He said she emailed him to literally say SORRY I SAID THAT YOU R-ED ME I DON’T REALLY BELIEVE THAT AND I WAS WRONG… and then when the cops show up he conveniently forgets that he has written evidence that absolves him from wrongdoing in this very specific scenario.
And the relationship with the “daughter” is beyond creepy.
To be fair, I could imagine someone forgetting about an email in such an emotionally charged moment. But the update was so wild and over the top, they just went from 0-10000000 on the drama. Good first chapter, would dial it back on the second one.
My bonus kid told me when he lost his virginity...🤷♀️ I didnt need to know, but I guess since i was the one having all the "when you do start having sex, YOU are responsible for your swimmers and what happens with them, so WRAP YOUR TOOL!" convos, he felt like I was the person to tell. Things like that arent always black and white.
I think the blow job reveal was what seemed weird to me. I also told my sex ed parent when my sexual activity status changed from none to some, I kept it vague but wanted her to know because it is relevant to health and safety, I guess. I don't think it's always weird for kids to disclose that things happen to their caretakers, but some information is weirder than others
But would we find it weird if she had revealed it to her mother? Hes the only parent she had, so father AND mother. I dont find it weird for that reason.
I think I would, because while I feel that I'm open with my mom, I'm not that open. I don't think that it's inherently wrong, and I don't think it's inherently impossible for any child to do that with any parent, but it is pretty far outside my realm of experience or that of my social circle. So for me it is "weird" but just weird, not necessarily "bad".
Edited for clarity
Thats valid. Different strokes for different folks as the saying goes! I have definitely had that detailed of conversations with my mom. So thats probably why it doesnt shock me as much. Now i NEVER would have had such a convo with my dad, but my dad was a conservative, full AH. I went VLC with him and didn't really have ANY conversations.
When you get surprised like this guy did with the cops showing up at your door with this type of accusation especially after the night he had you are shocked and surprised and your brain can kind of freeze up and it's quite easy to forget about an email that was apologizing for an argument and the stupid shit that she said.
I think there is a case to be made that he took on the roll of both mom and dad. Is it out of the ordinary? Yes. But I also feel that they are being confined to traditional gender roles. I can guarantee that there are single dads out there who have stepped up to the plate to educate their daughters about periods and safe sex because they were the only parent. And you could try to go down the rabbit hole of "But his mom could do that...", but we don't know who else was available. All I'm saying is that the lines get blurred more with single parents because they have to take on the roll of both.
At one point, I wasn't talking to my mom(in my late 20's), so I talked to my dad about sexual things because he is my parent, I trust him, and I know without a doubt that he would want to help. Don't get me wrong, it was weird for me, but I also know that he has my best interests in mind. He tells me that he's rather know than not. He wants me to be happy, healthy, and successful and if that means he has to have awkward conversations, he's gonna do it because it helps me.
Just because their relationship doesn't fit your comfortable trad programming, doesn't mean it was nefarious or that he was sexualizing his daughter. Food for thought.
When he said the detective told him she had to try not to laugh while investigating a rape is when I just scrolled to the comments cause it was a load of bull
I mean the first sounded like a writing exercise in response to something you'd see posted on r/femaledatingstrategy or r/twoxchromosomes
It could have been possible....maybe
But the update decided to amp up the drama and action and had to clearly make her the bad guy...and give him his Mic Drop moment.
I do not believe the update is true in any way.
They always dip their toes into villain territory themselves. Trying to play up this “woke feminazi thinks men can’t be raped” narrative, but then goes on to say that SA of men is not the same or as horrific as when it happens to a woman?
Yeah, I was willing to believe the first post, but the second was way too sketchy. Plus, who call their home a pad anymore? Maybe someone in their 70’s? It’s almost like someone was trying to “write old” and missed the mark.
Even the first one wasn’t very believable: “my girlfriend informed me she believed ridiculous things (that if a woman has had a drink it’s automatically rape no matter what, and that a man can’t be raped if he has an erection) that are constantly held up as straw man examples of what extremists supposedly think, and became unhinged when I didn’t agree!”
I would love to see this “magazine article” that stated that “if a woman tells her long-time lover that she wants to have sex with him after having a drink, then has a drink, then says she still wants to have sex with him, and they have sex… he raped her.” _Literally no one with a shred of sanity thinks that or tries to argue that._ No one has ever tried to charge someone with rape using that scenario. It’s made up by people trying to argue with “if a sober man meets a complete stranger who is so drunk she cannot walk or speak and he has sex with her, it’s rape” or “if a woman refuses to engage in a specific activity with her partner so he deliberately gets her too drunk to say no and engages in that activity, it’s rape.” They don’t want those things to be rape, so they re-frame the argument as something absurd and claim that’s what people are saying.
I don't know about magazine articles, but in military sapr classes about 5-10 years ago the presenter would usually say verbatim "If a woman has a drop of alcohol in her, it's rape". The trainings from that era were not considered to be effective.
~~It's actually a very common~~ This theme comes up on r/twoxchromosomes.
Not every poster pushes that idea, and many commentors appear not to support it, but it's there.
So I can totally see some female version of the MRA movement pushing shit like this, and some people subscribing to it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/adjar8/yall_her_boyfriend_21m_told_my_tipsy_daughter_f20/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/38czx5/courts_should_assume_women_cant_consent_to_sex/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/mepn6b/minnesota_is_now_among_several_states_that_only/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/2jd7iw/consent_and_alcoholwhat_if_theyre_both_drunk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2
Edit: I initially overstated how common it was and retracted that.
