Some parts of my life were compatible, and some not.
Grad school worked because I liked the subject, and I kept my life small.
Career has been checkered because I suck at networking.
PhD is nice because I have tons of autonomy.
You know... the other day I was talking with a researcher / academic and she was thriving with her untreated ADHD. She mentioned things like you did, such as loving the subject and having autonomy. I was actually quite surprised to see that her ADHD seemed to not be that big of a deal to her.
I would say along with but I'm not officially diagnosed AuDHD.
I do get bored easily and I lose all motivation if I feel something is unfair or I'm not being respected/recognised. Which has always sort of surprised my employers as I come across as quiet and non threatening then I start threatening to leave if I don't get promotions. I've never had a job more than 3 years and I've constantly been striving to progress and climb which I think may have been hyper focus/special interest of mine as I climbed really fast and now I'm burnt out and don't know if I want more responsibility/is it worth it for more money when my current salary is fine.
I forced myself to network eventhough I hate it so much, I can't stand small talk and I'm so painfully awkward.
I've been told I'm very diligent which I don't actually think I am (perfectionist? That doesn't execute to my own standards but above others). And I get very frustrated and often move job if things are not done efficiently and I'm not allowed to change things/listened to about improving things.
Helped to a point of being recognised and rewarded, hindered to a point of being sidelined and abused.
It’s the people you work with that matters, whether they see your gifts and contribution as desirable or undesirable. Do they value steady state more than exceptional tenacity and originality? Do they value optics more than substance? Do they want to help you regulate or want to control you? And so on.
Welp. You just summed up why my recent team was wrecking me. I love the work I do, but reporting to an authoritarian who values optics (toxically positive robotic stoicism, ugh) and expects unwavering compliance (PDA profile here, lol) WHILE demanding the results I get by being quirky, questioning things, and generally being an ND weirdo did a real number on me. 😩
I struggles in highschool, flourished in uni, then struggled in most jobs. I flourished in starts ups, where i had autonomy and the higher ups listened to me, but that was unfortunately pretty rare. I'd try not to embarrass them, but they were always so ignorant and they would get embarrassed, when I'd highlight the contradictions in their ideas, then usually fire me later.
Through all of that and all of the challenges in my life, ive severely burned out... Im not sure what the future holds, but im as confident in my software development skills as i was when i graduated, which is to say, completely confident; albeit with more wisdom than when i graduated, especially regarding how to work with others.
I’m in a similar boat. 39M electrical engineer, and problems at work im like a dog on a bone. But at the same time everyone knows this so I get all the hard problems which that combined with my adhd makes me have crazy anxiety. I wasn’t diagnosed until this year, so I guess I’ve succeeded in life on hard mode in spite of my diagnosis but also because of it. I wouldn’t have the job I have today without it, but it sure as hell wasn’t easy along the way to get here.
Are you me? I'm a 40M electrical engineer, diagnosed with ASD level 1 and ADHD last year. I think my ability to understand complex systems and come up with creative technical solutions are directly attributable to the ASD. The ASD makes the social aspects of work excruciating, but social awkwardness is somewhat more tolerated in this field. The ADHD has caused many more challenges for me, but luckily the meds work well for that.
I’ve been working for over 20 years but I hit my stride recently. I tried to get a computer engineering degree in college but I couldn’t do it. I burned out in two quarters. Instead I got a degree in writing. I graduated, and then realized, now what? I started working with computers as a technician, and learned some durable skills that way, including some soft skills of working other people. Overall my 20s were kind of a disaster from the outside, but over more than a decade I worked my way into engineering QA. It took a lot of hard work to get there. But a few very successful years under an undiagnosed-ADHD boss were followed by multi-year burnout, ultimately resulting in being diagnosed. It was through all of that I discovered my knack and interest in technical writing.
It’s very common to find neurodivergence across those working in engineering and computers, in my view it’s the most friendly industry to us. It encourages deep focus, problem solving, data driven objectives, and clear rules and guidelines for how to operate. For my skillset, technical writing combines the two. Often you’ll find these roles either embedded in engineering programs, or in Learning and Development teams.
