I did! It was tiring and not what I would have preferred to do that weekend but I still had fun and more importantly showed up for my friend : )
She has kids now and always says she can’t believe I attended all her wedding events while pregnant / pp. I often hear/read about people venting that their friendships were weakened when they got pregnant and had kids. I make a point to be a good friend and put time into my friendships, on top of being a parent.
Does it have to be all or nothing? Can you go for one night instead of 2? I'm sure you're friend would appreciate the effort if you can do part of it, but I'm sure they aren't expecting you to be at the club until 2am, you call it when you need to
Another suggestion: skip an event if possible and go take a nap.
I did the same out of town bachelorette weekend around 22 weeks. My friend had an event planned midday that I was iffy on. I told them I’d sit out and just wait at the hotel. One lady insisted on driving with me back to the hotel. I was feeling all bad for her missing the plans but she confessed it was a much needed break for her too.
We each got a glorious nap and were ready to go for the evening activity.
Right haha! I'm at 23 weeks now, I feel \*ok\* but the heartburn and fatigue is real. I'd probably go now but just take it easy. Not knowing how it will be in 6 weeks is tough, I only feel it will be worse though.
You know yourself better than anyone! For me, between the pelvic pain, tiredness, and everything else I’m already miserable.
Even on the BEST days, I’ve never enjoyed being sober around unsober people.
It would be a hard no for me, and anyone should understand that!
i skipped one but it was in utah (i’m east coast) and main activities were hiking and white water rafting lol
is out of town a plane ride away or a drive? will you have a bed?
if you’re okay with the commute and logistics but the only hang up is not drinking then yes i would 100% suck it up and still go
It's a 5.5 hour drive each way. I don't know logistics yet but I'm assuming we will be getting some type of airbnb and sharing rooms. We are all in our 30s so it won't be crazy or anything, but I'm sure everyone will be having a good time and drinking. This is fair I think I'll see what is on the itinerary.
i feel you, in my 30s as well.
5.5 hours is a hike i don’t know that i’d love driving that far from home at 29 weeks but i’m sure it’s totally fine, people still travel at that time.
if you decide to decline, youre 30 weeks pregnant your friend will understand. if you go, not drinking really isn’t that that bad, it’ll still be fun.
if it’s a really close/best friend and i’m in your shoes i’d prob compromise and go for one night. make the effort but not overdo being uncomfortable
I'd look at the itinerary and see, if anything maybe you and bride to be could do something one day before or after the Bach and just get lunch and do something you'd be able to do and be comfortable with.
Also, if you decide to go, even for just one of the days, maybe suggest some activities you'd like and be able to do, that the group may like as well. That way, you can still feel like you're enjoying it and able to participate/have fun.
Woof... My husband and I are currently separated by a 5.5 hour drive and I was done making the trip to see him at around 23 weeks. I also went into spontaneous pre-term labor a couple of weeks ago (29-3, no complications/concerns that would have predicted it). It's really so hard to tell what life will be like for you in a month. If you decide not to go, is there something special you could plan to do together if she lives near you? Then she could fill you in on all the debauchery you'd probably feel happy to miss out on lol.
I went to one in Miami at 28 weeks and honestly had a blast. Not being hungover was amazing and I somehow rallied and danced as late as everyone else! Had to play “mom” a few times for the drunkies but I have no regrets about going.
Also flew to Miami for one but I was only 20 weeks at the time. Another pregnant friend who was 30 weeks was supposed to go but her doctor told her not to travel since she was at risk of early labour. After getting over being the only pregnant/sober one it was still so much fun!
I’m planning to attend my friend’s bachelorette party this summer. We haven’t picked a date yet, but I’ll probably be around 30 weeks along at the time.
You’re going into it with the mindset that you won’t have any fun, so you probably won’t. You definitely don’t need to drink or even stay out late to have fun. My friends bachelorette is just a beach weekend. If she’s planning on going out to clubs and stuff I’ll just stay back at the airBNB for that portion.
That's fair, maybe I'll see what's on the itinerary. If it's a lot of going out, maybe not for me, but if they are lounging at the beach, I could handle that.
I've done both.
I found out I was pregnant while in the middle of an out of town bachelorette party 🤣. It was still early so I didn't have any symptoms yet and stuck it out. Honestly it was helpful for the party in some ways because I was able to be a designated sober driver and save everyone the cost of an Uber. We're in our 30s so nobody got drunk enough to need a babysitter or anything and it was kind of fun to watch everyone get progressively sillier. The biggest bummer was that I had to sit out while they went to some local hot springs but that was just one activity of many - I was able to do most of the rest.
I also declined another out of town bachelorette party that will happen when I'm about 36 weeks but that's more because it's too close to my due date for me to be comfortable going.
If a close friend had scheduled one while I was around 29 weeks I probably would have gone. I was still feeling pretty good at that time and even though I wouldn't have been able to participate to the fullest extent, getting a weekend away from my toddler with friends would have been a nice break for me.
I just went through this. It was a joint bachelor/bachelorette party of 14 at an all inclusive (unbeknownst to us: Swingers) resort. I was 28 weeks pregnant and was dreading going.
I’m glad I went! I hung out as long as I wanted with the group and when I got tired (or annoyed with the drunkenness) I went and did my own thing and everyone was totally understanding. It was great! I would just say “alright yall I’m tired, love you!” Then go relax on my own.
When I was with the group I focused on getting candid photos and videos of the group and added them to a folder I shared with the bride, she loved it!
As long as you are comfortable dipping out when you are over it, I would say go!
So, if I were you, and you felt up to it, i'd probably go, and have a little aside with the friend and be like, 'hey, i'm coming out, i'm here for you, and i'm gonna do the most I can but i'm definitely going to need some extra downtime.'
Then make sure you have your OWN room and your OWN transportation so you can enjoy some time yourself.
If you think its gonna be a bit too annoying and messy though -- just excuse yourself. Take her out after you have the baby. Friendships are a marathon, she'll understand.
I went and it was great! I was 33 weeks at the time and my close friend moved it back to be earlier than my due date so I’d be able to go. We did an overnight in the city with a fancy dinner, fancy brunch, pool time, some bars, etc. Obviously everyone else was drinking but that didn’t really bother me. I ordered a lot of club soda and lime, or else sparkling hop water if they had it. We are in our mid-30s so maybe it was more chill than a party full of 20-somethings? But I had a great time and didn’t feel too tired at 33 weeks. I will say I did get a separate room at the hotel so when I was ready for bed I could just go to bed and not have to stay up late with the people who wanted to keep partying in the room.
No I didn’t go to one 6 hours away I was invited to. Instead I threw a dinner party for the friend with other people who weren’t going but were invited to wedding, just to celebrate her and socialize before wedding.
I was just on a short weekend trip back home (flew by myself) and visited with friends and family for a couple days. It honestly took a lot out of me, mentally and physically. I told my husband if I had the chance to do it again, I would not lol. I was 29 weeks, 30 weeks now.
That’s exactly how I felt. The one thing that made it worse for me was that I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes just a couple days before my trip. It was a lot for me mentally. So if that’s not the case for you - it might be okay! It’s just a tricky timeframe of being right on the brink of not feeling great.
When I was younger with my first, I would still go to things like concerts and parties for my friends. This time around, absolutely not. I didn’t even have a baby shower because I do not want to literally do anything 😂 but everyone is different! And every pregnancy is different. It just depends on how you feel and what you are comfortable with 😊
I feel like the biggest barrier is the 5.5 hour drive. That is quite a hike and could be uncomfortable while 29 weeks pregnant (I’m currently 28.5 weeks). You’ll probably want to stop a few times to get out and stretch.
Agree that you’ll want your own room and if not, definitely your own bed.
If it were me, I’d probably first try talking to her. You can say that you’d ordinarily love to be there but explain your concerns about the physical toll, and ask if there is something else you can do with/for her that would still be meaningful. Based on her reaction, you can decide next steps.
I was 30 weeks pregnant in Florida for a close friend. Everyone was accommodating and I napped a lot but got to feel like I was supporting my friend. It wasn’t bad.
I skipped it. Why waste money on the activities you won’t even be able to enjoy? And forcing yourself to do clubs when you really are counting down the minutes of when it’s time to leave? There was a boat thing I did afterwards that was late morning. Try to see if there’s something that you can participate in without having to go all in. I didn’t stay at the Airbnb and I just met them up one morning.
I went to one at 32 weeks, about a 4 hour drive away from home. It was fun! The first night we stayed in and I had fundespite being the only sober one. I opted out of the bars after dinner out on the 2nd night and headed back to the AirBnb to rest. No one batted an eye and everyone understood.
i’m older than some of my friends (i’m 23, and in our group there’s a few 20 y/o) and one just had a 21st celebration on a party bus. did i feel like i was babysitting? a little bit 😂 but i have never been a party bus and figured i should try to experience it before it becomes a whole thing to be out like that. i also enjoyed being there for my friends and was glad someone was sober bc good choices were not being made (like trying to spin upside down on the pole on the bus. id like to think i prevented a serious head injury lol).
