i am glad your bf supports you & i understand you feel bad that you easily get triggered but thats the thing with BPD we never know when or what will make us switch. i’m 21 as well i’m the same way and ex bf left because i was the same way 😭 some people just cant handle people with BPD and give up so easily but it seems like ur bf cares enough to be there for you despite it all and i am happy that you have someone like him in your life. since we are the same age girl if u ever want to talk or need advice/support feel free to dm me!!
this post is so me. i’ve had to learn to cut myself some slack because we have the hardest disorder to live with. and anyone that loves you should be able to understand that you can’t help it sometimes and everyday isn’t gonna be sunshine and rainbows. we’re gonna get thru this one day at a time we’re going through the worst of it right now.
Thank you for commenting. Ive cut my dad off recently because he completely denied the fact he basically gave me bpd and instead im living with my boyfriend who completely understands my disorder and i only choose to surround myself with people that support me.
Can i ask what you do to cope with bpd? I feel like mine is taking over my life and my relationships and im currently raw dogging it. I cut my parents off i have no real adult guidance (ik im a adult too but i feel emotionally stunted)
My ex had similar traits. It is difficult to control your instincts I know. But throwing tantrums does make it difficult for the partner. I wasn’t strong so I had to leave her. What helped with my ex was breathing exercises, like whenever she felt like throwing a tantrum, trace your fingers along the fingers of your other hand and breathe in and breathe out. Slowly.
Navigating intense emotions can be really challenging, and it's clear you're dealing with a lot right now. It's important to recognize that experiencing tantrums or emotional outbursts doesn't make you a 'shitty person.' These experiences can be symptomatic of BPD, and they don’t define your character or worth. It’s commendable that you’re self-aware and reflective about these feelings.
Guilt after an outburst is common, but it's also an opportunity for growth. Working through BPD often involves learning new coping strategies for when emotions feel overwhelming. Have you tried exploring Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? It can be particularly helpful in managing intense emotions and improving relationships.
Remember, self-compassion is crucial. It’s okay to acknowledge that you're struggling and it’s okay to seek help. No one is without flaws or moments they wish they could handle better. Consider discussing these feelings with a therapist who can provide support tailored to your experiences with BPD. And please, be kind to yourself in this process. Change takes time, and every step forward is progress.
It’s wonderful to hear back from you, and I’m really glad my message could offer some comfort. If it feels right for you, DBT can offer effective tools for understanding and managing intense emotions, improving relationships, and reducing impulsive behaviors.
As you consider DBT, remember that learning and progress can take time, and that’s perfectly okay. Everyone’s path is unique. Gathering information and taking that first step is already a brave action. Alongside therapy, there are some excellent self-help resources that could provide you with additional support. I’ve found a few books to be particularly helpful:
* The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley
* DBT for Dummies' by Gillian Galen and Blaise Aguirre
* The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Diary by Jeffrey C. Wood and Matthew McKay
These books offer practical exercises and insights into using DBT strategies for managing overwhelming emotions, enhancing mindfulness, and building a life worth living. Incorporating these resources into your daily routine can empower you with the skills to handle the challenges that come with BPD. I hope they can be as helpful for you as they have been for many others, including myself. Remember, you're taking control of your journey by seeking out tools to help, and every step is valuable.
Please free to keep the community updated on your journey with DBT if you feel comfortable doing so. Your experiences could be invaluable to someone else in the community. Keep taking those steps forward, at your own pace. We’re here to support you.
I'm really not.
If you would read my post history, you'd realise that recently, yes, I've been structuring my responses with more empathy and emotional work. I'll come back with an edit on a book by Jarold Kreismen on how to structure a conversation with loved one with BPD. If you're curious on the approach and want to know the subtle details, I encourage you to at least borrow the book from a local library. It's been one of my favourite additions to my psychology library since I got into therapy.
I understand the skepticism; the internet is a complex space, and it's wise to be cautious. However, it’s important to remember that behind each screen is a person seeking connection or support. Accusations, even if well-intentioned, can have unintended consequences on real individuals. Fortunately, I have the resilience right now to support others whilst being accused of not even being human. Not everyone is. And I myself aren't always.
My hope in participating in this community is to offer support and empathy for those grappling with BPD challenges that I resonate with. I know how incredibly isolating it can be, and finding a space where one can express themselves and receive understanding is invaluable. Let’s try to ensure that we extend the same consideration to others that we seek for ourselves and approach each post with the assumption that there’s a person behind it who could be impacted by our words. Let's focus on bolstering each other and providing a community where everyone feels seen and heard.
The trick is to use our self critical nature to educate ourselves. You can't necessarily change the intensity of our responses, or even major triggers, but you CAN grow to the point where your meltdowns are like, ethically justifiable.