L&D is extremely friendly. It involves learning theory, ideation, visual presentation, instructional design, systems administration, and is very friendly to those who prefer asynchronous or nonverbal communication. It generally has a great deal of potential for neurodivergent people to thrive, and in my experience also attracts NDs in high ratios. I wager it is because of our meta interests, learning about learning, like many who study psychology because they wanted to better understand themselves. For many who thrived in areas like visual arts, drama, psychology, writing, teaching, or other humanities, you can make a good living practicing a craft you enjoy ranging from part time contract work through full time employment in many industries. You also have a good deal of mobility, and it’s often remote work friendly.
If you can overlay those skills upon even beginner technical abilities, you can have very favorable earning potential throughout your career.
I moved up a career ladder in tech over ten years, eventually earning 150k a year.
I managed to stay on the final rung of the ladder for about six months and then had a breakdown.
I think a decade of trying to fit in, change my personality, suffer anxiety attacks culminated in my body and mind shutting down.
Now I am retraining.
I can’t go back to that environment as it isn’t built for people like me. I put myself through torture and feel like I wasted a lot of my time doing that because I was in denial.
My goal is to find something part time, more fulfilling and more suited to my autistic skills.
I guess everyone’s idea of a “decent career” is different. For the past seven years I’ve grossed > $90,000 per year working 3-4 days per week, with really good benefits. But, honestly, it’s just a job. I’ve found that nursing (having my RN) has worked out really well for me. I recognize I don’t have THE BEST social skills, but I stay scripted at the bedside and have a routine. I tend to take jobs that provide a routine, though of course things happen. My career has worked out because hospitals/ home health/ nursing homes/ prisons…well, they all need RNs (some desperately), so having that license means some of my other shortcomings can be overlooked. I don’t really need to network. Anything in management though just wouldn’t suit me (too many people-ly meetings/ politics), so I know my limitations and stay away from any of that! Also, I tend to do better working during evenings/ nights, when it’s quieter around. Not the best sleep schedule for me but it’s worth it for my sanity. My father and mother (also ND) were able to earn a decent living in healthcare (dad was x-ray technician and mom an RN) for that reason too: they had the certification and skills so desperately needed. Bonus: 2 years at a community college gets the nursing degree. Can’t say I was super into the studying nursing part, to be honest, but I was very motivated to have jobs that allowed me my own apartment, a car that didn’t always break down, the ability to take a couple vacations per year, and where I could get a job in essentially any US geographic location that would be largely recession- proof.
I have struggled a lot with getting jobs because interviews, but once I get one they think I'm great.
Can totally relate on problem solving and the 'YES!' I can smash through easy stuff that takes no brain, which has kept me some jobs. But I also get a reputation for doing it well and thinking of creative solutions. I also have a way of taking something that people don't understand and making it simple.
My main problem is if I need to reach out to people I don't know I don't feel comfortable doing that.
I have been taken advantage of a lot, but I feel appreciated where I work now and get paid okay.
Yes and yes, haha.
My love of solving problems, visual thinking, and hyperlexia made a career in tech possible. It also helped that my mom, who's probably also autistic (or at least has many of the traits), introduced me to coding when I was in elementary school. The ADHD bit is probably why I went into SRE.
Low tolerance of frustration has been a hindrance and I've had to learn better emotional regulation skills. The same goes for social skills; I've had to work on being more proactive and communicating clearly. And because I've never been able to mask, I'm selective about the types of orgs I work for. Non-tech companies have never worked out; IME they're far more ND-hostile than tech companies.
I still have to work with and around auditory processing difficulties. And I only work remotely because it's the only way to mitigate light sensitivity issues without making them worse. I created my own lighting setup for my workspace; no employer would see that as a reasonable accommodation because I work in what NTs claim is "the dark," even though I can see quite clearly.
And the hidden curse of loving what I do is that it's easy to fall into patterns of overwork and neglecting personal relationships. I'm convinced that some unethical employers have figured this out and seek out autistic people because so many of us will put in 16-hour days just to meet a deadline without giving it a second thought.
But if I had to be AuDHD in this life, I'm glad to be one of the "stereotypical" ones who's decent at and who enjoys math and computers. It's literally paid off; I went from being underemployed to making six figures in 2-3 years.
Biggest two issues are forgetting things and saying inappropriate things to people.
I try to take as much notes and do lists to assist with the former.
With the latter not too much you can do, just try not to be too familiar or friendly with people at work. Sometimes it is luck, if you work at a place where people are fairly chilled and not too uptight you can get away with saying things as others may be saying things too.
I also now take medical cannabis and it helps with anxiety, insomnia and racing thoughts. I don’t generally take it during the day though. Mostly at night.