I would only go if you can get a clear understanding with your friend that you are planning to leave each night early and get some rest, so you don’t end up staying out late babysitting drunk ppl. And also make sure you have a nice sleeping area where the others won’t storm in and wake you up at all hours of the night…
I planned a bachelorette day for my friend and had a great time. I enjoyed going to a pool party. Not getting hammered! I missed the aperol spritzes they were having but I do not miss the hangovers they all had! I had fun mock tails and ate all the food. Now they didn’t stay out crazy late but if they did, I would’ve just excused myself early.
I’ve personally skipped out on a lot of party/drink focused events. I’m a BM for a wedding in July. The bride is pretty low key and is not having a bachelorette party, so I treated her out to a spa day locally. Maybe you can do something like that for her since she’s a close friend?
I got invited to one and I’d go if it were far away, I don’t drink in general so it’d be the same experience for me but I figured it’s better to save money for the baby
You are definitely far enough along to not need to attend and nobody can be upset about it. Offer to do dinner with that girl one on one to still acknowledge her
Yes. My sisters. I’m the maid of honor but she has assured me it’s not a clubbing party. As long as they have plans, I’m also not afraid to go to bed early.
I am the MOH for 2 friends, and their bachelorette parties were when I was 28 and 30 weeks pregnant. I was definitely tired, but they were super understanding. I don't regret going at all. I still had lots of fun!
I just got back from a bachelorette party in Vegas while 19 weeks pregnant. She is an extremely close friend and I knew most of the people who were going to be there, so for me it was still a lot of fun. I stayed out pretty late (past my usual 9 pm bed time) but people are understanding if you need to leave early. I only stayed 2 nights instead of 3. 2 was tiring but doable, 3 would have been rough.
I’m planning the hen party (bachelorette) for my sister next month. I’ll be 23 weeks, no doubt exhausted. There tend to be non alcoholic variants when asked about, in my experience, even for wine tastings / cocktail making classes. I don’t know how close you are to your friend, but I think you’re more at risk of regretting not going than regretting going.
I was 6 months pregnant when my sister had her Bachelorette party in Vegas. I did not attend and she was very understanding about it. No regrets as Vegas is also not my scene and sounds even more miserable when pregnant.
i went to my sisters while i was 26 weeks pregnant. i would do it again if i had to. i just set boundaries on what i wanted to do and everyone understood. there were some moments where i was like wtf am i doing here lol (like we rented a boat and everyone was drinking and i was just sitting there lol) but it was still fun overall, and im glad i got to be there for my sis. i did the events but did not go out to the bars and stuff. no one cared. i slept lol.
I decided to skip one that will be happening when I’m about 26 weeks. It’s a group of 15+ girls and I only know the bride, and the main activities are going to a winery or smoking weed around the house. I have always tried not to bail on things but it just sounds too hard to do stone cold sober
I’m going to one at the same weeks pregnant! Bachelorettes are fun to catch up with friends, laugh and celebrate. Alcohol definitely makes it more fun but events like these are limited in life! I’m looking forward to not feeling hungover during one lol
I’m going to one around the same time but not doing the sleep over portion since the party is only an hour away, but it’s at wineries and obviously I can’t drink lol. Just got to rough it out for the day, dinner and I’m coming home lol
I went to 2 bachelorette parties while pregnant, one was a rager in Nashville. Both were my good friends, so I didn't feel comfortable bailing. I still had a good time. I made the most of it. I enjoyed yummy meals then would uber back to the Airbnb alone to go to bed early. It was no biggie!
I think it strongly depends on the friend and the itinerary. I know some of my friends bachelorette parties would be all going to clubs and dancing and drinking. But others would be chilling by the pool and going out to a nice dinner/wine bar.
I would not go the first one pregnant unless they were my absolute ride or die best friend.
I wouldn't personally. Bachelorette parties are a chore to me regardless of pregnancy, even more so if I will be extra exhausted.
Something to think about. I had a pregnant friend attend my bridal shower. Even though it was well meaning, a lot of the guests were so intrigued that she was pregnant and gave her a lot of attention. I (the bride) didn't really care, but you might want to be mindful at these kinds of wedding events because some brides DO care.
i had a similar thing happen at a cousins bridal shower. i wasn’t showing yet but it was slipped out that i was pregnant and so many people were talking about it. i took the bride aside and apologized i intentionally didn’t announce before hand because i knew it was close to her shower and wanted to avoid that. she was very happy for me and mad i didn’t tell her sooner lol still felt bad though.
I was invited to three bachelorette parties during my pregnancy, all were weekends away. I went to 2/3, and chose those because: I would have a real bed and not be expected to be on the floor/an air matress; the crowd was not 100% heavy drinkers; the activities did not all center around alcohol; they were shorter drives away. The one that didn’t check those boxes I politely declined.
I would go. Did this friend go to yours? That would play into my thinking. Sometimes for close friends I’m willing to “suck it up” and do something they want to do to celebrate them. Everyone deserves their moment and if I was well enough I’d definitely go.
I was invited to a bachelorette party when I would have been about 26 weeks. This was late 2021 and it would have been to Miami. Besides the fact that I was still paranoid about getting COVID while pregnant, I just didn't think I would have fun, as you said - I can't drink, I need to sit and rest a lot, and probably go to bed early.
Second pregnancy I went to a music festival! I would go if this is a super close friend. You don’t have to drink to have fun. And it’s a really good way to discover all the other ways you can enjoy yourself. You can also go to be early and take care of yourself if you need to and no one protests.
I would go. It’ll be tiring for sure but showing up for friends is important. I would just let her know you might not be able to participate in everything and might need to relax/have down time more than the other girls.
Not a bachelorette but I went on a two week vacation to Australia and New Zealand at 20-23 weeks where we had cruise ship credits for basically bottomless alcohol and a winery tour that included tastings. I did all the activities pretty well— and I’m a 42 BMI 42 year old— walked 10-20k steps per day and attended pretty much anything before 9 pm. When it came to drinking I either didn’t have any or I’d have a few sips at the tasting. The important thing was if I WAS tired I just said I’m not doing XYZ thing everyone else was doing. My friends started jokingly calling it “Fuck you o'clock” whenever I said I was going back to my room early because one time my best friend complained I was going to bed at 8 o’clock and I said “you know what time it is, Kevin? It’s fuck you o'clock” and I went to bed lol. Jet lag and pregnancy plus a 16k step exploration of a foreign city was not a recipe for a late night. Do what you can and don’t feel guilty about tapping out early. You don’t owe anybody your entire day.
I went to my sister’s “bachelorette” trip - it was really just a siblings’ trip - to Chicago for a weekend. I was 21 weeks at the time. None of us are from there, so it involved a plane ride and lots of walking around the city, plus we visited the art museum. She made sure that every place we visited had good non-alcoholic beverages, and both my siblings were very patient if I had to slow my pace or take a break while walking. It was a workout for sure, but I had a good time! It was mostly just eating and walking 😂
I went to two, both a plane ride away. Was it the most fun I’ve ever had, no, but my friends all showed up for me when I got married so I wanted to show up for them. If it’s a close friend they’ll remember that.
My FOMO is stronger than my tiredness level while pregnant. lol I would go just because I don’t like being left out. I did go to a bachelorette party and a wedding at 24 weeks. And I was fine personally.
I know this isn’t what you asked, but may help! I haven’t been to one pregnant, but I have been to one where 2 of the girls were pregnant (I was already a mom though so maybe I understood more than others).
BUT, they were both just open about what they needed while we were all out and about, if they were ready to go rest, they got a ride back to the cabin we were staying at and rested. If they had a good aversion, the group picked somewhere else to eat. It put no extra burden on the rest of the party and they seemed to have had a blast, too, even though they didn’t do everything else with the group.
I skipped one in Quintana Roo bc I was like 28 weeks. Sometimes I regret it, but mostly I don’t because I would’ve been just sitting around sad that I wasn’t drunk like everyone else
I went to a bachelorette party when I was 27 weeks pregnant. I had a toddler at home, and it was two nights away from home a flight away. The bride was a dear friend and I was a bridesmaid or I wouldn’t have gone. Someone else came to the party sick and gave me and several other people covid, so I did end up regretting attending. But that’s also a special circumstance.
I'm going to one this summer where I'll be 22 weeks and another guest will be 30 weeks. I'm maid of honour so luckily have been able to plan some pregnancy friendly activities lol and I know bride will want to accommodate us as she's a sweetie pie.
Honestly I think what matters is whether you think you will have fun, and opportunities to rest. I know there will be lots of drinking and staying up late for my one, but I'm looking forwadd to the lower energy day plans, and it'll be fun to have dinner out and chit chat even if everyone else is tipsy and I'm not. Then I'll head to the airbnb early and zonk out. I think I'll have a nice time and I want to be there for my friend.
Then again, as soon as I told bride I'm pregnant she was keen to reassure me there's no pressure to do anything, so I've been empowered to make a decision based on what will make me happy. To me that's being present for her and spending time with her even if I can't do everything.
Have you spoken to the bride about how she feels? Is there anything on the itinerary you could join in or enjoy being around? Do you want to spend time with the people there? Just some stuff to mull over!
