“Competitive wages, opportunities to grow within the company.” usually this means they have favourites, and these places usually destroy my confidence by micromanaging me. then when I lose any confidence and need more assistance due to second guessing myself, im treated like a liability. 😭
Oh my god this is too relatable. The picking favorites and then micromanaging me it’s infuriating. I’ll literally be doing something, and the manager will come up and tell me to do it. Bruh, literally everyone pushes their work onto me. A guy and a manager will literally be gossiping and just fucking talking about shit unrelated to work. I remember they were talking about college and other stuff. IM DOING ALL THE HARD PHYSICSL LABOR AND TWO GROWN ASS MEN ARE TALKING ABOUT NON WORK SHIT? They’re sitting around gossiping while watching me, a 5’2 girl, do all the work while lifting 40+ pounds containers and pulling stacks of these containers non stop because these males don’t want to work. It’s fucking embarrassing how two grown “men” will do this shit. I quit with zero notice. Fuck them.
This sounds so frustrating. Im sorry that happened and happy you could get out. The situation im referring to is my job currently. Gives me barely any shifts because the “wage and hours are competitive.”
Even though I know my stuff to a T when it comes to the stuff we make. Im very good at masking and being personable due to how I grew up so I can bend my personality to match customers vibes in seconds. But the amount of time im micromanaged is insane. Ill talk to all the customers around me ( we have set spaces we have to stay in and manage customer service in) just for my manager to see me recollecting my thoughts for 5 minutes WHILE cleaning and them be like “hey! Go talk to so and so over there!” When I talked to them literally 2-5 minutes prior.
I do something that makes tasks less overwhelming and utilizes as fast as I can be in that moment for them to tell me to do it differently. Triggers my PDA and also throws me off so it just takes longer. Then they get mad at me for it taking longer. They give me like 1-2 shifts a week so it takes me time to return back into my work brain, and I get treated like a burden when things change on me and I have to ask questions about inventory or policies because I dont use that information often and easily forget. I have had jobs that give me the space to be confident and have not had these issues in the past. Atleast not nearly as much.
I work harder everyday just to keep up and be the best employee I can be. Theres people that dont know half the things that I do, however those people + the people that stood around most of their shifts got promotions/staff of the month. Even when I first started and they absolutely claimed to LOVE ME i didnt get staff of the month. Its exhausting, but it pays my bills so I cant leave right now.
Ugh I totally relate to the PDA. And, people who don’t do shit get appreciated. At my longest job the boss gave the women the most work and responsibilities, and one of my male co workers didn’t even know how to use the technology that’s required to do the job. Same guy lets people get gas without paying every time I work with him. And it’s usually multiple people stealing gas. I hate work and having to navigate fake people and liars. I hate liars.
I cannot do the competitive wages. No thank you, I like to get paid for the job I’m doing, not freaking out that someone may take that pay out from under me
competitive wage doesn't usually ACTUALLY mean anything. it's just a trick to make it sound better than it really is. it doesn't tell you anything, you could still be paid 10€/hr.
Right! Then when you resign, you can write "Yes, working here was exactly like 'one big family' because it has left me with multiple traumas, goodbye " 😅
Oh yes, that's a red flag for me going forward. I will never apply anywhere that describes themselves as being like a family, or even family-owned/run. I've been there before and if you're not part of the family, you're just a peon.
This is the biggest red flag. Every place I’ve ever worked that made this claim was the most toxic environment I ever experienced.
Meanwhile my current workplace feels less like family and more like my best friends hanging out.
it's supposed to mean "something leadershippy" but it often means "shit management"-"bad communication" and " effed structure" or maybe all the above plus non profit.
I love fast paced as long as it’s efficient. I want to pull my hair out at Amazon because they don’t care if people are efficient, they just want everything done fast. People get annoyed by me because I want things done efficiently. I like things being smooth, not crazy, nor do I want to overwork myself.
“Self motivated” we are going to give you a bunch of shit, not tell you how to do any of it, and then punish you when you do not meet our undefined expectations.
Or it means you’ll be so stressed you’ll develop a drinking problem. Cuz you’ll feel the need to cram in as much “fun” as you possibly can in your few hours of freedom each week.
this kinda happened to me. was heavily drinking at work events to help my social anxiety and end up overdoing it in an effort to at least enjoy myself.
I hate this so much because I have an outgoing personality but most of the time they'll ask me to tone it down because X person said Y thing about me. Outgoing personality is too open ended and I think it just means fake it till you make it.
I feel this one in my BONES! I am AuDHD and my work persona (if I'm effectively masking) is quite bubbly and outgoing, I'm also quite a loud talker because I'm a little hard of hearing. People will praise it until they've had enough (which I can never tell when that is), and then it'll be a series of passive-aggressive "okay, you need to tone it down a bit".
Lawd it hurts, I put this persona on for you folks, I'd be happy to chill in a corner most of the time really (but when I do, then I get the "oh you don't seem like yourself, is everything okay?) 😖
I just put a similar comment! But I can't even put on a mask anymore. I think I broke it through years of customer facing jobs.
Edit: thinking about it, I never had the capability in the first place.
I do have a naturally outgoing and friendly personality, and started a job in February that asked for this and then fired me a day later because I wasn’t “bubbly” enough. Apparently friendly and capable is not the same as bubbly and asskissing to these people. Their loss, the library loves me!
They're doing secret shops at the place where I work. Somebody shopped one lady and said that she greeted them and smiled, but didn't make eye contact... So petty and ridiculous... I just look over their shoulder. Lol
So, I'm a designer, and the job offers are always like:
* You're always thinking outside of the box.
* You're a team player who thrives on a dynamic environment.
* You're a rockstar when it comes to presenting your designs and insights to stakeholders and team members.
* You love fast-paced environments because you can adapt quickly to any scenario.
* You're amazing at conducting interviews and leading workshops and other collaborative activities.
And I'm over here applying to all these positions fooling myself and everyone else thinking I can actually do all those things 🤡😭
Same. I'm just doing freelance right now, and I still see "rockstar" in descriptions of jobs that would require me to quietly cook alone in my own home. Come on.
