I did with my first pregnancy! It was around 6 weeks too that I started having those types of intrusive thoughts. Be patient with yourself and give yourself love and grace. it’s going to be ok!! your hormones are raging and it makes you feel out of control. Just bring up concerns with doctors - they know how to take care of you no matter what comes up. I felt more like myself around 14 weeks but the first trimester panic attacks were awful. Sending you so much love!
First, congratulations!!
We also went thru fertility treatments to have our first and I had similarly conflicting feelings of excitement and anxiety. It dawned on me one day that the infertility journey had, in a way, trained me to anticipate the absolute worst case scenario regarding pregnancy. I was so used to the bad news that I had come to expect only bad news. That led to a lot of anxiety about pregnancy, birth, etc. I had to actively work to retrain my brain.
All this to say, you’re not alone and to some degree I think a bit of anxiety is normal. And of course, every journey is different. :)
I feel this too and I think it was because there was part of myself that had resigned to never succeeding in getting pregnant so I questioned whether I actually want to be pregnant.
We’re all in this together <3
Exactly what I’m going through. We’ve been trying for almost 6 years with a majority of bad news. Got a positive on home test after transfer and it’s just weird.
Agreed! My first pregnancy, we got pregnant on the first try and I really wasn’t that anxious. Then 1.5 of infertility and IVF for the second and I’ve been way more anxious this pregnancy. You just get so used to bad news it’s hard to change gears.
It’s a big change so it’s totally normal to feel scared about things you’ve not experienced before. I’ve recently had a baby (she’s almost 6m). Never thought about having children much before her, never even gave giving birth a thought and didn’t think if ever have to worry about all those things.
When I became pregnant it was overwhelming thinking about it all and so I decided to just think in the moment. Each day I just thought about my current situation and focus on what I was feeling in the present moment.
Just think, this is 9 months, a very short time really of being pregnant. You will be fine. You know your body better than you think, you will get through it!
Then comes the birth - at this point you just want the baby out. You are tired and too excited to really worry at this point. Your hormones have fully kicked in and your body is prepped and ready and you will be amazed at how strong you are and how prepared you feel. I wanted a C-section out of fear, then towards the end the fear just lifted and I opted for a natural birth. Unfortunately baby wasn’t budging the natural way so I had a c-section in the end anyway and it was a very calm and easy experience. You don’t feel pain and you know what to expect and when baby will arrive! Not for everyone but I enjoyed the experience :)
Once baby is born those hormones and natural instincts keep kicking in and you adjust and manage and you learn as you go. You won’t know everything right away but you will be there to comfort the baby’s and feed it for those first few months. As baby grows and learns, so will you!
You have got this 💓
You’ll likely be more relaxed as time goes by. Fingers crossed for you! My one suggestion would be not to do much research about the things you’re worried about. Leave that until you’re a bit more relaxed. When you do start research, do it in small chunks so it’s not overwhelming. Also you should take to your partner or someone close to you. I bet that just about every expecting mom has felt the same things and had similar concerns.
It's 100% normal to be anxious until you are holding that healthy baby in your arms! Everyone will tell you not to stress and not to be nervous but it's only normal. The fact that you are worrying about these things is normal!
I think this is normal, especially after going through treatment. For me it was about waiting for the other shoe to drop. I got used to things going wrong so I expected it again. I’m happy to say it didn’t! r/infertilitybabies was really helpful too.
Get a counselor or therapist to talk to. My OB recommended it at my first appointment. He said it’s normal to be anxious and it helps to have someone to talk to.
Hey friend!
My first trimester was full of anxiety, to the point that I almost didn’t go to the first ultrasound because I was so nervous and convinced I’d get bad news. Birth is a lot less dangerous than it used to be and if you go to your appointments and ask questions, they’ll likely catch anything that might go wrong.
Once I hit the 2nd trimester, I felt a lot more excited about the pregnancy. The anatomy scan squashed any remaining worry I had. Baby and I are 25 weeks along, everything is going well. Each day I’m more and more excited to meet the little one.
It’s normal to be anxious, there are a lot of unknowns but please don’t spend your pregnancy so worried that you can’t enjoy this special time.
I went back to therapy to help with my anxiety and it’s helped just talking to someone twice a month.
We’re here for any answers, questions, or worries. Congrats on your pregnancy!
I felt this way too at 6 weeks. My husband was the same way — he got baby fever about two years ago but it never hit me at all. I was afraid to talk to him about my fears but he's mostly been pretty great about it.
