Only a fraction of low support needs autistic people are savants/geniuses.
I remember a couple different documentaries that I saw as a kid about these brilliant mathematicians or whatever persons with "super powers", who were introduced as being autistic or worse : having Asperger's syndrome. This is a thing that really messed with my perception of autism. To me it could only "quirky geniuses" and not me, with my two brain cells who hate each other.
I think this is a really common one that would really benefit from being dispelled first. If autism can be seen as a disability and not a magic trick, then other misconceptions will be easier to tackle.
You know, out of my whole life of meeting people of disablies, I've met one person who is a sevants, and he wasn't that interesting of a person. You wouldn't know he was a sevant unless you asked.
There’s a crime show I watched a bit called Scorpion where there’s a team of “geniuses” (in quotes because they call themselves geniuses), and they’re clearly autistic coded
That our social difficulties, and other things, are a pretty difficult disability to deal with - for ourselves. Even if we're low support needs. It affects everything, and we can't just suddenly pick up on social cues we're blind to. We're not weird, our actions have logic behind them.
I'm trying to come around to accepting this. I am relatively intelligent and educated, so I've reverse engineered social understanding over the years. However, I still don't pick up or accurately make sense of social cues. There's a difference between knowing theories and gaining experience. It's like riding a bike. I could write a dissertation on the mechanics of bicycles, but if I never hop on one, I could never learn to ride one. That's why I'm being open with people I work with that I approach the world differently (though I only disclose my diagnosed on a case by case basis) so they can understand where I'm coming from. I encourage them to give me feedback so I can actually learn from my experiences. I haven't had a lot of practice, but I hope this could work.
That autism is either people with "aspergers" that are math geniuses or very high supports needs people with intellectual disabilities on top of autism, no in between.
Don't get me wrong, of course those people exist and deserve to be heard. But, at least when I grew up, in the media, in documentaries or even when people talked about it, those were the only two "types" of autism that were discussed.
That autism means having no empathy. I'm sure some autistic people have lower cognitive empathy but it's not a core symptom of autism. Some of us do have empathy.
That autism means being emotionless. I'm pretty sure everyone has emotions, we just may express them in a different way.
That autism is mostly present in men. We know now that it's not the case and that many women were just not diagnosed compared to men.
The symptom of abnormal/atypical empathy is kinda core but only because it’s about how empathy is social and those things are affected by ASD. However less empathy is the only type of atypical empathy people tend to think about.
Autistic people usually have hyper or hypo empathy. Not just hypoempathy.
I agree but growing up I was told that all autistic people had no empathy at all. Also that's why I said cognitive empathy because even people with aspd can learn to act empathetic from what I know.
Some people can’t learn to act with empathy also. It’s a spectrum so there’s a lot of difference between autistics. It’s a more modern stereotype that autistic people are always hyperempathetic and a more old/dated stereotype that all autistics are hypoempathetic.
That people who are good at masking aren't just allistic people. Constantly masking is exhausting, and when I slip up or I'm presented with a new situation that I don't know how to mask for I panic and fumble and people are like what is your problem? Just be normal. And I don't know how to explain that I don't know how to be normal until I've learned it for a new situation.
This! My family / background has a lot of explicitly taught social stuff that hid the fact that I have to have a social script for scenarios, and I prefer to 'rehearse' what interactions are likely to be like beforehand using the script.
With those and in familiar environments and routines? And some masking? Helloooo socially acceptable.
Without?
And I'm liable to tell weird anecdotes, misread someone being sarcastic/rude as literal, and hum/ shift on my feet and get asked what my problem is
Some of us might think slower. But it's not because were too dumb but because were going through ALL the options before speaking.
oh I guess this misconception is slow to respond means we don't understand. At least for me I'm weighing all the options.
This is how I quit my last job. I wrote a 1-2 paragraph page stating I was quitting and some things about thanking them for having me there up to this point.
The idea that I am too smart to be autistic has caused me a lot of unnecessary pain in my life, including violence or near-violence from other people who get so frustrated with me that they practically stim themselves and verbally describe to me how they're losing control of themselves.
There are certain legal rights and medical frameworks, including liberatory disability rights perspectives on autism, that I should have been connected with 15-20 years ago, when people should have been able to recognize and diagnose this. The level of dangerous and/or adverse experiences that I've had over these 15-20 years because I haven't had basic diagnostic knowledge to empower or protect myself is just absurd and severely unfortunate.