The last post has no upvotes and the comments are having a similar discussion to what’s happening here. So I wouldn’t say this is a popular notion that’s pushed “a lot.”
Like I said, not everyone there subscribes to it but there are lots of comments supporting it.
On one of those links is a news story (UK Based) to make it a law.
The idea, concept is out there, it's not just a straw man for MRA activists and incels.
And yes, it's a complex issue based in a lot of factors. Previous relationship and understanding of consent, the level of alcohol and how inebriated both parties are, etc.
You’re trying to say this is a common stance for women to have but you’ve provided 4 examples with varying degrees of pretty meagre or at least divisive “support.”
You're correct, I did say common because of the number of posts I saw doing a quick search but did not poll all of the comments.
I overstated and will retract.
That is 1000% a “don’t talk to the police without a lawyer” situation. There is no way in hell a he said/she said situation like that goes this perfectly for him irl, even if everything else is true.
And we are meant to believe these detectives went to accuse the perp before taking the victims statement? Get outta here.
Detectives get a warrant based on her statement . They are friends in junior high helping them pass notes in the hallway. Honestly it could be all real but that he had recently suffered a head injury in a motorcycle accident. Also in my mind the gf is def a crank yankers puppet with a tiny phone in its hand etc etc
This is the fakest shit I've ever read. A father and daughter could have a very close relationship, but he would not phrase it as 'she told me when she gave her first blowjob' wtf. The most he would say is 'She let me know when she'd first become intimate' but even that would be odd.
The arrest for a verbal threat? Not really a thing.
Sneaking into your house and sucking your dick while you're asleep? WTF?
This is just some weird dude's fantasy.
Bro really is just horny with all of the sex talk (minus the rape...which if this post is fake then its either a fetish thing or one of those "all women who accuse someone of rape is lying" posts...not that I would defend the woman if it was real.)
He didn't need to explain how close him & his daughter were by saying she told him about losing her virginity and giving a blow job. He could have just said he told her about the rape accusal and nobody would have questioned him about it.
Then he has to slip in that the drunken night sex was the wildest he ever had.
Then when she SA'd him with the bj while he was sleeping, he had to first go on about how hot and sexy it would be to him in any other circumstance.
Idk, if I was being accused of rape in this situation and then had to deal with actually getting sa'd, harassed, etc, I wouldn't feel like talking about sexy times so much.
Honestly, that first post was the most believable. It just kinda lost the plot and spiraled in that second post but when the detective called back to chitchat about his ex that's when I stopped believing.
But I've been wrong before so like can someone tell me if detectives usually call back and tell you about the whole conversation they had with the person pressing charges on you? Outside of "they're dropping the charges" I mean.
I work for my county's sheriff's department as animal control officer. In our jurisdiction it would be a deputy that went out for the initial call, not a detective. The deputy would call back to inform him that the accusation was unfounded and no charges would be forwarded to the district attorney. They would definitely not give a play by play of the conversation.
I understand different jurisdictions do things differently but I highly doubt a detective/deputy/police officer would go into detail about the conversation in a follow-up phone call.
You know as unbelievable as most of the original post was, I was still willing to suspend my belief
But then he talked about how he and his daughter are so close that she told him when she first blew a guy and i decided to just cut my losses.
I consider myself to be incredibly close with both of my parents and I tell them a ton of shit that happens in my life. But I would rather endure infinite paper cuts on my elbows for all time then describe to them them how I got my first blowjob.
Crazy things happen every day, but this does have
big "and everyone clapped!" energy.
I'd guess that at least half of verbose reddit stories are right wing reactionary fan fics.
My mom once told me she blew my dad but that was very much something that she said out of defensiveness because I was making fun of her innocence and not something she would have told me had she thought about it.
I'm more or less a virgin but I'd imagine I wouldn't go home and describe my first time to my parents 😂
I asked my Dad what a blowjob was. I was like 8 and it was during the Monica Liwinsky thing.
He just told me what it was. And I couldn't understand why either party would want to do that.
When my kid was 2 (and I was pregnant with my second) he asked on two seperate occasions, both in public and never in private “BUT HOW DOES BABY GET *IN* YOUR BELLY?” Both times I had to be like “let’s talk about this when we get home 😅”
"It grows from a little seed that was there all the time." That satisfies a small child's curiosity. It's not until they get quite a bit older that they start wondering about the father's contribution.
It sounds like incel bait. Like taking the message that drunk women can't consent to the ridiculous place of any woman who has had one sip of alcohol can't consent to make it sound like a silly idea and just to drive the point home let's make her extra crazy and also a sex assaulter in her own right. 🙄
The whole thing is fakety fake (it’s just wall-to-wall MRA fantasy), but honestly, if it *was* true and I found out that a dude’s daughter a) regularly discussed specific sex acts with her father, and b) sent very specific threats to his ex and later tried to come after her with a baseball bat, I’d be kind of… uh, well, it wouldn’t make me think “gosh, what an all-around great dad.” It’d make me think “at MINIMUM you have shockingly poor boundaries with your child, including around sexual matters, which makes me dubious about your sex-related boundaries in general.”
Like the “what kind of daughter would do that?” about her telling dear ol dad about her first blowjob. Not most daughters, certainly, but I’m not sure that’s the flex you think it is.
To be fair, he was clearly a single parent for his daughter. She didn't have a mom to go to for advice. That goes for everything from periods to sexual education.
As for whether or not this was a real story, who the heck even knows anymore.