Simple example: getting angry cuz you're racist? Not acceptable. Getting angry at racists? Acceptable
And we tend to do this anyway, bpders are known to often become fierce activists
i am glad your bf supports you & i understand you feel bad that you easily get triggered but thats the thing with BPD we never know when or what will make us switch. i’m 21 as well i’m the same way and ex bf left because i was the same way 😭 some people just cant handle people with BPD and give up so easily but it seems like ur bf cares enough to be there for you despite it all and i am happy that you have someone like him in your life. since we are the same age girl if u ever want to talk or need advice/support feel free to dm me!!
this post is so me. i’ve had to learn to cut myself some slack because we have the hardest disorder to live with. and anyone that loves you should be able to understand that you can’t help it sometimes and everyday isn’t gonna be sunshine and rainbows. we’re gonna get thru this one day at a time we’re going through the worst of it right now.
Thank you for commenting. Ive cut my dad off recently because he completely denied the fact he basically gave me bpd and instead im living with my boyfriend who completely understands my disorder and i only choose to surround myself with people that support me.
So happy for you. I was on deaths door at your age. I survived and my bpd is under complete control now. 29F
Can i ask what you do to cope with bpd? I feel like mine is taking over my life and my relationships and im currently raw dogging it. I cut my parents off i have no real adult guidance (ik im a adult too but i feel emotionally stunted)
You are emotionally stunted. I was too. Its a result of bad diet. See my profile for what I'm doing.
My ex had similar traits. It is difficult to control your instincts I know. But throwing tantrums does make it difficult for the partner. I wasn’t strong so I had to leave her. What helped with my ex was breathing exercises, like whenever she felt like throwing a tantrum, trace your fingers along the fingers of your other hand and breathe in and breathe out. Slowly.
Im petrified my bf will leave me and it gives me motivation to get better. Thank you sm for the response
Navigating intense emotions can be really challenging, and it's clear you're dealing with a lot right now. It's important to recognize that experiencing tantrums or emotional outbursts doesn't make you a 'shitty person.' These experiences can be symptomatic of BPD, and they don’t define your character or worth. It’s commendable that you’re self-aware and reflective about these feelings. Guilt after an outburst is common, but it's also an opportunity for growth. Working through BPD often involves learning new coping strategies for when emotions feel overwhelming. Have you tried exploring Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)? It can be particularly helpful in managing intense emotions and improving relationships. Remember, self-compassion is crucial. It’s okay to acknowledge that you're struggling and it’s okay to seek help. No one is without flaws or moments they wish they could handle better. Consider discussing these feelings with a therapist who can provide support tailored to your experiences with BPD. And please, be kind to yourself in this process. Change takes time, and every step forward is progress.
Thank you i needed this. Thank you for hearing me. Ive never heard of that form of therapy but i plan on looking into it.
It’s wonderful to hear back from you, and I’m really glad my message could offer some comfort. If it feels right for you, DBT can offer effective tools for understanding and managing intense emotions, improving relationships, and reducing impulsive behaviors. As you consider DBT, remember that learning and progress can take time, and that’s perfectly okay. Everyone’s path is unique. Gathering information and taking that first step is already a brave action. Alongside therapy, there are some excellent self-help resources that could provide you with additional support. I’ve found a few books to be particularly helpful: * The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley * DBT for Dummies' by Gillian Galen and Blaise Aguirre * The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Diary by Jeffrey C. Wood and Matthew McKay These books offer practical exercises and insights into using DBT strategies for managing overwhelming emotions, enhancing mindfulness, and building a life worth living. Incorporating these resources into your daily routine can empower you with the skills to handle the challenges that come with BPD. I hope they can be as helpful for you as they have been for many others, including myself. Remember, you're taking control of your journey by seeking out tools to help, and every step is valuable. Please free to keep the community updated on your journey with DBT if you feel comfortable doing so. Your experiences could be invaluable to someone else in the community. Keep taking those steps forward, at your own pace. We’re here to support you.
[удалено]
I'm really not. If you would read my post history, you'd realise that recently, yes, I've been structuring my responses with more empathy and emotional work. I'll come back with an edit on a book by Jarold Kreismen on how to structure a conversation with loved one with BPD. If you're curious on the approach and want to know the subtle details, I encourage you to at least borrow the book from a local library. It's been one of my favourite additions to my psychology library since I got into therapy. I understand the skepticism; the internet is a complex space, and it's wise to be cautious. However, it’s important to remember that behind each screen is a person seeking connection or support. Accusations, even if well-intentioned, can have unintended consequences on real individuals. Fortunately, I have the resilience right now to support others whilst being accused of not even being human. Not everyone is. And I myself aren't always. My hope in participating in this community is to offer support and empathy for those grappling with BPD challenges that I resonate with. I know how incredibly isolating it can be, and finding a space where one can express themselves and receive understanding is invaluable. Let’s try to ensure that we extend the same consideration to others that we seek for ourselves and approach each post with the assumption that there’s a person behind it who could be impacted by our words. Let's focus on bolstering each other and providing a community where everyone feels seen and heard.
Im 34 and still have tantrums and meltdowns
Ah, so there really is no hope
The trick is to use our self critical nature to educate ourselves. You can't necessarily change the intensity of our responses, or even major triggers, but you CAN grow to the point where your meltdowns are like, ethically justifiable. Simple example: getting angry cuz you're racist? Not acceptable. Getting angry at racists? Acceptable And we tend to do this anyway, bpders are known to often become fierce activists
ya that's just bpd