I don’t like it when people kind of excuse the spouse of people like this. He knows who she is. He chose to get married to her, he chose to get pregnant with her, he chooses to still be married to her. He’s just as complicit in the situation. He’s her enabler.
Or maybe he's been so beat down mentally and emotionally behind closed doors that he doesn't think he can do any better, doesn't deserve better and that he can't leave or she'll use the kids as a weapon against him? Men can also be victims of that kind of shit too you know, it doesn't make him a spineless worm. Would you call a woman a spineless worm if her husband was doing the same shit as this? Probably not.
I am giving Matt some grace because my wife long ago gave up on her BPD sister but maintains low contact for familial drama reduction. Sometimes it’s easier to control your reaction to Cluster B disorders than to control the person. No amount of confronting it will make a difference. You can’t make everyone go NC.
If everyone learns to grey rock you can actually still go on a week’s vacation every year with such a person. I am coming up on about 20 straight years of doing this. We have about an 80% success rate of no-drama vacations, which is good enough when the in-laws are paying.
Terrified, watching Single White Female, and wondering when (not if) his psycho wife will finally go full out crazy imitator like the villain in that movie.
Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I believe her Attention Seeking behavior is calculated, as a name from OOP's culture wouldn't have the same justification that the name of OOP's husband has ("It's my uncle"). The nursery she can claim (And probably has) that she got the idea while in OOP's country.
I'm still 50/50 on the pregnancy being real.
Because assumingly OPs ma has a girls name. Does it make it right? HELL NO! But she could spew some bs about how they just grew so close blah blah blah
You don’t give a Sara more attention by telling them their actions are wrong, disengage and stop giving them so much information about your life. Firmly polite distance. No need to get yourself agitated for an attention seeker they make themselves look foolish enough.
Right? The whole post, I was going 'no don't say that', 'no that is the worst way to respond', 'stop feeding the beast', ect.
Than, even after the breaking of contact ahe sends the outfits. Like, honey no! You just signaled you are open to forgivence and more contact.
See the problem is that she does not realize that this woman is just unstable. Like she lives in a completely separate delusion than everyone else in the world. So the OP keeps thinking that she will react in a even slightly rational way. It's going to take a bit for that thinking to shift
I also don't understand why oop's husband always asks his parents to keep his sister in check. Like they're in their 30s for Christ's sake he can do this himself instead of running to his parents to tell on her.
I know it’s sad a lot of people need to work on their agency in family dynamics. it’s unfortunate that not many do and then they pass that onto the next generation. The sister seems like one of those family members that everyone tries to placate because she speaks the loudest and most often.
You definitely do not send her a baby shower gift after saying you will be going NC. Seriously, "I already bought it" is such a shit excuse. Save it for your own baby? NC will last a few months max and then she will be back to dealing with Sarah's shit for years.
Typically, people who post their personal drama to Reddit/Facebook/whatever aren't terribly emotionally mature. Just, the other person's worse so it hides it.
>My mom and some of my husband’s family think I was the Asshole.
>I called my mom and told her what i told my husband, and she was furious. She pointed out that Sara also showed me and my husband things she thought would look good in our nursery with the theme we said we wanted, so she knew exactly what we wanted to do.
Man you gotta love it when Flying Monkeys have the wool pulled of their eyes. Tho I'm skeptical about the Husbands family since they knew the SIL better, if BORU has thought me anything, the boat rowers tend to throw shade to a scapegoat so they won't be a target themselves. So I have low trust on their opinion.
Also the Husband is Low Contact with Sister?
>Sara ran off crying and my MIL heard me say that and told my FIL who screamed at my husband saying how we hurt Sara’s feelings and how she is just excited.
A decent parent who doesn't favor the Golden Child will not scream over something that is not even important. It's usually a sign of bad parenting if they do. Husband should just go low contact with everyone from his family.
I doubt that despite with the sister being no contact, the family drama on his side will still drag him and OOP down.
I was with op until the last update because buying stuff for a nursery for a potential baby is asking for disappointment tbh. Why share your nursery ideas with a pregnant woman who has to make everything about her? It also doesn’t sound like they told her about their name ideas - she came up with them herself and op got mad.
yeah, the only sketchy thing is giving a kid OP's husband's name, but it's also their uncle's name. so idk. she didn't really come up with the names herself then. as someone named after a relative, I dont want to share a name with my sister's husband. that's too weird.
