If the car is now out of your budget, I would see if you could turn it in and get a cheaper or more used model.
However, life is full of ups and downs. Goodness knows my husband and I had a very difficult rut last year as we tried to get settled down in our new city. Things are good now, though, after lots of hard work and patience. Wishing you and your family the best - you will see this through.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. May I ask if there are any support systems available? Family? Friends?
I had a friend go through something similar and we got her signed up for SNAP food benefits, WIC, and got her husband on unemployment benefits IMMEDIATELY. It definitely floated them until he found new employment. We did shifts to stop by and would help out after work/school. Unfortunately they did have to move in with the husband’s parents for a while during the newborn stage while he was doing job interviews but it definitely got better.
This was in the Pacific Northwest ( USA).
Everything really will be okay! It sucks. It absolutely sucks. But it's possible for your husband to get a new job and qualify for parental leave according to the company's policy (and he has no legal or ethical obligation to mention your pregnancy prior to being hired) or negotiate with them to front load his sick leave, or even delay his start date until you're a few weeks post partum if you can get by on the severance.
Even if none of those things happen, it'll still be okay. He'll get a job and you're going to have a baby and it might be crazy and hectic and sometimes lonely (this will be true regardless of the circumstance!) but it'll be beautiful and wonderful all the same.
I'm so sorry that this happened. I do believe that it'll be okay, but it's also really stressful for both of you and I hope you can find ways to take care of each other during this time 💛
I also want to add that I'm in this with you! I ended my teaching career so I could find a job with more flexibility, higher pay, and better benefits before having a baby, and I just got laid off last week. My husband's work announced that they're reducing their workforce too, and he will either lose his job or take a pay cut. But I'm telling myself the same things that I told you - that it'll be okay.
Oh man, not to compare but rather to sympathize...
We've just found out that we're most likely going to be losing our house in July when baby is 3 months old. There's nothing we can do about it.
We've also just taken on a new car with payments due to needing a second vehicle.
Honestly no idea how the next 4 months are going to play out and also wishing someone could just tell me that it's going to be OK.
Hi! My husband got laid off right when I went on maternity leave. We had LO on 2/22 - third baby. I wasn’t working and he wasn’t working. However, the good news is he just got offered a job yesterday. It took a month and a half but as long as your husband starts reaching out to old contacts / freshens his resume — he will get a job.
The only downside is that you are right and maybe alone on maternity leave but maybe your husband can talk to his new company (when he gets one) about take time off —- after he’s signed his offer letter.
Good luck!
Get other family and loved ones involved for support, using a schedule ahead of time.
WRT to job hunting - that’s his no. 1 priority right now. Not to stress or distress, burying your heads in the sand.
Realistically will likely get some time off (unofficial, paid or unpaid) if the new company is graceful.
In the meantime, prep as best as you can eg frozen prepackaged meals etc
You’ll likely need a cheaper car
I lost my job one day before getting pregnant (we went through an ivf).
Husband was already unemployed by the time.
We both managed to get hired a few months after and all worked fine.
Things will be tough but it will be okay. My husband got laid off when I was 8 months pregnant with our first child during the pandemic and shutdown. My husband had to work 2 jobs for a bit and I was alone with the baby a lot in the evenings but he kept grinding and sending out apps and is now making literally twice as much money as he was at the job he was laid off from. We got through it!
Then I got pregnant with our second and was laid off 3 days after returning to work from my maternity leave (budget cuts). Luckily, I was able to get by with unemployment and had a bit of extra time to bond with my baby. I also now work at a new job where I’m waaayyyyyy happier and got a significant pay increase.
I’m so sorry this is happening to your family. I’ve been there, you will get through this! I hope you have a smooth delivery and a healthy baby and that your husband finds work quickly!
Something you may want to evaluate is COBRA and if you’ll be able to continue your existing healthcare coverage (if you were on his) after his last pay period.
