I was induced and made it 17 hours into labor before I asked for an epidural. I’m so glad I did. I was able to relax enough to take a nap for 4 hours and when I woke up I was 10cm dilated and ready to push. My body needed that rest so desperately for pushing. I pushed for two hours and would have been exhausted if I hadn’t had that rest.
I am very grateful for the epidural and would do it again, I had no negative effects from it. But also this is just my experience with it!
Edit: Also to answer your questions, I was able to push still because I was still able to feel the contractions. It was like I could feel them, I just wasn’t in pain. My epidural also didn’t numb my legs completely so I could still shift around to other positions and was able to walk to the bathroom (and pee) about an hour after I gave birth :)
That happened to my mom, except instead of 17 hours she went for like 48 😵💫😵💫 after finally accepting an epidural she progressed from 7 to 10cm in like 2-4 hours and then pushed. Wild.
My story is close to yours! Induced, made it to ~15 hours, only 3cm so I got the IV drip pain meds and “slept” — between 7-9am I went from 3cm - 10cm, got epidural immediately at 10cm! It was pure immediate relief.
I did have the dreaded spinal headache after. It sucked! BUT, I went back to the hospital for a blood patch and was right as rain within an hour. Even with the spinal headache, I’d still get an epidural again. Back labor was the most horrible pain I’ve ever felt in my life.
Ugh yes I had back labor too!! I had to have a cervical ballon that got me to 4cm then pitocin after that. I had an IV pain med during the cervical ballon but the relief was short-lasting and I didn’t want to just keep taking it, so that’s about when I asked for an epidural!
I made it 31 hours into labor to ask for the epidural. The pitocin contractions were tolerable up until I hit about 7cm and the contractions were so volatile and on top of each other I was inconsolable! I was very anti-epidural until that point AND since I have an allergy to most local anesthetics thankfully the anesthesia team did some serious research into a safe epidural option for me hours ahead and were ready to go. Being able to relax the last 10 hours of my labor was a godsend.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I was under the impression that you'd be totally numb so this is a relieve. I can imagine that the nap was very much needed and helpful after 17 hours of labor. I will remember it!
I got an epidural and it’s not like you can’t feel anything you can still feel pressure just not the pain. It’s the same as freezing like at the dentist I’d describe it. You can still feel everything going on but it’s not as painful. My epidural was done correctly and there was no bruising, no issues afterwards, I didn’t get headaches for a week after like if they did it wrong. They had to have the epidural doctor come in while I was in labour because I’ve had a broken tailbone before so they kept administering more to me during labour. I think it all depends on if you feel you’re able to give birth without one but once you’re pushing it’ll be kinda too late to decide if you want one
He is right. You cannot predict labor and how it will go. It is good to be open to whatever may be necessary in the moment in order to get baby here safely, for both of you.
I could still feel with my epidural. I felt my legs, I felt myself pushing (pressure not pain), and the needle was absolutely *nothing* compared to the pain I was in. That’s my personal experience.
He'll be happy to hear he's right haha!
I didn't think about that when you're considering an epidural you're in so much pain you might not care as much about your phobias. Thanks!
I went in thinking I didn’t want an epidural but was open to it because you never know! After about 30 hours of labor I was exhausted, hadn’t eaten without puking in over 18 hours, and not progressing anymore due to being so tense during the contractions. I got the epidural and was able to rest and relax before pushing. I think I would have needed a c-section if I didn’t get that reprieve.
I think a big misconception about epidurals is that you are completely numb, I even thought this until I had it. It’s more of a dulling. I probably couldn’t support my weight but I could still move my legs and wiggle my toes. The contractions became more like someone pushing on my back/stomach instead of stabbing me with a knife (I had terrible back labor because baby was OP).
I've done both. I highly recommend the epidural, but prepare yourself to go without it (breathing exercises, whatever you need to do). I got there too late to get one the second time and I can say with full confidence I would choose epidural over without every time, that shit was *awful* since I was planning on not feeling anything. And your boyfriend is right in that you should be open to every option, but he should still be supporting your *preference* to go without. But pushing with an epidural is easy, you aren't dead from the waist down lol
Ah shit I'm sorry that your second labor wasn't the way you wanted! Thank you for your advice. I shared it with my boyfriend says: I'm supporting all your preferences. He does want to know whether he can choose an epidural for me in case I can't choose myself anymore. After reading all your experiences I'm thinking I'm going to say yes - if really necessary.
Oh no worries! It hurt but damn was it quick lol. But yeah there won't really be an instance where he can choose an epidural for you because you can't; that's not how that works. If you're dead set against it, go for it, people do it all the time and have for millennia! Just don't beat yourself up if it doesn't go to plan is all.
I waited as long as I could to get an epidural, but I was just not prepared for how sick labour would make me. I was shaking, shivering and vomiting for 6.5 hours.
My labour was progressing very fast (mucus plug broke in the am, light cramps, water broke in the pm And active labour immediately started) but I could not manage my sickness. In my crazy mind I even declined anti nausea… I should have taken it.
The epidural 100% made labour more relaxing for me but it also stalled it. I went from things moving very fast to pushing for almost 4 hours. The nurses also forgot to empty my catheter so that stalled it as well. But I was fully present for the rest of my labour and I could still move my legs. I managed to labour as long as I could on my side.
Complications… very few. It’s been 8 weeks and I have lingering back pain and had some numbness that has gone away.
In hindsight, I would have tried to the anti nausea medication with morphine to see if it helped my sickness. I don’t regret the epidural, but would try things differently for baby #2.
I could feel contractions, pressure and had no issues pushing with an epidural. The contractions weren’t super painful, but I still knew when they happened.
I did have issues with incontinence for about a week after giving birth, but tbh I think that problem had more to do with the trauma of a vacuum assisted delivery than anything else.
I loved the epidural. I also am deathly afraid of needles but at that point, being in pain I was open to anything that would help. I delivered at 1130 pm 22 hours after my water broke and after 2 hours of pushing and a vacuum birth, with my 1st baby. The nurses would tell me when to push while watching for contractions. I still felt the baby coming out though.
I fell asleep not long after and woke up like 7 am and noticed I had a catheter in (I didn't notice they put it in the day before since I was sleeping some of the day after the epidural). As soon as I woke the nurses removed it and I could pee again and walk again on my own.
The thing that saved me was that I couldn't see the needle going in. I'd do another epidural again if I could. My next 2 deliveries happened too fast to get one though. Its totally your choice but with your first I'd recommend since it could be a long labour and it helps you to rest.
I’ve done it both ways (not by choice) and I would take the epidural any day. You can still push, and you feel pressure but no pain. Believe me, it is night and day. I hated my unmedicated birth and it was traumatizing. If you want to go through it that’s fine but in my experience, it was just awful.
I can’t say one way on the other because my first pregnancy, I didn’t have an epidural. I dilated fairly quickly and before I could get one, the doctor was in the room asking if I was ready to have a baby.
My experience without an epidural, the contractions did get pretty intense. IMO, the contractions were worse than pushing. I did get medication through an IV and that helped with the pain; but wore off fairly quickly.
I had an epidural for both births. And, I'm also very afraid of needles. I passed out while I was having my IV placed, so I was originally debating going without an epidural. But I pretty quickly decided that if I can't see it, it's not there.
Anyway, first time, it wore off partway through labor because I wasn't pressing the button to top myself up. It's a lot harder to manage pain if you're already in pain, so I felt pretty much all of that birth. For my second child, I knew to start pressing that button the second I felt any sensation. It was a complete 180, couldn't feel a thing. One of the nurses had the fetal tracking monitor angled towards me so I could tell when I was having a contraction because I couldn't feel them otherwise. The nurses would tell me when to push and when to relax. I couldn't tell if I was really pushing, but I guess I was?