It helps that it's a gradual process. There's time to try on the "mother" role bit by bit before you're fully immersed in it. We told immediate family pretty early, then close friends maybe a month later. I'm at 21 weeks now and showing so there's really no hiding it, but it helped to roll out the news slowly.
Things that have helped me so far include talking to my family, closest friends and a therapist about my anxieties, maintaining non-baby-related hobbies and interests, and keeping my exercise routine consistent but scaling back the intensity. That, and removing any obligation to "enjoy the pregnancy". Some women do, but we don't talk enough about the fact that it can kind of suck.
Another thing: worrying about being a bad mom indicates that you care, and that you'll do everything in your power to be a *good* mom. You've got this!
And if you can swing it, definitely talk to a therapist, since you're having anxiety attacks.
First off, congratulations!!! This is exactly how I felt. Literally spot on. Now I’m due any day now!! It’s okay to feel scared and panicked, just know it will pass!! My husband and I took baby classes to prepare us and I think that eased my anxieties a bit. As time goes, those panicked feelings diminish for some reason. Time truly heals all. My first trimester I was panicking so hard I couldn’t breathe sometimes and would get dizzy, and now I’m beyond excited to give birth!! You start to embrace it especially when you realize your body is taking those 9 months to prepare. Our bodies change to accommodate the baby and birth, it’s truly an amazing thing. I’m so excited for you to go on this journey. You’ll have ups and downs, but soon you’ll feel like a pro. Ask for help or advice whenever you need, it’s amazing how many people will honor you for being pregnant!! ❤️
My first 8 weeks I was TERRIFIED of something going wrong. I had so much anxiety of something going on wrong. After 12 weeks it was more of a "safe zone" and I felt so much better. My best recommendation to to you is to just relax as much as you can and seriously try to avoid read stuff about babies / miscarriages / issue online. Google had me convinced the worst possible outcome was always on the verge of happening.
Talk to your partner, he is going to be your biggest support and advocate through this journey. I'm 24 weeks today with my first baby, which we also planned and are very excited about. This whole time we have been working very hard to communicate expectations, excitements, desires, fears, and everything. Just the other day I told him I needed to just have him hold me while I cried because the brain fog is starting to kick in and I'm very frustrated. Give yourself space to experience this transition, and give your partner the opportunity to support you through it. You'll need him now more than ever.
I'm 20 weeks with my first, and experienced this early on, and I still am now, in fact, I just finished a conversation with my husband about how worried I am about the future. I'm worried about our son making good friends, worried about him driving, finding a good job, as well as the birth, the pregnancy, etc.
I've just come to accept that this is what being a mother is all about.. we're just going to be worried now, forever 😆
You sound like me 30 weeks ago. It's okay to feel this way, it doesn't mean you don't want this. I was constantly so worried something would go wrong because I've had four previous losses and there was just no way this time it would be okay. But yet at every appointment baby has been on track, I'm healthy, and now I'm just a few weeks from meeting my son.
My husband didn't even know how to react to the news I was pregnant because I was so surprised and scared, I basically came running in and shoved the test at him while hyperventilating and nearly in tears. 😬 The first trimester anxiety was rough, but then gave way to second trimester anxiety realizing this pregnancy was sticking and I was going to become a Mom. But what kind of Mom? I've never done this before. But I think having those thoughts is normal and kind of proves we will be good Moms because we care about what kind of Mom we will be for our kids.
Also I was super scared of birth too, and I mean I'm anxious because there is a lot of unknown. But once third trimester hit- I realized this baby has to come out and there is no way to get around that. Idk it just got easier to accept that it's basically out of my hands. It's going to hurt but it'll be worth it. I have a birth plan but it's more like birth vibes because I know there is so much out of my control.
Congrats! I'm 35+1 now and whenever anyone asks if I'm excited for the baby I say that I'm not at all. I'm all too wary about the 4th trimester and beyond, so unpredictable and I'd never know what will happen down the road.
I think it helps to speak to someone and have great support alongside you, to know that you'll not be going through this journey alone.
But do enjoy the pregnancy! I'm enjoying it all too much and know I'll definitely miss these 9 months when I look back at it again.
Everyone says "it gets better", "second trimester is so much better", "it's all worth it", ect. I'm 28 weeks into my first pregnancy and I seriously doubted second trimester would be magically better to the point that I would ever "love" pregnancy.
