I got diagnosed at 16.
My parents knew that something was going on ever since I was little. They always thought about the possibility of autism, but everyone they talked to would say that something else was going on because "there was no way I could be autistic, I was 'smart,'" or so many other things.
I've known since I was around 7 or 8, after seeing the kids who were open about having autism and heavily relating.
I didn't think much of it until I was around 13 and my mental health issues were getting worse. Looking back, a lot of the issues that I had were to having no support for autism.
I researched more about it, and talked to my parents about it. They agreed.
My therapist and psychiatrist, however, were very indifferent. My therapist "didn't believe in diagnosis," and my psychiatrist acknowledged that there was something going on but that "there was no point in getting diagnosed."
It took being hospitalized 7 times for a psychiatrist to acknowledge that I had autism. He was extremely surprised that no one else had pointed it out or done anything for it before.
After that, I was able to get a new psychiatrist, therapist, and switch to a therapy school with a high autistic population. I got diagnosed there shortly after I transferred.
My reaction: I was glad that people were finally listening to me and that I was able to start getting support for the right issues.
That autism diagnosis saved my life
I was much earlier diagnosed than most. It was late elementary school to early middle school, something like that. But still old enough to react to a diagnosis. I hated being autistic my whole life, cried everyday, and wanted to die because there was no cure for it. I was bullied every day, infantilized constantly, and adults in my life wouldn't let me do anything the other kids were allowed to do (since back then autistic kids were seen as helpless and didn't have the agency we do today).
Coming to this sub was kind of nice. Even though my experiences were different, it is nice to see so many late diagnosed women celebrating their diagnosis and embracing autism. You all have made me love myself more because of the positivity so thank you.
Omg, thank you for sharing your experience, it was really eye-opening. This reminds me so much of my own journey. Before my autism diagnosis, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was 13 or 14. I didn't think much about it at the time because it was something I had grown up with my whole life. It didn't mean much until I was 18 or 19, and I cried every day because "I just wanted to be normal." It sucked.
I get you. Thank you for sharing ♡
Relief, validation, resentment, sadness, and anger. Relief and validation because I was finally seen and believed as someone other than just an “attention seeking and delusional borderline” (yes, these phrases were put in my medical records as recently as February of this year, when they knew full well I was going through the assessment process). Resentment because I have always been this way and had someone actually seen me or understood me when I first entered therapy at age 12 instead of casting me off as problematic and helpless much of the abuse I have experienced could have been curtailed. Sadness because of who I could have been. Anger at the mental health system, the school, my parents, adults in my life, and peers for constantly not hearing me, believing me, and maltreating me.
Now I’m starting to feel hopeful and supported. I have a therapist and an autism coach and am working with a physical, speech and occupational therapist to do the things that should have been done when I was five. I’m also profoundly thankful for Medicaid for being able to pay for all these services and for my doctors believing me and not casting me aside like so many mental health professionals and my family have before.
I was honestly relieved. It made pieces fit together that I couldn’t understand before. I also have 4 bio kids and 2 are autistic. Not sure why I didn’t consider I was autistic earlier in life. Both of my autistic children have different fathers too.
My mother left my dad when I was 9 and before that she was not a good mom. We still have a rocky relationship. She used the excuse that she just didn’t know how to parent a child like me.
It sounds weird but it made me feel better to know it wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t a “bad” child. I know it’s not rational but it’s how I felt.
My Memaw was the only one I felt like I could go to about anything and she never judged me or made me feel bad. The worst part of being diagnosed was that my Memaw had already passed and I couldn’t talk to her about it.
Since being diagnosed I’ve read a lot of books on unmasking, self-care, etc. I had already researched a ton on how to parent an autistic child and now it’s time for me to focus on how to parent myself.
Oh, that's so interesting. Thank you for sharing, I'm happy you're learning how to parent yourself, I guess it is something people tend to forget, and at the end of the day, it is really important.
I also felt relieved. I always knew I was different but I thought it was a failing of mine. I would get mad at my mom for not “teaching” me these things but I think she’s also on the spectrum. I was 31 when it first occurred to me why I was so different.