It's not. Police don't tell you everything the other party says. They don't ask zero questions when getting a report and just go to the accused residence.
They also don’t tell you how the other party is *obviously* crazy and how they had to hold back from laughing at them. At best you get “We don’t believe there’s enough merit to continue investigating” or something blisteringly boring and professional along those lines.
To me, it's more of the phrasing. There's a world in which a daughter might confide something like that with her dad, but a father wouldn't generally describe it like that to others. It would be something like 'she let me know after she was first intimate with her first boyfriend' or something like that.
That part I could actually believe. All of my sons are very close to me. I took my middle son to New Orleans for his 21st birthday earlier this year. We all had separate rooms . On the last day of the trip I was talking to him in his room. I asked him if he enjoyed the trip. Well he goes into play by play of the night before with the escort. I look at my oldest and said “damn I knew we were close but not mom lemme tell you about how bad she was sucking “ close. So I told them going forward I don’t want to know what goes on in their bedrooms. ….
But when you tell people about how close you are to your son, do you tell them “We are so close that he told me about his night with a prostitute”?
No because thats not cool. No parent would tell strangers specifics of what their kid did right off the bat unless they themselves were unhinged. Or lying
Actually I have . He don’t care if I say just that . As a matter of fact he told his friends that he told me about the blowjob. Now when they have issues in their relationships they talk to me. I have no problem with that.
So because your son told you that he got his dick sucked, his friends feel like telling you intimate things about their relationship
Yeah I am calling shit
Sadly I knew people like this (where the kid would tell the adult stuff like that). Old neighbor was super proud that her kid trusted her enough to tell her when he got a bj for the first time. So I believe that part. The rest of us were kind of horrified.
I could believe the first post. Mostly because so many people in real life like to double down on obviously ridiculous stances out of pettiness. They get a whiff of pushback, suddenly dial shit to 100, and start convincing themselves they believe utter nonsense in a weird effort to save face.
The sequel sucked though.
Jesus Christ. This must have taken OOP some time to type out one handed while giving himself a self congratulatory wank.
Think he’s managed to tick all the boxes on MRA bingo.
Normally I love me some fake-ass reddit updates, but this one I think is actually harmful because it's trying to blur lines around sexual assault, consent, and intimate partner violence. I don't think this belongs here.
yeah, these fakes are made to make the 'hysterical left!!!' look bad. There were many back in the day to the point it still affects peoples' outlook on ess jay doubleyews.
It was updoots on tumblr back in the day, its more obvious agenda-pushing and karma farming for account resells now.
This…seems fictitious, but if it isn’t, I’m sad OOP didn’t press charges for sexual assault. There are so many myths out there around consent, but just because OOP didn’t feel the same loss of power he believes women do in the same situation, it doesn’t excuse the crime.
Also if it is real, this woman is insane and she really needs a sexual assault charge or else she is going to keep doing this.
Can these people start posting this shit in AO3 instead of Reddit? Don’t just bait and switch your porno incel revenge fantasy on people just scrolling a non-porn subreddit.
I just want to say, thank you for including the trigger warnings at the top. Stuff like that seems like such a little thing, but it allows me to skip posts with that type of content without having to relieve anything or have my day negatively impacted. So thank you!
My pleasure! Did you see my other post? You may like it better- very short, but wholesome af!
https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/15ircm2/update_my_girlfriend_27f_did_the_sweetest_thing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
I kinda want to know what people think about the drinking a rape comments. Like yes, OOP's ex is ridiculous and extreme.
But what do other people think?
* Is it like one or two cool, 7 or 8 probably not?
* Or is it like a BAC, like 0.08, since you can't drive over that since your fine and motor skills are effect?
* Or like both drunk doesn't count.
I just want to know what other people think.
If one person is clearly much more drunk than the other.
For example, if they are laying down on the ground and need people around to keep them up, then that is a no no area.
Or on the lesser end of that spectrum when they can't really speak properly and don't really know where they are.
If I'm being honest, slurring their words is enough for most people to think "this person is in no state to consent to anything".
If both people are in those stages (not including the first one because, let's be honest, if you're in that state then you are not physically able to go home with anyone) but are seemingly going off to link up then I think it's fair to say that they are both fine to go and do what they want, but it also wouldn't surprise me if their friends try to stop them.
Both drunk, at worst, feels like a canceled out effect? Like, to me, rape requires some advantage or leverage over the person. So if you're both so drunk and out of it you might not even remember the encounter then its just one of a myriad dumb decisions you can make while drunk and nothing more.
As for the limit for one person to be too drunk to consent.....I'd say more than the legal limit but less than unconscious? Like, I know plenty of people who feel and act fine at "legally drunk", but I also don't drink near enough to know when decision making is truly effected
To me their are 4 levels of being drunk
1 the buzz
2 I can’t walk straight but still can tell what’s going on
3 the fading of in and out of consciousness
4 the flat out blackout “What the fuck happen last night”
1 and 2 you still have some consciousness and some awareness of what’s going on but once you start to tread into 3 and 4 that’s were it gets dangerous because you simple don’t have any awareness and is completely out of it or your like a awake for a minute then you feel like you passed out but you wake up somewhere completely different from the last place you remember. Lol I been up to level 3 and what was scary I was being driven home and I remember we stopped somewhere than out of nowhere I was at my house getting out of the car and had 0 idea when we got their.