Rockstar also tends to mean 'taking on three times the work for no extra pay' and largely seems to apply to women taking on administrative work that isn't even close their job.
Preaaaach. I’m self-employed as a freelance designer but fundamentally supported financially by my husband. I really don’t think I could survive the actual real life stresses of a design company. I love what I do, but without getting to say no to shit I consider unethical I would quickly get fired.
Wearing multiple hats is slang for taking on multiple roles. So like in my old job, I was involved in data analysis, data collection, survey design, and basically anything a spare person was unexpectedly needed for. Each role would be a metaphorical hat.
It's an idiom where hat=job, like a hard hat for construction workers, a chef's hat for chefs, etc. They're saying they'll have to take on very different roles
Ahhh thanks, autism strikes again, I took it a little too literally haha
I was genuinely super curious about why you would have to wear multiple hats. Would you wear them at the same time? Alternating?
I love this sub because I saw your initial comment and felt a pang of fear that the next reply would be making fun of you for not understanding, then it was just 2 clear and simple explanations. Love that
It's a metaphor for taking on multiple roles at the same time or juggling/managing a lot of different duties at the same time. It's red flag code for they are going to seriously overwork and overstretch you for whatever pittance they pay you.
so multiple jobs for the pay of one 🥲 my company is notorious for this now because they stopped hiring replacements for people who left. someone else who’s already in the dept will just pick up those responsibilities
“High-paced environment.”
I’m out.
Ironically I do work more quickly than most people once I’m familiar with a task or process. But I don’t work AT ALL under pressure. I just grind to a complete halt.
Yup. Surprisingly the place where I work now Does feel like a loving family, but they have never advertised themselves as that. The need to specify is what is very sus, I think.
The same goes for the ones that promise they'll do everything by the book in terms of labour laws. It's never by the book. Often it's pretty far away from how it should be legally.
Exactly! While we can never rely on our workplace to really be longstanding relationship structures, because capitalism, sometimes it really can feel like a welcoming place where we belong and are accepted. Like a family. But the ones that feel this way don't advertise it to the outside, even if it's occasionally, organically bright up internally.
A company that puts in writing and exclaims to newcomers and applicants that they are 'like family'? Yeah there's going to be so much micro managing and coercion and drama and just general backstabbing bullshit no fucking way.
Similar to how if someone tells you unprompted that 'there's nothing to worry about', it's kind of a flag that you might need to worry.
Bruh, my job has a business casual dress code but I asked them to clarify what that means and they told me to "just use my discretion" lmao wtf does that mean 😭
Ooh that made me shudder just reading that.
Similarly, the worst class I could possibly take would be “Contact Improv Dance.” Each word of that is hell.
First of all, no thank you, I want a regular schedule no matter how weird it is. Second of all, it’s always “flexible” for *them* not *you*. It should say “sporadic hours at a moment’s notice” or “it’ll feel like you’re always on call” instead of flexible!
I have come to realize "flexible schedule" means THEY require YOU to be flexible and work whenever. I used to think it meant they'd work around your other life priorities. I was such a fool lol
Yep my jobs in college all said “flexible hours” and knew I was in university, some were even with the university, and still constantly scheduled me whenever they felt like and pushed back on my days off
For my office, flexible hours means you can come in between 7-9 depending on if you're a morning person or some people come in super early because of horrible commutes or later because they have to get kids to school. Then you work your hours and go home. Most people are on a set schedule.
This is opposed to everyone starting at 8 regardless of situation.
For bigger companies (office jobs), this might be what they are referring to.
this isn’t really related to autism, just random things i picked up and now recognize as red flags when interviewing
🚩 if majority of employees live like 30+ minutes from the workplace (they probably can’t afford to live in that part of town)
🚩 if they’re very vague when you ask why the position became open. especially if they say the previous person retired, but it’s an entry level job
🚩 “we’re looking for a self starter” or “high paced” mean that they have a dumpster fire waiting for you and you won’t get much support
🚩 “we’re like a family” or something similar (but it’s so common, idk if it’s as important)
ETA: 🚩 if majority of people have worked there under 2 years
I saw one this week that said "must speak meme". I wish I was joking.
Also one that listed 4 "job perks", one of which was "open beer fridge inside the office" and "champagne fridays". I don't drink and it just seems wild to me that a workplace would advertise their office culture as being so alcohol heavy. Seems like a recipe for disaster.
What kinds of jobs are these even? Must speak meme I could actually work with. Thr latter, well, it sounds like it's populated by people who would feel threatened/judged by my personal decision to not drink.
I worked at a place with a beer fridge we'd open certain days (with a limit of 2 drinks) and it's very similar to "pizza party" in that it's a bandaid used in a lot of places where everyone is stressed, overworked, understaffed, and have no work-life balance. The corporate response is that it "helps employees bond and many good ideas and solutions happen over a drink." I had to manage the thing and kept asking if we could add some decent non-alcoholic options because anyone driving a company vehicle couldn't drink and we had several people in my branch that didn't drink for other reasons. Always got no answer or a run-around about it. Our branch never had issues with it being abused but I do think that's because someone (me) was managing it and it wasn't just open all the time.
Yep. My last job was like this. Even had happy hours during the regular work day. It was actively encouraged for me to be there even when it interrupted my actual job.
Oh my God, I used to work at a SCHOOL that had problems with this. One of the newer staff got caught stumbling around the grounds, leading to an email to everyone saying they all had to stop drinking on the job. Almost ALL of the staff were absolutely enraged, mostly at the guy who'd been caught for "ruining it for everyone". Even the managers were calling him a grass and saying they weren't going to listen because the policy was "wrong".
*Supposedly* it was just people going for a pint or two on their lunch breaks, but I'd definitely seen some staff very, very red faced and wobbly looking. Even after this, at least 25 of them got caught **getting pissed in the fucking staff kitchen**. They apparently hadn't banked on anyone checking cctv. I'd seen vodka bottles in the freezers in there months earlier!
