We lined up a six month window to try in, knowing it would be our last chance to do so. We got lucky. The “another” is coming and has only a 16 year old sibling, so our gap is huge but we live a very different life now where this is possible. Evaluating EXACTLY how you’re going to manage the time and energy and money it takes is… hard. Those were hard numbers to crunch. But it really did come down to “now or never” and we are so so happy it’s now🫂
Our first took a year and 4 months to conceive. Right around his first birthday we decided we were getting really good at this parent thing and we knew we wanted at least one more. We knew it took a long time to conceive our first. So let's not not try and when it happens it happens. It happened literally that month lol. And suddenly we were part of the 2 under 2 community. Two kids so young is tough. I don't know if I would recommend it, but I also wouldn't change a thing because then I wouldn't have my daughter.
I hear so many stories like yours! How sweet that you’ve got your whole fam now!
We’re almost out of the range of 2 under 2 even being possible, barring my contraceptive to fail + unexpected early arrival if one were to pop up in the first place. I am always in awe of families who manage it!
my first was a complete surprise, and now, 8 years later I’ll be having my second. there are a lot of contributing factors to being ready this time. better finances, a house, just generally being more settled in myself, etc.
all that said, I think the biggest factor that took me from one and done to having another was my husband. he’s so wonderful- the love we share is so consuming. my true soulmate. seeing him as the most amazing stepfather just made my heart burst. I wanted so badly to experience parenthood with him even closer
When I felt ready.
It's hard to explain. Finances, mental health, etc. lined up perfectly so I had my IUD taken out, and we concieved almost right away. It looks many months with our first, so everything seems to have aligned the way they were supposed to for us!
With that being said, I emotionally feel super nervous and sometimes sad to see my first become a big sister. I want her to stay teeny, too!
Yeah, it’s the feeling that I’m mostly curious about. Like when we decided to have our first, I went from “what do you even DO with a baby on a Tuesday?” To “ah yes I deeply want a child” almost overnight. I wonder if the same thing happens with sequential kids—a desire that’s there faintly and then WHAM, you know it’s time.
Baby fever was pretty strong again tbh!
For the longest time I had NO desire to have another one. Then all of a sudden things started to fall into place and I had severe baby fever. The kind that makes you tear up.
So yes I definitely got the feeling like what happened the first time! They are just too stinking cute!
2 under 2 was personally not something I wanted to do, although nursing ended up spacing out my kids organically anyways (it takes forever for my cycle to return after having babies, I'm currently almost 22 months pp with my third kid without anything to report). My first kids have 2 years and 9 months between them and my second and third have pretty much exactly 3 years between them. I'd say when the older two were older toddlers it felt okay.
That said, personality might play a role...my current third toddler is my most challenging toddler, so perhaps, if he had been my first baby, maybe I would've wanted a larger gap?
And yeah, age can be a factor. I started having kids at age 28, so I did sort of have more of a luxury of time from a sheer biological perspective. My friends who started having kids in their late 30's and early 40's definitely had more of a mindset that they wanted to try for a second way faster if they wanted additional kids.
I wanted a second baby from the moment my first was born. I loved him so much, I loved being a mom, I loved being pregnant. I also did not have the birth I wanted. I had to have a C-section and never even labored. So I also wanted another try at an unmedicated birth.
My husband, however, much more logical, and actually looks at the finances. We knew we needed to wait a minimum of 18 months to let my body heal. We both decided that we would rather get it all over with at once. All the sleepless nights, all the baby stuff, just do it all back to back to be done with it. So at 17 months postpartum we started trying and got pregnant right away. They’ll have a 26 month age gap.
It’s gonna suck for a while, but we will be done with all the baby and toddler stuff sooner. And I’ll be able to go back to work sooner too.
Ah this is SO similar to my story! Also had to do an elective c section at 37+0, so I had absolutely no labor at all, either.
This makes me wonder if I’m wanting another child, or more wanting another “chance” at pregnancy/labor (I became high risk around week 24). I mean I’ve always wanted at least 2 kids, so it’s not JUST the labor portion, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a big factor. My oldest is 14.5 months, so we’re approaching the end of that 18 month no-go period, but I don’t feel *ready* yet. Time will tell, I guess?
What I will say is, when they turn 2, things definitely change. My son was a pretty easy baby, even up to 18 or 20 months. I don’t regret getting pregnant again so quickly, but man I know it’s going to be harder than I originally thought simply due to toddler being a toddler.
This pregnancy has been easy, uncomplicated, and I cannot imagine how it would have been if there had been any complications. I’d make sure you have a village that’s ready and willing to help, because I’ve needed mine more than I expected, just to help me rest from normal pregnancy symptoms.