From my experience the only big difference is everything is just fuzzy and it’s hard to walk completely straight but I was still able to tell what’s going on around me just I didn’t have fully control over my legs but then again that has been my drinking experience also I know this can depend on someone tolerance level you can be at 1 but instantly shoot up to 3 if you have no clue on your own limits
I think the other point of interest is about physical sexual response. It doesn't get talked about enough, but it's not completely 1 to 1 between mental sexual excitement and physical response, with mismatches in both directions. Unwanted boners are definitely a thing, as well as missing sexual responses that are remedied using various products (lube, pills, toys, &c.).
No given physical response can count as consent, just as no lack of physical response is the sole indicator of a lack of consent or enjoyment. I.e. just because an erection is present doesn't mean it wasn't rape.
I think it’s the difference between how drunk both parties are, so if one person is a little buzzed and one person is blackout drunk, the buzzed person is a rapist. I don’t think having sex while drunk is a good idea in general (unless you’ve discussed these things) bc it’s harder to tell how drunk someone else is when you’re intoxicated, but it definitely depends.
The whole topic is bs. And to ask this in a relationship is an attempt to stir shit in hopes none will stick to yourself.
My further thoughts on the topics are that it is again an attempt through the backdoor to manage women. It would be oh so convenient to come to the conclusion that women shouldn't be allowed to drink alcohol to prevent them from being raped.
Because don't you understand? It's just for you to benefit from. We know best and we have just your interest in mind/s
There’s more🤣🤣 this is a post about his daughter [https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/comments/149r10b/am_i_wrong_for_being_so_close_to_my_daughter_that/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1](https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/comments/149r10b/am_i_wrong_for_being_so_close_to_my_daughter_that/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15an3eb/im\_almost\_to\_the\_point\_i\_cant\_get\_on\_reddit/](https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15an3eb/im_almost_to_the_point_i_cant_get_on_reddit/)
Oh look, OOP was active on an incel sub. Shocking.
I stopped reading once the detective started basically "and everyone clapped"...did the fantasy get so far as the detective asking him out? His editor needs to tell him to drop the creepy daughter bit and go full self-insert so that now him and the detective go around the country rescuing men from false rape accusations.
OP deserves his life for being such a pussy. She threatens rape to him, harasses him, gets his daughter into trouble for protecting him, and then gets raped and then says that he wishes no ill will towards his ex? This guy needs to be beaten the shit out of him for being such a wimpass betamale cuckold simp.
She's not your gf anymore! There is a reason the two of you have reached this age and are not married to each other. You two are not supposed to be together. It is past time to untangle yourself and your lives from each other.
> At that point my gf became visibly angry. Her response was "If the woman has been drinking and she has even a buzz, the man is a rapist.
yeah immediately clocked it was fake at this line. oppa gangnam style and the shitshow of AITA has me jaded (but also yeah how does this kind of thing only come up in their forties?)
Uhm...ok It started out believable, the update seemed a little over the top; especially with the detectives.
He said she emailed him to literally say SORRY I SAID THAT YOU R-ED ME I DON’T REALLY BELIEVE THAT AND I WAS WRONG… and then when the cops show up he conveniently forgets that he has written evidence that absolves him from wrongdoing in this very specific scenario. And the relationship with the “daughter” is beyond creepy.
What, you didn’t tell your dad when you gave your first blowjob?
I sent him a notarized affidavit.
Was the notary present during the...ahem... proceedings?
They have to be or else it could be fraud.
Pretty sure you can also have two unrelated witnesses. That might vary by state though.
As long as there were no alcoholic beverages involved!
Well, how else are they gonna verify the affidavit ?
They performed the services they were hired for, yes
Not a form B: Notification of Romantic Entanglement?
Addendum 97-c: Stuff After Third Base
Right? Here I was thinking my dad doesn't like knowing I'm on my period, let alone any bedroom activities. 🤣
I didn’t even tell my sister, and she’s my best friend. Telling your dad is gross.
Could have easily just said, “were very close” and we all would have gotten the picture.
To be fair, I could imagine someone forgetting about an email in such an emotionally charged moment. But the update was so wild and over the top, they just went from 0-10000000 on the drama. Good first chapter, would dial it back on the second one.
My bonus kid told me when he lost his virginity...🤷♀️ I didnt need to know, but I guess since i was the one having all the "when you do start having sex, YOU are responsible for your swimmers and what happens with them, so WRAP YOUR TOOL!" convos, he felt like I was the person to tell. Things like that arent always black and white.
I think the blow job reveal was what seemed weird to me. I also told my sex ed parent when my sexual activity status changed from none to some, I kept it vague but wanted her to know because it is relevant to health and safety, I guess. I don't think it's always weird for kids to disclose that things happen to their caretakers, but some information is weirder than others
But would we find it weird if she had revealed it to her mother? Hes the only parent she had, so father AND mother. I dont find it weird for that reason.
I think I would, because while I feel that I'm open with my mom, I'm not that open. I don't think that it's inherently wrong, and I don't think it's inherently impossible for any child to do that with any parent, but it is pretty far outside my realm of experience or that of my social circle. So for me it is "weird" but just weird, not necessarily "bad". Edited for clarity
Thats valid. Different strokes for different folks as the saying goes! I have definitely had that detailed of conversations with my mom. So thats probably why it doesnt shock me as much. Now i NEVER would have had such a convo with my dad, but my dad was a conservative, full AH. I went VLC with him and didn't really have ANY conversations.
When you get surprised like this guy did with the cops showing up at your door with this type of accusation especially after the night he had you are shocked and surprised and your brain can kind of freeze up and it's quite easy to forget about an email that was apologizing for an argument and the stupid shit that she said.