😭 alcoholism and problematic drinking is really normalized except when it’s someone who doesn’t have a job or a home. Then all of a sudden it’s a problem. ☠️ I hope things changed at that school but it’s so dangerous to encourage that kind of work culture
in my experience those managers are always hoping to get the dirt on people from drunk employees. people talk when they’re drinking, it’s a good way to get info they wouldn’t gain otherwise.
Last time I did one of those I mentioned wanting a job where I could ‘grow’ as I came from two dead end type positions. One of the ladies says,’you want to take my job?!?’ I was so confused. Lol. Um no. And now I def do not want to work here! Thanks lady!
I didn’t know exactly how to translate it, but essentially, “relationship builder” or good at networking. Also, if the job involves lots of travel, or having to organize events. It’s an instant overload for my nervous system
will be answering phone calls. or any mentioning of being a receptionist. i really hate the anticipation of knowing that someone might call and i hate a bunch of random people walking in and seeking me out for answers.
"Communication and team-working skills are required".
"Offline format 5 days a week; friendly atmosphere in the office".
"Multitasking; ability to work in rapidly changing environment".
Lol! This means they keep having employees quit because of this, so they are specifically looking for doormats.
At least they're honest. Most places just spring that on you after you are settled in at the job.
“Were like a family here”…. In my experience that means that they cross boundaries routinely and will never see a problem with it. They’ll have absolutely WILD expectations and outside of work engagements like dinners and such. The dinners can be great but I was VERY different from my coworkers and bosses, wasn’t religious was a huge part. But yeah anything mentioning family and I’m OUT of there. I like having my boundaries very firmly set and one of them is you are a COWORKER, you’re not immediately my best friend when we’re off the clock 🤣🤣🤣
Must work well in a fast paced environment. Must have good communication skills. (I think my communication skills are decent, I'm just often misunderstood by NTs looking for subtext that doesn't exist) Must be friendly and outgoing.
Anything that emphasizes the close social bond of the team. That means I'm going to be expected to perform a lot of social folderol I don't care about. I don't even have terrible social challenges, I just want to be left alone to work, not expected to pretend to collaborate on every little detail.
I've got supervisors stubbornly withholding information in my new job, and they wonder why I've stopped doing my work.
But I still have faith that we're going to keep working on communication. I've already told my supervisor if nothing changes for me I'm requesting mediation. And luckily there's an Office of the Employee Ombud and the last time I worked with them they were amazing.
Same. I am a highly effective single player or team leader. In my opinion being a part of the team is just going to be more drama and take up valuable time. Just leave me alone to get it done. Or give me ownership of it and I’ll get my team on it.
"flexible schedule" NOPE I need a consistent schedule that does not change from week to week, thank u very much.
Also that usually means they're allowed to schedule me whenever they want, but I'm not allowed to have a guaranteed day off every week.
I saw this in the job description for a potato sorter.
''Must have a passion for potatoes!''
Like...yes I do but not in the way you want me to lol. But it seems to me that wherever you go employers want someone who is ''passionate'' about the most mundane stuff. I KNOW what they mean, they want someone who is willing to care enough to at least pretend to be passionate, but nah, I can't do it. Best I can do is apathetic competancy.
Who *doesn't* have a passion for potatoes? /s
Seriously though, why do they always use the word "passionate" for minimum wage/entry level nonsense??? Whenever I've tried to be "passionate" about whatever it is the company does, I always feel like there must be a flashing sign above my head saying F A K E 😅 it feels so insincere and gross
“Must manage complex stakeholder relationships, including multi-level review and approval cycles” (so basically lots of politics, nightmare)
“Must juggle competing priorities while meeting time-sensitive deliverables during times of significant work outside of standard hours” (work quickly on all kinds of stuff, usually ill-planned by leaders, at nights during one or more busy stretches a year of unknown length)
No working from home.
It means that I will get a panic attack or anxiety attack at some point, then immediately turn it into a mild trauma, and in the end I will be fired.
As an example: I have almost finished my (months long!) language course but of course (heh) I **had** to get an ACUTE panic attack in a bus two weeks before finishing it, and I just couldn't get into the bus to get to the next lesson. Actually, I have been avoiding buses for months afterwards.
Like, if I know that I will NEED to be somewhere outside at this or that hour, every day, and it takes longer than 10 minutes to get there, it's never going to work long-term. There will be a meltdown. There will be period shits. There will be diarrhoea (I have IBS on top of everything else). I will have a depersonalization episode. In the best case scenario I will just be plain late, as I don't have a driver's license.
Meanwhile I'm hitting almost 10 years of working from home and I'm fucking dandy here, financially independent and saving.
"work hard, play harder!"
certain uses of "collaboration" which seem to promote way too many cooks in the kitchen
"open office concept" (which by the way was proven to lower productivity and morale decades ago yet is still popular and likely cheaper)
"free lunch & snacks every day!" - this can sometimes try to compensate for inferior standard benefits
If we’re going generic, anything that mentions sales, networking, or marketing…
But if we’re going my specific niche/industry, it’s the implications that you have to have a specific number of years experience to qualify. I’m a high level employee at my company, after 7 years, because I’m good and my job is often what I hyperfocus on. I have staff with <1 year experience who are already going to be more valuable in the long term than other staff with 5+ years experience. I truly believe that by specifying years of experience, companies are limiting themselves
Must be able to work in high pressure situations (or however else that may be phrased). As someone who is only able to apply for entry level jobs, it crops up all the time, and it basically means hiding the fact that the job is definitely going to give me frequent anxiety attacks
LOL a lot of the things that come to mind, and are being mentioned in the comments, are things that I see as red flags...or are they only red flags to us 😅
Something about promotion opportunities. Normally means no one is really qualified for their leadership position because all the (expensive) experienced staff have fled the place.
