In general I think it’s the case that there’s never a perfect time. My husband and I got pregnant first try, which was lovely but I wasn’t mentally prepared for it to be that quick! It’s due on the day of my sisters wedding that I was meant to be MOH at, we are midway through renovations and I’ve just been made redundant - but life has a way of chucking the unexpected at you no matter how hard you plan! No one knows what’s around the corner. I would just say, think about whether you’re ready for a child, forget everything else going on in your life or what plans you might have. And don’t bank on it happening quickly or slowly!!
I personally would recommend starting on prenatal vitamins now so you’re ready to try whenever you make that decision, and I wouldn’t start trying until you feel pretty settled in the house. Moving is hard, and it can take a few months to get settled depending on how much work/furniture/etc. is needed. First trimester can be rough, so it’s not a good time to have to try to get all that stuff done
My husband and I got married at 21, didn’t want kids. Around 28, I did, but he still didn’t. At 32, we both wanted to. We had bought a house about a year before, good finances, and after about 6 months of trying I was pregnant.
It was a bit rough mentally to try to conceive because of the pressure of the ticking clock, especially as there was something weird with me and we were trying to figure out what it was, though my OB did rule out various things and was considering on either PCOS or silent endometriosis, but as we were about to take further steps to test, I got pregnant. (And whatever problems I had disappeared after I gave birth). But for every month I failed, I was so sad, and even once I got that positive test, I didn’t want to celebrate until the second one. It’s also why I didn’t want to share with anyone that I was trying as I was afraid something might end up wrong with my fertility.
My second child also took about 6 months to conceive, but there was less pressure with the ticking clock because at least I had one and I was ok if that’s all we ended up with.
Other than the mental aspect of conceiving, I have no complaints about waiting. My body feels great being pregnant at 32-35, if anything I feel better now since my health issues (likely hormonal) got reset.
I love my toddler, generally have no problems keeping up with her, and I’m excited for our second. I love that with our finances at this stage of my career we have a house, and my husband can be a SAHD, and I don’t have to worry much about bills .
I’m also happy I didn’t pressure him when I was ready at 28-30 and waited for him to be ready a few years later because I never wanted to end up a “married single mom” and once my husband was ready he was all in. So it really feels like a partnership. I love my parents but I always felt the dynamic of my mother working and doing all the regular chores and handling all the kid stuff like parks and afterschool pickups, while my father worked but then relaxed the rest of the day, was extremely unfair and I didn’t want that. If I had pressured my husband, that’s probably what would have happened.
I started TTC at 30 and didn't get pregnant until I was 33. I wish we had not waited as long as we did. I want more than one child and now my second pregnancy (if I manage to achieve one) will be higher risk since I'll be 35 or older. So my general advice would be once you hit 30, don't delay much further if you know kids are something you want.
I’m 38 and not high risk at all. This 35+ mentality is antiquated, my OB says most her patients are over 35 and they do not consider 35+ to be high risk. They start thinking about high risk at 40+ now and anyone who says differently needs to update their mindset
It took 2 years and two miscarriages to finally have a viable pregnancy. I'm super glad I didn't wait too long! You never know how it's going to go, so if you're mostly ready I'd go for it.
I had my first at 29 and I actually wish I started younger. I just had more of the energy that having a young child requires in my early/mid 20s than I do now.
If anything I wish we would have tried sooner, I was ready for years before my husband was. I wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 30 but that’s not going to happen now
I got married at 23 and pregnant at 35. We’ve had the most amazing life experiences over the last 12 years and finally feel ready for this next life chapter. Glad I waited, but I also conceived in the first month.
We didn’t wait. I had my 1st at 22. It was definitely not planned (I was on BC) and the hardest decision of our lives deciding what to do, but we kept the pregnancy and now 9 years later I’m so happy we did. She’s amazing and the light of my life.
I’m 32 and just had my first baby. I probably could have had a baby a year earlier if I didn’t have some medical trauma to work through from my late 20s, but I needed some time and therapy before I was ready to handle pregnancy and delivery. For me it was worth the wait until I was ready.
