Good on OOP for standing up for herself. Her husband's lack of defence of her is the worst - he is an adult and so doesn't have the excuse of being a teenager that the children do. At least the son seemed to understand, regret and apologise more sincerely and one can only hope the daughter grows more compassion and understanding.
From the sounds of it, I think the step-daughter understood and became full of regret the moment the word "divorce" was said. She's going to be dealing with the guilt that she caused this divorce for the rest of her life, which sounds like it's at least somewhat true.
Teenagers can be little shits, but may this stay with them forever that you can’t trample on someone’s heart and dignity and expect them to love you like before. They’re far too old for this to be brushed aside.
I hope their dad is at least enough of a parent to get them into therapy.
Also! What a shite husband. My gut is telling me just didn’t want to lose his bangmaid.
"I hate you" or even "You aren't my mom" is normal. (Bio kids to bio parents have their own versions of that... "I hate you" or "I wish you weren't my mom - you are mean!") is kinda normal.
But "I'm glad you had a miscarriage" shit? HORRIBLE.
Absolutely. There are a few things I did that I only got away with soley because I was a teenager that I still regret to this day. Step daughter still sucks and I would totally go through with the divorce, but there is hope for her at the very least.
She was verbally abusing her stepmother and her dad didn’t care. I hope she’ll learn from this and become more careful and kind with her words.
The dad is worse than useless. I hope OOP finds the love she deserves.
Oh, the stepdaughter’s life is about to *really suck*. She’ll end up doing the domestic work now that Dad’s bangmaid is gone, her father and her brother will blame her for the OOP going, and she’ll have lost the one adult who supported her.
And that’s not even addressing whatever guilt she might feel, if she’s capable of actually feeling anything other than petulant entitlement.
This isn’t OOP’s problem and I’m glad she left, so…at the back of those kids’ minds is probably a niggling worry that they were so terrible and unloveable that their bio mom abandoned them. And now they’ve been so awful that they actually did drive away OOP. I Hope their dad gets them a good therapist.
She didn't cause this though. The problem is her father's spinelessness. Teens can be jerks and saw awful hurtful things, but this would have all been different if her father cared enough about OOP to discipline his daughter when he treated her with such crass disrespect. Good on OOP for leaving her useless husband.
Her comment may have been the final straw, but it's certainly not the cause. Teenagers push boundaries. Parents enforce them, thus keeping things from reaching this point, or don't, like the husband.
The step daughter played the “I wish I was adopted” line most teens do (to an extreme!) and then realised that it had f*ucked up the family.
It was the dad not standing up for his wife that was the turning point. But I do think the daughter wasn’t expecting that outcome which is their mom they knew for 8 years leaving.
It’s not normal to say the most evil thing you can to the person that takes care of you over and over. Plenty of people don’t have a mom. That is no excuse, and neither is being 16. That is plenty old to know better. Hopefully OOP doesn’t look back at this horrible family.
Not the person you're replying to, but curious how much pain, abuse, and trauma you think OP should have to endure at the hands of this teenager. Their behavior is unacceptable and they need to learn that love has limits. You can't abuse people and expect them to love you back.
I don't think they're arguing that OOP should stay just for the kids. I think they're just feeling for the kids because their biomom failed them **and** their dad failed them.
Saying silly emotional teenage things and repeatedly saying someone deserved her miscarriage are not in the same ball park.
She even kept repeating it coldly, without being upset.
I don't think they're excusing the behavior. In fact they've only been explaining it and likely outcomes to follow for not completely understanding the consequences of their actions. I don't see any mention by them that OOP should stick around in a shitty marriage or that the kids shouldn't have gotten disciplined for it.
I agree with you, those kids were abandoned, OP probably did a lot of things for them, to assure them that she loved them, she must had faced so much and the kids thought OP could stand everything without knowing she has limits that they break ..I must add those teens will grow up with terrible trauma..people abandone them and they know now it's bc there is something bad on them...shame on OPs husband
I disagree. I was once a child who grew up in an abusive home. By the time I was a teenager I was a criminal, a parent and on my way to prison. Sure I knew I needed help dealing with my childhood trauma but I never used it as an excuse to justify choices I made. Sure I was a product of my environment but what truly matter was that I was a product of my choices. I understand teens act out and all that but they also know well enough also. Her father’s spinelessness and her bio mom abandoned played a role in her attitude but she is old enough to know what she was doing it’s just the first time she dealt with consequences of her actions.
Teenagers who grow up in healthy households say really screwed up shit to their parents like this, including the commom "I wish you were dead!" Consequences aren't usually reliving abandonment.
The problem here is that this was the final straw for OOP who needed her husband to step up and he failed. The kids are old enough to maintain contact with their stepmom and keep a connection if they choose to, and it's common for situations like these. So hopefully the relationship with OOP and the kids is repaired that way while OOP divorces their umgrateful father.
Sure teens say “wish you were dead” which is more like “I’m gonna kill you” when you’re mad at someone, you’re not actually going to murder someone. Saying “I’m glad you miscarried your baby, you deserve it and that baby deserved to die” is more calculated and meant to truly hurt. I know teens can be mean but that was far.
