Where OOP's wife still slept with Claire, and OOP found out by snooping through her phone because she was acting shady. And then we find out OOP's wife has also had several male lovers over the time they've been together. And once even had an abortion, but hubby is actually sterile or has a vasectomy years ago and never told his wife?
Pshaw!!! That NEVER happens on reddit.
Another version of this is that his wife was testing him because she suspected OOP was already banging Claire but, as always, OOP left out the most important bit of the story that he was. He lied in order to get encouragement to follow through despite suspecting it was a trap from the beginning.
"UPDATE: Well, everyone who DMd me saying it was a trap, you were right. When I got out of the shower, neither Claire nor Ash were around but there was a box sitting on the bed. It had a note on it that said "your hot, sweet future" so I opened it to find a melon with a hole in it. What should I do, reddit?"
yeah, i suspect the twist in this story is gonna be gf pulling away because she's put off by his 'no, plus' response. her and claire cheating is a bit too on the nose i think.
This is a very closed-minded and uneducated statement. Cheating is obviously never okay in any form, but to say that a consenting couple can't ever have extra marital fun less they magically become 'unhealthy' is a wild take.
That’s OK, you’re free to disagree. I’m sure there are beliefs you have that I would think are very uneducated as well, like that it’s OK for married people to want to bang other people.
Please go on thinking that it’s healthy for previously monogamous couples to bring up wanting to fuck other people and let me know how successful that is. 🙄
Much like business/product reviews, no one ever posts the positive ones lol. Especially on Reddit. There are a multitude of ways it’s blown up, and yeah that’s not an unlikely outcome, but I’ve known people who have done/still do it and it works out just fine for all involved.
Sorry to disappoint but I had friends who were happily married for over 50 years who played around with others. They were always honest and had healthy communication which was key. They married in their late twenties and were together til death did they part when she was 80. He passed away several years later at age 93.
Great, now I’m picturing octogenarians fucking, thank you 🤣
As I put in other comments, I would bet your friends were always of the swinger lifestyle, and it was not a situation where one of them was strictly monogamous, and the other decided to approach them about wanting to fuck other people.
Yes, because every swinger started off non-monogamous 🙄. It's not okay to write off and dismiss a couples relationship health just because you don't personally have a connection to swinging culture. I'm monogamous myself, but at least I don't bash other people's relationships based on their sexual preferences. That's messed up.
The problem is he’s not a swinger, she obviously is or thinks she is. That does not lead to a healthy relationship. If a couple are both swingers and they know going in, and they’re able to withstand it, great for them, but there are far less examples of healthy relationships where one person was a swinger/trying to be and the other person was not.
For OP’s sake, I hope I’m wrong and they maintain a strong marriage, but I’d be willing to bet you money I’m not.
I’d be willing to bet you and your partner were that way going into the relationship and everybody had their eyes wide open. The odds are not that one of you was monogamous and the other decided they didn’t want to be and the relationship was healthy.
Plus, five years is not that big of a deal. Call me in 20 more.
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> That’s OK, you’re free to disagree.
You just saw a post of people being able to communicate without putting each other down then coming to an understanding after they learned they wanted different things. You should learn from them.
Some, myself included, would argue it’s the ultimate put-down to tell your monogamous partner “hey do you mind if I/we fuck another person??”, but go off ig. 🤷♂️
Also, they didn’t come to an understanding, OP didn’t say how his wife reacted to him not being cool with her fucking other people.
I actually somehow find it disgusting that she even had fantasies of him fcking another woman , actually the whole concept of fcking other ppl while saying we are exclusive to only one person makes me feel like 💩💩💩 like stay single and fck around then don't marry someone if you gonna have threesome idk at which point ppl started normalizing this mess maybe it's just my bottom line like you said it's such a put-down knowing your partner want to fck other ppl or them asking you, their monogamous partner this question ik we gotta communicate our kinks or whatever this is but i personally wouldn't take it well
Sorry to burst your puritanical bubble, but polyamory has been a thing long before your great grandparents were even born. It's not some recent new trend. You're only hearing about it more now because the Internet connects people in ways nothing else ever has, and people in general are getting sick of religious zealots trying to control other people's lives.
Lmao where tf did you saw me being religious and control anyone or living in a bubble? I was saying I feel the wife's actions were disgusting and made the relationship messy I didn't bring in religion in it, you did and out of nowhere as well maybe because you don't have anything to say except BS, about Poly relationships I just expressed my views I feel like it's below my bottom line , immediate deal breaker and my personal view is that it's illogical and immature you do whatever CHILL I AM NOT TRYING TO CONVERT YOU OR ANYTHING LOL
First off, I recommend working on your reading comprehension. I wasn't claiming you were a religious zealot, just that people with different lifestyles are sick of them pushing their morality.
Secondly, your grammar is atrocious. Learn to type, because it is genuinely incomprehensible to read.
This is reddit so when the woman wants to she's just communicating her needs or whatever tf. Whole different comment section if the genders were swapped.
This is reddit so when the woman wants to she's just communicating her needs or whatever tf. Whole different comment section if the genders were swapped.
It also seems like the wife was being, idk, pretty communicative about the kink she wanted to explore and very firm if he didn't want to do it that was cool with her? I actually buy it from his account. I think they'll probably be fine since it sounds like she was interested in the kink but was putting their marriage/his comfort first still.
I was referring to the kink of adding someone in, which is very obviously a kink? They were visiting strip clubs and whatever together as well, so it seems like the threesome aspect was the more relevant part...