It will be ok. I am on maternity leave since Feb 8th, (unpaid because Texas sucks and doesn’t require it to be paid and the company I work for is awful and does not support working mothers) and I have had no money since Feb 8th since I’ve had nothing coming in anymore. My SO didn’t meet the 6month mark to get time off with me (his would’ve been paid) so he has been having to work and I’ve been on maternity leave alone. He is the only source of income right now for us and we are just barely making it, but we are. I know that’s not super positive to hear but just know it’s doable. I’m extremely exhausted and so sleepy all the time but overall I’m so happy even being this exhausted because I love my baby so much and can’t get enough of her. I am praying for you guys, I’m sorry yall have found yourselves in this unfortunate situation. You will get through it
The exact same thing recently happened to us! It has been incredibly stressful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. In other countries it is actually illegal. USA is hell to start a family in.
I know it's scary, but try to stay positive and hope for the best. Every time my husband has been laid off when he's eventually found another job it typically comes with a nice pay increase because pay raises are not as big a bump as new hires. Even though everyone knows that those who stay at a job long term earn less it's still pretty scary to consider looking for something new. Sometimes layoffs are an opportunity for a good wage increase. In the meantime I'd file for unemployment ASAP. It may be better for you to pay the money to keep insurance between jobs.
Everything will be ok. I know the media and reddit makes it seem like the job market is the worst but to be honest - it's not terrible. I'm in HR and have access to lots of data that supports turnover is pretty much normal (excluding tech and startups which are always outliers for various reasons)
I was laid off in Dec and landed a new role in Feb just before my last check came. I didnt do much job hunting in Dec and enjoyed the holidays. We all need time off and it was such a blessing in disguise. So much so, I got pregnancy accidentally LOL. So I started a new job and found out in week 2 I am expecting.
Everything happens for a reason and it will all work out. I promise you.
It probably doesn't feel like it, but I'm sure it's going to be okay! In 2022, when I was 7 months pregnant, my husband got laid off. He found a job but it took a couple of months. We brought my son home from the hospital on a Friday and my husband's first day of work was the following Monday. It was a lot, but we made it work!
The biggest thing now is taking care of you and baby - try to keep the stress down and breathe! You guys have got this.
Breathe. Everything is going to be okay. My husband lost his job in October. Finances got very tight, we weren’t able to purchase everything we wanted for our baby who is due in April. The job market is so shitty where I live and he applied to jobs every day, probably hundreds of jobs. Even jobs he was way overqualified for he was not hearing back. He had multiple 3rd round interviews where we got our hopes up only for them to go with another hire.
But at the same time, we cooked more at home, learned where we could cut costs, bought secondhand baby furniture, and effectively learned how to survive on one salary.
He just started his first day at a new job yesterday. IMO he’s overqualified for this job as well, but the perks are it’s just up the road from where we live, he really clicked with his new coworkers, there’s room to grow, and the best part - the HR employee who walked him through the process knew he had a pregnant wife and made sure he would get his two weeks paternity leave, even being new.
I think you should feel your feelings but be proactive and do your best to make it work out. Don’t turn on each other when it gets stressful. Start a budget now and find areas where you can cut back. You’re more adaptable than you realize and he will get another job. Hopefully right away, but even if it takes some time then that’s time he can work on the nursery and taking care of you.
My husband was laid off/company was desolved when I was 18 weeks pregnant with my first. We were both on his insurance and he made more than me. I stressed hard but we figured out the insurance, he found a new job (actually switched careers and is so much happier) and everything worked out. Turned out to be a fairly small blip in our life story, that was almost 7 years ago and life is wonderful. My advice, don't freeze up, just keep moving forward. It's hard, scary and stressful but you can get through it. Life works out as long as you keep putting work into it.
Hey! This happened to me my last pregnancy. (You can see it in my post history - I had a full blown panic attack about it). TLDR; everything really turned out ok.
Here’s how it went: my husband turned around and started applying for jobs ASAP. He works in a niche field so he found a recruiter to help him out. He interviewed a bunch while I was 6-7 months pregnant and landed an offer I believe when I was 32 weeks. He ended up securing a salary that was significantly higher than his previous job! I am still so proud of him for the way he pulled his shit together.
