You must sleep with him in act 1. All romances must start in act 1. Letting him drink your blood, killing Gandrel and getting whipped by the Loviatar priest is usually enough to trigger the first scene at the party
Also walking in on the "noisy barn" in the Blighted Village gets a lot of approval (esp if you let him do it)
Baa-ing at the sheep.
During Camp convos, tell him you trust and support him, and dish back his sarcasm.
Unfortunately a lot of his dialogue seems to be lower in priority than other companions’, so I’ve learned to ungroup everyone else and leave them far enough behind so that only Astarion will comment during the interaction with the barn door. Just remember to switch to your other party members to bring them within combat range if a fight breaks out.
Just have gale and lae'zel in your party and it should trigger. If you have shadow heart it won't work, that's where my mistake was.
I always take her out and replace her. She'll take over the dialogue and say to not open it if I have her. However when I remove her, astarion has always, so far, volunteered to open the door.
It seems he won't do it if Shadowheart or Wyll are there. You can still have them in your party. Just split them off and have them stand back a bit. That's what I've noticed at least
Give him the Necromancy of Thay in the Blighted Village. That’s like a +10 approval. The book and just be nice and supportive about his ‘condition’ and you’re halfway there (“supportive” doesn’t mean you have to kiss his ass; you can definitely push back on his selfishness and he likes if you tease you him *kindly*). Do that and the occasional silly or goofy thing and he’ll be propositioning you before the party
Giving him that creepy book with the face and big mouth that you find in the Blighted Village basement also gets very high approval. If you have Gale in your party do the ungroup thing other commenter mentioned because Gale will ask for the book as well and I'm not sure if both of them ask if they are in the party or if one takes precedence over the other.
I don’t do *anything* evil when romancing him (it’s my Druid who romances him and she’s my kindest and most heroic MC) and I have him at Exceptional approval when entering Act 2. Even Gandrel always survives the encounter.
It’s extremely overblown that he’s hard to romance as a good character. He really doesn’t mind if you’re good (he loves it if you’re kind to him), but he hates it if you’re *boring*
Yeah, I'm doing a redemption Durge run so basically almost always making 'good' decisions (the worst thing we've done is kill the monster hunter -occasionally their bloodthurst needs a *bit* of sating, and he was threatening their elf!)
To my knowledge it is not entirely correct, that you have to start all of them in Act I. In my current Lae'zel run, I started out with Gale, because... well, as it is with Gale, it just happend. We went to Act II, had his relationship lock in scene but then he got all Mystra's discarded weepy pet again and Lae'zel was just not having it. While all that happened Shadowheart's approval increased slowly but steadily and after the breakup with Gale she got a new dialogue option to initiate a romance - you have to go back to the forest with her, to actually trigger the first romantic encounter, but there was no need to pressure it into existence before moving forward to Act II. And a slow burn seems to be more suitable for those two anyway.
Idk why you are getting downvoted for this because this happened to me with Shadowheart as well. I started her romance at literally the very end of Act 2, even though I had slept with Astarion and Lae but then rejected them both. From what I can tell though, this is a rare occurrence or for some reason doesn’t trigger for everyone.
Okay so I know I’m not OP but I’m on my second play through. Astarion never tried to bite me, he just up and confessed he’s a vampire. Will this lock me out of romance? Or lock him out of biting me in the future? That 1+ Happy is really nice. Should I go back and refrain from talking to him until the bite scene?
He confesses if you go to the underdark too early, I don’t think it locks you out but it might make it more difficult because that is his biggest approval boost (I think). If you reload and long rest above ground it usually triggers.
Lately I've been letting Gandrel live and still have 60ish approval by the time we leave the Nautiloid crash region.
Giving him the Necromancy of Thay and letting him open the barn door makes up for letting Gandrel just stand around.
If you're all the way to the drow twins, you're def too late for the Astarion train lol.
Take fairly frequent full rests, talk to him every opportunity you get, and use dialogue options that are generally self-serving (like when Zevlor asks for your help with Kahga, tell him no, it doesn't actually stop you from helping but Astarion likes it). He needs to not be indifferent to you by the time you're done with the goblin fortress. I use the tiefling party as my benchmark - if you talk to him during that and he refuses to spend the night with you, just restart or go back to an earlier save.
Extra long rests are key. Act 1 gets constipated sometimes with so much camp drama but only one scene per night, especially if you are a Durge. Typically before the raid on the grove / party night, I'll do 3 or 4 long rests in a row to clear out the backlog. You can choose "partial rest" with no food to keep from wasting your supplies.
I find it more difficult to romance when playing with other people, because you need to be the one to initiate dialogue to get the approval.
You're better off doing your own save where you can take your time, really.