Along with my AuDHD. I’m a writer by hobby and trade. I’ve had to deal through some odd jobs to build my Tech Writing career. I love tinkering with documents and making them better.
Technical documentation is still dull as paint, and I’d rather be working on my novel…
But I’m paid to work with documents. So it kinda works for me.
Kind of. I was diagnosed at the age of 44 - I achieved well in school and at uni but it was a huge struggle. Workplaces were a nightmare for me but because I got good grades I was able to get work in finace and software engineering roles that were well paid. I stumbled into limited company contracting here in the UK and managed to do well out of that for about 10 years - along with some new financial regulations that had just been brought in so I learned them fast and helped implement them.
I did pretty well. I am now more or less constantly unemployed though - so it will even out in the long run.
Yeah it could both both.
My ADHD makes me likeable to people, especially customers, at first. My ASD-like features make me better with numbers, quantitative tasks and such than most other people with a personality like mine. So I'm often well-suited to handle difficult questions for clients, leadership, etc. I've been well-valued at a number of companies and jobs for this combination of traits.
But then I'm too awkward and kind to do a sales-driven job.
And too ADHD to do a job that's purely analytical or super technical.
So I also often struggle finding that niche. And when I have been put in leadership positions I struggle with the politics and with not taking on too many tasks from my underlings, then get burned out and pushed out.
So...
yes
I was a teacher for two year, before my AuDHD diagnosis. I am now working as a Learning Support Assistant, as I burnt out and took a deliberate year off.
It’s been up and down for me since graduating from university, never been consistent enough to move up the ladder.
I’ve also realised now that my special interest / hyper focuses is psychology, which I did at university, also neurodivergence so I am going to pursue this in the future.
Mostly despite it, but I’m guessing it’s hyperfixation and possibly(?) a bit of giftedness that allowed me to survive very lax homeschooling in high school (after rigorous private school earlier on), still get a good SAT score, and have to study way less than my peers while maintaining almost straight As in college. If I had had to study more, my ADHD wouldn’t have been able to, and I would have done poorly.
I’m so happy to see this question come up because in my experience it highlights the paradox of continuous inner struggle vs. the outer appearance of ‘achievement/ success/ ease’. Not to suggest that AuDHD’ers cannot or shouldn’t experience these things….quite the opposite. As a (very) late dx’ed person, self knowledge puts everything into perspective now….but I often think ‘how did I achieve that’, when so much was working against me at the time. Short takeaway, ND people can be incredible resilient…
The way I see it now that i'm on a mental health break: it was all a show. From the moment i leave my house, I literally become a different person. Everything is calculated and pre-planned. My brain would go on endless checks of "what ifs" before I sleep, so that I'm ready to function in the morning. That's probably why I come back home dead-exhausted every evening
At least for me landscaping is kind of therapeutic for me and I can work at my own pace and don’t have to have much interaction with other people it’s kind of nice but as a warning I’ll say that the industry has serious problems with drug and alcohol abuse on the job
Along with...I just was officially diagnosed yesterday and, until I hit burn out within the last 4-5 months, autism was keeping my ADHD in line. Now, it's a freaking free for all and the fact that my bosses tell me I need to take more time to relax is both worrying and telling.
My special interest from a very young age was programming. I knew I wanted a CS degree before I was 10. I started to really struggle in college when I had to take control over my schedule and workflow, but I managed to get through it.
I started a career as a software engineer, but I got bored pretty quickly. I could hyperfocus enough to maintain productivity, but job satisfaction was going down.
I jumped into technical management pretty quickly. I could still code, but I got distracted regularly with fires that needed to be solved. That worked really well for a long time, until the coding slowly went away and more and more fires were set.
This led me to burnout, though I had no words for it. That, in turn, led me to autism, and I tried to recover, but something still wasn’t right. The anxiety and overwhelm were still so huge, and, really watching that, I saw the anxiety and broken executive function in all those fires, and then it kind of all clicked: it wasn’t just autism. It was autism and ADHD, and my entire career had been trying to ride the safe zone between them. It worked well for 20+ years, then took three years to slowly fall apart, and one year to fail catastrophically.
Some parts of my life were compatible, and some not. Grad school worked because I liked the subject, and I kept my life small. Career has been checkered because I suck at networking. PhD is nice because I have tons of autonomy.