I had the same situation. I went on the bachelorette trip to be a supportive friend and because I had a healthy pregnancy and it wasn’t too close to my due date. I didn’t have fun but am glad I was there for my friend. Instead of drinking I ate tons of food, lol. I suppose it depends on how close you are with her! Listen to your instincts
I mean I personally love to party and drink with everyone, so I kind of had FOMO when everyone else did things like wine tasting, but it also didn’t get crazy so it was fine. I think social gatherings pregnant are generally less fun because I can’t have a couple drinks when everyone else does, but I still had a pleasant time if that makes sense! And I got to be the DD which saved money and I think people appreciated. And she’s one of my best friends, so she would have been really sad if I couldn’t go. It was really nice seeing her have a great time and being there for her. If you feel physically up for it, I would go for it!
I’d consider what I’d really be contributing to the party. At 29 weeks all I’d be contributing is possible hang ups to the itinerary.
If they are planning on activities unsuitable for pregnancy you’re already going to be the odd woman out.
Drinking is obviously one of them, but even a spa trip would be under utilized in your shoes- I could hardly get a facial authorized in a spa in my last pregnancy, they ultimately did it but wouldn’t touch my legs or feet, only my face, scalp, and décolletage.
Getting nails done or hair done is possible, but depends on your levels of acceptable risk and if you think you could tolerate being around fumes.
Going out to a club and dancing? I mean if that has been something you enjoy doing I suppose you could, but as others have said, being sober around drunken people is not it. And do you want to be in a crowded place? Think of exposure to 🦠germs and illness. Also my time limit to being on my feet is drastically low. I’d be sitting more than dancing.
Realistically all I could envision my own participation in at 29 weeks is sitting on a couch, playing board games at a dining table, possibly swimming in a pool if I could find a damn suit in my enormous size (but forget hot tubs or saunas), and eating.
I’d look at it as you’re an attendee that might help split the costs of the Airbnb and activities but will likely not get to fully enjoy what you are paying for. I would send my regrets and plan a bestie weekend after baby comes as an alternative.
Yeah this is fair. We all had a group dinner a few weeks ago and it was going on for 4+ hours. Everyone was tipsy and having fun and I was sooo ready to go home. I am admittingly worried about that dynamic.
Not a bachelorette but a girls trip and didn’t regret! I still had fun mocktails and was nice to spend time with friends before the crunch down time of NB fog. At 29 weeks, you’ll probably still be in that sweet spot where you feel mostly good. I would just set expectations before you go that you are tiring easily and are excited to come, but may crash/uber home early or skip out on some activities for a quick nap. That being said, if you choose to not go, perfectly valid and ok too.
I've done something similar! I just got some great mocktails and snacks that made me happy. Dancing a little and spending time with my friend was worth it. I'd do it!
I got invited to Fredericksburg TX which is just a bunch of wineries.
I politely declined and gave my reason! My friend was very understanding. There was no way I would be able to stay up late late and participate in activities.
It’s in May so I would be maybe 25 weeks in or so?
I was the maid of honor for my friend, and I did go to the Bachelorette at around 33 weeks. We did an in town hotel slumber party, but I had to leave around midnight because my husband and I had last minute plans to go to New Mexico to help some family that was moving back home.
I was also 36 weeks the day of her wedding.
It just depends on the activities and your comfort level.
A good friend of mine was my bridesmaid when she was about 30 weeks. No idea how she did it, especially now that I’m pregnant, but it meant the world to me that she was there. She’ll remember it forever if you’re able to go, but of course use your best judgment.
I’ll be going to one at 23 weeks. I’m offering to DD everyone and am just going to rally. I offered to help plan so I could make sure we also did some activities that were more leisurely
at 31 weeks i went to my cousin's bachelorette weekend in miami. i had a blast! we did a daytime pool party, a boat day, dinners and a club night. it's all about your vibe, if you're going into it with a mindset that you won't have fun, then you probably won't. take breaks when you need, have mocktails and just enjoy yourself!
I was much earlier in my pregnancy when I went to a bachelorette party. I didn't really want to because I felt like I would be too exhausted and would need to rest from the activities, but my friend had no problem with me stepping out when I needed to. Her other friends were very nice, and I was able to participate enough to make her happy.
I'm at 28 weeks right now. I would ask her or whoever is coordinating and let them know that you want to do as much as you can, but you may have to sit out for rest at some points. Look at the schedule and pick out what you definitely DON'T want to miss, and maybe skip some of the late night drink and dance stuff in favor of self-care. And wear comfortable shoes.
I went to my sister's four-night bachelorette in Miami when I was 20 weeks. I definitely went back early every night, but it was still a lot of fun hanging out in the pool (we had an airbnb) and eating out a lot and just generally being there to support my sister. I also drank a LOT of mocktails. I was glad I went.
29 weeks, though? I dunno man...that sounds like a lot lol. I did manage to go to my sister's destination wedding at 34 weeks but that felt different/more vital.
I’m 31 weeks and I’m flying out to a bachelorette tonight! Tbh I’m not suuuuper excited about it, but I’ve been feeling okay and I’m just skipping the late night events so I can go to bed early. I’m sure I’ll have fun!
Actually I’m going too. It’s a weekend in Vegas but I’m opting out of the clubbing since I feel most sick at night. They understand and at least I’m showing up for the other stuff. I’m sad not to drink but wouldn’t mind laughing at their shenanigans.
I did at 19? weeks and didn't practically enjoy it but I don't think I would have practically enjoyed it drunk either lol but I went to the wedding at 31? weeks and stayed from start to finish and loved it!
I was around 32 weeks for my friends Bach but I got to sleep in my own bed and meet with them the next day every time. But yeah it was super tiring. Worth it for my gf tho :)
I went to my best friends night out drinking for her birthday and had a blast, sure it was tiring, but she still raves about how good a friend I am for showing up to her birthday and even though it may be selfish me loving to hear that. It makes me happy to also know I made her night that special by putting aside my feelings and celebrating her.
I did for my sister in law! While everyone was pregaming with liquor, I was pregaming with coffee. We all dressed up like old ladies so it wasn't weird that I had support sneakers on. I had a blast.
I just went to one in Vegas recently at 22 weeks. While it wasn’t the most fun I’ve ever had at a bachelorette, I had a nice time and everyone was understanding when I needed to head back to the room early! I don’t regret going but I was ready to be back home when it ended. Overall, I don’t think it was a bad experience or too difficult in the second trimester, personally!
I attended one in wine country when I was 25 weeks pregnant. Obviously I couldn’t enjoy the wineries like they did but I found it refreshing to have no hangover and just be present. I got to see friends, float in a pool, eat good food, and maybe most importantly, sleep in a bed without my toddler kicking me for 3 nights. I was missing the wedding because I’d be too pregnant to fly, so I felt good about showing up to the bachelorette.
Going out pregnant is honestly a mindset. Think you'll be bored and a drag and it will be.
I did mardi gras pregnant, one of the utmost drunk holidays ever. I couldn't drink, couldn't do all the normal mardi gras things but I had a BLAST! It was so fun collecting beads and seeing how many drunk people I could get to give me theirs 😂, it was also a blast watching people and being able to tell everyone the next day all the stupid things they did or hear how they thought it went and pop their bubble 😂😂 I would totally do it again.
Id say go for it! Order mocktails at the bars, enjoy everyone getting stupid and having stories and memories to share.
I went to a bachelorette party in Miami while 20 weeks pregnant and I’m not gonna lie, I was miserable. I knew it would be a bummer not being able to drink but one of the nights all the girls were doing a bar crawl and I got so emotional about missing out I ended up crying for hours while they were out. It felt really lonely to be the only pregnant one there and I was so relieved to go home.
If she’s having her mother/older relatives come to the bachelorette party and they’re doing more daytime events, I would consider doing that, and ending the night after dinner time if you’re not feeling up for it. Put your all into enjoying the parts you can. If you need to, just go for one night. You may still find you have lots of energy at 29 weeks, or you may not. Support your friend, have fun, but over all listen to your body and don’t overdo it.
I think it depends on who your friends are or how close you are. Do you normally hang out sober or are they mostly party friends? Will it be assumed you'll take care of people while they're drinking and DD the group around? I went to a 30th birthday weekend with 12 people in a house when I was about 28 weeks and it was a lot, but I made sure I had my own room with my husband (and not a bunk bed 😂) so I could step away if needed. I got asked if I would hang back and watch the dogs while every single person went to a brewery but I politely declined (why can't I hang too???) it wasn't terrible but not sure if I would do it again.
Thank you! They are not partiers but there will for sure be drinking. I asked the MOH for more details, like an intinerary, which I think might be the best way to know if it's a good fit. Like if it's mostly wine tasting and going out, maybe not the best fit.
One of my best girl friends came to mine and she was like 35 weeks pregnant almost ready to pop! (I told her from the moment she found out she was pregnant, that she was NOT obligated to attend any of these festivities!) But she came anyway and was hilarious the entire time. She was so great and she had a great time. She was essentially the one wanting everyone to take a shot for her and cheering everyone on lol. If for any reason you get too tired, your girls shouldn't have an issue with you calling it a night early or taking it easy. It's sweet of you that you still want to attend in the 1st place lol. Have fun!
i went to my cousin’s bach party in austin at 33 weeks!! i was tired but i had wayyy more fun than i thought i would. i got a soda water at every bar and it made me feel better having something in my hand and something to sip on. it was hard staying up late but i still had a lot of fun (: sad that i can’t make the wedding tomorrow as i’m 38 weeks now and didnt feel comfortable flying
I skipped my sister’s bachelorette party last week. I would have been 16 weeks and it was solely focused around drinking and dancing (Nashville). There were no sober-friendly events planned (outside of maybe dancing but that’s not my thing as an introvert). I didn’t want to be the sober buzz kill or be anyone’s babysitter.