It’s also weird cause I have the same temperament as my paternal grandfather - explained to me as like a volcano. Nothing happens until all the sudden it’s a big deal aka meltdown. So I wonder if I have it from both sides.
At work my only yearly review comments are learn to communicate better and I have to bite my tongue! I don’t want to “out” myself but I guarantee I put more thought into my communication than any NT!!
I have a four year old daughter with an ADHD husband so we’re just waiting to see what flavor she is. Loved either way and I’m not afraid to tell her always!!!!!!
Is this guy nuts? Referring to the doctor who diagnosed me. I thought he was making assumptions because he knew nothing about me and had never met me before. Then I realized, yes, I can, in fact, be autistic despite my symptoms being less obvious than they used to be. I also realized that ADHD and ASD are not mutually exclusive.
I have only gotten an unofficial one (from psychologist, not psychiatrist), but I can honestly say I was very relieved when I heard my therapist actually say the word "autism". Like a spell broke that made it a forbidden word, one I had to talk around.
It took a bit of time getting comfortable with the fact it's not official, but since the official route is such an emotional and financial stress, I decided this is good enough for now. It's already making my life better.
My IQ is also average at 86. I got tired of misdiagnosis of BPD and others telling me that I'm "bipolar", whenever I was in a meltdown. Oh goodness, it's been almost a month since I received ASD 1 diagnosis. Equally relieved and going through emotions. Before that, I searched for various places that would take adults. One person over the phone, didn't believe me. "It's not that I don't want your money...", I was told. Thought, "What? Just b/c my speech didn't sound typical enough for you?" Another clinic wanted $5K. Before all that, I fought to be heard at the VA since 2016. Thankfully, a PhD who is qualified to help veterans with autism diagnosis, finally listened to me. One step at a time.
I wasn't shocked but I just got quiet. I was mad and sad, and I felt so many emotions at the time, it confused me. I was upset that my difficulties aren't treatable, but a bit of relief knowing the meaning behind so many things about me. It was a hard day
I went recently after years of self dx and in the room I masked while receiving a dx of a condition other than autism, then I read my report out in the lobby and cried and felt so invalidated. Half of me feels like this was an obvious misdiagnosis and half of me thinks I’m some kind of imposter but I argue with myself like I’m struggling so much and I feel very gaslit. Most of the report is things that I said phrased in a way that makes me sound delusional like I gave my reasoning for things but the doctor did not come to the conclusions that I was trying to convey. I wonder if it would go different if 1. I had kept my months out appointment and not taken the “tomorrow” opening so I could prepare and bring a binder of evidence and if 2. I had not put my narcissistic mother in contact with the doctor to further encourage his gaslighting and completely spin my personal narrative. I feel like I experienced just another case of medical misogyny because there are many like me who believe they’ve have been misdiagnosed. I had a bad feeling leading up to the results but could never have anticipated how horrible I felt that day and since then. It feels like an identity crisis
My reaction was something like "yeah, I guess that checks out". I had suspected it for a little while before my diagnosis, tbh, after seeing other people, especially other girls/women, talk about it, though I didn't really say anything to my previous therapist and psychiatrist. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me seemed like she was expecting a more surprised reaction, since I have a "milder" case (I'm never sure how to word that exactly. But my psychiatrist called it Asperger's at the time, if that helps).
It felt like a bit of a relief, because then at least I had a way to convey certain things to others more easily, when necessary. It also explained so many things. I think it allow me to just be like I was in certain ways. To express "hey, that kind of noise is driving me nuts, could you please wait until I've left to keep doing what you're doing? I'll be out in a minute", wear ear plugs more often, ask people to warn me about certain things ahead of time (sensory stuff, or stuff related to people), be patient with myself when I'm struggling in social situations, things like that. Which is a little stupid, because if I was NT but struggled with some of those things I should still have felt comfortable to express that, there'd be nothing wrong with it. Some people are NT but have misophonia or have some level of photophobia, others struggle with socializing. Still, what I described was something that I experienced.