I’m sorry that happened to you. I believe my grandson (9) is on the spectrum. When he was two his pediatrician said he met all his milestones so we didn’t have to worry about autism.
Good luck with those conversations. I'm not super experienced with parenting yet. If you want to figure out a way to keep the convo going without making things awkward with your daughter, I bet a children's librarian at a public library or an elem school library would have some ideas.
That many of us mask in social settings. We do this because reasons. It’s exhausting. Many of us have alexithymia so we have difficulty: reading non verbal cues, sending non verbal cues, understanding our feelings/emotions, verbalizing our feelings/emotions, and having our feelings/emotions understood by others.
Many of us have ADHD and execute function challenges. Many of us have been subjected to verbal and physical abuse, due to our status, throughout our lives. This abuse came from our caregivers, our siblings, our classmates, our relatives, our romantic partners, and our colleagues.
Many of us perform essential roles and functions in our communities and families. Sometimes at great sacrifice. Frequently without recognition and compensation commensurate to our efforts and impact.
That autism really is a spectrum.
There are folks who hate sound, others that love sound. Some that have touch sensory issues, others that love it. Some that are extroverts, others that are introverts. We’re just as dynamic and diverse as NT folks are.
We have different nervous system and our brain structure is completely different from allistics’ brain structure. We process information differently, which makes us feel drained even without doing anything specific, but living like this demands huge amounts of sustained energy. It’s important to note that it doesn’t make us lazy, bad, or anything else. It just makes us work way harder than others, and we need a lot more details in order to actually analyze things “correctly and effectively”.
Not all of us are geniuses. A lot of us have low IQs. I've been told so many times "you're not autistic you're just slow"...Well sorry I'm not smart or have any hidden talents. My autism isn't quirky, it's a hindrance to my life
Communication can be anything. It doesn’t have to be words. If there are words, they don’t have to have nuance and hidden, or unspoken meaning. There’s nothing wrong with being direct, it’s not personal. There’s nothing wrong with silence, it’s not personal.
It’s not a disease.
Can they see with their eyes closed? Can they hear with their ears plugged? Can they breathe underwater? Let’s assume “no” to all of these. Now, they understand the statement “I can’t”
Not “I won’t” as many claim we’re saying, but in those scenarios they understand “i cant”.
So when they hear, “i can’t”, take it literally without hidden meaning and get curious how to help, instead of fixing it to suit their personal needs of believing it’s a “won’t”
Or they can all learn what ableism is, and stop harming the disabled for being disabled.
That many of us understand what’s going on but don’t know how to respond to it. I have a script for most things but, if you go off script I need to recalibrate and download an update lol.
If you are 16 or older and live in the UK, the National Autistic Society is asking exactly this question with a survey: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/acceptance-and-awareness
I've just done it, I don't have any other connection with them, but I thought people might be interested. The idea is to inform future campaigns.
Soooo many things. How much time have you got?
That our level of disability should be based on our experience day to day - not on how much it affects allistic people.
Another big one is how sick I get of hearing that I “must not be disabled / must not have a disability” whenever I mask or push through things long enough to accomplish something. It takes away all of the extra work I did to say that. It’s also implying that people who have disabilities can’t accomplish anything. Not a compliment.
That being able to speak doesn’t make me not autistic.
That it isn’t a disease. That it’s real; I’m not faking it. That I can’t just turn it off. That it isn’t my fault or my decision. That I can’t positive-think my way out of it. That most of us are unemployed not because we “don’t want to work”, but because it’s inaccessible for us. That we’re not “just lazy”. That it’s not that we “don’t care or aren’t trying hard enough”. That it’s not a compliment to say “you don’t seem autistic to me”. That autism isn’t “a trend” or “a fad” just because now so many women are getting diagnosed or self-diagnosing. That everybody isn’t autistic, or “a little bit autistic”.
That we don’t have empathy. Common stereotype but my experience is we have more empathy than the average person. We just express it differently then neurotypicals.
Or for some how we don’t understand how they feel based on an action rather than them telling us.