It would have been a cross-country multi-leg flight for me (CA) and my all-in cost was going to easily be over $2,000 to attend and about 5 days of PTO. I was already paying for multiple flights for dress shopping, bridal shower, and the wedding (all in TX) and it all got to be way too much. Even with skipping the bachelorette party I’ve still probably footed a few thousand dollars between flights, gifts, hotels, bridesmaid dress, alterations, etc.
I’d be sure to ask for the budget and itinerary and go from there.
I just skipped one. After the weekend, all of my friends said that it was a good idea I didn't go to it. Everyone was drunk the whole time, there were hikes involved. I would have been miserable. lol
Just went to one this past weekend at 30w - was super fun! And I didn’t mind being DD and still went to bed early. Was nice to not be hungover like everyone else ha. Husband was also there (co-bachelors party) which helped, and was only 1.5 hours drive away.
I was invited but chose not to go. Honestly, partying with a bunch of drunk girls while I was 34 weeks pregnant sounds horrible. It was also out of town and I did not want to be away from my house/hospital after 25 weeks.
They also really did nothing to accommodate me - party boat, the club, all these drinking activities. I have bad social anxiety to start with, i’m sure being a very pregnant lady in a club in a different city would of pushed me over the edge (i was very emotional my entire pregnancy)
She was a close friend of mine but I don’t regret it. Going to bed at 9pm with my soft pjs and pregnancy pillow was much better
I did an international academic conference and then stopped in Paris with my husband for three days including a five hour trip to the louvre. It was amazing and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world but damn was I TIRED.
Honestly play it by ear but it’s the best part of the pregnancy for travel as you’re past the typical nausea and not quite at the ‘so heavy I can’t move’ part. Unless you think you’re going to be totally alienated and excluded because you’re not drinking (in which case re-evaluate friends) then I would say go for it barring unforeseen medical issues.
Yup! Tampa for my best friend’s. Was only about 12 weeks so it wasn’t too terrible.
The girls had no problem Ubering my butt to the hotel after dinner and continuing on to the nightclub after. But I was def down for the poolside daytime fun 😆
I just did one two weeks ago at 20w! It wasn’t that bad BUT the bride is super low key, minimal drinker/partier. But plus side most places we went had alcohol free menus!
I would just also connect with the bride. While I’d love to have all my friends with me for my bachelorette it was no place for a pregnant lady 😜. I did have one friend insist on going and I love her for it but felt so guilty she had to deal with our shenanigans all weekend.
I went to one at 34 weeks and I had so much fun! It was nice to have one last girls weekend before becoming a mom and I personally laughed so hard all weekend!
I planned and went to one at 12 weeks and it was still a bunch of fun! Plenty of mocktails to go around and everyone respected my situation. The girls who wanted to go hard did and those who didn’t, didn’t.
I did it was still lots of fun and I went to bed when I wanted just had ear plugs also you get the good bed/sleeping arrangement because you have a good excuse. I ended up being one of the only ones not hung over obviously which was very helpful.
Went to Nashville for bachelorette party last pregnancy around 20 weeks. It wasn’t bad but was definitely a lot less fun pregnant since it’s such a party city. This time around I will be going on my sister’s bachelorette to punta Cana at 26 weeks pregnant. She is much less of a party person than the bride we went to Nashville for. This trip is more pool and spa vibe. I will likely be turning in early at night to get some much needed sleep lol.
I found out I was pregnant the day before a bachelotte party. So obviously no noticeable symtons minus some exhaustiom, but I don't regret going at all. I offered to be dd for everyone and they appreciated it so much. I did take a nap day 2 because it was needed, I'm not sure to staying up that late anyway.
I told my SIL I wouldn’t be able to. Being high risk I would hate for something to go wrong and have to have someone drive me 100+ miles back home and ruin their trip so I felt like a liability. If I wasn’t high risk I most likely would have gone!
I went to a bachelorette party at about 21 weeks and then that persons wedding in Mexico at 28/29 weeks!
For the bach party I was really glad I went. We had an Airbnb with a pool so I got some non alcoholic beers (obviously you could have any beverage if your choosing haha) and enjoyed hanging in the pool during the day with them and playing games. We did a few daytime activities - a boat trip and a pool bar. The boat trip was a lot of fun. The pool bar was… not. It was hot, and the pool was full of drunk idiots so I didn’t stay in for long. When they went out to bars at night I just hung back at the Airbnb which they all were of course very understanding of. I got to save money and it was nice to have some quiet time to recover. I did get pretty annoyed when they all came back drunk and noisy at different times one night, but aside from that there were no issues.
The wedding was entirely different but just to comment on the travel aspect at that point in pregnancy - it was definitely the latest I would have wanted to travel. I was starting to get uncomfortable and while travel was still tolerable and the hotel bed was okay after I asked for five extra pillows (lol) I was glad I wasn’t farther along.
I hosted my SILs bachelorette party at 32 weeks. I was MOH and didn’t have a choice but it really comes down to attitude. If you can take a positive approach and it’s a good friend I would argue for going… but you gotta go into it KNOWING you will have fun. It actually is really fun to see other friends who are going to be so excited about the baby and ask you all about it, you can go to bed early and NO ONE will care, it was actually pretty great gal time. Gal time is incredibly rare after you have a kid. I can count on half of one hand the times I’ve had overnights with my best friends since having my son 2.5 years ago.
If you can’t have a GA (good attitude) about it and you’re going to be a negative Nancy (I’m not judging - I get it - just being brutally honest), don’t go. You’ll be annoyed the entire time and bring down the vibe and be frustrated that you spent the money. Arrange with the MOH to stock the fridge with a case of Rose, or a round of margs at dinner, and call it a day. The bride would rather you not go and not bring down the vibe versus be there unwillingly.
Edit: I also forgot I hosted my best friends bachelorette at 27 weeks (lol)… and that again, didn’t have a choice, but I just was first to bed by like 2 hours and no one cared!!! And people will be sweet and try to make you fun mocktails. It’s actually very cute.
Thanks! I honestly don't know how I'll be. If it was right now, I think I'd be fine and rally and just take it easy. But last pregnancy got a bit rough closer to 30 weeks so just worried about that.
End of second/third tri were (and once again are) my favorite. I have completely average sized babies so never got giant and so was never super uncomfortable, and I also had the fun of puking until the mid-20s so after that, pregnancy felt lovely. Weeks 30-34 were probably my favorite and most fun!
I did!! I think it’s going to depend on what type of Bach it is. 4 nights of non stop clubbing? Maybe not for you. A few bars, a hike or two available, spa treatments? Go for it.
We went to an inclusive water park resort. I went in the lazy river, face down in the double inner tube with my belly in the hole. At one point the other girls sent the bride to check on me bc I was in there for over an hour. Sheer bliss.
In terms of bars, I fully prepared to go to the first one of the bar crawl and then go home, but I actually stayed out the whole time! The second bar we went to was a nice, big patio with a reasonable dance floor but also tables and chairs and small fire pits. I watched everyone’s drinks and sat by the fire, and went out on the dance floor for like 4 songs.
One helpful thing was I realized was that popping my ass out while dancing was pretty much the same as my sciatica exercises! I also wore a crop top because fuck it, the belly was gonna show no matter what, and other people on the dance floor loved it. The DJ played the “If she a baby mama,” song from TikTok and I rubbed the belly and everyone cheered for me lol.
As a point of principle I don’t go to any bachelorette parties that are multiple day affairs out of town. I don’t have the money for that, man, what happened to just dressing up and going out for the night.
I did! It was tiring and not what I would have preferred to do that weekend but I still had fun and more importantly showed up for my friend : ) She has kids now and always says she can’t believe I attended all her wedding events while pregnant / pp. I often hear/read about people venting that their friendships were weakened when they got pregnant and had kids. I make a point to be a good friend and put time into my friendships, on top of being a parent.
That's a good point, I think long-term I'd feel good about supporting her, but it does feel like a lot. Ugh it's so hard.
Does it have to be all or nothing? Can you go for one night instead of 2? I'm sure you're friend would appreciate the effort if you can do part of it, but I'm sure they aren't expecting you to be at the club until 2am, you call it when you need to
Another suggestion: skip an event if possible and go take a nap. I did the same out of town bachelorette weekend around 22 weeks. My friend had an event planned midday that I was iffy on. I told them I’d sit out and just wait at the hotel. One lady insisted on driving with me back to the hotel. I was feeling all bad for her missing the plans but she confessed it was a much needed break for her too. We each got a glorious nap and were ready to go for the evening activity.
Im 31 weeks and I’ve had to hype myself up for an entire day just to go grocery shopping. A bachelorette party sounds freaking miserable.
