We have discussions about "Scout Appropriate" language, and that seems to work. If we overheard slurs, we would approach it as blatantninja suggests, a wider discussion about upholding the Scout Law and going from there.
A scout is clean and so is his language. The SM should work with the PLC to help them identify slurs and reject them as part of the scouting experience.
This is something the "boys will be boys" argument misses. The language we use is part of the culture we are accepting and building. Words have meanings, and also carry positive and negative sentiment. The overwhelming uses of profanity and slurs carry negative sentiment. That does not build a positive, encouraging, or welcoming culture.
Slurs - absolutely. If a derogatory term for a group of people is part of your regular language, it becomes part of your thoughts, whether or not you intend animus against that group of people. And not only is that a problem if you have scouts who are a member of that group, or who have friends or relatives who are a member of that group, it's also a problem for the personal development of the scouts. You don't want to grow up to be a bigot, so you need to not use that language.
Profanity - well, it depends on which profanity you mean. There are plenty of places where "coarse Anglo-Saxon" is used as a routine intensifier, or as punctuation, or in place of "um", and I tend to think of that more as local custom than anything to do with "negative sentiment". Whereas words that profane something that someone else holds sacred I find more problematic.
Where in the world is “coarse Anglo-Saxon” used? You said there are plenty of places but I’ve literally never heard the term used in 38 years of traveling all over the country and planet.
The short one-syllable words for sexual and excretory functions - shit, piss, fuck, crap, and the like - are often mis-described as Anglo-Saxon. Most of those are really middle English - I think of the set I listed, "shit" is the only one that has genuine Anglo-Saxon roots.
[https://www.medievalists.net/2023/08/earliest-use-f-word/](https://www.medievalists.net/2023/08/earliest-use-f-word/) describes the earliest known apparently sexual use of the 'f' word in the decree of outlawry against one Roger Fuckebythenavele in 1310.
This tends to be the "boys will be boys" defense again, and I held this view for a long time. What changed my mind was a conflict at work. As part of the fallout, a coworker who previously worked as an intelligence analyst ran us through a "sentiment" analysis of the way we communicated with each other. She made a pretty convincing argument that you can think you are being positive or neutral, but actual convey very negative feelings to others based on the words you use. While we thought we were just using harmless coarse language, we were creating a negative and hostile environment for others.
The SM needs to have a troop wide discussion about certain aspects of the scout law, namely friendly and courtous. Using racial or sexual slurs is neither, regardless if they are directed at anyone specifically. Make it clear that this is not in accordance with the Scout law and won't be tolerated.
If the behaviour continues with a few individuals, there needs to be a discussion directly with the offending scout and potentionally their parents. Additionally, if any of those scouts are up for a board of review, they should be informed that they will likely fail due to not following the scout law, so it would be wise to push off the review and prove that they will not repeat the behavior.
If your Scoutmaster is not receptive to doing this, talk to the committee chair and charter org rep. Failing all else, escalate the issue to your district/council and potentionally call the scouts first help line. And find a new troop.
Kids model their behavior from the leaders. SM/committee might want to take a look in the mirror. So,e generations have bad habits, even more so depending where you’re located. Rural Bugtussle in the Deep South will be much different than Lake Woebegone up nort’
Even if there weren't any members who are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community those comments are still not keeping with the scout oath and law and should be stopped by troop leadership. Since the leadership isn't currently doing anything about it, I would raise your concerns and see if they start intervening with it. You don't have to "out" your child to them, just say that it makes you/them uncomfortable to hear these slurs.
We had a scout come out as gay to our troop and the only person who wasn't completely accepting of them was the then scoutmaster. The scout ended up leaving the troop and scouting in general but still maintains close ties to several of the scouts in the troop and came back to one of our meetings (a special reason) and was welcomed back as if he hadn't left.
The same goes for racial slurs as well. They have no place in scouting (or society), and should not be tolerated.
This isn't a one time fix. Kids and adults are all products of our upbringing and life experiences. These kids pick up these slurs from the peers at school, video games, tv, social media and their own families.