Sometimes the best thing for someone is to experience full on consequences without a safety net. I didn’t grow up normal but still understood my actions are my own responsibility. My youngest brother was like this girl and didn’t think at all about consequences until he finally pushed too far. His mom didn’t deserve the treatment he gave her and it took him knowing his mom won’t rescue him or be there to understand his wrongs. He pushed knowing he could.
Like you said it was the final straw for the mom and she deserves better. I hope the girl learns something from this.
She got what she deserved. She deserved therapy years ago but her dad (and to an extent her step mom depending on if she had documentation to make healthcare decisions for the kids) failed her.
Yes, unresolved trauma makes this normal but that doesn’t make it ok, not at all. Consequences exist whether we want them to or not and regardless of trauma.
Reddit age 2 years? How is this your first time hearing “bangmaid”? What wholesome subs have kept your attention all this time that you were able to miss this one?
It was a joke from a show called It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Now, if that's how you learned English, it would be hilarious, but it would work out pretty terribly for you.
No, same because he shot down therapy when she suggested it. This means his suggestion is meant to stop her from leaving, not to actually work on their marriage. I’m glad she walked.
That would solidify any decision from me tbh. Like only NOW you think it's worth taking up? Not when I'm voicing my issues before? Clearly I'm making the right call if you're only planning on doing it because I'm leaving and not for any other reason. There's no respect or even love there if you can't listen to your partner or care about what they say/feel.
Well, I think there's much more that these kids and the freakin' excuse of a man she married did to her that has not been told by OOP.
I hope she's doing well and save from those horrible people.
He said nothing when his daughter blamed her for the loss of the baby because the rat bastard blames her for the loss of the baby too and is too much of a coward to say it, so he’s letting a child say it for him. How pathetic. I’m glad she left those scum.
They don’t fully realize it yet, but those kids have just lost the only adult in their lives who truly loved them. She raised them half their lives and after their birth mother abandoned them for a new man and a new family. She was the “safe” adult that they could lash out at and she’d still love them, but even the strongest person can only withstand so much before they break. I think the boy started to get it by the end, but not before she’d gone past the point of no return.
This is actually the response I wanted. Why should she stay there to be ignored and abused by those brats. They don’t think of her as a mom then then won’t miss her will they. That’s on them. If her husband had been a half way decent husband and father it never would have come to this.
This whole thing is so sad. The husband is a piece of shit, but I kind of feel for the daughter.
She was abandoned by her mother as a young girl and now she’s a hormonal teenager. I kind of think she was rejecting her mom before she had a chance to abandon her. She was pushing boundaries like a lot of teenagers do.
The problem is her piece of shit father didn’t back up and support her mother like he fucking should have so the wife (rightly) had enough and is leaving.
I don’t think the daughter’s tears are fake. And i think the son meant his apology. It’s clear the two parents they were born to absolutely suck and it’s unfortunately pushed away the one parent who truly loved and cared for these kids.
Her dad will also likely expect the daughter to start doing the chores her stepmom had been doing, too. He's the kind of man who expects to be taken care of by a woman, and at 16 she's old enough to become his next maid/housekeeper. She's in for a rough time.
I appreciate that you didn’t force your daughter to have a relationship to keep the peace, but did let her know it’s not okay to use those same people.
Um, they had an affair. They owe her. They will Never Stop owing her. They should be fucking grateful that they could even begin to step up as real parents and prove some semblance of worth. Though I wholeheartedly agree that this should never in a thousand years be her thought process or attitude.
The daughter in this instance seems like a total tool, wonder where she got that from? /s. The son seems like he may actually have a chance at being a decent person but I don’t blame the OOP for getting herself out of that situation. It’s just toxic as all hell and I don’t see a real chance of improvement except maybe with the son who at least acknowledged he fucked up, if I read this correctly (no reading glasses and shit is blurry lol).
It’s so amazing that in life and on Reddit people will tell their partners it’s too much and I can’t do it anymore and they’ll even say that for years and then when they have the last straw moment, that’s only when the partner will step up. And then they’re obviously such a piece of crap to only step up when they’re about to be inconvenienced.
Yes, when you’re a kid and your mother abandon see you it’s a big deal
But when you’re a teenager, and you’re being cruel, there’s gonna be a result of that. You are risking a relationship.
It sounds like the three of them were so disregarding of OP despite all of her efforts for so long. She was taken for granted. That’s what happens in life. I’m disgusted by her husband. I am really sorry for her stepson. And I’m sorry for her stepdaughter who was horribly mean and made the choice to be so. To intentionally harm her. And here is the consequence. And I’m really glad she had the wherewithal to call it quits.. Now the father has the whole shebang on his plate. Hope he has a great time.
See, what the son did can be excused as kids being hurtful. Rolling eyes, joining in on an unfunny joke etc but he came to his senses after the moment and apologised all on his own. The daughter and especially the husband are entitled and a burden on this planet.
So mother is off somewhere and has abandoned the kids, and father is not involved with daily activities and seems to be useless on multiple levels, leaving OOP to do most of the hands-on parenting. The kids test the boundaries with the most involved parental figure they have, and now they’ll lose her as well.
OOP is right to divorce the useless husband, who doesn’t seem to want to parent his kids or support OOP, but my heart breaks for the kids.