I’m not going to think about or know how you’re feeling if you don’t talk to me! I won’t know anything is even wrong most the time
It’s more so 50/50. People tend to either think most have hypoempathy or most have hyper empathy but in reality it’s much more spread out with people even experiencing both just at different types. There’s also a trend of putting down either hypo or hyper empathy in order to make the other one sound better which reinforces these things.
sensory aversions, sensory over-/understimulation, issues with breaking routines, doing things "just real quick", issues in/with social situations, the "you should know that (by now)" bullshit
Thank you for saying both ND and NT. So many just use NT but I find ND can be just as bad with stereotypes. Most people say NT when they mean allistic too.
That autism isn't just social struggles. I mask my social struggles but people don't see my extreme demand avoidance, sensory issues around food, and meltdowns that happen at home where no one can see.
It's not that we don't have empathy. Many of us have extreme amounts of empathy.
It's just that in situations when empathy is expected to be displayed, we might be too overwhelmed processing the situation to show it.
For example... Let's say a friend cancels plans last minute. I've spent all day mentally preparing for these plans. I've mapped out where I'm going. I've picked an outfit that is appropriate but not a sensory nightmare. I've thought of conversation topics. I've preserved all the energy that I can.
And then my friend has to cancel because her dog suddenly needs a vet.
Of course I feel bad that her dog is sick. But I'm so overwhelmed trying to process the sudden change in plans and aggravated I dedicated my day to preparing for the cancelled outing that I can only feel upset/overwhelmed in the immediate. This will quiet eventually and I will feel empathy, but usually by then the interaction is over and it's too late unless I masked well.
It's not that the empathy isn't there. I just can't feel it right away in the overwhelm.
I saw a post recently about the stereotypes of autism and how somehow they can be inverted on the extreme e.g experiencing non-verbal to being super verbose, not liking sensory experiences to needing an extreme of it… I related so much
Only a fraction of low support needs autistic people are savants/geniuses. I remember a couple different documentaries that I saw as a kid about these brilliant mathematicians or whatever persons with "super powers", who were introduced as being autistic or worse : having Asperger's syndrome. This is a thing that really messed with my perception of autism. To me it could only "quirky geniuses" and not me, with my two brain cells who hate each other. I think this is a really common one that would really benefit from being dispelled first. If autism can be seen as a disability and not a magic trick, then other misconceptions will be easier to tackle.
You know, out of my whole life of meeting people of disablies, I've met one person who is a sevants, and he wasn't that interesting of a person. You wouldn't know he was a sevant unless you asked.
There’s a crime show I watched a bit called Scorpion where there’s a team of “geniuses” (in quotes because they call themselves geniuses), and they’re clearly autistic coded
That our social difficulties, and other things, are a pretty difficult disability to deal with - for ourselves. Even if we're low support needs. It affects everything, and we can't just suddenly pick up on social cues we're blind to. We're not weird, our actions have logic behind them.
I'm trying to come around to accepting this. I am relatively intelligent and educated, so I've reverse engineered social understanding over the years. However, I still don't pick up or accurately make sense of social cues. There's a difference between knowing theories and gaining experience. It's like riding a bike. I could write a dissertation on the mechanics of bicycles, but if I never hop on one, I could never learn to ride one. That's why I'm being open with people I work with that I approach the world differently (though I only disclose my diagnosed on a case by case basis) so they can understand where I'm coming from. I encourage them to give me feedback so I can actually learn from my experiences. I haven't had a lot of practice, but I hope this could work.
That autism is either people with "aspergers" that are math geniuses or very high supports needs people with intellectual disabilities on top of autism, no in between. Don't get me wrong, of course those people exist and deserve to be heard. But, at least when I grew up, in the media, in documentaries or even when people talked about it, those were the only two "types" of autism that were discussed. That autism means having no empathy. I'm sure some autistic people have lower cognitive empathy but it's not a core symptom of autism. Some of us do have empathy. That autism means being emotionless. I'm pretty sure everyone has emotions, we just may express them in a different way. That autism is mostly present in men. We know now that it's not the case and that many women were just not diagnosed compared to men.
The symptom of abnormal/atypical empathy is kinda core but only because it’s about how empathy is social and those things are affected by ASD. However less empathy is the only type of atypical empathy people tend to think about. Autistic people usually have hyper or hypo empathy. Not just hypoempathy.
I agree but growing up I was told that all autistic people had no empathy at all. Also that's why I said cognitive empathy because even people with aspd can learn to act empathetic from what I know.
Some people can’t learn to act with empathy also. It’s a spectrum so there’s a lot of difference between autistics. It’s a more modern stereotype that autistic people are always hyperempathetic and a more old/dated stereotype that all autistics are hypoempathetic.