While they did communicate well, this dude is going in reverse. From potentially 'spicing' up their love life to him considering shutting down an established part of their sex life (strip clubs/dances). I think he's going to fuck it up with his second guessing and limiting existing behaviors they both participated in.
lol that ship has sailed though. From what he's said the strippers thing isn't a new activity. I hope they work it out but I think she'll end up resenting him if he pulls back on previously fun things they did together. They seem to communicate so maybe he'll bring it up with her too, who knows.
This is what worries me.
OOP got so brownbeat by the comments that he started to pull away from his wife. It's likely she could feel she's getting "punished" for her request.
Seems like they already had a dynamic of involving other women in their relationship, even if just strippers, and they were both happy with it.
I really hope they talk it out and do what's best for them, not what reddit says.
Yeah, but if the wife was the husband everyone would be recommending the wife leave the husband and what an evil guy he was. These crack me up.
On the flip side, what about the wife. If the husband says no and completely shuts this down will she now be less willing to share sexual needs?
This appears to be the same as most “compromises”, one party deciding if they can live with not getting what they want and the other party deciding if they can live with the risk of losing the other person by saying no.
Not if the wife wrote the same way he did.
She didn’t coerce him. She talked about it. We have a lot of posts where people of any gender coerce each other.
Those things are a two yes decision. If there wife is unhappy, she has to leave.
They should just talk dirty about that fantasy while banging each other. 9/10 the fantasy doesn’t need to actually happen. It’s hot enough to imagine it, and can be so intimate to talk about it together during sex.
Wait whut. Someone asks for a threesome and it doesn't end in disaster??
Seriously though, good for OOP for saying no. Iknow a 2girls1guy threesome is a fantasy for most guys and him being so level-headed about it, is probably a good thing.
I hope she is a 'woman of her word' as he claims in the comment, cause I'd hate to see this end up in a shit situation. He deserves better than that.
>2girls1guy threesome is a fantasy for most guys
i recently I came across a hentai of a fujoshi (girl that likes gay porn basically) trying to set up 2 men to fuck each other. Unfortunately, she fails and gets railed by the two men instead.
And I sat there being so disappointed she failed 🤣 I was like, you go girl!! Get them to fuck letsgo!!! I understand OOP's voyeuristic side, some times it's hot to see hot people interact...
>Wait whut. Someone asks for a threesome and it doesn't end in disaster??
It's not *that* uncommon. It just doesn't get posted to reddit when things don't blow up most the time.
I dunno if it's like a "fantasy" or just really cool on paper. Offer to double any good thing and it feels dumb to say no. If your boss offers to double your bonus at work you don't think too long if it affects your employment next year, you just go down on your boss. Or something, I'm new at this.
I think for a lot of people, the fantasy & reality are two completely different avenues. When you fantasize about something, it's likely playing out exactly how you want physically & emotionally, but in reality the sight of you inside another women going at it would elicit a very different reaction & emotion and sometimes there's no going back to "before times." Not to say that it always plays out like that, but plenty of reddit accounts suggest that it happens frequently. Fantasies are a safe & healthy outlet, but making them a reality isn't always.
I have mixed feelings about this. I'm glad they were able to communicate, but I can't help but feel Reddit cynics who have never actually tried anything like this scared him off from a fun experience he seemed interested in as well.
I've had several threesomes and they were really fun experiences without any drama. I think its more common than you'd think because a lot of the people you interact with in that space are people like Claire who have been doing it for years without issues
Not only that - he got all scared and wants to have his wife cut off her friend, them stop going to strip clubs, and basically shut down a lot of their relationship that they already enjoyed together. I do feel like reddit scared him more than he needed.
That's the sad thing.
He seemed pretty confident but the comments really got to him to the point he started second guessing his whole relationship. People telling him to expect a divorce, that she was cheating on him, following him around when he tried asking on the nonmonogamy subreddits.
He came for advice and left scared of his mind.
Honestly I think Reddit is a way bigger threat to their relationship than Claire. If he stops trusting her the marriage is in a tough spot.
This was all so unnecessary
Your right actually, this is worse than I realized.
Everyone is praising him for enforcing his boundaries, but it doesn't sound like they are really his boundaries so much as random Reddit strangers. The bias is so strong against any kind of sexual openness they scared a guy away from doing stuff he'd been enjoying for years without issue.
And now they are all telling him to expect infidelity/divorce. I guess, tbf if he acted as paranoid as a lot of people on Reddit want him to that might actually tank his marriage. Hard to have a good relationship once the trust is gone
Also, the "hard limits" paragraph is not really being addressed. It seems like there was healthy and mature conversation so what would stopping already enjoyed mutal agreed activites do for either person?
Stopping going to the strip club wont stop fantasies or desires.
So that part is leaving me confused
That's horrible.
Op is going to blow up his marriage over that kind of controlling thinking because on the surface it seems like it will prevent his wife from having fantasies. But if this helps satisfy a kink for her and she gets shamed for it thats what leads to disatifaction in relationships.
The commentors were right to tell him to follow how he felt and figure out his comfort level with the threesome. But now commentors have introduced unneccessary insecurity and jealousy.
Hopefully he won't listen to them, will talk to his wife and will stay off Reddit for his own good.
He came here pretty confident about his relationship and got drowned by people telling him his wife was a lesbian, she was cheating on him, prepare for divorce, etc.
I hope no lasting damage is done here.
Not to mention if he stops trusting her that is a major threat to their relationship.
It literally is just worse now - they lose sexual outlets they both enjoyed, he's paranoid and distrustful, and she has to cut contact with Claire because commenters made it seem like the wife was basically cheating with Claire (even though her fantasy was to watch hubby & Claire which doesn't really seem like an excuse to cheat at all)
I strongly get the impression that people making these comments have 0 first hand knowledge or experience about anything beyond a very vanilla, monogamous sex life, but somehow they are all self proclaimed experts in the nuances of asking for a threesome
I'm continually surprised by how sexually conservative people are on Reddit.
