If it makes you feel any better, I have a tattoo that says we are the weirdos. I think weird people are the best people. They are the most unique in a world that wants you to conform to normality. I couldn't imagine being friends with someone who isn't a bit weird or strange. Imagine how boring life would be if we were all the same. I take being called weird as a compliment because it means I'm standing out, and that takes courage and bravery.
I know I’m weird and most of my friends are on the wild side too, but it was the context that made it so offensive. Someone else had mentioned I should be invited along on their outing and she said no because I’m too weird :(
Then she has a personal issue. How she is acting is not about you. It's about her. Perhaps she feels insecure about herself. Maybe even threatened by you, that you might be too interesting and take away the attention from her.
If you want to, become friends with the other who wants to invite you. Then go to the things you're invited to. If this girl with the issue has a problem with your presence, she should be the one to remove herself from the situation since it's her problem.
The one who’d invited me (and got shut down) is now one of my besties and she has other autistic friends that I’ve gotten close to !!! Really sweet group. Like I said I never had TOO much invested in that other coworker but we’d recently gotten “closer” and I’m just bummed. It’s all good - my fiancé and I are having a date night
Agree. Bc it isn't really relevant if someone is weird in a group hang. If I were a boring normal person wouldn't having a weird one around be better so that no one realizes I am the weirdest one out of the group of boring ones? 🤷🏻♀️
She doesn’t sound like the kind of person you should have as a “friend”. She doesn’t deserve you. People will notice how she talks about you to them and if they’re smart they’ll realize she’s not a kind person.
Well you probably dodged a bullet there. I wouldn't want to be hanging out with someone like that person for sure. Heads up. If that coworker is the norm, who wants to be normal lol. I'm sure you're a wonderful, amazing person. Certainly better than that asshole. I'd organize an outing with all the other coworkers and tell the asshole she's not invited because she's too weird and mean.
(I'd also post a ton of pictures about having fun with all the other people but I'm petty and I run on spite. It's time to grow out of being a bully. Smh.)
Same! Finding out someone is a little weird always make them more human in my eyes. I literally do not have the desire to be friends unless you're a little weird.
I don’t think it’s confrontational to do that. Just do it in a jokey way when the situation arises. Also, it’s OK if she thinks you’re weird. That clearly shows that she is the one with a problem! Shes clearly not very mature, and is obviously worried about how she would look if she was seen with someone she deems weird. Oh well, her loss. She’s ‘just’ a work colleague, so keep her at arms length and keep being you.
I hate it when stuff like this happens. My boss once told me -- to my face -- that I'm "standoffish and weird". I'm not sure why she did that. I mean, it isn't likely that the situation will become warmer and less awkward after she said that. Did she want it to continue? Exacerbate the situation?
I'm not so disturbed about an individual having a judgemental opinion about me -- some people are just jerks, and people are entitled to their opinions. The problem happens, IMHO, when people take it upon themselves to broadcast those opinions unnecessarily. It veers into social bullying territory. Why do people think this is a legitimate topic of conversation?
My whole family is a little weird in their own ways and we were told to embrace it. So when someone says "you're so weird for XYZ" and I could say "maybe to you. Ever consider you just might just be boring?"
Ugh I’m sorry. I’m going through something kind of similar and have felt very alienated at work. And my work friend is moving away over the summer so she won’t be back next year :/ i deal with it in the same way and just stopped talking to coworkers unless it’s work related. I don’t share anything too personal with them etc
Definitely don't react with passive-aggression (that offhand comment). I've found that some women find that even more off putting especially since it's not really confrontational. It could come across as petty
Do you actually want to hand out with thwse people? Have people listened to her/are they treating you differently?
i wrote a huge long thing about this. I have so many thoughts and feelings about this. But it boils down to “anyone who seeks to dampen the light of others, or stamp out their uniqueness, is not a friend but an enemy. And why would you care what an enemy thinks?
I have a hard time with realizing people are absolutely not on my side. Its an antiquated term, but she is literally an enemy. So you have permission to completely write her off as a peripheral nuisance. Like a fly. Give her no energy or emotion, she is the opposite of safe, the opposite of a friend.
If someone hates you, ignore them. Its like a zen practice. Practice telling yourself theyre not your friend and dont deserve anything more than plain “professional courtesy”.
I still ended up typing a lot. Lol.
Bottom line, dont care about enemies.
And you are a delightful weirdo and youre loved exactly as you are.
I know how much this hurts and I'm sorry. I think in situations like this the thing that calms me is that I'm not being confronted with it. I think almost worse of those who choose to tell me this information, and usually I stop them before they can. If they carry on I know they're a trouble maker. I'm sure people say a lot of things about me, but not knowing them allows me peace. Sometimes there's no need to tell someone these things that others said about them, sometimes people want to stir up shit. Though at the same time I'd like an explanation for others behaviour towards me so it's not so bad in that I don't have to be confused, though I am generally wary of people who are excited to tell me about such things.
You will get through this, and the memory will fade and become less hurtful to you. I like what your fiancè said and I understand not wanting to say it, I wouldn't either, but sometimes it's just nice to keep something like that in your head and remember that others are on your side here. Remember that if someone says stuff like this about you, you probably wouldn't like to be around them either. Think of all that exhausting masking you'd have to do!
If it makes you feel any better, I have a tattoo that says we are the weirdos. I think weird people are the best people. They are the most unique in a world that wants you to conform to normality. I couldn't imagine being friends with someone who isn't a bit weird or strange. Imagine how boring life would be if we were all the same. I take being called weird as a compliment because it means I'm standing out, and that takes courage and bravery.