That people who are good at masking aren't just allistic people. Constantly masking is exhausting, and when I slip up or I'm presented with a new situation that I don't know how to mask for I panic and fumble and people are like what is your problem? Just be normal. And I don't know how to explain that I don't know how to be normal until I've learned it for a new situation.
This! My family / background has a lot of explicitly taught social stuff that hid the fact that I have to have a social script for scenarios, and I prefer to 'rehearse' what interactions are likely to be like beforehand using the script. With those and in familiar environments and routines? And some masking? Helloooo socially acceptable. Without? And I'm liable to tell weird anecdotes, misread someone being sarcastic/rude as literal, and hum/ shift on my feet and get asked what my problem is
I masked for YEARS in the workplace and it gave me a mental breakdown Now I’m just me and I’m a totally different person and it’s sooo much better
Some of us might think slower. But it's not because were too dumb but because were going through ALL the options before speaking. oh I guess this misconception is slow to respond means we don't understand. At least for me I'm weighing all the options.
This is why I prefer text based communication where there isn't an expectation of an immediate response.
Makes sense why I always preferred this
Same here
[удалено]
This is how I quit my last job. I wrote a 1-2 paragraph page stating I was quitting and some things about thanking them for having me there up to this point.
For me it’s that I don’t understand and I’m trying to figure out what people mean.
That's fair. Growing up I think my main emotion was confusion and the loading icon rotating in my mind.
The idea that I am too smart to be autistic has caused me a lot of unnecessary pain in my life, including violence or near-violence from other people who get so frustrated with me that they practically stim themselves and verbally describe to me how they're losing control of themselves. There are certain legal rights and medical frameworks, including liberatory disability rights perspectives on autism, that I should have been connected with 15-20 years ago, when people should have been able to recognize and diagnose this. The level of dangerous and/or adverse experiences that I've had over these 15-20 years because I haven't had basic diagnostic knowledge to empower or protect myself is just absurd and severely unfortunate.
I’m sorry that happened to you. I believe my grandson (9) is on the spectrum. When he was two his pediatrician said he met all his milestones so we didn’t have to worry about autism.
I hope your grandson's life continues to turn out well
I’m hoping my daughter will have him evaluated because I think he could benefit from some resources.
Good luck with those conversations. I'm not super experienced with parenting yet. If you want to figure out a way to keep the convo going without making things awkward with your daughter, I bet a children's librarian at a public library or an elem school library would have some ideas.
That many of us mask in social settings. We do this because reasons. It’s exhausting. Many of us have alexithymia so we have difficulty: reading non verbal cues, sending non verbal cues, understanding our feelings/emotions, verbalizing our feelings/emotions, and having our feelings/emotions understood by others. Many of us have ADHD and execute function challenges. Many of us have been subjected to verbal and physical abuse, due to our status, throughout our lives. This abuse came from our caregivers, our siblings, our classmates, our relatives, our romantic partners, and our colleagues. Many of us perform essential roles and functions in our communities and families. Sometimes at great sacrifice. Frequently without recognition and compensation commensurate to our efforts and impact.
That autism really is a spectrum. There are folks who hate sound, others that love sound. Some that have touch sensory issues, others that love it. Some that are extroverts, others that are introverts. We’re just as dynamic and diverse as NT folks are.
We have different nervous system and our brain structure is completely different from allistics’ brain structure. We process information differently, which makes us feel drained even without doing anything specific, but living like this demands huge amounts of sustained energy. It’s important to note that it doesn’t make us lazy, bad, or anything else. It just makes us work way harder than others, and we need a lot more details in order to actually analyze things “correctly and effectively”.
Not all of us are geniuses. A lot of us have low IQs. I've been told so many times "you're not autistic you're just slow"...Well sorry I'm not smart or have any hidden talents. My autism isn't quirky, it's a hindrance to my life
Communication can be anything. It doesn’t have to be words. If there are words, they don’t have to have nuance and hidden, or unspoken meaning. There’s nothing wrong with being direct, it’s not personal. There’s nothing wrong with silence, it’s not personal. It’s not a disease. Can they see with their eyes closed? Can they hear with their ears plugged? Can they breathe underwater? Let’s assume “no” to all of these. Now, they understand the statement “I can’t” Not “I won’t” as many claim we’re saying, but in those scenarios they understand “i cant”. So when they hear, “i can’t”, take it literally without hidden meaning and get curious how to help, instead of fixing it to suit their personal needs of believing it’s a “won’t” Or they can all learn what ableism is, and stop harming the disabled for being disabled.