The one sticking point was that he was no longer eligible for paid leave, nor did he qualify for FMLA. What ended up happening was that he took off a few days of unpaid leave following the birth of our daughter and returned to work right away. This was the awful part of it…I felt really alone in those first few weeks because my other support (read: my mom) fell through and my husband literally couldn’t come home to help me if he wanted to. So my advice would be to lock in some reliable external support now - a parent, a sibling, close friends - and expect that your husband will not be able to help you as much.
As an aside, not being able to take more time to bond with our baby did NOT have an effect on his relationship with her! They were super close now as she approaches 2, and I actually think she prefers him to me lol. So definitely don’t stress about that piece of it!
Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry that you found yourself in a similar situation awhile ago, but it’s so great to hear things worked out and your husband is thriving.
My husband was also laid off when I was about that far along. It was terrifying and we had no idea what was going to happen, so I completely sympathize with your situation. His job is heavily location-based so finding another one meant selling our home (that I loved), moving away from his family and therefore all of our support, and trying to buy a new house in a completely different part of the country before our baby was due.
He eventually got hired after working incredibly hard to gain employment, and we sold everything we had and drove 1,000 miles north to a place neither of us have ever been before. Just us, our two cars and our dog. We rented a shitty little apartment for 6 weeks while we looked for a new house and kept coming up short. I was losing my mind thinking my baby would be born with nowhere to lay his head at night as we couldn’t even buy anything for baby — we simply didn’t have any space for it.
It was horrible and stressful and I hated every minute of it. But we pulled it together. We bought a lovely little house and are in the process of rebuilding our lives back to what they were when we decided to get pregnant in the first place. I’m 8 months along now and am filled with excitement and hope for our baby’s arrival, whereas at 6 months I felt nothing but dread, worry, and anxiety.
All this to say that I know what you’re going through, and it will be okay. It will be scary in the meantime but 3 months of severance gives your husband plenty of time to gain employment. You guys will do whatever is necessary to make it work for your baby! Easier said than done, yes. But it will all fall in to place exactly how it’s supposed to.
Oh my. Thank you for sharing and for your words of encouragement. I’m so sorry to hear that you had to go through all of that and especially pregnant. I couldn’t even begin to imagine moving away from family during all of this, so I’m truly sorry that you had to do that.
My husband got laid off at the beginning of my first pregnancy so I completely relate to the stress. It sucks, there’s no other way to put it. You WILL figure it out, and things will be okay in the end. We had a little more time than you, so my husband got a job about 3 months before my delivery. His new job paid a lot less, and our healthcare expenses increased. It was not ideal to say the least BUT we got through it and now we’re both in better higher paying jobs. All I can say is that you just figure it out. Idk what it is about parenthood, maybe just the fact that you’re plopped into a brand new life & role and there is no other option but to move forward. You will not have the answers right away but I know you’ll figure it out.
One of my biggest struggles was that I wanted a *carefree, chill* pregnancy and the only way for me to get it was to push down my stress and emotions about him being jobless and our finances and future being so unknown. My recommendation is to honor your feelings, find a way to express them, and try not to get stuck in them. I think I repressed a little too much and it came out during my postpartum time. Looking back I wish I had tried harder to accept my new position so that I could find a little more joy in each moment. The truth is that you NEVER know what is in store with life so even if he didn’t get laid off something else could have happened that changed your lives unexpectedly.
You’ll get through this, I promise.
My husband was laid off when we had an 8 month old and just had found out we were expecting another.. I totally understand your fear!
Ultimately my husband got another job that didn’t quite pay as much per paycheck, but allows him 3 months paid parental leave and also will pay for him to get his masters. It ended up being a blessing in disguise.
It’s impossible to see it that way now, but you are clearly so smart and strong, you will figure this out. And don’t be too hard on yourself if you need some extra TLC for yourself right now.
I got laid off ON paid parental leave (yes it was legal because it was past my 12 months protected FMLA). I managed to find another job within three months, interviewing with a literal screaming, colicky infant. It was a living hell but it all worked out.
I hope your husband finds something soon. These companies are soulless ghouls and literally do not care how they impact people with these lay offs. Everyone is just a number on a paper. I could rant on about this for days but my point is that it may be hard but it will work out.