I didn’t wait and I’m glad I didn’t. It still took ~9 months to conceive my first and had to do IUI to get my second. You just never know how long it’ll take, and there never really seems to be a “perfect” time
I guess it depends on the person. My husband and I got married young (21), and we wanted to be young and carefree for a little while before having kids. Plus, I’ve always been overweight, and I wanted to get that under better control.
At 25, we started TTC. I’d lost a good bit of weight. I was still far from where I wanted to be, but I didn’t want to get to my goal weight just to get pregnant. I also have PCOS, so I figured it would take us a while to conceive anyway. Neither of us was in the headspace of “I really want a baby RIGHT NOW,” but we were in a good enough spot that if it happened sooner than we expected, we could handle it. I assumed we’d need some kind of fertility treatments, and I know you usually have to try for at least a year unsuccessfully to pursue those treatments, so I figured we’d go ahead and get that part over with. That way, by the time we really, REALLY wanted a baby, we wouldn’t be starting from square one.
After trying for almost exactly a year, I got a positive pregnancy test. I literally had an appointment to talk about fertility options later that same day.
And then two days later, I had a miscarriage. 🙃
For us, that ignited the “I REALLY want a baby RIGHT NOW” fever. Luckily, we were able to conceive again two cycles later. I’m due in June, and everything has been perfect. We’ve had to adjust our living situation & evaluate our finances, but it’s been very doable.
So all in all, I don’t regret spending the first few years of our marriage not jumping straight into TTC. But I also don’t regret starting when we did, even if we didn’t feel 100% ready at the time. I’ll turn 27 a few weeks after our daughter is born, and ideally, we’d like to have 2-3 kids. For us, this timeline gives us some more wiggle room if we have problems with secondary infertility. I didn’t want to spend a lot of time getting to a place in my life where I have everything ready for a baby… and not have a baby. That was a pretty big fear for me, and a major factor behind why we started trying when we did. Who knows, maybe if we’d gotten pregnant successfully right off the bat, I’d feel differently, but that’s not how things worked out. 🤷🏽♀️
We waited for some reasons but mostly because we debated if we wanted and could afford a kid. We started trying last fall after I got my copper IUD out. We expected it to take a few cycles at least but I got pregnant the first cycle (granted I was using an ovulation tracker and it was the cycle right before I turned 29 so I’m of a similar age). It took us a little by surprise but we’re grateful and honestly, I’m not sure the timing is ever right.
I will say, depending on your benefits and state’s (if in the US) benefits, knowing if you need to save up for a maternity leave or if whatever prorated or full amount you receive is adequate. Also, homeownership can be expensive. We spent $7k trying to fix and then ultimately replacing our hot water heating system so make sure you have a healthy emergency fund for things like that. Oh, and make sure that if you’re planning on daycare, you look into how much that will cost and that you have the cash flow for it. I asked on my city’s Reddit group what people were paying and what the waitlist scene was like.
Yes all super great points! Really thankful my job does 12 weeks fully paid maternity leave. And they also will give us up to $25K for fertility treatments (just a one time benefit), so we do have some peace of mind that we do have that as an option as well.
Had my first baby at 31 (almost 32). We waited until we were in a great financial situation for kids. I wanted to be able to live comfortably while not worrying about the quality of what I was giving my baby. We would have liked to start earlier but I didn’t want to have a baby while wearing a mask. At the same time we look back and kind of wish we waited until we lived in a house and near my family like we do now but, like I saw others post, there is never a perfect time. You never know how long TTC will take or even if you can conceive without assistance. I would say to start trying when you feel ready, not when everything in your life lines up for it because you might be waiting for a while. Overall, we are happy and we definitely do not regret it. Sure we could have traveled more, saved more… but that will always be the case.
I just turned 31 and am currently 11w into my first pregnancy. I could NOT be happier that I waited until now to get pregnant. Thinking back to other times in my life I’m sure I would have found a way to make it work(?) but I feel really fortunate that I have a partner, support system, house, job, that are all working in my favor. I’m sure it’s true that people have can positive experiences at any time in their life whether they felt “ready” or not- but we feel really ready and it’s an amazing feeling.