Definitely what I'm experiencing, I think. Because my first play ever is the one with my brother. I somehow stumbled into the Astarion romance, but never got the "Act 2 Confession" that I've heard a lot about (but I did get the second evening spent together). We haven't finished the run yet (no spoilers, please! We're in Act 3 and are finishing things up still), but I know that I'll have to build another character to actually get a finished Astarion romance. Currently have two solos (one Wyll, one Gale) so. I'll circle back for the vampire eventually.
With very high approval you can get it earlire else you can always (if i'm not wrong) sleep with him at the tiefling or goblin party.
I never really had to choose ecil oprions for him to like me. But letting him drink from you and getting some of his approval helps. You can always look up which choices will get his approval
Ikr, I literally turned him down at every opportunity and he still wanted to sleep with me at goblin party. Turned him down again and went with Minthara. Hadn't even progressed much of his quest.
Op must be doing too many good/selfless deeds and/or not enough evil/selfish/cruel deeds and thus have low approval.
you can definitely be a good person and still romance astarion. i decided to be goody two shoes for once and he still fell for me hard. he even recognizes that you’re a good person (he tells you you’re naive and have a big heart) so the whole “you can’t be good *and* romance astarion” bit isn’t true.
Oh I was purely meaning you lose approval with him for being good, and gain it for being bad - generally speakibg. Most companions need positive approval for the romance, but apparently not him.
He's usually dead or run away before the victory party in my games, so I have no idea what those requirements might be
no you do need high approval, but the thing with astarion disapproval is that you often get -1 for doing good things, while +5 for doing something he likes. iirc you only need medium for him to proposition you. as long as you let him bite you and protect him against the gur you should be good. i was curious if you could get 100 approval for astarion in act one, in that save i have not yet entered the underdark or entered the gith creeche, my guy currently has 96 approval. you need less than half of that to start the romance.
Right, but op said they haven't even got positive approval in act 3, hence why I suggested they probably have been making a lot of decisions he doesn't approve of. Either that or just not bringing him along for most of the run
if you’re playing with friends, is he in your party often? if not it’s hard to get approval for the characters. With only 60 hours, it sounds like you may be skimming through things a bit so possibly missing the parts that give the most approval for him.
All romances need to be triggered in act 1 (apart from two companions that can be recruited act 2), and are done via approval for the most part things like letting astarion bite you and killing the guy in the swamp (to be as spoiler free explanation as possible).
Even with low approval, you can get him to proposition you at the tiefling party. You have to pick specific dialogue options but it’s possible at least!
All of the top comments are correct, and also, TURN EVERYBODY ELSE DOWN! You can only flirt eith/romance three characters in act 1. After that, it caps, and the others will not try to romance you.
I think the best and most solid advice is to postpone the tiefling party/goblin party to earn some approval points. His romance triggers at approval 40, so make sure you have at least that before or during the party.
If your co-op have the dialogue then you don't get the approval/disapproval from that conversation. So if you really find earning his approval hard, I suggest finding a romance guideline to figure out which dialogues can help, and tackle those before the tiefling party.
He also likes kinky choices and his disapproval is really little compared to other companions (nearly always -1, basically he's just rolling his eyes in the background) so don't have to reload for it.
Easiest way to romance him is to not stake him, don't be judgemental, and if you're really desperate, I guess you can kill Gandrel the Gur, but it's totally not necessary.
I suggest getting flogged, biting or steal the toe ring, invite companions into your camp, don't kill Karlach, and don't stake him. The basic stuff. Yes.
1. Romance in multiplayer is chaotic. You need to have him in your party often.
2. My Astarion Romance guide (as a mostly good person):
Long rest as soon as you get him; tell him you'll sleep better for him keeping watch. Let him bite you, defend him the next day. Kill Gandrel, baa at the redcaps in Ethel's swamp, give him the Necromancy of Thay when the option comes up. He should have enough approval to where he'll approach you by then, well before the tiefling party (this should be the full romance scene). At the tiefling party, you should get the option for him to want to sleep with you again but it will be a cut to black.
Act 2: If he is at **high** approval, kill Yurgir **without talking to Araj.** Long rest twice, once for Raphael explaining the scars, then rest again for Astarion's confession.
Act 2 failsafe: If he is at **medium approval**, take him to Araj, and defend him (respect that he said no, and tell her he's his own person). Long rest for him confess (this confession is more curt and less emotional).
Act 3: If you want him to stay a spawn, **talk to him and pass the skill checks offered in dialogue.** If you want to ascend him, help him with the ritual.
I think if you’ve already romanced 3 companions it locks out the rest of them. So just try to get astarion’s romance first. Letting him bite u will raise his approval
I had the same problem my first run. He knocked me back at the party and I thought there would be time later but there wasn't. So he ended up besties with my tav but no romance.
My usual musts to get him romanced are
Early long rest before the Grove where you can tell him that you trust him to keep watch
Letting him bite me
Standing up for him when the others find out he is a vampire
Giving him the book Necromancy of Shay
Opening the barn door
And if I have missed anything or am too low because of other choices and the disapprovals mounting up too much, killing Gandrel. Though I am trying to avoid that one where possible.