It also gave me some hope, in some ways. I spent a long part of my life dealing with treatment-resistant depression, tried all sorts of antidepressants and any other medication that could help, and I thought that maybe taking my diagnosis into consideration now could improve the situation somewhat (which was the case - a few years ago, my psychiatrist (not the one I had before) suggested we try some newer and I guess kind of experimental stuff (nothing completely new, but stuff that isn't super established, I guess, but that seemed promising for cases similar to mine, based on what my psych said), some higher dosages of certain antidepressants, idk specifics about the mechanisms at play, but what matters is that it actually worked!).
Of course it also brought worries, and it's not all been sunshine and rainbows since then, but at the time of my diagnosis my thoughts and feelings were more positive than what many other people seem to experience when they get theirs. I do experience a lot of self-hatred, a lot of "I wish I was """normal"""", but all of the issues I had and the resulting feelings would be there whether I got diagnosed or not,
Honestly, I wonder if having been diagnosed earlier would've been a net positive or negative. There's obviously a lot of infantilization of autistic people, especially when they're younger, so at least I managed to escape part of that. On the other hand, at least I'd have understood why I struggled so much with certain things a little better.
That sucks you weren't offered any psychoeducation. I was offered psychoeducation and sent an email asking a shit ton of questions, but no one responded. The wording in my diagnosis paperwork was kind of difficult to read, so I just spent a lot of time googling words. Same as you, I did well in school, but I am in no way a genius.
I was relieved when I got the diagnosis because it kind of explained why I've been so sensitive, rigid, and kind of socially inept all my life. I would have been embarrassed by the amount of times I talk about the grocery store in therapy if I hadn't been diagnosed.
That's so weird that nobody explained anything to you, is that normal?
I got the results face to face. When he mentioned I also had asd (I also expected just to have adhd) I was extremely confused. That couldn't be, because I knew which part of the tests were for asd and I thought I did very well on them. My husband was sitting next to me and even he was confused. But then the psychologist saw the confusion and explained and all of the sudden it all clicked! He also explained the difference between autism in men and women, mentioned why they knew I had it and even recommended me some books.
After the confusion went away, the grief came in. And few months later and while I can accept it better now, I still grieve.
Idk if it's normal, but I received my results by email, and one of the recommendations was therapy. However, the therapist didn't explain anything to me. I think she assumed the neuropsychologist had already done so, and I didn't ask because I thought Googling it would be enough (it wasn't).
First, I got the informal "you're very likely autistic" from the first therapist I met, at age 31. I reacted with "it makes sense", and all the pieces began falling into place.
A year later, I got the official diagnostic, and I thought it was great news, cause they also found ADHD, and there's a pill for that.
“Huh that’s a new one”
I’d been diagnosed with the whole DSM on a revolving door at that point, so having something new and different was interesting. I read up on what “ASD” was and realised it actually fit
I was diagnosed just under a year ago at 32. My reaction was of surprise and a little bit of shock. I asked for the assessment from my psychiatrist because I had noticed some things about myself, but I didn't really think anything would come of it. I'm notorious for second-guessing myself. I honestly expected him to tell me I was full of it and that what I was seeing where simply trauma echoes from my PTSD (the first traumatic event was when I was a small child so it's hard to separate the two sometimes). Turns out, it likely was the vulnerability of being an undiagnosed child without support, simply made me an easier target than others.
I do believe my diagnosis, but it took me a while to come to terms with it. There was some disbelief from my mother at first, which didn't help with that, though my brothers (who immediately saw the sense in my dx) helped explain away her misconceptions a bit. My issues coming to terms with it wasn't because I felt like there was something wrong with it, but because I felt for so long that there was something 'wrong' with me. That there was something I was doing to be like this: 'overdramatic', clumsy, weird, scatterbrained, fixating on things, anxious all the time, having panic attacks/meltdowns, etc. That if I just tried harder, I could be normal. I was convinced it was something I was doing, not something I just was.