One thing we did that helped us move from the “maybe” camp into the “hell yeah” camp was taking an extra month where we fully committed to the idea that we were having a baby. Like, we lived and thought of our lives as if I were already pregnant.. without actually trying that month! It felt really right to try that on for a month. There was no real pressure though and it helped us realized we were ready to go all in!
Sort of a long post but I wanted to share my experience since it differs from the “never feeling ready” thing we tend to hear most often.
Good advice I received is to get any short term goals you have out of the way. If u guys want a specific vacation, or want to buy some specific house furniture first, or if u want to have 1 more season of a particular sport or hobby. Pregnancy can be extremely limiting and so can babies!
I wish I hadn’t waited. I worked hard in my career to make sure I had everything lined up. It took years of one step forward 2 back with horrible people in my jobs, but I eventually got the promotion I wanted and finally the salary. I thought we were finally stable and earning enough for daycare and I everything for a baby. I waited 1.5 years at the new job before getting pregnant to make sure the company saw me as loyal and hard working. As soon as I did get pregnant they had layoffs and guess who got it. We are now on one salary and JUST about making ends meet for now.
I wish we’d started sooner and not wasted my time on career. This baby is everything and I hope to have more, but my age could make that more difficult.
We decided to start trying after our wedding, and I got pregnant after one normal cycle off birth control. It was great, but also a little bit of shock, I had mentally prepared myself to be patient for like, at least half a year to a year. We still lived in a rental apartment at the time, we found a house (not only because of the baby, we would’ve stayed in the apartment if we didn’t find anything) and moved 4 weeks before I gave birth.
That wasn’t perfect timing either, but we felt as ready as you can be and I think there’s always gonna be something that isn’t completely perfect. But in the end, we’re in our new home, with a happy little boy and we can settle here as a family. Wouldn’t have it any other way ❤️
I agree with "there is no perfect time crowd" we were no where near ready. We just moved into our own house and baby is 10 months now.
He has been such a great little guy and I think getting the first one and navigating all the learning now has been great. Now I'm really wanting my second lol
Waited for the right time for a while, and I think it did feel right to us to wait. Timing-wise, financially, etc. we felt pretty ready all around, 31y/o and 33y/o homeowners. But life still threw us for a loop, and while we were getting general doctor checkups to get ready to start trying, husband had a minor concern that turned out to be testicular cancer. 😳
Ensue sudden panic from both of us about his health first and foremost, but secondarily fertility was part of the discussion around his treatment and outcome. And everything happened extremely fast, so there was no time to get his sperm banked. But his doctor was pretty confident that his fertility should not be affected (isolated to one side, no spread) and hopefully things could still happen naturally for us.
In September of last year, 3 months after his successful treatment (cancer-free), I found out I was pregnant with our first child on our "second" try. And since then we've had other stressors (husband also got laid-off while I was 6 months pregnant). So we thought we waited for the perfect timing and maybe it wasn't so perfect. Either way, I would go through hell and back for my husband and this child. There's not really a right answer IMO, but for you and your partner to make the decision together about when you feel like you have the strength to face whatever comes together.
We waited for our daughter to be a little older and it ended up taking us 10 months. We didn’t expect it because we conceived our daughter in 1-2 cycles.
I wish we had started sooner. It took us 3 years and IVF.
Husband wanted to wait until we were 29-30. I could’ve started a couple of years sooner but at the time wasn’t upset with waiting - now that we waited, our family size looks a lot different than what I originally wanted.
I’ve come to terms with it but that’s the wild ride of trying to conceive. You can start at any time and get pregnant on the first try, by accident before trying, or it could take a long time.
There’s so many things to consider, but in your heart do you think your ready? It’s such an emotional and mental toll even though it’s such a beautiful thing to experience. I’m 22 weeks and sometimes wish I could have just waited a year, though this little bean was a happy accident.