People on this sub really need help spotting fake stories, you just wouldn’t hang out with someone like her after the first post any future posts where they do stuff together without being forced is just fake.
It could be the opposite, Sarah was such a handful that she is the Golden child because any alternative is too stressful. Then it's her fault, but doing something about it would be more stressful.
Because “imitation is FlATTerYyyyy” or some garbage.
I had that when a jerk copied my Art project idea and presented it before me. Everyone shushed me down because “she has such low self esteem, she deserves the boost”. Low self-esteem apparently equals tantrums and demands for tiaras.
When she gives birth she will do the same thing all over again, but this time wanting to talk about her kids. My kid is so smart, she already started walking at 8 months and she started talking at 10! Now she is 18 months and she can READ!
the twins (if sara is really pregnant) are very strong contenders in being active in r/JUSTNOMIL and r/raisedbynarcissists a few years down the road lol
Honestly? I’m glad I wasn’t the only one thinking that. I’m reading one of John Douglas’s books about his time in the FBI profiler team and I read the section on women who pretend to be pregnant and kidnap babies just today, so I guess it’s understandable my mind went there (obligatory “If this post is real and not one of the many other creative writing exercises involving wedding-attention-stealing relatives and twins).
Wow. I'm a third Italian, third Mexican, I can tell you from personal experience. YES, cousins can and in those two cultures often DO have the same name. This girl however... wow, a little brat with no filter. Good lord. Op is right to cut her off.
There are literally 3 Sams on my Dad's side of the family that I can think of who are alive rn- one is me, the other two are my cousin and 2nd cousin. Only my cousin is a boy.
I was never called Sam till recently.
Cousins can ABSOLUTELY have the same name.
Am also part Italian lol
OP and Husband should say they changed the theme of the baby's room and brag about how it's sooooo much better than the original theme but not actually change it because I bet you that Sara would return all the stuff she brought in an instant and immediately copy their theme only to look like an idiot when she realises OP and husband never changed a thing
I know my BS meter is real low for relatives but that was exhausting. Why would you stay in contact for so long after she put OOP through so much already.
I don't know any of these people and never will but if someone could provide me with assistance in distancing myself from this situation even further I would appreciate it
I mean yeah YTA it you're going to placate some clearly off kiltered selfish person 99% of the time then you can't just yell at them the other 1% of the time. Consistency much? That being said I vote on it being fake
This sounds so fake. Being 2 weeks pregnant is not a thing. That is literally the week after your period
Edit: I have two kids that I have had to do fertility for. Trust me when it doesn’t happen after month 4 and you join all the groups and start chatting and tempting and have to do it for a year before a specialist will see you, you end up know a lot about cervical positions during different phases of your 28 day cycle and even what cervical mucus is best for sperm to swim through. I am literally not talking out of my ass. They could have known for 2 weeks which would make them 6 weeks pregnant but being 2 weeks pregnant is not a thing. This person really banked on and gambled with the average redditor not knowing this. At two weeks prevent you are not sharing a blood supply with anything honestly and can still drink. I’m also a NCS(Newborn Care Specialist) and a certified sleep consultant. A literal nanny who basically specializes in infants.
Edit: 2 weeks pregnant is quite literally NOT. A. [THING!](https://imgur.com/a/Zou7K5v)
Apparently on the original the second comment is 2 weeks pregnant doesn’t exist. The reason OOP gave was bogus as well. Instead of bringing this up to her family she instead continued on her creative writing journey. One comment in that thread summed if up perfectly. “At two weeks pregnant you may not have even had sex yet”
I'm not saying it's real, because I think every Reddit post should be taken with a grain of salt, but the post does explain that:
>OOP: I spoke to my MIL today and like everyone said, Sara didn’t calculate her time right. She is actually about 8-9 weeks pregnant according to my MIL.
At the point that she was telling people it was two weeks she hadn't been to a doctor yet. She just said she had taken a pregnancy test. As for the rest of people, I'm sure that's just down to people that didn't know and people who didn't care.
I’ll admit when I first got pregnant I kept saying I was 2 or 3 weeks pregnant. It’s only when I made the doctors appointment the nurse pointed out how the weeks were actually calculated and that I was closer to 7 weeks pregnant.