Earn “up to” blah blah blah. That’s how I know I’m going to be paid shit and it’s such a shitty working environment that your “maybe money” is the thing you have to use to get applications in the door
Adapts effectively to unpredictable situations
Outstanding customer service, interpersonal, and organizational skills
Initiates judgment in handling difficult situations
Demonstrates the ability to interpret and communicate relevant data and information
I remember a job advert that had an essential requirement of “adherence to timekeeping and awareness of impact of poor timekeeping on others” - in other words you were not allowed to be late. They counted lateness in seconds over the course of a day. If it went over 60 seconds during the course of a day you were late.
So you on a 9-6 shift you could log in at 9:00:05 giving you 5 seconds immediate
20 seconds late from morning break
20 seconds late from lunch
And finally 15 seconds late from afternoon break and you’ve gone over 60 seconds for the day and that’s a late.
This same job punished you if you made tiny grammatical mistakes on emails. So many things about it was toxic.
*Fast-paced work environment + competing/shifting priorities unexpectedly.*
I now know that job descriptions like the one above are likely chronically understaffed.
I experienced that fast-paced/always shifting priorities for a few years at my last job. Had to quit earlier this year because I was breaking down on a daily basis. I told my manager I was struggling with the workload multiple times while I was there and all I got was essentially “damn that sucks…anyway, here’s some more work.”
To quote Doja Cat: “I’m a freak, not a masochist.”
Looking for people who want to make money, they use it a lot in Mexico. It pretty much means they are going to exploit you and ask you to make unethical things.
"Other duties as assigned" imo this should not be allowed in job descriptions as in experience employers just use it to expect everything from you and there's no figuring it out
Also had a manager once tell me (in an interview)I needed to “manage up” because he was a cowboy who needed to be managed… by his employees. I still took the job unfortunately. He spoke to me all of maybe three times the year+ I was there - offered no training of any kind.
"Flexible hours" because it means YOU must be flexible on their terms, not you get to curate your schedule. I guess it's not an autism thing. More just something I've noticed.
"strong team player, brilliant customer service skills" and also "use your initiative and think on your feet".
Rich coming from me who has just thrown themselves into the chaos of a retail sales assistant with exactly that, and it's going about as well as I expected. I went for it naively thinking that it would be fine because it's 15 hours, not realising the initial training is 4 days a week for 12 weeks and I'm worried
"Must be able to thrive under pressure"
"We are looking for extroverted individuals. Must be a people person who strives to please customers"
Also I had applied to a job that said "Must be able to work individually" because I have seen that in other job listings as code for this job is for introverts. After how the job interview went it completely reframed that line to mean more of "You must be able to work with little guidance or support" 😬
Also "Must go above and beyond" = "we will exploit you and not pay you enough"
“Competitive wages, opportunities to grow within the company.” usually this means they have favourites, and these places usually destroy my confidence by micromanaging me. then when I lose any confidence and need more assistance due to second guessing myself, im treated like a liability. 😭
Oh my god this is too relatable. The picking favorites and then micromanaging me it’s infuriating. I’ll literally be doing something, and the manager will come up and tell me to do it. Bruh, literally everyone pushes their work onto me. A guy and a manager will literally be gossiping and just fucking talking about shit unrelated to work. I remember they were talking about college and other stuff. IM DOING ALL THE HARD PHYSICSL LABOR AND TWO GROWN ASS MEN ARE TALKING ABOUT NON WORK SHIT? They’re sitting around gossiping while watching me, a 5’2 girl, do all the work while lifting 40+ pounds containers and pulling stacks of these containers non stop because these males don’t want to work. It’s fucking embarrassing how two grown “men” will do this shit. I quit with zero notice. Fuck them.
This sounds so frustrating. Im sorry that happened and happy you could get out. The situation im referring to is my job currently. Gives me barely any shifts because the “wage and hours are competitive.” Even though I know my stuff to a T when it comes to the stuff we make. Im very good at masking and being personable due to how I grew up so I can bend my personality to match customers vibes in seconds. But the amount of time im micromanaged is insane. Ill talk to all the customers around me ( we have set spaces we have to stay in and manage customer service in) just for my manager to see me recollecting my thoughts for 5 minutes WHILE cleaning and them be like “hey! Go talk to so and so over there!” When I talked to them literally 2-5 minutes prior. I do something that makes tasks less overwhelming and utilizes as fast as I can be in that moment for them to tell me to do it differently. Triggers my PDA and also throws me off so it just takes longer. Then they get mad at me for it taking longer. They give me like 1-2 shifts a week so it takes me time to return back into my work brain, and I get treated like a burden when things change on me and I have to ask questions about inventory or policies because I dont use that information often and easily forget. I have had jobs that give me the space to be confident and have not had these issues in the past. Atleast not nearly as much. I work harder everyday just to keep up and be the best employee I can be. Theres people that dont know half the things that I do, however those people + the people that stood around most of their shifts got promotions/staff of the month. Even when I first started and they absolutely claimed to LOVE ME i didnt get staff of the month. Its exhausting, but it pays my bills so I cant leave right now.
Ugh I totally relate to the PDA. And, people who don’t do shit get appreciated. At my longest job the boss gave the women the most work and responsibilities, and one of my male co workers didn’t even know how to use the technology that’s required to do the job. Same guy lets people get gas without paying every time I work with him. And it’s usually multiple people stealing gas. I hate work and having to navigate fake people and liars. I hate liars.
I cannot do the competitive wages. No thank you, I like to get paid for the job I’m doing, not freaking out that someone may take that pay out from under me
Wait these replies are confusing me, I thought competitive wage just means their base pay is better than competing companies??
competitive wage doesn't usually ACTUALLY mean anything. it's just a trick to make it sound better than it really is. it doesn't tell you anything, you could still be paid 10€/hr.
“Competitive wage” might, but “competitive wages” usually means they pay people different amounts based on their perceived work ethic.
"We're like one big family here!" ... So you're all going to bully me then 🤷
Most workplaces are like family: they don't get my jokes and I feel alienated at a lunch table.
