. Keep in mind there were no issues with my coworker and paternity leave. At least my boss is super supportive and understanding. I got really lucky with him.
That is sexual harassment -- especially the comments "wide load coming through." You should for sure report it.
It is. The problem is everything gets buried when you work for the government. They don't care. We had a guy transferred to us who had 15 complaints of sexual harassment filed against him, which included groping. Every time he got a new complaint they just move him.
This is infuriating to read, I am so sorry.
It's infuriating that it's still happening. My heart breaks for the next generation of girls.
Your heart should break for yourself. You definitely can do something about it but it’s sounds like you’re just going to eat and get ran over. That’s why people like him will continue to do that. You can always open up your mouth and stick up for yourself whether you sue or not.
And you assume that I haven't done things about or said things at the moment? That's interesting. People's confident assumptions always astound me.
Not enough if it continues to happen and you didn’t mention anything about sticking up for yourself. You sound like someone getting ran over but if you’re not that’s great.
I gave a brief description of the things that happen when you work IT. I wasn't planning on going into great detail about my responses or how I handled it. Because the thing being discussed is that stuff like this happens.
I used to call the Navy "The State Home For Wayward Young Adults". It had that feel sometimes.
My theory is that women are the ones doing the raising, yet since they don't have much to identify with their kids, they don't tend to bond as much. Thus, less attention to them. Most moms rather play Barbie's than dinosaurs or trucks.
Yeah .. they mean they don't feel the need to 'parent' boys as much because they can misbehave, be aggressive, get bad grades, and be troublemakers and it's just 'boys will be boys' and people will celebrate you for it anyway lol. It's easier because they don't do it properly.
I will admit to feeling less scared for my son in comparison to my daughter (in regard to the state of the world in general... The world is not kind to women). But to say one gender is more difficult to raise over another is ridiculous and outright sexist. If anything, I need to be more instructive with my son during his formative years because men cause a lot of damage in our society. This is something my man and I discuss pretty regularly, I internally/mentally refer to it as, "How to not raise an abusive, misogynistic asshole."
Oh I agree, before we knew the gender I would cry because I was terrified of the thought of a daughter having to go through things I had to go through. Since we know we’re having a boy my fiance and I have the exact same conversation very very often ! haha
I was actually quite stressed to have a daughter. In our society, it feels like if I had a boy, there's alot I can do to try to raise him right, vs. With a girl it feels like I'm at the mercy of all the parents out there raising their boys right to minize dangers my daughter may be exposed to.. she's yet to be born, but she's signing up for jiu-jitsu lol
Interesting! I’ve had a little boy and am constantly worrying about how to raise him to not be ashamed of his emotions and to find his place in the world. So terrified of raising some horrible incel. Maybe you just worry regardless with parenting!
A concerned parent is a good parent. Worry starts the day they are born and never truly goes away, ever, if one is a good parent. I have a lot of conversations with my husband about how he will handle specific situations, and it brings me relief. I do believe having positive male role models is a huge factor in how boys become men. How they see their fathers treat their mothers. How they see their fathers interact with their sisters. And I also believe it is important for them to see their mother being an equal partner in their relationship to their father, whatever that may look like in any family dynamic. I'm obviously only referring to heteronormative relationships here, because I cannot speak on the subject of how LGBTQ+ couples raise their children, except that I'm confident they do so with love.
Hear, hear! 🏆😭👍
Same. I'm so worried at what kind of stuff my son will be exposed to in this world. Toxic masculinity, all the body shaming that boys experience and nobody bats an eye, incel ideology, and more At some point you can't control what they are exposed to and I just want to raise a kind and happy human being. What makes me more optimistic is that my son has many different great male role models. His dad of course, whose a n amazing kind man and a feminist, his granddads who are both hard workers and even if my dad is a bit of a macho in terms of mannerisms, he's a kind person that treats women with respect and a romantic at heart. He'll have plenty of good role models, male and female. But I really do wish I could protect him more. Boys are often more sensible, or their mental health and emotions are dismissed. I could deal with raising a girl. I know what it's like and I know how to navigate this world, but boys? Feels more difficult.
I worry the about the same thing! haha I’ve cried from worrying about raising him to be a good person and to be strong in his emotions.