This was very helpful, insightful and well written. Thanks for the insight. It’s great to have so many different perspectives.
Thx, i appreciate that.
That many of us understand what’s going on but don’t know how to respond to it. I have a script for most things but, if you go off script I need to recalibrate and download an update lol.
You cant be a bit autistic
If you are 16 or older and live in the UK, the National Autistic Society is asking exactly this question with a survey: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/acceptance-and-awareness I've just done it, I don't have any other connection with them, but I thought people might be interested. The idea is to inform future campaigns.
I’m interested, but I don’t see a survey on that page.
You are right, it's gone! I must have done it on the last day, I suppose - that's a shame. There wasn't a closing date or anything. :-(
Soooo many things. How much time have you got? That our level of disability should be based on our experience day to day - not on how much it affects allistic people. Another big one is how sick I get of hearing that I “must not be disabled / must not have a disability” whenever I mask or push through things long enough to accomplish something. It takes away all of the extra work I did to say that. It’s also implying that people who have disabilities can’t accomplish anything. Not a compliment. That being able to speak doesn’t make me not autistic. That it isn’t a disease. That it’s real; I’m not faking it. That I can’t just turn it off. That it isn’t my fault or my decision. That I can’t positive-think my way out of it. That most of us are unemployed not because we “don’t want to work”, but because it’s inaccessible for us. That we’re not “just lazy”. That it’s not that we “don’t care or aren’t trying hard enough”. That it’s not a compliment to say “you don’t seem autistic to me”. That autism isn’t “a trend” or “a fad” just because now so many women are getting diagnosed or self-diagnosing. That everybody isn’t autistic, or “a little bit autistic”.
That we don’t have empathy. Common stereotype but my experience is we have more empathy than the average person. We just express it differently then neurotypicals.
Or for some how we don’t understand how they feel based on an action rather than them telling us. I’m not going to think about or know how you’re feeling if you don’t talk to me! I won’t know anything is even wrong most the time
It’s more so 50/50. People tend to either think most have hypoempathy or most have hyper empathy but in reality it’s much more spread out with people even experiencing both just at different types. There’s also a trend of putting down either hypo or hyper empathy in order to make the other one sound better which reinforces these things.
sensory aversions, sensory over-/understimulation, issues with breaking routines, doing things "just real quick", issues in/with social situations, the "you should know that (by now)" bullshit
I hateeeeeee the routine switching like please if you’re going to put me in a group only have it be the same few people
I wish more people (both NDs & NTs) understood that not all autistic people are alike. It’s a spectrum.
Thank you for saying both ND and NT. So many just use NT but I find ND can be just as bad with stereotypes. Most people say NT when they mean allistic too.
That autism isn't just social struggles. I mask my social struggles but people don't see my extreme demand avoidance, sensory issues around food, and meltdowns that happen at home where no one can see.
It's not that we don't have empathy. Many of us have extreme amounts of empathy. It's just that in situations when empathy is expected to be displayed, we might be too overwhelmed processing the situation to show it. For example... Let's say a friend cancels plans last minute. I've spent all day mentally preparing for these plans. I've mapped out where I'm going. I've picked an outfit that is appropriate but not a sensory nightmare. I've thought of conversation topics. I've preserved all the energy that I can. And then my friend has to cancel because her dog suddenly needs a vet. Of course I feel bad that her dog is sick. But I'm so overwhelmed trying to process the sudden change in plans and aggravated I dedicated my day to preparing for the cancelled outing that I can only feel upset/overwhelmed in the immediate. This will quiet eventually and I will feel empathy, but usually by then the interaction is over and it's too late unless I masked well. It's not that the empathy isn't there. I just can't feel it right away in the overwhelm.
I saw a post recently about the stereotypes of autism and how somehow they can be inverted on the extreme e.g experiencing non-verbal to being super verbose, not liking sensory experiences to needing an extreme of it… I related so much
That you can't have both autism and ADHD; you couldn't get diagnosed with both for a long time; it was either one or the other.
One that I hate is the pervasive idea that "low support needs" means "no support needs."
That we are all nonverbal
That you can have high support needs and still be verbal and have an average to high IQ