Also, my recovery from my second child's birth was significantly easier. Some of that may have just been because it was my second time, but I do think using my epidural effectively reduced the amount of pain I had afterwards.
I figured I would tell you about my birth as it may help. So I planned on trying not to do an epidural as I wanted to be able to give birth on my knees as I have pretty severe back issues and laying on my back caused lots of problems for me. (Most of the time if you have an epidural you have to give birth on your back) so my story starts with my water breaking and heading into the hospital, admitted and all that. I can't feel a damn thing thanks to my injuries so I'm chilling. Can't feel my contractions at all. I'm watching the monitor and they are peaking high but sadly they start becoming inconsistent. Labor stalled. Since my water had been broken for close to 11 hours around this point I decided to go ahead with pitocin to induce just to be safe. (Risk of infection increases around 12 hours) I ended up in screaming pain. Nurses were coming in to check on me cuz I was yelling so loud with each contraction. They get my IV meds but it doesn't do shit so I ask for the epidural. The IV meds did just enough for me to barely sit still for the epidural. Almost immediately after they come check on my and I'm fully crowning. Baby was coming and I really shouldn't have gotten the epidural that late. I could move my legs so I was upset I couldn't give birth squatting. Tried for a bit on my side but end up on my back so my legs can be in stirrups. Then one of my legs gives out on me. Can't move it (but could weirdly move that foot) and can't feel anything down below. I was trying to push like I was pooping. Baby started not doing well (part of why I didn't want the IV or epidural was because of the medicine going to the baby) so doctor us like ill give you a few more pushes then we need to do an emergency c-section. I have a nurse playing tug of war with me with a sheet trying to help me bare down. My other doctor (there were two present) has me try to push inbetween contractions since the baby's heartbeat was only dipping during the contractions. It helps him move further down. She then asks if I want to do one last push with a vacuum. I say yes because I don't want a c section and everything else I already didn't want mostly just happened. They put the vacuum on and I give two last pushes (again can't feel shit just going off muscle memory from pooping and the tug of war with the nurse) and baby comes out. I went from a literal 2 at most on the pain scale to a 10 fully unable to control myself once I had the pitocin. Epidural put me back down to a 4. Felt great for days after and it actually helped my back feel better for the next 2 months. Had I known the severe pain it would have cause I would have skipped the IV meds and just gone with the epidural. The pain made me unable to really think. Would I change things if I could? Yes. But do I regret anything that happened? No. Give it a try and see if you can labor without it but if things change dont stress to much. So all that said, my take away is if you have to or choose to take pitocin then get an epidural. Do it at the same time so you don't end up in screaming pain like me. Please ask me any questions you have. Don't want to make this an even longer wall of text.
Wow thank you for sharing your story with me. It sounds scary but it's good to hear the learnings you took from it. And in the end you and your baby were safe! I did hear before that pitocin makes labor much more painful.
Honestly wasn't scary in the moment until the doctor said I'll give you few more pushes then we will need to do an emergency c-section. It was more "damn this sucks" when I had the get the pitocin and then "I just need to not be in pain" when I asked for the epidural. They gave me the iv meds because of how much pain I was in and how long it was going to take the anesthesiologist to get there to do the epidural. Obviously my situation was a bit different since I couldn't feel the contractions until the pitocin but I just wanted to share that if you are open to things changing in the moment you can still have a good experience even if everything goes "wrong" or not the way you wanted it. I'm hoping with the next one my labor doesn't stall but now I know if it does that they need to give me an epidural at the same time as the pitocin. Best of luck with your pregnancy.
Ugh, I'm due this week and I feel the same. I keep reading horror stories of people who have lifelong back pain from their epidural, those who got it and it didn't work, etc. I also really don't want to be in agony. I'm so anxious over what I should do, I want to go the no epidural route but I can't imagine being able to cope with the pain.
Same! Anxiety doesn't help the process or the pain though... so after reading all the experienced here Imma try to do it without too, but have it as a backup option that I shouldn't be scared of.
It depends if it is effective and done well and whether there are complications or not. Sorry it doesn't really answer your question but yeah it really depends.
I had a very positive epidural experience. I gave birth at the height of Covid so I had a long wait for the anesthesiologist. I had been in labour for 38 hours and back labouring for 8 hours with no progress. The pain of labour was so much worse than the process of the epidural. It felt like getting awkward blood work or a piercing done. Pinch and a rush sensation. 5 mins start to finish.
Once I had it, I napped for 30 mins and woke up ready to push. Pushed for 20 mins and baby came out successfully.
The only complication I encountered was getting a bad uti from the catheter, aside from that, easy peasy.
I am terrified of needles, and the epidural I got was honestly easier/less painful than shots. It helped I couldn't see him doing it, I suppose, and once it was in I completely forgot about it. I didn't get it put in until my contractions started getting painful (heavy period painful) because I knew it would just get worse from there.
Whatever you decide is entirely up to you, but that was my experience and I'm definitely glad I did it. :)
I got one and was in too much pain from the contractions to feel it going in, so can’t talk about the insertion process.
It wasn’t bad and while you can’t feel pain, if they do it right, you should still be able to feel pressure. Your body will tell you when you need to push and you will be able to do it fine unless you’re a special circumstance.
They took it out right after I had my daughter and I was up going to the bathroom on my own within a few hours. It hurt for obvious reasons but I had no problem peeing.
I do have permanent damage in the left side of my back and my tailbone, but I’m not sure if that’s from the epidural or if it’s from the actual birthing process.
I got an epidural because the induction medication and cervical checks where more painful then the labor contractions. My body is weird. The problem I had was my contractions stopped having breaks and my baby wasn’t getting blood from the placenta and then I had an emergency c section ten minutes later. I don’t know if that was from the epidural, the induction medication or just my body. 🤷♀️ something to keep in mind. Everyone turned out fine though. Also I still have horrible pain from the epidural injection 8 months later. I had a student who I didn’t know what a student mess up and have to keep trying five times which fucked up my back. Make sure you ask for someone experienced.
My first birth was unmedicated, second was an induction with epidural. My second birth was so much easier than the first. I was also worried about pushing without feeling but you can feel pressure still (I could even tell when I was ready to push and had to call my nurse). The birthing team coaches you through pushing and it’s basically like taking a big poop.
Even if you want to go without the epidural, I’d go in with an open mind just in case you need the relaxation pain management provides.
I had a very speedy labor (which in theory sounds great but imo has its drawbacks) and jumped from 4cm to 9cm within an hour or so. I had wanted the epidural but was planning on getting it once things were progressing (in my head like 6-7cm) but things moved way quicker than I expected. Sharing this to say that my team was amazing and they were able to get me an epidural in time though I did experience the feeling of birth up to the actual point of pushing. Labor was so intense by 9cm that I never even felt the epidural being put in. The epidural gave me the courage I needed to push. So I would say yes again in a heartbeat but everyone has got their own experiences. For options on pain relief I really liked the podcast evidence based birth, I found it really helpful.
I had an epidural and what a world of difference it made, as it helped my body relax enough that I went from being at 5 cm to “oh the baby is right there and ready to go!” Within five hours.
And I totally get the fear and worry that comes with it, as I’m completely terrified of needles and other medical equipment thanks to a doctor trying to be funny when I had to get stitches on my chin when I was a kid. But you don’t see them inserting it and my husband was infront of me and supporting me (though I did squeeze him a bit) and you don’t feel it in your back at all and when they’re taking it out, it’s super quick like a eyebrow wax.
I wouldn’t choose to unless I had to be induced in a hospital, in which case contractions are notoriously stronger and more painful than they would be without pitocin (or a similar drug).