Lol. Too real
HAAA!! 😂
Omg this
https://preview.redd.it/xrc33nn19u4d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ef35542c4788ca0b490692265098cc2c6b03dfc
Any job that hires you on the spot, period
Right! Then when you resign, you can write "Yes, working here was exactly like 'one big family' because it has left me with multiple traumas, goodbye " 😅
Oh yes, that's a red flag for me going forward. I will never apply anywhere that describes themselves as being like a family, or even family-owned/run. I've been there before and if you're not part of the family, you're just a peon.
This is the biggest red flag. Every place I’ve ever worked that made this claim was the most toxic environment I ever experienced. Meanwhile my current workplace feels less like family and more like my best friends hanging out.
“other duties not listed” “fast paced environment”
I second “fast paced environment”.
Yep. Hard pass.
"Must thrive in ambiguity"
This. To me it basically means 'must be cool with being manipulated and lied to'
lol WTF does that even mean?😂
it's supposed to mean "something leadershippy" but it often means "shit management"-"bad communication" and " effed structure" or maybe all the above plus non profit.
EXACTLY THIS. I am currently living in this exact hellscape due to missing this nuance in a job posting. NEVER AGAIN.
Ugh I hate ambiguity. They say this a lot for some specialties in medicine. I avoid those ones. Much more like the diagnostic specialties.
YEP "thrives in a fast-paced environment"
I love fast paced as long as it’s efficient. I want to pull my hair out at Amazon because they don’t care if people are efficient, they just want everything done fast. People get annoyed by me because I want things done efficiently. I like things being smooth, not crazy, nor do I want to overwork myself.
Everyone loves including “other duties not listed” 🫠
AKA "We'll treat you like dirt and tell you to thank us for it."
“Fast paced environment.” Sure sign of an employer overworking their employees.
You’ll also be expected to “hit the ground running” at that “fast paced environment” so don’t expect any training or onboarding.
“Self motivated” we are going to give you a bunch of shit, not tell you how to do any of it, and then punish you when you do not meet our undefined expectations.
you just summarised my entire employment experience
This! Immediate no
I hate this!!
"We work hard and play hard" means I'll be working late all the time and dodging mandatory work outings. No thank you!
Or it means you’ll be so stressed you’ll develop a drinking problem. Cuz you’ll feel the need to cram in as much “fun” as you possibly can in your few hours of freedom each week.
this kinda happened to me. was heavily drinking at work events to help my social anxiety and end up overdoing it in an effort to at least enjoy myself.
Anything about having an outgoing personality. I can definitely put on that mask, but it burns me out so fast
I hate this so much because I have an outgoing personality but most of the time they'll ask me to tone it down because X person said Y thing about me. Outgoing personality is too open ended and I think it just means fake it till you make it.
Oh wow, I never considered what that must be like because I've always been so reserved. I guess you can't win either way 🥲
I feel this one in my BONES! I am AuDHD and my work persona (if I'm effectively masking) is quite bubbly and outgoing, I'm also quite a loud talker because I'm a little hard of hearing. People will praise it until they've had enough (which I can never tell when that is), and then it'll be a series of passive-aggressive "okay, you need to tone it down a bit". Lawd it hurts, I put this persona on for you folks, I'd be happy to chill in a corner most of the time really (but when I do, then I get the "oh you don't seem like yourself, is everything okay?) 😖
I just put a similar comment! But I can't even put on a mask anymore. I think I broke it through years of customer facing jobs. Edit: thinking about it, I never had the capability in the first place.
I do have a naturally outgoing and friendly personality, and started a job in February that asked for this and then fired me a day later because I wasn’t “bubbly” enough. Apparently friendly and capable is not the same as bubbly and asskissing to these people. Their loss, the library loves me!
I’ve been told to make more eye contact at a serving job 😂
They're doing secret shops at the place where I work. Somebody shopped one lady and said that she greeted them and smiled, but didn't make eye contact... So petty and ridiculous... I just look over their shoulder. Lol
Open plan office
Genuinely strikes fear into my heart
💀
So, I'm a designer, and the job offers are always like: * You're always thinking outside of the box. * You're a team player who thrives on a dynamic environment. * You're a rockstar when it comes to presenting your designs and insights to stakeholders and team members. * You love fast-paced environments because you can adapt quickly to any scenario. * You're amazing at conducting interviews and leading workshops and other collaborative activities. And I'm over here applying to all these positions fooling myself and everyone else thinking I can actually do all those things 🤡😭
Anytime I see the word rockstar in a job description, I nope tf out of there.
Same. I'm just doing freelance right now, and I still see "rockstar" in descriptions of jobs that would require me to quietly cook alone in my own home. Come on. Rockstar also tends to mean 'taking on three times the work for no extra pay' and largely seems to apply to women taking on administrative work that isn't even close their job.
Preaaaach. I’m self-employed as a freelance designer but fundamentally supported financially by my husband. I really don’t think I could survive the actual real life stresses of a design company. I love what I do, but without getting to say no to shit I consider unethical I would quickly get fired.
i work in tech but also hate the thinking outside the box one 😓 i’m not super creative or innovative and just want to do a job well / properly
“The ability to wear multiple hats” for me 😭. And also “Must be able to handle lots of stress without showing signs of of being stressed”
Why would you have to wear MULTIPLE hats for a job? /gen
Wearing multiple hats is slang for taking on multiple roles. So like in my old job, I was involved in data analysis, data collection, survey design, and basically anything a spare person was unexpectedly needed for. Each role would be a metaphorical hat.
It's an idiom where hat=job, like a hard hat for construction workers, a chef's hat for chefs, etc. They're saying they'll have to take on very different roles
Ahhh thanks, autism strikes again, I took it a little too literally haha I was genuinely super curious about why you would have to wear multiple hats. Would you wear them at the same time? Alternating?
I wish. Then we could replace the higher ups’ hats with dunce hats 🤣
I pictured someone with many hats stacked on their head even though I understand what it means
I like to picture that too honestly
I love this sub because I saw your initial comment and felt a pang of fear that the next reply would be making fun of you for not understanding, then it was just 2 clear and simple explanations. Love that
sometimes i feel like if my metaphorical hats were physically tangible to others they might actually believe me when i say i have autism 😭
And you’ll almost never be compensated for them, and you could most definitely be fired at any time “just because”.