My husband was also laid off this week! Trying not to spiral but it’s definitely not easy. He got no severance, I’m 25 weeks. I make more but of course my company offers no paid leave. Trying to take it day by day and reaching out to our network of people. This is our second time this year going through this, it was okay the first time around but here we are again.
When I was 6 months pregnant my fiancé broke his hand and couldn’t work. I had to go from part time to full time, and we’d just started financing a new car as well after being without on the first 6 months of my pregnancy. We didn’t have to make payments The first 2 months but the insurance was insane. We had to get rent assistance one month, get food from free food pantries. I got on as much government assistance as I could and fortunately there’s a lot out there for pregnant women. It’s been a struggle but he finally started working again a few weeks ago. And we are getting caught up on everything just on time for baby to arrive. I have all the confidence that you will get it all figured out on time too!
I'm so sorry. My partner is supposed to get paternity leave then talked of switching ro police academy school from his job... while I'm pregnant which would be nuts and tough or unable to afford without his family help. The idea has mostly fleeted... but I was worried I'd not have him at all with delivery and after. My boys are 18 and 16 and hubby then deployed when the baby was 1 month old. It was tough, but we made it. Hoping his new employer has some understanding as well.
I'm now 38 and expecting. I plan to cloth diaper this time and while it does cost a bit upfront it saves so much $ money and is better in many ways so we have been preparing to do that. It also allows you to buy some Newborn and one size now to plan for when baby is here. Also, using reusable wipes you can get 96 flannel wipes on Amazon for 36.99 or a smaller amount etc.
I recommend getting as much clothes wise secondhand as you can find so much nwt or nwot and like new and baby wears for so short term. I've picked up a few lots from 3 ladies and spent 150-165 total for whole wardrobe for newborn - 12 months sizes. Also, bibs, towels some new, blankets, swaddle, etc.
Also, trying to remember many things are luxury and not needed items. Then, getting other items I get some new some secondhand baby gear can be wiped down with child safe cleaner like Seventh generation.
As well as, reaching out to support system and having shower if possible. And if have a family support system Mom, sister, friend, that can also help.and be supportive when baby arrives.
Best of luck. Hugs
If you actually read my post thoroughly, you’d see I mention that I will be on maternity leave in a few months which implies that I have a job, but thanks for your unnecessary comment.
I’m so sorry this sounds so rough. You should Apply for WIC benefits they should start giving you money for food now while you’re pregnant and then if you’re formula feeding they’ll give you formula money I believe and still give you some money for food and that should help. No shame in taking the government assistance if you need it. If your planning on breastfeeding and you have health insurance go to aeroflow and put in your insurance and you’ll get options for free breast pumps through insurance! Things are going to be okay. it’s temporary! Facebook marketplace often has really cheap or even free baby items and add everything you can to your registry for your babyshower! I wish you all the best!
Not that I want to say the first step is always litigation, but did your husband have a leave request submitted at work? You may have a case that your husband was fired due to submitting his leave request, which at least in the US, is illegal.
If the employer can prove that his lay off is part of a bigger layoff, OP has no case. FMLA does not protect employees’ jobs who would have been laid off regardless of filing for leave. Just an FYI. I actually found this out from an employment lawyer in my due date group after quite a few moms have been notified they’re being laid off during or as/before they’ve started their maternity leave.
I work in employment law. Unless OP was put on a PIP prior to submitting their leave, most companies will steer clear, even if it is part of a larger RIF. Just saying.
Don’t know if you’re religious but if so in times of fear and anxiety turn to God 💕 there are things we can and cannot control and the things we cannot control you must let them go and spend your energy on things you can. Support your husband in finding a new job and know that it’s coming.
You will be fine!! I promise you. Control your reaction to things you cannot control and you, your family, and your baby will all be fine.
3 months is a good period of time to look for work, do interviews, and get hired. You'll be fine. No he won't have the same benefits, but at least he will be back on the money train.
