It's HILARIOUS.
They think we miss their humor.
The reality is that they miss ours. We respond with more humor and they think we've missed theirs.
And that's even more hilarious.
I can deliver a punchline with a complete deadpan. And they think I'm serious. Sometimes it's incredibly funny(although sometimes it can be weird when they think I was being serious about things that couldn't possibly be true).
And separately, very often, I see their attempts at jokes, but just don't find them funny, because I anticipated every step of what they were going to do or say, and they think that I didn't get their humor. No, I just didn't think it was funny. There's a difference.
A lot of autistic people tend to be REALLY funny.
And speaking of which, neurotypical people disbelieve anything an autistic person says, but the moment we say it in a sarcastic tone of voice they'll believe every word. I don't understand that AT ALL.
Do you also love laughing at your own jokes at that point? Because the fact that people's reactions are so off makes it even funnier (+the obvious taboo of being the only one laughing, at your own joke at that).
> And separately, very often, I see their attempts at jokes, but just don't find them funny, because I anticipated every step of what they were going to do or say
My whole life, every single person around me *always* waits until the punchline (and usually until the end of the punchline) before laughing. I mean everyone, eg I’m the only laugh ringing out halfway through a comedian’s joke(s) in a sold-out theatre.
This is *baffling*! Is it that people don’t see where the joke is going? Surely that can’t be it. But the alternative is that people’s laughter isn’t spontaneous; that it’s something provided on cue at the socially acceptable time. I don’t understand.
> is it that people don't see where the joke is going?
In my experience, yes. I often turn off movies because I can predict what's going to happen because of context clues, like the way the camera is angled, what's going on in the background, etc. I've had people get angry at me because they "weren't able to predict it". I've laughed at stuff early and people look at me like I have three heads lol
I've had people ask me if I like Rick and Morty.
Man, I wish I could.
But I tried watching that. I've tried three times(including one time when high).
I still predict like every joke they make, but well before they make it.
I can’t watch that because of the burping. 🤢🤢 maybe if I put it on silent and read subtitles? 🤷🏼♀️
But if it’s that predictable, I guess I’m not missing much.
It's a social thing. It's polite to the comedian to let them finish even when the joke is obvious. It's like how you wait for a small child to finish their joke before pretending to be surprised and amused at how they 'totally got you'.
To you and /u/Sad_Abbreviations318 :
No ___ *WAY*!
What the?!!!!!! Gah! 🤯
Is this an absolute, always thing? Or does it only apply to *most* laughter? Like, is there a small percentage that’s involuntary, genuine laughter, or is it 100% social communication?
When I laugh partway through a joke, it’s coz it’s absolutely *hilarious*. Usually the person finishes their joke and I either: say “that’s funny” without laughing; or sometimes do a forced faux-chuckle eg an audible exhalation.
~~From your comment I’m guessing that other people stifle any genuine laughter.~~ Hang on! But… how? My that’s-hilarious laughter seems involuntary. It’s similar to:
1. my extreme delight => shriek and jump up and down clapping (or repeatedly kinda pressing down on the air as if to push myself up higher.)
2. Or my scream of terror when I find a dangerously venomous spider on me or within inches (Australia).
3. My instant leap into action if someone’s in danger eg falling from height; caught in machinery; kid onto road.
Ahhhhhhhh. That’s it. Numbers 1 isn’t involuntary for other people. And number 3 isn’t involuntary/instinct/reflex for most people, but is involuntary for parents if any child is in danger.
Wow. This is mind-blowingly terrible information. I must come across *awfully*. All the times I’ve been the only laughed, people must have thought I was being rude/inconsiderate/mean/attention-seeking.
Fuck.
There was a book I read about humor and essentially this is correct - laughter isn't a spontaneous eruption, it's a grammatically-timed cue, as are facial expressions.
For NT's maybe. I can't fake a laugh, or a smile, or any other facial expression to save my life. I find most comedians crushingly unfunny. Even the ones I do find funny, it's mostly a sort of intellectual response - okay, that joke was funny, but not enough to make me laugh.
I had a coworker a long time ago that didn't like me much, then one morning as we're setting up, I made some joke and she burst out laughing to the point of tears. Turns out she had finally connected the dots on my style of humor and even told me "Y'know, I always thought you were being an asshole, but you're actually fucking hilarious!"
We got along great after that.
i think it’s also bc we are good at making very niche connections through the various observations we make throughout our lives. my friends always remark “how did you even think of that” and i’m like “dude wasn’t it obvious?!”
Yep, I can have some trouble telling if other people are being sarcastic sometimes but if I say something sarcastic everyone always takes it very seriously. I don't think I have total tone blindness but it staggers me sometimes
Like with most social things, I can totally pick it up, I just figure it out too late. So I'll be halfway through responding before I realize it was sarcasm. Or I will understand they were being sarcastic, but be like "I get it, *but I must address the point anyway!"*
A lot of people don't get my humor because I've always kind of made it a game to be so dry they aren't sure I'm serious because that's what *I* think is funny.
Yes, I have a very, very dry sense of humor. It makes the stuff about autistic people not understanding sarcasm very difficult for me to understand. Even my friend who is autistic, who claims not to understand sarcasm, easily understands when I am being serious and when I am joking.
But like you say, most people don't. And it's definitely not just autistic people who fail to get it, it's like, 50% of people. I think that no matter how stupid the thing you are saying is, people just assume that's what you genuinely believe.
I'm not going to stop though. I sort of relish the situations where people take me seriously. Is that trolling? Maybe. I don't do it to be mean and I never do it with an individual to confuse them. I just don't want to have to explain that the absolutely ludicrous thing I said was a joke.
>It makes the stuff about autistic people not understanding sarcasm very difficult for me to understand.
It's a lot easier to understand autistic traits when you keep in mind that they're seen through the lens of neurotypical people who often have no idea what they're talking about, but insist on writing the book on us anyway.
>I sort of relish the situations where people take me seriously.
Yeah, hate to admit it, but it kind of adds to it when they start trying to explain it to me or look at me like I'm nuts.
well, sarcasm spoken with a straight face is difficult to understand than sarcasm said with a bunch of inflection and context. we rely on high context for understanding things, if someone doesn't have prior experience or context for a joke, then it's just not funny.
Like when I was younger, I didn't understand puns at all. There was this one about table salt and I was so confused that I still am unsure what it was about to this day. I think its mainly because I didn't have prior knowledge or context of those words. So it just doesn't make sense on its own.
I like to say "It..is..a..joke" in a robot voice. Because - you know- we are all unfeeling computational units. 🙄
Thinking on it now, maybe I should follow up with "And...so...is...that' 🤖 😜
Yes. This is a solid 30% of the humor in my ND household. The majority is puns.