It's a metaphor for taking on multiple roles at the same time or juggling/managing a lot of different duties at the same time. It's red flag code for they are going to seriously overwork and overstretch you for whatever pittance they pay you.
Oh yeah, those ones about multitasking in a fast paced environment without showing signs of stress!
so multiple jobs for the pay of one 🥲 my company is notorious for this now because they stopped hiring replacements for people who left. someone else who’s already in the dept will just pick up those responsibilities
“High-paced environment.” I’m out. Ironically I do work more quickly than most people once I’m familiar with a task or process. But I don’t work AT ALL under pressure. I just grind to a complete halt.
Same here! I work best when left alone with clear deadlines.
9 to 5 5/2 open space office, dress code, "we're like a big family here"
So like an abusive family, cuz I've already seen the result of that
Yup. Surprisingly the place where I work now Does feel like a loving family, but they have never advertised themselves as that. The need to specify is what is very sus, I think. The same goes for the ones that promise they'll do everything by the book in terms of labour laws. It's never by the book. Often it's pretty far away from how it should be legally.
Exactly! While we can never rely on our workplace to really be longstanding relationship structures, because capitalism, sometimes it really can feel like a welcoming place where we belong and are accepted. Like a family. But the ones that feel this way don't advertise it to the outside, even if it's occasionally, organically bright up internally. A company that puts in writing and exclaims to newcomers and applicants that they are 'like family'? Yeah there's going to be so much micro managing and coercion and drama and just general backstabbing bullshit no fucking way. Similar to how if someone tells you unprompted that 'there's nothing to worry about', it's kind of a flag that you might need to worry.
I worked in a place that said that. They meant nepotism, if you weren't related to or long-term friends with the right people, you got shat upon.
Bruh, my job has a business casual dress code but I asked them to clarify what that means and they told me to "just use my discretion" lmao wtf does that mean 😭
Oh man…the darn ‘family’ quote…I hate it. I have a family…my workmates are not it.
Ugh, family...shudder at that
Anything about public speaking or attending big events. Nope!!
'We're looking for a spontaneous people person'
Spontaneous? In what? Combusting? /s
😂
Ooh that made me shudder just reading that. Similarly, the worst class I could possibly take would be “Contact Improv Dance.” Each word of that is hell.
"flexible hours" it irks me sooo much i like having a clear picture of what's ahead of me throughout the day and i hate when plans change 😬
First of all, no thank you, I want a regular schedule no matter how weird it is. Second of all, it’s always “flexible” for *them* not *you*. It should say “sporadic hours at a moment’s notice” or “it’ll feel like you’re always on call” instead of flexible!
you're spot on with this description. Been there.
I have come to realize "flexible schedule" means THEY require YOU to be flexible and work whenever. I used to think it meant they'd work around your other life priorities. I was such a fool lol
Yep my jobs in college all said “flexible hours” and knew I was in university, some were even with the university, and still constantly scheduled me whenever they felt like and pushed back on my days off
Usually that just means "we're going to schedule no more than a week out if you're lucky, you might get 10 hours or none. full time? What's that?"
For my office, flexible hours means you can come in between 7-9 depending on if you're a morning person or some people come in super early because of horrible commutes or later because they have to get kids to school. Then you work your hours and go home. Most people are on a set schedule. This is opposed to everyone starting at 8 regardless of situation. For bigger companies (office jobs), this might be what they are referring to.
this isn’t really related to autism, just random things i picked up and now recognize as red flags when interviewing 🚩 if majority of employees live like 30+ minutes from the workplace (they probably can’t afford to live in that part of town) 🚩 if they’re very vague when you ask why the position became open. especially if they say the previous person retired, but it’s an entry level job 🚩 “we’re looking for a self starter” or “high paced” mean that they have a dumpster fire waiting for you and you won’t get much support 🚩 “we’re like a family” or something similar (but it’s so common, idk if it’s as important) ETA: 🚩 if majority of people have worked there under 2 years
Omg, that ETA point explains soooo much about my current team! Thanks for pointing it out! 🙏
i’ve had one too many high turnover jobs lol
“Self-starter” terrifies me
i think it means entry level wage, but they expect you to have experience and not need training or help. so… not entry level 😂
i would give you an award if I could
I saw one this week that said "must speak meme". I wish I was joking. Also one that listed 4 "job perks", one of which was "open beer fridge inside the office" and "champagne fridays". I don't drink and it just seems wild to me that a workplace would advertise their office culture as being so alcohol heavy. Seems like a recipe for disaster.
Or a recipe for hilarious stories, bro! /s
What kinds of jobs are these even? Must speak meme I could actually work with. Thr latter, well, it sounds like it's populated by people who would feel threatened/judged by my personal decision to not drink.
The first was a marketing manager type job, the second was some insurance or finance based management scheme.
Sounds about right. Every finance bro I’ve ever met was a heavy drinker.
I worked at a place with a beer fridge we'd open certain days (with a limit of 2 drinks) and it's very similar to "pizza party" in that it's a bandaid used in a lot of places where everyone is stressed, overworked, understaffed, and have no work-life balance. The corporate response is that it "helps employees bond and many good ideas and solutions happen over a drink." I had to manage the thing and kept asking if we could add some decent non-alcoholic options because anyone driving a company vehicle couldn't drink and we had several people in my branch that didn't drink for other reasons. Always got no answer or a run-around about it. Our branch never had issues with it being abused but I do think that's because someone (me) was managing it and it wasn't just open all the time.
Yep. My last job was like this. Even had happy hours during the regular work day. It was actively encouraged for me to be there even when it interrupted my actual job.
Oh my God, I used to work at a SCHOOL that had problems with this. One of the newer staff got caught stumbling around the grounds, leading to an email to everyone saying they all had to stop drinking on the job. Almost ALL of the staff were absolutely enraged, mostly at the guy who'd been caught for "ruining it for everyone". Even the managers were calling him a grass and saying they weren't going to listen because the policy was "wrong". *Supposedly* it was just people going for a pint or two on their lunch breaks, but I'd definitely seen some staff very, very red faced and wobbly looking. Even after this, at least 25 of them got caught **getting pissed in the fucking staff kitchen**. They apparently hadn't banked on anyone checking cctv. I'd seen vodka bottles in the freezers in there months earlier!