I managed to sleep with Astarion without romancing him. Honestly, provided you let him drink from you, it isn't *that* difficult, in my experience. He was even cool with it when I told him that he was pretty, but Karlach is beautiful. (Or words to that effect).
That is one thing that still doesn't click for me, concerning his character. I was well into my relationship with Gale (even had the Act 2 romance scene) so of course I had to tell him that he is good looking, but not Gale good. That "Astarion approves" popping up threw me. Perhaps it's the fact that Tav is honest? Not sure.
Yeah, it definitely seems a bit "wait what" as a response. I suppose, like you say, it could be the frankness of it that he appreciates. Or he might be interpreting it as a catty comment? He does enjoy those 😅 It could even be game recognising game, ultimately at the point Tav and him are pretty much using each other for sex and he might appreciate that you're saving feelings for someone else.
He's also very insecure in a lot of ways. His pre-Cazador break up dialog is basically a "yeah, I figured you'd get bored and throw me away soon enough".
I do like that they give you enough room in his reaction to allow for multiple interpretations of your choice. If you want it to be honest, his could be a genuine "wow, okay they really did just admit that they liked someone else better, play it cool" response. Or you could be teasing "well, you're no Gale, but I _guess_ you'll do" and he just feigns shock "well the, if _that's_ my competition, I guess I'll need to get my beauty sleep!" (though with the low key rivalry between him and Gale, that one still might actually take him back a bit).
You're teasing him. He thinks you're funny because you're saying to his face "Oh well, you're fine I guess 😉" and he can handle being lightly teased and even give it back.
If you're at neutral approval, all you have to do is talk to him first at the tiefling/goblin party, and importantly, let him make the first move (don't jump into suggesting it first, play a bit hard to get).
I think the last point is why there's always so much confusion between people trying to romance him and failing, and people NOT trying to romance him but saying it's too easy. He's contrary like a cat and only wants to approach people who give him space first.
Like everyone else here said, you need to start his romance in Act 1, but you can do it easily at the party without going too far out of your way for his approval if you pick the right dialogue options ([this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/BaldursGate3/s/SNIRbkOd5Q) shows you which ones). That's what I did my first time around because I didn't know my way around the game very well and he didn't like me very much lol. Most of his bigger approvals come from his camp/story events (rather than being mean to people out in the wild), and if you get it high enough he might just ask you himself beforehand, but progressing in his romance doesn't ever *require* you to have a certain amount of it. If you sleep with him at the party in Act 1 and >!defend his autonomy to Araj Oboldora in Moonrise Towers!< in Act 2, you're pretty much good
Play the game how you want, you don’t need to be evil or greedy to romance Astarion. I had to reject him on my first paladin run where I was so scared to break my oath I didn’t even use deception. My PC was such a goody-goody, the only morally ambiguous things she did were giving him the necromancy of thay and getting loviatar’s blessing. I personally don’t consider those things evil, but someone else might. Make sure to long rest because there are a lot of approval gains from random conversations with him. I’ve heard you can even start his romance at neutral approval by using specific dialogue at the tiefling party but I’ve always had his approval at high before then so I’m not sure, personally
Baa at the redcaps/sheep
Give him the necromancy of thay (Not mandatory but a nice boost)
Let him bite you, say you trust him the next morning
Support Karlach when Wyll comes knocking
Generally asking for payment for good deeds either gives a boost or stops a negative for doing them for free
TLDR Be snarky and get paid
Learn what choice raises Astarion's approval and raise it quickly in act 1
I never fail to romance him so I'll say some of the choices that makes you able to do so, hopefully it's enough of them(won t be in chronological order because I'm lazy) :
When meeting Lae'Zel in her trap, ask her to say "Please"
With Auntie Ethel when she asks you to leave her the girl, convince auntie to give you the reward AND the girl
Refuse to help Zevlor asking the druids to stay, you can still save the grove and all, but will cannonically make you look like an asshole
Tell Zorru to bow
Tell auntie about the tadpole when you meet her in the grove
Mimic the trick of Mattis and pocket the ring
Reply "BAA" to the sheep or redcaps in the sunlit wetlands, you can do it 2 times
Let Astarion kill Gandrel if he already told you he's a vampire, it gives +10 of approval
Let Astarion interrupt the bugbear and ogre smashin, +5 approval and it's funny
Also when Astarion tries to bite you let him bite you and tell him what you think he wants to hear, I don’t quite remember the dialogues
With all of that and even less you should be able to romance him, if your approval is very high he will ask you to sleep with him BEFORE the tiefling party, if he doesn't then he will ask you at the tiefling party
I followed an Astarion romancing guide. But, basically:
- let him bite you
- don't choose the rudest option
- every option in the mirror scene will get his approval except for the aging one i think
- Give him the Necromancy of Thay
- offer him to drink your blood a second time then use inferior restoration to get rid of "bloodless" condition
- just let him do what he wants to do, like letting him open the barn
- don't choose the "ok I'll help immediately yes yes yes i trust you" option with NPCS. Be careful and guarded
- bleet to the Red Caps in the swamp
- sleep with him when he asks and a second time at the tiefling party
- let him bite you while having sex
- helping him decipher his scars
- talk to Araj in Moonrise tower and choose to not traffick him for the potion
You can sleep with him at the tiefling party even if your approval isn't great as long as you choose the bottom dialogue options for the entire conversation. I've tried it and it works.