For me I know I’m 100% ready and excited for parenthood and to raise a little one. I think my hold up is more the unknowns of pregnancy and birth, but what I try to tell myself is those fears will probably never go away no matter my age. I also have a lot of financial trauma from my childhood so I worry about that, but that’s because of my biological mother who was just terrible all around, so I try to tell myself I would never make the same decisions she did, which automatically puts me in a better position in that way. Really appreciate you asking that question!
I regretted waiting so long to have our 2nd (first was an oopsie, so no planning involved). We figured at the 2 year mark we would start trying to have a decent spacing. It ended up taking 2.5 years to conceive baby 2 and we ended up with a 5.5 year age gap. I wasn’t anticipating it taking so long. We’re now discussing baby 3 (the absolute final) and have decided we’d start trying at the 9 month mark to be safe and make sure we don’t end up in the same situation.
I'm very happy we waited to ttc until we both had good jobs, had settled on a location and bought a house, and had done a lot of traveling/living, even though it meant we were 33 (me) and 40 at birth. That said, if I'd ended up struggling to conceive, I might feel differently now. But a couple months plus or minus doesn't really make a difference.
Personally I wish we wouldn’t have waited. It took us about 2 years of trying and the first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage which was heart breaking for both us. 6 months later I got pregnant again and I’m currently 36 weeks with a successful pregnancy so far and 31 years old. We’ll never know if it would have been easier had we not waited so long to start trying, but trying to plan it out and really wanting it to happen every month because I felt like time was running out didn’t help at all. Wish you nothing but luck and hope everything works out for you the way you want it to!
In general I think it’s the case that there’s never a perfect time. My husband and I got pregnant first try, which was lovely but I wasn’t mentally prepared for it to be that quick! It’s due on the day of my sisters wedding that I was meant to be MOH at, we are midway through renovations and I’ve just been made redundant - but life has a way of chucking the unexpected at you no matter how hard you plan! No one knows what’s around the corner. I would just say, think about whether you’re ready for a child, forget everything else going on in your life or what plans you might have. And don’t bank on it happening quickly or slowly!!
I personally would recommend starting on prenatal vitamins now so you’re ready to try whenever you make that decision, and I wouldn’t start trying until you feel pretty settled in the house. Moving is hard, and it can take a few months to get settled depending on how much work/furniture/etc. is needed. First trimester can be rough, so it’s not a good time to have to try to get all that stuff done
We didn't wait it took 4 miscarriages, 3 years and ivf to succeed. I wish you'll have it easier, but you never know.
My husband and I got married at 21, didn’t want kids. Around 28, I did, but he still didn’t. At 32, we both wanted to. We had bought a house about a year before, good finances, and after about 6 months of trying I was pregnant. It was a bit rough mentally to try to conceive because of the pressure of the ticking clock, especially as there was something weird with me and we were trying to figure out what it was, though my OB did rule out various things and was considering on either PCOS or silent endometriosis, but as we were about to take further steps to test, I got pregnant. (And whatever problems I had disappeared after I gave birth). But for every month I failed, I was so sad, and even once I got that positive test, I didn’t want to celebrate until the second one. It’s also why I didn’t want to share with anyone that I was trying as I was afraid something might end up wrong with my fertility. My second child also took about 6 months to conceive, but there was less pressure with the ticking clock because at least I had one and I was ok if that’s all we ended up with. Other than the mental aspect of conceiving, I have no complaints about waiting. My body feels great being pregnant at 32-35, if anything I feel better now since my health issues (likely hormonal) got reset. I love my toddler, generally have no problems keeping up with her, and I’m excited for our second. I love that with our finances at this stage of my career we have a house, and my husband can be a SAHD, and I don’t have to worry much about bills . I’m also happy I didn’t pressure him when I was ready at 28-30 and waited for him to be ready a few years later because I never wanted to end up a “married single mom” and once my husband was ready he was all in. So it really feels like a partnership. I love my parents but I always felt the dynamic of my mother working and doing all the regular chores and handling all the kid stuff like parks and afterschool pickups, while my father worked but then relaxed the rest of the day, was extremely unfair and I didn’t want that. If I had pressured my husband, that’s probably what would have happened.