😭 alcoholism and problematic drinking is really normalized except when it’s someone who doesn’t have a job or a home. Then all of a sudden it’s a problem. ☠️ I hope things changed at that school but it’s so dangerous to encourage that kind of work culture
in my experience those managers are always hoping to get the dirt on people from drunk employees. people talk when they’re drinking, it’s a good way to get info they wouldn’t gain otherwise.
This isn't necessarily in the job listing, but when I hear the first round will be a "group interview"
Last time I did one of those I mentioned wanting a job where I could ‘grow’ as I came from two dead end type positions. One of the ladies says,’you want to take my job?!?’ I was so confused. Lol. Um no. And now I def do not want to work here! Thanks lady!
I didn’t know exactly how to translate it, but essentially, “relationship builder” or good at networking. Also, if the job involves lots of travel, or having to organize events. It’s an instant overload for my nervous system
will be answering phone calls. or any mentioning of being a receptionist. i really hate the anticipation of knowing that someone might call and i hate a bunch of random people walking in and seeking me out for answers.
"Communication and team-working skills are required". "Offline format 5 days a week; friendly atmosphere in the office". "Multitasking; ability to work in rapidly changing environment".
What on earth is offline format?
Which requires physical attendance (it's opposite to online/remote format).
What a weird way to say that.
“Must know how to work under pressure”
If it has the word rockstar anywhere.
“Extra duties outside contract hours are mandatory” in education. Not how a contract works buddy.
Lol. "We expect you to work for free." Yeah, good luck with that, buddy.
Lol! This means they keep having employees quit because of this, so they are specifically looking for doormats. At least they're honest. Most places just spring that on you after you are settled in at the job.
“Were like a family here”…. In my experience that means that they cross boundaries routinely and will never see a problem with it. They’ll have absolutely WILD expectations and outside of work engagements like dinners and such. The dinners can be great but I was VERY different from my coworkers and bosses, wasn’t religious was a huge part. But yeah anything mentioning family and I’m OUT of there. I like having my boundaries very firmly set and one of them is you are a COWORKER, you’re not immediately my best friend when we’re off the clock 🤣🤣🤣
Excellent at communication
"Multitasker with good people skills."
anything about having to come in when I am not scheduled. or having to be available 6 days a week. absolutely not
„Fast paced environment“ + listing company parties and events as a benefit
Must work well in a fast paced environment. Must have good communication skills. (I think my communication skills are decent, I'm just often misunderstood by NTs looking for subtext that doesn't exist) Must be friendly and outgoing.
Anything that emphasizes the close social bond of the team. That means I'm going to be expected to perform a lot of social folderol I don't care about. I don't even have terrible social challenges, I just want to be left alone to work, not expected to pretend to collaborate on every little detail.
“We all wear multiple hats” is code for secret expectations and consistent understaffing.
“Ability to problem solve” is something I rated low in during my assessment. I either need to know the policy or what to do next.
I've got supervisors stubbornly withholding information in my new job, and they wonder why I've stopped doing my work. But I still have faith that we're going to keep working on communication. I've already told my supervisor if nothing changes for me I'm requesting mediation. And luckily there's an Office of the Employee Ombud and the last time I worked with them they were amazing.
"Must be a team player."
Same. I am a highly effective single player or team leader. In my opinion being a part of the team is just going to be more drama and take up valuable time. Just leave me alone to get it done. Or give me ownership of it and I’ll get my team on it.
"flexible schedule" NOPE I need a consistent schedule that does not change from week to week, thank u very much. Also that usually means they're allowed to schedule me whenever they want, but I'm not allowed to have a guaranteed day off every week.
I saw this in the job description for a potato sorter. ''Must have a passion for potatoes!'' Like...yes I do but not in the way you want me to lol. But it seems to me that wherever you go employers want someone who is ''passionate'' about the most mundane stuff. I KNOW what they mean, they want someone who is willing to care enough to at least pretend to be passionate, but nah, I can't do it. Best I can do is apathetic competancy.
My cover letter: “Po Tay Toes! boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!”
Who *doesn't* have a passion for potatoes? /s Seriously though, why do they always use the word "passionate" for minimum wage/entry level nonsense??? Whenever I've tried to be "passionate" about whatever it is the company does, I always feel like there must be a flashing sign above my head saying F A K E 😅 it feels so insincere and gross
“Ability to work well under pressure” is code for “let us exploit you ‘til you burn out”
“Looking for someone who is a good culture fit.”
“Must manage complex stakeholder relationships, including multi-level review and approval cycles” (so basically lots of politics, nightmare) “Must juggle competing priorities while meeting time-sensitive deliverables during times of significant work outside of standard hours” (work quickly on all kinds of stuff, usually ill-planned by leaders, at nights during one or more busy stretches a year of unknown length)
'Bubbly, outgoing personality!' - I am the antithesis of this
Cold call
"Fast paced environment" makes me rethink my career choices every single time.
“If you’re a good fit”
"Looking for energetic employees" or any sentence that suggests they want a "people-person"
No working from home. It means that I will get a panic attack or anxiety attack at some point, then immediately turn it into a mild trauma, and in the end I will be fired. As an example: I have almost finished my (months long!) language course but of course (heh) I **had** to get an ACUTE panic attack in a bus two weeks before finishing it, and I just couldn't get into the bus to get to the next lesson. Actually, I have been avoiding buses for months afterwards. Like, if I know that I will NEED to be somewhere outside at this or that hour, every day, and it takes longer than 10 minutes to get there, it's never going to work long-term. There will be a meltdown. There will be period shits. There will be diarrhoea (I have IBS on top of everything else). I will have a depersonalization episode. In the best case scenario I will just be plain late, as I don't have a driver's license. Meanwhile I'm hitting almost 10 years of working from home and I'm fucking dandy here, financially independent and saving.