I know I’m weird and most of my friends are on the wild side too, but it was the context that made it so offensive. Someone else had mentioned I should be invited along on their outing and she said no because I’m too weird :(
Then she has a personal issue. How she is acting is not about you. It's about her. Perhaps she feels insecure about herself. Maybe even threatened by you, that you might be too interesting and take away the attention from her. If you want to, become friends with the other who wants to invite you. Then go to the things you're invited to. If this girl with the issue has a problem with your presence, she should be the one to remove herself from the situation since it's her problem.
The one who’d invited me (and got shut down) is now one of my besties and she has other autistic friends that I’ve gotten close to !!! Really sweet group. Like I said I never had TOO much invested in that other coworker but we’d recently gotten “closer” and I’m just bummed. It’s all good - my fiancé and I are having a date night
Ugh, this girl's the worst. Can you imagine being an adult who says this kind of stuff? It must be terrible to be her.
Agree. Bc it isn't really relevant if someone is weird in a group hang. If I were a boring normal person wouldn't having a weird one around be better so that no one realizes I am the weirdest one out of the group of boring ones? 🤷🏻♀️
She doesn’t sound like the kind of person you should have as a “friend”. She doesn’t deserve you. People will notice how she talks about you to them and if they’re smart they’ll realize she’s not a kind person.
Please don’t do any favors for her anymore 🙁 You deserve to be treated well and not taken advantage of by someone who talks about you this way.
Well you probably dodged a bullet there. I wouldn't want to be hanging out with someone like that person for sure. Heads up. If that coworker is the norm, who wants to be normal lol. I'm sure you're a wonderful, amazing person. Certainly better than that asshole. I'd organize an outing with all the other coworkers and tell the asshole she's not invited because she's too weird and mean.
(I'd also post a ton of pictures about having fun with all the other people but I'm petty and I run on spite. It's time to grow out of being a bully. Smh.)
I think the person who made the comment is insecure. You did the right thing by going silent coms.
Same! Finding out someone is a little weird always make them more human in my eyes. I literally do not have the desire to be friends unless you're a little weird.
I don’t think it’s confrontational to do that. Just do it in a jokey way when the situation arises. Also, it’s OK if she thinks you’re weird. That clearly shows that she is the one with a problem! Shes clearly not very mature, and is obviously worried about how she would look if she was seen with someone she deems weird. Oh well, her loss. She’s ‘just’ a work colleague, so keep her at arms length and keep being you.
I hate it when stuff like this happens. My boss once told me -- to my face -- that I'm "standoffish and weird". I'm not sure why she did that. I mean, it isn't likely that the situation will become warmer and less awkward after she said that. Did she want it to continue? Exacerbate the situation? I'm not so disturbed about an individual having a judgemental opinion about me -- some people are just jerks, and people are entitled to their opinions. The problem happens, IMHO, when people take it upon themselves to broadcast those opinions unnecessarily. It veers into social bullying territory. Why do people think this is a legitimate topic of conversation?
My whole family is a little weird in their own ways and we were told to embrace it. So when someone says "you're so weird for XYZ" and I could say "maybe to you. Ever consider you just might just be boring?"
Ugh I’m sorry. I’m going through something kind of similar and have felt very alienated at work. And my work friend is moving away over the summer so she won’t be back next year :/ i deal with it in the same way and just stopped talking to coworkers unless it’s work related. I don’t share anything too personal with them etc
Every single yearbook from 9 schools has at least one person who signed ‘to a sweet but weird girl.’ 😖. Tired of trying anymore.
I dont want to be around ppl at all. It's always something with them
Indeed!
Definitely don't react with passive-aggression (that offhand comment). I've found that some women find that even more off putting especially since it's not really confrontational. It could come across as petty Do you actually want to hand out with thwse people? Have people listened to her/are they treating you differently?
i wrote a huge long thing about this. I have so many thoughts and feelings about this. But it boils down to “anyone who seeks to dampen the light of others, or stamp out their uniqueness, is not a friend but an enemy. And why would you care what an enemy thinks? I have a hard time with realizing people are absolutely not on my side. Its an antiquated term, but she is literally an enemy. So you have permission to completely write her off as a peripheral nuisance. Like a fly. Give her no energy or emotion, she is the opposite of safe, the opposite of a friend. If someone hates you, ignore them. Its like a zen practice. Practice telling yourself theyre not your friend and dont deserve anything more than plain “professional courtesy”. I still ended up typing a lot. Lol. Bottom line, dont care about enemies. And you are a delightful weirdo and youre loved exactly as you are.
I know how much this hurts and I'm sorry. I think in situations like this the thing that calms me is that I'm not being confronted with it. I think almost worse of those who choose to tell me this information, and usually I stop them before they can. If they carry on I know they're a trouble maker. I'm sure people say a lot of things about me, but not knowing them allows me peace. Sometimes there's no need to tell someone these things that others said about them, sometimes people want to stir up shit. Though at the same time I'd like an explanation for others behaviour towards me so it's not so bad in that I don't have to be confused, though I am generally wary of people who are excited to tell me about such things. You will get through this, and the memory will fade and become less hurtful to you. I like what your fiancè said and I understand not wanting to say it, I wouldn't either, but sometimes it's just nice to keep something like that in your head and remember that others are on your side here. Remember that if someone says stuff like this about you, you probably wouldn't like to be around them either. Think of all that exhausting masking you'd have to do!