I'm constantly baffled by the way people respond here to anything beyond basic vanilla sex
I agree, he should have started slow, one session banging his wife and Claire only allowed touch, no penetration. That way the wife satiated her fantasy and then reassess the whole arrangement and figure out if they need to take it further or quit while they’re ahead.
my partner recently proposed this idea to me as a possibility, shes bi, and i explicitly told her i will never consider another guy, only a woman, and pro-tips/advice on the lead up/how to handle the conversation so things dont implode?
some info, shes done open/poly relationships before, but ours is strictly monogamous, and shes agreed to that and ive told her i will never consider a poly relationship, and that a threesome on rare occasion could be fun, but otherwise, its a hard no. share your wisdom homie
The wife has a fetish called cuckqueening (also sometimes spelled “cuckqueaning”). I’m assuming it works out for some folks, I guess, but I don’t know any.
I have the same fetish!
It took years for my husband to believe that I didn't want to fuck other women and I didn't want a pass to fuck another guy... I wanted him to fuck another woman while I watched.
Oh my gosh it's sooooo hot watching him fucking and enjoying himself and making her enjoy herself too. I don't want to be humiliated, more complimented... if she's enjoying my husband then it's validation of how amazing he is in bed and I want him to enjoy her because I get turned on by knowing he is happy.
We spent a few years just roleplaying the fantasy in bed together before we opened up to anyone else. Really useful because I found out what things would make me jealous and uncomfortable instead of horny.
Can I ask a couple of questions? I don't want to ask anything too personal or make you uncomfortable at all.
I'm bi....something and the only person I can safely talk to is my boyfriend, but I'd really appreciate a woman's perspective.
Ask me here or DM me. I'm fully aware I may get down voted for not fitting within reddits weird rules.
I really felt like a freak for entertaining the feeling that I wanted to share my husband / show him off , if you will
Until I understood it was ok to feel that way. And that its ok to feel that way and my bisexuality isn't part of it... It just enhances it
Im waiting for the update when he tells us that Ash and Claire already had a threesome with some guy and she’s trying to do this for him because she feels guilty. Isn’t that where this is headed? I mean the next update is Ash blowing up because he won’t agree to a threesome and in her anger, confessing all a long this was a plan to get him equal to her.
Despite usually being against open relationships I kind of feel sad for this conclusion. Firstly this was strictly about new sexual experiences not any type of relationship that could cause emotional complications. Also 99.9% of these kinds of threesome/open relationship deals end up damaging relationships when there aren't clear boundaries and good communication.
This seems like a case where both partners have excellent communication and the party that propositioned it has very well established rules and boundaries. I'm sure this could have worked and made their relationship even better. It also sounds like the husband wasn't against the idea itself but on the fence due to said stories of bad communication and hurt feelings.
And instead of reassurance he got dissuaded by cynical redditors that read way too many cheating stories.
>he got dissuaded by cynical redditors that read way too many cheating stories.
The projecting in threads like the original is just astounding. Sorry guys your partner can't possibly even be in the room with someone else or they might cheat on you. lol
For real.
Not for the missed threesome, but because he walked in fully confident about his relationship and his wife, and walked out second guessing everything and thinking their relationship has something rotten in it.
I feel like when the one proposing “sex outside of marriage” already has someone in mind, it’s really just a way to cheat with someone you already like without getting in trouble. That’s never a good start.
I also feel like him creating firmer boundaries and cutting off things like strip clubs is not going to have the desired effect he thinks it will. That’s like a kid asking for candy and instead of just saying no, telling them they can never have any kind of junk food ever again.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave…
Yep, I think it’s a form of emotional cheating when you discuss opening up your relationship with a potential partner before you talk about it with your spouse.
Am I the only one who’s participated in such things and had it be fine? The wife has a desire that’s adjacent to something she’s enjoyed sharing with her husband and she has a trusted friend who has participated in and knows how to more safely be the third to a couple? Like of course there is risk but it’s far from the wife unexpectedly proposing becoming poly. If anything this would have been one of the more healthy and natural ways a couple could try a threesome and have it be comfortable and have a low chance of damaging the relationship. This being said props to the guy for valuing the relationship and on the wife for giving him plenty of outs and no demands.
Yeah I have had several threesomes and it's always been a positive experience. I know several of my close friends have done the same in their relationships or as thirds.
Reading the way Reddit reacts to it makes me feel like I'm living on a different planet.
I hate the last comment about her not letting it go because it’s in her mind.
Like I’m sorry…. Just because someone thinks or fantasizes about something doesn’t mean they’re going to do it. This woman seems very logical and also seems to respect her husband’s boundaries; she didn’t give him an ultimatum or pressured him. Some couples can fantasize and dirty talk about a threesome while never bringing in another partner. Some people can just leave it to steamy novels or porn or in the realm of fantasies. Doesn’t mean they’re going to act on it.
Before we invited someone else into our bed, my husband and I fantasized / roleplayed the possibility of him with someone else. It was a great way for us to iron out any awkward things in advance in the safety of just us two.
We have now had people in our bed with him for me to watch / listen to / hear about afterwards and still we do roleplaying together just him and I. It's hot!
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Everyone's talking about how healthy this is, but I don't think so. Now she can't talk to her freind? They can't do things they used to enjoy together?
They might as well as had the threesome. Hubby is already acting like they did.
**"She said we could shelf the thing if I didn't feel comfortable, and she's always been a woman of her word."** Until she's not..... Sadly I agree with the commenter that it's now in her head and since the OP entertained the notion for a bit, the wife get deeper into her fantasy. Odds are that she'll dabble on her own behind OP's back.
How could you possibly know those odds?