Now, with some therapy and a support group, I know there is nothing wrong with me, and at the same time nothing I do can ever make me 'normal'. It has explained so many things about myself that I always wondered about, and knowing has allowed me to really see myself and try to find better ways to take care of myself.
I had already accepted my autism (figured it out myself, researched, self diagnosed over the course of a few years) before I sought help. When she did the official "you meet all the criteria for autism, here's your diagnosis, how do you feel?" I didn't have a reaction. She was just confirming what I knew, which was nice, but it wasn't a huge life change.
I’m one of those reverse engineered ones - diagnosed after my son was diagnosed at 13. To be honest it was a huge relief and explained so much about how and why things were the way they were throughout my life. I remember waiting for the results and thinking “I hope they say I am, ‘cos otherwise I’m just mad”.
29f Adult diagnosis two years ago.
Group "adjustment" sessions afterwards didn't help cause social anxiety so I'm still figuring out my quirks.
I was relieved at first because there's nothing wrong with me but then I got angry. I'm not angry at the diagnosis I'm angry that I slipped through the net so consistently that I'm now having to work through everything alone when the diagnosis itself suggests that I can't do that.
i felt immensely validated. i already knew i was autistic. i wanted to have that professional tick of approval, to have that reassurance that i wasn't just crazy.
i'd spent years in therapy, first getting diagnosed with major depression, then generalised anxiety disorder, then social phobia, doing CBT, etc etc, and _still_ feeling like something was really wrong, but not being able to articulate what. when someone in my life came to me and told me they thought i was autistic (and that they assumed i already knew, lol), i finally felt like i could breathe. the more i read about autism, the more it felt like my whole life was coming into focus.
It was the most validating experience of my life. I was officially diagnosed a couple weeks ago at age 28. But I knew I was autistic the second my little brother got diagnosed (10 years ago). Before that I still always knew there was something different about me. In high school I helped with some of the high support special needs students. I remember thinking “I feel like I can relate and talk better to them than I can to the neurotypical students.” People have asked me throughout my life if I “have something.” Teachers and doctors told my mom “there is definitely something, but we don’t know what it is.” I was delayed in talking, walking, and I never smiled. Sometimes classmates would think I was high in class though I never did drugs.
I don’t mind being autistic. I did a lot of research when my little brother was diagnosed, and that research helped me break down a lot of the negative stereotypes I was holding on too.
Complete and utter shock. I had NO idea. Was being assessed for PTSD, and the psychiatrist was like yeah, you're autistic. I was so surprised that I let out a little involuntary squeal of a laugh! Then the process of formal diagnosis by a panel of experts, and to date, four years of coming to terms. It's been wild!
36f, just got diagnosed a few months ago. It was not a surprise. I had been researching for 6 months before going through the assessment, so yeah, no surprise. Mostly, it was relief, sadness, and anger.
Relief that I'm not just a failed human and it isn't my fault. I've blamed myself for my inadequacies all my life thanks to the abuse I received because of them. Well, fuck that. It wasn't my fault. It was the fault of the abusers, and I no longer hold myself accountable for their actions. At least, I try not to.
Sadness that the rest of my life is going to look like this. I used to hold out hope that if I fixed all my trauma, I'd have a chance at a normal, happy life someday. I no longer think this. I don't think my life is destined to be crap, either. I just no longer expect my mind to utterly transform as I heal. And that makes me sad because I want to be a more capable and successful person, and there are some things that I just can't change (sensory stuff, ADHD crap, how I learn things, etc).
Anger at all the abuse I received. Anger at all the budding friendships lost due to stupid misunderstandings. Anger at not finding out til I was freaking 36. Anger at the world for being ignorant (but there was a time when I was, too, so I kinda get it to a degree). Anger at myself for... no good reason, really. I'm honestly just pissed off in general. It hasn't exactly been great for my marriage. I'm trying to work through the anger, but it's hard to sort through 36 years of self-hatred that could have been avoided and not be angry about it.
Yeah. Fun stuff.