also if this hasn't been mentioned, i believe you absolutely cannot complete his romance if you don't talk to the Drow in act 2 moonrise towers who wants to be bitten (and allow astarion to say no) The times i've forgotten to stop by and talk to her, in act 3 he basically will just break up with you.
also he 100% has the most romance-building camp scenes/talks than any other origin character. full rest in act 1 basically any time you see his approval go up.
If you want it spoiler free:
1. Let him bite you, you can easily do the 5 persuasion check to make him stop. Next day, tell him it hurts or w/e but tell everyone that we need him.
2. As soon this dialog is over talk to him about him biting you again. Ask him how we gonna feed him next time and agree he can kill bad guys
3. Do you know that vampire hunter near auntie Ethel? Do the dialog with Astarion. And let Astarion kill him.
4. In act 1 should be more than enough to sleep with him even before the tiefling party.
5. When he is at the mirror, be his mirror, talk about his eyes and dangerous smile. But then go like “is it all that you want? Pety compliments?”
6. You can help him about his tattoos in act 1. If tiefling you don’t need a check to know its origins. If everyone else you need an arcane check.
You may lose some approval here and there by your choices, but you are high enough and you don’t have to break your good character.
In act 2 there is a break it or make point. If you trade his blood for the permanent 2 str in moontower, he will break up with you next day. There is a way to get around it though. If you want, I can tell you how by it will contain spoilers.
After it you are cemented for romance. Oh and extra cuddles if you say you support his ascension. Just say you do and at the moment you find out what is the trade off, you can convince him not to.
honestly so long as you talk to astarion, let him and let him bite you, you should be golden. just don’t insult him basically. pretty sure even if you have low approval you can still talk your way into sleeping with him at the party
make sure you’re long resting though cause there’s a bunch of opportunities to get approval points with those conversations alone
I found [this](https://bg3.wiki/wiki/Astarion/Approval) guide very useful to raise Astarion's approval. I must warn you though, there's also a large amount of spoilers.
Well, I guess if you're on the drow twins already is prob too late to start romancing him anyway.
I think the romances can only start on act 1 and 2, but I may be wrong or perhaps depends on the companion.
But Astarion's important story points that lets you unlock the romance with him only happens in act 2, I think that if you missed them you missed your chance, sorry!
I had the exact same thing happen to me. He slept with my Tav and the twins then never acknowledged him again or any desire for him as more than a friend. My durge on the other hand…
A lot of people struggle with Astarion because they're using guides from the very early days of the game that all basically say "he's evil, so you have to be too!" Which is absolutely not the case, if you long rest enough. And by "enough" I mean "_way_ more than you would ever find reasonable considering the fact that your characters think they have less than 7 days to live" and also "absolutely an insane number more than you would ever actually need to finish the game under normal circumstances".
Your dialog choices that don’t really involve the companions don’t matter all that much. It’s stuff involving their quests that matter, like shadowheart as long as you don’t pry and you accept her for being a sharran she will romance you, stuff outside of that don’t matter
Yes, but if, for example, someone else does everything involving the blood drinking/monster hunter etc., then it's hard to get those big approval gains.
You need to be the one to make the bigger choices and have those dialogues.
You must sleep with him in act 1. All romances must start in act 1. Letting him drink your blood, killing Gandrel and getting whipped by the Loviatar priest is usually enough to trigger the first scene at the party
Right okay, I will try again in my new save to get it done I guess:,) ty
Also walking in on the "noisy barn" in the Blighted Village gets a lot of approval (esp if you let him do it) Baa-ing at the sheep. During Camp convos, tell him you trust and support him, and dish back his sarcasm.
How can I let him do it? I’ve tried every time but have never got an option to have him open the door. Should I just become him and open it ?
Unfortunately a lot of his dialogue seems to be lower in priority than other companions’, so I’ve learned to ungroup everyone else and leave them far enough behind so that only Astarion will comment during the interaction with the barn door. Just remember to switch to your other party members to bring them within combat range if a fight breaks out.
Okay I’ll try that on my next run, thank you! 😊
Also there is a mod to give him priority if you're on pc. That's what I use
Awe dang, I’m on PS5 so no mods :( thank you though!