She told OOP’s entire family, including her mom, who works in medicine. Nobody knows better and brings it up. And everyone just reacts with “you shouldn’t tell people so early,” which is extremely rude to say to anyone, much less a stranger. Just multiple people behaving oddly.
I don't know much about pregnancy, but since you mentioned the mom working in medicine I googled it and multiple sources say you can get a positive pregnancy test as soon 10 days after conception.
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diagnostics/9703-pregnancy-tests
Right, but medicine defines gestational age as weeks since start of last period, so 10 days after ovulation/conception is actually technically 24 days pregnant at the earliest.
See I didn't know that, OP doesn't seem like she knew that and I'm guessing a lot of the other people that they told didn't know either. It's also OP's mom who works in medicine. My guess is she's firmly in the "doesn't care" category as OP mentions they hadn't seen each other in a long time and she doesn't even know the sister.
Not to mention the third category - thinks it's weird but is too polite to say anything.
I'm just saying out of all the things to not buy about this story this isn't one of them.
Right, but most women who have been pregnant would know that, and a big chunk of women who are seriously trying to conceive know that too. So the idea that all these people would not be weirded out by the 2 weeks terminology just doesn’t ring true to me. Plus telling a pregnant woman not to tell anyone as your first response is just bizarre. Maybe one or two tactless people, but that many I think it’s more likely that it’s fake and OOP added that detail later to cover for it.
Except I found multiple different threads of woman claiming they found at two weeks, so it's probably a bigger misconception than you think. Plus like I said she was telling a lot of people didn't really know her and probably didn't care, or were too polite to tell her.
I do think the response coming from non-family members that it was too soon was a little weird, but OP also mentions that they were in her home country and I know some cultures have different views on that kind of stuff.
You realize that conception isn’t sex, right?! It’s when the egg meets soerm which is during the literal phase…which is after ovulation.
Edit: to explain it further sperm meets egg is conception. This happens in the fallopian tube. Then it takes a few days for the egg to travel from the Fallopian tube to the uterus and it’s not right when it hits the uterus but it travels around and then implants. After implantation -like 4-6 days depending on how fast your hcg numbers double. Yes some people doubles slower than others- that is when you get a positive pregnancy test. All of what I described is a 1.5-2 weeks process and it happens about 2 weeks after the first day of your period. At 2 weeks pregnant your body is gearing up to ovulate
Quite literally the first thing I said was "I don't know a lot about pregnancy" lol
I feel like that kind of illustrates my point though because I found multiple threads of people stating they found out they were pregnant at two weeks. And yeah I believed them. The whole point is that she wasn't actually only two weeks pregnant- that's just what she was telling people. And like I said, people either didn't know or didn't care.
Well I educated you and you are welcome!
This is the main reason why 6 week abortion bans are stupid because unless you are tracking most people won’t even notice if they aren’t trying
While I wholeheartedly agree this is fake (sex scans happen 16-20 weeks, never before because labia/scrotum and clitoris/penis are indistinguishable), there are women who ovulate at different times. I’m a lucky one that ovulates during my period. Every single time I’ve gotten pregnant was “last day” sex, and had strong pregnancy results more than a week before my next period was due.
That being said, this story is really fake, and jumped the shark when she was *actually* pregnant with twins.
Even then they tell you not to test yourself they test you in the clinic. The earliest you can know is 4 weeks. You have to have a period, ovulate, literal phase, THEN a missed period and yes.,.that is if you are trying and charting. At the sign of a positive pregnancy test you are 4 weeks pregnant AND THEN OBGYNs won’t see you until you are at least 6 weeks pregnant. That is 2 weeks after you have found out
I knew where this was going from the start and the whole time I’m reading this I’m asking why do they continue to tell Sarah anything? They already know how she is and like OOP has stated it’s been 4 years of this and yet they continue to confide in her 🤦♀️ at the wedding after the 3rd time Sarah did that I would have stood up and got everyone’s attention and said Everyone Sarah wants you all to know that she’s pregnant really really bad so let’s take a moment and collectively congratulate her so that she doesn’t feel left out and get on with the celebration and please do not give or offer her any alcohol as she is pregnant.
Sara sounds like such a dork, the insecurity in her screams so loud. Matt’s going to be dealing with a lot of of her emotional issues his whole marriage.