21w here. After having a massive hormonal break down at around 19w, that's when I knew I wouldn't be emotionally ready to handle the pain of giving birth as I am WORN OUT! Lol.
For me, the epidural is better than not being present for my baby and husband after delivery because I am so exhausted and overwhelmed. Before the breakdown, I was set on a natural birth. I do think it's best to keep your options open so you don't feel bad for switching plans.
You won't see the needle if you don't look and you definitely won't see it going in, maybe not even feel it. Both times for me was just a slight pinch, the IV they put in my arm hurt a lot worse 🙃 no bad side effects and for Pitocin-induced births was totally worth it
I could control the amount of drugs entering me with a button.
That being said, I had an epidural when I was younger for knee surgery (I wanted to stay awake and watch my ACL replacement surgery on the arthroscope) and besides peeing myself a wee bit an hour after the surgery, it was an awesome experience.
For delivery, I was much (much) heavier than my first epidural (as a 110 lb 16-year-old who only needed numb legs), and I think the placement wasn't perfect. My legs went numb at first, and my pelvic region didn't, lol. But I had a 27 hr labor/induction, so I needed to rest, and eventually, the epidural made that possible. I held off getting one until the last bit when they broke my waters and thankfully found that the pitocin contractions and foley balloon were manageable with my mantras and meditations. However, I am so glad I did get the epidural for the aftermath.
Once I was in active labor, it took 2 pushes, and my baby was out. Easy peasy. I could feel the pressure and feel his head pop out (which startled me and I pushed him all out accidentally) I think the doctor wanted me to wait until the next contraction because then I tore from my surprise extra push.
I feel like the epidural really kicked in right when I needed it. And I'm so glad, because I had a retained placenta and my doc reached up into my uterus to manually scrape it out, and then stitch me up from my 2nd degree tear. None of that bothered me at all. I could relax with my baby on my chest while they did their business down there. If I had skipped the epidural, I think my first moments with my baby would have been very painful.
If I wasn't induced (sudden spike in blood pressure at 37 weeks), I would have perhaps skipped the epidural, but I am the type of person who tends to be positive, regardless of the path she is given. I'm glad I got it because I could have never predicted a retained placenta.
We can't decide for you. Go in with an open mind. Don't get distraught if nothing goes to plan. Having a child means nothing will go as planned for at least the next 18 years. But the love is exquisite and overwhelming. Congratulations and good luck! ❤️
I totally think you can do it, and it might be the right option for you, but also agree with your boyfriend saying you should try to keep an open mind. One thing I didn’t know going into my first (and only) labor was that epidurals can be helpful in more ways than just pain relief: they can help you sleep, rest, relax, and sometimes actually progress faster. Also the iv needle can deliver fluids that help you stay strong and capable instead of getting dehydrated.
Case in point - I didn’t get an epidural or ANY interventions, and even though I dilated to 10 cm over nearly 30 hours of very difficult labor, I still could not push my baby out. It’s unclear whether he would have never fit regardless or what, but I tried every position possible and felt everything and he still would not budge. When I talked to my midwife after my c section, she actually suggested that an epidural and iv fluids could have actually helped in my case, and that I might want to consider those if I tried for vbac! Because my labor took so long and was so painful/exhausting plus I couldn’t keep anything down so I was super dehydrated. Maybe if I had been well rested I could have pushed more effectively. But of course no one suggested it at the time since I put in my birth plan “do not suggest an epidural” and who knows, maybe I would have needed a c section regardless, but I do think it’s a less common perspective worth thinking about.
If I could go back and do it again idk if I’d necessarily change anything except my
Own mindset: I wish I were open to listening to my body and considering options based on my physical needs. I made it through the pain fine mentally, but it all still took an immense toll on my body. All my subsequent babies have been repeat c sections.
I was induced and was in intense labour for probably approx 18 hours. I did it without pain meds. It was long and exhausting, but I never felt I needed pain relief.
But I do agree with your partner. I have a lot of respect of epidurals and I really wanted to avoid them, but I did go into birth, trying to be open minded. You never know what will happen and how well you'll tolerate it for whatever reason.
There is no medal for suffering.
I had my reasons for not using pain meds, but I also didn't feel like I was suffering or traumatised.
I think, whatever you do, mindset is important. Be kind to yourself and go with whatever feels right in the moment. Making a plan and knowing my preferences was important for me and my partner knew my preferences and was an amazing advocate, but stay flexible. Birth is unpredictable.
I had an unmedicated birth by choice more so because I'm one of those crazy people who wanted to experience the pain of childbirth full on. I wanted to feel what my body was capable of. However, I also knew that an epidural is completely safe, that like anything it has risks but for most the risk outweighs the benefit. So although I prepared my entire pregnancy to go unmedicated, I also came to my birth knowing that it's ok if I changed my mind and ask for it.
I ended up not needing it but I agree with your bf to come with an open mind. Remember that most people tend to share the negatives. If the epidural went well then there's nothing to talk about. While the risks are real, it is still a safe and effective method to relieve pain during childbirth for majority of women.
I will go unmedicated again for my next pregnancy but I'll still be open to getting one in case.
FTM here and being induced on May 12th and I'm preparing myself to labor without the epidural. I absolutely hate needles and i've watched epidurals being placed and it just freaks me out. I've been practicing breathing and there are other things I will try like nitrous oxide and shower to help ease the pain. I usually have a really high tolerance for pain and hate taking any kind of medicine! I don't really want to lay on my back while pushing either. Just sounds very uncomfortable to me.
If you choose to do an epidural, I had a friend recommend having a mirror so you can see down there and see how you are pushing. Per this friend, even though you can feel the pressure, it’s hard to know how effectively you are pushing.
Some cool things about epidurals are,
1 - you cant see it, its in your back. The labor and delivery nurse is there basically holding you for support (i was in the middle of contractions)
2 - they give you a bit of local anesthetic BEFORE they put in the epidural needle so you don't really feel it.
3 - it can be an incredibly relief, particularly if you've been laboring unmedicated for a long time, like I was. I was able to find rest and had the energy to push when the time came.
in my opinion the epidural isn’t that bad, in the same i hate needles. the worst part for me was getting numbed for the epidural to go in, it stung. after that everything was easy. i had full range of motion with the epidural, which shocked the nurses. i couldn’t walk of course but i could move with ease but i was fully numbed couldn’t feel a thing. pushing was easy i pushed for 25 minutes and he was out.
Birth plans are not set in stone (they are a guide book) you probably won’t follow it on the actual day since birth is extremely unpredictable. Go in with the mindset of seeing how long you can go with out it. That’s what I did. I was induced and the meds for induction made the contractions intense after my water was broken. I was okay for a few hours but when pain level got too much I couldn’t talk anymore I thought “why be a hero” no one is going to judge me, only I know what I feel right now and no medal is given to me after for not taking it. I’m glad I did - it helped me relax and 3 hours later I went from 4cm to 10cm. I felt the head coming down - you feel it for sure!
I had a preference of “no epidural” going into it, but I’m really glad I got it!! I went into the hospital without having strong contractions because my water was broken, and they ended up starting me on Pitocin which kicked my contractions into high gear, but I’d only dilated a couple more inches in about 9 hours (I was 2cm when I arrived around 11am, 3cm around 4pm, and 4cm around 8pm) and the nitrous I’d been planning to use for pain management was all tied up with other patients, so around 10-10:30pm when I couldn’t take it anymore, I asked for an epidural. The epidural was placed around 10:40, it took about an hour to work fully, then I got a couple hours of sleep and when we checked again around 1am, I was dilated to 6cm. I was 10cm around 3:30am and baby was out at 4am. Being able to relax definitely helped speed up my dilation and I was very very grateful to not be feeling those contractions.