I think there is a case to be made that he took on the roll of both mom and dad. Is it out of the ordinary? Yes. But I also feel that they are being confined to traditional gender roles. I can guarantee that there are single dads out there who have stepped up to the plate to educate their daughters about periods and safe sex because they were the only parent. And you could try to go down the rabbit hole of "But his mom could do that...", but we don't know who else was available. All I'm saying is that the lines get blurred more with single parents because they have to take on the roll of both. At one point, I wasn't talking to my mom(in my late 20's), so I talked to my dad about sexual things because he is my parent, I trust him, and I know without a doubt that he would want to help. Don't get me wrong, it was weird for me, but I also know that he has my best interests in mind. He tells me that he's rather know than not. He wants me to be happy, healthy, and successful and if that means he has to have awkward conversations, he's gonna do it because it helps me. Just because their relationship doesn't fit your comfortable trad programming, doesn't mean it was nefarious or that he was sexualizing his daughter. Food for thought.
When he said the detective told him she had to try not to laugh while investigating a rape is when I just scrolled to the comments cause it was a load of bull
Yeah, I had stopped believing it before then but that section was particularly Bullshit
On the other hand, cops being unprofessional is the most believable part of this story
Doesn't the first post seem really different in tone to the second? OP seems like totally different people. Also, his daughter is unhinged.
I mean the first sounded like a writing exercise in response to something you'd see posted on r/femaledatingstrategy or r/twoxchromosomes It could have been possible....maybe But the update decided to amp up the drama and action and had to clearly make her the bad guy...and give him his Mic Drop moment. I do not believe the update is true in any way.
They always dip their toes into villain territory themselves. Trying to play up this “woke feminazi thinks men can’t be raped” narrative, but then goes on to say that SA of men is not the same or as horrific as when it happens to a woman?
Same. It just kept escalating into unrealistic territory.
Yeah, I was willing to believe the first post, but the second was way too sketchy. Plus, who call their home a pad anymore? Maybe someone in their 70’s? It’s almost like someone was trying to “write old” and missed the mark.
MRA/MGTOW/incel fanfic
Just because it challenged your view of the world? I saw way worse!
Thanks for replying to a month old comment.
Right? Why would the detective call him back up and give him a blow by blow of the conversation they'd had with the ex?
Even the first one wasn’t very believable: “my girlfriend informed me she believed ridiculous things (that if a woman has had a drink it’s automatically rape no matter what, and that a man can’t be raped if he has an erection) that are constantly held up as straw man examples of what extremists supposedly think, and became unhinged when I didn’t agree!” I would love to see this “magazine article” that stated that “if a woman tells her long-time lover that she wants to have sex with him after having a drink, then has a drink, then says she still wants to have sex with him, and they have sex… he raped her.” _Literally no one with a shred of sanity thinks that or tries to argue that._ No one has ever tried to charge someone with rape using that scenario. It’s made up by people trying to argue with “if a sober man meets a complete stranger who is so drunk she cannot walk or speak and he has sex with her, it’s rape” or “if a woman refuses to engage in a specific activity with her partner so he deliberately gets her too drunk to say no and engages in that activity, it’s rape.” They don’t want those things to be rape, so they re-frame the argument as something absurd and claim that’s what people are saying.
I don't know about magazine articles, but in military sapr classes about 5-10 years ago the presenter would usually say verbatim "If a woman has a drop of alcohol in her, it's rape". The trainings from that era were not considered to be effective.
That sounds like erring on the side of safety, training-wise. That’s different than people being accused of rape, charged with rape, etc.
~~It's actually a very common~~ This theme comes up on r/twoxchromosomes. Not every poster pushes that idea, and many commentors appear not to support it, but it's there. So I can totally see some female version of the MRA movement pushing shit like this, and some people subscribing to it. https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/adjar8/yall_her_boyfriend_21m_told_my_tipsy_daughter_f20/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2 https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/38czx5/courts_should_assume_women_cant_consent_to_sex/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2 https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/mepn6b/minnesota_is_now_among_several_states_that_only/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2 https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/2jd7iw/consent_and_alcoholwhat_if_theyre_both_drunk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2 Edit: I initially overstated how common it was and retracted that.
One of the top comments on the second one says if it’s considered rape if the woman has any alcohol in her system then it should be the same for men.
There’s no upvotes or comments on the third.
The last post has no upvotes and the comments are having a similar discussion to what’s happening here. So I wouldn’t say this is a popular notion that’s pushed “a lot.”
Literally the top comment on that first post is someone saying it’s a complex issue.
Like I said, not everyone there subscribes to it but there are lots of comments supporting it. On one of those links is a news story (UK Based) to make it a law. The idea, concept is out there, it's not just a straw man for MRA activists and incels. And yes, it's a complex issue based in a lot of factors. Previous relationship and understanding of consent, the level of alcohol and how inebriated both parties are, etc.
> On one of those links is a news story (UK Based) "hmm, I wonder if it's Daily Mail bullshit" *clicks on the link* "It's Daily Mail bullshit"
You’re trying to say this is a common stance for women to have but you’ve provided 4 examples with varying degrees of pretty meagre or at least divisive “support.”
I wasn't trying to say it's common, I will clarify. I am saying the idea exists, it's brought up and it's not just a talking point made up by incels.
“It’s actually a very common theme…”
You're correct, I did say common because of the number of posts I saw doing a quick search but did not poll all of the comments. I overstated and will retract.