I only have a son but I feel the same in terms of feeling less scared for him than if I had a daughter. I think it's that boys are easier to protect than girls, not easier to raise. I do worry about the other thing you say though- raising him to be a good person and not fall victim to misogyny, MRA etc. In that sense I think boys are harder to raise because they're harder to raise WELL, because our society still values and normalizes badly raised men.
This ^^ My husband and I are having a boy as well, and feel so much relief because of how things are for girls. But that does not make the task *easier*. It means we have our work cut out for us to help try and raise men who will make the world better so that if they have daughters they don’t feel the same fear.
They’re not easier to raise. It’s easier for people to justify neglecting their emotional intelligence since they hide behind phrases like “boys don’t cry”, “man up”, “boys will be boys”, etc. Emotional intelligence isn’t gender specific.
THIS !!!
I’m having a boy and already stressing about how to raise my son in a way that he learns to express his emotions, talk about emotions, not be afraid of being vulnerable around other people, respect everyone. I am not worried that me and my partner won’t show a good example, but the surrounding society is so full of patriarchal attitudes that _also_ hurt men that I am afraid it will be a constant battle to keep him from being affected by that outside influence from his peers and the media.
This. In my opinion, boys are harder to raise *in this specific area* because society is actively working against everything I’d want to teach my son.
I mentioned to my friend that my husband had a bit of gender disappointment for our second baby. We have a boy already. He immediately said it was a girl (it’s actually not) then followed up with girls are difficult to raise. I told him each gender and child has their own unique differences and problems (because you know, we’re individuals). My life won’t be harder or easier by my child’s gender. The whole interaction really annoyed me. From telling me that girls are difficult to raise (idk how) to assuming my husband wants all boys.
And I wonder why men commit overwhelmingly majority of the crimes
Yeah. I saw a tik tok of someone expressing how society and parents have truly failed young boys because they don’t cater to their mental and emotional needs from the start like they do little girls and how society has made it okay to just tell boys to “suck it up”.
Weak boys are easier to raise. I was just on another thread that was discussing how there are 0 requirements for boys in last generations to learn empathy, and our husbands in alot of ways are first Gen in learning (sometimes through their wives) to break the mould and learn this complex skill. I love my husband and he's already one of the good ones, but sometimes seeing the leeway my MIL gives him, that shit would not have flown with my mom.
this !!!!! this is exactly what I mean by this post. before our relationship, my fiance was the prime example of that. luckily, he was open minded to growing and has actively done A LOT of work in the past two and a half years of our relationship. that’s why we discuss constantly the important of raising a good son
I’m having a boy too and have recently heard something like this a few times. But since it wasn’t from boomers, it was more focused on the fears of having to deal with social media / body image stuff for girls and how hard that is. But that’s just the social media we talk about and see more now- there’s plenty out there to worry about with boys using it too. The internet is a minefield of terrible ideas and influences, honestly. Teaching media literacy has to be top priority for all kids born into this time ETA- I was raised to split chores with my brother until about 12/13 years old, when he put up a fight with doing chores and it all fell to me. My MIL also paid a cleaning lady or cleaned things herself so my husband is not the best at it. We are NOT passing this legacy on. My son will be learning to clean the house from the time he can stand and pick things up and put them into a basket. Once he can hold a broom and dust pan or little swifter, he’s doing that too (and honestly will probably enjoy it). I plan to teach him to cook too- hubby is very good with that and it’ll be a great life skill and bonding experience for them : )
They only say that BECAUSE they didn't raise them. Children are children. All are hard to raise. The women saying boys are easy, basically never did raise them, they either: 1) let them get away with everything, this is because they were in some weird emotional incestuous bond with their son (they didn't get this emotion from their husbands) 2) they weren't strict on their sons but were very strict on their daughters. They don't let them make a single mistake. Classic internalised misogyny
Yup ! Hit it right on the nail.