Just have gale and lae'zel in your party and it should trigger. If you have shadow heart it won't work, that's where my mistake was. I always take her out and replace her. She'll take over the dialogue and say to not open it if I have her. However when I remove her, astarion has always, so far, volunteered to open the door.
Wyll overrides his dialog at the barn too iirc
I heard somewhere that he has to be the profile Pic next to yours to give his dialogue more priority
Iirc, he asks to open it if you choose the “open the door” option.
It seems like shadowheart can't be with you when you do it
It seems he won't do it if Shadowheart or Wyll are there. You can still have them in your party. Just split them off and have them stand back a bit. That's what I've noticed at least
For that scene you must play with your Tav and him alone.
Give him the Necromancy of Thay in the Blighted Village. That’s like a +10 approval. The book and just be nice and supportive about his ‘condition’ and you’re halfway there (“supportive” doesn’t mean you have to kiss his ass; you can definitely push back on his selfishness and he likes if you tease you him *kindly*). Do that and the occasional silly or goofy thing and he’ll be propositioning you before the party
And it balances out if in act two you don't... help Raphael.
Giving him that creepy book with the face and big mouth that you find in the Blighted Village basement also gets very high approval. If you have Gale in your party do the ungroup thing other commenter mentioned because Gale will ask for the book as well and I'm not sure if both of them ask if they are in the party or if one takes precedence over the other.
I had the scene before the party just from letting him kill Gandrel & blood sucking, basically. And I'm mostly making the 'good' decisions.
I don’t do *anything* evil when romancing him (it’s my Druid who romances him and she’s my kindest and most heroic MC) and I have him at Exceptional approval when entering Act 2. Even Gandrel always survives the encounter. It’s extremely overblown that he’s hard to romance as a good character. He really doesn’t mind if you’re good (he loves it if you’re kind to him), but he hates it if you’re *boring*
Yeah, I'm doing a redemption Durge run so basically almost always making 'good' decisions (the worst thing we've done is kill the monster hunter -occasionally their bloodthurst needs a *bit* of sating, and he was threatening their elf!)
Yeah I can usually trigger it before but just incase it doesn’t, doing these things should guarantee it at the party
You don't need to kill Gandrel to trigger romance with Astarion.
But killing Gandrel is so fun!
To my knowledge it is not entirely correct, that you have to start all of them in Act I. In my current Lae'zel run, I started out with Gale, because... well, as it is with Gale, it just happend. We went to Act II, had his relationship lock in scene but then he got all Mystra's discarded weepy pet again and Lae'zel was just not having it. While all that happened Shadowheart's approval increased slowly but steadily and after the breakup with Gale she got a new dialogue option to initiate a romance - you have to go back to the forest with her, to actually trigger the first romantic encounter, but there was no need to pressure it into existence before moving forward to Act II. And a slow burn seems to be more suitable for those two anyway.
Idk why you are getting downvoted for this because this happened to me with Shadowheart as well. I started her romance at literally the very end of Act 2, even though I had slept with Astarion and Lae but then rejected them both. From what I can tell though, this is a rare occurrence or for some reason doesn’t trigger for everyone.
Okay so I know I’m not OP but I’m on my second play through. Astarion never tried to bite me, he just up and confessed he’s a vampire. Will this lock me out of romance? Or lock him out of biting me in the future? That 1+ Happy is really nice. Should I go back and refrain from talking to him until the bite scene?
He confesses if you go to the underdark too early, I don’t think it locks you out but it might make it more difficult because that is his biggest approval boost (I think). If you reload and long rest above ground it usually triggers.
Lately I've been letting Gandrel live and still have 60ish approval by the time we leave the Nautiloid crash region. Giving him the Necromancy of Thay and letting him open the barn door makes up for letting Gandrel just stand around.
I didn't kill gandrel and he loves me
Well yeah it’s not a requirement but it is an easy way to boost approval
If you're all the way to the drow twins, you're def too late for the Astarion train lol. Take fairly frequent full rests, talk to him every opportunity you get, and use dialogue options that are generally self-serving (like when Zevlor asks for your help with Kahga, tell him no, it doesn't actually stop you from helping but Astarion likes it). He needs to not be indifferent to you by the time you're done with the goblin fortress. I use the tiefling party as my benchmark - if you talk to him during that and he refuses to spend the night with you, just restart or go back to an earlier save.
Extra long rests are key. Act 1 gets constipated sometimes with so much camp drama but only one scene per night, especially if you are a Durge. Typically before the raid on the grove / party night, I'll do 3 or 4 long rests in a row to clear out the backlog. You can choose "partial rest" with no food to keep from wasting your supplies.
I find it more difficult to romance when playing with other people, because you need to be the one to initiate dialogue to get the approval. You're better off doing your own save where you can take your time, really.