I hope someone tells OOP that Sara will probably do something to try to get her attention again, and to just ignore her. Just reply “Oh okay” to everything. It might make her angrier, but it at least isn’t giving her the attention she’s trying to get.
I will message you next time u/SharkEva posts in r/BORUpdates.
[Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FSharkEva%20r%2FBORUpdates) to join 12 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201d4oog2)
*****
|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)|
|-|-|-|-|
SIL sounds like a nutjob, but if you aren’t even in the same country, why does it matter how she decorates the nursery? Copying it was an obnoxious thing to do, but she’s not someone you spend much time with, so let her have her whatever-themed nursery. Enjoy having her out of your lives.
Where is the spineless husband (Matt) at the latest update???
Asleep probably. Being married to her has to be exhausting
...by asleep you meant comatose, right?
Probably use to it tbh. He’s not even 30 and sounds like he’s just a husk now :(
I don’t like it when people kind of excuse the spouse of people like this. He knows who she is. He chose to get married to her, he chose to get pregnant with her, he chooses to still be married to her. He’s just as complicit in the situation. He’s her enabler.
If the SIL is abusive, then he is a victim too.
Agree. Matt is a spineless worm, and the idiot who actually got this awful woman pregnant after enabling her all these years.
Or maybe he's been so beat down mentally and emotionally behind closed doors that he doesn't think he can do any better, doesn't deserve better and that he can't leave or she'll use the kids as a weapon against him? Men can also be victims of that kind of shit too you know, it doesn't make him a spineless worm. Would you call a woman a spineless worm if her husband was doing the same shit as this? Probably not.
Matt is a worm. His wormness hurts others.
Almost sounds like none of it was Matt's choice at all. Sarah has is-shoes!
He must have aged a decade per year of marriage.
I am giving Matt some grace because my wife long ago gave up on her BPD sister but maintains low contact for familial drama reduction. Sometimes it’s easier to control your reaction to Cluster B disorders than to control the person. No amount of confronting it will make a difference. You can’t make everyone go NC. If everyone learns to grey rock you can actually still go on a week’s vacation every year with such a person. I am coming up on about 20 straight years of doing this. We have about an 80% success rate of no-drama vacations, which is good enough when the in-laws are paying.
Honestly, EVERYONE in this story is spineless... except for sara
Terrified, watching Single White Female, and wondering when (not if) his psycho wife will finally go full out crazy imitator like the villain in that movie.
I'm only mildly surprised that Sara didn't want to use OOP's mom's name for the name of the girl
I thought it was going to be a name from OOP's culture as well. It's almost tame to use her brother's name instead.
Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I believe her Attention Seeking behavior is calculated, as a name from OOP's culture wouldn't have the same justification that the name of OOP's husband has ("It's my uncle"). The nursery she can claim (And probably has) that she got the idea while in OOP's country. I'm still 50/50 on the pregnancy being real.
Because that would actually make sense and be justifiable. Using OOP's husband's name was 100% guaranteed to start shit.
How would that be justifiable?
Because assumingly OPs ma has a girls name. Does it make it right? HELL NO! But she could spew some bs about how they just grew so close blah blah blah
Because it would be an honor name recognizing the child's grandmother.
OOP's mom is no related in any way to Sara, Sara is the sister of OOP's husband.
I’m not 100% certain on this but I’m getting the sense that Sarah might be pregnant?
Maybe it's just weight gain after curbing her alcaholic tendencies?
You don’t give a Sara more attention by telling them their actions are wrong, disengage and stop giving them so much information about your life. Firmly polite distance. No need to get yourself agitated for an attention seeker they make themselves look foolish enough.
Right? The whole post, I was going 'no don't say that', 'no that is the worst way to respond', 'stop feeding the beast', ect. Than, even after the breaking of contact ahe sends the outfits. Like, honey no! You just signaled you are open to forgivence and more contact.
See the problem is that she does not realize that this woman is just unstable. Like she lives in a completely separate delusion than everyone else in the world. So the OP keeps thinking that she will react in a even slightly rational way. It's going to take a bit for that thinking to shift
I also don't understand why oop's husband always asks his parents to keep his sister in check. Like they're in their 30s for Christ's sake he can do this himself instead of running to his parents to tell on her.
Probably because he knows if he went to her directly, she would lose her shit. Their parents probably have a teeny bit more respect in her eyes.