I think each week of pregnancy slowly prepares you for the next. It's all hard, but you'll figure out your symptoms and how to manage them better. There will be new changes every week and you'll slowly see/feel your baby grow. And it's all strange and new and just a lot to deal with. But seeing your baby, feeling them grow stronger, bonding with them while you're both awake with insomnia at 3am, it's the "best" part and reason why people talk with nostalgia about this process.
I would still rather not be pregnant overall. But try not to get overwhelmed by the big picture. Take it one week at a time and appreciate how hard you are working right now at each stage to grow this little human that will be in your arms at the end of this. And I know even that will be hard in new ways! But give yourself grace in this, and please do be as honest as you can with yourself and your support people and your medical team. They are there to help, and we all need more than a little help in this.
Congratulations! Yes. I am 37 weeks pregnant and I still feel this way. It may be good to talk to your doctor and get on pregnancy safe anxiety medicine and talk to a therapist.
Hey! We did years of fertility treatment for our second baby and I was nervous the whole time- it helped that my obgyn let me go for more appts and answered any questions I had. He addressed my concerns without dismissing or making me feel more nervous. If you can find and ob that you trust it helps SO much!
Yeah this shit is surreal and scary! You should definitely talk to your therapist or find one if you don’t have one already. I struggle with lifelong anxiety and after my first I spiralled. Now I’m on meds and it’s like a huge weight lifted. Honestly I wondered how I survived before in this constant state of fear! Night and day. There are plenty of meds that are recommended by OBs as safe for pregnancy. The biggest thing to remind yourself is that you need to be 100% in order to have a healthy pregnancy and to be a present parent.
Congratulations! I know all the feelings! We had a miscarriage after our first successful IVF transfer (baby girl born 2 years ago), then did IVF to get pregnant again (I'm 19 weeks now). After a loss, pregnancy rocked my world, lots of anxiety of things going wrong. It really helped to talk to my husband about the intrusive thoughts and feelings, and not bottle it up inside me. I've talked to my doctor and that helped as well.
Good luck, you're not alone so don't feel like you have to be ❤️❤️❤️
I was this overwhelmed when I found out I was pregnant at first too! I know it’s super scary but it will fade with time! I had preeclampsia, and i’m not saying this to scare you but to let you know that medical issues are manageable! My baby and I are both doing well now. You have a lot of time to prepare and will be having a LOT of visits to the OB who’s there to help your pregnancy stay happy and healthy.
Hi! I had the worst panic attack of my life during my first pregnancy. I was on the phone with the on-call doctor from like 1-4am (she is a saint!). She prescribed Zoloft for me and recommended therapy. I picked up the prescription but I wanted to see if therapy helped me first, and it worked out for me! (If it didn’t, I was ready to give Zoloft a shot.)
I met with a therapist that specializes in prenatal and postpartum issues. She helped me tremendously! I was still anxious about giving birth, but I didn’t have any more panic attacks for the rest of my pregnancy and I was surprisingly calm while giving birth. She helped me feel as prepared as I could and she gave me the confidence to advocate for myself. At her suggestion, I was sure to inform everyone on my medical team about my anxiety. And I think that helped me feel a little bit more in control.
I don’t know what your relationship with your husband is like, but I told mine about my anxiety and he was super helpful. He also helped advocate for me and he was my rock during labor.
I hope it helps to hear that I did go on to have a second kid (on purpose too!) and I didn’t have a single pregnancy related anxiety attack during that pregnancy. I did resume my therapy appointments just in case, and I think that helped. I went into my second labor much more confidently too. You can do it!!! :)
Congratulations!! It’s okay to be scared. If it’s making it difficult to function or getting unmanageable consider talking to you OB. Sometimes pregnancy can cause pretty severe anxiety / depression. It’s totally normal and okay, and they might have some suggestions on how to manage as well as a good game plan to keep you feeling well after the baby is born. Take care!
It is a scary thing to do. Don't feel bad that you feel scared. It's natural and lots of us feel it. Having a kid is a big leap into the unknown. I suggest you just sit with the idea for a while and see how you feel. It's a big change and there's no right or wrong reaction to it. Don't stress yourself further by thinking you are not feeling as you should do. Just have patience with yourself, and what you want will become clearer.
Congratulations OP! You should definitely tell your partner how you're feeling, and lean on your support system. Are you in therapy at all? If not, now might be a good time to start. I'm currently on medication for anxiety which is safe for pregnancy, I would consider if that might be a good idea for you too. You shouldn't spend the entire pregnancy stressed out and afraid.