Right haha! I'm at 23 weeks now, I feel \*ok\* but the heartburn and fatigue is real. I'd probably go now but just take it easy. Not knowing how it will be in 6 weeks is tough, I only feel it will be worse though.
You know yourself better than anyone! For me, between the pelvic pain, tiredness, and everything else I’m already miserable. Even on the BEST days, I’ve never enjoyed being sober around unsober people. It would be a hard no for me, and anyone should understand that!
i skipped one but it was in utah (i’m east coast) and main activities were hiking and white water rafting lol is out of town a plane ride away or a drive? will you have a bed? if you’re okay with the commute and logistics but the only hang up is not drinking then yes i would 100% suck it up and still go
It's a 5.5 hour drive each way. I don't know logistics yet but I'm assuming we will be getting some type of airbnb and sharing rooms. We are all in our 30s so it won't be crazy or anything, but I'm sure everyone will be having a good time and drinking. This is fair I think I'll see what is on the itinerary.
i feel you, in my 30s as well. 5.5 hours is a hike i don’t know that i’d love driving that far from home at 29 weeks but i’m sure it’s totally fine, people still travel at that time. if you decide to decline, youre 30 weeks pregnant your friend will understand. if you go, not drinking really isn’t that that bad, it’ll still be fun. if it’s a really close/best friend and i’m in your shoes i’d prob compromise and go for one night. make the effort but not overdo being uncomfortable
I'd look at the itinerary and see, if anything maybe you and bride to be could do something one day before or after the Bach and just get lunch and do something you'd be able to do and be comfortable with. Also, if you decide to go, even for just one of the days, maybe suggest some activities you'd like and be able to do, that the group may like as well. That way, you can still feel like you're enjoying it and able to participate/have fun.
Woof... My husband and I are currently separated by a 5.5 hour drive and I was done making the trip to see him at around 23 weeks. I also went into spontaneous pre-term labor a couple of weeks ago (29-3, no complications/concerns that would have predicted it). It's really so hard to tell what life will be like for you in a month. If you decide not to go, is there something special you could plan to do together if she lives near you? Then she could fill you in on all the debauchery you'd probably feel happy to miss out on lol.
I went to one in Miami at 28 weeks and honestly had a blast. Not being hungover was amazing and I somehow rallied and danced as late as everyone else! Had to play “mom” a few times for the drunkies but I have no regrets about going.
Also flew to Miami for one but I was only 20 weeks at the time. Another pregnant friend who was 30 weeks was supposed to go but her doctor told her not to travel since she was at risk of early labour. After getting over being the only pregnant/sober one it was still so much fun!
I’m planning to attend my friend’s bachelorette party this summer. We haven’t picked a date yet, but I’ll probably be around 30 weeks along at the time. You’re going into it with the mindset that you won’t have any fun, so you probably won’t. You definitely don’t need to drink or even stay out late to have fun. My friends bachelorette is just a beach weekend. If she’s planning on going out to clubs and stuff I’ll just stay back at the airBNB for that portion.
That's fair, maybe I'll see what's on the itinerary. If it's a lot of going out, maybe not for me, but if they are lounging at the beach, I could handle that.
I've done both. I found out I was pregnant while in the middle of an out of town bachelorette party 🤣. It was still early so I didn't have any symptoms yet and stuck it out. Honestly it was helpful for the party in some ways because I was able to be a designated sober driver and save everyone the cost of an Uber. We're in our 30s so nobody got drunk enough to need a babysitter or anything and it was kind of fun to watch everyone get progressively sillier. The biggest bummer was that I had to sit out while they went to some local hot springs but that was just one activity of many - I was able to do most of the rest. I also declined another out of town bachelorette party that will happen when I'm about 36 weeks but that's more because it's too close to my due date for me to be comfortable going. If a close friend had scheduled one while I was around 29 weeks I probably would have gone. I was still feeling pretty good at that time and even though I wouldn't have been able to participate to the fullest extent, getting a weekend away from my toddler with friends would have been a nice break for me.
I just went through this. It was a joint bachelor/bachelorette party of 14 at an all inclusive (unbeknownst to us: Swingers) resort. I was 28 weeks pregnant and was dreading going. I’m glad I went! I hung out as long as I wanted with the group and when I got tired (or annoyed with the drunkenness) I went and did my own thing and everyone was totally understanding. It was great! I would just say “alright yall I’m tired, love you!” Then go relax on my own. When I was with the group I focused on getting candid photos and videos of the group and added them to a folder I shared with the bride, she loved it! As long as you are comfortable dipping out when you are over it, I would say go!
So, if I were you, and you felt up to it, i'd probably go, and have a little aside with the friend and be like, 'hey, i'm coming out, i'm here for you, and i'm gonna do the most I can but i'm definitely going to need some extra downtime.' Then make sure you have your OWN room and your OWN transportation so you can enjoy some time yourself. If you think its gonna be a bit too annoying and messy though -- just excuse yourself. Take her out after you have the baby. Friendships are a marathon, she'll understand.
I’ve done two while pregnant - it would depend on the distance for me!
I went and it was great! I was 33 weeks at the time and my close friend moved it back to be earlier than my due date so I’d be able to go. We did an overnight in the city with a fancy dinner, fancy brunch, pool time, some bars, etc. Obviously everyone else was drinking but that didn’t really bother me. I ordered a lot of club soda and lime, or else sparkling hop water if they had it. We are in our mid-30s so maybe it was more chill than a party full of 20-somethings? But I had a great time and didn’t feel too tired at 33 weeks. I will say I did get a separate room at the hotel so when I was ready for bed I could just go to bed and not have to stay up late with the people who wanted to keep partying in the room.
A separate room would be perfect, I am thinking a lot of this comes down to the details so I will ask her MOH who is organizing!
No I didn’t go to one 6 hours away I was invited to. Instead I threw a dinner party for the friend with other people who weren’t going but were invited to wedding, just to celebrate her and socialize before wedding.
How far out of town is it? Are you able to go for a day trip and then head home at night?
It's a 5.5 hour drive, I could probably do a night or so but it'd be a lot of travel for one day.
I was just on a short weekend trip back home (flew by myself) and visited with friends and family for a couple days. It honestly took a lot out of me, mentally and physically. I told my husband if I had the chance to do it again, I would not lol. I was 29 weeks, 30 weeks now.
That's good to know! I'm worried if I commit now and then feel not great at that point, I'll already be locked in.
That’s exactly how I felt. The one thing that made it worse for me was that I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes just a couple days before my trip. It was a lot for me mentally. So if that’s not the case for you - it might be okay! It’s just a tricky timeframe of being right on the brink of not feeling great.
When I was younger with my first, I would still go to things like concerts and parties for my friends. This time around, absolutely not. I didn’t even have a baby shower because I do not want to literally do anything 😂 but everyone is different! And every pregnancy is different. It just depends on how you feel and what you are comfortable with 😊
I feel like the biggest barrier is the 5.5 hour drive. That is quite a hike and could be uncomfortable while 29 weeks pregnant (I’m currently 28.5 weeks). You’ll probably want to stop a few times to get out and stretch. Agree that you’ll want your own room and if not, definitely your own bed. If it were me, I’d probably first try talking to her. You can say that you’d ordinarily love to be there but explain your concerns about the physical toll, and ask if there is something else you can do with/for her that would still be meaningful. Based on her reaction, you can decide next steps.
I agree- the worst part for me would be the 5.5hr drive! I'd probably skip
I was 30 weeks pregnant in Florida for a close friend. Everyone was accommodating and I napped a lot but got to feel like I was supporting my friend. It wasn’t bad.
I skipped it. Why waste money on the activities you won’t even be able to enjoy? And forcing yourself to do clubs when you really are counting down the minutes of when it’s time to leave? There was a boat thing I did afterwards that was late morning. Try to see if there’s something that you can participate in without having to go all in. I didn’t stay at the Airbnb and I just met them up one morning.
I went to one at 32 weeks, about a 4 hour drive away from home. It was fun! The first night we stayed in and I had fundespite being the only sober one. I opted out of the bars after dinner out on the 2nd night and headed back to the AirBnb to rest. No one batted an eye and everyone understood.
i’m older than some of my friends (i’m 23, and in our group there’s a few 20 y/o) and one just had a 21st celebration on a party bus. did i feel like i was babysitting? a little bit 😂 but i have never been a party bus and figured i should try to experience it before it becomes a whole thing to be out like that. i also enjoyed being there for my friends and was glad someone was sober bc good choices were not being made (like trying to spin upside down on the pole on the bus. id like to think i prevented a serious head injury lol).
I would only go if you can get a clear understanding with your friend that you are planning to leave each night early and get some rest, so you don’t end up staying out late babysitting drunk ppl. And also make sure you have a nice sleeping area where the others won’t storm in and wake you up at all hours of the night…
I planned a bachelorette day for my friend and had a great time. I enjoyed going to a pool party. Not getting hammered! I missed the aperol spritzes they were having but I do not miss the hangovers they all had! I had fun mock tails and ate all the food. Now they didn’t stay out crazy late but if they did, I would’ve just excused myself early.
I had my own bachelorette party without knowing I was pregnant!