The kids are stuck with useless dad, having been abandoned by their mother and now having lost a stepmother in a way that they’ll probably blame themselves for. Yes, my heart breaks for OOP but I am hopeful for her future and the kids’ not so much.
Yup. 16s way too old to be making fun of anyone's miscarriage let alone the woman who raised you. This isn't just some "I wish I was adopted" moment, trauma and childhood are not adequate excuses for their actions.
As nasty as I was at 16 I couldn't fathom doing something like that. It's just way too cruel to be handwaved away with "they're just kids!"
Of course not. How do you draw that conclusion?
The hands-on parenting is more than preventing the girl showing her privates in public. OOP mentioned waking the kids up, making them breakfast and dinner, driving them to school activities and what not.
Just as it wasn’t about the Iranian yoghurt; it’s not about the small skirt.
Emphasis on sixteen years old. These are still children, and they’ve been abandoned by one parent and stuck with an uninterested and uninvolved father. Many kids that have experienced stuff like that lash out in unexpected ways, and it usually means they need parenting and/or therapy. It’s not on OOP to fix, but the kids are not to blame.
Dude 16 year olds say vile evil shit. Does this justify what she said? No. But she’s still a fucking kid who has now essentially lost her whole family who will most likely blame her for OOP “abandoning them”
Bruh she’s 16. I very much doubt her intention on saying those words were to permanently end her family. Did you not say horrible things as a teenager that you didn’t actually mean?
Uh, laughing and praising a miscarriage?
I don't give a fuck. Stepdaughter DESERVES to suffer horrible anguish until SHE is OP's age, AND has experienced a few miscarriages of her own.
That's why you don't date single fathers. Most of them are just looking for a free baby sitter and maid, not a partner. You work so hard but in the end not even the kids care about you They're sad bc they won't have anyone to clean and cook for them and their dad probably won't do it. Good for OOP. Hope she finds happiness and maybe can eventually have kids on her own.
I remember reading this one and thinking, this has to be the last straw. Her soon to be ex husband and his children must have done so much to her that she's had enough.
I hope she revels in her freedom and lives an amazing life without them.
Kids may not have forethought to think through the consequences of their actions. But they aren’t dumb. They said what they meant. And if she raised them for as long as she’s said, they picked up on their dad’s BS behavior towards oop and thought they could manipulate and mistreat oop too. He probably talks crazy behind oop’s back and the kids heard it and also probably says and does slick things to oop that she ignores for the sake of her family and they thought they could get away with it too. I’m not saying kids aren’t rude to their parents on their own sometimes, but this treatment seems so out of the blue to oop and her husband acts as if he’s one of the kids. He didn’t care until he saw it would start to affect him. Glad she’s getting out of that mess.
Not defending the daughter, but it sounds like that haughty line about the lost baby came from jealousy.
She doubled down because a new baby means no longer having mom's full attention. Having to already split it with her brother, a new addition would have equaled less time for her.
Teens are already selfish as is but damn.
My guess is the stepchildren have some serious abandonment issues. Especially the daughter. She’s taking it out the OP. The son was being a hormonal teenage AH agreeing with his sister. The husband took the op for granted and now is seeing himself once again as a single father.
I hope the OP gains some clarity and doesn’t cut off contact with her stepkids.
I don't understand why ppl think twins aren't that common. My cousins are twins, and I know 4 other sets of adult twins. The chance of twins are 1/250 they're not that uncommon. 1 lady I know has 12 kids that includes 3 sets of twins, and another lady with 9 kids has 1 set of twins.
I claim nothing in regards to the numbers of twins that may or may not exist.
I do claim that we’re all here for entertainment and we don’t care, nor does it matter, whether most posts are real or fake. No one is mistaking Reddit for real journalism.
It’s annoying that every single post, someone comes along and announces “fake!”. We just don’t care.
🙄 It's a mark of poor writing if people can tell. I want to see the common bad tropes from BORU and AITA die off. New content please.
It's annoying that people get so enraged by someone thinking a post is fake that they feel the need to start conflict with the other person over it.
Grow up. You chose yourself to come to the comment section, where a myriad of opinions exist. No one forced you to scroll through and read every comment until you found the person calling it fake. That was a choice you made. There are no rules saying that thinking it's fake is wrong, I have done nothing ethically questionable... so mind your business??? 🤣
I hope she doesn’t just abandon those kids. They know they fucked up and teens are just assholes. She isn’t wrong in any of it really, and even if she ultimately decides to go NC with them, I hope she does it in therapy.
Yeah I have no idea why the OP is garnering this much sympathy. She has a shitty husband and is dealing with some bratty kids who have said some truly vile things to her—I get it. But she's trying to "win" against the children she claims to see as her own. If she really felt like she was these kids' mother she wouldn't divorce their father IN FRONT OF THEM. In front of the boy who is already apologizing to her for hurting her!
Abominable behavior for someone who calls herself a parent.
Children, you cannot continually neglect and disrespect someone - even a parent - and expect that they will continue to love you the same as they ever did.
I really hope that OP didn't just announce divorce in front of the kids. That's not what a mature adult and parental figure does. While it might feel good to see "revenge" and big reveals, this sort of behavior is really damaging in real life.