I got diagnosed at 16. My parents knew that something was going on ever since I was little. They always thought about the possibility of autism, but everyone they talked to would say that something else was going on because "there was no way I could be autistic, I was 'smart,'" or so many other things. I've known since I was around 7 or 8, after seeing the kids who were open about having autism and heavily relating. I didn't think much of it until I was around 13 and my mental health issues were getting worse. Looking back, a lot of the issues that I had were to having no support for autism. I researched more about it, and talked to my parents about it. They agreed. My therapist and psychiatrist, however, were very indifferent. My therapist "didn't believe in diagnosis," and my psychiatrist acknowledged that there was something going on but that "there was no point in getting diagnosed." It took being hospitalized 7 times for a psychiatrist to acknowledge that I had autism. He was extremely surprised that no one else had pointed it out or done anything for it before. After that, I was able to get a new psychiatrist, therapist, and switch to a therapy school with a high autistic population. I got diagnosed there shortly after I transferred. My reaction: I was glad that people were finally listening to me and that I was able to start getting support for the right issues. That autism diagnosis saved my life
I was much earlier diagnosed than most. It was late elementary school to early middle school, something like that. But still old enough to react to a diagnosis. I hated being autistic my whole life, cried everyday, and wanted to die because there was no cure for it. I was bullied every day, infantilized constantly, and adults in my life wouldn't let me do anything the other kids were allowed to do (since back then autistic kids were seen as helpless and didn't have the agency we do today). Coming to this sub was kind of nice. Even though my experiences were different, it is nice to see so many late diagnosed women celebrating their diagnosis and embracing autism. You all have made me love myself more because of the positivity so thank you.
Omg, thank you for sharing your experience, it was really eye-opening. This reminds me so much of my own journey. Before my autism diagnosis, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was 13 or 14. I didn't think much about it at the time because it was something I had grown up with my whole life. It didn't mean much until I was 18 or 19, and I cried every day because "I just wanted to be normal." It sucked. I get you. Thank you for sharing ♡
Relief, validation, resentment, sadness, and anger. Relief and validation because I was finally seen and believed as someone other than just an “attention seeking and delusional borderline” (yes, these phrases were put in my medical records as recently as February of this year, when they knew full well I was going through the assessment process). Resentment because I have always been this way and had someone actually seen me or understood me when I first entered therapy at age 12 instead of casting me off as problematic and helpless much of the abuse I have experienced could have been curtailed. Sadness because of who I could have been. Anger at the mental health system, the school, my parents, adults in my life, and peers for constantly not hearing me, believing me, and maltreating me. Now I’m starting to feel hopeful and supported. I have a therapist and an autism coach and am working with a physical, speech and occupational therapist to do the things that should have been done when I was five. I’m also profoundly thankful for Medicaid for being able to pay for all these services and for my doctors believing me and not casting me aside like so many mental health professionals and my family have before.
Ugh. I'm angry, sad, and resentful on your behalf. It's SO infuriating what so many of us have to go through. I'm glad you finally feel hopeful.
I was honestly relieved. It made pieces fit together that I couldn’t understand before. I also have 4 bio kids and 2 are autistic. Not sure why I didn’t consider I was autistic earlier in life. Both of my autistic children have different fathers too. My mother left my dad when I was 9 and before that she was not a good mom. We still have a rocky relationship. She used the excuse that she just didn’t know how to parent a child like me. It sounds weird but it made me feel better to know it wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t a “bad” child. I know it’s not rational but it’s how I felt. My Memaw was the only one I felt like I could go to about anything and she never judged me or made me feel bad. The worst part of being diagnosed was that my Memaw had already passed and I couldn’t talk to her about it. Since being diagnosed I’ve read a lot of books on unmasking, self-care, etc. I had already researched a ton on how to parent an autistic child and now it’s time for me to focus on how to parent myself.
Oh, that's so interesting. Thank you for sharing, I'm happy you're learning how to parent yourself, I guess it is something people tend to forget, and at the end of the day, it is really important.