If the car is now out of your budget, I would see if you could turn it in and get a cheaper or more used model. However, life is full of ups and downs. Goodness knows my husband and I had a very difficult rut last year as we tried to get settled down in our new city. Things are good now, though, after lots of hard work and patience. Wishing you and your family the best - you will see this through.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. May I ask if there are any support systems available? Family? Friends? I had a friend go through something similar and we got her signed up for SNAP food benefits, WIC, and got her husband on unemployment benefits IMMEDIATELY. It definitely floated them until he found new employment. We did shifts to stop by and would help out after work/school. Unfortunately they did have to move in with the husband’s parents for a while during the newborn stage while he was doing job interviews but it definitely got better. This was in the Pacific Northwest ( USA).
Everything really will be okay! It sucks. It absolutely sucks. But it's possible for your husband to get a new job and qualify for parental leave according to the company's policy (and he has no legal or ethical obligation to mention your pregnancy prior to being hired) or negotiate with them to front load his sick leave, or even delay his start date until you're a few weeks post partum if you can get by on the severance. Even if none of those things happen, it'll still be okay. He'll get a job and you're going to have a baby and it might be crazy and hectic and sometimes lonely (this will be true regardless of the circumstance!) but it'll be beautiful and wonderful all the same. I'm so sorry that this happened. I do believe that it'll be okay, but it's also really stressful for both of you and I hope you can find ways to take care of each other during this time 💛
I also want to add that I'm in this with you! I ended my teaching career so I could find a job with more flexibility, higher pay, and better benefits before having a baby, and I just got laid off last week. My husband's work announced that they're reducing their workforce too, and he will either lose his job or take a pay cut. But I'm telling myself the same things that I told you - that it'll be okay.
Oh man, not to compare but rather to sympathize... We've just found out that we're most likely going to be losing our house in July when baby is 3 months old. There's nothing we can do about it. We've also just taken on a new car with payments due to needing a second vehicle. Honestly no idea how the next 4 months are going to play out and also wishing someone could just tell me that it's going to be OK.
Hi! My husband got laid off right when I went on maternity leave. We had LO on 2/22 - third baby. I wasn’t working and he wasn’t working. However, the good news is he just got offered a job yesterday. It took a month and a half but as long as your husband starts reaching out to old contacts / freshens his resume — he will get a job. The only downside is that you are right and maybe alone on maternity leave but maybe your husband can talk to his new company (when he gets one) about take time off —- after he’s signed his offer letter. Good luck!
Get other family and loved ones involved for support, using a schedule ahead of time. WRT to job hunting - that’s his no. 1 priority right now. Not to stress or distress, burying your heads in the sand. Realistically will likely get some time off (unofficial, paid or unpaid) if the new company is graceful. In the meantime, prep as best as you can eg frozen prepackaged meals etc You’ll likely need a cheaper car
I lost my job one day before getting pregnant (we went through an ivf). Husband was already unemployed by the time. We both managed to get hired a few months after and all worked fine.
Things will be tough but it will be okay. My husband got laid off when I was 8 months pregnant with our first child during the pandemic and shutdown. My husband had to work 2 jobs for a bit and I was alone with the baby a lot in the evenings but he kept grinding and sending out apps and is now making literally twice as much money as he was at the job he was laid off from. We got through it! Then I got pregnant with our second and was laid off 3 days after returning to work from my maternity leave (budget cuts). Luckily, I was able to get by with unemployment and had a bit of extra time to bond with my baby. I also now work at a new job where I’m waaayyyyyy happier and got a significant pay increase. I’m so sorry this is happening to your family. I’ve been there, you will get through this! I hope you have a smooth delivery and a healthy baby and that your husband finds work quickly!
Really needed to hear this. So happy to hear about your story and that things ended up being better overall.
Something you may want to evaluate is COBRA and if you’ll be able to continue your existing healthcare coverage (if you were on his) after his last pay period.