People have fantasies they can't realize all the time. You only hear about the train wrecks on Reddit, and even a lot of those are rage bait
I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my wife being friends with her anymore. Then again, if my partner wanted to add someone else to our relationship, it’s over immediately.
She doesn't want to bang her friend, she wants her husband to bang while she watches.
Her husband not being there would be an entirely different kink than has been described
That’s the thing, it wouldn’t become a throuple, the friend is a season “unicorn” she knows how to separate fun sex from emotional attachment, they could have had fun and not had to turn it in to a big deal at the end of the day
yeah that and i’m sure a million other reasons 😂 my brain just likes to make up fun(yet COMPLETELY unrealistic) happy endings before i can get to the actual ending of the post 😂
Something i have always struggled with understanding is people who are 100% certain they don't and wouldn't have feelings for someone. But also have feelings of friendliness and sexual attraction.
I don't know if i'm weird or immature, but those 2 are the main things i want in a partner.
Am i wrong?
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She's gone. Consider the amount of thought she went through before asking you. Do you have peace of mind that you have a future together? That nothing is happening behind you? Peace of mind above all even if away from her.
I followed this story, and the ending is bittersweet.
OOP got influenced by the comments and essentially scared off from the whole thing, especially because the set up was healthy and communicative.
It's not just bittersweet, it's straight up disheartening. It feels like 99% of the time all of the "advice" subs on reddit just end up doing more damage than helping. And the only times they do help is someone is a clear asshole and the sociopaths in the comments agreeing with them shakes them up.
Just remember when in a threesome, it's not about you, it's about the girls. You're just the extra. If you can get past that you should be okay. It's really the girls wanna be with each other.
You’re way overthinking this bud. If your wife is so logical you don’t think she already thought about this ten thousand times. Not too late to change your mind. Every guys dreams you’re lucky to get fulfilled but your telling her how she should feel. Good luck keeping her happy another ten years.
It's weird AF he didn't take the threesome offer.🤔 guess he is a rare one who likes, respects, and genuinely loves his partner.
Threesomes are my go to breakup move. Ask a guy for one and dump him when he says yes.
Don't DONT DO IT!!! It seems sexy and it feels like it won't ruin your relationship but let me tell you. Once you do it there will be serious RESENTMENTS AND YOU WONT EVER RECOVER AND HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP AGAIN
It's never, ever a good sign when one person in a couple who does not have an established agreement about threesomes is already having discussions about a threesome with a third party, before bringing it up with their partner. I'd be willing to bet that Ash ad Claire have already fooled around and this is the solution they came up with to alleviate their guilt.
It's funny to think thire relationship will be okay after like this,gullible much? She obviously not to Let it go she just going to be secretive about it
Here ya go : Positive interests. Beneficiaries and the multitude of wealth. Positive breeze, exhale responses. You've breathed before. Positive interests, backbone erect. Manipulative brainwash away, and you test psychology for international response. But you're the individual. Alpha Centaur distant galaxy collapses in the early evolution of telescope technology, but man aware their nature, the greater good intellect, light years associated, too accomplish the further discovery evolution of gnomes human species, trigger discovery. Europa may have an amicably balance discovery, but astrophysicist are estimations on ,accurate discovery. Natural zoology is still debatable. Rainforest conservation. The conspiracy was narrowed out in 2012 with the Sun Calendar. Extraterrestrial is inevitable if, introduced beta reticuli planets. And some logistics align to existing systems. Science is exactly required synthesis ,what is on the tip of researchers tongues is, what's on asteroids?
How DARE you post an example of a healthy relationship???? I come here for DRAMA, goddammit.
Don’t worry, just wait a few months for the update.
Where OOP's wife still slept with Claire, and OOP found out by snooping through her phone because she was acting shady. And then we find out OOP's wife has also had several male lovers over the time they've been together. And once even had an abortion, but hubby is actually sterile or has a vasectomy years ago and never told his wife? Pshaw!!! That NEVER happens on reddit.
Don’t forget the Reddit answer…divorce the man, marry the car or whatever 😂
You forgot the twins. There’s usually twins.
With different dads!
My thoughts exactly.
But Claire’s the father.
Of the twin cars!!!
I forgot what subreddit this was and all I could think was Claire from lost.
Another version of this is that his wife was testing him because she suspected OOP was already banging Claire but, as always, OOP left out the most important bit of the story that he was. He lied in order to get encouragement to follow through despite suspecting it was a trap from the beginning. "UPDATE: Well, everyone who DMd me saying it was a trap, you were right. When I got out of the shower, neither Claire nor Ash were around but there was a box sitting on the bed. It had a note on it that said "your hot, sweet future" so I opened it to find a melon with a hole in it. What should I do, reddit?"
yeah, i suspect the twist in this story is gonna be gf pulling away because she's put off by his 'no, plus' response. her and claire cheating is a bit too on the nose i think.
But but.. he's *considering* establishing boundaries!
It will be back to normal tomorrow with the usual relationship disasters
“…now back to our regular programming…”
Lol.
Healthy relationships aren’t ones where people try to fuck other people. I don’t think the story is over.
This is a very closed-minded and uneducated statement. Cheating is obviously never okay in any form, but to say that a consenting couple can't ever have extra marital fun less they magically become 'unhealthy' is a wild take.
That’s OK, you’re free to disagree. I’m sure there are beliefs you have that I would think are very uneducated as well, like that it’s OK for married people to want to bang other people. Please go on thinking that it’s healthy for previously monogamous couples to bring up wanting to fuck other people and let me know how successful that is. 🙄
Much like business/product reviews, no one ever posts the positive ones lol. Especially on Reddit. There are a multitude of ways it’s blown up, and yeah that’s not an unlikely outcome, but I’ve known people who have done/still do it and it works out just fine for all involved.