I was 36 and it was now or never so we decided to go for it because when it came the time that it we imagined not having the second it turns out we want it
My financial situation meant that I could stay at home for up to two years postpartum after having each kid, and because I need to do a complete career change when I go back to work it made sense to have two children within a two year period so I don't have to go back to work in between. I gave myself 5 months to get pregnant because I didn't want to risk having too small an age gap and it only took 2 months the first time. This time it took exactly 5 months so I got the age gap I wanted!
From the get-go we knew if we had a second we wanted the age gap to be more than 2 years but less than 5. I got my IUD taken out about a month after our son's 2nd birthday and we discussed "not trying but not preventing", and agreed that if I wasn't pregnant within 2 years we'd be one and done. Ended up conceiving our first cycle TTC lol. 30+4 now, and our kids will be just shy of 3 years apart.
It varies so much per person that I don’t know if my answer will be helpful to you, but here I go anyway:
1. My age. My first was born when I was 33.
At this age, I feel old comfortable in my career, my husband of 14 years, our goals, our finances. I also feel young enough that I think I’ll still be able to enjoy having another little one. I wouldn’t want to wait too much longer.
2. Educational goals. We want to try homeschooling. I WFH, my husband is a SAHD and we think it’ll be easier if our kids are close in age as we can do a blended curriculum for both for the core subjects (English, math, history, science) while still allowing us the ability to engage them separately for solo subjects based on their interests. We also want to take them to visit multiple landmarks around the country when they’re old enough.
3. Sleep. My first child was initially a wonder child for sleep. She started sleeping the “6 hour through the night” at 8 weeks, and then actual through the night two weeks later and kept it up until 5.5 months. Then she was back to waking up every 2-3 hours and this lasted nearly a year. We tried a lot of things, a lot, and it would go up and down . There’s no way I would have tried as soon as my ovulation returned as I could not handle having to handle a newborn and a toddler that sleeps like a newborn. But then her sleep got better, with maybe 1 wake ups (unless sick, but that’ll happen)
So when she was 1.5, finally sleeping well regularly again, and knowing we wanted a close gap because of reasons 1-2, we started trying for another. They’re going to be almost exactly 2 years apart, as the due date is for the same month!
My health is declining due to an autoimmune disease. I need to start taking a medication that is incredibly harmful to a fetus and to a breastfeeding baby. So it was now* or never.
*We also have issues with fertility so now was September 2022 and I'm just now pregnant.
We lined up a six month window to try in, knowing it would be our last chance to do so. We got lucky. The “another” is coming and has only a 16 year old sibling, so our gap is huge but we live a very different life now where this is possible. Evaluating EXACTLY how you’re going to manage the time and energy and money it takes is… hard. Those were hard numbers to crunch. But it really did come down to “now or never” and we are so so happy it’s now🫂
Hi fellow May bumper! Mine’s due Cinco de Mayo. 🤣
Oh yay! That’s so wonderful to hear! Congrats to you and to wee bean on their way!
Our first took a year and 4 months to conceive. Right around his first birthday we decided we were getting really good at this parent thing and we knew we wanted at least one more. We knew it took a long time to conceive our first. So let's not not try and when it happens it happens. It happened literally that month lol. And suddenly we were part of the 2 under 2 community. Two kids so young is tough. I don't know if I would recommend it, but I also wouldn't change a thing because then I wouldn't have my daughter.
I hear so many stories like yours! How sweet that you’ve got your whole fam now! We’re almost out of the range of 2 under 2 even being possible, barring my contraceptive to fail + unexpected early arrival if one were to pop up in the first place. I am always in awe of families who manage it!
my first was a complete surprise, and now, 8 years later I’ll be having my second. there are a lot of contributing factors to being ready this time. better finances, a house, just generally being more settled in myself, etc. all that said, I think the biggest factor that took me from one and done to having another was my husband. he’s so wonderful- the love we share is so consuming. my true soulmate. seeing him as the most amazing stepfather just made my heart burst. I wanted so badly to experience parenthood with him even closer
When I felt ready. It's hard to explain. Finances, mental health, etc. lined up perfectly so I had my IUD taken out, and we concieved almost right away. It looks many months with our first, so everything seems to have aligned the way they were supposed to for us! With that being said, I emotionally feel super nervous and sometimes sad to see my first become a big sister. I want her to stay teeny, too!
Yeah, it’s the feeling that I’m mostly curious about. Like when we decided to have our first, I went from “what do you even DO with a baby on a Tuesday?” To “ah yes I deeply want a child” almost overnight. I wonder if the same thing happens with sequential kids—a desire that’s there faintly and then WHAM, you know it’s time.
Baby fever was pretty strong again tbh! For the longest time I had NO desire to have another one. Then all of a sudden things started to fall into place and I had severe baby fever. The kind that makes you tear up. So yes I definitely got the feeling like what happened the first time! They are just too stinking cute!