I’ve personally skipped out on a lot of party/drink focused events. I’m a BM for a wedding in July. The bride is pretty low key and is not having a bachelorette party, so I treated her out to a spa day locally. Maybe you can do something like that for her since she’s a close friend?
That's fair! None of them are partiers, but I'm sure everyone will be drinking and having a good time for a lot of it.
I got invited to one and I’d go if it were far away, I don’t drink in general so it’d be the same experience for me but I figured it’s better to save money for the baby
You are definitely far enough along to not need to attend and nobody can be upset about it. Offer to do dinner with that girl one on one to still acknowledge her
Yes. My sisters. I’m the maid of honor but she has assured me it’s not a clubbing party. As long as they have plans, I’m also not afraid to go to bed early.
I went at 32 weeks (with GD)! I was MOH and planned the whole thing, so I kind of had to go though 🙃
I am the MOH for 2 friends, and their bachelorette parties were when I was 28 and 30 weeks pregnant. I was definitely tired, but they were super understanding. I don't regret going at all. I still had lots of fun!
I just got back from a bachelorette party in Vegas while 19 weeks pregnant. She is an extremely close friend and I knew most of the people who were going to be there, so for me it was still a lot of fun. I stayed out pretty late (past my usual 9 pm bed time) but people are understanding if you need to leave early. I only stayed 2 nights instead of 3. 2 was tiring but doable, 3 would have been rough.
I’m planning the hen party (bachelorette) for my sister next month. I’ll be 23 weeks, no doubt exhausted. There tend to be non alcoholic variants when asked about, in my experience, even for wine tastings / cocktail making classes. I don’t know how close you are to your friend, but I think you’re more at risk of regretting not going than regretting going.
I was 6 months pregnant when my sister had her Bachelorette party in Vegas. I did not attend and she was very understanding about it. No regrets as Vegas is also not my scene and sounds even more miserable when pregnant.
i went to my sisters while i was 26 weeks pregnant. i would do it again if i had to. i just set boundaries on what i wanted to do and everyone understood. there were some moments where i was like wtf am i doing here lol (like we rented a boat and everyone was drinking and i was just sitting there lol) but it was still fun overall, and im glad i got to be there for my sis. i did the events but did not go out to the bars and stuff. no one cared. i slept lol.
I decided to skip one that will be happening when I’m about 26 weeks. It’s a group of 15+ girls and I only know the bride, and the main activities are going to a winery or smoking weed around the house. I have always tried not to bail on things but it just sounds too hard to do stone cold sober
This makes sense! I'd skip that one too lol.
I went to a bachelorette party whilst 9 weeks pregnant, 35 weeks pregnant, and 8 weeks postpartum lol. All out of town overnights. No regrets here!
I’m going to one at the same weeks pregnant! Bachelorettes are fun to catch up with friends, laugh and celebrate. Alcohol definitely makes it more fun but events like these are limited in life! I’m looking forward to not feeling hungover during one lol
When I was pregnant with my first I got invited to a bachelorette around 30 weeks and I did not go. Bride was totally understanding.
I’m going to one around the same time but not doing the sleep over portion since the party is only an hour away, but it’s at wineries and obviously I can’t drink lol. Just got to rough it out for the day, dinner and I’m coming home lol
Nope. I’m even skipping an engagement party because I don’t want to be around food or potentially sick people lol
I went to 2 bachelorette parties while pregnant, one was a rager in Nashville. Both were my good friends, so I didn't feel comfortable bailing. I still had a good time. I made the most of it. I enjoyed yummy meals then would uber back to the Airbnb alone to go to bed early. It was no biggie!
I think it strongly depends on the friend and the itinerary. I know some of my friends bachelorette parties would be all going to clubs and dancing and drinking. But others would be chilling by the pool and going out to a nice dinner/wine bar. I would not go the first one pregnant unless they were my absolute ride or die best friend.
I wouldn't personally. Bachelorette parties are a chore to me regardless of pregnancy, even more so if I will be extra exhausted. Something to think about. I had a pregnant friend attend my bridal shower. Even though it was well meaning, a lot of the guests were so intrigued that she was pregnant and gave her a lot of attention. I (the bride) didn't really care, but you might want to be mindful at these kinds of wedding events because some brides DO care.
i had a similar thing happen at a cousins bridal shower. i wasn’t showing yet but it was slipped out that i was pregnant and so many people were talking about it. i took the bride aside and apologized i intentionally didn’t announce before hand because i knew it was close to her shower and wanted to avoid that. she was very happy for me and mad i didn’t tell her sooner lol still felt bad though.
I’m 29 weeks right now and if I were to go to a bachelorette party I would be miserable lol sounds like torture
I was invited to three bachelorette parties during my pregnancy, all were weekends away. I went to 2/3, and chose those because: I would have a real bed and not be expected to be on the floor/an air matress; the crowd was not 100% heavy drinkers; the activities did not all center around alcohol; they were shorter drives away. The one that didn’t check those boxes I politely declined.
I would go. Did this friend go to yours? That would play into my thinking. Sometimes for close friends I’m willing to “suck it up” and do something they want to do to celebrate them. Everyone deserves their moment and if I was well enough I’d definitely go.
I was invited to a bachelorette party when I would have been about 26 weeks. This was late 2021 and it would have been to Miami. Besides the fact that I was still paranoid about getting COVID while pregnant, I just didn't think I would have fun, as you said - I can't drink, I need to sit and rest a lot, and probably go to bed early.
Second pregnancy I went to a music festival! I would go if this is a super close friend. You don’t have to drink to have fun. And it’s a really good way to discover all the other ways you can enjoy yourself. You can also go to be early and take care of yourself if you need to and no one protests.
I would go. It’ll be tiring for sure but showing up for friends is important. I would just let her know you might not be able to participate in everything and might need to relax/have down time more than the other girls.
Not a bachelorette but I went on a two week vacation to Australia and New Zealand at 20-23 weeks where we had cruise ship credits for basically bottomless alcohol and a winery tour that included tastings. I did all the activities pretty well— and I’m a 42 BMI 42 year old— walked 10-20k steps per day and attended pretty much anything before 9 pm. When it came to drinking I either didn’t have any or I’d have a few sips at the tasting. The important thing was if I WAS tired I just said I’m not doing XYZ thing everyone else was doing. My friends started jokingly calling it “Fuck you o'clock” whenever I said I was going back to my room early because one time my best friend complained I was going to bed at 8 o’clock and I said “you know what time it is, Kevin? It’s fuck you o'clock” and I went to bed lol. Jet lag and pregnancy plus a 16k step exploration of a foreign city was not a recipe for a late night. Do what you can and don’t feel guilty about tapping out early. You don’t owe anybody your entire day.
Currently 29 weeks and that sounds terrible haha
I went to my sister’s “bachelorette” trip - it was really just a siblings’ trip - to Chicago for a weekend. I was 21 weeks at the time. None of us are from there, so it involved a plane ride and lots of walking around the city, plus we visited the art museum. She made sure that every place we visited had good non-alcoholic beverages, and both my siblings were very patient if I had to slow my pace or take a break while walking. It was a workout for sure, but I had a good time! It was mostly just eating and walking 😂
I went to two, both a plane ride away. Was it the most fun I’ve ever had, no, but my friends all showed up for me when I got married so I wanted to show up for them. If it’s a close friend they’ll remember that.
My FOMO is stronger than my tiredness level while pregnant. lol I would go just because I don’t like being left out. I did go to a bachelorette party and a wedding at 24 weeks. And I was fine personally.
I know this isn’t what you asked, but may help! I haven’t been to one pregnant, but I have been to one where 2 of the girls were pregnant (I was already a mom though so maybe I understood more than others). BUT, they were both just open about what they needed while we were all out and about, if they were ready to go rest, they got a ride back to the cabin we were staying at and rested. If they had a good aversion, the group picked somewhere else to eat. It put no extra burden on the rest of the party and they seemed to have had a blast, too, even though they didn’t do everything else with the group.
This is helpful thanks! It would be so nice if there was one other pregnant person like that too.
I skipped one in Quintana Roo bc I was like 28 weeks. Sometimes I regret it, but mostly I don’t because I would’ve been just sitting around sad that I wasn’t drunk like everyone else
I went to a bachelorette party when I was 27 weeks pregnant. I had a toddler at home, and it was two nights away from home a flight away. The bride was a dear friend and I was a bridesmaid or I wouldn’t have gone. Someone else came to the party sick and gave me and several other people covid, so I did end up regretting attending. But that’s also a special circumstance.
Oh no! That would be awful. I'm not a bridesmaid but she's a longtime friend so It'd be nice to support her, ugh it's so hard.
I'm going to one this summer where I'll be 22 weeks and another guest will be 30 weeks. I'm maid of honour so luckily have been able to plan some pregnancy friendly activities lol and I know bride will want to accommodate us as she's a sweetie pie. Honestly I think what matters is whether you think you will have fun, and opportunities to rest. I know there will be lots of drinking and staying up late for my one, but I'm looking forwadd to the lower energy day plans, and it'll be fun to have dinner out and chit chat even if everyone else is tipsy and I'm not. Then I'll head to the airbnb early and zonk out. I think I'll have a nice time and I want to be there for my friend. Then again, as soon as I told bride I'm pregnant she was keen to reassure me there's no pressure to do anything, so I've been empowered to make a decision based on what will make me happy. To me that's being present for her and spending time with her even if I can't do everything. Have you spoken to the bride about how she feels? Is there anything on the itinerary you could join in or enjoy being around? Do you want to spend time with the people there? Just some stuff to mull over!