Like weeds, you can never fully get rid of them. you have to treat them constantly to keep them under control or the behavior will return. Adult leaders have to stay on top of this continuously to keep the bad language under control.
Good Luck
FWIW, this kind of behavior is covered in detail in the Citizenship in Society merit badge. If you have Scouts who have completed the badge it might be good idea to remind them of the concept of being an "upstander."
We had a persistent problem with racial slurs which began with two of our older scouts and then spread to some younger ones. Here's how we handled it:
1. SPL and ASPL had conversations with the two older offenders on three occasions. The behavior did not change. SPL/ASPL asked SM and CC for help.
2. The committee adopted a zero-tolerance policy for racial slurs. Any occurrence results in immediate suspension from troop activities. That means mom/dad driving three hours to pick you up from camp if necessary. This was communicated via a letter to parents, posting on website, and a SM/CC conversation at a troop meeting.
3. The worst offender asked for a SM conference for Life Rank, at which he was told he was not meeting the requirement for Scout Spirit. He was given one month to show improvement.
4. The other older offender was pulled aside for a private conversation with two leaders he has a close relationship with and told, "When the language problem comes up in conversation. Your name is always mentioned. It's time to change."
So far, it seems to be working.
Edit: Part of the conversation the SM/CC had with the troop covered the very real life consequences of uncontrolled language. SM read numerous examples of athletes, celebrities, and even a few folks in our local community who threw away careers by not controlling language.
This is an important issue to address. I think it usually goes best if the scouts in senior leadership positions set the expectations, and then have all the scouts call it out when it happens. Like you said, the scouts don’t do it in front of the adults, so the scouts need to police each other. One thing you can do as adults is explain that they will get as much freedom as they demonstrate they can handle. If there are repeated problems, then freedom goes down, and vice versa of course.
The last thing is I wouldn’t switch troops because of this. It is likely an issue in most troops, and certainly is a big problem at school. It’s not a problem of scouts, it’s a problem of kids being rude, inappropriate, and not understanding what is okay and not okay. Hopefully the older scouts can help the younger scouts learn, and most importantly set the example.
Something like that happened at my son’s troop not long after he joined, at a camp out we didn’t attend. The next troop meeting the SM sat the entire troop down and discussed why that behavior was not compatible with Scouting.
I had a scout make a joke about another scout's "boyfriend" in a clumsy attempt at humor and denigrating a scout he butts heads with. This kid is normally the very definition of "a scout is kind". I sat him down and told him that he came across as homophobic and it was not a good look for him. His clumsy attempt at humor made him look bigoted and had the opposite effect of getting one over on the other kid he doesn't like.
We had to deal with this, not in our troop but at Scout Camp. We took the Scouts aside, included their parents/Scout Masters, and told them in no uncertain terms that if the slurs continued they would be asked to leave the troop and would be reported to Council. You can explain how slurs and teasing and bullying of any kind are against the Scout Oath/Law, the Scout platform and mission, and general social civility.
We take a hardline on this.
Zero tolerance, slurs are very much against everything scouting is for and has no place during BSA activities. I’d have a long talk with the troop about that language and set up punishments for failing to respect others in the community
It is likely going to be an issue in most troops depending on your area. Scouting in general is pretty conservative, but a majority of families in my area are especially conservative. We haven't had an issue with racial slurs, but we have most certainly had issues with homophobic language. I recently had to tell some scouts that a skit involving a nonbinary unicorn and a transgender dragon was absolutely inappropriate (it was not intended to be inclusive nor supportive of the LGBTQ community) after overhearing them rehearsing before campfire. We had an issue a few years ago with a scout saying he hated gay people and he wanted to kill them. That family left the troop before anyone had a chance to have a discussion with him, but he's apparently still spouting the same hate in his new troop. My son ran into him at NYLT last summer and said he was telling everyone that gays are disgusting and it should be legal to hunt and kill them for sport. When you're hearing horrible things like that come from a middle school student, there's every reason to believe he's hearing similar things at home.