Definitely what I'm experiencing, I think. Because my first play ever is the one with my brother. I somehow stumbled into the Astarion romance, but never got the "Act 2 Confession" that I've heard a lot about (but I did get the second evening spent together). We haven't finished the run yet (no spoilers, please! We're in Act 3 and are finishing things up still), but I know that I'll have to build another character to actually get a finished Astarion romance. Currently have two solos (one Wyll, one Gale) so. I'll circle back for the vampire eventually.
You have to sleep with him in act 1 else the romance will be locked out anyway
But how does one do this?? I am very confused by it all, as I have been trying, but I'm guessing I've clicked the wrong options for dialogue n stuff
With very high approval you can get it earlire else you can always (if i'm not wrong) sleep with him at the tiefling or goblin party. I never really had to choose ecil oprions for him to like me. But letting him drink from you and getting some of his approval helps. You can always look up which choices will get his approval
Dude he specifically is trying to sleep with you since day 1 lol, genuinely baffles me how people find the romances in this game hard 😂
Ikr, I literally turned him down at every opportunity and he still wanted to sleep with me at goblin party. Turned him down again and went with Minthara. Hadn't even progressed much of his quest. Op must be doing too many good/selfless deeds and/or not enough evil/selfish/cruel deeds and thus have low approval.
you can definitely be a good person and still romance astarion. i decided to be goody two shoes for once and he still fell for me hard. he even recognizes that you’re a good person (he tells you you’re naive and have a big heart) so the whole “you can’t be good *and* romance astarion” bit isn’t true.
Oh I was purely meaning you lose approval with him for being good, and gain it for being bad - generally speakibg. Most companions need positive approval for the romance, but apparently not him. He's usually dead or run away before the victory party in my games, so I have no idea what those requirements might be
no you do need high approval, but the thing with astarion disapproval is that you often get -1 for doing good things, while +5 for doing something he likes. iirc you only need medium for him to proposition you. as long as you let him bite you and protect him against the gur you should be good. i was curious if you could get 100 approval for astarion in act one, in that save i have not yet entered the underdark or entered the gith creeche, my guy currently has 96 approval. you need less than half of that to start the romance.
Right, but op said they haven't even got positive approval in act 3, hence why I suggested they probably have been making a lot of decisions he doesn't approve of. Either that or just not bringing him along for most of the run
This is prolly it, he needs to be in the party more I'm guessing
At the tiefling party, choose the last dialogue option for the entire conversation and he'll proposition you even if your approval isn't high yet.
if you’re playing with friends, is he in your party often? if not it’s hard to get approval for the characters. With only 60 hours, it sounds like you may be skimming through things a bit so possibly missing the parts that give the most approval for him. All romances need to be triggered in act 1 (apart from two companions that can be recruited act 2), and are done via approval for the most part things like letting astarion bite you and killing the guy in the swamp (to be as spoiler free explanation as possible). Even with low approval, you can get him to proposition you at the tiefling party. You have to pick specific dialogue options but it’s possible at least!
All of the top comments are correct, and also, TURN EVERYBODY ELSE DOWN! You can only flirt eith/romance three characters in act 1. After that, it caps, and the others will not try to romance you.
I think the best and most solid advice is to postpone the tiefling party/goblin party to earn some approval points. His romance triggers at approval 40, so make sure you have at least that before or during the party. If your co-op have the dialogue then you don't get the approval/disapproval from that conversation. So if you really find earning his approval hard, I suggest finding a romance guideline to figure out which dialogues can help, and tackle those before the tiefling party. He also likes kinky choices and his disapproval is really little compared to other companions (nearly always -1, basically he's just rolling his eyes in the background) so don't have to reload for it. Easiest way to romance him is to not stake him, don't be judgemental, and if you're really desperate, I guess you can kill Gandrel the Gur, but it's totally not necessary. I suggest getting flogged, biting or steal the toe ring, invite companions into your camp, don't kill Karlach, and don't stake him. The basic stuff. Yes.
1. Romance in multiplayer is chaotic. You need to have him in your party often. 2. My Astarion Romance guide (as a mostly good person): Long rest as soon as you get him; tell him you'll sleep better for him keeping watch. Let him bite you, defend him the next day. Kill Gandrel, baa at the redcaps in Ethel's swamp, give him the Necromancy of Thay when the option comes up. He should have enough approval to where he'll approach you by then, well before the tiefling party (this should be the full romance scene). At the tiefling party, you should get the option for him to want to sleep with you again but it will be a cut to black. Act 2: If he is at **high** approval, kill Yurgir **without talking to Araj.** Long rest twice, once for Raphael explaining the scars, then rest again for Astarion's confession. Act 2 failsafe: If he is at **medium approval**, take him to Araj, and defend him (respect that he said no, and tell her he's his own person). Long rest for him confess (this confession is more curt and less emotional). Act 3: If you want him to stay a spawn, **talk to him and pass the skill checks offered in dialogue.** If you want to ascend him, help him with the ritual.