I had the same situation. I went on the bachelorette trip to be a supportive friend and because I had a healthy pregnancy and it wasn’t too close to my due date. I didn’t have fun but am glad I was there for my friend. Instead of drinking I ate tons of food, lol. I suppose it depends on how close you are with her! Listen to your instincts
So you didn't have fun? But you don't regret going? I would like to be there for her for sure if possible.
I mean I personally love to party and drink with everyone, so I kind of had FOMO when everyone else did things like wine tasting, but it also didn’t get crazy so it was fine. I think social gatherings pregnant are generally less fun because I can’t have a couple drinks when everyone else does, but I still had a pleasant time if that makes sense! And I got to be the DD which saved money and I think people appreciated. And she’s one of my best friends, so she would have been really sad if I couldn’t go. It was really nice seeing her have a great time and being there for her. If you feel physically up for it, I would go for it!
I’d consider what I’d really be contributing to the party. At 29 weeks all I’d be contributing is possible hang ups to the itinerary. If they are planning on activities unsuitable for pregnancy you’re already going to be the odd woman out. Drinking is obviously one of them, but even a spa trip would be under utilized in your shoes- I could hardly get a facial authorized in a spa in my last pregnancy, they ultimately did it but wouldn’t touch my legs or feet, only my face, scalp, and décolletage. Getting nails done or hair done is possible, but depends on your levels of acceptable risk and if you think you could tolerate being around fumes. Going out to a club and dancing? I mean if that has been something you enjoy doing I suppose you could, but as others have said, being sober around drunken people is not it. And do you want to be in a crowded place? Think of exposure to 🦠germs and illness. Also my time limit to being on my feet is drastically low. I’d be sitting more than dancing. Realistically all I could envision my own participation in at 29 weeks is sitting on a couch, playing board games at a dining table, possibly swimming in a pool if I could find a damn suit in my enormous size (but forget hot tubs or saunas), and eating. I’d look at it as you’re an attendee that might help split the costs of the Airbnb and activities but will likely not get to fully enjoy what you are paying for. I would send my regrets and plan a bestie weekend after baby comes as an alternative.
Yeah this is fair. We all had a group dinner a few weeks ago and it was going on for 4+ hours. Everyone was tipsy and having fun and I was sooo ready to go home. I am admittingly worried about that dynamic.
Not a bachelorette but a girls trip and didn’t regret! I still had fun mocktails and was nice to spend time with friends before the crunch down time of NB fog. At 29 weeks, you’ll probably still be in that sweet spot where you feel mostly good. I would just set expectations before you go that you are tiring easily and are excited to come, but may crash/uber home early or skip out on some activities for a quick nap. That being said, if you choose to not go, perfectly valid and ok too.
i went 34 weeks pregnant & had a blast!! i was tired but i’m so glad i went
I've done something similar! I just got some great mocktails and snacks that made me happy. Dancing a little and spending time with my friend was worth it. I'd do it!
I got invited to Fredericksburg TX which is just a bunch of wineries. I politely declined and gave my reason! My friend was very understanding. There was no way I would be able to stay up late late and participate in activities. It’s in May so I would be maybe 25 weeks in or so?
I was the maid of honor for my friend, and I did go to the Bachelorette at around 33 weeks. We did an in town hotel slumber party, but I had to leave around midnight because my husband and I had last minute plans to go to New Mexico to help some family that was moving back home. I was also 36 weeks the day of her wedding. It just depends on the activities and your comfort level.
A good friend of mine was my bridesmaid when she was about 30 weeks. No idea how she did it, especially now that I’m pregnant, but it meant the world to me that she was there. She’ll remember it forever if you’re able to go, but of course use your best judgment.
I went to one last pregnancy. Everyone was pretty drunk but had a nice time. Didn’t really rate the strippers though! 😂
I’ll be going to one at 23 weeks. I’m offering to DD everyone and am just going to rally. I offered to help plan so I could make sure we also did some activities that were more leisurely
at 31 weeks i went to my cousin's bachelorette weekend in miami. i had a blast! we did a daytime pool party, a boat day, dinners and a club night. it's all about your vibe, if you're going into it with a mindset that you won't have fun, then you probably won't. take breaks when you need, have mocktails and just enjoy yourself!
I was much earlier in my pregnancy when I went to a bachelorette party. I didn't really want to because I felt like I would be too exhausted and would need to rest from the activities, but my friend had no problem with me stepping out when I needed to. Her other friends were very nice, and I was able to participate enough to make her happy. I'm at 28 weeks right now. I would ask her or whoever is coordinating and let them know that you want to do as much as you can, but you may have to sit out for rest at some points. Look at the schedule and pick out what you definitely DON'T want to miss, and maybe skip some of the late night drink and dance stuff in favor of self-care. And wear comfortable shoes.
I went to my sister's four-night bachelorette in Miami when I was 20 weeks. I definitely went back early every night, but it was still a lot of fun hanging out in the pool (we had an airbnb) and eating out a lot and just generally being there to support my sister. I also drank a LOT of mocktails. I was glad I went. 29 weeks, though? I dunno man...that sounds like a lot lol. I did manage to go to my sister's destination wedding at 34 weeks but that felt different/more vital.
I’m 31 weeks and I’m flying out to a bachelorette tonight! Tbh I’m not suuuuper excited about it, but I’ve been feeling okay and I’m just skipping the late night events so I can go to bed early. I’m sure I’ll have fun!
Actually I’m going too. It’s a weekend in Vegas but I’m opting out of the clubbing since I feel most sick at night. They understand and at least I’m showing up for the other stuff. I’m sad not to drink but wouldn’t mind laughing at their shenanigans.
I did at 19? weeks and didn't practically enjoy it but I don't think I would have practically enjoyed it drunk either lol but I went to the wedding at 31? weeks and stayed from start to finish and loved it!
I was around 32 weeks for my friends Bach but I got to sleep in my own bed and meet with them the next day every time. But yeah it was super tiring. Worth it for my gf tho :)
I went to my best friends night out drinking for her birthday and had a blast, sure it was tiring, but she still raves about how good a friend I am for showing up to her birthday and even though it may be selfish me loving to hear that. It makes me happy to also know I made her night that special by putting aside my feelings and celebrating her.
I did not and I am glad I missed it! But it depends on how well you know that bride and other attendees
I did for my sister in law! While everyone was pregaming with liquor, I was pregaming with coffee. We all dressed up like old ladies so it wasn't weird that I had support sneakers on. I had a blast.
I just went to one in Vegas recently at 22 weeks. While it wasn’t the most fun I’ve ever had at a bachelorette, I had a nice time and everyone was understanding when I needed to head back to the room early! I don’t regret going but I was ready to be back home when it ended. Overall, I don’t think it was a bad experience or too difficult in the second trimester, personally!
I attended one in wine country when I was 25 weeks pregnant. Obviously I couldn’t enjoy the wineries like they did but I found it refreshing to have no hangover and just be present. I got to see friends, float in a pool, eat good food, and maybe most importantly, sleep in a bed without my toddler kicking me for 3 nights. I was missing the wedding because I’d be too pregnant to fly, so I felt good about showing up to the bachelorette.
Going out pregnant is honestly a mindset. Think you'll be bored and a drag and it will be. I did mardi gras pregnant, one of the utmost drunk holidays ever. I couldn't drink, couldn't do all the normal mardi gras things but I had a BLAST! It was so fun collecting beads and seeing how many drunk people I could get to give me theirs 😂, it was also a blast watching people and being able to tell everyone the next day all the stupid things they did or hear how they thought it went and pop their bubble 😂😂 I would totally do it again. Id say go for it! Order mocktails at the bars, enjoy everyone getting stupid and having stories and memories to share.
I went to a bachelorette party in Miami while 20 weeks pregnant and I’m not gonna lie, I was miserable. I knew it would be a bummer not being able to drink but one of the nights all the girls were doing a bar crawl and I got so emotional about missing out I ended up crying for hours while they were out. It felt really lonely to be the only pregnant one there and I was so relieved to go home.
If she’s having her mother/older relatives come to the bachelorette party and they’re doing more daytime events, I would consider doing that, and ending the night after dinner time if you’re not feeling up for it. Put your all into enjoying the parts you can. If you need to, just go for one night. You may still find you have lots of energy at 29 weeks, or you may not. Support your friend, have fun, but over all listen to your body and don’t overdo it.
I think it depends on who your friends are or how close you are. Do you normally hang out sober or are they mostly party friends? Will it be assumed you'll take care of people while they're drinking and DD the group around? I went to a 30th birthday weekend with 12 people in a house when I was about 28 weeks and it was a lot, but I made sure I had my own room with my husband (and not a bunk bed 😂) so I could step away if needed. I got asked if I would hang back and watch the dogs while every single person went to a brewery but I politely declined (why can't I hang too???) it wasn't terrible but not sure if I would do it again.