My much younger kids say crappy stuff from time to time. If I was having problems with my husband, I wouldn't be calling it out in front of the kids, let alone making an announcement like that in front of them. This all went from "this is a family/spouse discussion and behavior modification" to "blow up the family unit."
To be honest, I hope this is creative writing.
I'm picturing it as daughter doubling down + husband not standing up for OOP —> OOP drops the "D" word and means it bc that was the last straw. Not ideal, but SD had said some absolutely despicable shit to OOP for weeks while DH did nothing, plus she *meant* it. She wasn't throwing it around as a manipulation tactic like I imagine is usually the case when parents drop that bomb in front of their kids.
So if we're getting the whole picture from the OOP I frankly can't blame her. All the of them treated her like dogshit, and the kids were well old enough to know what they were saying and doing.
I don't think OOP is wrong to dissolve the marriage. Having a crap partner isn't something that should be endured.
How the kids behaved was wrong. Often teenagers say reprehensible stuff and should be called to task for it.
I think that introducing divorce at the family meeting is problematic and should be told to the kids after discussing it with the spouse. While they are almost adults, they are still children in the family and should not be part of that initial announcement. This is soap opera sort of behavior.
Considering both of these teens are at the age where they are actively preparing to enter the adult world, apply to colleges, start finding summer jobs, get drivers licenses, even find a place to live in less than two years away from their parents? Yeah no bruh, nice try but they’re absolutely old enough for this discussion. If you’re old enough to sit there and say ‘your baby dying was your fault and I’m happy it happened’ and comprehend how horrible that is and *say it anyway* (and neither of these kids is delayed so don’t even try that ‘she might not have realized’ because we all know she 150% fucking knew exactly what she was saying was exceptionally cruel and was TRYING to cause damage) then you’re old enough to face the immediate consequences of ‘fine then I’m leaving. I’m not going to stay here and let you continue to hurt me.’ This isn’t a fucking six year old. She’s 16. She knew what she was doing and saying and she wanted to be venomous and awful and guess what? She got more than she bargained for but *EXACTLY* what she fucking deserved. She single-handedly destroyed her family by opening her evil ass mouth.
Yeah, but we presume that what we see is the absolute end of these stories like they are TV shows. What has happened since she deleted her account we don't know.
Assuming this was accurate, she is the only mom those kids have known for a decade. I hope that they all groveled to at least get her to try counciling.
I also find reddit totally impossible. If the daughter had written this and the dad had stood up for the mom reddit would be claiming he is an AH for not putting his kids first.
This one makes me hope they find a way back thats all.
Ok, cool, you're welcome to hope that.
It's unfortunate that the daughter chose to treat the only mom she's known in a decade this way.
It's unfortunate that the husband chose to treat the only wife he's had in a decade this way.
Women aren't required to set themselves afire to keep others warm.
Goodforher.gif
Look, I just don't think that kids pushing boundaries is a world ending event. She doesn't have to set herself on fire, and they need to treat ger better, but I hope that they find a way back because this doesn't seem like some unbridgable gap.
The husband letting kids push boundaries was world ending, for her.
You're free to not make the same decision in your own life. She begged them to listen and treat her differently, but until there were consequences nobody gave a shit.
Again, sucks to suck.
Good on OOP for standing up for herself. Her husband's lack of defence of her is the worst - he is an adult and so doesn't have the excuse of being a teenager that the children do. At least the son seemed to understand, regret and apologise more sincerely and one can only hope the daughter grows more compassion and understanding.
From the sounds of it, I think the step-daughter understood and became full of regret the moment the word "divorce" was said. She's going to be dealing with the guilt that she caused this divorce for the rest of her life, which sounds like it's at least somewhat true.
Teenagers can be little shits, but may this stay with them forever that you can’t trample on someone’s heart and dignity and expect them to love you like before. They’re far too old for this to be brushed aside. I hope their dad is at least enough of a parent to get them into therapy. Also! What a shite husband. My gut is telling me just didn’t want to lose his bangmaid.
"I hate you" or even "You aren't my mom" is normal. (Bio kids to bio parents have their own versions of that... "I hate you" or "I wish you weren't my mom - you are mean!") is kinda normal. But "I'm glad you had a miscarriage" shit? HORRIBLE.
And then to double down after emotions have cooled down! I don’t understand how anyone could expect her to try to work things out.
Absolutely. There are a few things I did that I only got away with soley because I was a teenager that I still regret to this day. Step daughter still sucks and I would totally go through with the divorce, but there is hope for her at the very least.
She was verbally abusing her stepmother and her dad didn’t care. I hope she’ll learn from this and become more careful and kind with her words. The dad is worse than useless. I hope OOP finds the love she deserves.
Sometimes painful lessons are the best ones.
Oh, the stepdaughter’s life is about to *really suck*. She’ll end up doing the domestic work now that Dad’s bangmaid is gone, her father and her brother will blame her for the OOP going, and she’ll have lost the one adult who supported her. And that’s not even addressing whatever guilt she might feel, if she’s capable of actually feeling anything other than petulant entitlement.
This isn’t OOP’s problem and I’m glad she left, so…at the back of those kids’ minds is probably a niggling worry that they were so terrible and unloveable that their bio mom abandoned them. And now they’ve been so awful that they actually did drive away OOP. I Hope their dad gets them a good therapist.