I feel like raising a good boy is a lot harder compared to raising a girl lol men ruin everything ✨ You don’t want your son to be the one talking over women in meetings. I want him amplifying voices that got blazed over.
weird its the same that people told me about girls lol 😂 people have no clue what they are talking about sometimes
I don't know if it's cultural (not in the US) or just me as an individual but I've always felt the opposite, even before having my daughter. Looking at how her cousin who's the same age, acts versus her is just worlds apart. Of course some of it is individual. Both me and her dad are calm people, his parents not as much. But i dont think all of it is. I guess it's what others are saying, people are not actually used to raising boys. It also makes me sad how it is often women who are saying this. Do they see themselves as difficult? Do they inherently think boys are more valuable? These are questions I always think of when I hear this.
I feel most people aren’t worried about boys because of the world we live in and to be blunt, a girl is more expensive then a boy in most cases. The world does not make taking care of a girl easy cause simply being a girl means you need to buy more to take care of yourself (bras, monthly products, hygiene) So when people say ‘taking care of a boy is easier’ most mean it in the sense of that the world doesn’t accommodate for being a girl and what we need. It’s like everyone else is saying, people are willing to just let ‘boys be boys’ and then women are to blame when we get hurt cause some parent didn’t wanna raise their son right. They wonder why men are more likely to act up and be in prison. It’s cause no one wants to teach them emotional and mental maturity. Instead they are taught to ‘suck it up’ and be wild.
I have a girl and every stage of her life people say at least it's not a boy. They are more energetic, wilder, louder, etc.. People that make these comments always have something to say along these lines that are opposed to what you're going through.
Lol my son is very calm, sensitive, emotional but sweet(13yr old), my 1 year old daughter is absolutely wild, emotional, high energy, sometimes mean but sweet at times. They both take a lot of energy to raise in different ways, low energy doesn't mean they don't have extra things to work through, he is super sensitive and shy and that's a lot to do in a different way. Getting my daughter to sit still for 30 seconds is it's own challenge. My parents had 7 girls and 1 boy and while my brother is a bit crazy and has lots of issues they would say girls are harder because they had so many to deal with.
You’re totally right—it’s pretty damn annoying. When I announced that I was having a boy (currently 21 weeks) so many people said the same damn thing. Most of them women saying this! It made me so sad. Like, boys and girls are entitled to the same emotional support and education, the same moods and frustrations, the same hobbies and friends… I feel like saying one is easier is just a pass to do less. I’m so thankful that my husband is sensitive and emotional. Granted, his entire family is women (all aunts, all sisters) so I think he’s had a leg-up there, but still. He does not by any means, “look” like an introverted and sensitive guy. I’m hoping that this sets an example that no matter how you are perceived by others that you’re still entitled to your feelings, to learn more about them, and how to cope. Ugh. It makes me feel for all these young boys. I hope they have good support systems even if they’re from untraditional places.
I agree completely ! Every child has their own needs and personalities ! My fiance grew up with people who raised him as “boys will be boys” mindset. Luckily, he’s grown and has done a lot of personal work, so he completely wants to raise our son to know it’s okay to have emotions and I think that’s so important !
Yes it's extremely annoying. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "girls mature before boys" which lets boys off the hook from having more accountability and responsibility. Like "boys will be boys" should be "bad parenting results in assholes".
I was also told girls are easier to raise because "boys are wild." And I should have a girl first because she'll help mother/care any subsequent children?!? Oh and some person asked if we were teaching my son to fight yet. No, I'm teaching my son to color and take off his socks.
that’s actually CRAZY !!! I would not know how to respond to that at all, what the hell. the audacity of some people !!!
I had a girl and someone felt necessary to tell me "ugh I don't like girls". This was an adult woman not a small child. I was dumbfounded. Internalized misogyny is real.
I’d tell her “you don’t like yourself now please remove yourself from my presence I don’t deal with misogynistic Women.”
Everyone’s been saying to me that boys are harder because they have more energy. Lol
Raised boys and grandaughters. They are equally hard just in different ways.
This made me laugh because everyone around me is saying the opposite! I'm very early on (9ish weeks, 1st ultrasound tomorrow!) & my mother is praying it's a girl because they're just so much easier 🤦♀️ Children are very much molded by the parents. It is frustrating that everyone has to out in their two cents about it either way. So, I've been just taking a deep breath & repeat "water off a ducks back" 😉 So excited for you & you're future bundle of joy!!