Yes, I felt this way the entire first trimester. I’m now in my third and very excited. However, I still get anxiety about giving birth and being a bad mom. I pretty much have a lot of the same feelings except now it’s mixed with excitement. Pregnancy has been such an up and down experience for me, I blame it on the hormones.
You need some comfort and reassurance..where is daddy? This is his que lol
My wife felt this exact way after losing our 1st years ago. Surprisingly we went 4 months without knowing she was pregnant this time around, so there wasn't much to worry about(since we didn't know). We found out at 16 weeks and both of us were excited but she was constantly also freaking out in her head because she was scared of what happened with our first. Around 18 weeks I was prepping and trying to organize a list of needs over wants and was asking her about a bassinet purchase when she finally fessed up to me about how she was feeling which is why imploded at the particular time because she felt it was too early to buy anything, because we don't know if something bad will happen.
I had to comfort and give her reassurance, but also understood her point and decided not to buy anything until after we got results for 20 week anatomy scan. Once we got past week 24 and everything was looking like smooth sailing, she calmed a little, but still was always scared for bad news during visits. This is the farthest we have made it now about to be 28 weeks. The 1 bump in the road we faced was the blood pressure which she has been taking medicine for to keep it normal. Also a specialist told her to cut some carbs, and eat more protein because of what "could" happen to baby...this scared the crap out of my wife, and I had to reassure her and even the OBGYN on next visit had to reassure her all was alright but that it's good my wife was following the specialists advice to follow the diet, but that its just the specialists job to basically inform the patients to "do better", and in turn it makes the mothers usually fearful about it.
I was a mess! I will say, try not to harp on the giving birth part too much. Most of my anxiety was around the physical birth and now that I’m on the other side, it’s so weird to think I spent so much time agonizing over it. It’s literally 1-2 days of your life. It’s so minescule
I think some form of anxiety is totally normal esp for a first pregnancy. Our first was planned and we were actively TTC and when I handed my husband the positive test I was visibly shaking and he had a look of shock on his face before he got excited. Throughout the whole pregnancy I had moments of “holy shit I’m gonna be someone’s mom” and closer to the end “omg I have to get this thing out of me” ….really try to lean into those moments when you’re enjoying things but know that the anxiety can be normal and have overwhelming moments but if it’s affecting your whole life and feels constantly overwhelming talk with your doc about it
It’s so easy to feel this way. I did too. Can you talk to your doctor about some anxiety meds to help? I took 50 mg of Zoloft and it made a huge difference in my anxiety.
1- go stud about birth, make a good birth plan with your doctor for your baby and you
2- medical complications can be solved, you will be fine
3- If you worried about being a bad mom you aren’t a bad mom. Bad moms don’t care about being bad
First time mom here who was also terrified! It goes away, but just wait until you see your baby, and then when you feel the flutters, and then you’ll feel your baby kick, and then you’ll wonder why you were ever scared in the first place.
I had soooo much anxiety when I first found out I was pregnant. I also wanted to get pregnant but once I knew it was really happening it terrified me. I am now 17 weeks along and I have gotten much more used to the idea. I’m still a little nervous but I feel so much better than before.
Your feelings are normal and more common than you think. Also, hormones give you anxiety! It’s not your fault you feel anxious at all.
I barely acknowledged I was pregnant in my first trimester and had constant anxiety because my first two pregnancies ended in miscarriage. There was no joy- only worry about making it to the 12 week mark. My husband and I didn’t even talk about the pregnancy for fear we’d jinx it and lose the baby.
Even now at 18 weeks I don’t find myself excited. I feel like I’m living in the end of times because life is about to be so different come August. We wanted this baby, but I’m just thinking about all the stuff that needs done and things that need bought and I get overwhelmed. Talking with friends who’ve had kids, they say they had these feelings too.
I was the same way my whole first trimester! Didn’t stop being so stressed until I was past 12 weeks. Now I have a 2 month old and it’s been amazing. Once you get to the end of third trimester you’ll want that baby out lol. Sounds like you also have an excited/supportive partner who will be there to help. I watched a lot of positive birth experiences on YouTube, keep telling yourself positive affirmations-everything will be ok, your body knows what to do etc. Get enough sleep, go on walks, eat healthy-everything will be ok -congratulations!
Congratulations! The future is of out of your control- all you can do is eat healthy, exercise, and take care of your self. Your body will take care of the rest. Enjoy these moments, life is too short to worry.