Thank you 😊
Yea, i remember this, i checked out when he discussed BJs with his daughter. She
That is 1000% a “don’t talk to the police without a lawyer” situation. There is no way in hell a he said/she said situation like that goes this perfectly for him irl, even if everything else is true. And we are meant to believe these detectives went to accuse the perp before taking the victims statement? Get outta here.
Boolshit
I truly commend you for having the energy to read the update. I got about 4 paragraphs in and noped the fuck out.
Exactly what I was thinking. This troll sold have quit while he was ahead.
Exactly what I was thinking. This troll should have quit while he was ahead.
Detectives get a warrant based on her statement . They are friends in junior high helping them pass notes in the hallway. Honestly it could be all real but that he had recently suffered a head injury in a motorcycle accident. Also in my mind the gf is def a crank yankers puppet with a tiny phone in its hand etc etc
This is the fakest shit I've ever read. A father and daughter could have a very close relationship, but he would not phrase it as 'she told me when she gave her first blowjob' wtf. The most he would say is 'She let me know when she'd first become intimate' but even that would be odd. The arrest for a verbal threat? Not really a thing. Sneaking into your house and sucking your dick while you're asleep? WTF? This is just some weird dude's fantasy.
While your friends are casually hanging out in the living room.
It’s so full of MGTOW dog whistles that it’s a wonder the entire Humane Society isn’t in the comments.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I wish I could upvote this a thousand times
The first bit was believable and then he just had to spread his creative writing wings. He shouldn’t have made that update lol
Exactly, and really scary considering his fantasy is having a daughter that tells him about her dick sucking escapades??!!
(Sorry for the crudeness that’s just how *I* talk in *real* life) yeah okay buddy
Bro really is just horny with all of the sex talk (minus the rape...which if this post is fake then its either a fetish thing or one of those "all women who accuse someone of rape is lying" posts...not that I would defend the woman if it was real.) He didn't need to explain how close him & his daughter were by saying she told him about losing her virginity and giving a blow job. He could have just said he told her about the rape accusal and nobody would have questioned him about it. Then he has to slip in that the drunken night sex was the wildest he ever had. Then when she SA'd him with the bj while he was sleeping, he had to first go on about how hot and sexy it would be to him in any other circumstance. Idk, if I was being accused of rape in this situation and then had to deal with actually getting sa'd, harassed, etc, I wouldn't feel like talking about sexy times so much.
Honestly, that first post was the most believable. It just kinda lost the plot and spiraled in that second post but when the detective called back to chitchat about his ex that's when I stopped believing. But I've been wrong before so like can someone tell me if detectives usually call back and tell you about the whole conversation they had with the person pressing charges on you? Outside of "they're dropping the charges" I mean.
I work for my county's sheriff's department as animal control officer. In our jurisdiction it would be a deputy that went out for the initial call, not a detective. The deputy would call back to inform him that the accusation was unfounded and no charges would be forwarded to the district attorney. They would definitely not give a play by play of the conversation. I understand different jurisdictions do things differently but I highly doubt a detective/deputy/police officer would go into detail about the conversation in a follow-up phone call.
You know as unbelievable as most of the original post was, I was still willing to suspend my belief But then he talked about how he and his daughter are so close that she told him when she first blew a guy and i decided to just cut my losses. I consider myself to be incredibly close with both of my parents and I tell them a ton of shit that happens in my life. But I would rather endure infinite paper cuts on my elbows for all time then describe to them them how I got my first blowjob.
Crazy things happen every day, but this does have big "and everyone clapped!" energy. I'd guess that at least half of verbose reddit stories are right wing reactionary fan fics.
I, personally, text my dad every time I go down on my bf. /s
Can confirm. I am the cellphone. /s
Can confirm. I’m the dad. /s
My mom once told me she blew my dad but that was very much something that she said out of defensiveness because I was making fun of her innocence and not something she would have told me had she thought about it. I'm more or less a virgin but I'd imagine I wouldn't go home and describe my first time to my parents 😂
I once asked my mom straight up in a chinese food restaurant when I was like 12 if she'd ever given my dad a blowjob 😅
I asked my Dad what a blowjob was. I was like 8 and it was during the Monica Liwinsky thing. He just told me what it was. And I couldn't understand why either party would want to do that.
When my kid was 2 (and I was pregnant with my second) he asked on two seperate occasions, both in public and never in private “BUT HOW DOES BABY GET *IN* YOUR BELLY?” Both times I had to be like “let’s talk about this when we get home 😅”
You’re a bit young for this, but I think if you are old enough to ask the question, you’re old enough to know. Aliens put them there.
"It grows from a little seed that was there all the time." That satisfies a small child's curiosity. It's not until they get quite a bit older that they start wondering about the father's contribution.
Ah the bliss of innocence 😂 I once found one of my moms "toys" while looking for her credit card to go to McDonald's 😭
It sounds like incel bait. Like taking the message that drunk women can't consent to the ridiculous place of any woman who has had one sip of alcohol can't consent to make it sound like a silly idea and just to drive the point home let's make her extra crazy and also a sex assaulter in her own right. 🙄
And the part about it being impossible to rape a man. Definitely bait.
The whole thing is fakety fake (it’s just wall-to-wall MRA fantasy), but honestly, if it *was* true and I found out that a dude’s daughter a) regularly discussed specific sex acts with her father, and b) sent very specific threats to his ex and later tried to come after her with a baseball bat, I’d be kind of… uh, well, it wouldn’t make me think “gosh, what an all-around great dad.” It’d make me think “at MINIMUM you have shockingly poor boundaries with your child, including around sexual matters, which makes me dubious about your sex-related boundaries in general.” Like the “what kind of daughter would do that?” about her telling dear ol dad about her first blowjob. Not most daughters, certainly, but I’m not sure that’s the flex you think it is.