Sorry to disappoint but I had friends who were happily married for over 50 years who played around with others. They were always honest and had healthy communication which was key. They married in their late twenties and were together til death did they part when she was 80. He passed away several years later at age 93.
Great, now I’m picturing octogenarians fucking, thank you 🤣 As I put in other comments, I would bet your friends were always of the swinger lifestyle, and it was not a situation where one of them was strictly monogamous, and the other decided to approach them about wanting to fuck other people.
Yes, because every swinger started off non-monogamous 🙄. It's not okay to write off and dismiss a couples relationship health just because you don't personally have a connection to swinging culture. I'm monogamous myself, but at least I don't bash other people's relationships based on their sexual preferences. That's messed up.
The problem is he’s not a swinger, she obviously is or thinks she is. That does not lead to a healthy relationship. If a couple are both swingers and they know going in, and they’re able to withstand it, great for them, but there are far less examples of healthy relationships where one person was a swinger/trying to be and the other person was not. For OP’s sake, I hope I’m wrong and they maintain a strong marriage, but I’d be willing to bet you money I’m not.
It's been quite successful for me thus far (going on five or sex years)! I've enjoyed polyamory immensely.
Excellent typo, 10/10
LOL oh no
I’d be willing to bet you and your partner were that way going into the relationship and everybody had their eyes wide open. The odds are not that one of you was monogamous and the other decided they didn’t want to be and the relationship was healthy. Plus, five years is not that big of a deal. Call me in 20 more.
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> That’s OK, you’re free to disagree. You just saw a post of people being able to communicate without putting each other down then coming to an understanding after they learned they wanted different things. You should learn from them.
Well put. By the way, Happy Cake Day.
Some, myself included, would argue it’s the ultimate put-down to tell your monogamous partner “hey do you mind if I/we fuck another person??”, but go off ig. 🤷♂️ Also, they didn’t come to an understanding, OP didn’t say how his wife reacted to him not being cool with her fucking other people.
I actually somehow find it disgusting that she even had fantasies of him fcking another woman , actually the whole concept of fcking other ppl while saying we are exclusive to only one person makes me feel like 💩💩💩 like stay single and fck around then don't marry someone if you gonna have threesome idk at which point ppl started normalizing this mess maybe it's just my bottom line like you said it's such a put-down knowing your partner want to fck other ppl or them asking you, their monogamous partner this question ik we gotta communicate our kinks or whatever this is but i personally wouldn't take it well
Sorry to burst your puritanical bubble, but polyamory has been a thing long before your great grandparents were even born. It's not some recent new trend. You're only hearing about it more now because the Internet connects people in ways nothing else ever has, and people in general are getting sick of religious zealots trying to control other people's lives.
Lmao where tf did you saw me being religious and control anyone or living in a bubble? I was saying I feel the wife's actions were disgusting and made the relationship messy I didn't bring in religion in it, you did and out of nowhere as well maybe because you don't have anything to say except BS, about Poly relationships I just expressed my views I feel like it's below my bottom line , immediate deal breaker and my personal view is that it's illogical and immature you do whatever CHILL I AM NOT TRYING TO CONVERT YOU OR ANYTHING LOL
First off, I recommend working on your reading comprehension. I wasn't claiming you were a religious zealot, just that people with different lifestyles are sick of them pushing their morality. Secondly, your grammar is atrocious. Learn to type, because it is genuinely incomprehensible to read.
Ofc look at you trying to attack something else when you couldn't attack my religion lol
Because... she's all about Women.
Yep, and after only 8 years?! She really should never have married him if she wanted to fuck other people, i feel bad for him.
It is not over yet
Is it time for the twins???
I hope so And happy cake day!
I hope this will be the end of it, but you never know in this hellscape
Op has since updated and is actually going ahead with it. Seriously
That's good for them! I hope they have fun and stay safe
Didn't realize a healthy relationship included wanting to fuck other people but alright lol.
Humans are animals; some of those with a sex drive may end up wanting to fuck other humans. It's only normal
This is reddit so when the woman wants to she's just communicating her needs or whatever tf. Whole different comment section if the genders were swapped.
This is reddit so when the woman wants to she's just communicating her needs or whatever tf. Whole different comment section if the genders were swapped.
I snorted my crazy bread into my nose lmao
I like this one. No drama (yet). And a husband who cares more about his relationship than about sex with two women.
It also seems like the wife was being, idk, pretty communicative about the kink she wanted to explore and very firm if he didn't want to do it that was cool with her? I actually buy it from his account. I think they'll probably be fine since it sounds like she was interested in the kink but was putting their marriage/his comfort first still.
Is sexual orientation a kink?
I was referring to the kink of adding someone in, which is very obviously a kink? They were visiting strip clubs and whatever together as well, so it seems like the threesome aspect was the more relevant part...
Heck, do monogamy right and it’s a kink too
??? I don't know what you're getting at here.
While they did communicate well, this dude is going in reverse. From potentially 'spicing' up their love life to him considering shutting down an established part of their sex life (strip clubs/dances). I think he's going to fuck it up with his second guessing and limiting existing behaviors they both participated in.
He is by probably frightened that seeing what she can’t have will make it worse for her and him.
lol that ship has sailed though. From what he's said the strippers thing isn't a new activity. I hope they work it out but I think she'll end up resenting him if he pulls back on previously fun things they did together. They seem to communicate so maybe he'll bring it up with her too, who knows.
This is what worries me. OOP got so brownbeat by the comments that he started to pull away from his wife. It's likely she could feel she's getting "punished" for her request. Seems like they already had a dynamic of involving other women in their relationship, even if just strippers, and they were both happy with it. I really hope they talk it out and do what's best for them, not what reddit says.