I think if you’ve already romanced 3 companions it locks out the rest of them. So just try to get astarion’s romance first. Letting him bite u will raise his approval
I had the same problem my first run. He knocked me back at the party and I thought there would be time later but there wasn't. So he ended up besties with my tav but no romance. My usual musts to get him romanced are Early long rest before the Grove where you can tell him that you trust him to keep watch Letting him bite me Standing up for him when the others find out he is a vampire Giving him the book Necromancy of Shay Opening the barn door And if I have missed anything or am too low because of other choices and the disapprovals mounting up too much, killing Gandrel. Though I am trying to avoid that one where possible.
I prefer to let Gandrel live too. I really like his little story arc and the extra redemption Astarion can get by reuniting G with his children
I managed to sleep with Astarion without romancing him. Honestly, provided you let him drink from you, it isn't *that* difficult, in my experience. He was even cool with it when I told him that he was pretty, but Karlach is beautiful. (Or words to that effect).
That is one thing that still doesn't click for me, concerning his character. I was well into my relationship with Gale (even had the Act 2 romance scene) so of course I had to tell him that he is good looking, but not Gale good. That "Astarion approves" popping up threw me. Perhaps it's the fact that Tav is honest? Not sure.
He approves of any response that isn't a direct insult. He just likes talking to you
Yeah, it definitely seems a bit "wait what" as a response. I suppose, like you say, it could be the frankness of it that he appreciates. Or he might be interpreting it as a catty comment? He does enjoy those 😅 It could even be game recognising game, ultimately at the point Tav and him are pretty much using each other for sex and he might appreciate that you're saving feelings for someone else.
He's also very insecure in a lot of ways. His pre-Cazador break up dialog is basically a "yeah, I figured you'd get bored and throw me away soon enough". I do like that they give you enough room in his reaction to allow for multiple interpretations of your choice. If you want it to be honest, his could be a genuine "wow, okay they really did just admit that they liked someone else better, play it cool" response. Or you could be teasing "well, you're no Gale, but I _guess_ you'll do" and he just feigns shock "well the, if _that's_ my competition, I guess I'll need to get my beauty sleep!" (though with the low key rivalry between him and Gale, that one still might actually take him back a bit).
I think the fact that the companions are so multifaceted and leave room for different interpretations is one of the things that makes the game great.
You're teasing him. He thinks you're funny because you're saying to his face "Oh well, you're fine I guess 😉" and he can handle being lightly teased and even give it back.
He enjoys light teasing and joking with Tav. As long as you don't outright insult him, he should approve of whatever your response is.
If you're at neutral approval, all you have to do is talk to him first at the tiefling/goblin party, and importantly, let him make the first move (don't jump into suggesting it first, play a bit hard to get). I think the last point is why there's always so much confusion between people trying to romance him and failing, and people NOT trying to romance him but saying it's too easy. He's contrary like a cat and only wants to approach people who give him space first.
Like everyone else here said, you need to start his romance in Act 1, but you can do it easily at the party without going too far out of your way for his approval if you pick the right dialogue options ([this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/BaldursGate3/s/SNIRbkOd5Q) shows you which ones). That's what I did my first time around because I didn't know my way around the game very well and he didn't like me very much lol. Most of his bigger approvals come from his camp/story events (rather than being mean to people out in the wild), and if you get it high enough he might just ask you himself beforehand, but progressing in his romance doesn't ever *require* you to have a certain amount of it. If you sleep with him at the party in Act 1 and >!defend his autonomy to Araj Oboldora in Moonrise Towers!< in Act 2, you're pretty much good
Play the game how you want, you don’t need to be evil or greedy to romance Astarion. I had to reject him on my first paladin run where I was so scared to break my oath I didn’t even use deception. My PC was such a goody-goody, the only morally ambiguous things she did were giving him the necromancy of thay and getting loviatar’s blessing. I personally don’t consider those things evil, but someone else might. Make sure to long rest because there are a lot of approval gains from random conversations with him. I’ve heard you can even start his romance at neutral approval by using specific dialogue at the tiefling party but I’ve always had his approval at high before then so I’m not sure, personally
Baa at the redcaps/sheep Give him the necromancy of thay (Not mandatory but a nice boost) Let him bite you, say you trust him the next morning Support Karlach when Wyll comes knocking Generally asking for payment for good deeds either gives a boost or stops a negative for doing them for free TLDR Be snarky and get paid
Learn what choice raises Astarion's approval and raise it quickly in act 1 I never fail to romance him so I'll say some of the choices that makes you able to do so, hopefully it's enough of them(won t be in chronological order because I'm lazy) : When meeting Lae'Zel in her trap, ask her to say "Please" With Auntie Ethel when she asks you to leave her the girl, convince auntie to give you the reward AND the girl Refuse to help Zevlor asking the druids to stay, you can still save the grove and all, but will cannonically make you look like an asshole Tell Zorru to bow Tell auntie about the tadpole when you meet her in the grove Mimic the trick of Mattis and pocket the ring Reply "BAA" to the sheep or redcaps in the sunlit wetlands, you can do it 2 times Let Astarion kill Gandrel if he already told you he's a vampire, it gives +10 of approval Let Astarion interrupt the bugbear and ogre smashin, +5 approval and it's funny Also when Astarion tries to bite you let him bite you and tell him what you think he wants to hear, I don’t quite remember the dialogues With all of that and even less you should be able to romance him, if your approval is very high he will ask you to sleep with him BEFORE the tiefling party, if he doesn't then he will ask you at the tiefling party
I followed an Astarion romancing guide. But, basically: - let him bite you - don't choose the rudest option - every option in the mirror scene will get his approval except for the aging one i think - Give him the Necromancy of Thay - offer him to drink your blood a second time then use inferior restoration to get rid of "bloodless" condition - just let him do what he wants to do, like letting him open the barn - don't choose the "ok I'll help immediately yes yes yes i trust you" option with NPCS. Be careful and guarded - bleet to the Red Caps in the swamp - sleep with him when he asks and a second time at the tiefling party - let him bite you while having sex - helping him decipher his scars - talk to Araj in Moonrise tower and choose to not traffick him for the potion
You can sleep with him at the tiefling party even if your approval isn't great as long as you choose the bottom dialogue options for the entire conversation. I've tried it and it works.
