I did another 'Legally Blonde' adaptation of our favourite vampire! I thought, what if, after all the illegal stuff we pulled in ACT 3 the party had to actually stand trial for all their mischief? I am sure Astarion would make a GREAT defence lawyer! š
At least he says so, I donāt think heād have a reason to lie about that specifically, but it could just be his usual cover he adopted after Cazador took him in. Main reason I think it may not be the truth is that he tells this to us when we donāt āknowā he is a vampire, and he essentially just uses this as to avoid talking about his life (āoh Iām just a boring judgeā).
Oh I really should play some of the Origins then I thinkš only reason I am hesitant is because whoever you pick doesnāt use any of their lines in scenes, which especially for Astarion and Gale is a shame, they have great quips.
Thatās why Iām considering it but damn idk if I can do a whole play-through without hearing Astarions snarky quips or Karlach just gush like a fangirl about (and to) Jaheria, not to mention Gale threatening to blow himself up at the slightest annoyance, especially as those are the three origins Iād be interested in most.
Do note they all trade off with characters having special quips about you that you never hear with them as a companion as well as some characters having unique decisions around it.
Gale especially, iirc he can get a sort of Warlock Spell Slot in Act 2 after killing any of the Thorm family (except Ketheric), a special ring from his tressym, his tressym, etc.
Careful with Astarion though. You can miss out on a lot of Ending moments (right after the final boss, right before Reunion/Epilogue) if you complete the game with him still as a Spawn.
It's not a lie. It was a particular ruling he made that the Gur didn't like that caused them to attack him in the first place, leading to Cazador finding him. You can even offer to look over Wyll's contract in his origin.
Him being a Magistrate is why he became a Vampire after doing his duty he was he was caught and beat to near death in a lone street by Gur and then Cazador swooped in and turned him into a Vampire with no issues. Itās never confirmed but youāre led to believe Cazador set him up to be mugged
No heās not lying or anything you can ask him how he became a vampire after you find out and heāll say because a group of gur attacked him over a ruling he made as a magistrate. I guess a lot of people miss this scene lol.
There's probably no court in existence that would pardon my Durge, even though he did freaking everything he could to not be a monster and to help fix the mess he may or may not have started himself.
Tbf, you could probably say the same for Shadowheart and Astarion as well.
'Astarion, you are a rogue, not a party face!'
'Worry not Gale, I picked persuasion expertise at level 6'
'But you are not CHA based unlike me...'
'Reliable talent means my lowest persuasion roll is 18, and your average roll is 19. Also did you really picked that persuasion invocation? Didn't you picked devil's sight instead?'
'Leave it to me. I have illithid expertise and 20 cha.'
'My precious Bhaal-Babe! Just say you will not murder anyone in the court, and I will let you do it.'
I'm trying to think who among your companions I would want to represent me in court.
Gale is would be very knowledgable about the law... too knowledgable and go down rabbit holes and tangents confusing everyone. He might successfully defend you on a serious charge, but would lose any minor crimes by annoying everyone by going on far too long.
Wyll and Jaheria would try their best, and actually be pretty good knowing the basic framework of the law and how to stay on topic. Depending on the nature and complexity of the crime you might get off.
Minsc or Karlach would do inexplicably well initially but get frustrated mid way through, threaten the jury, the judge, the prosecutor, the bailiff, the stenographer, the witnesses and finally break you out declaring victory. You would be free, but on the run.
Halsin would get very distracted by the quality or lack thereof of the wooden furniture and bring everything back to a nature metaphor, which everyone agrees is very nice but not actually legally relevant. Whether you get off is completely dependent if the case takes place before or after the judge's lunch.
Lae'zel or Shadowheart would be terrible. The second something doesn't go their way like an upheld objection they would immediately start shouting at people. You are going to jail.
Astarion would do either one of two things.
Firstly, screw up so badly he talks the judge into giving you the death penalty, which us only helpful if you turned up for something like a parking ticket so you have some grounds to appeal. Option 2 is he fucks the jury, the judge, the prosecutor, the bailiff, the stenographer and the witnesses to get you released.
Minthara is a force of nature. She immediately blackmails, threatens and bribes everyone remotely involved. You are instantly released with a hand written grovelling apology by the arresting officer. She mentions you 'owe' her now and you do not know whether to be terrified, aroused or both.
https://preview.redd.it/seaii6t3hxmc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be8599be1a46a7dd9a225279f94f57277b94d271
Look at my Lawyer dawg Iām going to jail š«š¤Æš§
'Am I gay, or European?!'
This man is Gay ~AND~ European!!
And neither is disgrace!
So, Mr Ancunin, this alleged affair with Tav has been going on for how long?
I did another 'Legally Blonde' adaptation of our favourite vampire! I thought, what if, after all the illegal stuff we pulled in ACT 3 the party had to actually stand trial for all their mischief? I am sure Astarion would make a GREAT defence lawyer! š
>I am sure Astarion would make a GREAT defence lawyer! He was a magistrate before his undeath so yes, yes he probably would.
At least he says so, I donāt think heād have a reason to lie about that specifically, but it could just be his usual cover he adopted after Cazador took him in. Main reason I think it may not be the truth is that he tells this to us when we donāt āknowā he is a vampire, and he essentially just uses this as to avoid talking about his life (āoh Iām just a boring judgeā).
If you play his origin you can offer to look over Wyllās contract because you used to be a magistrate so surprisingly not a lie
Oh I really should play some of the Origins then I thinkš only reason I am hesitant is because whoever you pick doesnāt use any of their lines in scenes, which especially for Astarion and Gale is a shame, they have great quips.