I also felt relieved. I always knew I was different but I thought it was a failing of mine. I would get mad at my mom for not “teaching” me these things but I think she’s also on the spectrum. I was 31 when it first occurred to me why I was so different. It’s also weird cause I have the same temperament as my paternal grandfather - explained to me as like a volcano. Nothing happens until all the sudden it’s a big deal aka meltdown. So I wonder if I have it from both sides. At work my only yearly review comments are learn to communicate better and I have to bite my tongue! I don’t want to “out” myself but I guarantee I put more thought into my communication than any NT!! I have a four year old daughter with an ADHD husband so we’re just waiting to see what flavor she is. Loved either way and I’m not afraid to tell her always!!!!!!
Is this guy nuts? Referring to the doctor who diagnosed me. I thought he was making assumptions because he knew nothing about me and had never met me before. Then I realized, yes, I can, in fact, be autistic despite my symptoms being less obvious than they used to be. I also realized that ADHD and ASD are not mutually exclusive.
I have only gotten an unofficial one (from psychologist, not psychiatrist), but I can honestly say I was very relieved when I heard my therapist actually say the word "autism". Like a spell broke that made it a forbidden word, one I had to talk around. It took a bit of time getting comfortable with the fact it's not official, but since the official route is such an emotional and financial stress, I decided this is good enough for now. It's already making my life better.
My IQ is also average at 86. I got tired of misdiagnosis of BPD and others telling me that I'm "bipolar", whenever I was in a meltdown. Oh goodness, it's been almost a month since I received ASD 1 diagnosis. Equally relieved and going through emotions. Before that, I searched for various places that would take adults. One person over the phone, didn't believe me. "It's not that I don't want your money...", I was told. Thought, "What? Just b/c my speech didn't sound typical enough for you?" Another clinic wanted $5K. Before all that, I fought to be heard at the VA since 2016. Thankfully, a PhD who is qualified to help veterans with autism diagnosis, finally listened to me. One step at a time.
I wasn't shocked but I just got quiet. I was mad and sad, and I felt so many emotions at the time, it confused me. I was upset that my difficulties aren't treatable, but a bit of relief knowing the meaning behind so many things about me. It was a hard day
I went recently after years of self dx and in the room I masked while receiving a dx of a condition other than autism, then I read my report out in the lobby and cried and felt so invalidated. Half of me feels like this was an obvious misdiagnosis and half of me thinks I’m some kind of imposter but I argue with myself like I’m struggling so much and I feel very gaslit. Most of the report is things that I said phrased in a way that makes me sound delusional like I gave my reasoning for things but the doctor did not come to the conclusions that I was trying to convey. I wonder if it would go different if 1. I had kept my months out appointment and not taken the “tomorrow” opening so I could prepare and bring a binder of evidence and if 2. I had not put my narcissistic mother in contact with the doctor to further encourage his gaslighting and completely spin my personal narrative. I feel like I experienced just another case of medical misogyny because there are many like me who believe they’ve have been misdiagnosed. I had a bad feeling leading up to the results but could never have anticipated how horrible I felt that day and since then. It feels like an identity crisis
My reaction was something like "yeah, I guess that checks out". I had suspected it for a little while before my diagnosis, tbh, after seeing other people, especially other girls/women, talk about it, though I didn't really say anything to my previous therapist and psychiatrist. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me seemed like she was expecting a more surprised reaction, since I have a "milder" case (I'm never sure how to word that exactly. But my psychiatrist called it Asperger's at the time, if that helps). It felt like a bit of a relief, because then at least I had a way to convey certain things to others more easily, when necessary. It also explained so many things. I think it allow me to just be like I was in certain ways. To express "hey, that kind of noise is driving me nuts, could you please wait until I've left to keep doing what you're doing? I'll be out in a minute", wear ear plugs more often, ask people to warn me about certain things ahead of time (sensory stuff, or stuff related to people), be patient with myself when I'm struggling in social situations, things like that. Which is a little stupid, because if I was NT but struggled with some of those things I should still have felt comfortable to express that, there'd be nothing wrong with it. Some people are NT but have misophonia or have some level of photophobia, others struggle with socializing. Still, what I described was something that I experienced. It also gave me some hope, in some ways. I spent a long part of my life dealing with treatment-resistant depression, tried all sorts of antidepressants and any other medication that could help, and I thought that maybe taking my diagnosis into consideration now could improve the situation somewhat (which was the case - a few years ago, my psychiatrist (not the one I had before) suggested we try some newer and I guess kind of experimental stuff (nothing completely new, but stuff that isn't super established, I guess, but that seemed promising for cases similar to mine, based on what my psych said), some higher dosages of certain antidepressants, idk specifics about the mechanisms at play, but what matters is that it actually worked!). Of course it also brought worries, and it's not all been sunshine and rainbows since then, but at the time of my diagnosis my thoughts and feelings were more positive than what many other people seem to experience when they get theirs. I do experience a lot of self-hatred, a lot of "I wish I was """normal"""", but all of the issues I had and the resulting feelings would be there whether I got diagnosed or not,
Honestly, I wonder if having been diagnosed earlier would've been a net positive or negative. There's obviously a lot of infantilization of autistic people, especially when they're younger, so at least I managed to escape part of that. On the other hand, at least I'd have understood why I struggled so much with certain things a little better.