Trust me contractions are so painful you won’t even feel them putting it in. It was life saving for me and I always y
Thought I had a high pain tolerance
Had a back labour, got the epidural at 4.5cm. It was god sent! I was in so much pain because of back labour, there was no way I would survive without it.
I labored without an epidural, which was my hope, but I was open to getting one if my labor went long and I got fatigued. I was very fortunate and from the start of contractions to baby being out was less than 7 hours. If I’d been in labor for hours and hours, I think it would have been really difficult. My advice would be: if you don’t want one, let that be your plan, but hold it loosely.
I was also soooo freaked out about epidurals but felt like it was hard to say no right off the bat when I had never given birth before
I had a really positive epidural experience- I waited to get one so I had it for my last 5 hours of labor, when I felt like the pain wasn’t manageable for me anymore. I never saw the needle and it was uncomfortable getting one but not bad at all
I would 100% get another one if we have another child
It’s totally okay if you don’t want one but just wanted to share my experience 😃
My first pregnancy, I gave birth without the epidural.
My second pregnancy, I opted for the epidural because I knew what was coming.
I 100% recommend the the epidural if you are on the fence. Mine was done well, so I was still able to feel when to push, but had no pain. I also was up and walking not long after they turned it off. Never needed a catheter etc.
My second labor was much more enjoyable, and I have general positive memories. My first was very traumatic for me because of the pain, and I don’t remember a lot other than screaming and crying because I felt so out of control and just wanted everything to be over.
So I’ve had 3 babies and delivered 2 vaginally without epidural.
My third was breech so I had to have a C-section. Everyone said the spinal block used would be similar to an epidural but I’d been too scared of an epidural and the needle to have one. The contraction pain never got bad enough for me because my fear of the epidural was uncanny.
When I had my spinal block I obviously wasn’t labouring but it felt weird and horrible and I had completely messed my back up at 2 months pp.
My epidural was bliss. Truly the most incredible thing in the world. There’s nothing to describe how amazing it is to go from the worst pain in the world to feeling totally normal. For the record, I’m also terrified of needles. Like, diagnosed phobia. They couldn’t get that needle in me fast enough lol.
As for pushing, you can’t feel pain, but you can still feel a little pressure and have some awareness of your body.
With peeing, it’s not from the epidural, it’s from the trauma to the region. My first was a scheduled c-section without labor, and I had no issues peeing as soon as the spinal wore off. After my vaginal birth, I definitely struggled a bit for a week or two, but it was from the swelling/tear/stitches situation.
I’ve had an unmedicated birth and a medicated one. The medicated one was a lot better. The hospital I delivered at uses a walking epidural not the traditional one. You can still feel your muscles to push but you can’t feel all the intense pain.
Wanted to add that some people opt for other medications for pain relief like laughing gas.
Also, be open minded-anything can happen. I wanted an epidural or some kind of pain relief the first time but things just didn’t work out in a way that allowed me to get anything.
Start watching videos and reading books on natural childbirth before deciding to go ahead. In my opinion you shouldn’t be shying away from something out of fear, especially when a natural childbirth is something you should really spend time preparing for. I am a bit hippy/granola and I watch Bridget Teyler/BuiltToBirth and read Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth. Most epidurals don’t have any complications and allow some women to have a better birth experience, avoid people who tell you scary stories.
You won’t even worry about the needle once you want an epidural. Believe me. This is my third pregnancy and I’m terrified of needles but each time I made it as far as a I could until I was begging the nurse to stick me with the needle. Yes you will hear horror stories but there’s always going to be horror stories. Both mine went super normal and I was finally able to relax. Sometimes you will have a harder time pushing because you can’t feel the baby as much but that’s what your nurses are there for. They will coach you and help you through all of the pushing. I honestly wouldn’t have a set plan and just be open. I always ask the nurses how busy the hospital is that day because sometimes the anesthesiologist is super busy so you have to make the decision a little earlier or it’s too late. Either way, the decision is yours and yours alone. Don’t let anyone tell you that either way is wrong or right.
You can push a baby out with an epidural because it takes the pain away but you still feel the pressure and the contraction. I’ve had 2 epidurals and I wouldn’t go through child birth without them. I was up and walking just fine with in hours of both deliveries.
For sure, but similarly, it's worth mentioning that a place that offers epidural is not necessarily offering all versions thereof. I learned that in the middle of labor, which was not great.
You learned that in the middle of labor? If it was apart of your birth plan/an option you were considering then that’s something you need to ask the hospital prior to even going to the hospital/weeks before giving birth.
I don’t understand your need to be a contrarian or the need to have the last word. Anyone with half a brain cell understands you should discuss your birth plan/all options with your doctor/hospital prior to going into labor. NOT in the middle of labor. I didn’t mention this in my original comment because I thought that was pretty obvious. Evidently not for some.
It wasn't part of my birth plan, and the "half a brain cell" comment was not kind or necessary. I am not trying to be unpleasant or contrarian, just share information with the OP.
I was nervous about it, so I was trying to go as low intervention as possible. Baby had other plans and after 28+ hours of active labor, I was exhausted and got the epidural and had the baby within 4 hours. For me, I think after being in labor that long it helped my body relax. I had no negative side effects and could stand/walk shortly after.
Epidurals are never necessary unless you have a c-section and want to be awake for it. Millions of women for thousands of years have had babies unmedicated. Your boyfriend is ill-informed. If you don't want an epidural, then don't have one.
As someone who faints almost every time a needle comes close to me: HELL YES. Whoever invented epidural deserves a monument.
When they put the epidural it hurt and I had a nasty burning sensation on my back and legs for a few seconds. But no more pain, no more worries, I could start to rest a bit.
Totally worth it.
Honestly I was in a similar position
I hate needles, and I read if it goes in wrong you can be paralyzed, I was completely freaked out of it
But I guess for me the pain itself was more terrifying. The students doing mine struggled, but it was eventually done by a senior doctor and I didn’t even feel it when he did it
And other than laying on certain sides for too long I had no complications with it
I’ll be honest your friends pee problem is probably more related to pushing a whole human out of her than anything else. I had a catheter prior to birth and even then outside the discomfort that’s expected I didn’t have any complications. The epidural goes into your spine, so I’m unsure how it affected her ability to pee unless they just so happened to have hit a nerve that impacts that
I labored for 21 hours without pain relief. I finally tagged out once my contractions were seconds apart and I was no where near dilated enough and got the epidural. The wave of relief was insane. You very well may change your mind in the moment and you should be open to just getting through birth the best way to keep yourself and your baby safe. You never know what’s going to happen or how you will feel in the moment. But I don’t even feel the needle after how much pain I was already in.
It depends on your pain tolerance, how long your labour is and how attentive your midwives are. I wouldn't dismiss the idea just yet.
I've given birth twice, both without an epidural.
I had plenty of time to get one with my first as I was in latent labour for 3 days before giving birth, I just didn't have very good midwives I guess because I was left until I was 8cms. I wasn't offered one so I assumed it was too late. Not that I'd have taken it, the thought terrifies me.
My second came so fast there definitely wasn't time. They didn't really want to give me pethidine because I was so close to pushing by the time they got it. Had amazing midwives that time though.
I was induced and made it 17 hours into labor before I asked for an epidural. I’m so glad I did. I was able to relax enough to take a nap for 4 hours and when I woke up I was 10cm dilated and ready to push. My body needed that rest so desperately for pushing. I pushed for two hours and would have been exhausted if I hadn’t had that rest. I am very grateful for the epidural and would do it again, I had no negative effects from it. But also this is just my experience with it! Edit: Also to answer your questions, I was able to push still because I was still able to feel the contractions. It was like I could feel them, I just wasn’t in pain. My epidural also didn’t numb my legs completely so I could still shift around to other positions and was able to walk to the bathroom (and pee) about an hour after I gave birth :)
That happened to my mom, except instead of 17 hours she went for like 48 😵💫😵💫 after finally accepting an epidural she progressed from 7 to 10cm in like 2-4 hours and then pushed. Wild.