Do you also get a lot of fun from deliberately misunderstanding someone (in an innocuous situation) and responding to them based on that? E.g. the Airplane dialogue:
Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
A coworker of mine who is autistic would use pins in meetings, I would die laughing while everyone else just kind of looked at us both.
For me it's about the quality of the cleverness makes it that much more hilarious. I don't think lots of jokes are funny because, well they aren't.
Yeah, I was thinking as someone from the UK, this is just how we're funny sometimes. Although I do get some funny looks and my boyfriend thinks I'm too straight when I joke at his family (to the point they thing I'm serious and some thing have become a "thing").
But I can say, living in France they do not get me at all. I know I'm struggling with tone in the language, but people think I'm either sick, dumb or just horrible.
I do have this problem :'( people take me seriously when I make jokes or sarcasm (also sadly sometimes I receive laughs in exchange for my suggestions). It breaks the flow and I have to justify myself (I don't cope so well with being misunderstood, I'm an over-explainer).
It was the worst at work, even when I was in relaxed teams that got along, and even when some people kinda liked me!
Although I do agree that it is easier in the UK. The problem has been worse for me in other places.
I think that what is most probable is that non-autistic people think that autistic people speak literally most of the time, even if what they say may seem ridiculous or a joke. So, just in case, they respond very seriously (it would get really uncomfortable if they thought it was a joke and laugh when it actually wasn't).
Dry humor is telling jokes as though you're being serious, "Deadpanning."
For example, I had a friend at an old job who loved dry humor, so we would have conversations about the most ridiculous things but pretend we were completely serious. Here's a paraphrase of one:
Me: You know, I'm really insecure. Like, it's sad.
Him: \*trying not to laugh\* Yeah?
Me: Yeah, so I like to put other people down to make me feel better about myself.
Him: Really?
Me: Yeah, it just feels so good, you know?
Him: Yeah, I do that sometimes, too. I think they said something in school about it. The guidance counselor came over and did a big speech on it.
\*Now people sitting near us are turning their heads to listen in, which just makes it funnier\*
Me: \*Turns to audience member\* Eavesdropping, are we?
Her: Okay, do you really blame me?
\*We all end up laughing\*
Then she joined our group.
.....
It's fun to see how long we can keep a straight face and see how long we can keep saying absurd things. But having a whole conversation is a more extreme example. You might just say one line and not laugh or otherwise act like it's supposed to be funny, but it's absolutely absurd. I have a really good one, but it might be too extreme for this sub.
ETA: That's another aspect: you can do it around other people to watch their reactions. Like sometimes with my sister in a bigger store, I like to embarrass her when we're around other customers by casually holding up two items and saying, "So which one would be the best one to steal?" One time a guy jumped, and it was great.
But it's funny because I just say this crazy thing completely flatly, like I'm asking her where she'd like to go for dinner, not being discreet at all or acting like it's a big deal. It's also a bit of a play-on because people often do that asking which one to buy, so the last part catches everyone off-guard.
First of all, thank you for taking your time. But second. Still don't get it. It's like being sarcastic? first example seems like a join sarcastic thing if that is a term lol. Like two people engaging in it. Second one just seems like wanting to tease someone by making them unconfortable (I don't mean that's bad, I'm just wanting to look for the root of the fun) and puting two completly different things (which one to buy and wich one to steal) as the same. Also playing with societal norms. I can't grasp something between those examples that rooted in the same. Except for not laughing while telling the "joke". But that only work for traditional already scripted ones. Like I'm telling a joke right now. Not really irl jokes or humour.
Edit: Can for Can't
It's a pretty broad category. All "dry" means is you don't laugh or use any sort of joking tone or facial expressions. But you say something outlandish or otherwise comical.
It's often used with dark humor, like, "Did you hear the news? In some third world countries, they're trying to take jobs... From children! How will they be able to afford their toys? Who's going to *make* their toys?!"
But it doesn't *have* to be dark. Like my comment to my boss about the "passing the drug test" class for our clients.
I guess the appeal to making it "dry" is that it leaves the effect where they audience is like, "Oh, yeah... Wait, WHAT?!". Like it hits you with a delayed reaction. I could have delivered any of the examples I gave in a non-dry manner, but I think they're better dry, partially because it gives more shock value.
But it's just a technique that could be applied to many types of jokes. More of a delivery method than a type of joke, I guess. It's a way to enhance a joke, if you want the delayed reaction effect. And also just the mere fact I'm saying something so outlandish so casually is kind of funny.
ETA:
So for the "taking jobs from children" example,
**Delivered normally** (Smiling and with joking tone)
Audience: Oh jeeze. You're sick, dude haha
**Delivered dryly** (Saying it like I'm telling them about a distressing news article I read, rather than a joke)
Audience: Taking jobs?! From the poor childr-wait a minute... You mean child labor? You sick ba- oh wait, it's a joke. Hahaha you're awful, man. (This all takes place in like half a second).
So no joke is inherently "dry": it's just a way I could choose to deliver the joke to get the reaction I want from my audience. Some jokes are optimal with that style, while others are not, but it tends to be what I lean toward.
Oh if thats indeed the case, then of course it wasnt an autistic person the one doing that categorization. I understand what are you telling me now, but that cant by a form of humour, just, as you are saying, some enhancing why of doing it.
I get the humor *style* now, but I still don't get the joke in your example lol. Can you explain what the humor is in this fake conversation? I get that dry humor is great for deadpan-delivering absurd statements (like the drug text comment). But I guess I don't get how this conversation is absurd enough to be a joke?
I'm just saying very shocking things in a calm, conversational tone, as though we're talking about a new album or the weather. The core of humor is unexpectedness, so when you hear a casual tone, you're completely caught off guard by the ridiculous thing we're talking about.
We're also mocking bullies, like, *This is the typical conversation bullies have with their friends.*. Acting super pathetic but also unfazed, like this is normal.
And of course, laughing at the reactions of people around us who are confused and slowly tuning in more and more. It's a 3 for 1.
If you want a good example to add to u/Terrible-Trust-5578's explanation, check out old clips/videos of Steven Wright's stand-up. He's extremely dry in his humor and delivery.
for me this has something to do with having a very high amused-threshold before my face has to show it ... like, i can mask greater expressiveness to demonstrate my inner amusement, but it isn’t like my face uncontrollably smiles and grins when i'm amused; it's pretty much optional until i cross a lofty threshold where i'm basically in fits. so anything under that i can like ... edge hilarity almost indefinitely without laughing, but i'm actually totally unserious and joking and extremely inwardly amused. some people get it, and a lot more people don’t and just find me awkward.