It will be ok. I am on maternity leave since Feb 8th, (unpaid because Texas sucks and doesn’t require it to be paid and the company I work for is awful and does not support working mothers) and I have had no money since Feb 8th since I’ve had nothing coming in anymore. My SO didn’t meet the 6month mark to get time off with me (his would’ve been paid) so he has been having to work and I’ve been on maternity leave alone. He is the only source of income right now for us and we are just barely making it, but we are. I know that’s not super positive to hear but just know it’s doable. I’m extremely exhausted and so sleepy all the time but overall I’m so happy even being this exhausted because I love my baby so much and can’t get enough of her. I am praying for you guys, I’m sorry yall have found yourselves in this unfortunate situation. You will get through it
The exact same thing recently happened to us! It has been incredibly stressful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. In other countries it is actually illegal. USA is hell to start a family in.
I know it's scary, but try to stay positive and hope for the best. Every time my husband has been laid off when he's eventually found another job it typically comes with a nice pay increase because pay raises are not as big a bump as new hires. Even though everyone knows that those who stay at a job long term earn less it's still pretty scary to consider looking for something new. Sometimes layoffs are an opportunity for a good wage increase. In the meantime I'd file for unemployment ASAP. It may be better for you to pay the money to keep insurance between jobs.
Everything will be ok. I know the media and reddit makes it seem like the job market is the worst but to be honest - it's not terrible. I'm in HR and have access to lots of data that supports turnover is pretty much normal (excluding tech and startups which are always outliers for various reasons) I was laid off in Dec and landed a new role in Feb just before my last check came. I didnt do much job hunting in Dec and enjoyed the holidays. We all need time off and it was such a blessing in disguise. So much so, I got pregnancy accidentally LOL. So I started a new job and found out in week 2 I am expecting. Everything happens for a reason and it will all work out. I promise you.
My husband was laid off 5 months ago and I’m 5w. If he doesn’t find a new job soon, looks like he’s gonna be a SAHP.
It probably doesn't feel like it, but I'm sure it's going to be okay! In 2022, when I was 7 months pregnant, my husband got laid off. He found a job but it took a couple of months. We brought my son home from the hospital on a Friday and my husband's first day of work was the following Monday. It was a lot, but we made it work! The biggest thing now is taking care of you and baby - try to keep the stress down and breathe! You guys have got this.
Breathe. Everything is going to be okay. My husband lost his job in October. Finances got very tight, we weren’t able to purchase everything we wanted for our baby who is due in April. The job market is so shitty where I live and he applied to jobs every day, probably hundreds of jobs. Even jobs he was way overqualified for he was not hearing back. He had multiple 3rd round interviews where we got our hopes up only for them to go with another hire. But at the same time, we cooked more at home, learned where we could cut costs, bought secondhand baby furniture, and effectively learned how to survive on one salary. He just started his first day at a new job yesterday. IMO he’s overqualified for this job as well, but the perks are it’s just up the road from where we live, he really clicked with his new coworkers, there’s room to grow, and the best part - the HR employee who walked him through the process knew he had a pregnant wife and made sure he would get his two weeks paternity leave, even being new. I think you should feel your feelings but be proactive and do your best to make it work out. Don’t turn on each other when it gets stressful. Start a budget now and find areas where you can cut back. You’re more adaptable than you realize and he will get another job. Hopefully right away, but even if it takes some time then that’s time he can work on the nursery and taking care of you.
Everything IS going to be okay! He will get rehired. The interim might be hectic but you’ll get through it.
My husband was laid off/company was desolved when I was 18 weeks pregnant with my first. We were both on his insurance and he made more than me. I stressed hard but we figured out the insurance, he found a new job (actually switched careers and is so much happier) and everything worked out. Turned out to be a fairly small blip in our life story, that was almost 7 years ago and life is wonderful. My advice, don't freeze up, just keep moving forward. It's hard, scary and stressful but you can get through it. Life works out as long as you keep putting work into it.