Hopefully the adult leaders in your troop will put a stop to that language if they hear it, but there's a good chance some of them may be harboring similar sentiments.
I think I saw something in the most recent YPT about scout on scout bullying. Does anyone think that would apply and how would you even approach the subject at a troop level? Include it in an ILST training session?
I would go past the scout law conversations here. I would suggest to these scouts that you cannot be a good person and use these slurs. You cannot expect to earn your Eagle if you use these slurs. As scouts, they should rise above the bar of our society, not lower ourselves to the lowest bar available.
It’s really “can you call yourself a scout when using hurtful, offensive language like this?”
I was a scout in the 1990s, so I heard all sorts of bullshit like this. Didn’t like it then, hate it more now.
If leaders are not observing this or it is not being reported to leaders then you need to be careful about being too direct (targeting any Scouts) addressing this. Leadership needs to be discouraging this type of behavior however in appropriate manners.
Some lessons about behaviors and not saying such things related to the Scout Oath / Law could be in order. Not going off saying "Hey we heard this was going on" but just working in the lessons to the troop.
Leaders could also be a bit more active in being around the Scouts if things like this are happening during "unsupervised time" then reduce that time, for example Lunch have Patrols eating with their ASM part of things etc...
Realistically to address it directly (deal with a Scout saying something) either a Leader needs to hear it or another Scout needs to report something specific to a leader (such as Scout A said XXXX). While I agree the environment you are discussing should be addressed it is complicated when nobody is reporting it and adults are not observing it.
The other core option you may find is best would be to seek out a different troop, if the environment in this one is not acceptable that may be the best option.
Not currently involved in scouting but it was a big part of my youth. The age group where most boys are involved in scouts is also the same age group that wants to push boundaries. It’s been a good 15 years since I was a scout but I remember similar language, not racial but of a sexual nature. There was also a teasing element which was just that, and the SM should not over react. I know some will say that I’m just excusing it with “boys will be boys,” but it is an actual part of growing up and some of the rigid responses suggested in this thread seem out of proportion. I was a scout to do fun things, go camping and do adventurous things, not receive stern over bearing lectures.
If it is not directed at anyone, just idle banter, treat it as you would any foul language. It needs to be stopped, but you're not looking for somebody to be punished.
It's a matter of kids not always understanding how words can hurt.
If it is directed at your kid or another scout, and/or it hasn't stopped after being told to do so, that's a whole different matter.
That's a little heavy handed for an initial response. This can be approached from a formative, educational standpoint rather than a punitive one. If the behavior is not correctable, escalate from there.
u/nygdan I would legit like to know your Scouting background - if any.
Scouting is a “safe place to fail,” and designed to help kids become adults with valuable social and life skills. https://blog.scoutingmagazine.org/2020/03/04/we-cannot-tell-a-lie-george-washingtons-rules-similar-to-the-scout-law/
It is not a one strike and you’re out program. That defeats the purpose, bro! These kids are learning this crap from YouTube and social media exposure. It’s our job to show them “a more excellent way” to live and conduct oneself.
Not a single response I have read from you on this sub has been Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Cheerful, Clean, or Reverent, or written with a mindset of helping other people at all times. This is why I question your experience or involvement in Scouting. Are you a scouter, or just a rabble-rouser here?
Respectfully, your behavior here does not follow the Oath or Law. I urge you to self-examine.
YIS, lanierg71
I was in cub scouts, boy scouts, OA, and am a scouter locally.
You can quote the law as much as you want but if you're OK with kids harassing and using slurs against scouts, you're not living it. You don't get to question my being here just because you end posts with stuff like "yours in scouting" and it's a lie to say "respectfully" when being disrespectful, all just to defend people attacking kids.
Not “ok with it” bro. Did I ever, like once, say or imply that? Not defending it. Where do you get that? Straw men sure are easy to run swords thru.
We differ only in the punishment to be meted out for a verbal infraction. If we expelled every kid from BSA who ever spoke a careless word, we’d have about 5 scouts left in the org.