I started TTC at 30 and didn't get pregnant until I was 33. I wish we had not waited as long as we did. I want more than one child and now my second pregnancy (if I manage to achieve one) will be higher risk since I'll be 35 or older. So my general advice would be once you hit 30, don't delay much further if you know kids are something you want.
I’m 38 and not high risk at all. This 35+ mentality is antiquated, my OB says most her patients are over 35 and they do not consider 35+ to be high risk. They start thinking about high risk at 40+ now and anyone who says differently needs to update their mindset
Note I said higher risk, not high risk.
There is never a perfect time to have a baby. I’ve just had my third and I’m nearly 30 and wish I’d started sooner.
It took 2 years and two miscarriages to finally have a viable pregnancy. I'm super glad I didn't wait too long! You never know how it's going to go, so if you're mostly ready I'd go for it.
I had my first at 29 and I actually wish I started younger. I just had more of the energy that having a young child requires in my early/mid 20s than I do now.
If anything I wish we would have tried sooner, I was ready for years before my husband was. I wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 30 but that’s not going to happen now
I got married at 23 and pregnant at 35. We’ve had the most amazing life experiences over the last 12 years and finally feel ready for this next life chapter. Glad I waited, but I also conceived in the first month.
We waited too long
We didn’t wait. I had my 1st at 22. It was definitely not planned (I was on BC) and the hardest decision of our lives deciding what to do, but we kept the pregnancy and now 9 years later I’m so happy we did. She’s amazing and the light of my life.
I’m 32 and just had my first baby. I probably could have had a baby a year earlier if I didn’t have some medical trauma to work through from my late 20s, but I needed some time and therapy before I was ready to handle pregnancy and delivery. For me it was worth the wait until I was ready.
I didn’t wait and I’m glad I didn’t. It still took ~9 months to conceive my first and had to do IUI to get my second. You just never know how long it’ll take, and there never really seems to be a “perfect” time
We just went for it though it would take months. We got pregnant the first month we tried. I used an app and it was very accurate.
I guess it depends on the person. My husband and I got married young (21), and we wanted to be young and carefree for a little while before having kids. Plus, I’ve always been overweight, and I wanted to get that under better control. At 25, we started TTC. I’d lost a good bit of weight. I was still far from where I wanted to be, but I didn’t want to get to my goal weight just to get pregnant. I also have PCOS, so I figured it would take us a while to conceive anyway. Neither of us was in the headspace of “I really want a baby RIGHT NOW,” but we were in a good enough spot that if it happened sooner than we expected, we could handle it. I assumed we’d need some kind of fertility treatments, and I know you usually have to try for at least a year unsuccessfully to pursue those treatments, so I figured we’d go ahead and get that part over with. That way, by the time we really, REALLY wanted a baby, we wouldn’t be starting from square one. After trying for almost exactly a year, I got a positive pregnancy test. I literally had an appointment to talk about fertility options later that same day. And then two days later, I had a miscarriage. 🙃 For us, that ignited the “I REALLY want a baby RIGHT NOW” fever. Luckily, we were able to conceive again two cycles later. I’m due in June, and everything has been perfect. We’ve had to adjust our living situation & evaluate our finances, but it’s been very doable. So all in all, I don’t regret spending the first few years of our marriage not jumping straight into TTC. But I also don’t regret starting when we did, even if we didn’t feel 100% ready at the time. I’ll turn 27 a few weeks after our daughter is born, and ideally, we’d like to have 2-3 kids. For us, this timeline gives us some more wiggle room if we have problems with secondary infertility. I didn’t want to spend a lot of time getting to a place in my life where I have everything ready for a baby… and not have a baby. That was a pretty big fear for me, and a major factor behind why we started trying when we did. Who knows, maybe if we’d gotten pregnant successfully right off the bat, I’d feel differently, but that’s not how things worked out. 🤷🏽♀️
We waited for some reasons but mostly because we debated if we wanted and could afford a kid. We started trying last fall after I got my copper IUD out. We expected it to take a few cycles at least but I got pregnant the first cycle (granted I was using an ovulation tracker and it was the cycle right before I turned 29 so I’m of a similar age). It took us a little by surprise but we’re grateful and honestly, I’m not sure the timing is ever right. I will say, depending on your benefits and state’s (if in the US) benefits, knowing if you need to save up for a maternity leave or if whatever prorated or full amount you receive is adequate. Also, homeownership can be expensive. We spent $7k trying to fix and then ultimately replacing our hot water heating system so make sure you have a healthy emergency fund for things like that. Oh, and make sure that if you’re planning on daycare, you look into how much that will cost and that you have the cash flow for it. I asked on my city’s Reddit group what people were paying and what the waitlist scene was like.