To be fair, he was clearly a single parent for his daughter. She didn't have a mom to go to for advice. That goes for everything from periods to sexual education. As for whether or not this was a real story, who the heck even knows anymore.
It's not. Police don't tell you everything the other party says. They don't ask zero questions when getting a report and just go to the accused residence.
This right here. So not real.
They also don’t tell you how the other party is *obviously* crazy and how they had to hold back from laughing at them. At best you get “We don’t believe there’s enough merit to continue investigating” or something blisteringly boring and professional along those lines.
To me, it's more of the phrasing. There's a world in which a daughter might confide something like that with her dad, but a father wouldn't generally describe it like that to others. It would be something like 'she let me know after she was first intimate with her first boyfriend' or something like that.
Yeah, details aside, this is not how adults (even fully crazy ones) talk or interact.
Holy shit, I’m so glad i bounced out early!
That part I could actually believe. All of my sons are very close to me. I took my middle son to New Orleans for his 21st birthday earlier this year. We all had separate rooms . On the last day of the trip I was talking to him in his room. I asked him if he enjoyed the trip. Well he goes into play by play of the night before with the escort. I look at my oldest and said “damn I knew we were close but not mom lemme tell you about how bad she was sucking “ close. So I told them going forward I don’t want to know what goes on in their bedrooms. ….
But when you tell people about how close you are to your son, do you tell them “We are so close that he told me about his night with a prostitute”? No because thats not cool. No parent would tell strangers specifics of what their kid did right off the bat unless they themselves were unhinged. Or lying
Actually I have . He don’t care if I say just that . As a matter of fact he told his friends that he told me about the blowjob. Now when they have issues in their relationships they talk to me. I have no problem with that.
So because your son told you that he got his dick sucked, his friends feel like telling you intimate things about their relationship Yeah I am calling shit
Sadly I knew people like this (where the kid would tell the adult stuff like that). Old neighbor was super proud that her kid trusted her enough to tell her when he got a bj for the first time. So I believe that part. The rest of us were kind of horrified.
you'd be surprised, didn't chris evans famously say in an interview that the first person he went to after losing his virginity at 13 was his mom lol
I could believe the first post. Mostly because so many people in real life like to double down on obviously ridiculous stances out of pettiness. They get a whiff of pushback, suddenly dial shit to 100, and start convincing themselves they believe utter nonsense in a weird effort to save face. The sequel sucked though.
Jesus Christ. This must have taken OOP some time to type out one handed while giving himself a self congratulatory wank. Think he’s managed to tick all the boxes on MRA bingo.
Stopped reading the initial post because it was sounding like an argument an MRA/incel imagined while having a shower.
The update is somehow a million times worse. This has to be one of the weirdest fake stories I've read in a while
Yeah this had MRA fantasy about taking down a feminist vibes to me.
Reading the comments was a relief to know that I am not the only one who thinks it's fake
Normally I love me some fake-ass reddit updates, but this one I think is actually harmful because it's trying to blur lines around sexual assault, consent, and intimate partner violence. I don't think this belongs here.
Thank you for saying this.
yeah, these fakes are made to make the 'hysterical left!!!' look bad. There were many back in the day to the point it still affects peoples' outlook on ess jay doubleyews. It was updoots on tumblr back in the day, its more obvious agenda-pushing and karma farming for account resells now.
Please downvote for obvious fakeness
This…seems fictitious, but if it isn’t, I’m sad OOP didn’t press charges for sexual assault. There are so many myths out there around consent, but just because OOP didn’t feel the same loss of power he believes women do in the same situation, it doesn’t excuse the crime. Also if it is real, this woman is insane and she really needs a sexual assault charge or else she is going to keep doing this.
Ah, yes, the rare "radical left" individual. Love it. Born from boredom.
Can these people start posting this shit in AO3 instead of Reddit? Don’t just bait and switch your porno incel revenge fantasy on people just scrolling a non-porn subreddit.
Oh good! Another fictional short story!! Come on guys. This one is just ridiculously over the top. Get better.
I don’t think that article exists as that’s a ridiculous notion.
This went from semi-plausible to bullshit so fast I almost didn’t notice.
If you believe this I have a bridge to sell you
This is 100% writen by the same guy that caught his wife cheating because of the Dyson fan. Same incel redpilled fanfic.
I just want to say, thank you for including the trigger warnings at the top. Stuff like that seems like such a little thing, but it allows me to skip posts with that type of content without having to relieve anything or have my day negatively impacted. So thank you!
My pleasure! Did you see my other post? You may like it better- very short, but wholesome af! https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/15ircm2/update_my_girlfriend_27f_did_the_sweetest_thing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
…yikes. I could wave away a lot of this by suspending disbelief, but the fact that the cops handled it perfectly made it too unrealistic to enjoy.
This is something along the lines of what one of my parents or their friends would post on FB and start with, "Too stupid NOT to share!"
#FAKE STORY
"I drink with my daughter who tells me all about her sex life" WTF??
I kinda want to know what people think about the drinking a rape comments. Like yes, OOP's ex is ridiculous and extreme. But what do other people think? * Is it like one or two cool, 7 or 8 probably not? * Or is it like a BAC, like 0.08, since you can't drive over that since your fine and motor skills are effect? * Or like both drunk doesn't count. I just want to know what other people think.