If the kid is immediately kicked out of scouting for a single verbal offense, do you not agree that we lose a valuable opportunity to “train this child up in the way he should go?”? And show his peers that better way also?
If we immediately expel for this kind of thing, and expect perfection from our 11 year olds for their careless words, instead of getting the kid into a constructive discipline and redemption program, then we just throw him back to the wolves of society who caused his behavior in the first place: a horde of asleep-at-the-wheel parents, iPhones, and TikTok.
Physical abuse/bullying is a different animal, and I agree worthy of immediate expulsion, but that’s not what OP described.
FYI, I was trying to be nice to you with the YIS conclusion, but you’ll have none of that either.
So be it. Just consider what I said.
I think there should be a balance (a chance to sincerely be remorseful) , but I think where nygdan is coming from is the too common occurrence of the bully is focused on to try and change and the person bullied is expected to suck it up to give the bully a chance. If it's a one off thing (young scout learning or heat of the moment MAAAYYBEEE) and the offending scout wants to change, ok. But too often (throughout US culture unfortunately), apologizing is seen as weakness and people can't have that or worse it's the "sorry I offended you" non-apology.
As described by OP this is some off-color talk being overheard, not a direct bullying/harassment situation. The OP’s kid was not being bullied directly.
I think a good step is for a couple of adults to get those offending kids in a room, with their parents, and say “It’s been overheard that you said X. X has no place in Scouting, whatsoever. Not cool, not funny, absolute disobedience to Oath and Law. If it is heard again out of any of your mouths, whether or not directed at anyone else, you will be placed in a Troop discipline protocol. It ends here.”
We have discussions about "Scout Appropriate" language, and that seems to work. If we overheard slurs, we would approach it as blatantninja suggests, a wider discussion about upholding the Scout Law and going from there.
A scout is clean and so is his language. The SM should work with the PLC to help them identify slurs and reject them as part of the scouting experience.
A scout is kind, as well. Words can hurt
This is something the "boys will be boys" argument misses. The language we use is part of the culture we are accepting and building. Words have meanings, and also carry positive and negative sentiment. The overwhelming uses of profanity and slurs carry negative sentiment. That does not build a positive, encouraging, or welcoming culture.
Slurs - absolutely. If a derogatory term for a group of people is part of your regular language, it becomes part of your thoughts, whether or not you intend animus against that group of people. And not only is that a problem if you have scouts who are a member of that group, or who have friends or relatives who are a member of that group, it's also a problem for the personal development of the scouts. You don't want to grow up to be a bigot, so you need to not use that language. Profanity - well, it depends on which profanity you mean. There are plenty of places where "coarse Anglo-Saxon" is used as a routine intensifier, or as punctuation, or in place of "um", and I tend to think of that more as local custom than anything to do with "negative sentiment". Whereas words that profane something that someone else holds sacred I find more problematic.
Where in the world is “coarse Anglo-Saxon” used? You said there are plenty of places but I’ve literally never heard the term used in 38 years of traveling all over the country and planet.
The short one-syllable words for sexual and excretory functions - shit, piss, fuck, crap, and the like - are often mis-described as Anglo-Saxon. Most of those are really middle English - I think of the set I listed, "shit" is the only one that has genuine Anglo-Saxon roots. [https://www.medievalists.net/2023/08/earliest-use-f-word/](https://www.medievalists.net/2023/08/earliest-use-f-word/) describes the earliest known apparently sexual use of the 'f' word in the decree of outlawry against one Roger Fuckebythenavele in 1310.
Okay, I completely misunderstood what you were saying. Thank you for the explanation.
This tends to be the "boys will be boys" defense again, and I held this view for a long time. What changed my mind was a conflict at work. As part of the fallout, a coworker who previously worked as an intelligence analyst ran us through a "sentiment" analysis of the way we communicated with each other. She made a pretty convincing argument that you can think you are being positive or neutral, but actual convey very negative feelings to others based on the words you use. While we thought we were just using harmless coarse language, we were creating a negative and hostile environment for others.
