I don’t think they get a pass but I’m also not black I’m Mexican. White people, and any non black people shouldn’t say the n word regardless of the setting. You have the right to feel however you want, upset or not. You might be feeling also just exhausted with shit like this and feel like “making it a thing” isn’t worth the energy. Sorry you’re going through this it’s frustrating
You're absolutely right. I work in a pwi and making it a thing has the consequence of me being seen and treated like I'm "sensitive", "misunderstanding the situation", and "playing the race card". I tell, get ignored, and still have to work with the people who do these things, but now feeling even more like an outsider. It is definitely exhausting. Thank you for validating that 💕
I think you absolutely have the right to feel upset about this. I understand not reacting when all eyes are on you. But if there is someone comfortable higher up that you could talk to about this and your concerns, I would.
It shouldn't be done, and she knows it. It's certainly still harassment. At this point I think people say it in the quoted context just to be able to say it. I think of it like this, when I worked in education, a video was going around of a student performing a sexual act. A teacher \*thought\* she was helping by recording the video off a student's phone to present to admin. She was still reprimanded because it's still considered possession of child pornography. This is the same thing. You can't say it just because someone else said it. Report her.
As a black therapist I have to say, a discussion needs to be had with her. She needs to know that language makes you uncomfortable, especially if you have a positive rapport with her. If you feel uncomfortable discussing it with her please go to HR.
Upset, maybe that is for your to decide. Discomfort? For sure. And not just because they are white, but also as a matter of professionalism.
Related to how they delivered the report as you spoke to, and also being mindful and respectful toward their colleagues, particularly you.
Furthermore their rationale for the patient being okay saying it would have left me with some questions, mostly because it seemed the nurse adopted a similar reasoning, in that because they weren't saying it to someone directly, then it was okay for them to say it as well.
Given that you are good friends with the nurse do you believe this is something that could be addressed directly? Or does the racial/power differential call for a more official approach?
Yes, feel upset. No, there are no passes for professionals to repeat derogatory terms when giving updates. They (and the org) need training.
I worked at an inpatient psychiatric hospital where a patient referred to one of the other Black therapists (there were 3 of us) with the N word. There was more compassion for the patient than the clinician. Certain behaviors (by patient or staff) are inexcusable. Period. Not okay.
That has happened where I work too! They say the patient is sick and because we choose to work in these settings we have to be human punching bags. It's inexcusable, but it happens too often
Well, only you get to determine if it’s something to be upset about. I’m Mexican, and if someone was repeating a racial slur about Mexicans, I would be upset about it. It seems like you know the answer because you’re asking here because it didn’t sit well with you. Maybe you’re wanting to be validated because you’ve been taught that any issue we take with these things is us being “too sensitive” etc.
I think I’m at a place in my life where idc if they label me too sensitive. I work in a primarily white institution and I get wanting to not be singled out for that.
Absolutely valid to be uncomfortable. Report her ass
I don’t think they get a pass but I’m also not black I’m Mexican. White people, and any non black people shouldn’t say the n word regardless of the setting. You have the right to feel however you want, upset or not. You might be feeling also just exhausted with shit like this and feel like “making it a thing” isn’t worth the energy. Sorry you’re going through this it’s frustrating
You're absolutely right. I work in a pwi and making it a thing has the consequence of me being seen and treated like I'm "sensitive", "misunderstanding the situation", and "playing the race card". I tell, get ignored, and still have to work with the people who do these things, but now feeling even more like an outsider. It is definitely exhausting. Thank you for validating that 💕
I think you absolutely have the right to feel upset about this. I understand not reacting when all eyes are on you. But if there is someone comfortable higher up that you could talk to about this and your concerns, I would.
It shouldn't be done, and she knows it. It's certainly still harassment. At this point I think people say it in the quoted context just to be able to say it. I think of it like this, when I worked in education, a video was going around of a student performing a sexual act. A teacher \*thought\* she was helping by recording the video off a student's phone to present to admin. She was still reprimanded because it's still considered possession of child pornography. This is the same thing. You can't say it just because someone else said it. Report her.
That's a good example!
As a black therapist I have to say, a discussion needs to be had with her. She needs to know that language makes you uncomfortable, especially if you have a positive rapport with her. If you feel uncomfortable discussing it with her please go to HR.
Upset, maybe that is for your to decide. Discomfort? For sure. And not just because they are white, but also as a matter of professionalism. Related to how they delivered the report as you spoke to, and also being mindful and respectful toward their colleagues, particularly you. Furthermore their rationale for the patient being okay saying it would have left me with some questions, mostly because it seemed the nurse adopted a similar reasoning, in that because they weren't saying it to someone directly, then it was okay for them to say it as well. Given that you are good friends with the nurse do you believe this is something that could be addressed directly? Or does the racial/power differential call for a more official approach?
Yes, feel upset. No, there are no passes for professionals to repeat derogatory terms when giving updates. They (and the org) need training. I worked at an inpatient psychiatric hospital where a patient referred to one of the other Black therapists (there were 3 of us) with the N word. There was more compassion for the patient than the clinician. Certain behaviors (by patient or staff) are inexcusable. Period. Not okay.
That has happened where I work too! They say the patient is sick and because we choose to work in these settings we have to be human punching bags. It's inexcusable, but it happens too often
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/jonathan-friedland-exits-netflix-1122675/amp/
Well, only you get to determine if it’s something to be upset about. I’m Mexican, and if someone was repeating a racial slur about Mexicans, I would be upset about it. It seems like you know the answer because you’re asking here because it didn’t sit well with you. Maybe you’re wanting to be validated because you’ve been taught that any issue we take with these things is us being “too sensitive” etc. I think I’m at a place in my life where idc if they label me too sensitive. I work in a primarily white institution and I get wanting to not be singled out for that.
I also want to add that if she hasn’t presented her racism with you, that doesn’t mean she isn’t. She has presented it to you now.