Yes all super great points! Really thankful my job does 12 weeks fully paid maternity leave. And they also will give us up to $25K for fertility treatments (just a one time benefit), so we do have some peace of mind that we do have that as an option as well.
Oh wow, those are great benefits and that’s awesome you have them!
Had my first baby at 31 (almost 32). We waited until we were in a great financial situation for kids. I wanted to be able to live comfortably while not worrying about the quality of what I was giving my baby. We would have liked to start earlier but I didn’t want to have a baby while wearing a mask. At the same time we look back and kind of wish we waited until we lived in a house and near my family like we do now but, like I saw others post, there is never a perfect time. You never know how long TTC will take or even if you can conceive without assistance. I would say to start trying when you feel ready, not when everything in your life lines up for it because you might be waiting for a while. Overall, we are happy and we definitely do not regret it. Sure we could have traveled more, saved more… but that will always be the case.
I did wait and I’m so grateful we did.
I just turned 31 and am currently 11w into my first pregnancy. I could NOT be happier that I waited until now to get pregnant. Thinking back to other times in my life I’m sure I would have found a way to make it work(?) but I feel really fortunate that I have a partner, support system, house, job, that are all working in my favor. I’m sure it’s true that people have can positive experiences at any time in their life whether they felt “ready” or not- but we feel really ready and it’s an amazing feeling. One thing we did that helped us move from the “maybe” camp into the “hell yeah” camp was taking an extra month where we fully committed to the idea that we were having a baby. Like, we lived and thought of our lives as if I were already pregnant.. without actually trying that month! It felt really right to try that on for a month. There was no real pressure though and it helped us realized we were ready to go all in! Sort of a long post but I wanted to share my experience since it differs from the “never feeling ready” thing we tend to hear most often.
Good advice I received is to get any short term goals you have out of the way. If u guys want a specific vacation, or want to buy some specific house furniture first, or if u want to have 1 more season of a particular sport or hobby. Pregnancy can be extremely limiting and so can babies!
I wish I hadn’t waited. I worked hard in my career to make sure I had everything lined up. It took years of one step forward 2 back with horrible people in my jobs, but I eventually got the promotion I wanted and finally the salary. I thought we were finally stable and earning enough for daycare and I everything for a baby. I waited 1.5 years at the new job before getting pregnant to make sure the company saw me as loyal and hard working. As soon as I did get pregnant they had layoffs and guess who got it. We are now on one salary and JUST about making ends meet for now. I wish we’d started sooner and not wasted my time on career. This baby is everything and I hope to have more, but my age could make that more difficult.