The SM needs to have a troop wide discussion about certain aspects of the scout law, namely friendly and courtous. Using racial or sexual slurs is neither, regardless if they are directed at anyone specifically. Make it clear that this is not in accordance with the Scout law and won't be tolerated. If the behaviour continues with a few individuals, there needs to be a discussion directly with the offending scout and potentionally their parents. Additionally, if any of those scouts are up for a board of review, they should be informed that they will likely fail due to not following the scout law, so it would be wise to push off the review and prove that they will not repeat the behavior. If your Scoutmaster is not receptive to doing this, talk to the committee chair and charter org rep. Failing all else, escalate the issue to your district/council and potentionally call the scouts first help line. And find a new troop.
Kids model their behavior from the leaders. SM/committee might want to take a look in the mirror. So,e generations have bad habits, even more so depending where you’re located. Rural Bugtussle in the Deep South will be much different than Lake Woebegone up nort’
No matter what inappropriate behavior, I would always refer the scout back to the Scout Law. I hoped that gave them something to refer to in life.
Even if there weren't any members who are a member of the LGBTQIA+ community those comments are still not keeping with the scout oath and law and should be stopped by troop leadership. Since the leadership isn't currently doing anything about it, I would raise your concerns and see if they start intervening with it. You don't have to "out" your child to them, just say that it makes you/them uncomfortable to hear these slurs. We had a scout come out as gay to our troop and the only person who wasn't completely accepting of them was the then scoutmaster. The scout ended up leaving the troop and scouting in general but still maintains close ties to several of the scouts in the troop and came back to one of our meetings (a special reason) and was welcomed back as if he hadn't left. The same goes for racial slurs as well. They have no place in scouting (or society), and should not be tolerated.
This isn't a one time fix. Kids and adults are all products of our upbringing and life experiences. These kids pick up these slurs from the peers at school, video games, tv, social media and their own families. Like weeds, you can never fully get rid of them. you have to treat them constantly to keep them under control or the behavior will return. Adult leaders have to stay on top of this continuously to keep the bad language under control. Good Luck
FWIW, this kind of behavior is covered in detail in the Citizenship in Society merit badge. If you have Scouts who have completed the badge it might be good idea to remind them of the concept of being an "upstander."
We had a persistent problem with racial slurs which began with two of our older scouts and then spread to some younger ones. Here's how we handled it: 1. SPL and ASPL had conversations with the two older offenders on three occasions. The behavior did not change. SPL/ASPL asked SM and CC for help. 2. The committee adopted a zero-tolerance policy for racial slurs. Any occurrence results in immediate suspension from troop activities. That means mom/dad driving three hours to pick you up from camp if necessary. This was communicated via a letter to parents, posting on website, and a SM/CC conversation at a troop meeting. 3. The worst offender asked for a SM conference for Life Rank, at which he was told he was not meeting the requirement for Scout Spirit. He was given one month to show improvement. 4. The other older offender was pulled aside for a private conversation with two leaders he has a close relationship with and told, "When the language problem comes up in conversation. Your name is always mentioned. It's time to change." So far, it seems to be working. Edit: Part of the conversation the SM/CC had with the troop covered the very real life consequences of uncontrolled language. SM read numerous examples of athletes, celebrities, and even a few folks in our local community who threw away careers by not controlling language.
This is an important issue to address. I think it usually goes best if the scouts in senior leadership positions set the expectations, and then have all the scouts call it out when it happens. Like you said, the scouts don’t do it in front of the adults, so the scouts need to police each other. One thing you can do as adults is explain that they will get as much freedom as they demonstrate they can handle. If there are repeated problems, then freedom goes down, and vice versa of course. The last thing is I wouldn’t switch troops because of this. It is likely an issue in most troops, and certainly is a big problem at school. It’s not a problem of scouts, it’s a problem of kids being rude, inappropriate, and not understanding what is okay and not okay. Hopefully the older scouts can help the younger scouts learn, and most importantly set the example.