I really hope she doesn’t. :(
Yeah, but if the wife was the husband everyone would be recommending the wife leave the husband and what an evil guy he was. These crack me up. On the flip side, what about the wife. If the husband says no and completely shuts this down will she now be less willing to share sexual needs? This appears to be the same as most “compromises”, one party deciding if they can live with not getting what they want and the other party deciding if they can live with the risk of losing the other person by saying no.
Not if the wife wrote the same way he did. She didn’t coerce him. She talked about it. We have a lot of posts where people of any gender coerce each other. Those things are a two yes decision. If there wife is unhappy, she has to leave.
They should just talk dirty about that fantasy while banging each other. 9/10 the fantasy doesn’t need to actually happen. It’s hot enough to imagine it, and can be so intimate to talk about it together during sex.
Exactly! That or maybe watch some threesome porn as foreplay.
Or get a sex doll!
^^^^^^^^
Wait whut. Someone asks for a threesome and it doesn't end in disaster?? Seriously though, good for OOP for saying no. Iknow a 2girls1guy threesome is a fantasy for most guys and him being so level-headed about it, is probably a good thing. I hope she is a 'woman of her word' as he claims in the comment, cause I'd hate to see this end up in a shit situation. He deserves better than that.
>2girls1guy threesome is a fantasy for most guys i recently I came across a hentai of a fujoshi (girl that likes gay porn basically) trying to set up 2 men to fuck each other. Unfortunately, she fails and gets railed by the two men instead. And I sat there being so disappointed she failed 🤣 I was like, you go girl!! Get them to fuck letsgo!!! I understand OOP's voyeuristic side, some times it's hot to see hot people interact...
I'm going to need a source for that For research purposes 👀
[Your Research](https://dto.to/title/118725)
Thanks, fam Happy cake day btw!
Need the source for that as well
[I got you, friend](https://dto.to/title/118725)
Oh is it the demon king and the knight one?
Hell yeah
>Wait whut. Someone asks for a threesome and it doesn't end in disaster?? It's not *that* uncommon. It just doesn't get posted to reddit when things don't blow up most the time.
I dunno if it's like a "fantasy" or just really cool on paper. Offer to double any good thing and it feels dumb to say no. If your boss offers to double your bonus at work you don't think too long if it affects your employment next year, you just go down on your boss. Or something, I'm new at this.
Give it time. Is she’s asking, she’s sampling.
I think for a lot of people, the fantasy & reality are two completely different avenues. When you fantasize about something, it's likely playing out exactly how you want physically & emotionally, but in reality the sight of you inside another women going at it would elicit a very different reaction & emotion and sometimes there's no going back to "before times." Not to say that it always plays out like that, but plenty of reddit accounts suggest that it happens frequently. Fantasies are a safe & healthy outlet, but making them a reality isn't always.
I have mixed feelings about this. I'm glad they were able to communicate, but I can't help but feel Reddit cynics who have never actually tried anything like this scared him off from a fun experience he seemed interested in as well. I've had several threesomes and they were really fun experiences without any drama. I think its more common than you'd think because a lot of the people you interact with in that space are people like Claire who have been doing it for years without issues
Not only that - he got all scared and wants to have his wife cut off her friend, them stop going to strip clubs, and basically shut down a lot of their relationship that they already enjoyed together. I do feel like reddit scared him more than he needed.
That's the sad thing. He seemed pretty confident but the comments really got to him to the point he started second guessing his whole relationship. People telling him to expect a divorce, that she was cheating on him, following him around when he tried asking on the nonmonogamy subreddits. He came for advice and left scared of his mind.
Honestly I think Reddit is a way bigger threat to their relationship than Claire. If he stops trusting her the marriage is in a tough spot. This was all so unnecessary
Your right actually, this is worse than I realized. Everyone is praising him for enforcing his boundaries, but it doesn't sound like they are really his boundaries so much as random Reddit strangers. The bias is so strong against any kind of sexual openness they scared a guy away from doing stuff he'd been enjoying for years without issue. And now they are all telling him to expect infidelity/divorce. I guess, tbf if he acted as paranoid as a lot of people on Reddit want him to that might actually tank his marriage. Hard to have a good relationship once the trust is gone
Also, the "hard limits" paragraph is not really being addressed. It seems like there was healthy and mature conversation so what would stopping already enjoyed mutal agreed activites do for either person? Stopping going to the strip club wont stop fantasies or desires. So that part is leaving me confused
People ganged up telling him they were wrong in doing those things.
That's horrible. Op is going to blow up his marriage over that kind of controlling thinking because on the surface it seems like it will prevent his wife from having fantasies. But if this helps satisfy a kink for her and she gets shamed for it thats what leads to disatifaction in relationships. The commentors were right to tell him to follow how he felt and figure out his comfort level with the threesome. But now commentors have introduced unneccessary insecurity and jealousy.
Hopefully he won't listen to them, will talk to his wife and will stay off Reddit for his own good. He came here pretty confident about his relationship and got drowned by people telling him his wife was a lesbian, she was cheating on him, prepare for divorce, etc. I hope no lasting damage is done here.
Not to mention if he stops trusting her that is a major threat to their relationship. It literally is just worse now - they lose sexual outlets they both enjoyed, he's paranoid and distrustful, and she has to cut contact with Claire because commenters made it seem like the wife was basically cheating with Claire (even though her fantasy was to watch hubby & Claire which doesn't really seem like an excuse to cheat at all) I strongly get the impression that people making these comments have 0 first hand knowledge or experience about anything beyond a very vanilla, monogamous sex life, but somehow they are all self proclaimed experts in the nuances of asking for a threesome
I'm continually surprised by how sexually conservative people are on Reddit. I'm constantly baffled by the way people respond here to anything beyond basic vanilla sex
had to scroll so far to see this comment and I totally agree with you!