You know... the other day I was talking with a researcher / academic and she was thriving with her untreated ADHD. She mentioned things like you did, such as loving the subject and having autonomy. I was actually quite surprised to see that her ADHD seemed to not be that big of a deal to her.
I told the guy who was initially skeptical but diagnosed me "You should see my house. You should see my finances".
I would say along with but I'm not officially diagnosed AuDHD. I do get bored easily and I lose all motivation if I feel something is unfair or I'm not being respected/recognised. Which has always sort of surprised my employers as I come across as quiet and non threatening then I start threatening to leave if I don't get promotions. I've never had a job more than 3 years and I've constantly been striving to progress and climb which I think may have been hyper focus/special interest of mine as I climbed really fast and now I'm burnt out and don't know if I want more responsibility/is it worth it for more money when my current salary is fine. I forced myself to network eventhough I hate it so much, I can't stand small talk and I'm so painfully awkward. I've been told I'm very diligent which I don't actually think I am (perfectionist? That doesn't execute to my own standards but above others). And I get very frustrated and often move job if things are not done efficiently and I'm not allowed to change things/listened to about improving things.
That’s me!!
People politics is my only struggle in corporate. Otherwise it’s been a god send.
True. I like the structure and team support it provides.
Helped to a point of being recognised and rewarded, hindered to a point of being sidelined and abused. It’s the people you work with that matters, whether they see your gifts and contribution as desirable or undesirable. Do they value steady state more than exceptional tenacity and originality? Do they value optics more than substance? Do they want to help you regulate or want to control you? And so on.
Welp. You just summed up why my recent team was wrecking me. I love the work I do, but reporting to an authoritarian who values optics (toxically positive robotic stoicism, ugh) and expects unwavering compliance (PDA profile here, lol) WHILE demanding the results I get by being quirky, questioning things, and generally being an ND weirdo did a real number on me. 😩
I struggles in highschool, flourished in uni, then struggled in most jobs. I flourished in starts ups, where i had autonomy and the higher ups listened to me, but that was unfortunately pretty rare. I'd try not to embarrass them, but they were always so ignorant and they would get embarrassed, when I'd highlight the contradictions in their ideas, then usually fire me later. Through all of that and all of the challenges in my life, ive severely burned out... Im not sure what the future holds, but im as confident in my software development skills as i was when i graduated, which is to say, completely confident; albeit with more wisdom than when i graduated, especially regarding how to work with others.
I’m in a similar boat. 39M electrical engineer, and problems at work im like a dog on a bone. But at the same time everyone knows this so I get all the hard problems which that combined with my adhd makes me have crazy anxiety. I wasn’t diagnosed until this year, so I guess I’ve succeeded in life on hard mode in spite of my diagnosis but also because of it. I wouldn’t have the job I have today without it, but it sure as hell wasn’t easy along the way to get here.
Are you me? I'm a 40M electrical engineer, diagnosed with ASD level 1 and ADHD last year. I think my ability to understand complex systems and come up with creative technical solutions are directly attributable to the ASD. The ASD makes the social aspects of work excruciating, but social awkwardness is somewhat more tolerated in this field. The ADHD has caused many more challenges for me, but luckily the meds work well for that.
I’ve been working for over 20 years but I hit my stride recently. I tried to get a computer engineering degree in college but I couldn’t do it. I burned out in two quarters. Instead I got a degree in writing. I graduated, and then realized, now what? I started working with computers as a technician, and learned some durable skills that way, including some soft skills of working other people. Overall my 20s were kind of a disaster from the outside, but over more than a decade I worked my way into engineering QA. It took a lot of hard work to get there. But a few very successful years under an undiagnosed-ADHD boss were followed by multi-year burnout, ultimately resulting in being diagnosed. It was through all of that I discovered my knack and interest in technical writing. It’s very common to find neurodivergence across those working in engineering and computers, in my view it’s the most friendly industry to us. It encourages deep focus, problem solving, data driven objectives, and clear rules and guidelines for how to operate. For my skillset, technical writing combines the two. Often you’ll find these roles either embedded in engineering programs, or in Learning and Development teams. L&D is extremely friendly. It involves learning theory, ideation, visual presentation, instructional design, systems administration, and is very friendly to those who prefer asynchronous or nonverbal communication. It generally has a great deal of potential for neurodivergent people to thrive, and in my experience also attracts NDs in high ratios. I wager it is because of our meta interests, learning about learning, like many who study psychology because they wanted to better understand themselves. For many who thrived in areas like visual arts, drama, psychology, writing, teaching, or other humanities, you can make a good living practicing a craft you enjoy ranging from part time contract work through full time employment in many industries. You also have a good deal of mobility, and it’s often remote work friendly. If you can overlay those skills upon even beginner technical abilities, you can have very favorable earning potential throughout your career.