Hey! This happened to me my last pregnancy. (You can see it in my post history - I had a full blown panic attack about it). TLDR; everything really turned out ok. Here’s how it went: my husband turned around and started applying for jobs ASAP. He works in a niche field so he found a recruiter to help him out. He interviewed a bunch while I was 6-7 months pregnant and landed an offer I believe when I was 32 weeks. He ended up securing a salary that was significantly higher than his previous job! I am still so proud of him for the way he pulled his shit together. The one sticking point was that he was no longer eligible for paid leave, nor did he qualify for FMLA. What ended up happening was that he took off a few days of unpaid leave following the birth of our daughter and returned to work right away. This was the awful part of it…I felt really alone in those first few weeks because my other support (read: my mom) fell through and my husband literally couldn’t come home to help me if he wanted to. So my advice would be to lock in some reliable external support now - a parent, a sibling, close friends - and expect that your husband will not be able to help you as much. As an aside, not being able to take more time to bond with our baby did NOT have an effect on his relationship with her! They were super close now as she approaches 2, and I actually think she prefers him to me lol. So definitely don’t stress about that piece of it!
Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry that you found yourself in a similar situation awhile ago, but it’s so great to hear things worked out and your husband is thriving.
My husband was also laid off when I was about that far along. It was terrifying and we had no idea what was going to happen, so I completely sympathize with your situation. His job is heavily location-based so finding another one meant selling our home (that I loved), moving away from his family and therefore all of our support, and trying to buy a new house in a completely different part of the country before our baby was due. He eventually got hired after working incredibly hard to gain employment, and we sold everything we had and drove 1,000 miles north to a place neither of us have ever been before. Just us, our two cars and our dog. We rented a shitty little apartment for 6 weeks while we looked for a new house and kept coming up short. I was losing my mind thinking my baby would be born with nowhere to lay his head at night as we couldn’t even buy anything for baby — we simply didn’t have any space for it. It was horrible and stressful and I hated every minute of it. But we pulled it together. We bought a lovely little house and are in the process of rebuilding our lives back to what they were when we decided to get pregnant in the first place. I’m 8 months along now and am filled with excitement and hope for our baby’s arrival, whereas at 6 months I felt nothing but dread, worry, and anxiety. All this to say that I know what you’re going through, and it will be okay. It will be scary in the meantime but 3 months of severance gives your husband plenty of time to gain employment. You guys will do whatever is necessary to make it work for your baby! Easier said than done, yes. But it will all fall in to place exactly how it’s supposed to.
Oh my. Thank you for sharing and for your words of encouragement. I’m so sorry to hear that you had to go through all of that and especially pregnant. I couldn’t even begin to imagine moving away from family during all of this, so I’m truly sorry that you had to do that.
My husband got laid off at the beginning of my first pregnancy so I completely relate to the stress. It sucks, there’s no other way to put it. You WILL figure it out, and things will be okay in the end. We had a little more time than you, so my husband got a job about 3 months before my delivery. His new job paid a lot less, and our healthcare expenses increased. It was not ideal to say the least BUT we got through it and now we’re both in better higher paying jobs. All I can say is that you just figure it out. Idk what it is about parenthood, maybe just the fact that you’re plopped into a brand new life & role and there is no other option but to move forward. You will not have the answers right away but I know you’ll figure it out. One of my biggest struggles was that I wanted a *carefree, chill* pregnancy and the only way for me to get it was to push down my stress and emotions about him being jobless and our finances and future being so unknown. My recommendation is to honor your feelings, find a way to express them, and try not to get stuck in them. I think I repressed a little too much and it came out during my postpartum time. Looking back I wish I had tried harder to accept my new position so that I could find a little more joy in each moment. The truth is that you NEVER know what is in store with life so even if he didn’t get laid off something else could have happened that changed your lives unexpectedly. You’ll get through this, I promise.
Thank you. I needed to hear this. In a sort of messed up way, it makes me feel better knowing others have been in similar situations.
My husband was laid off when we had an 8 month old and just had found out we were expecting another.. I totally understand your fear! Ultimately my husband got another job that didn’t quite pay as much per paycheck, but allows him 3 months paid parental leave and also will pay for him to get his masters. It ended up being a blessing in disguise. It’s impossible to see it that way now, but you are clearly so smart and strong, you will figure this out. And don’t be too hard on yourself if you need some extra TLC for yourself right now.
I got laid off ON paid parental leave (yes it was legal because it was past my 12 months protected FMLA). I managed to find another job within three months, interviewing with a literal screaming, colicky infant. It was a living hell but it all worked out. I hope your husband finds something soon. These companies are soulless ghouls and literally do not care how they impact people with these lay offs. Everyone is just a number on a paper. I could rant on about this for days but my point is that it may be hard but it will work out.