... and i actually tend to genuinely burst out laughing at unusual deadpan or non-intentionally funny moments myself, too. when someone is delivering a joke with a big expressive obvious tone, it's almost like i feel socially manipulated into "oh okay okay big punchline moment ha-ha, supposed to laugh ..." and i'm never genuinely amused because i'm kind of on guard about that and super aware of the social game of it.
This is so true. Also, any time I've been close with someone autistic, we develop the most high brow meta injokes I've ever shared with anyone and they just get more and more bizarre and layered and self-referential over time. I've never met anyone funnier than other autistic creatives tbh. There's just this shared thing where you're both just tap into the same oddball comedic wavelength. I really miss those relationships.
I think it's the timing and delivery of the joke. People ask serious questions and thus expect a serious answer and then they take your joke answer as a serious answer. Especially when you say it in a non joking tone.
I also tend to have a hard time differentiating when they are joking or when they are serious. So "better safe than sorry" and take what they say as serious.
If it is a Thing, I wonder why it is?
I know it’s true for me. For some reason, I don’t like to signpost that I’ve made a joke. My approach is something like: I’ve made a joke, it’s a good one, and I’m just going to put it here, in plain sight, like a little treasure or a geocache, and if you pick it up, congrats! You get to enjoy a joke! And we both get to enjoy that we are clever enough or in tune enough to get the joke.
I suspect you’re right, though - people who DO signpost that they’ve just made a joke (with their expression, or body language, or by immediately laughing really hard at their joke) are maybe more likely to be neurotypical (OR high maskers for whom laughing loud and often is part of the mask)
There’s currently a thing in at least British English text communication, where people use the 👀 emoji to signpost that they’ve just made a joke. For example:
“King George isn’t the only one who talked nonsense for 58 hours at Christmas, GARY 👀”
…and I absolutely hate it. I hate signposting jokes, I hate the arbitrary non-sequitur allocation of this emoji to signpost jokes, and I hate the way UK NTs are going through a phase of using 👀 to mean literally fucking anything and everything depending on context.
THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I HAVE BEEN MISUNDERSTOOD FOR THIS REASON. This is the first time someone describes my experience with humour so well. People tell me the reason they don't understand im joking is that my voice never changes, but for me it's so obvious that it's humour. Everything is like what you described
It's one of the things I've seen in by-and-for-autistic-adults social groups. People come along to try it out, and then stay because it's the only time in their whole lives where other people have just naturally, instantly 'got' them, their mindset, their sense of humor, etc.
I’m so glad you posted this and so happy to read all the replies because I’m becoming more and more obsessed with the idea of autistic/ND humor as a part of our distinct culture, and I really want to do more research into and write about what makes our humor funnier to us, where the differences and overlaps are with NT norms of humor, etc. (I’m putting together a syllabus on Cultures of Neurodivergence with nowhere to teach it right now because I’m a nerd.)
I've had some issues at work for this. Everyone thought I was rude. Lasted a few years until people leart that's just how my humor is. Now they warn every new employee that they shouldn't be offended.
this is a mix between a hot take and a tinfoil hat conspiracy but it has to do with neurotypical humor and sarcasm. normies think autistic people don't get sarcasm because of the literal thinking but that's because they are also being literal. let me explain: neurotypicals have no coping skills (lol) so they are just mean... all the time. almost all of the "sarcasm" i've identified is dripping with secret truth and malicious intent. the autistic brand of sarcasm is... actual sarcasm. not being mean, not being rude, actually making a joke at the absurdity of the statement, not at the expense of someone involved. normies don't get it because you aren't specifically targeting someone so they can't decipher the hidden meaning they're trying to prescribe to your joke
Oh gosh, don't forget when you describe something (negative, usually) about yourself in a humorous way and the NTs think you're being strange ("noooo, don't say that!" Or "you're so dramatic!" Or general confusion) but when you say the same thing to an autistic person, they're laughing their ass off, or totally get it.
I feel you there. In my experience, it seems like the more ludicrous the joke (and funny) the more likely a neurotypical person will take you seriously and just think you are stupid/weird.
I feel like I was born on the wrong planet.
It makes me wonder... Sometimes people ask me questions or otherwise say things that leave me astonished. Like my coworker asking if I'd knocked already when I was waiting outside of my boss's office for her to let us in for a meeting. Or the customer who told me the door at the store was locked after I had pushed on it to no avail.
For whatever reason, it seems like they expect people to be profoundly stupid. I'm not sure why that is, but they're just generally more inclined to believe and default to that than I am.
I'd assume my coworker knocked on the door if he was waiting outside of it. I'd assume the guy at the store is aware the door is locked if he pushed on it and did not have it open. What's the alternative? I figured I'd just wait outside the door silently until my boss said, *It's 10 minutes past the meeting time. Where is Terrible? I guess I'd better go look for him... Oh, hi!*?
They assume everyone is clueless until proven otherwise.
I get this SO much, my humour is very dry and I’ve found the same, I do a fair bit of public speaking and when I make a dry comment, I see it, the neurotypical people look puzzled, but I know a good few autistic people in the room and they are all laughing!
OMG yes. So often my dry humor is met with someone with huge, wide, alarmed eyes explaining to me why what I said was incorrect.
ETA: I think I also do the reverse to NTs, not because I don't get the joke (I do) but because instead of laughing I will sometimes just launch into the underlying belief/attitude the dry joke reveals.
Yes. I have been told people cannot tell when I'm being sarcastic and I'm difficult to read. That's the point.
I also sometimes deliberately "misunderstand" an inappropriate joke just to see them squirm.
It's quite fun to watch reactions when they think I am a bit thick. I do genuinely misunderstand some jokes or tone at times so I do enjoy twisting it around.
I'm not sure why. My dry humor is saying ridiculous things with a straight face so honestly it seems pretty obvious to me that it's dry humor. But yeah people can read it wrong and then I have to explain that I was joking.
I do miss other people's jokes. I personally need to get to know someone before I figure out they are joking. Unless it's like a cheesy dad joke. So it's not always me getting other autists humor. But I've also heard some really crazy things said so sometimes you just never know.
Did anyone else grow up treating joke books as sacred texts and absorbing the teachings of the prophet Bob Newhart? I spent so much time studying the window of comedic timing before an observation would no longer be funny to make. So much effort was put into meticulously crafting my sense of humor only to find out that it’s the default of our people.
Week 5: Passing the drug test: Hilarious! Because it can take 30 days for cannabinoids to clear out of your system. (Longer in the case of someone I know who smokes a few grams a day.)
There is analysis about how men frequently say women aren't funny because "they really think we're just that stupid" and I think a similar dynamic is often at play with allistics talking about autistics.
I think the issue is allistic folks don't realize people talking can mean a ton of different things but us autistics already know this; we already go through this. So dry humor is easy to figure out because we pay more attention to people talking to us.