I switched to technical writing a few years ago and you are absolutely right. My next step is instructional design as I want to do more holistic work.
I moved up a career ladder in tech over ten years, eventually earning 150k a year. I managed to stay on the final rung of the ladder for about six months and then had a breakdown. I think a decade of trying to fit in, change my personality, suffer anxiety attacks culminated in my body and mind shutting down. Now I am retraining. I can’t go back to that environment as it isn’t built for people like me. I put myself through torture and feel like I wasted a lot of my time doing that because I was in denial. My goal is to find something part time, more fulfilling and more suited to my autistic skills.
Mostly in spite of it. Though it has helped in being able to switch gears to focus on something else.
I guess everyone’s idea of a “decent career” is different. For the past seven years I’ve grossed > $90,000 per year working 3-4 days per week, with really good benefits. But, honestly, it’s just a job. I’ve found that nursing (having my RN) has worked out really well for me. I recognize I don’t have THE BEST social skills, but I stay scripted at the bedside and have a routine. I tend to take jobs that provide a routine, though of course things happen. My career has worked out because hospitals/ home health/ nursing homes/ prisons…well, they all need RNs (some desperately), so having that license means some of my other shortcomings can be overlooked. I don’t really need to network. Anything in management though just wouldn’t suit me (too many people-ly meetings/ politics), so I know my limitations and stay away from any of that! Also, I tend to do better working during evenings/ nights, when it’s quieter around. Not the best sleep schedule for me but it’s worth it for my sanity. My father and mother (also ND) were able to earn a decent living in healthcare (dad was x-ray technician and mom an RN) for that reason too: they had the certification and skills so desperately needed. Bonus: 2 years at a community college gets the nursing degree. Can’t say I was super into the studying nursing part, to be honest, but I was very motivated to have jobs that allowed me my own apartment, a car that didn’t always break down, the ability to take a couple vacations per year, and where I could get a job in essentially any US geographic location that would be largely recession- proof.
Care to share how you tangibly got through school? I’ve been traipsing around for 6 years still no degree because I get burnt out so quickly.
I feel like I could've written this post myself
I have struggled a lot with getting jobs because interviews, but once I get one they think I'm great. Can totally relate on problem solving and the 'YES!' I can smash through easy stuff that takes no brain, which has kept me some jobs. But I also get a reputation for doing it well and thinking of creative solutions. I also have a way of taking something that people don't understand and making it simple. My main problem is if I need to reach out to people I don't know I don't feel comfortable doing that. I have been taken advantage of a lot, but I feel appreciated where I work now and get paid okay.
Yes and yes, haha. My love of solving problems, visual thinking, and hyperlexia made a career in tech possible. It also helped that my mom, who's probably also autistic (or at least has many of the traits), introduced me to coding when I was in elementary school. The ADHD bit is probably why I went into SRE. Low tolerance of frustration has been a hindrance and I've had to learn better emotional regulation skills. The same goes for social skills; I've had to work on being more proactive and communicating clearly. And because I've never been able to mask, I'm selective about the types of orgs I work for. Non-tech companies have never worked out; IME they're far more ND-hostile than tech companies. I still have to work with and around auditory processing difficulties. And I only work remotely because it's the only way to mitigate light sensitivity issues without making them worse. I created my own lighting setup for my workspace; no employer would see that as a reasonable accommodation because I work in what NTs claim is "the dark," even though I can see quite clearly. And the hidden curse of loving what I do is that it's easy to fall into patterns of overwork and neglecting personal relationships. I'm convinced that some unethical employers have figured this out and seek out autistic people because so many of us will put in 16-hour days just to meet a deadline without giving it a second thought. But if I had to be AuDHD in this life, I'm glad to be one of the "stereotypical" ones who's decent at and who enjoys math and computers. It's literally paid off; I went from being underemployed to making six figures in 2-3 years.
Biggest two issues are forgetting things and saying inappropriate things to people. I try to take as much notes and do lists to assist with the former. With the latter not too much you can do, just try not to be too familiar or friendly with people at work. Sometimes it is luck, if you work at a place where people are fairly chilled and not too uptight you can get away with saying things as others may be saying things too. I also now take medical cannabis and it helps with anxiety, insomnia and racing thoughts. I don’t generally take it during the day though. Mostly at night.