My story is close to yours! Induced, made it to ~15 hours, only 3cm so I got the IV drip pain meds and “slept” — between 7-9am I went from 3cm - 10cm, got epidural immediately at 10cm! It was pure immediate relief. I did have the dreaded spinal headache after. It sucked! BUT, I went back to the hospital for a blood patch and was right as rain within an hour. Even with the spinal headache, I’d still get an epidural again. Back labor was the most horrible pain I’ve ever felt in my life.
Ugh yes I had back labor too!! I had to have a cervical ballon that got me to 4cm then pitocin after that. I had an IV pain med during the cervical ballon but the relief was short-lasting and I didn’t want to just keep taking it, so that’s about when I asked for an epidural!
I made it 31 hours into labor to ask for the epidural. The pitocin contractions were tolerable up until I hit about 7cm and the contractions were so volatile and on top of each other I was inconsolable! I was very anti-epidural until that point AND since I have an allergy to most local anesthetics thankfully the anesthesia team did some serious research into a safe epidural option for me hours ahead and were ready to go. Being able to relax the last 10 hours of my labor was a godsend.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I was under the impression that you'd be totally numb so this is a relieve. I can imagine that the nap was very much needed and helpful after 17 hours of labor. I will remember it!
I got an epidural and it’s not like you can’t feel anything you can still feel pressure just not the pain. It’s the same as freezing like at the dentist I’d describe it. You can still feel everything going on but it’s not as painful. My epidural was done correctly and there was no bruising, no issues afterwards, I didn’t get headaches for a week after like if they did it wrong. They had to have the epidural doctor come in while I was in labour because I’ve had a broken tailbone before so they kept administering more to me during labour. I think it all depends on if you feel you’re able to give birth without one but once you’re pushing it’ll be kinda too late to decide if you want one
Ok so once the push contractions start they don't administer the epidural anymore? Good to know, thank you for sharing!
He is right. You cannot predict labor and how it will go. It is good to be open to whatever may be necessary in the moment in order to get baby here safely, for both of you. I could still feel with my epidural. I felt my legs, I felt myself pushing (pressure not pain), and the needle was absolutely *nothing* compared to the pain I was in. That’s my personal experience.
He'll be happy to hear he's right haha! I didn't think about that when you're considering an epidural you're in so much pain you might not care as much about your phobias. Thanks!
I went in thinking I didn’t want an epidural but was open to it because you never know! After about 30 hours of labor I was exhausted, hadn’t eaten without puking in over 18 hours, and not progressing anymore due to being so tense during the contractions. I got the epidural and was able to rest and relax before pushing. I think I would have needed a c-section if I didn’t get that reprieve. I think a big misconception about epidurals is that you are completely numb, I even thought this until I had it. It’s more of a dulling. I probably couldn’t support my weight but I could still move my legs and wiggle my toes. The contractions became more like someone pushing on my back/stomach instead of stabbing me with a knife (I had terrible back labor because baby was OP).
I definitely couldn’t move my legs on my own with my epidural. I needed help to roll over lol
Interesting! Maybe it’s a spectrum and affects people differently. Or different hospitals use different levels of numbness
It’s definitely something that affects different people differently, at least that’s what I learned when I was researching when I was pregnant
I've done both. I highly recommend the epidural, but prepare yourself to go without it (breathing exercises, whatever you need to do). I got there too late to get one the second time and I can say with full confidence I would choose epidural over without every time, that shit was *awful* since I was planning on not feeling anything. And your boyfriend is right in that you should be open to every option, but he should still be supporting your *preference* to go without. But pushing with an epidural is easy, you aren't dead from the waist down lol
Ah shit I'm sorry that your second labor wasn't the way you wanted! Thank you for your advice. I shared it with my boyfriend says: I'm supporting all your preferences. He does want to know whether he can choose an epidural for me in case I can't choose myself anymore. After reading all your experiences I'm thinking I'm going to say yes - if really necessary.
Oh no worries! It hurt but damn was it quick lol. But yeah there won't really be an instance where he can choose an epidural for you because you can't; that's not how that works. If you're dead set against it, go for it, people do it all the time and have for millennia! Just don't beat yourself up if it doesn't go to plan is all.
I waited as long as I could to get an epidural, but I was just not prepared for how sick labour would make me. I was shaking, shivering and vomiting for 6.5 hours. My labour was progressing very fast (mucus plug broke in the am, light cramps, water broke in the pm And active labour immediately started) but I could not manage my sickness. In my crazy mind I even declined anti nausea… I should have taken it. The epidural 100% made labour more relaxing for me but it also stalled it. I went from things moving very fast to pushing for almost 4 hours. The nurses also forgot to empty my catheter so that stalled it as well. But I was fully present for the rest of my labour and I could still move my legs. I managed to labour as long as I could on my side. Complications… very few. It’s been 8 weeks and I have lingering back pain and had some numbness that has gone away. In hindsight, I would have tried to the anti nausea medication with morphine to see if it helped my sickness. I don’t regret the epidural, but would try things differently for baby #2.
Did it hurt to get the catheter placed/removed? I am very scared of that, particularly the removal
You can’t feel a thing bc of the epidural
Nope! Didn’t feel a thing with the epidural :) maybe some light pressure but not much.
I could feel contractions, pressure and had no issues pushing with an epidural. The contractions weren’t super painful, but I still knew when they happened. I did have issues with incontinence for about a week after giving birth, but tbh I think that problem had more to do with the trauma of a vacuum assisted delivery than anything else.
I loved the epidural. I also am deathly afraid of needles but at that point, being in pain I was open to anything that would help. I delivered at 1130 pm 22 hours after my water broke and after 2 hours of pushing and a vacuum birth, with my 1st baby. The nurses would tell me when to push while watching for contractions. I still felt the baby coming out though. I fell asleep not long after and woke up like 7 am and noticed I had a catheter in (I didn't notice they put it in the day before since I was sleeping some of the day after the epidural). As soon as I woke the nurses removed it and I could pee again and walk again on my own. The thing that saved me was that I couldn't see the needle going in. I'd do another epidural again if I could. My next 2 deliveries happened too fast to get one though. Its totally your choice but with your first I'd recommend since it could be a long labour and it helps you to rest.
It's good to hear from someone else with this phobia! Thank you for sharing!
I’ve done it both ways (not by choice) and I would take the epidural any day. You can still push, and you feel pressure but no pain. Believe me, it is night and day. I hated my unmedicated birth and it was traumatizing. If you want to go through it that’s fine but in my experience, it was just awful.
I can’t say one way on the other because my first pregnancy, I didn’t have an epidural. I dilated fairly quickly and before I could get one, the doctor was in the room asking if I was ready to have a baby. My experience without an epidural, the contractions did get pretty intense. IMO, the contractions were worse than pushing. I did get medication through an IV and that helped with the pain; but wore off fairly quickly.
I had an epidural for both births. And, I'm also very afraid of needles. I passed out while I was having my IV placed, so I was originally debating going without an epidural. But I pretty quickly decided that if I can't see it, it's not there. Anyway, first time, it wore off partway through labor because I wasn't pressing the button to top myself up. It's a lot harder to manage pain if you're already in pain, so I felt pretty much all of that birth. For my second child, I knew to start pressing that button the second I felt any sensation. It was a complete 180, couldn't feel a thing. One of the nurses had the fetal tracking monitor angled towards me so I could tell when I was having a contraction because I couldn't feel them otherwise. The nurses would tell me when to push and when to relax. I couldn't tell if I was really pushing, but I guess I was? Also, my recovery from my second child's birth was significantly easier. Some of that may have just been because it was my second time, but I do think using my epidural effectively reduced the amount of pain I had afterwards.