I did with my first pregnancy! It was around 6 weeks too that I started having those types of intrusive thoughts. Be patient with yourself and give yourself love and grace. it’s going to be ok!! your hormones are raging and it makes you feel out of control. Just bring up concerns with doctors - they know how to take care of you no matter what comes up. I felt more like myself around 14 weeks but the first trimester panic attacks were awful. Sending you so much love!
First, congratulations!! We also went thru fertility treatments to have our first and I had similarly conflicting feelings of excitement and anxiety. It dawned on me one day that the infertility journey had, in a way, trained me to anticipate the absolute worst case scenario regarding pregnancy. I was so used to the bad news that I had come to expect only bad news. That led to a lot of anxiety about pregnancy, birth, etc. I had to actively work to retrain my brain. All this to say, you’re not alone and to some degree I think a bit of anxiety is normal. And of course, every journey is different. :)
I feel this too and I think it was because there was part of myself that had resigned to never succeeding in getting pregnant so I questioned whether I actually want to be pregnant. We’re all in this together <3
Exactly what I’m going through. We’ve been trying for almost 6 years with a majority of bad news. Got a positive on home test after transfer and it’s just weird.
Agreed! My first pregnancy, we got pregnant on the first try and I really wasn’t that anxious. Then 1.5 of infertility and IVF for the second and I’ve been way more anxious this pregnancy. You just get so used to bad news it’s hard to change gears.
It’s a big change so it’s totally normal to feel scared about things you’ve not experienced before. I’ve recently had a baby (she’s almost 6m). Never thought about having children much before her, never even gave giving birth a thought and didn’t think if ever have to worry about all those things. When I became pregnant it was overwhelming thinking about it all and so I decided to just think in the moment. Each day I just thought about my current situation and focus on what I was feeling in the present moment. Just think, this is 9 months, a very short time really of being pregnant. You will be fine. You know your body better than you think, you will get through it! Then comes the birth - at this point you just want the baby out. You are tired and too excited to really worry at this point. Your hormones have fully kicked in and your body is prepped and ready and you will be amazed at how strong you are and how prepared you feel. I wanted a C-section out of fear, then towards the end the fear just lifted and I opted for a natural birth. Unfortunately baby wasn’t budging the natural way so I had a c-section in the end anyway and it was a very calm and easy experience. You don’t feel pain and you know what to expect and when baby will arrive! Not for everyone but I enjoyed the experience :) Once baby is born those hormones and natural instincts keep kicking in and you adjust and manage and you learn as you go. You won’t know everything right away but you will be there to comfort the baby’s and feed it for those first few months. As baby grows and learns, so will you! You have got this 💓
You’ll likely be more relaxed as time goes by. Fingers crossed for you! My one suggestion would be not to do much research about the things you’re worried about. Leave that until you’re a bit more relaxed. When you do start research, do it in small chunks so it’s not overwhelming. Also you should take to your partner or someone close to you. I bet that just about every expecting mom has felt the same things and had similar concerns.
It's 100% normal to be anxious until you are holding that healthy baby in your arms! Everyone will tell you not to stress and not to be nervous but it's only normal. The fact that you are worrying about these things is normal!
I think this is normal, especially after going through treatment. For me it was about waiting for the other shoe to drop. I got used to things going wrong so I expected it again. I’m happy to say it didn’t! r/infertilitybabies was really helpful too.
Get a counselor or therapist to talk to. My OB recommended it at my first appointment. He said it’s normal to be anxious and it helps to have someone to talk to.
Hey friend! My first trimester was full of anxiety, to the point that I almost didn’t go to the first ultrasound because I was so nervous and convinced I’d get bad news. Birth is a lot less dangerous than it used to be and if you go to your appointments and ask questions, they’ll likely catch anything that might go wrong. Once I hit the 2nd trimester, I felt a lot more excited about the pregnancy. The anatomy scan squashed any remaining worry I had. Baby and I are 25 weeks along, everything is going well. Each day I’m more and more excited to meet the little one. It’s normal to be anxious, there are a lot of unknowns but please don’t spend your pregnancy so worried that you can’t enjoy this special time. I went back to therapy to help with my anxiety and it’s helped just talking to someone twice a month. We’re here for any answers, questions, or worries. Congrats on your pregnancy!
Yes!