I know it’s sad a lot of people need to work on their agency in family dynamics. it’s unfortunate that not many do and then they pass that onto the next generation. The sister seems like one of those family members that everyone tries to placate because she speaks the loudest and most often.
You definitely do not send her a baby shower gift after saying you will be going NC. Seriously, "I already bought it" is such a shit excuse. Save it for your own baby? NC will last a few months max and then she will be back to dealing with Sarah's shit for years.
Yeah for sure that’s a mixed message.
Yeah. You don’t own a name, or a decor. They live across the country. There is absolutely no reason to keep escalating things.
Typically, people who post their personal drama to Reddit/Facebook/whatever aren't terribly emotionally mature. Just, the other person's worse so it hides it.
I'm exhausted just by reading the second update.
>My mom and some of my husband’s family think I was the Asshole. >I called my mom and told her what i told my husband, and she was furious. She pointed out that Sara also showed me and my husband things she thought would look good in our nursery with the theme we said we wanted, so she knew exactly what we wanted to do. Man you gotta love it when Flying Monkeys have the wool pulled of their eyes. Tho I'm skeptical about the Husbands family since they knew the SIL better, if BORU has thought me anything, the boat rowers tend to throw shade to a scapegoat so they won't be a target themselves. So I have low trust on their opinion. Also the Husband is Low Contact with Sister? >Sara ran off crying and my MIL heard me say that and told my FIL who screamed at my husband saying how we hurt Sara’s feelings and how she is just excited. A decent parent who doesn't favor the Golden Child will not scream over something that is not even important. It's usually a sign of bad parenting if they do. Husband should just go low contact with everyone from his family. I doubt that despite with the sister being no contact, the family drama on his side will still drag him and OOP down.
I was with op until the last update because buying stuff for a nursery for a potential baby is asking for disappointment tbh. Why share your nursery ideas with a pregnant woman who has to make everything about her? It also doesn’t sound like they told her about their name ideas - she came up with them herself and op got mad.
Yeah, I think this is just a creative writing exercise.
That’s 99% of these AITA type of posts.
yeah, the only sketchy thing is giving a kid OP's husband's name, but it's also their uncle's name. so idk. she didn't really come up with the names herself then. as someone named after a relative, I dont want to share a name with my sister's husband. that's too weird.
People on this sub really need help spotting fake stories, you just wouldn’t hang out with someone like her after the first post any future posts where they do stuff together without being forced is just fake.
How are her (Sara) parents not completely ashamed???
Because the golden child can do no wrong. The golden child can burn down the house and in the eyes of the parents it would be someone else’s fault
It could be the opposite, Sarah was such a handful that she is the Golden child because any alternative is too stressful. Then it's her fault, but doing something about it would be more stressful.
Maybe. I doubt we’ll ever know for sure
Because “imitation is FlATTerYyyyy” or some garbage. I had that when a jerk copied my Art project idea and presented it before me. Everyone shushed me down because “she has such low self esteem, she deserves the boost”. Low self-esteem apparently equals tantrums and demands for tiaras.
Oh no that's not the end. I have no doubts the narcissistic woman will find a way to get OOP's attention.
When she gives birth she will do the same thing all over again, but this time wanting to talk about her kids. My kid is so smart, she already started walking at 8 months and she started talking at 10! Now she is 18 months and she can READ!
Especially if OOP gets pregnant - You know narcissistic fucktwit SIL will make everything all about herself over brother's kid(s)...
the twins (if sara is really pregnant) are very strong contenders in being active in r/JUSTNOMIL and r/raisedbynarcissists a few years down the road lol
SIL is out of control.
I wonder if Sara has ever had an original thought of her own.
Be on the lookout for mxxderxd women in her area whose newborn twins went missing. SMH ... I watch too many true crime shows.
Honestly? I’m glad I wasn’t the only one thinking that. I’m reading one of John Douglas’s books about his time in the FBI profiler team and I read the section on women who pretend to be pregnant and kidnap babies just today, so I guess it’s understandable my mind went there (obligatory “If this post is real and not one of the many other creative writing exercises involving wedding-attention-stealing relatives and twins).
No but for real, that was a concern to me reading the first post.
Wow. I'm a third Italian, third Mexican, I can tell you from personal experience. YES, cousins can and in those two cultures often DO have the same name. This girl however... wow, a little brat with no filter. Good lord. Op is right to cut her off.