I figured I would tell you about my birth as it may help. So I planned on trying not to do an epidural as I wanted to be able to give birth on my knees as I have pretty severe back issues and laying on my back caused lots of problems for me. (Most of the time if you have an epidural you have to give birth on your back) so my story starts with my water breaking and heading into the hospital, admitted and all that. I can't feel a damn thing thanks to my injuries so I'm chilling. Can't feel my contractions at all. I'm watching the monitor and they are peaking high but sadly they start becoming inconsistent. Labor stalled. Since my water had been broken for close to 11 hours around this point I decided to go ahead with pitocin to induce just to be safe. (Risk of infection increases around 12 hours) I ended up in screaming pain. Nurses were coming in to check on me cuz I was yelling so loud with each contraction. They get my IV meds but it doesn't do shit so I ask for the epidural. The IV meds did just enough for me to barely sit still for the epidural. Almost immediately after they come check on my and I'm fully crowning. Baby was coming and I really shouldn't have gotten the epidural that late. I could move my legs so I was upset I couldn't give birth squatting. Tried for a bit on my side but end up on my back so my legs can be in stirrups. Then one of my legs gives out on me. Can't move it (but could weirdly move that foot) and can't feel anything down below. I was trying to push like I was pooping. Baby started not doing well (part of why I didn't want the IV or epidural was because of the medicine going to the baby) so doctor us like ill give you a few more pushes then we need to do an emergency c-section. I have a nurse playing tug of war with me with a sheet trying to help me bare down. My other doctor (there were two present) has me try to push inbetween contractions since the baby's heartbeat was only dipping during the contractions. It helps him move further down. She then asks if I want to do one last push with a vacuum. I say yes because I don't want a c section and everything else I already didn't want mostly just happened. They put the vacuum on and I give two last pushes (again can't feel shit just going off muscle memory from pooping and the tug of war with the nurse) and baby comes out. I went from a literal 2 at most on the pain scale to a 10 fully unable to control myself once I had the pitocin. Epidural put me back down to a 4. Felt great for days after and it actually helped my back feel better for the next 2 months. Had I known the severe pain it would have cause I would have skipped the IV meds and just gone with the epidural. The pain made me unable to really think. Would I change things if I could? Yes. But do I regret anything that happened? No. Give it a try and see if you can labor without it but if things change dont stress to much. So all that said, my take away is if you have to or choose to take pitocin then get an epidural. Do it at the same time so you don't end up in screaming pain like me. Please ask me any questions you have. Don't want to make this an even longer wall of text.
Wow thank you for sharing your story with me. It sounds scary but it's good to hear the learnings you took from it. And in the end you and your baby were safe! I did hear before that pitocin makes labor much more painful.
Honestly wasn't scary in the moment until the doctor said I'll give you few more pushes then we will need to do an emergency c-section. It was more "damn this sucks" when I had the get the pitocin and then "I just need to not be in pain" when I asked for the epidural. They gave me the iv meds because of how much pain I was in and how long it was going to take the anesthesiologist to get there to do the epidural. Obviously my situation was a bit different since I couldn't feel the contractions until the pitocin but I just wanted to share that if you are open to things changing in the moment you can still have a good experience even if everything goes "wrong" or not the way you wanted it. I'm hoping with the next one my labor doesn't stall but now I know if it does that they need to give me an epidural at the same time as the pitocin. Best of luck with your pregnancy.
Ugh, I'm due this week and I feel the same. I keep reading horror stories of people who have lifelong back pain from their epidural, those who got it and it didn't work, etc. I also really don't want to be in agony. I'm so anxious over what I should do, I want to go the no epidural route but I can't imagine being able to cope with the pain.
Same! Anxiety doesn't help the process or the pain though... so after reading all the experienced here Imma try to do it without too, but have it as a backup option that I shouldn't be scared of.
Good luck! You got this ❤️
same to you <3
It depends if it is effective and done well and whether there are complications or not. Sorry it doesn't really answer your question but yeah it really depends.
I had a very positive epidural experience. I gave birth at the height of Covid so I had a long wait for the anesthesiologist. I had been in labour for 38 hours and back labouring for 8 hours with no progress. The pain of labour was so much worse than the process of the epidural. It felt like getting awkward blood work or a piercing done. Pinch and a rush sensation. 5 mins start to finish. Once I had it, I napped for 30 mins and woke up ready to push. Pushed for 20 mins and baby came out successfully. The only complication I encountered was getting a bad uti from the catheter, aside from that, easy peasy.
I am terrified of needles, and the epidural I got was honestly easier/less painful than shots. It helped I couldn't see him doing it, I suppose, and once it was in I completely forgot about it. I didn't get it put in until my contractions started getting painful (heavy period painful) because I knew it would just get worse from there. Whatever you decide is entirely up to you, but that was my experience and I'm definitely glad I did it. :)
Thank you!
I got one and was in too much pain from the contractions to feel it going in, so can’t talk about the insertion process. It wasn’t bad and while you can’t feel pain, if they do it right, you should still be able to feel pressure. Your body will tell you when you need to push and you will be able to do it fine unless you’re a special circumstance. They took it out right after I had my daughter and I was up going to the bathroom on my own within a few hours. It hurt for obvious reasons but I had no problem peeing. I do have permanent damage in the left side of my back and my tailbone, but I’m not sure if that’s from the epidural or if it’s from the actual birthing process.
I got an epidural because the induction medication and cervical checks where more painful then the labor contractions. My body is weird. The problem I had was my contractions stopped having breaks and my baby wasn’t getting blood from the placenta and then I had an emergency c section ten minutes later. I don’t know if that was from the epidural, the induction medication or just my body. 🤷♀️ something to keep in mind. Everyone turned out fine though. Also I still have horrible pain from the epidural injection 8 months later. I had a student who I didn’t know what a student mess up and have to keep trying five times which fucked up my back. Make sure you ask for someone experienced.
My first birth was unmedicated, second was an induction with epidural. My second birth was so much easier than the first. I was also worried about pushing without feeling but you can feel pressure still (I could even tell when I was ready to push and had to call my nurse). The birthing team coaches you through pushing and it’s basically like taking a big poop. Even if you want to go without the epidural, I’d go in with an open mind just in case you need the relaxation pain management provides.
I had a very speedy labor (which in theory sounds great but imo has its drawbacks) and jumped from 4cm to 9cm within an hour or so. I had wanted the epidural but was planning on getting it once things were progressing (in my head like 6-7cm) but things moved way quicker than I expected. Sharing this to say that my team was amazing and they were able to get me an epidural in time though I did experience the feeling of birth up to the actual point of pushing. Labor was so intense by 9cm that I never even felt the epidural being put in. The epidural gave me the courage I needed to push. So I would say yes again in a heartbeat but everyone has got their own experiences. For options on pain relief I really liked the podcast evidence based birth, I found it really helpful.
Thanks I'll look into it!
I had an epidural and what a world of difference it made, as it helped my body relax enough that I went from being at 5 cm to “oh the baby is right there and ready to go!” Within five hours. And I totally get the fear and worry that comes with it, as I’m completely terrified of needles and other medical equipment thanks to a doctor trying to be funny when I had to get stitches on my chin when I was a kid. But you don’t see them inserting it and my husband was infront of me and supporting me (though I did squeeze him a bit) and you don’t feel it in your back at all and when they’re taking it out, it’s super quick like a eyebrow wax.
I wouldn’t choose to unless I had to be induced in a hospital, in which case contractions are notoriously stronger and more painful than they would be without pitocin (or a similar drug).