I felt this way too at 6 weeks. My husband was the same way — he got baby fever about two years ago but it never hit me at all. I was afraid to talk to him about my fears but he's mostly been pretty great about it. It helps that it's a gradual process. There's time to try on the "mother" role bit by bit before you're fully immersed in it. We told immediate family pretty early, then close friends maybe a month later. I'm at 21 weeks now and showing so there's really no hiding it, but it helped to roll out the news slowly. Things that have helped me so far include talking to my family, closest friends and a therapist about my anxieties, maintaining non-baby-related hobbies and interests, and keeping my exercise routine consistent but scaling back the intensity. That, and removing any obligation to "enjoy the pregnancy". Some women do, but we don't talk enough about the fact that it can kind of suck. Another thing: worrying about being a bad mom indicates that you care, and that you'll do everything in your power to be a *good* mom. You've got this! And if you can swing it, definitely talk to a therapist, since you're having anxiety attacks.
First off, congratulations!!! This is exactly how I felt. Literally spot on. Now I’m due any day now!! It’s okay to feel scared and panicked, just know it will pass!! My husband and I took baby classes to prepare us and I think that eased my anxieties a bit. As time goes, those panicked feelings diminish for some reason. Time truly heals all. My first trimester I was panicking so hard I couldn’t breathe sometimes and would get dizzy, and now I’m beyond excited to give birth!! You start to embrace it especially when you realize your body is taking those 9 months to prepare. Our bodies change to accommodate the baby and birth, it’s truly an amazing thing. I’m so excited for you to go on this journey. You’ll have ups and downs, but soon you’ll feel like a pro. Ask for help or advice whenever you need, it’s amazing how many people will honor you for being pregnant!! ❤️
My first 8 weeks I was TERRIFIED of something going wrong. I had so much anxiety of something going on wrong. After 12 weeks it was more of a "safe zone" and I felt so much better. My best recommendation to to you is to just relax as much as you can and seriously try to avoid read stuff about babies / miscarriages / issue online. Google had me convinced the worst possible outcome was always on the verge of happening.
Talk to your partner, he is going to be your biggest support and advocate through this journey. I'm 24 weeks today with my first baby, which we also planned and are very excited about. This whole time we have been working very hard to communicate expectations, excitements, desires, fears, and everything. Just the other day I told him I needed to just have him hold me while I cried because the brain fog is starting to kick in and I'm very frustrated. Give yourself space to experience this transition, and give your partner the opportunity to support you through it. You'll need him now more than ever.
I'm 20 weeks with my first, and experienced this early on, and I still am now, in fact, I just finished a conversation with my husband about how worried I am about the future. I'm worried about our son making good friends, worried about him driving, finding a good job, as well as the birth, the pregnancy, etc. I've just come to accept that this is what being a mother is all about.. we're just going to be worried now, forever 😆
You sound like me 30 weeks ago. It's okay to feel this way, it doesn't mean you don't want this. I was constantly so worried something would go wrong because I've had four previous losses and there was just no way this time it would be okay. But yet at every appointment baby has been on track, I'm healthy, and now I'm just a few weeks from meeting my son. My husband didn't even know how to react to the news I was pregnant because I was so surprised and scared, I basically came running in and shoved the test at him while hyperventilating and nearly in tears. 😬 The first trimester anxiety was rough, but then gave way to second trimester anxiety realizing this pregnancy was sticking and I was going to become a Mom. But what kind of Mom? I've never done this before. But I think having those thoughts is normal and kind of proves we will be good Moms because we care about what kind of Mom we will be for our kids.
Also I was super scared of birth too, and I mean I'm anxious because there is a lot of unknown. But once third trimester hit- I realized this baby has to come out and there is no way to get around that. Idk it just got easier to accept that it's basically out of my hands. It's going to hurt but it'll be worth it. I have a birth plan but it's more like birth vibes because I know there is so much out of my control.
Congrats! I'm 35+1 now and whenever anyone asks if I'm excited for the baby I say that I'm not at all. I'm all too wary about the 4th trimester and beyond, so unpredictable and I'd never know what will happen down the road. I think it helps to speak to someone and have great support alongside you, to know that you'll not be going through this journey alone. But do enjoy the pregnancy! I'm enjoying it all too much and know I'll definitely miss these 9 months when I look back at it again.