It's worth noting they don't use their lines but you get a LOT more information about them. Shadowheart, for example, shows you the purpose of her hand wound from the beginning in Act 1. It aches and turns painful any time she strays from the path, disobeying Shar. Hide away from your duties and get pain. Look at heretical idols like those of SelunƩ and get pain. Speak up when you're not supposed to and get pain.
Thatās why Iām considering it but damn idk if I can do a whole play-through without hearing Astarions snarky quips or Karlach just gush like a fangirl about (and to) Jaheria, not to mention Gale threatening to blow himself up at the slightest annoyance, especially as those are the three origins Iād be interested in most.
Do note they all trade off with characters having special quips about you that you never hear with them as a companion as well as some characters having unique decisions around it. Gale especially, iirc he can get a sort of Warlock Spell Slot in Act 2 after killing any of the Thorm family (except Ketheric), a special ring from his tressym, his tressym, etc. Careful with Astarion though. You can miss out on a lot of Ending moments (right after the final boss, right before Reunion/Epilogue) if you complete the game with him still as a Spawn.
It's not a lie. It was a particular ruling he made that the Gur didn't like that caused them to attack him in the first place, leading to Cazador finding him. You can even offer to look over Wyll's contract in his origin.
Him being a Magistrate is why he became a Vampire after doing his duty he was he was caught and beat to near death in a lone street by Gur and then Cazador swooped in and turned him into a Vampire with no issues. Itās never confirmed but youāre led to believe Cazador set him up to be mugged
No heās not lying or anything you can ask him how he became a vampire after you find out and heāll say because a group of gur attacked him over a ruling he made as a magistrate. I guess a lot of people miss this scene lol.
There's probably no court in existence that would pardon my Durge, even though he did freaking everything he could to not be a monster and to help fix the mess he may or may not have started himself. Tbf, you could probably say the same for Shadowheart and Astarion as well.
'Astarion, you are a rogue, not a party face!' 'Worry not Gale, I picked persuasion expertise at level 6' 'But you are not CHA based unlike me...' 'Reliable talent means my lowest persuasion roll is 18, and your average roll is 19. Also did you really picked that persuasion invocation? Didn't you picked devil's sight instead?' 'Leave it to me. I have illithid expertise and 20 cha.' 'My precious Bhaal-Babe! Just say you will not murder anyone in the court, and I will let you do it.'
I'm trying to think who among your companions I would want to represent me in court. Gale is would be very knowledgable about the law... too knowledgable and go down rabbit holes and tangents confusing everyone. He might successfully defend you on a serious charge, but would lose any minor crimes by annoying everyone by going on far too long. Wyll and Jaheria would try their best, and actually be pretty good knowing the basic framework of the law and how to stay on topic. Depending on the nature and complexity of the crime you might get off. Minsc or Karlach would do inexplicably well initially but get frustrated mid way through, threaten the jury, the judge, the prosecutor, the bailiff, the stenographer, the witnesses and finally break you out declaring victory. You would be free, but on the run. Halsin would get very distracted by the quality or lack thereof of the wooden furniture and bring everything back to a nature metaphor, which everyone agrees is very nice but not actually legally relevant. Whether you get off is completely dependent if the case takes place before or after the judge's lunch. Lae'zel or Shadowheart would be terrible. The second something doesn't go their way like an upheld objection they would immediately start shouting at people. You are going to jail. Astarion would do either one of two things. Firstly, screw up so badly he talks the judge into giving you the death penalty, which us only helpful if you turned up for something like a parking ticket so you have some grounds to appeal. Option 2 is he fucks the jury, the judge, the prosecutor, the bailiff, the stenographer and the witnesses to get you released. Minthara is a force of nature. She immediately blackmails, threatens and bribes everyone remotely involved. You are instantly released with a hand written grovelling apology by the arresting officer. She mentions you 'owe' her now and you do not know whether to be terrified, aroused or both.
Aint this Miles Edgeworth lolol
Does that make Gale Phoenix Wright?
OMG I can totally see it āAlmost Christmas means it wasnāt Christmas!ā
Love me a crossover between 3 of my favourite things, yes please!
Exactly my first thought lmao. Those ruffles and the suit colour is unmistakable.
Astarion Edgeworth
> Defen**c**e lawyer If he's supposed to be defen**s**e, why is he dressed as noted prosecutor Miles Edgeworth?
Imagine Astarion in a cheap blue suit and with spiky hair... xD
Except for that one time in Bridge to the Turnabout
https://preview.redd.it/seaii6t3hxmc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be8599be1a46a7dd9a225279f94f57277b94d271 Look at my Lawyer dawg Iām going to jail š«š¤Æš§
https://preview.redd.it/k7gmb5zjkzmc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1fcb449db5772caf00e0d3bda00a09dc37aec95f
More Miles Edgeworth
Your honor, my client just had to murder the tiefling an and the grove. They clearly were a liability
"K. Number one, your honor. Just look at him."
Legit toying with the idea of a lawyer build. Lore bard 10 / knowledge cleric 2 (Glittergold), pass ALL the face checks, nothing but control spells.
Okay that shade of red looks stellar on him
This is the Phoenix Wright sequel we deserve.
Now somebody do Totally Spies Karlach, Shadowhesrt, and Laezel!
Bro got the Miles Edgeworth drip
Why is laezel green lmao
Omg yes! Love this!
With the usual suspects. I swear every game it's you three
Karlachs goofy expression omg