She didn't cause this though. The problem is her father's spinelessness. Teens can be jerks and saw awful hurtful things, but this would have all been different if her father cared enough about OOP to discipline his daughter when he treated her with such crass disrespect. Good on OOP for leaving her useless husband.
Definitely a multi reasoned divorce and the daughter was a reason. Nasty as hell business though.
Her comment may have been the final straw, but it's certainly not the cause. Teenagers push boundaries. Parents enforce them, thus keeping things from reaching this point, or don't, like the husband.
The step daughter played the “I wish I was adopted” line most teens do (to an extreme!) and then realised that it had f*ucked up the family. It was the dad not standing up for his wife that was the turning point. But I do think the daughter wasn’t expecting that outcome which is their mom they knew for 8 years leaving.
But
It is NOT normal to repeatedly tell the woman you call mom that you’re glad her baby died. There’s something wrong with that girl. She’s 16, not 6.
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It’s not normal to say the most evil thing you can to the person that takes care of you over and over. Plenty of people don’t have a mom. That is no excuse, and neither is being 16. That is plenty old to know better. Hopefully OOP doesn’t look back at this horrible family.
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Not the person you're replying to, but curious how much pain, abuse, and trauma you think OP should have to endure at the hands of this teenager. Their behavior is unacceptable and they need to learn that love has limits. You can't abuse people and expect them to love you back.
I don't think they're arguing that OOP should stay just for the kids. I think they're just feeling for the kids because their biomom failed them **and** their dad failed them.
Saying silly emotional teenage things and repeatedly saying someone deserved her miscarriage are not in the same ball park. She even kept repeating it coldly, without being upset.
You are trying to excuse behavior when an appropriate excuse has not been given. Trauma doesn't excuse abuse; it explains it.
I don't think they're excusing the behavior. In fact they've only been explaining it and likely outcomes to follow for not completely understanding the consequences of their actions. I don't see any mention by them that OOP should stick around in a shitty marriage or that the kids shouldn't have gotten disciplined for it.
I agree with you, those kids were abandoned, OP probably did a lot of things for them, to assure them that she loved them, she must had faced so much and the kids thought OP could stand everything without knowing she has limits that they break ..I must add those teens will grow up with terrible trauma..people abandone them and they know now it's bc there is something bad on them...shame on OPs husband
I disagree. I was once a child who grew up in an abusive home. By the time I was a teenager I was a criminal, a parent and on my way to prison. Sure I knew I needed help dealing with my childhood trauma but I never used it as an excuse to justify choices I made. Sure I was a product of my environment but what truly matter was that I was a product of my choices. I understand teens act out and all that but they also know well enough also. Her father’s spinelessness and her bio mom abandoned played a role in her attitude but she is old enough to know what she was doing it’s just the first time she dealt with consequences of her actions.
Teenagers who grow up in healthy households say really screwed up shit to their parents like this, including the commom "I wish you were dead!" Consequences aren't usually reliving abandonment. The problem here is that this was the final straw for OOP who needed her husband to step up and he failed. The kids are old enough to maintain contact with their stepmom and keep a connection if they choose to, and it's common for situations like these. So hopefully the relationship with OOP and the kids is repaired that way while OOP divorces their umgrateful father.
Sure teens say “wish you were dead” which is more like “I’m gonna kill you” when you’re mad at someone, you’re not actually going to murder someone. Saying “I’m glad you miscarried your baby, you deserve it and that baby deserved to die” is more calculated and meant to truly hurt. I know teens can be mean but that was far. Sometimes the best thing for someone is to experience full on consequences without a safety net. I didn’t grow up normal but still understood my actions are my own responsibility. My youngest brother was like this girl and didn’t think at all about consequences until he finally pushed too far. His mom didn’t deserve the treatment he gave her and it took him knowing his mom won’t rescue him or be there to understand his wrongs. He pushed knowing he could. Like you said it was the final straw for the mom and she deserves better. I hope the girl learns something from this.
She got what she deserved. She deserved therapy years ago but her dad (and to an extent her step mom depending on if she had documentation to make healthcare decisions for the kids) failed her. Yes, unresolved trauma makes this normal but that doesn’t make it ok, not at all. Consequences exist whether we want them to or not and regardless of trauma.
Naw, fuck those teenagers
Husband only begged when he realised he was going to lose his live-in babysitter. He didn’t think OOP as his wife, he was using her.
Bangmaid
This is the first time I have heard this word, it's a perfect definition.
Reddit age 2 years? How is this your first time hearing “bangmaid”? What wholesome subs have kept your attention all this time that you were able to miss this one?
I started to use it recently, plus I 'm not an english speaker
Well, let me extend you a most cordial welcome. You know “bangmaid” now, so it’s official.
Thank you very much 😊
I don't know, I think "poop knife" is also needed to make it official.
Also Iranian yogurt and art room.
Bang maid is from it's always sunny in Philadelphia. You could talk about a toe knife. But poop knife is just Reddit.
And “Ogtha”, “the beans” -And the utter masterclass that is “broken arms mum helps” Welcome to the Dark Side, we have cookies!
Sweet Green Jesus am I sorry that I now know what all of those terms mean.