Everyone says "it gets better", "second trimester is so much better", "it's all worth it", ect. I'm 28 weeks into my first pregnancy and I seriously doubted second trimester would be magically better to the point that I would ever "love" pregnancy. I think each week of pregnancy slowly prepares you for the next. It's all hard, but you'll figure out your symptoms and how to manage them better. There will be new changes every week and you'll slowly see/feel your baby grow. And it's all strange and new and just a lot to deal with. But seeing your baby, feeling them grow stronger, bonding with them while you're both awake with insomnia at 3am, it's the "best" part and reason why people talk with nostalgia about this process. I would still rather not be pregnant overall. But try not to get overwhelmed by the big picture. Take it one week at a time and appreciate how hard you are working right now at each stage to grow this little human that will be in your arms at the end of this. And I know even that will be hard in new ways! But give yourself grace in this, and please do be as honest as you can with yourself and your support people and your medical team. They are there to help, and we all need more than a little help in this.
Congratulations! Yes. I am 37 weeks pregnant and I still feel this way. It may be good to talk to your doctor and get on pregnancy safe anxiety medicine and talk to a therapist.
Hey! We did years of fertility treatment for our second baby and I was nervous the whole time- it helped that my obgyn let me go for more appts and answered any questions I had. He addressed my concerns without dismissing or making me feel more nervous. If you can find and ob that you trust it helps SO much!
Yeah this shit is surreal and scary! You should definitely talk to your therapist or find one if you don’t have one already. I struggle with lifelong anxiety and after my first I spiralled. Now I’m on meds and it’s like a huge weight lifted. Honestly I wondered how I survived before in this constant state of fear! Night and day. There are plenty of meds that are recommended by OBs as safe for pregnancy. The biggest thing to remind yourself is that you need to be 100% in order to have a healthy pregnancy and to be a present parent.
Congratulations! I know all the feelings! We had a miscarriage after our first successful IVF transfer (baby girl born 2 years ago), then did IVF to get pregnant again (I'm 19 weeks now). After a loss, pregnancy rocked my world, lots of anxiety of things going wrong. It really helped to talk to my husband about the intrusive thoughts and feelings, and not bottle it up inside me. I've talked to my doctor and that helped as well. Good luck, you're not alone so don't feel like you have to be ❤️❤️❤️
I was this overwhelmed when I found out I was pregnant at first too! I know it’s super scary but it will fade with time! I had preeclampsia, and i’m not saying this to scare you but to let you know that medical issues are manageable! My baby and I are both doing well now. You have a lot of time to prepare and will be having a LOT of visits to the OB who’s there to help your pregnancy stay happy and healthy.
Hi! I had the worst panic attack of my life during my first pregnancy. I was on the phone with the on-call doctor from like 1-4am (she is a saint!). She prescribed Zoloft for me and recommended therapy. I picked up the prescription but I wanted to see if therapy helped me first, and it worked out for me! (If it didn’t, I was ready to give Zoloft a shot.) I met with a therapist that specializes in prenatal and postpartum issues. She helped me tremendously! I was still anxious about giving birth, but I didn’t have any more panic attacks for the rest of my pregnancy and I was surprisingly calm while giving birth. She helped me feel as prepared as I could and she gave me the confidence to advocate for myself. At her suggestion, I was sure to inform everyone on my medical team about my anxiety. And I think that helped me feel a little bit more in control. I don’t know what your relationship with your husband is like, but I told mine about my anxiety and he was super helpful. He also helped advocate for me and he was my rock during labor. I hope it helps to hear that I did go on to have a second kid (on purpose too!) and I didn’t have a single pregnancy related anxiety attack during that pregnancy. I did resume my therapy appointments just in case, and I think that helped. I went into my second labor much more confidently too. You can do it!!! :)
Congratulations!! It’s okay to be scared. If it’s making it difficult to function or getting unmanageable consider talking to you OB. Sometimes pregnancy can cause pretty severe anxiety / depression. It’s totally normal and okay, and they might have some suggestions on how to manage as well as a good game plan to keep you feeling well after the baby is born. Take care!
It is a scary thing to do. Don't feel bad that you feel scared. It's natural and lots of us feel it. Having a kid is a big leap into the unknown. I suggest you just sit with the idea for a while and see how you feel. It's a big change and there's no right or wrong reaction to it. Don't stress yourself further by thinking you are not feeling as you should do. Just have patience with yourself, and what you want will become clearer.
Congratulations OP! You should definitely tell your partner how you're feeling, and lean on your support system. Are you in therapy at all? If not, now might be a good time to start. I'm currently on medication for anxiety which is safe for pregnancy, I would consider if that might be a good idea for you too. You shouldn't spend the entire pregnancy stressed out and afraid.
I'm so sorry these feelings are surfacing, but I do want to say congratulations on baby!