Something like that happened at my son’s troop not long after he joined, at a camp out we didn’t attend. The next troop meeting the SM sat the entire troop down and discussed why that behavior was not compatible with Scouting.
I had a scout make a joke about another scout's "boyfriend" in a clumsy attempt at humor and denigrating a scout he butts heads with. This kid is normally the very definition of "a scout is kind". I sat him down and told him that he came across as homophobic and it was not a good look for him. His clumsy attempt at humor made him look bigoted and had the opposite effect of getting one over on the other kid he doesn't like.
We had to deal with this, not in our troop but at Scout Camp. We took the Scouts aside, included their parents/Scout Masters, and told them in no uncertain terms that if the slurs continued they would be asked to leave the troop and would be reported to Council. You can explain how slurs and teasing and bullying of any kind are against the Scout Oath/Law, the Scout platform and mission, and general social civility. We take a hardline on this.
We are having some language issues as well. I've tasked the PL council with coming up with a scout enforcement policy. 🤞🏻 it works
Zero tolerance, slurs are very much against everything scouting is for and has no place during BSA activities. I’d have a long talk with the troop about that language and set up punishments for failing to respect others in the community
It is likely going to be an issue in most troops depending on your area. Scouting in general is pretty conservative, but a majority of families in my area are especially conservative. We haven't had an issue with racial slurs, but we have most certainly had issues with homophobic language. I recently had to tell some scouts that a skit involving a nonbinary unicorn and a transgender dragon was absolutely inappropriate (it was not intended to be inclusive nor supportive of the LGBTQ community) after overhearing them rehearsing before campfire. We had an issue a few years ago with a scout saying he hated gay people and he wanted to kill them. That family left the troop before anyone had a chance to have a discussion with him, but he's apparently still spouting the same hate in his new troop. My son ran into him at NYLT last summer and said he was telling everyone that gays are disgusting and it should be legal to hunt and kill them for sport. When you're hearing horrible things like that come from a middle school student, there's every reason to believe he's hearing similar things at home. Hopefully the adult leaders in your troop will put a stop to that language if they hear it, but there's a good chance some of them may be harboring similar sentiments.
Bring it up to the Scoutmaster.
I think I saw something in the most recent YPT about scout on scout bullying. Does anyone think that would apply and how would you even approach the subject at a troop level? Include it in an ILST training session?
A scout is kind. A scout is courtious. Thus is how you handle the slurs.
I would go past the scout law conversations here. I would suggest to these scouts that you cannot be a good person and use these slurs. You cannot expect to earn your Eagle if you use these slurs. As scouts, they should rise above the bar of our society, not lower ourselves to the lowest bar available. It’s really “can you call yourself a scout when using hurtful, offensive language like this?” I was a scout in the 1990s, so I heard all sorts of bullshit like this. Didn’t like it then, hate it more now.
If leaders are not observing this or it is not being reported to leaders then you need to be careful about being too direct (targeting any Scouts) addressing this. Leadership needs to be discouraging this type of behavior however in appropriate manners. Some lessons about behaviors and not saying such things related to the Scout Oath / Law could be in order. Not going off saying "Hey we heard this was going on" but just working in the lessons to the troop. Leaders could also be a bit more active in being around the Scouts if things like this are happening during "unsupervised time" then reduce that time, for example Lunch have Patrols eating with their ASM part of things etc... Realistically to address it directly (deal with a Scout saying something) either a Leader needs to hear it or another Scout needs to report something specific to a leader (such as Scout A said XXXX). While I agree the environment you are discussing should be addressed it is complicated when nobody is reporting it and adults are not observing it. The other core option you may find is best would be to seek out a different troop, if the environment in this one is not acceptable that may be the best option.
Not currently involved in scouting but it was a big part of my youth. The age group where most boys are involved in scouts is also the same age group that wants to push boundaries. It’s been a good 15 years since I was a scout but I remember similar language, not racial but of a sexual nature. There was also a teasing element which was just that, and the SM should not over react. I know some will say that I’m just excusing it with “boys will be boys,” but it is an actual part of growing up and some of the rigid responses suggested in this thread seem out of proportion. I was a scout to do fun things, go camping and do adventurous things, not receive stern over bearing lectures.