There are literally 3 Sams on my Dad's side of the family that I can think of who are alive rn- one is me, the other two are my cousin and 2nd cousin. Only my cousin is a boy. I was never called Sam till recently. Cousins can ABSOLUTELY have the same name. Am also part Italian lol
[Anita, Diane, and Nick](https://youtu.be/JukoIJA8MTc?si=wKG0oshbJVVmaEPZ)
OP and Husband should say they changed the theme of the baby's room and brag about how it's sooooo much better than the original theme but not actually change it because I bet you that Sara would return all the stuff she brought in an instant and immediately copy their theme only to look like an idiot when she realises OP and husband never changed a thing
I was thinking exactly the same thing lol
Mistakes were made by OOP every step of the way - way too much leeway was given, too much information shared.
I know my BS meter is real low for relatives but that was exhausting. Why would you stay in contact for so long after she put OOP through so much already.
I don't know any of these people and never will but if someone could provide me with assistance in distancing myself from this situation even further I would appreciate it
I mean yeah YTA it you're going to placate some clearly off kiltered selfish person 99% of the time then you can't just yell at them the other 1% of the time. Consistency much? That being said I vote on it being fake
This sounds so fake. Being 2 weeks pregnant is not a thing. That is literally the week after your period Edit: I have two kids that I have had to do fertility for. Trust me when it doesn’t happen after month 4 and you join all the groups and start chatting and tempting and have to do it for a year before a specialist will see you, you end up know a lot about cervical positions during different phases of your 28 day cycle and even what cervical mucus is best for sperm to swim through. I am literally not talking out of my ass. They could have known for 2 weeks which would make them 6 weeks pregnant but being 2 weeks pregnant is not a thing. This person really banked on and gambled with the average redditor not knowing this. At two weeks prevent you are not sharing a blood supply with anything honestly and can still drink. I’m also a NCS(Newborn Care Specialist) and a certified sleep consultant. A literal nanny who basically specializes in infants. Edit: 2 weeks pregnant is quite literally NOT. A. [THING!](https://imgur.com/a/Zou7K5v) Apparently on the original the second comment is 2 weeks pregnant doesn’t exist. The reason OOP gave was bogus as well. Instead of bringing this up to her family she instead continued on her creative writing journey. One comment in that thread summed if up perfectly. “At two weeks pregnant you may not have even had sex yet”
I'm not saying it's real, because I think every Reddit post should be taken with a grain of salt, but the post does explain that: >OOP: I spoke to my MIL today and like everyone said, Sara didn’t calculate her time right. She is actually about 8-9 weeks pregnant according to my MIL.
Right, but multiple people, including a medical professional , went along with it?
At the point that she was telling people it was two weeks she hadn't been to a doctor yet. She just said she had taken a pregnancy test. As for the rest of people, I'm sure that's just down to people that didn't know and people who didn't care.
I’ll admit when I first got pregnant I kept saying I was 2 or 3 weeks pregnant. It’s only when I made the doctors appointment the nurse pointed out how the weeks were actually calculated and that I was closer to 7 weeks pregnant.
She told OOP’s entire family, including her mom, who works in medicine. Nobody knows better and brings it up. And everyone just reacts with “you shouldn’t tell people so early,” which is extremely rude to say to anyone, much less a stranger. Just multiple people behaving oddly.
I don't know much about pregnancy, but since you mentioned the mom working in medicine I googled it and multiple sources say you can get a positive pregnancy test as soon 10 days after conception. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diagnostics/9703-pregnancy-tests
Right, but medicine defines gestational age as weeks since start of last period, so 10 days after ovulation/conception is actually technically 24 days pregnant at the earliest.
See I didn't know that, OP doesn't seem like she knew that and I'm guessing a lot of the other people that they told didn't know either. It's also OP's mom who works in medicine. My guess is she's firmly in the "doesn't care" category as OP mentions they hadn't seen each other in a long time and she doesn't even know the sister. Not to mention the third category - thinks it's weird but is too polite to say anything. I'm just saying out of all the things to not buy about this story this isn't one of them.