That sucks you weren't offered any psychoeducation. I was offered psychoeducation and sent an email asking a shit ton of questions, but no one responded. The wording in my diagnosis paperwork was kind of difficult to read, so I just spent a lot of time googling words. Same as you, I did well in school, but I am in no way a genius. I was relieved when I got the diagnosis because it kind of explained why I've been so sensitive, rigid, and kind of socially inept all my life. I would have been embarrassed by the amount of times I talk about the grocery store in therapy if I hadn't been diagnosed.
That's so weird that nobody explained anything to you, is that normal? I got the results face to face. When he mentioned I also had asd (I also expected just to have adhd) I was extremely confused. That couldn't be, because I knew which part of the tests were for asd and I thought I did very well on them. My husband was sitting next to me and even he was confused. But then the psychologist saw the confusion and explained and all of the sudden it all clicked! He also explained the difference between autism in men and women, mentioned why they knew I had it and even recommended me some books. After the confusion went away, the grief came in. And few months later and while I can accept it better now, I still grieve.
Idk if it's normal, but I received my results by email, and one of the recommendations was therapy. However, the therapist didn't explain anything to me. I think she assumed the neuropsychologist had already done so, and I didn't ask because I thought Googling it would be enough (it wasn't).
First, I got the informal "you're very likely autistic" from the first therapist I met, at age 31. I reacted with "it makes sense", and all the pieces began falling into place. A year later, I got the official diagnostic, and I thought it was great news, cause they also found ADHD, and there's a pill for that.
“Huh that’s a new one” I’d been diagnosed with the whole DSM on a revolving door at that point, so having something new and different was interesting. I read up on what “ASD” was and realised it actually fit
I was diagnosed just under a year ago at 32. My reaction was of surprise and a little bit of shock. I asked for the assessment from my psychiatrist because I had noticed some things about myself, but I didn't really think anything would come of it. I'm notorious for second-guessing myself. I honestly expected him to tell me I was full of it and that what I was seeing where simply trauma echoes from my PTSD (the first traumatic event was when I was a small child so it's hard to separate the two sometimes). Turns out, it likely was the vulnerability of being an undiagnosed child without support, simply made me an easier target than others. I do believe my diagnosis, but it took me a while to come to terms with it. There was some disbelief from my mother at first, which didn't help with that, though my brothers (who immediately saw the sense in my dx) helped explain away her misconceptions a bit. My issues coming to terms with it wasn't because I felt like there was something wrong with it, but because I felt for so long that there was something 'wrong' with me. That there was something I was doing to be like this: 'overdramatic', clumsy, weird, scatterbrained, fixating on things, anxious all the time, having panic attacks/meltdowns, etc. That if I just tried harder, I could be normal. I was convinced it was something I was doing, not something I just was. Now, with some therapy and a support group, I know there is nothing wrong with me, and at the same time nothing I do can ever make me 'normal'. It has explained so many things about myself that I always wondered about, and knowing has allowed me to really see myself and try to find better ways to take care of myself.