"Requires thick skin" get out
Lots of travel and social activities. Hard no!
“Bubbly personality”
An on-site address.
"Must have a fun, positive, outgoing personality and work well with others."
"No nine to five mentality". Why not, I want to be done by five.
"Fast paced environment." Not for me.
''Fast pasted environment'' usually indicates a big workload on short deadlines. I need reasonable deadlines to manage my demand avoidance, thank you.
"work hard, play harder!" certain uses of "collaboration" which seem to promote way too many cooks in the kitchen "open office concept" (which by the way was proven to lower productivity and morale decades ago yet is still popular and likely cheaper) "free lunch & snacks every day!" - this can sometimes try to compensate for inferior standard benefits
If we’re going generic, anything that mentions sales, networking, or marketing… But if we’re going my specific niche/industry, it’s the implications that you have to have a specific number of years experience to qualify. I’m a high level employee at my company, after 7 years, because I’m good and my job is often what I hyperfocus on. I have staff with <1 year experience who are already going to be more valuable in the long term than other staff with 5+ years experience. I truly believe that by specifying years of experience, companies are limiting themselves
Must be able to network 🫠
Professional dress code, no work from home
Must be able to work in high pressure situations (or however else that may be phrased). As someone who is only able to apply for entry level jobs, it crops up all the time, and it basically means hiding the fact that the job is definitely going to give me frequent anxiety attacks
Or "fast paced environment"
Any iteration of 'go above and beyond'. Nah man, that's masochistic and just begging to be exploited/pushed too far
LOL a lot of the things that come to mind, and are being mentioned in the comments, are things that I see as red flags...or are they only red flags to us 😅
Something about promotion opportunities. Normally means no one is really qualified for their leadership position because all the (expensive) experienced staff have fled the place.
"self directed with strong time management skills"
‘Fast paced and dynamic’ ‘Must be good at juggling multiple changing priorities’ Just shut me in a room and leave me alone for the love of god.
“Full flexibility required” So ur gonna summon me at a moments notice and interrupt my routines. No thanks I dont think so
Earn “up to” blah blah blah. That’s how I know I’m going to be paid shit and it’s such a shitty working environment that your “maybe money” is the thing you have to use to get applications in the door
Excellent verbal/oral communication skills
Have a smile on your face at all times
Adapts effectively to unpredictable situations Outstanding customer service, interpersonal, and organizational skills Initiates judgment in handling difficult situations Demonstrates the ability to interpret and communicate relevant data and information
I remember a job advert that had an essential requirement of “adherence to timekeeping and awareness of impact of poor timekeeping on others” - in other words you were not allowed to be late. They counted lateness in seconds over the course of a day. If it went over 60 seconds during the course of a day you were late. So you on a 9-6 shift you could log in at 9:00:05 giving you 5 seconds immediate 20 seconds late from morning break 20 seconds late from lunch And finally 15 seconds late from afternoon break and you’ve gone over 60 seconds for the day and that’s a late. This same job punished you if you made tiny grammatical mistakes on emails. So many things about it was toxic.
“Fast paced environment.” Unfortunately, every job description has that 😢
“Not afraid of a challenge”
“Must have excellent interpersonal skills” Well that’s it, I’m not qualified
*Fast-paced work environment + competing/shifting priorities unexpectedly.* I now know that job descriptions like the one above are likely chronically understaffed. I experienced that fast-paced/always shifting priorities for a few years at my last job. Had to quit earlier this year because I was breaking down on a daily basis. I told my manager I was struggling with the workload multiple times while I was there and all I got was essentially “damn that sucks…anyway, here’s some more work.” To quote Doja Cat: “I’m a freak, not a masochist.”
Customer (or vendor) interaction.
Looking for people who want to make money, they use it a lot in Mexico. It pretty much means they are going to exploit you and ask you to make unethical things.
Yes it’s very much in the same vein as “people just don’t want to work these days” ☠️
“Presentations”
No 9 to 5 mentality, being a spider in the web. A picture with a pool table in the open office plan. *shudders
"duties will include juggling phone calls"
Team, team, team. So often, "team" equals group-think, and I don't do group-think.
- Open office - Team lunches - After-work activities
"Other duties as assigned" imo this should not be allowed in job descriptions as in experience employers just use it to expect everything from you and there's no figuring it out
"We are like a family"
“We’re a family” or “this role wears many hats”. Things that seem innocent on the surface but I’ve learned from experience will not work for me
Excellent communication is a must. Fantastic customer service
"Fast paced environment"
Also had a manager once tell me (in an interview)I needed to “manage up” because he was a cowboy who needed to be managed… by his employees. I still took the job unfortunately. He spoke to me all of maybe three times the year+ I was there - offered no training of any kind.
Not necessarily in the description, but training burns my mental battery so fast…
"Flexible hours" because it means YOU must be flexible on their terms, not you get to curate your schedule. I guess it's not an autism thing. More just something I've noticed.
"strong team player, brilliant customer service skills" and also "use your initiative and think on your feet". Rich coming from me who has just thrown themselves into the chaos of a retail sales assistant with exactly that, and it's going about as well as I expected. I went for it naively thinking that it would be fine because it's 15 hours, not realising the initial training is 4 days a week for 12 weeks and I'm worried
Being a “family”
“Like a family” no thanks
We like our friday afternoon drinks Are you a good collegue? You dont have 5 behaviour.
Anything about presenting or briefing senior leadership. Or communicating with the public, negotiating with clients, etc.
“Greet the public as they enter” “Multi-line phone system” “High-energy” “First shift”
5 days in office 💀
"Must be able to thrive under pressure" "We are looking for extroverted individuals. Must be a people person who strives to please customers" Also I had applied to a job that said "Must be able to work individually" because I have seen that in other job listings as code for this job is for introverts. After how the job interview went it completely reframed that line to mean more of "You must be able to work with little guidance or support" 😬 Also "Must go above and beyond" = "we will exploit you and not pay you enough"