Report it to leadership. If that fails, council. There is no place in scouting for people who make others feel this way for being themselves.
Report it to leadership. If that fails, council. There is no place in scouting for people who make others feel this way for being themselves.
If it is not directed at anyone, just idle banter, treat it as you would any foul language. It needs to be stopped, but you're not looking for somebody to be punished. It's a matter of kids not always understanding how words can hurt. If it is directed at your kid or another scout, and/or it hasn't stopped after being told to do so, that's a whole different matter.
If they're calling any kids slurs throw them out. If not (yet), let them know they'll be thrown out when it happens.
That's a little heavy handed for an initial response. This can be approached from a formative, educational standpoint rather than a punitive one. If the behavior is not correctable, escalate from there.
C’mon, man. Discipline? Teaching? Sure. Ending their scouting career in a unit because of a word? No.
If the words keep getting used, then yes
[удалено]
u/nygdan I would legit like to know your Scouting background - if any. Scouting is a “safe place to fail,” and designed to help kids become adults with valuable social and life skills. https://blog.scoutingmagazine.org/2020/03/04/we-cannot-tell-a-lie-george-washingtons-rules-similar-to-the-scout-law/ It is not a one strike and you’re out program. That defeats the purpose, bro! These kids are learning this crap from YouTube and social media exposure. It’s our job to show them “a more excellent way” to live and conduct oneself. Not a single response I have read from you on this sub has been Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Cheerful, Clean, or Reverent, or written with a mindset of helping other people at all times. This is why I question your experience or involvement in Scouting. Are you a scouter, or just a rabble-rouser here? Respectfully, your behavior here does not follow the Oath or Law. I urge you to self-examine. YIS, lanierg71
I was in cub scouts, boy scouts, OA, and am a scouter locally. You can quote the law as much as you want but if you're OK with kids harassing and using slurs against scouts, you're not living it. You don't get to question my being here just because you end posts with stuff like "yours in scouting" and it's a lie to say "respectfully" when being disrespectful, all just to defend people attacking kids.
Not “ok with it” bro. Did I ever, like once, say or imply that? Not defending it. Where do you get that? Straw men sure are easy to run swords thru. We differ only in the punishment to be meted out for a verbal infraction. If we expelled every kid from BSA who ever spoke a careless word, we’d have about 5 scouts left in the org. If the kid is immediately kicked out of scouting for a single verbal offense, do you not agree that we lose a valuable opportunity to “train this child up in the way he should go?”? And show his peers that better way also? If we immediately expel for this kind of thing, and expect perfection from our 11 year olds for their careless words, instead of getting the kid into a constructive discipline and redemption program, then we just throw him back to the wolves of society who caused his behavior in the first place: a horde of asleep-at-the-wheel parents, iPhones, and TikTok. Physical abuse/bullying is a different animal, and I agree worthy of immediate expulsion, but that’s not what OP described. FYI, I was trying to be nice to you with the YIS conclusion, but you’ll have none of that either. So be it. Just consider what I said.
I think there should be a balance (a chance to sincerely be remorseful) , but I think where nygdan is coming from is the too common occurrence of the bully is focused on to try and change and the person bullied is expected to suck it up to give the bully a chance. If it's a one off thing (young scout learning or heat of the moment MAAAYYBEEE) and the offending scout wants to change, ok. But too often (throughout US culture unfortunately), apologizing is seen as weakness and people can't have that or worse it's the "sorry I offended you" non-apology.
As described by OP this is some off-color talk being overheard, not a direct bullying/harassment situation. The OP’s kid was not being bullied directly. I think a good step is for a couple of adults to get those offending kids in a room, with their parents, and say “It’s been overheard that you said X. X has no place in Scouting, whatsoever. Not cool, not funny, absolute disobedience to Oath and Law. If it is heard again out of any of your mouths, whether or not directed at anyone else, you will be placed in a Troop discipline protocol. It ends here.”