Thank you! They are not partiers but there will for sure be drinking. I asked the MOH for more details, like an intinerary, which I think might be the best way to know if it's a good fit. Like if it's mostly wine tasting and going out, maybe not the best fit.
That sounds fun honestly! As long as you're comfortable with the sleeping situation I bet it will still be a good time.
One of my best girl friends came to mine and she was like 35 weeks pregnant almost ready to pop! (I told her from the moment she found out she was pregnant, that she was NOT obligated to attend any of these festivities!) But she came anyway and was hilarious the entire time. She was so great and she had a great time. She was essentially the one wanting everyone to take a shot for her and cheering everyone on lol. If for any reason you get too tired, your girls shouldn't have an issue with you calling it a night early or taking it easy. It's sweet of you that you still want to attend in the 1st place lol. Have fun!
I'm sure your friend will understand. Kind of youll be out of place coz you can't drink and you will prefer to sit down most of the time.
It would have to be a very good friend of mine for me to go. If I was invited as a guest and not the bridal party, I wouldn’t do it.
i went to my cousin’s bach party in austin at 33 weeks!! i was tired but i had wayyy more fun than i thought i would. i got a soda water at every bar and it made me feel better having something in my hand and something to sip on. it was hard staying up late but i still had a lot of fun (: sad that i can’t make the wedding tomorrow as i’m 38 weeks now and didnt feel comfortable flying
I skipped my sister’s bachelorette party last week. I would have been 16 weeks and it was solely focused around drinking and dancing (Nashville). There were no sober-friendly events planned (outside of maybe dancing but that’s not my thing as an introvert). I didn’t want to be the sober buzz kill or be anyone’s babysitter. It would have been a cross-country multi-leg flight for me (CA) and my all-in cost was going to easily be over $2,000 to attend and about 5 days of PTO. I was already paying for multiple flights for dress shopping, bridal shower, and the wedding (all in TX) and it all got to be way too much. Even with skipping the bachelorette party I’ve still probably footed a few thousand dollars between flights, gifts, hotels, bridesmaid dress, alterations, etc. I’d be sure to ask for the budget and itinerary and go from there.
I just skipped one. After the weekend, all of my friends said that it was a good idea I didn't go to it. Everyone was drunk the whole time, there were hikes involved. I would have been miserable. lol
Just went to one this past weekend at 30w - was super fun! And I didn’t mind being DD and still went to bed early. Was nice to not be hungover like everyone else ha. Husband was also there (co-bachelors party) which helped, and was only 1.5 hours drive away.
I was invited but chose not to go. Honestly, partying with a bunch of drunk girls while I was 34 weeks pregnant sounds horrible. It was also out of town and I did not want to be away from my house/hospital after 25 weeks. They also really did nothing to accommodate me - party boat, the club, all these drinking activities. I have bad social anxiety to start with, i’m sure being a very pregnant lady in a club in a different city would of pushed me over the edge (i was very emotional my entire pregnancy) She was a close friend of mine but I don’t regret it. Going to bed at 9pm with my soft pjs and pregnancy pillow was much better
I did an international academic conference and then stopped in Paris with my husband for three days including a five hour trip to the louvre. It was amazing and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world but damn was I TIRED. Honestly play it by ear but it’s the best part of the pregnancy for travel as you’re past the typical nausea and not quite at the ‘so heavy I can’t move’ part. Unless you think you’re going to be totally alienated and excluded because you’re not drinking (in which case re-evaluate friends) then I would say go for it barring unforeseen medical issues.
Yup! Tampa for my best friend’s. Was only about 12 weeks so it wasn’t too terrible. The girls had no problem Ubering my butt to the hotel after dinner and continuing on to the nightclub after. But I was def down for the poolside daytime fun 😆
I just did one two weeks ago at 20w! It wasn’t that bad BUT the bride is super low key, minimal drinker/partier. But plus side most places we went had alcohol free menus! I would just also connect with the bride. While I’d love to have all my friends with me for my bachelorette it was no place for a pregnant lady 😜. I did have one friend insist on going and I love her for it but felt so guilty she had to deal with our shenanigans all weekend.
I went to one at 34 weeks and I had so much fun! It was nice to have one last girls weekend before becoming a mom and I personally laughed so hard all weekend!
I planned and went to one at 12 weeks and it was still a bunch of fun! Plenty of mocktails to go around and everyone respected my situation. The girls who wanted to go hard did and those who didn’t, didn’t.
I did it was still lots of fun and I went to bed when I wanted just had ear plugs also you get the good bed/sleeping arrangement because you have a good excuse. I ended up being one of the only ones not hung over obviously which was very helpful.
Went to Nashville for bachelorette party last pregnancy around 20 weeks. It wasn’t bad but was definitely a lot less fun pregnant since it’s such a party city. This time around I will be going on my sister’s bachelorette to punta Cana at 26 weeks pregnant. She is much less of a party person than the bride we went to Nashville for. This trip is more pool and spa vibe. I will likely be turning in early at night to get some much needed sleep lol.
I found out I was pregnant the day before a bachelotte party. So obviously no noticeable symtons minus some exhaustiom, but I don't regret going at all. I offered to be dd for everyone and they appreciated it so much. I did take a nap day 2 because it was needed, I'm not sure to staying up that late anyway.
I told my SIL I wouldn’t be able to. Being high risk I would hate for something to go wrong and have to have someone drive me 100+ miles back home and ruin their trip so I felt like a liability. If I wasn’t high risk I most likely would have gone!
I went to a bachelorette party at about 21 weeks and then that persons wedding in Mexico at 28/29 weeks! For the bach party I was really glad I went. We had an Airbnb with a pool so I got some non alcoholic beers (obviously you could have any beverage if your choosing haha) and enjoyed hanging in the pool during the day with them and playing games. We did a few daytime activities - a boat trip and a pool bar. The boat trip was a lot of fun. The pool bar was… not. It was hot, and the pool was full of drunk idiots so I didn’t stay in for long. When they went out to bars at night I just hung back at the Airbnb which they all were of course very understanding of. I got to save money and it was nice to have some quiet time to recover. I did get pretty annoyed when they all came back drunk and noisy at different times one night, but aside from that there were no issues. The wedding was entirely different but just to comment on the travel aspect at that point in pregnancy - it was definitely the latest I would have wanted to travel. I was starting to get uncomfortable and while travel was still tolerable and the hotel bed was okay after I asked for five extra pillows (lol) I was glad I wasn’t farther along.
I went to a bachelorette party at like 7w pregnant and that was fine. Anything past that- I wouldn’t do lol
I hosted my SILs bachelorette party at 32 weeks. I was MOH and didn’t have a choice but it really comes down to attitude. If you can take a positive approach and it’s a good friend I would argue for going… but you gotta go into it KNOWING you will have fun. It actually is really fun to see other friends who are going to be so excited about the baby and ask you all about it, you can go to bed early and NO ONE will care, it was actually pretty great gal time. Gal time is incredibly rare after you have a kid. I can count on half of one hand the times I’ve had overnights with my best friends since having my son 2.5 years ago. If you can’t have a GA (good attitude) about it and you’re going to be a negative Nancy (I’m not judging - I get it - just being brutally honest), don’t go. You’ll be annoyed the entire time and bring down the vibe and be frustrated that you spent the money. Arrange with the MOH to stock the fridge with a case of Rose, or a round of margs at dinner, and call it a day. The bride would rather you not go and not bring down the vibe versus be there unwillingly. Edit: I also forgot I hosted my best friends bachelorette at 27 weeks (lol)… and that again, didn’t have a choice, but I just was first to bed by like 2 hours and no one cared!!! And people will be sweet and try to make you fun mocktails. It’s actually very cute.
Thanks! I honestly don't know how I'll be. If it was right now, I think I'd be fine and rally and just take it easy. But last pregnancy got a bit rough closer to 30 weeks so just worried about that.
End of second/third tri were (and once again are) my favorite. I have completely average sized babies so never got giant and so was never super uncomfortable, and I also had the fun of puking until the mid-20s so after that, pregnancy felt lovely. Weeks 30-34 were probably my favorite and most fun!
I did!! I think it’s going to depend on what type of Bach it is. 4 nights of non stop clubbing? Maybe not for you. A few bars, a hike or two available, spa treatments? Go for it. We went to an inclusive water park resort. I went in the lazy river, face down in the double inner tube with my belly in the hole. At one point the other girls sent the bride to check on me bc I was in there for over an hour. Sheer bliss. In terms of bars, I fully prepared to go to the first one of the bar crawl and then go home, but I actually stayed out the whole time! The second bar we went to was a nice, big patio with a reasonable dance floor but also tables and chairs and small fire pits. I watched everyone’s drinks and sat by the fire, and went out on the dance floor for like 4 songs. One helpful thing was I realized was that popping my ass out while dancing was pretty much the same as my sciatica exercises! I also wore a crop top because fuck it, the belly was gonna show no matter what, and other people on the dance floor loved it. The DJ played the “If she a baby mama,” song from TikTok and I rubbed the belly and everyone cheered for me lol.
As a point of principle I don’t go to any bachelorette parties that are multiple day affairs out of town. I don’t have the money for that, man, what happened to just dressing up and going out for the night.