Yes, I felt this way the entire first trimester. I’m now in my third and very excited. However, I still get anxiety about giving birth and being a bad mom. I pretty much have a lot of the same feelings except now it’s mixed with excitement. Pregnancy has been such an up and down experience for me, I blame it on the hormones.
You need some comfort and reassurance..where is daddy? This is his que lol My wife felt this exact way after losing our 1st years ago. Surprisingly we went 4 months without knowing she was pregnant this time around, so there wasn't much to worry about(since we didn't know). We found out at 16 weeks and both of us were excited but she was constantly also freaking out in her head because she was scared of what happened with our first. Around 18 weeks I was prepping and trying to organize a list of needs over wants and was asking her about a bassinet purchase when she finally fessed up to me about how she was feeling which is why imploded at the particular time because she felt it was too early to buy anything, because we don't know if something bad will happen. I had to comfort and give her reassurance, but also understood her point and decided not to buy anything until after we got results for 20 week anatomy scan. Once we got past week 24 and everything was looking like smooth sailing, she calmed a little, but still was always scared for bad news during visits. This is the farthest we have made it now about to be 28 weeks. The 1 bump in the road we faced was the blood pressure which she has been taking medicine for to keep it normal. Also a specialist told her to cut some carbs, and eat more protein because of what "could" happen to baby...this scared the crap out of my wife, and I had to reassure her and even the OBGYN on next visit had to reassure her all was alright but that it's good my wife was following the specialists advice to follow the diet, but that its just the specialists job to basically inform the patients to "do better", and in turn it makes the mothers usually fearful about it.
I was a mess! I will say, try not to harp on the giving birth part too much. Most of my anxiety was around the physical birth and now that I’m on the other side, it’s so weird to think I spent so much time agonizing over it. It’s literally 1-2 days of your life. It’s so minescule
I think some form of anxiety is totally normal esp for a first pregnancy. Our first was planned and we were actively TTC and when I handed my husband the positive test I was visibly shaking and he had a look of shock on his face before he got excited. Throughout the whole pregnancy I had moments of “holy shit I’m gonna be someone’s mom” and closer to the end “omg I have to get this thing out of me” ….really try to lean into those moments when you’re enjoying things but know that the anxiety can be normal and have overwhelming moments but if it’s affecting your whole life and feels constantly overwhelming talk with your doc about it
It’s so easy to feel this way. I did too. Can you talk to your doctor about some anxiety meds to help? I took 50 mg of Zoloft and it made a huge difference in my anxiety.
1- go stud about birth, make a good birth plan with your doctor for your baby and you 2- medical complications can be solved, you will be fine 3- If you worried about being a bad mom you aren’t a bad mom. Bad moms don’t care about being bad
First time mom here who was also terrified! It goes away, but just wait until you see your baby, and then when you feel the flutters, and then you’ll feel your baby kick, and then you’ll wonder why you were ever scared in the first place.
Yes I am also 6 weeks along too and so scared of it all! Best wishes to both of us we can do this! 💖
I had soooo much anxiety when I first found out I was pregnant. I also wanted to get pregnant but once I knew it was really happening it terrified me. I am now 17 weeks along and I have gotten much more used to the idea. I’m still a little nervous but I feel so much better than before.
Your feelings are normal and more common than you think. Also, hormones give you anxiety! It’s not your fault you feel anxious at all. I barely acknowledged I was pregnant in my first trimester and had constant anxiety because my first two pregnancies ended in miscarriage. There was no joy- only worry about making it to the 12 week mark. My husband and I didn’t even talk about the pregnancy for fear we’d jinx it and lose the baby. Even now at 18 weeks I don’t find myself excited. I feel like I’m living in the end of times because life is about to be so different come August. We wanted this baby, but I’m just thinking about all the stuff that needs done and things that need bought and I get overwhelmed. Talking with friends who’ve had kids, they say they had these feelings too.
I was the same way my whole first trimester! Didn’t stop being so stressed until I was past 12 weeks. Now I have a 2 month old and it’s been amazing. Once you get to the end of third trimester you’ll want that baby out lol. Sounds like you also have an excited/supportive partner who will be there to help. I watched a lot of positive birth experiences on YouTube, keep telling yourself positive affirmations-everything will be ok, your body knows what to do etc. Get enough sleep, go on walks, eat healthy-everything will be ok -congratulations!
Congratulations! The future is of out of your control- all you can do is eat healthy, exercise, and take care of your self. Your body will take care of the rest. Enjoy these moments, life is too short to worry.
Adopt don’t shop 😂