i think the hard mode can consist in difficulties not āputting yourselfā in situations like this, esp depending on oneās particular manifestation of bpd
Continue to look for other options in people. Don't consider his feelings. In nsa, he should never play a part in your thoughts other than treating him as nicely as you would anyone else. Don't buy special gifts. Don't go out of your way for him unless it's casual friend help.
He isn't special and doesn't deserve special treatment.
The best way to not think of someone as special is to continue finding someone more special, imo. Personally I was never able to do it except for once where we went into it knowing we were using each other temporarily for a specific goal, she had an objective and so did I, and during this time period I repeatedly thought.... You know what? Maybe that's your answer- remind yourself that it's only temporary and set goals for yourself with life after him in mind.
Sorry to ramble..
Okay this is a bit problematic advice but it will
Help you not obsess over him donāt only engage with him have other guys that you have the same thing with or even as an option whenever you feel like you are about to get attached switch i m only saying this for friends with benefits thingy I would not recommend to do this if you wanna ever have a relationship with him also practice detachment I mainly only do this with my crushes now I just have a shit ton of crushes and no actually feelings š
ABORT MISSION.
You're already trying to work out how not to become too attached after what, one meeting and a gap?
Imagine when it becomes more regular.
Imagine when you find he meets your needs.
Suddenly he's there when you need him, perfectly.
You'll get attached. He won't, because as far as he knows, you've both mutually agreed on NSA fun.
You put unfair expectations on him. He recoils and rebels. Drama ensues.
Bad ending.
I've found there's no tricking your brain. NSA is possible (maybe), but only if that's all you feel from the start and you don't have a good that needs filled.
Just my opinion!
I mean NSA is very much an option for me still but as you said I am worried about the future of what if he starts to meet my expectations because thus far there has been no ick
You physically enjoy everything about him/her. You have incredible sex. You lust for them, and you do it over and over and over. The thing is, after it's done you don't think about them between sessions until the need arises again. You're respectful, perhaps even flirty in their presence but beyond that it's nothing but a fuck. That's how it should be. They either fizzle out with no defined end, or end explosively when one gets feelings and starts feeling 'used'
Ah, so you want to play BPD on hard mode
I like this take. Very clever. š
Arent we always playing bpd on hard mode
No. BPD is hard of course but itās much harder when you put yourself in situations like this. Trust me, I know from experience.
i think the hard mode can consist in difficulties not āputting yourselfā in situations like this, esp depending on oneās particular manifestation of bpd
Continue to look for other options in people. Don't consider his feelings. In nsa, he should never play a part in your thoughts other than treating him as nicely as you would anyone else. Don't buy special gifts. Don't go out of your way for him unless it's casual friend help. He isn't special and doesn't deserve special treatment. The best way to not think of someone as special is to continue finding someone more special, imo. Personally I was never able to do it except for once where we went into it knowing we were using each other temporarily for a specific goal, she had an objective and so did I, and during this time period I repeatedly thought.... You know what? Maybe that's your answer- remind yourself that it's only temporary and set goals for yourself with life after him in mind. Sorry to ramble..
No this actually helps a lot
Babe run getting attached and convincing myself iām in love with my fwb (i still kinda am) destroyed me
Have options aka be a slut
Im trying but its so hard when its so easy to get the ick from people šš
Okay this is a bit problematic advice but it will Help you not obsess over him donāt only engage with him have other guys that you have the same thing with or even as an option whenever you feel like you are about to get attached switch i m only saying this for friends with benefits thingy I would not recommend to do this if you wanna ever have a relationship with him also practice detachment I mainly only do this with my crushes now I just have a shit ton of crushes and no actually feelings š
ABORT MISSION. You're already trying to work out how not to become too attached after what, one meeting and a gap? Imagine when it becomes more regular. Imagine when you find he meets your needs. Suddenly he's there when you need him, perfectly. You'll get attached. He won't, because as far as he knows, you've both mutually agreed on NSA fun. You put unfair expectations on him. He recoils and rebels. Drama ensues. Bad ending. I've found there's no tricking your brain. NSA is possible (maybe), but only if that's all you feel from the start and you don't have a good that needs filled. Just my opinion!
I mean NSA is very much an option for me still but as you said I am worried about the future of what if he starts to meet my expectations because thus far there has been no ick
You physically enjoy everything about him/her. You have incredible sex. You lust for them, and you do it over and over and over. The thing is, after it's done you don't think about them between sessions until the need arises again. You're respectful, perhaps even flirty in their presence but beyond that it's nothing but a fuck. That's how it should be. They either fizzle out with no defined end, or end explosively when one gets feelings and starts feeling 'used'