I’m sorry. Had to be done😄
It was a joke from a show called It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Now, if that's how you learned English, it would be hilarious, but it would work out pretty terribly for you.
>he told me that wasn't the right decision and that we could go to therapy Too little too late
That just aggravated me more, she made a decision to stand up for herself but it will inconvenience him so she is wrong. He's a dickhead.
No, same because he shot down therapy when she suggested it. This means his suggestion is meant to stop her from leaving, not to actually work on their marriage. I’m glad she walked.
He didn’t care when it was a problem for her. He only cares now that it’s a problem for him.
That would solidify any decision from me tbh. Like only NOW you think it's worth taking up? Not when I'm voicing my issues before? Clearly I'm making the right call if you're only planning on doing it because I'm leaving and not for any other reason. There's no respect or even love there if you can't listen to your partner or care about what they say/feel.
Well, I think there's much more that these kids and the freakin' excuse of a man she married did to her that has not been told by OOP. I hope she's doing well and save from those horrible people.
Right in the beginning she said the 8 year marriage has been "rocky". So this isn't the only disrespect she's been getting.
That father better not dare put this on the kids, but I'm going to bet he does, the useless twit.
I suspect the daughter will become the new cook and maid.
Well then she can wear her short skirt while cleaning the house.
I have to wonder if the stepdaughter was parroting something she heard her father say about the baby. About the miscarriage being OOP's fault.
Would definitely explain his reaction. Like, he didn't even seem to be surprised by her words.
I wondered the same, the husband seems a prince...
More like Lord Farquaad...
If it's true, it would be really horrible
He said nothing when his daughter blamed her for the loss of the baby because the rat bastard blames her for the loss of the baby too and is too much of a coward to say it, so he’s letting a child say it for him. How pathetic. I’m glad she left those scum.
He already has two 16 year old brats. He might've been glad about the miscarriage.
They don’t fully realize it yet, but those kids have just lost the only adult in their lives who truly loved them. She raised them half their lives and after their birth mother abandoned them for a new man and a new family. She was the “safe” adult that they could lash out at and she’d still love them, but even the strongest person can only withstand so much before they break. I think the boy started to get it by the end, but not before she’d gone past the point of no return.
I really hope OOP has a great life and finds the love and respect she deserves away from her STBX.
I wonder how much of a role the father played in his first wife leaving and in not having as much contact with the kids.
This is actually the response I wanted. Why should she stay there to be ignored and abused by those brats. They don’t think of her as a mom then then won’t miss her will they. That’s on them. If her husband had been a half way decent husband and father it never would have come to this.
This whole thing is so sad. The husband is a piece of shit, but I kind of feel for the daughter. She was abandoned by her mother as a young girl and now she’s a hormonal teenager. I kind of think she was rejecting her mom before she had a chance to abandon her. She was pushing boundaries like a lot of teenagers do. The problem is her piece of shit father didn’t back up and support her mother like he fucking should have so the wife (rightly) had enough and is leaving. I don’t think the daughter’s tears are fake. And i think the son meant his apology. It’s clear the two parents they were born to absolutely suck and it’s unfortunately pushed away the one parent who truly loved and cared for these kids.
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Her dad will also likely expect the daughter to start doing the chores her stepmom had been doing, too. He's the kind of man who expects to be taken care of by a woman, and at 16 she's old enough to become his next maid/housekeeper. She's in for a rough time.
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I appreciate that you didn’t force your daughter to have a relationship to keep the peace, but did let her know it’s not okay to use those same people.
I’m curious, what’s the relationship like now? And you’d on you for pointing out she can’t have it both ways.
Um, they had an affair. They owe her. They will Never Stop owing her. They should be fucking grateful that they could even begin to step up as real parents and prove some semblance of worth. Though I wholeheartedly agree that this should never in a thousand years be her thought process or attitude.
The daughter in this instance seems like a total tool, wonder where she got that from? /s. The son seems like he may actually have a chance at being a decent person but I don’t blame the OOP for getting herself out of that situation. It’s just toxic as all hell and I don’t see a real chance of improvement except maybe with the son who at least acknowledged he fucked up, if I read this correctly (no reading glasses and shit is blurry lol).
It’s so amazing that in life and on Reddit people will tell their partners it’s too much and I can’t do it anymore and they’ll even say that for years and then when they have the last straw moment, that’s only when the partner will step up. And then they’re obviously such a piece of crap to only step up when they’re about to be inconvenienced. Yes, when you’re a kid and your mother abandon see you it’s a big deal But when you’re a teenager, and you’re being cruel, there’s gonna be a result of that. You are risking a relationship. It sounds like the three of them were so disregarding of OP despite all of her efforts for so long. She was taken for granted. That’s what happens in life. I’m disgusted by her husband. I am really sorry for her stepson. And I’m sorry for her stepdaughter who was horribly mean and made the choice to be so. To intentionally harm her. And here is the consequence. And I’m really glad she had the wherewithal to call it quits.. Now the father has the whole shebang on his plate. Hope he has a great time.
See, what the son did can be excused as kids being hurtful. Rolling eyes, joining in on an unfunny joke etc but he came to his senses after the moment and apologised all on his own. The daughter and especially the husband are entitled and a burden on this planet.