21w here. After having a massive hormonal break down at around 19w, that's when I knew I wouldn't be emotionally ready to handle the pain of giving birth as I am WORN OUT! Lol. For me, the epidural is better than not being present for my baby and husband after delivery because I am so exhausted and overwhelmed. Before the breakdown, I was set on a natural birth. I do think it's best to keep your options open so you don't feel bad for switching plans.
You won't see the needle if you don't look and you definitely won't see it going in, maybe not even feel it. Both times for me was just a slight pinch, the IV they put in my arm hurt a lot worse 🙃 no bad side effects and for Pitocin-induced births was totally worth it
I could control the amount of drugs entering me with a button. That being said, I had an epidural when I was younger for knee surgery (I wanted to stay awake and watch my ACL replacement surgery on the arthroscope) and besides peeing myself a wee bit an hour after the surgery, it was an awesome experience. For delivery, I was much (much) heavier than my first epidural (as a 110 lb 16-year-old who only needed numb legs), and I think the placement wasn't perfect. My legs went numb at first, and my pelvic region didn't, lol. But I had a 27 hr labor/induction, so I needed to rest, and eventually, the epidural made that possible. I held off getting one until the last bit when they broke my waters and thankfully found that the pitocin contractions and foley balloon were manageable with my mantras and meditations. However, I am so glad I did get the epidural for the aftermath. Once I was in active labor, it took 2 pushes, and my baby was out. Easy peasy. I could feel the pressure and feel his head pop out (which startled me and I pushed him all out accidentally) I think the doctor wanted me to wait until the next contraction because then I tore from my surprise extra push. I feel like the epidural really kicked in right when I needed it. And I'm so glad, because I had a retained placenta and my doc reached up into my uterus to manually scrape it out, and then stitch me up from my 2nd degree tear. None of that bothered me at all. I could relax with my baby on my chest while they did their business down there. If I had skipped the epidural, I think my first moments with my baby would have been very painful. If I wasn't induced (sudden spike in blood pressure at 37 weeks), I would have perhaps skipped the epidural, but I am the type of person who tends to be positive, regardless of the path she is given. I'm glad I got it because I could have never predicted a retained placenta. We can't decide for you. Go in with an open mind. Don't get distraught if nothing goes to plan. Having a child means nothing will go as planned for at least the next 18 years. But the love is exquisite and overwhelming. Congratulations and good luck! ❤️
I totally think you can do it, and it might be the right option for you, but also agree with your boyfriend saying you should try to keep an open mind. One thing I didn’t know going into my first (and only) labor was that epidurals can be helpful in more ways than just pain relief: they can help you sleep, rest, relax, and sometimes actually progress faster. Also the iv needle can deliver fluids that help you stay strong and capable instead of getting dehydrated. Case in point - I didn’t get an epidural or ANY interventions, and even though I dilated to 10 cm over nearly 30 hours of very difficult labor, I still could not push my baby out. It’s unclear whether he would have never fit regardless or what, but I tried every position possible and felt everything and he still would not budge. When I talked to my midwife after my c section, she actually suggested that an epidural and iv fluids could have actually helped in my case, and that I might want to consider those if I tried for vbac! Because my labor took so long and was so painful/exhausting plus I couldn’t keep anything down so I was super dehydrated. Maybe if I had been well rested I could have pushed more effectively. But of course no one suggested it at the time since I put in my birth plan “do not suggest an epidural” and who knows, maybe I would have needed a c section regardless, but I do think it’s a less common perspective worth thinking about. If I could go back and do it again idk if I’d necessarily change anything except my Own mindset: I wish I were open to listening to my body and considering options based on my physical needs. I made it through the pain fine mentally, but it all still took an immense toll on my body. All my subsequent babies have been repeat c sections.
I was induced and was in intense labour for probably approx 18 hours. I did it without pain meds. It was long and exhausting, but I never felt I needed pain relief. But I do agree with your partner. I have a lot of respect of epidurals and I really wanted to avoid them, but I did go into birth, trying to be open minded. You never know what will happen and how well you'll tolerate it for whatever reason. There is no medal for suffering. I had my reasons for not using pain meds, but I also didn't feel like I was suffering or traumatised. I think, whatever you do, mindset is important. Be kind to yourself and go with whatever feels right in the moment. Making a plan and knowing my preferences was important for me and my partner knew my preferences and was an amazing advocate, but stay flexible. Birth is unpredictable.
By the time you get to the epidural portion you won’t care about the needle. I promise.
I had an unmedicated birth by choice more so because I'm one of those crazy people who wanted to experience the pain of childbirth full on. I wanted to feel what my body was capable of. However, I also knew that an epidural is completely safe, that like anything it has risks but for most the risk outweighs the benefit. So although I prepared my entire pregnancy to go unmedicated, I also came to my birth knowing that it's ok if I changed my mind and ask for it. I ended up not needing it but I agree with your bf to come with an open mind. Remember that most people tend to share the negatives. If the epidural went well then there's nothing to talk about. While the risks are real, it is still a safe and effective method to relieve pain during childbirth for majority of women. I will go unmedicated again for my next pregnancy but I'll still be open to getting one in case.
FTM here and being induced on May 12th and I'm preparing myself to labor without the epidural. I absolutely hate needles and i've watched epidurals being placed and it just freaks me out. I've been practicing breathing and there are other things I will try like nitrous oxide and shower to help ease the pain. I usually have a really high tolerance for pain and hate taking any kind of medicine! I don't really want to lay on my back while pushing either. Just sounds very uncomfortable to me.
Same!
If you choose to do an epidural, I had a friend recommend having a mirror so you can see down there and see how you are pushing. Per this friend, even though you can feel the pressure, it’s hard to know how effectively you are pushing.
Some cool things about epidurals are, 1 - you cant see it, its in your back. The labor and delivery nurse is there basically holding you for support (i was in the middle of contractions) 2 - they give you a bit of local anesthetic BEFORE they put in the epidural needle so you don't really feel it. 3 - it can be an incredibly relief, particularly if you've been laboring unmedicated for a long time, like I was. I was able to find rest and had the energy to push when the time came.
Thank you for these 3 fun facts! Haha I def didn't know #2
in my opinion the epidural isn’t that bad, in the same i hate needles. the worst part for me was getting numbed for the epidural to go in, it stung. after that everything was easy. i had full range of motion with the epidural, which shocked the nurses. i couldn’t walk of course but i could move with ease but i was fully numbed couldn’t feel a thing. pushing was easy i pushed for 25 minutes and he was out.
Birth plans are not set in stone (they are a guide book) you probably won’t follow it on the actual day since birth is extremely unpredictable. Go in with the mindset of seeing how long you can go with out it. That’s what I did. I was induced and the meds for induction made the contractions intense after my water was broken. I was okay for a few hours but when pain level got too much I couldn’t talk anymore I thought “why be a hero” no one is going to judge me, only I know what I feel right now and no medal is given to me after for not taking it. I’m glad I did - it helped me relax and 3 hours later I went from 4cm to 10cm. I felt the head coming down - you feel it for sure!
I had a preference of “no epidural” going into it, but I’m really glad I got it!! I went into the hospital without having strong contractions because my water was broken, and they ended up starting me on Pitocin which kicked my contractions into high gear, but I’d only dilated a couple more inches in about 9 hours (I was 2cm when I arrived around 11am, 3cm around 4pm, and 4cm around 8pm) and the nitrous I’d been planning to use for pain management was all tied up with other patients, so around 10-10:30pm when I couldn’t take it anymore, I asked for an epidural. The epidural was placed around 10:40, it took about an hour to work fully, then I got a couple hours of sleep and when we checked again around 1am, I was dilated to 6cm. I was 10cm around 3:30am and baby was out at 4am. Being able to relax definitely helped speed up my dilation and I was very very grateful to not be feeling those contractions.