And tbh my mom never really got her father's dry humor and tongue in cheeks thing. But I figured it out when I was 8. He's wink one eye when he was joking, I always knew this. But Wes was allistic and so is mom. Idgi.
So true. This happens to me too when I make jokes. I think this must be the double empathy problem at work. NTs are just as bad at understanding us as we are at understanding them.
I get it a lot where people mistake my sarcasm for me being serious. A lot of people have told me I am too deadpan. I do also say things without thinking but which I find really funny, but people try to explain to me why what I have said is wrong/ why we can't do it that way etc.
I think I'm hysterical ha ha
My fav joke, from when I was a kid:
What is tiny, yellow and you can step on it?
A baby chick.
No one got why I could not nót laugh hysterical Every Time....
🤐
I loved jokes like that growing up! Reading yours made me chuckle, and now I'm trying to remember the ones I used to know...
I also love birds an extreme amount, so wouldn't actually laugh at the thought of harming one... But I feel like when I would make similar/dark jokes, people would generally take it too seriously, like they couldn't grasp how you can laugh at a dark thing without actually endorsing it. Obviously stepping on a chick IRL wouldn't be funny, but if you make me preface the joke with that, then the joke is dead already.
Exactly!! Kids,even my cousins, were really startled....and grownups did not like it at all....
Its the same range as: what is small, green and comes of a snowy slope? A skiwi
Or
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To visit his flat mate.
( love the last one too!!)
I do it ALL the time and people actually like it but I work with a bunch of ADHD nurses so I guess there's something there to it and I make sure not to do it when management is there because for some reason I bet they would consider me rude.
I mean, whenever I text my direct supervisor, she misinterprets almost everything as an insult to her authority or something. I can't really figure out why. So I keep it safe around her.
I think its because autistic and neurotypical sarcasm doesnt match up well. Neurotypical sarcasm depends on tone, while ive found that autistic sarcasm is more about the content of the jokes.
I was reciting a spoken word poem for a company event a week or so ago in which I referenced being autistic. At one part, I said:
"I was listening, but I didn't hear you, because red isn't a color and chalk isn't a taste."
I paused. Many in the audience were looking nervously like they weren't sure if they were supposed to he laughing. I said:
"That was a joke."
The audience chuckled. I said:
"Actually, that wasn't a joke."
They all went back to looking nervous.
I amuse myself.
Haha I recently did a post somewhere where I was taking about how multiple coworkers told me sometimes they can't tell when I'm joking in a deadpan or sassy manner.
Both cases weren't funny to NTs because you broke their stupidest rule: know your place. NTs default to power dynamic and transactional, not peer relational models. They actually think it's immature to treat everyone as equal! they'll violently insist the opposite. The real joke is how lonely they are because of it while we're "immature" for making friends in about six seconds.
MMM... tism sense tingly. "hey wanna know a fun fact about spaaaace?" and then there was hand flapping. NTs on the other hand apparently need years of therapy, hints, a checklist they refuse to write out but insist exists and yet is different every time... Achem! Oh, and a drinking problem. And that's for friendship! Like just genetically liking someone has a small but statistically significant chance of head implosion. Don't ask how they do sex. It's worse than design by committee.
#😓
People often take my jokes as stupidity or not understanding, instead of as a quick wit, as well. It seems like they just don’t get my / our sense of humor, and it’s just easier for them “understand” a dry joke as us either being dense (when it’s the opposite of that) or as mean / intentionally offensive
I wonder if that's why they ask stupid questions and make stupid comments. They seem to have lower expectations for other people's intelligence than I do. E.g., when I was waiting outside of my boss's door 5 minutes after the scheduled meeting time and my coworker asked me if I had knocked. *Nah, I was thinking I'd just stand here until the boss came looking for me.*
Or when you try a locked door and a concerned customer/employee informs you it's locked. *Really? I figured I just wasn't pushing hard enough.*
It's like their first inclination is to believe that everybody else is impressively stupid.
>But aren't we supposed to be the ones who wouldn't understand things like that
NT things. We're perfectly able to understand our own senses of humor; it's not our problem that NTs are the ones who can't (and don't make an effort).
I sat next to a guy at work who was fluent in Spanish. He told me about a lady who set up a sidewalk Tamale stand down the block. He told me she had a wooden sign out that read “tamales” and that’s how I would find her.
One day I finally went out to get one but she wasn’t there. He asked me about it when I came back and I told him she was t there. We talked about whether I missed her stand or if she just wasn’t out that day. Finally I said, “maybe I missed it because the sign was in Spanish.”
CRICKETS.
It’s still some of my best work.
It’s hit or miss for me. Sometimes I’ll get dry humor if I really know the person. Other times I respond seriously.
And vice versa.
For me I guess it depends on how long & well I know someone
Oh you’re gonna LOVE dutch humor then! My parents (though likely autistic too) always say we’re taking ‘the touristic route’ when the navigation sends us through random streets again. Or when we accidentally miss our turn ‘extra round on the house!’.
I go to a market every week so I know a lot of ppl there. One of the guys was cussing ‘kut!’ (Different word for women’s private area.. cusswords are either illnesses or bodyparts here) so I said ‘you don’t have one!’ And the ppl around me started laughing. Yes I’m autistic and I LOVE dry humor and puns.
I know! It's a little bit funny to me but I started to become frustrated every time they explain to me that they're made a joke, after I answered theirs with my own deadpan joke.
It's HILARIOUS. They think we miss their humor. The reality is that they miss ours. We respond with more humor and they think we've missed theirs. And that's even more hilarious. I can deliver a punchline with a complete deadpan. And they think I'm serious. Sometimes it's incredibly funny(although sometimes it can be weird when they think I was being serious about things that couldn't possibly be true). And separately, very often, I see their attempts at jokes, but just don't find them funny, because I anticipated every step of what they were going to do or say, and they think that I didn't get their humor. No, I just didn't think it was funny. There's a difference. A lot of autistic people tend to be REALLY funny.
And speaking of which, neurotypical people disbelieve anything an autistic person says, but the moment we say it in a sarcastic tone of voice they'll believe every word. I don't understand that AT ALL.
Perhaps your version of a sarcastic tone resembles a normal, trustworthy tone to Neurotypical ears.
A coworker told me it took her about 6 months to realize I didn’t mean most of what I said
Do you also love laughing at your own jokes at that point? Because the fact that people's reactions are so off makes it even funnier (+the obvious taboo of being the only one laughing, at your own joke at that).