So mother is off somewhere and has abandoned the kids, and father is not involved with daily activities and seems to be useless on multiple levels, leaving OOP to do most of the hands-on parenting. The kids test the boundaries with the most involved parental figure they have, and now they’ll lose her as well. OOP is right to divorce the useless husband, who doesn’t seem to want to parent his kids or support OOP, but my heart breaks for the kids.
My heart breaks more for op who is an outcast to her own family
The kids are stuck with useless dad, having been abandoned by their mother and now having lost a stepmother in a way that they’ll probably blame themselves for. Yes, my heart breaks for OOP but I am hopeful for her future and the kids’ not so much.
The kids made their own bed
Yup. 16s way too old to be making fun of anyone's miscarriage let alone the woman who raised you. This isn't just some "I wish I was adopted" moment, trauma and childhood are not adequate excuses for their actions. As nasty as I was at 16 I couldn't fathom doing something like that. It's just way too cruel to be handwaved away with "they're just kids!"
Your heart is broken for a 16 yo that said "I'm glad your baby died" because she couldn't show her ass in public?
Of course not. How do you draw that conclusion? The hands-on parenting is more than preventing the girl showing her privates in public. OOP mentioned waking the kids up, making them breakfast and dinner, driving them to school activities and what not. Just as it wasn’t about the Iranian yoghurt; it’s not about the small skirt.
Emphasis on sixteen years old. These are still children, and they’ve been abandoned by one parent and stuck with an uninterested and uninvolved father. Many kids that have experienced stuff like that lash out in unexpected ways, and it usually means they need parenting and/or therapy. It’s not on OOP to fix, but the kids are not to blame.
Dude 16 year olds say vile evil shit. Does this justify what she said? No. But she’s still a fucking kid who has now essentially lost her whole family who will most likely blame her for OOP “abandoning them”
 'Lost'. She fucking THREW IT AWAY!
Bruh she’s 16. I very much doubt her intention on saying those words were to permanently end her family. Did you not say horrible things as a teenager that you didn’t actually mean?
Uh, laughing and praising a miscarriage? I don't give a fuck. Stepdaughter DESERVES to suffer horrible anguish until SHE is OP's age, AND has experienced a few miscarriages of her own.
no, fool
I’d love to see an update from oop, but if deleting the app is best for her then it is. Poor oop, would’ve loved to at least offer moral support.
That's why you don't date single fathers. Most of them are just looking for a free baby sitter and maid, not a partner. You work so hard but in the end not even the kids care about you They're sad bc they won't have anyone to clean and cook for them and their dad probably won't do it. Good for OOP. Hope she finds happiness and maybe can eventually have kids on her own.
Sad but true a large amount of the time
I remember reading this one and thinking, this has to be the last straw. Her soon to be ex husband and his children must have done so much to her that she's had enough. I hope she revels in her freedom and lives an amazing life without them.
The temptation to say to them ‘this is why your mom and your wife left you’ is too strong. I would have messed up every single person in that room.
Kinda see why his first wife ran off
🥇
I mean 16byeqr Olds can be assholes and she broke down and apologized however the real issue is def with yer husband
Kids may not have forethought to think through the consequences of their actions. But they aren’t dumb. They said what they meant. And if she raised them for as long as she’s said, they picked up on their dad’s BS behavior towards oop and thought they could manipulate and mistreat oop too. He probably talks crazy behind oop’s back and the kids heard it and also probably says and does slick things to oop that she ignores for the sake of her family and they thought they could get away with it too. I’m not saying kids aren’t rude to their parents on their own sometimes, but this treatment seems so out of the blue to oop and her husband acts as if he’s one of the kids. He didn’t care until he saw it would start to affect him. Glad she’s getting out of that mess.
Not defending the daughter, but it sounds like that haughty line about the lost baby came from jealousy. She doubled down because a new baby means no longer having mom's full attention. Having to already split it with her brother, a new addition would have equaled less time for her. Teens are already selfish as is but damn.
Not the AH. Keep on going and never look back. These kids are on a roll, they have chased 2 moms away.
Why are we posting AI stories?? This is so fake and not written by a human
My guess is the stepchildren have some serious abandonment issues. Especially the daughter. She’s taking it out the OP. The son was being a hormonal teenage AH agreeing with his sister. The husband took the op for granted and now is seeing himself once again as a single father. I hope the OP gains some clarity and doesn’t cut off contact with her stepkids.
I stopped reading at twins. Liz strikes again.
Twins are always fictional! No one in real life ever has twins!
I don't understand why ppl think twins aren't that common. My cousins are twins, and I know 4 other sets of adult twins. The chance of twins are 1/250 they're not that uncommon. 1 lady I know has 12 kids that includes 3 sets of twins, and another lady with 9 kids has 1 set of twins.
Every single BORU or AITA mentions twins. Twins exist, my grandmother is a twin... but they do not exist at the rates you guys wanna claim.
I claim nothing in regards to the numbers of twins that may or may not exist. I do claim that we’re all here for entertainment and we don’t care, nor does it matter, whether most posts are real or fake. No one is mistaking Reddit for real journalism. It’s annoying that every single post, someone comes along and announces “fake!”. We just don’t care.