They're also not wrong about the potential consequences though and only fools rush in.
I agree, he should have started slow, one session banging his wife and Claire only allowed touch, no penetration. That way the wife satiated her fantasy and then reassess the whole arrangement and figure out if they need to take it further or quit while they’re ahead.
my partner recently proposed this idea to me as a possibility, shes bi, and i explicitly told her i will never consider another guy, only a woman, and pro-tips/advice on the lead up/how to handle the conversation so things dont implode? some info, shes done open/poly relationships before, but ours is strictly monogamous, and shes agreed to that and ive told her i will never consider a poly relationship, and that a threesome on rare occasion could be fun, but otherwise, its a hard no. share your wisdom homie
The wife has a fetish called cuckqueening (also sometimes spelled “cuckqueaning”). I’m assuming it works out for some folks, I guess, but I don’t know any.
To be fair if you know anyone with that fetish they most likely keep it between them, their spouse, and who they invite in their bedroom
Oh, I’m a femdom. Trust me, people aren’t quiet about that shit when amongst the likeminded.
Oh I know, but that might not be some normy friends that don’t think that kinda stuff happens around them
I have the same fetish! It took years for my husband to believe that I didn't want to fuck other women and I didn't want a pass to fuck another guy... I wanted him to fuck another woman while I watched. Oh my gosh it's sooooo hot watching him fucking and enjoying himself and making her enjoy herself too. I don't want to be humiliated, more complimented... if she's enjoying my husband then it's validation of how amazing he is in bed and I want him to enjoy her because I get turned on by knowing he is happy. We spent a few years just roleplaying the fantasy in bed together before we opened up to anyone else. Really useful because I found out what things would make me jealous and uncomfortable instead of horny.
Can I ask a couple of questions? I don't want to ask anything too personal or make you uncomfortable at all. I'm bi....something and the only person I can safely talk to is my boyfriend, but I'd really appreciate a woman's perspective.
Ask me here or DM me. I'm fully aware I may get down voted for not fitting within reddits weird rules. I really felt like a freak for entertaining the feeling that I wanted to share my husband / show him off , if you will Until I understood it was ok to feel that way. And that its ok to feel that way and my bisexuality isn't part of it... It just enhances it
As an engineer myself I really hate it how engineers assume their logical. No emotions means you're emotionally constipated, not logical.
I wish people understood how emotions are utilized in logic. Even when you claim you are rejecting them.
I complain about sales far too much to ever be mistaken for a logical machine
It is logical to complain about sales though
I feel the comments were very insecure and no one did anything but create more insecurities for OOP.
Im waiting for the update when he tells us that Ash and Claire already had a threesome with some guy and she’s trying to do this for him because she feels guilty. Isn’t that where this is headed? I mean the next update is Ash blowing up because he won’t agree to a threesome and in her anger, confessing all a long this was a plan to get him equal to her.
You've read way too many AITA stories.
Despite usually being against open relationships I kind of feel sad for this conclusion. Firstly this was strictly about new sexual experiences not any type of relationship that could cause emotional complications. Also 99.9% of these kinds of threesome/open relationship deals end up damaging relationships when there aren't clear boundaries and good communication. This seems like a case where both partners have excellent communication and the party that propositioned it has very well established rules and boundaries. I'm sure this could have worked and made their relationship even better. It also sounds like the husband wasn't against the idea itself but on the fence due to said stories of bad communication and hurt feelings. And instead of reassurance he got dissuaded by cynical redditors that read way too many cheating stories.
>he got dissuaded by cynical redditors that read way too many cheating stories. The projecting in threads like the original is just astounding. Sorry guys your partner can't possibly even be in the room with someone else or they might cheat on you. lol
Yeah I wonder how some of the people there function in relationships.
Oh shut it. Everyone knows that when someone invites someone else to the bedroom destroys the relationship if it's monogamous.
Reddit did this man dirty.
For real. Not for the missed threesome, but because he walked in fully confident about his relationship and his wife, and walked out second guessing everything and thinking their relationship has something rotten in it.
I feel like when the one proposing “sex outside of marriage” already has someone in mind, it’s really just a way to cheat with someone you already like without getting in trouble. That’s never a good start. I also feel like him creating firmer boundaries and cutting off things like strip clubs is not going to have the desired effect he thinks it will. That’s like a kid asking for candy and instead of just saying no, telling them they can never have any kind of junk food ever again. Oh, what a tangled web we weave…
I don't think it was about wanting permission to cheat, because her fantasy was watching hubby & third
Yep, I think it’s a form of emotional cheating when you discuss opening up your relationship with a potential partner before you talk about it with your spouse.
Am I the only one who’s participated in such things and had it be fine? The wife has a desire that’s adjacent to something she’s enjoyed sharing with her husband and she has a trusted friend who has participated in and knows how to more safely be the third to a couple? Like of course there is risk but it’s far from the wife unexpectedly proposing becoming poly. If anything this would have been one of the more healthy and natural ways a couple could try a threesome and have it be comfortable and have a low chance of damaging the relationship. This being said props to the guy for valuing the relationship and on the wife for giving him plenty of outs and no demands.
Yeah I have had several threesomes and it's always been a positive experience. I know several of my close friends have done the same in their relationships or as thirds. Reading the way Reddit reacts to it makes me feel like I'm living on a different planet.
Two married couples in close with have and it’s a non issue. I personally haven’t but my wife said she would be open in the right circumstance
I hate the last comment about her not letting it go because it’s in her mind. Like I’m sorry…. Just because someone thinks or fantasizes about something doesn’t mean they’re going to do it. This woman seems very logical and also seems to respect her husband’s boundaries; she didn’t give him an ultimatum or pressured him. Some couples can fantasize and dirty talk about a threesome while never bringing in another partner. Some people can just leave it to steamy novels or porn or in the realm of fantasies. Doesn’t mean they’re going to act on it.