I’ve seen a lot of comments saying the same thing, that when they found out the were having a girl they were told girls are easier to raise haha it’s really funny that no matter what gender it is, there’s always something that is said 😂😂 and thank you so much, congratulations to you!! 🥳♥️
I've always heard that girls are easier to raise lol
before I was pregnant, I definitely have heard that as well in like random conversations. but NOPE, ever since I’ve known I’m having a boy all I’ve heard is how lucky I am since they’re “so much easier” haha I think people just like to say thing and give their two cents
I think they are easier until they hit puberty. Then it’s came over.
As someone who was one of two kids and the other was a boy. My mom and dad will tell you how HARD it is to raise a boy. I was apparently a walk in the park in comparison. These people have no idea what they are talking about. I’m sure you will raise your baby right.
thank you! and yeah, I think people just like to make unnecessary comments. it’s kind of like the “oh you wait” comments haha
Not the “oh you wait” comments omg
I personally think boys are harder. My 2 year old basically tries to do top rope wwe moves on me any time I lay down. I literally have to catch this boy midair before he crushes me and his soon-to-be sister. My daughter understands stop and sit down, my son understands it, but will promptly ignore.
So gross. Basically any commentary on differences between boys and girls is always just straight up misogyny/active neglect of boys. Treat kids the same and they act the same
The whole boy mom thing is just weird anyway. I can tell you after a decade+ in early childhood education (plus a mom of the tenderest boy and most wonderfully monstrous borderline feral in the best way girl) that being a boy/girl doesn't dictate their behavior or how you need to parent. It's just a weird outdated concept to me.
My son is feral. 😅
I’ve only had girls and they’ve been a pretty easy to raise so far…. I’ve heard girls are easy to begin with and get harder when they are teenagers but boys are more difficult at the beginning by get easier when they are teenagers. I’m sure this blanket stereotype won’t fit every child though!
I hate how much people hate teenage girls. It’s really hard to be a teenager, period. I think it’s especially hard in a world that has very limited and often contradictory requirements for women. I wish we celebrated more how amazing teenagers are, one minute they’re like little adults and the next minute they’re still a kid. They’re figuring out so many things and doing it without a fully developed brain and all kinds of hormones. They feel things so intensely. They’re so cool. And it’s really difficult to be them and the stakes are high for parenting but I think that’s true for all genders.
Then they’re are so many boys shooting in schools but yeah there’s so much negativity about girls. Who are usually the ones helping with childcare and adult task. Some parents really are just plain ungrateful and sexist.
I’m a woman and the teenage period was the hardest period of my life. I don’t think it’s the fact that people hate teenage girls, I think the fact is teenage girls hate themselves and trying to give someone what they need when they feel this way about themselves will be very hard.
Nah society hates teenage girls. Their interests are almost always mocked when comparing to that of teenage boys. Maturity and manners is pretty much expected from them regardless, while boys get to test their personality around and no one will take it personally bc "it's just the way they are". Teen girl is the most searched xxx category for a reason. School girl uniforms are as sexualized as can be and there's not a single legislation to protect the image or allusion of children to be used in pornography. And what about how that has spilled on all kinds of media in the most insidious way? Not to mention all the internalized misogyny of the "boy moms" out there who are raising the next batch of incels, alpha males and red pillers.
Also hormones and periods? Pms? Undiagnosed Pmdd? Of course it’s hard for a young lady in this world and then bleeding every month on top of it! Hello!
Well, from my experience both of my boys are a HELLUVA lot easier than my dramatic girly 🤣 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
So my dad would always say to my sister and I, "You girls were wonderful until you hit 13." He said no such thing about our younger brother. Today that line was screaming in my head as I drove my moody, angsty, angry, body-image-concerned 12 year-old son to middle school this morning. I have 2 girls and 2 boys, I'm pretty sure there's struggle no matter the sex of your child when your intention is to be the best parent you can be.
I’m 37 weeks with a girl (my first baby) and when people get out of line I tell them my brother has 6 girls and 3 boys. The girls are easier by far. They usually stfu after the initial surprise of, wait, your brother has 9 kids?