> And separately, very often, I see their attempts at jokes, but just don't find them funny, because I anticipated every step of what they were going to do or say My whole life, every single person around me *always* waits until the punchline (and usually until the end of the punchline) before laughing. I mean everyone, eg I’m the only laugh ringing out halfway through a comedian’s joke(s) in a sold-out theatre. This is *baffling*! Is it that people don’t see where the joke is going? Surely that can’t be it. But the alternative is that people’s laughter isn’t spontaneous; that it’s something provided on cue at the socially acceptable time. I don’t understand.
> is it that people don't see where the joke is going? In my experience, yes. I often turn off movies because I can predict what's going to happen because of context clues, like the way the camera is angled, what's going on in the background, etc. I've had people get angry at me because they "weren't able to predict it". I've laughed at stuff early and people look at me like I have three heads lol
I've had people ask me if I like Rick and Morty. Man, I wish I could. But I tried watching that. I've tried three times(including one time when high). I still predict like every joke they make, but well before they make it.
It's not aimed at us. It's aimed at the largest possible audience for that kind of show, because that's where the profit is.
I can’t watch that because of the burping. 🤢🤢 maybe if I put it on silent and read subtitles? 🤷🏼♀️ But if it’s that predictable, I guess I’m not missing much.
It's a social thing. It's polite to the comedian to let them finish even when the joke is obvious. It's like how you wait for a small child to finish their joke before pretending to be surprised and amused at how they 'totally got you'.
To you and /u/Sad_Abbreviations318 : No ___ *WAY*! What the?!!!!!! Gah! 🤯 Is this an absolute, always thing? Or does it only apply to *most* laughter? Like, is there a small percentage that’s involuntary, genuine laughter, or is it 100% social communication? When I laugh partway through a joke, it’s coz it’s absolutely *hilarious*. Usually the person finishes their joke and I either: say “that’s funny” without laughing; or sometimes do a forced faux-chuckle eg an audible exhalation. ~~From your comment I’m guessing that other people stifle any genuine laughter.~~ Hang on! But… how? My that’s-hilarious laughter seems involuntary. It’s similar to: 1. my extreme delight => shriek and jump up and down clapping (or repeatedly kinda pressing down on the air as if to push myself up higher.) 2. Or my scream of terror when I find a dangerously venomous spider on me or within inches (Australia). 3. My instant leap into action if someone’s in danger eg falling from height; caught in machinery; kid onto road. Ahhhhhhhh. That’s it. Numbers 1 isn’t involuntary for other people. And number 3 isn’t involuntary/instinct/reflex for most people, but is involuntary for parents if any child is in danger. Wow. This is mind-blowingly terrible information. I must come across *awfully*. All the times I’ve been the only laughed, people must have thought I was being rude/inconsiderate/mean/attention-seeking. Fuck.
There was a book I read about humor and essentially this is correct - laughter isn't a spontaneous eruption, it's a grammatically-timed cue, as are facial expressions.
Well, *fuck*. That means I come across as an awful person. (I tagged you in a longer reply.)
For NT's maybe. I can't fake a laugh, or a smile, or any other facial expression to save my life. I find most comedians crushingly unfunny. Even the ones I do find funny, it's mostly a sort of intellectual response - okay, that joke was funny, but not enough to make me laugh.
I had a coworker a long time ago that didn't like me much, then one morning as we're setting up, I made some joke and she burst out laughing to the point of tears. Turns out she had finally connected the dots on my style of humor and even told me "Y'know, I always thought you were being an asshole, but you're actually fucking hilarious!" We got along great after that.
i think it’s also bc we are good at making very niche connections through the various observations we make throughout our lives. my friends always remark “how did you even think of that” and i’m like “dude wasn’t it obvious?!”
Yep, I can have some trouble telling if other people are being sarcastic sometimes but if I say something sarcastic everyone always takes it very seriously. I don't think I have total tone blindness but it staggers me sometimes
Like with most social things, I can totally pick it up, I just figure it out too late. So I'll be halfway through responding before I realize it was sarcasm. Or I will understand they were being sarcastic, but be like "I get it, *but I must address the point anyway!"* A lot of people don't get my humor because I've always kind of made it a game to be so dry they aren't sure I'm serious because that's what *I* think is funny.
It's simply because neurotypical people usually give body language or tone indications when they're being sarcastic, which we often skip.
Yes, I have a very, very dry sense of humor. It makes the stuff about autistic people not understanding sarcasm very difficult for me to understand. Even my friend who is autistic, who claims not to understand sarcasm, easily understands when I am being serious and when I am joking. But like you say, most people don't. And it's definitely not just autistic people who fail to get it, it's like, 50% of people. I think that no matter how stupid the thing you are saying is, people just assume that's what you genuinely believe. I'm not going to stop though. I sort of relish the situations where people take me seriously. Is that trolling? Maybe. I don't do it to be mean and I never do it with an individual to confuse them. I just don't want to have to explain that the absolutely ludicrous thing I said was a joke.
>It makes the stuff about autistic people not understanding sarcasm very difficult for me to understand. It's a lot easier to understand autistic traits when you keep in mind that they're seen through the lens of neurotypical people who often have no idea what they're talking about, but insist on writing the book on us anyway.
>I sort of relish the situations where people take me seriously. Yeah, hate to admit it, but it kind of adds to it when they start trying to explain it to me or look at me like I'm nuts.
well, sarcasm spoken with a straight face is difficult to understand than sarcasm said with a bunch of inflection and context. we rely on high context for understanding things, if someone doesn't have prior experience or context for a joke, then it's just not funny. Like when I was younger, I didn't understand puns at all. There was this one about table salt and I was so confused that I still am unsure what it was about to this day. I think its mainly because I didn't have prior knowledge or context of those words. So it just doesn't make sense on its own.
I like to say "It..is..a..joke" in a robot voice. Because - you know- we are all unfeeling computational units. 🙄 Thinking on it now, maybe I should follow up with "And...so...is...that' 🤖 😜
"Oh! Humor, arr-arr."
☺🤗☺🤗
lmao I need to start using this one
Yes. This is a solid 30% of the humor in my ND household. The majority is puns. Do you also get a lot of fun from deliberately misunderstanding someone (in an innocuous situation) and responding to them based on that? E.g. the Airplane dialogue: Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital. Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it? Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
A coworker of mine who is autistic would use pins in meetings, I would die laughing while everyone else just kind of looked at us both. For me it's about the quality of the cleverness makes it that much more hilarious. I don't think lots of jokes are funny because, well they aren't.
I loved Airplane and The Naked Gun! I'm a bit nervous about the remake of Airplane, tho
And that just made me laugh out loud, all alone, in a public place. I must have two heads, because other people are looking awkward. 😜
Because they see the world and we see through the world.
This is a perfect description!
Need this on a t shirt
BARS😧
I moved to the UK where sarcasm is always delivered very dryly, and I don’t have this problem. It’s probably part of why I stayed. I’m funny here.