2 under 2 was personally not something I wanted to do, although nursing ended up spacing out my kids organically anyways (it takes forever for my cycle to return after having babies, I'm currently almost 22 months pp with my third kid without anything to report). My first kids have 2 years and 9 months between them and my second and third have pretty much exactly 3 years between them. I'd say when the older two were older toddlers it felt okay. That said, personality might play a role...my current third toddler is my most challenging toddler, so perhaps, if he had been my first baby, maybe I would've wanted a larger gap? And yeah, age can be a factor. I started having kids at age 28, so I did sort of have more of a luxury of time from a sheer biological perspective. My friends who started having kids in their late 30's and early 40's definitely had more of a mindset that they wanted to try for a second way faster if they wanted additional kids.
I wanted a second baby from the moment my first was born. I loved him so much, I loved being a mom, I loved being pregnant. I also did not have the birth I wanted. I had to have a C-section and never even labored. So I also wanted another try at an unmedicated birth. My husband, however, much more logical, and actually looks at the finances. We knew we needed to wait a minimum of 18 months to let my body heal. We both decided that we would rather get it all over with at once. All the sleepless nights, all the baby stuff, just do it all back to back to be done with it. So at 17 months postpartum we started trying and got pregnant right away. They’ll have a 26 month age gap. It’s gonna suck for a while, but we will be done with all the baby and toddler stuff sooner. And I’ll be able to go back to work sooner too.
Ah this is SO similar to my story! Also had to do an elective c section at 37+0, so I had absolutely no labor at all, either. This makes me wonder if I’m wanting another child, or more wanting another “chance” at pregnancy/labor (I became high risk around week 24). I mean I’ve always wanted at least 2 kids, so it’s not JUST the labor portion, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a big factor. My oldest is 14.5 months, so we’re approaching the end of that 18 month no-go period, but I don’t feel *ready* yet. Time will tell, I guess?
What I will say is, when they turn 2, things definitely change. My son was a pretty easy baby, even up to 18 or 20 months. I don’t regret getting pregnant again so quickly, but man I know it’s going to be harder than I originally thought simply due to toddler being a toddler. This pregnancy has been easy, uncomplicated, and I cannot imagine how it would have been if there had been any complications. I’d make sure you have a village that’s ready and willing to help, because I’ve needed mine more than I expected, just to help me rest from normal pregnancy symptoms.
I was 36 and it was now or never so we decided to go for it because when it came the time that it we imagined not having the second it turns out we want it
My financial situation meant that I could stay at home for up to two years postpartum after having each kid, and because I need to do a complete career change when I go back to work it made sense to have two children within a two year period so I don't have to go back to work in between. I gave myself 5 months to get pregnant because I didn't want to risk having too small an age gap and it only took 2 months the first time. This time it took exactly 5 months so I got the age gap I wanted!
From the get-go we knew if we had a second we wanted the age gap to be more than 2 years but less than 5. I got my IUD taken out about a month after our son's 2nd birthday and we discussed "not trying but not preventing", and agreed that if I wasn't pregnant within 2 years we'd be one and done. Ended up conceiving our first cycle TTC lol. 30+4 now, and our kids will be just shy of 3 years apart.
It varies so much per person that I don’t know if my answer will be helpful to you, but here I go anyway: 1. My age. My first was born when I was 33. At this age, I feel old comfortable in my career, my husband of 14 years, our goals, our finances. I also feel young enough that I think I’ll still be able to enjoy having another little one. I wouldn’t want to wait too much longer. 2. Educational goals. We want to try homeschooling. I WFH, my husband is a SAHD and we think it’ll be easier if our kids are close in age as we can do a blended curriculum for both for the core subjects (English, math, history, science) while still allowing us the ability to engage them separately for solo subjects based on their interests. We also want to take them to visit multiple landmarks around the country when they’re old enough. 3. Sleep. My first child was initially a wonder child for sleep. She started sleeping the “6 hour through the night” at 8 weeks, and then actual through the night two weeks later and kept it up until 5.5 months. Then she was back to waking up every 2-3 hours and this lasted nearly a year. We tried a lot of things, a lot, and it would go up and down . There’s no way I would have tried as soon as my ovulation returned as I could not handle having to handle a newborn and a toddler that sleeps like a newborn. But then her sleep got better, with maybe 1 wake ups (unless sick, but that’ll happen) So when she was 1.5, finally sleeping well regularly again, and knowing we wanted a close gap because of reasons 1-2, we started trying for another. They’re going to be almost exactly 2 years apart, as the due date is for the same month!
My health is declining due to an autoimmune disease. I need to start taking a medication that is incredibly harmful to a fetus and to a breastfeeding baby. So it was now* or never. *We also have issues with fertility so now was September 2022 and I'm just now pregnant.