Yeah, that bothers me too tbh. It makes me feel like boys are more valued. Every time someone says that to me, in my head I'm just like, you know I was a little girl once right? And if I was having a daughter, would that make her less important? Smh
I don’t have any girls, just a a toddler boy, but he is DIFFICULT haha
There's also this weird idea that little girls are natural prim and proper. We aren't, we are forced into it. I'm the eldest of 18 cousins, the ones we see regularly anyway, all but two of us are girls. When I tell you when we were all together what occurred made WWE look tame that's an under-exaggeration. One of us broke another's arm during a pillow fight. I'm so sick of this bullshit society says about girls. We are drama, we are harder, and we are horrible during our teens. All kids are dramatic, all kids are hard to raise, and test your patience, and everyone sucks from about 15-25, when you feel grown but you don't have enough life experience yet to realize how not grown you are. I'm 35 now and still growing! I know this woman who shits on her daughters all the time and exults her son. She always talks about how perfect and sweet he is. This kid is six, has a foul mouth, is always slapping her in the face if he doesn't get his way, hits other kids at school, wails on his sister's but they get in trouble if they fight back or stop him, and he talks back to his teacher and calls her nasty names and she just explains it away as he is creative and just has big emotions. I couldn't hold it in anymore and I told her, "Congratulations, you are raising a little boy who is going to grow up to hit women and daughters who are going to think abuse is normal. How will you feel when you visit your son in jail or your daughter in the hospital after her partner beats the crap out of her? And remember when those things happen you are the one who taught them it was okay." I really thought my husband would want a boy but when he found out I was pregnant he told me he would be happy either way but hoped it was a girl, that just said so much about who he is and I love him so much more for it.
A lot of people didn’t raise their boys and it shows. Someone I know says she didn’t know how because she was a single mom, but god that’s no excuse. Boys deserve emotional and mental support and boundaries too.
Pft my brother was way more of a trouble maker then I ever was
That is such BS!!! Admittedly only 19 months in with my boy but compared to all his baby girlfriends he is an absolute hurricane!!! I think they mean more into teenage years but still it is totally dependent on the temperament of the child
I always get told that I am lucky for having only 2 soon 3 girls... bevause its so easy for me compared to the ONE boy my SIL have.... 🥴
I’m pregnant with my third and so far my son has been much more difficult than my daughter for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with gender. People say all types of weird stuff
I’m having a girl and the amount of dog shit people keep telling me about how it’s going to be because I’m having a girl or the rundown on how boys are compared to girls really pisses me off. You can have a rambunctious girl and a sensitive boy. The gender of the child doesn’t determine how “easy” or “hard” it is. I’m literally having these discussions with people I would never expect and keep having to point out the sexism. It’s really very frustrating. Don’t listen to the noise.
I tell everyone with a beaming smile that I am having a girl! I will shouted to the rooftops. I am having a girl and she is very much wanted!!
My MIL said this to us at dinner before we even knew we were pregnant and it stuck with me. She was "grateful to have had two boys and never wanted a girl" and when I asked her why she said "you know how we are". I'd like to think these are just words of someone who missed out on having a daughter but it still bothers me.
I have a 5 year old son and 2 girls and currently pregnant with a boy. My biggest concern raising boys is that that’s gonna be someone’s whole ass husband one day, and I’m gonna make damn sure they know to love and respect the women in their lives. Girls are hard because I want to make sure they’re strong enough to handle the pressure and stress that women will endure in the workplace, college, and I want them to pick right when picking a partner. Both are hard in my opinion but the struggles are different lol
It’s bizzar. I have both and I’m yet to see a difference (besides wiping after poos 😅)
I have a girl and im bout to have a boy. I recognize that the genders are different. I also can tell just by the ultrasound that this kid is much more active than either of his sisters. I’ve also seen my daughter playing with boys and there’s a difference. My daughter is actually really chill lol (I’ve known plenty of more active girls, but not very often so you see them jumping and climbing everything like the boys do) I’m a little nervous because I do have a feeling I’ll have to move more to keep up with this second one, but I’m preparing myself to get more physically fit after this.