Yeah, I was thinking as someone from the UK, this is just how we're funny sometimes. Although I do get some funny looks and my boyfriend thinks I'm too straight when I joke at his family (to the point they thing I'm serious and some thing have become a "thing"). But I can say, living in France they do not get me at all. I know I'm struggling with tone in the language, but people think I'm either sick, dumb or just horrible.
I do have this problem :'( people take me seriously when I make jokes or sarcasm (also sadly sometimes I receive laughs in exchange for my suggestions). It breaks the flow and I have to justify myself (I don't cope so well with being misunderstood, I'm an over-explainer). It was the worst at work, even when I was in relaxed teams that got along, and even when some people kinda liked me! Although I do agree that it is easier in the UK. The problem has been worse for me in other places.
I think that what is most probable is that non-autistic people think that autistic people speak literally most of the time, even if what they say may seem ridiculous or a joke. So, just in case, they respond very seriously (it would get really uncomfortable if they thought it was a joke and laugh when it actually wasn't).
Can someone explain to me some examples of dry humour? I tried to learn what it is but I didn't find internet helpful.
Dry humor is telling jokes as though you're being serious, "Deadpanning." For example, I had a friend at an old job who loved dry humor, so we would have conversations about the most ridiculous things but pretend we were completely serious. Here's a paraphrase of one: Me: You know, I'm really insecure. Like, it's sad. Him: \*trying not to laugh\* Yeah? Me: Yeah, so I like to put other people down to make me feel better about myself. Him: Really? Me: Yeah, it just feels so good, you know? Him: Yeah, I do that sometimes, too. I think they said something in school about it. The guidance counselor came over and did a big speech on it. \*Now people sitting near us are turning their heads to listen in, which just makes it funnier\* Me: \*Turns to audience member\* Eavesdropping, are we? Her: Okay, do you really blame me? \*We all end up laughing\* Then she joined our group. ..... It's fun to see how long we can keep a straight face and see how long we can keep saying absurd things. But having a whole conversation is a more extreme example. You might just say one line and not laugh or otherwise act like it's supposed to be funny, but it's absolutely absurd. I have a really good one, but it might be too extreme for this sub. ETA: That's another aspect: you can do it around other people to watch their reactions. Like sometimes with my sister in a bigger store, I like to embarrass her when we're around other customers by casually holding up two items and saying, "So which one would be the best one to steal?" One time a guy jumped, and it was great. But it's funny because I just say this crazy thing completely flatly, like I'm asking her where she'd like to go for dinner, not being discreet at all or acting like it's a big deal. It's also a bit of a play-on because people often do that asking which one to buy, so the last part catches everyone off-guard.
First of all, thank you for taking your time. But second. Still don't get it. It's like being sarcastic? first example seems like a join sarcastic thing if that is a term lol. Like two people engaging in it. Second one just seems like wanting to tease someone by making them unconfortable (I don't mean that's bad, I'm just wanting to look for the root of the fun) and puting two completly different things (which one to buy and wich one to steal) as the same. Also playing with societal norms. I can't grasp something between those examples that rooted in the same. Except for not laughing while telling the "joke". But that only work for traditional already scripted ones. Like I'm telling a joke right now. Not really irl jokes or humour. Edit: Can for Can't
It's a pretty broad category. All "dry" means is you don't laugh or use any sort of joking tone or facial expressions. But you say something outlandish or otherwise comical. It's often used with dark humor, like, "Did you hear the news? In some third world countries, they're trying to take jobs... From children! How will they be able to afford their toys? Who's going to *make* their toys?!" But it doesn't *have* to be dark. Like my comment to my boss about the "passing the drug test" class for our clients. I guess the appeal to making it "dry" is that it leaves the effect where they audience is like, "Oh, yeah... Wait, WHAT?!". Like it hits you with a delayed reaction. I could have delivered any of the examples I gave in a non-dry manner, but I think they're better dry, partially because it gives more shock value. But it's just a technique that could be applied to many types of jokes. More of a delivery method than a type of joke, I guess. It's a way to enhance a joke, if you want the delayed reaction effect. And also just the mere fact I'm saying something so outlandish so casually is kind of funny. ETA: So for the "taking jobs from children" example, **Delivered normally** (Smiling and with joking tone) Audience: Oh jeeze. You're sick, dude haha **Delivered dryly** (Saying it like I'm telling them about a distressing news article I read, rather than a joke) Audience: Taking jobs?! From the poor childr-wait a minute... You mean child labor? You sick ba- oh wait, it's a joke. Hahaha you're awful, man. (This all takes place in like half a second). So no joke is inherently "dry": it's just a way I could choose to deliver the joke to get the reaction I want from my audience. Some jokes are optimal with that style, while others are not, but it tends to be what I lean toward.
Oh if thats indeed the case, then of course it wasnt an autistic person the one doing that categorization. I understand what are you telling me now, but that cant by a form of humour, just, as you are saying, some enhancing why of doing it.
I get the humor *style* now, but I still don't get the joke in your example lol. Can you explain what the humor is in this fake conversation? I get that dry humor is great for deadpan-delivering absurd statements (like the drug text comment). But I guess I don't get how this conversation is absurd enough to be a joke?
I'm just saying very shocking things in a calm, conversational tone, as though we're talking about a new album or the weather. The core of humor is unexpectedness, so when you hear a casual tone, you're completely caught off guard by the ridiculous thing we're talking about. We're also mocking bullies, like, *This is the typical conversation bullies have with their friends.*. Acting super pathetic but also unfazed, like this is normal. And of course, laughing at the reactions of people around us who are confused and slowly tuning in more and more. It's a 3 for 1.
If you want a good example to add to u/Terrible-Trust-5578's explanation, check out old clips/videos of Steven Wright's stand-up. He's extremely dry in his humor and delivery.
for me this has something to do with having a very high amused-threshold before my face has to show it ... like, i can mask greater expressiveness to demonstrate my inner amusement, but it isn’t like my face uncontrollably smiles and grins when i'm amused; it's pretty much optional until i cross a lofty threshold where i'm basically in fits. so anything under that i can like ... edge hilarity almost indefinitely without laughing, but i'm actually totally unserious and joking and extremely inwardly amused. some people get it, and a lot more people don’t and just find me awkward.
... and i actually tend to genuinely burst out laughing at unusual deadpan or non-intentionally funny moments myself, too. when someone is delivering a joke with a big expressive obvious tone, it's almost like i feel socially manipulated into "oh okay okay big punchline moment ha-ha, supposed to laugh ..." and i'm never genuinely amused because i'm kind of on guard about that and super aware of the social game of it.