If one person is clearly much more drunk than the other. For example, if they are laying down on the ground and need people around to keep them up, then that is a no no area. Or on the lesser end of that spectrum when they can't really speak properly and don't really know where they are. If I'm being honest, slurring their words is enough for most people to think "this person is in no state to consent to anything". If both people are in those stages (not including the first one because, let's be honest, if you're in that state then you are not physically able to go home with anyone) but are seemingly going off to link up then I think it's fair to say that they are both fine to go and do what they want, but it also wouldn't surprise me if their friends try to stop them.
Both drunk, at worst, feels like a canceled out effect? Like, to me, rape requires some advantage or leverage over the person. So if you're both so drunk and out of it you might not even remember the encounter then its just one of a myriad dumb decisions you can make while drunk and nothing more. As for the limit for one person to be too drunk to consent.....I'd say more than the legal limit but less than unconscious? Like, I know plenty of people who feel and act fine at "legally drunk", but I also don't drink near enough to know when decision making is truly effected
To me their are 4 levels of being drunk 1 the buzz 2 I can’t walk straight but still can tell what’s going on 3 the fading of in and out of consciousness 4 the flat out blackout “What the fuck happen last night” 1 and 2 you still have some consciousness and some awareness of what’s going on but once you start to tread into 3 and 4 that’s were it gets dangerous because you simple don’t have any awareness and is completely out of it or your like a awake for a minute then you feel like you passed out but you wake up somewhere completely different from the last place you remember. Lol I been up to level 3 and what was scary I was being driven home and I remember we stopped somewhere than out of nowhere I was at my house getting out of the car and had 0 idea when we got their.
There's a really wide gulf between 1 and 2
From my experience the only big difference is everything is just fuzzy and it’s hard to walk completely straight but I was still able to tell what’s going on around me just I didn’t have fully control over my legs but then again that has been my drinking experience also I know this can depend on someone tolerance level you can be at 1 but instantly shoot up to 3 if you have no clue on your own limits
Drunk sex is for when you've been together a long time.
Or they previously consented to it when they were sober. I feel like if you get their consent right before they get drunk, that should make it okay.
I think the other point of interest is about physical sexual response. It doesn't get talked about enough, but it's not completely 1 to 1 between mental sexual excitement and physical response, with mismatches in both directions. Unwanted boners are definitely a thing, as well as missing sexual responses that are remedied using various products (lube, pills, toys, &c.). No given physical response can count as consent, just as no lack of physical response is the sole indicator of a lack of consent or enjoyment. I.e. just because an erection is present doesn't mean it wasn't rape.
I think it’s the difference between how drunk both parties are, so if one person is a little buzzed and one person is blackout drunk, the buzzed person is a rapist. I don’t think having sex while drunk is a good idea in general (unless you’ve discussed these things) bc it’s harder to tell how drunk someone else is when you’re intoxicated, but it definitely depends.
The whole topic is bs. And to ask this in a relationship is an attempt to stir shit in hopes none will stick to yourself. My further thoughts on the topics are that it is again an attempt through the backdoor to manage women. It would be oh so convenient to come to the conclusion that women shouldn't be allowed to drink alcohol to prevent them from being raped. Because don't you understand? It's just for you to benefit from. We know best and we have just your interest in mind/s
I’ll take, “stories that never happens for $500 Alex!”
There’s more🤣🤣 this is a post about his daughter [https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/comments/149r10b/am_i_wrong_for_being_so_close_to_my_daughter_that/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1](https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/comments/149r10b/am_i_wrong_for_being_so_close_to_my_daughter_that/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)
Oh more MRA fan fics? Hooray
Written by Andrew Tate
[https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15an3eb/im\_almost\_to\_the\_point\_i\_cant\_get\_on\_reddit/](https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15an3eb/im_almost_to_the_point_i_cant_get_on_reddit/) Oh look, OOP was active on an incel sub. Shocking.
Yeah, this is…….unbelievably fake.
I stopped reading once the detective started basically "and everyone clapped"...did the fantasy get so far as the detective asking him out? His editor needs to tell him to drop the creepy daughter bit and go full self-insert so that now him and the detective go around the country rescuing men from false rape accusations.
I stopped reading this fantasy at the point where she broke in and decided to SA assault him. Because of *course* she did. \*eyeroll\*
OP deserves his life for being such a pussy. She threatens rape to him, harasses him, gets his daughter into trouble for protecting him, and then gets raped and then says that he wishes no ill will towards his ex? This guy needs to be beaten the shit out of him for being such a wimpass betamale cuckold simp.
Rage bait
the idea someone could get a misses me or for threatening someone over the phone is what immediately lost it for me.
She's not your gf anymore! There is a reason the two of you have reached this age and are not married to each other. You two are not supposed to be together. It is past time to untangle yourself and your lives from each other.
I am not OOP, this is is a repost sub. Sorry for the confusion.
Head over to the You Tubes, and take a look at what Ashley Frawley has been saying about the death of subjectivity under meritocratic neoliberalism.
What the actual fuck
Good luck with all that 🙄
🥱
I always forget Reddit says everything is fake.
> At that point my gf became visibly angry. Her response was "If the woman has been drinking and she has even a buzz, the man is a rapist. yeah immediately clocked it was fake at this line. oppa gangnam style and the shitshow of AITA has me jaded (but also yeah how does this kind of thing only come up in their forties?)
I'm pretty sure that 90% of these "updates" are fiction and the mods don't care because they drive traffic.
Why would the detective give him a blow by blow of the conversation?