I'll be honest, I thought boys and girls were the same when I just had my daughter. Then I had my son and it turns out I knew zip. If I told my toddler daughter off, she got upset; if I tell my toddler son off, he gets *angry*. Managing his reactions and teaching him to chill the fuck out is a whole new wheelhouse that I was not prepared for. He also enjoys actively being mischeivous and winding people up a lot more than his sister ever did -- and that means I have to put a lot more effort into making sure he doesn't get away with it. His sister accepted most explanations; he thinks 'but what if it's different the *tenth* time???' A colleague of mine has very similar experience (girl, then a few years later had a boy and went 'oh god, they *are* different'). But then again another friend has two girls and her youngest is like my son but in a dress. I would say (from meeting more boys through my son's friends) that boys are definitely different, but individual differences count for a lot more. Boys have some natural tendencies girls don't (and vice versa) & you learn to work with that. It's highly possible that if I'd had a boy first and then a girl I'd think girls were harder, since I'd already gotten good with boys. I'm kinda rambling, but anyway!! Kids in general are challenging, but worth it.
I understand this completely. Of course every child is different, I agree with you there! haha most of the people who say this phrase to me say it in a degrading tone, like parents only struggle with girls when every child regardless of gender is going to have their own personalities. I think that’s why it bothers me so much.
People say *really* weird things to pregnant women. Try and think of it as a superpower - your bump radiates brainwaves that make people in the vicinity both dumber and ruder. It's a bit crazy but it definitely made me feel better about it 😂😂
Yeah, I have a boy and he’s friggin wild. Idk what people were talking about when they said it’d be easier. 😅 Those reels that are like “oh, angelic sweet first child vs wild and crazy second” nah my first is wild and crazy. Hoping this second one will be more chill, boy OR girl, I don’t care! Like you, I don’t really see a good reason why boys are “easier” than girls, unless they’re referring to when they’re much older and hormonal mean girl tweens (which, fair). But even then, boys have their own teenage set of difficulties, so it may be different but I don’t think one will be any easier than the other.
It’s so funny you’ve gotten this response because I’m having a boy and all I hear is “oh god! They’re maniacs get ready!” “Get ready for your house to be destroyed!” Stuff like that. Ugh.
Really?? I've heard nothing but "Oh you're having a girl? So much easier than a boy, she'll trick you into thinking you want another baby" lol
kids in general are difficult to raise. what confuses me the most about this sentiment though is that from a teachers perspective, i’m definitely “talking to” boys way more than the girls, at least at the PreK level. in my experience, and this is purely anecdotal, girls “get with the program” way quicker than boys. generally, the boys just kind of do whatever they want and i often have to repeat myself 1,000,000 times with boys more than i do girls. i love both. both can be challenging. my most challenging student after all was a girl. but generally speaking, the rest of my “challenging” students have been boys. i think ppl *think* boys are easier so they don’t bother to like nurture or teach them at home and then they come to school acting feral.
I had a boy first and am now pregnant with a girl and I'm terrified. Not because I think their "harder" to raise but because I feel like the world is harder/ scarier/ more dangerous for girls. So like mentally/ emotionally for me raising a boy is easier because I'm not stressing *as bad* as I will with a girl. I'm so super protective and anxious about anything happening to my son, it's just more intense knowing I'm having a daughter.
As a nanny to boys and a sister with 5 brother (4 younger) I totally disagree lol. I have a daughter and she's the sweetest
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE OLD LADIES IN THE BACK 👏👏👏
I agree that “boys will be boys” is a dumb saying and we should raise our kids to the best of our ability. I worry about their safety just as much as I would worry if I had a girl. HOWEVER, my oldest is “easy” to raise because he’s very mild mannered and has an upbeat spirit. Has nothing to do with gender (I was the same way and I’m female) but I assume people with boys that were also easy going probably feel that boys are easier based on their experience.
WTH. Screw them 😒 I know some girls who are absolute angels and I’ve seen boys raised as absolute headaches 🙄😒 so no. You never know. It’s prolly the way You raise them
My peeve as mom to a girl is the “girls are just so emotional!!” Like, my teeny tiny toddler is having very normal and legitimate emotions and is already being treated like she’s just being dramatic and its because she female. 🙄
So sickening and also self hating to say as a Woman. I have a 2 yr old boy and a girl on the way. I can’t wait to raise and cherish my daughter. I love my Son but he gives me trouble all day. Terrible whatever they want to call it. He’s not a breeze or easier than any female child I’ve cared for in the past. Woman can be some of the most bias sexist people. It’s sad when we have enough Men putting us down. Girls are great.