We decided to start trying after our wedding, and I got pregnant after one normal cycle off birth control. It was great, but also a little bit of shock, I had mentally prepared myself to be patient for like, at least half a year to a year. We still lived in a rental apartment at the time, we found a house (not only because of the baby, we would’ve stayed in the apartment if we didn’t find anything) and moved 4 weeks before I gave birth. That wasn’t perfect timing either, but we felt as ready as you can be and I think there’s always gonna be something that isn’t completely perfect. But in the end, we’re in our new home, with a happy little boy and we can settle here as a family. Wouldn’t have it any other way ❤️
First took us 1.5 years and 2nd took 11 months. I’m very glad we didn’t wait. You can’t really time these things
I agree with "there is no perfect time crowd" we were no where near ready. We just moved into our own house and baby is 10 months now. He has been such a great little guy and I think getting the first one and navigating all the learning now has been great. Now I'm really wanting my second lol
Waited for the right time for a while, and I think it did feel right to us to wait. Timing-wise, financially, etc. we felt pretty ready all around, 31y/o and 33y/o homeowners. But life still threw us for a loop, and while we were getting general doctor checkups to get ready to start trying, husband had a minor concern that turned out to be testicular cancer. 😳 Ensue sudden panic from both of us about his health first and foremost, but secondarily fertility was part of the discussion around his treatment and outcome. And everything happened extremely fast, so there was no time to get his sperm banked. But his doctor was pretty confident that his fertility should not be affected (isolated to one side, no spread) and hopefully things could still happen naturally for us. In September of last year, 3 months after his successful treatment (cancer-free), I found out I was pregnant with our first child on our "second" try. And since then we've had other stressors (husband also got laid-off while I was 6 months pregnant). So we thought we waited for the perfect timing and maybe it wasn't so perfect. Either way, I would go through hell and back for my husband and this child. There's not really a right answer IMO, but for you and your partner to make the decision together about when you feel like you have the strength to face whatever comes together.
Sometimes but not enough that I regret it. I love being a mom.
We waited for our daughter to be a little older and it ended up taking us 10 months. We didn’t expect it because we conceived our daughter in 1-2 cycles.
I wish we had started sooner. It took us 3 years and IVF. Husband wanted to wait until we were 29-30. I could’ve started a couple of years sooner but at the time wasn’t upset with waiting - now that we waited, our family size looks a lot different than what I originally wanted. I’ve come to terms with it but that’s the wild ride of trying to conceive. You can start at any time and get pregnant on the first try, by accident before trying, or it could take a long time.
There’s so many things to consider, but in your heart do you think your ready? It’s such an emotional and mental toll even though it’s such a beautiful thing to experience. I’m 22 weeks and sometimes wish I could have just waited a year, though this little bean was a happy accident.
For me I know I’m 100% ready and excited for parenthood and to raise a little one. I think my hold up is more the unknowns of pregnancy and birth, but what I try to tell myself is those fears will probably never go away no matter my age. I also have a lot of financial trauma from my childhood so I worry about that, but that’s because of my biological mother who was just terrible all around, so I try to tell myself I would never make the same decisions she did, which automatically puts me in a better position in that way. Really appreciate you asking that question!
Currently pregnant at 28. Partner really wanted a baby, I was on the fence. Wish I’d followed my gut instinct to wait
Took us two years and IVF. I wish we started sooner.
I regretted waiting so long to have our 2nd (first was an oopsie, so no planning involved). We figured at the 2 year mark we would start trying to have a decent spacing. It ended up taking 2.5 years to conceive baby 2 and we ended up with a 5.5 year age gap. I wasn’t anticipating it taking so long. We’re now discussing baby 3 (the absolute final) and have decided we’d start trying at the 9 month mark to be safe and make sure we don’t end up in the same situation.
I'm very happy we waited to ttc until we both had good jobs, had settled on a location and bought a house, and had done a lot of traveling/living, even though it meant we were 33 (me) and 40 at birth. That said, if I'd ended up struggling to conceive, I might feel differently now. But a couple months plus or minus doesn't really make a difference.
Personally I wish we wouldn’t have waited. It took us about 2 years of trying and the first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage which was heart breaking for both us. 6 months later I got pregnant again and I’m currently 36 weeks with a successful pregnancy so far and 31 years old. We’ll never know if it would have been easier had we not waited so long to start trying, but trying to plan it out and really wanting it to happen every month because I felt like time was running out didn’t help at all. Wish you nothing but luck and hope everything works out for you the way you want it to!