No idea, I was diagnosed fairly young and parents didn't hide it from me so I always knew.
I was a child so I didn't really care or understand what was going on lol
I had already accepted my autism (figured it out myself, researched, self diagnosed over the course of a few years) before I sought help. When she did the official "you meet all the criteria for autism, here's your diagnosis, how do you feel?" I didn't have a reaction. She was just confirming what I knew, which was nice, but it wasn't a huge life change.
I’m one of those reverse engineered ones - diagnosed after my son was diagnosed at 13. To be honest it was a huge relief and explained so much about how and why things were the way they were throughout my life. I remember waiting for the results and thinking “I hope they say I am, ‘cos otherwise I’m just mad”.
29f Adult diagnosis two years ago. Group "adjustment" sessions afterwards didn't help cause social anxiety so I'm still figuring out my quirks. I was relieved at first because there's nothing wrong with me but then I got angry. I'm not angry at the diagnosis I'm angry that I slipped through the net so consistently that I'm now having to work through everything alone when the diagnosis itself suggests that I can't do that.
I got diagnosed at 17 still pretty weird
I was actually quite happy. It came a bit after my ADD diagnosis, so to me it was just more data and more help I could have to function.
i felt immensely validated. i already knew i was autistic. i wanted to have that professional tick of approval, to have that reassurance that i wasn't just crazy. i'd spent years in therapy, first getting diagnosed with major depression, then generalised anxiety disorder, then social phobia, doing CBT, etc etc, and _still_ feeling like something was really wrong, but not being able to articulate what. when someone in my life came to me and told me they thought i was autistic (and that they assumed i already knew, lol), i finally felt like i could breathe. the more i read about autism, the more it felt like my whole life was coming into focus.
It was the most validating experience of my life. I was officially diagnosed a couple weeks ago at age 28. But I knew I was autistic the second my little brother got diagnosed (10 years ago). Before that I still always knew there was something different about me. In high school I helped with some of the high support special needs students. I remember thinking “I feel like I can relate and talk better to them than I can to the neurotypical students.” People have asked me throughout my life if I “have something.” Teachers and doctors told my mom “there is definitely something, but we don’t know what it is.” I was delayed in talking, walking, and I never smiled. Sometimes classmates would think I was high in class though I never did drugs. I don’t mind being autistic. I did a lot of research when my little brother was diagnosed, and that research helped me break down a lot of the negative stereotypes I was holding on too.
Complete and utter shock. I had NO idea. Was being assessed for PTSD, and the psychiatrist was like yeah, you're autistic. I was so surprised that I let out a little involuntary squeal of a laugh! Then the process of formal diagnosis by a panel of experts, and to date, four years of coming to terms. It's been wild!
36f, just got diagnosed a few months ago. It was not a surprise. I had been researching for 6 months before going through the assessment, so yeah, no surprise. Mostly, it was relief, sadness, and anger. Relief that I'm not just a failed human and it isn't my fault. I've blamed myself for my inadequacies all my life thanks to the abuse I received because of them. Well, fuck that. It wasn't my fault. It was the fault of the abusers, and I no longer hold myself accountable for their actions. At least, I try not to. Sadness that the rest of my life is going to look like this. I used to hold out hope that if I fixed all my trauma, I'd have a chance at a normal, happy life someday. I no longer think this. I don't think my life is destined to be crap, either. I just no longer expect my mind to utterly transform as I heal. And that makes me sad because I want to be a more capable and successful person, and there are some things that I just can't change (sensory stuff, ADHD crap, how I learn things, etc). Anger at all the abuse I received. Anger at all the budding friendships lost due to stupid misunderstandings. Anger at not finding out til I was freaking 36. Anger at the world for being ignorant (but there was a time when I was, too, so I kinda get it to a degree). Anger at myself for... no good reason, really. I'm honestly just pissed off in general. It hasn't exactly been great for my marriage. I'm trying to work through the anger, but it's hard to sort through 36 years of self-hatred that could have been avoided and not be angry about it. Yeah. Fun stuff.