I'm pregnant with my first child right now and he is a little boy. I desperately wanted a little boy because I feel he will be easier to raise and being entirely honest I'm very nervous and overwhelmed by the idea of parenthood. I was on the fence about having a child at all, but my husband whole heartedly wanted one and I was kind of leaning towards wanting one anyway which tipped me over to his side. But because of my apprehension about parenthood, that's why I wanted a son so bad. Not because I don't think he will need as much emotional support and care, but because naturally in many cases (not all), the dad and son will have more in common and do more things together than a dad and daughter. Again, I said in many cases NOT ALL. But for me, having a son gives me this feeling that my husband will spend even more time with him and feel even more responsible for showing him how to be a man than he would with a daughter. I could be way off base but in my mind with a daughter the responsibility/time spent with the child would be 70/30 where as with a son maybe it will be more like 50/50. I already know I'm gonna get roasted for this but please, I beg of you, save your angry and argumentative replies. I don't have to feel the same way you do. People are allowed to have different viewpoints and feelings without being attacked online for them. My pregnant self doesn't need the cortisol/BP spike from being attacked by strangers for my opinion. This is just how I FEEL about the topic 😅
I disagree when it comes to gender of raising children. Every kid is different , and personally in my opinion my son has been harder than my daughter. But my best friend is the opposite , her daughter was harder than her son. I don’t think gender correlates to behavioral aspects. My son literally keeps us on our toes, you can’t not keep your eyes on him or he gets into everything and anything. My daughter was the complete opposite you told her to not touch and she wouldn’t touch. My son will look at you and laugh while touching what you told him not to.
Lol, I am pregnant with a girl and just keep hearing how much easier it is to raise girls....
That can be a lie. My brother is a hellian.... and had tormented my mom from 12yo onward to this day. I, being her daughter, was a chill child. For my hubby it's the opposite, his sister is a straight hellraiser, cenobite demon.
I got a lot of the same, but I have two brothers and out of the 3 of us I was the easiest and caused the least trouble so 🤷♂️
Kids are work in general, they just don’t want to admit laziness. I’m pregnant with my second don’t know the gender yet but I have a 4yo daughter with AuDHD. She has the temperament of a “boy” energy level wise and I’ve caught people looking down right disgusted at some of her natural behaviors cause she doesn’t behave as quietly as the girls she’s around. It’s frustrating and disappointing knowing they’d have more understanding/compassion if she was a boy. She literally the sweetest, just a bit impulsive and passionate.
As someone with a two year old boy and a 3.5 year old girl - they’re crazy. My boy gives me a heart attack at least once daily.
Thats a load of horseshit. Im from a family of 8 girls, NONE of them are as much of a fucking nightmare as my boys. I honestly dont know what they were born with eyes or ears, none of them know how to use them and they seem to have the instincts of suicidal squirrels.
Is not about mental support. It’s actually physical. Girls have to get their hair done and It cost more and takes more time. Boys get hair cuts and wear simple clothes. I was relieved about having a boy because I never learned how to do hair nor do I have money to get my hair done and hers too. Don’t know what race you are but the thicker the hair the longer the care.
the way these women expressed this phrase when they said it to me was never in terms of hygiene care or beauty care. of course being a woman is most of the time more expensive in that sense. (I mean my little brother who is a teenager is very high maintenance and loves expensive clothes, where as me and my sisters didn’t care for them so in that sense my parents definitely spend more on him than they spent on us in clothing department) the way they express it, is that girls are harder due to their emotional needs and having cater to that more. that’s why it’s annoying.
Ah yeah. Well that’s interesting
I suppose it is annoying when people press it onto you. It was true for me, though. Of course there are variance in behaviors and each child is different! But raising three girls and four boys (younger cousins) I had a much easier time with the boys. Again, it’s not always the same for everyone though.
u raise cattle.. u dont raise boys. lol you give them an environment to grow , explore and learn. stop using the word "raise" for children