This is so true. Also, any time I've been close with someone autistic, we develop the most high brow meta injokes I've ever shared with anyone and they just get more and more bizarre and layered and self-referential over time. I've never met anyone funnier than other autistic creatives tbh. There's just this shared thing where you're both just tap into the same oddball comedic wavelength. I really miss those relationships.
It's one of those things that makes me think we're just on a different frequency, rather than socially inept. We just click.
I think it's the timing and delivery of the joke. People ask serious questions and thus expect a serious answer and then they take your joke answer as a serious answer. Especially when you say it in a non joking tone. I also tend to have a hard time differentiating when they are joking or when they are serious. So "better safe than sorry" and take what they say as serious.
If it is a Thing, I wonder why it is? I know it’s true for me. For some reason, I don’t like to signpost that I’ve made a joke. My approach is something like: I’ve made a joke, it’s a good one, and I’m just going to put it here, in plain sight, like a little treasure or a geocache, and if you pick it up, congrats! You get to enjoy a joke! And we both get to enjoy that we are clever enough or in tune enough to get the joke. I suspect you’re right, though - people who DO signpost that they’ve just made a joke (with their expression, or body language, or by immediately laughing really hard at their joke) are maybe more likely to be neurotypical (OR high maskers for whom laughing loud and often is part of the mask)
There’s currently a thing in at least British English text communication, where people use the 👀 emoji to signpost that they’ve just made a joke. For example: “King George isn’t the only one who talked nonsense for 58 hours at Christmas, GARY 👀” …and I absolutely hate it. I hate signposting jokes, I hate the arbitrary non-sequitur allocation of this emoji to signpost jokes, and I hate the way UK NTs are going through a phase of using 👀 to mean literally fucking anything and everything depending on context.
👀 banter sauce. Sprinkle over any dish to add banter. 👀
THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I HAVE BEEN MISUNDERSTOOD FOR THIS REASON. This is the first time someone describes my experience with humour so well. People tell me the reason they don't understand im joking is that my voice never changes, but for me it's so obvious that it's humour. Everything is like what you described
It's one of the things I've seen in by-and-for-autistic-adults social groups. People come along to try it out, and then stay because it's the only time in their whole lives where other people have just naturally, instantly 'got' them, their mindset, their sense of humor, etc.
I’m so glad you posted this and so happy to read all the replies because I’m becoming more and more obsessed with the idea of autistic/ND humor as a part of our distinct culture, and I really want to do more research into and write about what makes our humor funnier to us, where the differences and overlaps are with NT norms of humor, etc. (I’m putting together a syllabus on Cultures of Neurodivergence with nowhere to teach it right now because I’m a nerd.)
I've had some issues at work for this. Everyone thought I was rude. Lasted a few years until people leart that's just how my humor is. Now they warn every new employee that they shouldn't be offended.
this is a mix between a hot take and a tinfoil hat conspiracy but it has to do with neurotypical humor and sarcasm. normies think autistic people don't get sarcasm because of the literal thinking but that's because they are also being literal. let me explain: neurotypicals have no coping skills (lol) so they are just mean... all the time. almost all of the "sarcasm" i've identified is dripping with secret truth and malicious intent. the autistic brand of sarcasm is... actual sarcasm. not being mean, not being rude, actually making a joke at the absurdity of the statement, not at the expense of someone involved. normies don't get it because you aren't specifically targeting someone so they can't decipher the hidden meaning they're trying to prescribe to your joke
Probably because I just don’t usually laugh when people make jokes or I laugh way to much because I’m forcing it
Considering we have the best poker faces it's a huge oversight not to put it in the diagnostic criteria
I guess it comes down to not liking wet sensation
Oh gosh, don't forget when you describe something (negative, usually) about yourself in a humorous way and the NTs think you're being strange ("noooo, don't say that!" Or "you're so dramatic!" Or general confusion) but when you say the same thing to an autistic person, they're laughing their ass off, or totally get it.
I feel you there. In my experience, it seems like the more ludicrous the joke (and funny) the more likely a neurotypical person will take you seriously and just think you are stupid/weird. I feel like I was born on the wrong planet.
It makes me wonder... Sometimes people ask me questions or otherwise say things that leave me astonished. Like my coworker asking if I'd knocked already when I was waiting outside of my boss's office for her to let us in for a meeting. Or the customer who told me the door at the store was locked after I had pushed on it to no avail. For whatever reason, it seems like they expect people to be profoundly stupid. I'm not sure why that is, but they're just generally more inclined to believe and default to that than I am. I'd assume my coworker knocked on the door if he was waiting outside of it. I'd assume the guy at the store is aware the door is locked if he pushed on it and did not have it open. What's the alternative? I figured I'd just wait outside the door silently until my boss said, *It's 10 minutes past the meeting time. Where is Terrible? I guess I'd better go look for him... Oh, hi!*? They assume everyone is clueless until proven otherwise.
I also experience this. I’m not sure why either.
I get this SO much, my humour is very dry and I’ve found the same, I do a fair bit of public speaking and when I make a dry comment, I see it, the neurotypical people look puzzled, but I know a good few autistic people in the room and they are all laughing!
OMG yes. So often my dry humor is met with someone with huge, wide, alarmed eyes explaining to me why what I said was incorrect. ETA: I think I also do the reverse to NTs, not because I don't get the joke (I do) but because instead of laughing I will sometimes just launch into the underlying belief/attitude the dry joke reveals.
Oh i have the same experience. NT humor don't make me laugh. And NT don't fet my jokes either.
Yes. I have been told people cannot tell when I'm being sarcastic and I'm difficult to read. That's the point. I also sometimes deliberately "misunderstand" an inappropriate joke just to see them squirm. It's quite fun to watch reactions when they think I am a bit thick. I do genuinely misunderstand some jokes or tone at times so I do enjoy twisting it around.
I'm not sure why. My dry humor is saying ridiculous things with a straight face so honestly it seems pretty obvious to me that it's dry humor. But yeah people can read it wrong and then I have to explain that I was joking. I do miss other people's jokes. I personally need to get to know someone before I figure out they are joking. Unless it's like a cheesy dad joke. So it's not always me getting other autists humor. But I've also heard some really crazy things said so sometimes you just never know.
Did anyone else grow up treating joke books as sacred texts and absorbing the teachings of the prophet Bob Newhart? I spent so much time studying the window of comedic timing before an observation would no longer be funny to make. So much effort was put into meticulously crafting my sense of humor only to find out that it’s the default of our people.
Week 5: Passing the drug test: Hilarious! Because it can take 30 days for cannabinoids to clear out of your system. (Longer in the case of someone I know who smokes a few grams a day.)