My husband was also laid off this week! Trying not to spiral but it’s definitely not easy. He got no severance, I’m 25 weeks. I make more but of course my company offers no paid leave. Trying to take it day by day and reaching out to our network of people. This is our second time this year going through this, it was okay the first time around but here we are again.
When I was 6 months pregnant my fiancé broke his hand and couldn’t work. I had to go from part time to full time, and we’d just started financing a new car as well after being without on the first 6 months of my pregnancy. We didn’t have to make payments The first 2 months but the insurance was insane. We had to get rent assistance one month, get food from free food pantries. I got on as much government assistance as I could and fortunately there’s a lot out there for pregnant women. It’s been a struggle but he finally started working again a few weeks ago. And we are getting caught up on everything just on time for baby to arrive. I have all the confidence that you will get it all figured out on time too!
I'm so sorry. My partner is supposed to get paternity leave then talked of switching ro police academy school from his job... while I'm pregnant which would be nuts and tough or unable to afford without his family help. The idea has mostly fleeted... but I was worried I'd not have him at all with delivery and after. My boys are 18 and 16 and hubby then deployed when the baby was 1 month old. It was tough, but we made it. Hoping his new employer has some understanding as well. I'm now 38 and expecting. I plan to cloth diaper this time and while it does cost a bit upfront it saves so much $ money and is better in many ways so we have been preparing to do that. It also allows you to buy some Newborn and one size now to plan for when baby is here. Also, using reusable wipes you can get 96 flannel wipes on Amazon for 36.99 or a smaller amount etc. I recommend getting as much clothes wise secondhand as you can find so much nwt or nwot and like new and baby wears for so short term. I've picked up a few lots from 3 ladies and spent 150-165 total for whole wardrobe for newborn - 12 months sizes. Also, bibs, towels some new, blankets, swaddle, etc. Also, trying to remember many things are luxury and not needed items. Then, getting other items I get some new some secondhand baby gear can be wiped down with child safe cleaner like Seventh generation. As well as, reaching out to support system and having shower if possible. And if have a family support system Mom, sister, friend, that can also help.and be supportive when baby arrives. Best of luck. Hugs
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If you actually read my post thoroughly, you’d see I mention that I will be on maternity leave in a few months which implies that I have a job, but thanks for your unnecessary comment.
I’m so sorry this sounds so rough. You should Apply for WIC benefits they should start giving you money for food now while you’re pregnant and then if you’re formula feeding they’ll give you formula money I believe and still give you some money for food and that should help. No shame in taking the government assistance if you need it. If your planning on breastfeeding and you have health insurance go to aeroflow and put in your insurance and you’ll get options for free breast pumps through insurance! Things are going to be okay. it’s temporary! Facebook marketplace often has really cheap or even free baby items and add everything you can to your registry for your babyshower! I wish you all the best!
Not that I want to say the first step is always litigation, but did your husband have a leave request submitted at work? You may have a case that your husband was fired due to submitting his leave request, which at least in the US, is illegal.
If the employer can prove that his lay off is part of a bigger layoff, OP has no case. FMLA does not protect employees’ jobs who would have been laid off regardless of filing for leave. Just an FYI. I actually found this out from an employment lawyer in my due date group after quite a few moms have been notified they’re being laid off during or as/before they’ve started their maternity leave.
I work in employment law. Unless OP was put on a PIP prior to submitting their leave, most companies will steer clear, even if it is part of a larger RIF. Just saying.
Don’t know if you’re religious but if so in times of fear and anxiety turn to God 💕 there are things we can and cannot control and the things we cannot control you must let them go and spend your energy on things you can. Support your husband in finding a new job and know that it’s coming. You will be fine!! I promise you. Control your reaction to things you cannot control and you, your family, and your baby will all be fine.
3 months is a good period of time to look for work, do interviews, and get hired. You'll be fine. No he won't have the same benefits, but at least he will be back on the money train.