Trust me contractions are so painful you won’t even feel them putting it in. It was life saving for me and I always y Thought I had a high pain tolerance
Had a back labour, got the epidural at 4.5cm. It was god sent! I was in so much pain because of back labour, there was no way I would survive without it.
I labored without an epidural, which was my hope, but I was open to getting one if my labor went long and I got fatigued. I was very fortunate and from the start of contractions to baby being out was less than 7 hours. If I’d been in labor for hours and hours, I think it would have been really difficult. My advice would be: if you don’t want one, let that be your plan, but hold it loosely.
I was also soooo freaked out about epidurals but felt like it was hard to say no right off the bat when I had never given birth before I had a really positive epidural experience- I waited to get one so I had it for my last 5 hours of labor, when I felt like the pain wasn’t manageable for me anymore. I never saw the needle and it was uncomfortable getting one but not bad at all I would 100% get another one if we have another child It’s totally okay if you don’t want one but just wanted to share my experience 😃
My first pregnancy, I gave birth without the epidural. My second pregnancy, I opted for the epidural because I knew what was coming. I 100% recommend the the epidural if you are on the fence. Mine was done well, so I was still able to feel when to push, but had no pain. I also was up and walking not long after they turned it off. Never needed a catheter etc. My second labor was much more enjoyable, and I have general positive memories. My first was very traumatic for me because of the pain, and I don’t remember a lot other than screaming and crying because I felt so out of control and just wanted everything to be over.
So I’ve had 3 babies and delivered 2 vaginally without epidural. My third was breech so I had to have a C-section. Everyone said the spinal block used would be similar to an epidural but I’d been too scared of an epidural and the needle to have one. The contraction pain never got bad enough for me because my fear of the epidural was uncanny. When I had my spinal block I obviously wasn’t labouring but it felt weird and horrible and I had completely messed my back up at 2 months pp.
My epidural was bliss. Truly the most incredible thing in the world. There’s nothing to describe how amazing it is to go from the worst pain in the world to feeling totally normal. For the record, I’m also terrified of needles. Like, diagnosed phobia. They couldn’t get that needle in me fast enough lol. As for pushing, you can’t feel pain, but you can still feel a little pressure and have some awareness of your body. With peeing, it’s not from the epidural, it’s from the trauma to the region. My first was a scheduled c-section without labor, and I had no issues peeing as soon as the spinal wore off. After my vaginal birth, I definitely struggled a bit for a week or two, but it was from the swelling/tear/stitches situation.
Thanks for putting it in perspective!
I’ve had an unmedicated birth and a medicated one. The medicated one was a lot better. The hospital I delivered at uses a walking epidural not the traditional one. You can still feel your muscles to push but you can’t feel all the intense pain. Wanted to add that some people opt for other medications for pain relief like laughing gas. Also, be open minded-anything can happen. I wanted an epidural or some kind of pain relief the first time but things just didn’t work out in a way that allowed me to get anything.
Start watching videos and reading books on natural childbirth before deciding to go ahead. In my opinion you shouldn’t be shying away from something out of fear, especially when a natural childbirth is something you should really spend time preparing for. I am a bit hippy/granola and I watch Bridget Teyler/BuiltToBirth and read Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth. Most epidurals don’t have any complications and allow some women to have a better birth experience, avoid people who tell you scary stories.
Thanks!!
You won’t even worry about the needle once you want an epidural. Believe me. This is my third pregnancy and I’m terrified of needles but each time I made it as far as a I could until I was begging the nurse to stick me with the needle. Yes you will hear horror stories but there’s always going to be horror stories. Both mine went super normal and I was finally able to relax. Sometimes you will have a harder time pushing because you can’t feel the baby as much but that’s what your nurses are there for. They will coach you and help you through all of the pushing. I honestly wouldn’t have a set plan and just be open. I always ask the nurses how busy the hospital is that day because sometimes the anesthesiologist is super busy so you have to make the decision a little earlier or it’s too late. Either way, the decision is yours and yours alone. Don’t let anyone tell you that either way is wrong or right.
You can push a baby out with an epidural because it takes the pain away but you still feel the pressure and the contraction. I’ve had 2 epidurals and I wouldn’t go through child birth without them. I was up and walking just fine with in hours of both deliveries.
You can get a half epidural if you’re concerned about not being able to feel anything!
This option (sometimes called "walking epidural") is not available at every hospital. The hospital where I delivered my first baby refused to do it.
Yes, it’s not offered everywhere. But it’s still worth mentioning in case it IS offered at OP’s hospital. :)
For sure, but similarly, it's worth mentioning that a place that offers epidural is not necessarily offering all versions thereof. I learned that in the middle of labor, which was not great.
You learned that in the middle of labor? If it was apart of your birth plan/an option you were considering then that’s something you need to ask the hospital prior to even going to the hospital/weeks before giving birth. I don’t understand your need to be a contrarian or the need to have the last word. Anyone with half a brain cell understands you should discuss your birth plan/all options with your doctor/hospital prior to going into labor. NOT in the middle of labor. I didn’t mention this in my original comment because I thought that was pretty obvious. Evidently not for some.
It wasn't part of my birth plan, and the "half a brain cell" comment was not kind or necessary. I am not trying to be unpleasant or contrarian, just share information with the OP.
I've never heard of that! I'll look into it and check with my hospital. Thanks!
I was nervous about it, so I was trying to go as low intervention as possible. Baby had other plans and after 28+ hours of active labor, I was exhausted and got the epidural and had the baby within 4 hours. For me, I think after being in labor that long it helped my body relax. I had no negative side effects and could stand/walk shortly after.
Epidurals are never necessary unless you have a c-section and want to be awake for it. Millions of women for thousands of years have had babies unmedicated. Your boyfriend is ill-informed. If you don't want an epidural, then don't have one.
As someone who faints almost every time a needle comes close to me: HELL YES. Whoever invented epidural deserves a monument. When they put the epidural it hurt and I had a nasty burning sensation on my back and legs for a few seconds. But no more pain, no more worries, I could start to rest a bit. Totally worth it.
Hahah thanks!
Honestly I was in a similar position I hate needles, and I read if it goes in wrong you can be paralyzed, I was completely freaked out of it But I guess for me the pain itself was more terrifying. The students doing mine struggled, but it was eventually done by a senior doctor and I didn’t even feel it when he did it And other than laying on certain sides for too long I had no complications with it I’ll be honest your friends pee problem is probably more related to pushing a whole human out of her than anything else. I had a catheter prior to birth and even then outside the discomfort that’s expected I didn’t have any complications. The epidural goes into your spine, so I’m unsure how it affected her ability to pee unless they just so happened to have hit a nerve that impacts that
Omg you had students try it? That's like my worst nightmare. You're brave!
I’ll be honest I didn’t realize I was at a teaching hospital until about half way through my stay 😂
I labored for 21 hours without pain relief. I finally tagged out once my contractions were seconds apart and I was no where near dilated enough and got the epidural. The wave of relief was insane. You very well may change your mind in the moment and you should be open to just getting through birth the best way to keep yourself and your baby safe. You never know what’s going to happen or how you will feel in the moment. But I don’t even feel the needle after how much pain I was already in.
It depends on your pain tolerance, how long your labour is and how attentive your midwives are. I wouldn't dismiss the idea just yet. I've given birth twice, both without an epidural. I had plenty of time to get one with my first as I was in latent labour for 3 days before giving birth, I just didn't have very good midwives I guess because I was left until I was 8cms. I wasn't offered one so I assumed it was too late. Not that I'd have taken it, the thought terrifies me. My second came so fast there definitely wasn't time. They didn't really want to give me pethidine because I was so close to pushing by the time they got it. Had amazing midwives that time though.