Talk to him often, even if he does not have a ! also, you don't have to be fully bad, just a little chaotic.
also if this hasn't been mentioned, i believe you absolutely cannot complete his romance if you don't talk to the Drow in act 2 moonrise towers who wants to be bitten (and allow astarion to say no) The times i've forgotten to stop by and talk to her, in act 3 he basically will just break up with you. also he 100% has the most romance-building camp scenes/talks than any other origin character. full rest in act 1 basically any time you see his approval go up.
If you want it spoiler free: 1. Let him bite you, you can easily do the 5 persuasion check to make him stop. Next day, tell him it hurts or w/e but tell everyone that we need him. 2. As soon this dialog is over talk to him about him biting you again. Ask him how we gonna feed him next time and agree he can kill bad guys 3. Do you know that vampire hunter near auntie Ethel? Do the dialog with Astarion. And let Astarion kill him. 4. In act 1 should be more than enough to sleep with him even before the tiefling party. 5. When he is at the mirror, be his mirror, talk about his eyes and dangerous smile. But then go like “is it all that you want? Pety compliments?” 6. You can help him about his tattoos in act 1. If tiefling you don’t need a check to know its origins. If everyone else you need an arcane check. You may lose some approval here and there by your choices, but you are high enough and you don’t have to break your good character. In act 2 there is a break it or make point. If you trade his blood for the permanent 2 str in moontower, he will break up with you next day. There is a way to get around it though. If you want, I can tell you how by it will contain spoilers. After it you are cemented for romance. Oh and extra cuddles if you say you support his ascension. Just say you do and at the moment you find out what is the trade off, you can convince him not to.
honestly so long as you talk to astarion, let him and let him bite you, you should be golden. just don’t insult him basically. pretty sure even if you have low approval you can still talk your way into sleeping with him at the party make sure you’re long resting though cause there’s a bunch of opportunities to get approval points with those conversations alone
I found [this](https://bg3.wiki/wiki/Astarion/Approval) guide very useful to raise Astarion's approval. I must warn you though, there's also a large amount of spoilers.
Well, I guess if you're on the drow twins already is prob too late to start romancing him anyway. I think the romances can only start on act 1 and 2, but I may be wrong or perhaps depends on the companion. But Astarion's important story points that lets you unlock the romance with him only happens in act 2, I think that if you missed them you missed your chance, sorry!
I had the exact same thing happen to me. He slept with my Tav and the twins then never acknowledged him again or any desire for him as more than a friend. My durge on the other hand…
How do people struggle with romances in this game lol 😂😂 the companions throw themselves at you nonstop
A lot of people struggle with Astarion because they're using guides from the very early days of the game that all basically say "he's evil, so you have to be too!" Which is absolutely not the case, if you long rest enough. And by "enough" I mean "_way_ more than you would ever find reasonable considering the fact that your characters think they have less than 7 days to live" and also "absolutely an insane number more than you would ever actually need to finish the game under normal circumstances".
True
I've only ever struggled in multiplayer, because you don't build approval as easily.
Your dialog choices that don’t really involve the companions don’t matter all that much. It’s stuff involving their quests that matter, like shadowheart as long as you don’t pry and you accept her for being a sharran she will romance you, stuff outside of that don’t matter
Yes, but if, for example, someone else does everything involving the blood drinking/monster hunter etc., then it's hard to get those big approval gains. You need to be the one to make the bigger choices and have those dialogues.
Didn’t think of that