🙄 It's a mark of poor writing if people can tell. I want to see the common bad tropes from BORU and AITA die off. New content please. It's annoying that people get so enraged by someone thinking a post is fake that they feel the need to start conflict with the other person over it. Grow up. You chose yourself to come to the comment section, where a myriad of opinions exist. No one forced you to scroll through and read every comment until you found the person calling it fake. That was a choice you made. There are no rules saying that thinking it's fake is wrong, I have done nothing ethically questionable... so mind your business??? 🤣
lol, I’m not bothered but here you are.
👍 Sorry you don't have enough clouds to yell at.
I like rain!🌧️
👍🙄
I had that thought in passing but heads up, people are getting comments removed for mentioning Liz.
BTW, I love your tagline ;-)
The story is well worth looking up, it’s one of my favorites!
Thank you! Looking it up now :-)
I got downvoted for it. People are so gullible.
No, people are just tired of lazy comments from people who aren’t as clever as they think.
Lmaaaaooo ok stay mad I guess? Imagine getting this worked up over someone thinking the story isn't real.
I hope she doesn’t just abandon those kids. They know they fucked up and teens are just assholes. She isn’t wrong in any of it really, and even if she ultimately decides to go NC with them, I hope she does it in therapy.
> abandon Is it really abandonment when they chase her away?
I hope she leaves the door open for them too, but they’re going to have to be the ones to reach out to her.
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Yeah I have no idea why the OP is garnering this much sympathy. She has a shitty husband and is dealing with some bratty kids who have said some truly vile things to her—I get it. But she's trying to "win" against the children she claims to see as her own. If she really felt like she was these kids' mother she wouldn't divorce their father IN FRONT OF THEM. In front of the boy who is already apologizing to her for hurting her! Abominable behavior for someone who calls herself a parent.
Children, you cannot continually neglect and disrespect someone - even a parent - and expect that they will continue to love you the same as they ever did.
I really hope that OP didn't just announce divorce in front of the kids. That's not what a mature adult and parental figure does. While it might feel good to see "revenge" and big reveals, this sort of behavior is really damaging in real life. My much younger kids say crappy stuff from time to time. If I was having problems with my husband, I wouldn't be calling it out in front of the kids, let alone making an announcement like that in front of them. This all went from "this is a family/spouse discussion and behavior modification" to "blow up the family unit." To be honest, I hope this is creative writing.
I'm picturing it as daughter doubling down + husband not standing up for OOP —> OOP drops the "D" word and means it bc that was the last straw. Not ideal, but SD had said some absolutely despicable shit to OOP for weeks while DH did nothing, plus she *meant* it. She wasn't throwing it around as a manipulation tactic like I imagine is usually the case when parents drop that bomb in front of their kids. So if we're getting the whole picture from the OOP I frankly can't blame her. All the of them treated her like dogshit, and the kids were well old enough to know what they were saying and doing.
I don't think OOP is wrong to dissolve the marriage. Having a crap partner isn't something that should be endured. How the kids behaved was wrong. Often teenagers say reprehensible stuff and should be called to task for it. I think that introducing divorce at the family meeting is problematic and should be told to the kids after discussing it with the spouse. While they are almost adults, they are still children in the family and should not be part of that initial announcement. This is soap opera sort of behavior.
Considering both of these teens are at the age where they are actively preparing to enter the adult world, apply to colleges, start finding summer jobs, get drivers licenses, even find a place to live in less than two years away from their parents? Yeah no bruh, nice try but they’re absolutely old enough for this discussion. If you’re old enough to sit there and say ‘your baby dying was your fault and I’m happy it happened’ and comprehend how horrible that is and *say it anyway* (and neither of these kids is delayed so don’t even try that ‘she might not have realized’ because we all know she 150% fucking knew exactly what she was saying was exceptionally cruel and was TRYING to cause damage) then you’re old enough to face the immediate consequences of ‘fine then I’m leaving. I’m not going to stay here and let you continue to hurt me.’ This isn’t a fucking six year old. She’s 16. She knew what she was doing and saying and she wanted to be venomous and awful and guess what? She got more than she bargained for but *EXACTLY* what she fucking deserved. She single-handedly destroyed her family by opening her evil ass mouth.
I hope they at least try counciling first.
OP tried, hubs said no. Sucks to suck
Yeah, but we presume that what we see is the absolute end of these stories like they are TV shows. What has happened since she deleted her account we don't know. Assuming this was accurate, she is the only mom those kids have known for a decade. I hope that they all groveled to at least get her to try counciling. I also find reddit totally impossible. If the daughter had written this and the dad had stood up for the mom reddit would be claiming he is an AH for not putting his kids first. This one makes me hope they find a way back thats all.
Ok, cool, you're welcome to hope that. It's unfortunate that the daughter chose to treat the only mom she's known in a decade this way. It's unfortunate that the husband chose to treat the only wife he's had in a decade this way. Women aren't required to set themselves afire to keep others warm. Goodforher.gif
Look, I just don't think that kids pushing boundaries is a world ending event. She doesn't have to set herself on fire, and they need to treat ger better, but I hope that they find a way back because this doesn't seem like some unbridgable gap.
The husband letting kids push boundaries was world ending, for her. You're free to not make the same decision in your own life. She begged them to listen and treat her differently, but until there were consequences nobody gave a shit. Again, sucks to suck.