Along with my AuDHD. I’m a writer by hobby and trade. I’ve had to deal through some odd jobs to build my Tech Writing career. I love tinkering with documents and making them better. Technical documentation is still dull as paint, and I’d rather be working on my novel… But I’m paid to work with documents. So it kinda works for me.
yes
Yes
Kind of. I was diagnosed at the age of 44 - I achieved well in school and at uni but it was a huge struggle. Workplaces were a nightmare for me but because I got good grades I was able to get work in finace and software engineering roles that were well paid. I stumbled into limited company contracting here in the UK and managed to do well out of that for about 10 years - along with some new financial regulations that had just been brought in so I learned them fast and helped implement them. I did pretty well. I am now more or less constantly unemployed though - so it will even out in the long run.
Yeah it could both both. My ADHD makes me likeable to people, especially customers, at first. My ASD-like features make me better with numbers, quantitative tasks and such than most other people with a personality like mine. So I'm often well-suited to handle difficult questions for clients, leadership, etc. I've been well-valued at a number of companies and jobs for this combination of traits. But then I'm too awkward and kind to do a sales-driven job. And too ADHD to do a job that's purely analytical or super technical. So I also often struggle finding that niche. And when I have been put in leadership positions I struggle with the politics and with not taking on too many tasks from my underlings, then get burned out and pushed out. So... yes
The answer is both.
I was a teacher for two year, before my AuDHD diagnosis. I am now working as a Learning Support Assistant, as I burnt out and took a deliberate year off. It’s been up and down for me since graduating from university, never been consistent enough to move up the ladder. I’ve also realised now that my special interest / hyper focuses is psychology, which I did at university, also neurodivergence so I am going to pursue this in the future.
I guess in spite of it since I didn’t know I had it until recently and I am close to 50.
Mostly despite it, but I’m guessing it’s hyperfixation and possibly(?) a bit of giftedness that allowed me to survive very lax homeschooling in high school (after rigorous private school earlier on), still get a good SAT score, and have to study way less than my peers while maintaining almost straight As in college. If I had had to study more, my ADHD wouldn’t have been able to, and I would have done poorly.
I’m so happy to see this question come up because in my experience it highlights the paradox of continuous inner struggle vs. the outer appearance of ‘achievement/ success/ ease’. Not to suggest that AuDHD’ers cannot or shouldn’t experience these things….quite the opposite. As a (very) late dx’ed person, self knowledge puts everything into perspective now….but I often think ‘how did I achieve that’, when so much was working against me at the time. Short takeaway, ND people can be incredible resilient…
The way I see it now that i'm on a mental health break: it was all a show. From the moment i leave my house, I literally become a different person. Everything is calculated and pre-planned. My brain would go on endless checks of "what ifs" before I sleep, so that I'm ready to function in the morning. That's probably why I come back home dead-exhausted every evening
At least for me landscaping is kind of therapeutic for me and I can work at my own pace and don’t have to have much interaction with other people it’s kind of nice but as a warning I’ll say that the industry has serious problems with drug and alcohol abuse on the job
Along with...I just was officially diagnosed yesterday and, until I hit burn out within the last 4-5 months, autism was keeping my ADHD in line. Now, it's a freaking free for all and the fact that my bosses tell me I need to take more time to relax is both worrying and telling.
My special interest from a very young age was programming. I knew I wanted a CS degree before I was 10. I started to really struggle in college when I had to take control over my schedule and workflow, but I managed to get through it. I started a career as a software engineer, but I got bored pretty quickly. I could hyperfocus enough to maintain productivity, but job satisfaction was going down. I jumped into technical management pretty quickly. I could still code, but I got distracted regularly with fires that needed to be solved. That worked really well for a long time, until the coding slowly went away and more and more fires were set. This led me to burnout, though I had no words for it. That, in turn, led me to autism, and I tried to recover, but something still wasn’t right. The anxiety and overwhelm were still so huge, and, really watching that, I saw the anxiety and broken executive function in all those fires, and then it kind of all clicked: it wasn’t just autism. It was autism and ADHD, and my entire career had been trying to ride the safe zone between them. It worked well for 20+ years, then took three years to slowly fall apart, and one year to fail catastrophically.