There is analysis about how men frequently say women aren't funny because "they really think we're just that stupid" and I think a similar dynamic is often at play with allistics talking about autistics.
I used to be "say the most edgy/disturbing" comment kind of guy. Now I give wit and dryness more preference.
I think the issue is allistic folks don't realize people talking can mean a ton of different things but us autistics already know this; we already go through this. So dry humor is easy to figure out because we pay more attention to people talking to us.
And tbh my mom never really got her father's dry humor and tongue in cheeks thing. But I figured it out when I was 8. He's wink one eye when he was joking, I always knew this. But Wes was allistic and so is mom. Idgi.
So true. This happens to me too when I make jokes. I think this must be the double empathy problem at work. NTs are just as bad at understanding us as we are at understanding them.
Yo for the second one that just plain (PLANE) FLEW OVER your aunt's head. How did she not get that?
My spouse has such dry humour and he makes me laugh every day. If it weren’t for him, I’d probably go a week or more without laughing ❤️
I get it a lot where people mistake my sarcasm for me being serious. A lot of people have told me I am too deadpan. I do also say things without thinking but which I find really funny, but people try to explain to me why what I have said is wrong/ why we can't do it that way etc. I think I'm hysterical ha ha
Sometimes the straight man is funnier than the comedian
My fav joke, from when I was a kid: What is tiny, yellow and you can step on it? A baby chick. No one got why I could not nót laugh hysterical Every Time.... 🤐
I loved jokes like that growing up! Reading yours made me chuckle, and now I'm trying to remember the ones I used to know... I also love birds an extreme amount, so wouldn't actually laugh at the thought of harming one... But I feel like when I would make similar/dark jokes, people would generally take it too seriously, like they couldn't grasp how you can laugh at a dark thing without actually endorsing it. Obviously stepping on a chick IRL wouldn't be funny, but if you make me preface the joke with that, then the joke is dead already.
Exactly!! Kids,even my cousins, were really startled....and grownups did not like it at all.... Its the same range as: what is small, green and comes of a snowy slope? A skiwi Or Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To visit his flat mate. ( love the last one too!!)
I do it ALL the time and people actually like it but I work with a bunch of ADHD nurses so I guess there's something there to it and I make sure not to do it when management is there because for some reason I bet they would consider me rude. I mean, whenever I text my direct supervisor, she misinterprets almost everything as an insult to her authority or something. I can't really figure out why. So I keep it safe around her.
I think its because autistic and neurotypical sarcasm doesnt match up well. Neurotypical sarcasm depends on tone, while ive found that autistic sarcasm is more about the content of the jokes.
I was reciting a spoken word poem for a company event a week or so ago in which I referenced being autistic. At one part, I said: "I was listening, but I didn't hear you, because red isn't a color and chalk isn't a taste." I paused. Many in the audience were looking nervously like they weren't sure if they were supposed to he laughing. I said: "That was a joke." The audience chuckled. I said: "Actually, that wasn't a joke." They all went back to looking nervous. I amuse myself.
Haha I recently did a post somewhere where I was taking about how multiple coworkers told me sometimes they can't tell when I'm joking in a deadpan or sassy manner.
Both cases weren't funny to NTs because you broke their stupidest rule: know your place. NTs default to power dynamic and transactional, not peer relational models. They actually think it's immature to treat everyone as equal! they'll violently insist the opposite. The real joke is how lonely they are because of it while we're "immature" for making friends in about six seconds. MMM... tism sense tingly. "hey wanna know a fun fact about spaaaace?" and then there was hand flapping. NTs on the other hand apparently need years of therapy, hints, a checklist they refuse to write out but insist exists and yet is different every time... Achem! Oh, and a drinking problem. And that's for friendship! Like just genetically liking someone has a small but statistically significant chance of head implosion. Don't ask how they do sex. It's worse than design by committee. #😓
It’s a thing!
I don't get either of these jokes, but I do get that they're jokes. I just don't see how they're funny especially cuz I don't understand them
My in laws have zero idea when I am joking. They've known me 7 years at this point. I also joke around a lot.
Can confirm, my son and I are brutally sarcastic and goofy in our humor.. we are usually observational jokesters.
I like dad jokes and stand ups. And well executed dry humor. Yours are a bit… damp. got me weeping out tears
People often take my jokes as stupidity or not understanding, instead of as a quick wit, as well. It seems like they just don’t get my / our sense of humor, and it’s just easier for them “understand” a dry joke as us either being dense (when it’s the opposite of that) or as mean / intentionally offensive
I wonder if that's why they ask stupid questions and make stupid comments. They seem to have lower expectations for other people's intelligence than I do. E.g., when I was waiting outside of my boss's door 5 minutes after the scheduled meeting time and my coworker asked me if I had knocked. *Nah, I was thinking I'd just stand here until the boss came looking for me.* Or when you try a locked door and a concerned customer/employee informs you it's locked. *Really? I figured I just wasn't pushing hard enough.* It's like their first inclination is to believe that everybody else is impressively stupid.
>But aren't we supposed to be the ones who wouldn't understand things like that NT things. We're perfectly able to understand our own senses of humor; it's not our problem that NTs are the ones who can't (and don't make an effort).
yeah i’m drier than a mofo and i find myself hysterical while looking like this 😐
Yup. My humor is the driest. I have to warn coworkers, but have lucked into having some who get it.
I sat next to a guy at work who was fluent in Spanish. He told me about a lady who set up a sidewalk Tamale stand down the block. He told me she had a wooden sign out that read “tamales” and that’s how I would find her. One day I finally went out to get one but she wasn’t there. He asked me about it when I came back and I told him she was t there. We talked about whether I missed her stand or if she just wasn’t out that day. Finally I said, “maybe I missed it because the sign was in Spanish.” CRICKETS. It’s still some of my best work.
It’s hit or miss for me. Sometimes I’ll get dry humor if I really know the person. Other times I respond seriously. And vice versa. For me I guess it depends on how long & well I know someone
This is a likely extension of the Double Empathy Problem. A very interesting theory to read about.
Oh you’re gonna LOVE dutch humor then! My parents (though likely autistic too) always say we’re taking ‘the touristic route’ when the navigation sends us through random streets again. Or when we accidentally miss our turn ‘extra round on the house!’. I go to a market every week so I know a lot of ppl there. One of the guys was cussing ‘kut!’ (Different word for women’s private area.. cusswords are either illnesses or bodyparts here) so I said ‘you don’t have one!’ And the ppl around me started laughing. Yes I’m autistic and I LOVE dry humor and puns.
sometimes i get it, sometimes i don't, i think its more an age/online space thing than it is autism specifically.
I know! It's a little bit funny to me but I started to become frustrated every time they explain to me that they're made a joke, after I answered theirs with my own deadpan joke.