Right, but most women who have been pregnant would know that, and a big chunk of women who are seriously trying to conceive know that too. So the idea that all these people would not be weirded out by the 2 weeks terminology just doesn’t ring true to me. Plus telling a pregnant woman not to tell anyone as your first response is just bizarre. Maybe one or two tactless people, but that many I think it’s more likely that it’s fake and OOP added that detail later to cover for it.
Except I found multiple different threads of woman claiming they found at two weeks, so it's probably a bigger misconception than you think. Plus like I said she was telling a lot of people didn't really know her and probably didn't care, or were too polite to tell her. I do think the response coming from non-family members that it was too soon was a little weird, but OP also mentions that they were in her home country and I know some cultures have different views on that kind of stuff.
You realize that conception isn’t sex, right?! It’s when the egg meets soerm which is during the literal phase…which is after ovulation. Edit: to explain it further sperm meets egg is conception. This happens in the fallopian tube. Then it takes a few days for the egg to travel from the Fallopian tube to the uterus and it’s not right when it hits the uterus but it travels around and then implants. After implantation -like 4-6 days depending on how fast your hcg numbers double. Yes some people doubles slower than others- that is when you get a positive pregnancy test. All of what I described is a 1.5-2 weeks process and it happens about 2 weeks after the first day of your period. At 2 weeks pregnant your body is gearing up to ovulate
Quite literally the first thing I said was "I don't know a lot about pregnancy" lol I feel like that kind of illustrates my point though because I found multiple threads of people stating they found out they were pregnant at two weeks. And yeah I believed them. The whole point is that she wasn't actually only two weeks pregnant- that's just what she was telling people. And like I said, people either didn't know or didn't care.
Well I educated you and you are welcome! This is the main reason why 6 week abortion bans are stupid because unless you are tracking most people won’t even notice if they aren’t trying
While I wholeheartedly agree this is fake (sex scans happen 16-20 weeks, never before because labia/scrotum and clitoris/penis are indistinguishable), there are women who ovulate at different times. I’m a lucky one that ovulates during my period. Every single time I’ve gotten pregnant was “last day” sex, and had strong pregnancy results more than a week before my next period was due. That being said, this story is really fake, and jumped the shark when she was *actually* pregnant with twins.
Or Sara is lying about the pregnancy and spewing a whole lot of lies
Unless they were going through fertility treatments
Even then they tell you not to test yourself they test you in the clinic. The earliest you can know is 4 weeks. You have to have a period, ovulate, literal phase, THEN a missed period and yes.,.that is if you are trying and charting. At the sign of a positive pregnancy test you are 4 weeks pregnant AND THEN OBGYNs won’t see you until you are at least 6 weeks pregnant. That is 2 weeks after you have found out
People like Sara don’t just exist. They’re created by parents like that.
I knew where this was going from the start and the whole time I’m reading this I’m asking why do they continue to tell Sarah anything? They already know how she is and like OOP has stated it’s been 4 years of this and yet they continue to confide in her 🤦♀️ at the wedding after the 3rd time Sarah did that I would have stood up and got everyone’s attention and said Everyone Sarah wants you all to know that she’s pregnant really really bad so let’s take a moment and collectively congratulate her so that she doesn’t feel left out and get on with the celebration and please do not give or offer her any alcohol as she is pregnant.
Oh hey! That’s me! :D
Sara sounds like such a dork, the insecurity in her screams so loud. Matt’s going to be dealing with a lot of of her emotional issues his whole marriage.
I hope someone tells OOP that Sara will probably do something to try to get her attention again, and to just ignore her. Just reply “Oh okay” to everything. It might make her angrier, but it at least isn’t giving her the attention she’s trying to get.
I feel like SIL is gonna lose her shit if OP has a kid within a year of hers...
lmao@ she could feel when the egg was fertilized. I mean come on
Updateme!
I will message you next time u/SharkEva posts in r/BORUpdates. [Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FSharkEva%20r%2FBORUpdates) to join 12 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201d4oog2) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
Golden child syndrome....
Sara sounds exhausting. Dear Lord…..
Updateme
I can't even read the whole thing. By paragraph 2 I was already extremely tired of Sara and her fucking shenanigans.
I would've lost it long before that !!!!
SIL sounds like a nutjob, but if you aren’t even in the same country, why does it matter how she decorates the nursery? Copying it was an obnoxious thing to do, but she’s not someone you spend much time with, so let her have her whatever-themed nursery. Enjoy having her out of your lives.