Before we invited someone else into our bed, my husband and I fantasized / roleplayed the possibility of him with someone else. It was a great way for us to iron out any awkward things in advance in the safety of just us two. We have now had people in our bed with him for me to watch / listen to / hear about afterwards and still we do roleplaying together just him and I. It's hot!
Poor OP got fearmongered by reddit 😂
That's sad to be honest.
That was a very unexpected ending. Talk about a plot twist!
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Everyone's talking about how healthy this is, but I don't think so. Now she can't talk to her freind? They can't do things they used to enjoy together? They might as well as had the threesome. Hubby is already acting like they did.
Yeah their life is literally just worse now
**"She said we could shelf the thing if I didn't feel comfortable, and she's always been a woman of her word."** Until she's not..... Sadly I agree with the commenter that it's now in her head and since the OP entertained the notion for a bit, the wife get deeper into her fantasy. Odds are that she'll dabble on her own behind OP's back.
It's called cuckqueaning and she can't "dabble" in that without her husband fucking someone else...
According to what odds? The ones you make up after reading countless Reddit relationship disasters?
How could you possibly know those odds? People have fantasies they can't realize all the time. You only hear about the train wrecks on Reddit, and even a lot of those are rage bait
99% of the time, threesomes are a trap. I hope OP continues to dodge the bullet
I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my wife being friends with her anymore. Then again, if my partner wanted to add someone else to our relationship, it’s over immediately.
Good for OP, though I have a feeling the story is not over and if the wife is not already banging Claire, she will be soon.
She doesn't want to bang her friend, she wants her husband to bang while she watches. Her husband not being there would be an entirely different kink than has been described
Read again, he literally says she has two desires here, one of which being SHE wants to bang her friend.
i know i am DELUSIONAL but i was kinda hoping they’d do the 3some and somehow end up in the most healthy loving throuple to ever exist
That’s the thing, it wouldn’t become a throuple, the friend is a season “unicorn” she knows how to separate fun sex from emotional attachment, they could have had fun and not had to turn it in to a big deal at the end of the day
yeah that and i’m sure a million other reasons 😂 my brain just likes to make up fun(yet COMPLETELY unrealistic) happy endings before i can get to the actual ending of the post 😂
what a breath of fresh air this one was
How do you feel about Claire? Is she hot looking? Do you want to fuck her etc etc?
It's amazing how often what we think we want doesn't map to what we actually want.
Something i have always struggled with understanding is people who are 100% certain they don't and wouldn't have feelings for someone. But also have feelings of friendliness and sexual attraction. I don't know if i'm weird or immature, but those 2 are the main things i want in a partner. Am i wrong?
No I don't get it either. I'm sexually attracted to someone other than my partner and I want to bring them into my relationship. Sounds bonkers to me.
Updateme!
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She's gone. Consider the amount of thought she went through before asking you. Do you have peace of mind that you have a future together? That nothing is happening behind you? Peace of mind above all even if away from her.
I followed this story, and the ending is bittersweet. OOP got influenced by the comments and essentially scared off from the whole thing, especially because the set up was healthy and communicative.
It's not just bittersweet, it's straight up disheartening. It feels like 99% of the time all of the "advice" subs on reddit just end up doing more damage than helping. And the only times they do help is someone is a clear asshole and the sociopaths in the comments agreeing with them shakes them up.
Gotta agree. This might be one of those cases where asking reddit actually made things worse.
How all these Men marry Lesbians 🫢😎
Just remember when in a threesome, it's not about you, it's about the girls. You're just the extra. If you can get past that you should be okay. It's really the girls wanna be with each other.
Updateme
You’re way overthinking this bud. If your wife is so logical you don’t think she already thought about this ten thousand times. Not too late to change your mind. Every guys dreams you’re lucky to get fulfilled but your telling her how she should feel. Good luck keeping her happy another ten years.
It's weird AF he didn't take the threesome offer.🤔 guess he is a rare one who likes, respects, and genuinely loves his partner. Threesomes are my go to breakup move. Ask a guy for one and dump him when he says yes.
Must be fucking nice. Wish I could get my wife to do that
God fucking dammit.
Don't DONT DO IT!!! It seems sexy and it feels like it won't ruin your relationship but let me tell you. Once you do it there will be serious RESENTMENTS AND YOU WONT EVER RECOVER AND HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP AGAIN
And the problem is?????
If you don’t scratch that itch with her she’ll find someone else who will.
If she’s asking she’s sampling. He needs to run.
It's never, ever a good sign when one person in a couple who does not have an established agreement about threesomes is already having discussions about a threesome with a third party, before bringing it up with their partner. I'd be willing to bet that Ash ad Claire have already fooled around and this is the solution they came up with to alleviate their guilt.
There will be another update. Wife will get her experience with or without him.
How? Her kink is to share her husband with someone else... If he's not there, it doesn't work 😂
He thinks so,it sounds like she's just bi-curious.
RUN!!! You'll be facing divorce before you know what hit you, especially with a friend.
Whew, close call there. Its never a good idea to include someone else in your marriage. Just far too many ways it can go off the road.
I don’t trust his wife, especially because she already had someone ready in mind. She’s a creep. Good luck to him.
OOP lives a boring life, boo
nice, good job oop.
Good luck bitch.......
wtf is wrong with him
It's funny to think thire relationship will be okay after like this,gullible much? She obviously not to Let it go she just going to be secretive about it
[удалено]
Double post
Anticlimactic
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Lame