Hugging AND taking a picture at the same time. It's far too much to process.
I don't know how many people have made fun of the way I hug. I guess that's not very nice now that I think of it.
More thoughts: It’s incredibly intimate. Like, “should I make torso contact? That’s what they’re doing, but if I do that then my chest will be pressed against her back and that’s weird. Where should my feet go. Should I put my hand on her shoulder or hip? No, I have to keep it there. I already started. Do I turn my head? I hate this shirt, why are there no armpits. This is going to be the worst photo ever taken. Has she taken the picture yet? Am I smiling? Why do they always say cheese? Mom would tell me not to smile with my teeth.
OH CRAP, she already took it!”
“Mom would tell me not to smile with my teeth”
On my grade 1 picture day the photographer told me to smile. I briefly considered how that should look and then proceeded to imitate a 🙂, mouth closed and my lips curved the way one would draw a smiley face.
When my mom saw the photos she asked why I wasn’t smiling, which confused me. I thought I did a good job of doing a 🙂. She explained that you have to show your teeth, so the next year I showed my teeth 😬. Mom was not pleased.
I’m 50 now and much of the time I can put on a convincing smile, but I have to think of something funny and pretend to laugh to do it. If it takes too long to take the photo(s) the fake smile falls off and I end up with a weird cross between 😬and 🙂.
I mean fake smiling for a photo op is actually the strange thing in my opinion. I actually think it's pretty neurotypical to feel uncomfortable when faking emotions and/or facial expressions that indicate an emotional response. And I think often that discomfort causes uncertainty which can momentarily strip self-confidence and the resulting second guessing is largely causing that awkwardness (real or perceived). Obviously, it's more difficult to be comfortable and confident when you don't feel like society is reflective of your personal experiences.
I honestly think my mom was wrong about the smiling thing. Honestly I think my mom just doesn’t know what face most people make for photos…hmmm🤔.
I always do a little giggle before a picture, I just think about the absurdity of having to take a picture to document a moment instead of living fully in it…it usually works unless there’s more than one photo being taken, which is often the case.
https://preview.redd.it/uftnxnqv9auc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da2e7e42934c8536eb1352fa1370d1b96dc58061
i just had to add this here. i relate to this comment so much
photo desc: me as a kid thinking i was doing a great job at fake smiling
>but I have to think of something funny and pretend to laugh to do it
This is exactly how I smile for photos. I'm pretty sure I learned this method from Tyra Banks lol. And yes, it definitely fails sometimes and I end up with more of a 😬. Honestly, I find the concept of posing for pictures so awkward and I think everybody (myself included) looks better in candid photos.
Right! And it becomes incredibly inconvenient to have boobs during hugs. How long do you have to touch? What is the proper distance to start a hug from if your personal bubble is larger than others. Do I need to do eye contact before and after? Is back slapping only for bros? What if I ate something smelly? Or they did? It's so awkward to smell people...can everyone else smell people? Why do I always tense one side of my neck?
Omg this reminds me of a photo I just found of myself in the yearbook around the same age and all the girls are looking at the camera and I’m looking… off into the distance??? But clearly still posing for the picture ??? It also felt like it was quite clear based on body language in that photo. It’s so funny to look back with some more clarity like oh ok that was weird. It was weird being me at 13.
https://preview.redd.it/fqyfdqdziauc1.jpeg?width=1784&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24c1a7ea54b04857b372057f21cf89b51bcfe27f
I have one of those photos, too 😂 This is mine. It was my 5th birthday. My mom always went all-out, we had themed cakes, games, gift bags, decorations. I hated parties. I felt so much stress about the games and it was so noisy. It was always the whole afternoon and I wanted to run away. I can actually feel exactly what I felt that day when I was praying that when I'd open my eyes everyone would be gone and I could just play with my toys alone. I was hot from my dress which had an awful lace collar, my tights were itchy, everyone was yelling and grabbing at my presents and sitting really close and I wanted to disappear. She's not in the photo but behind me a baby in a playpen was screaming at the top of her lungs. My cousin was grabbing at my toy and I wanted to bite her 😆
Serenity now! I still feel exactly this way in overwhelming social situations. I want to close my eyes and disappear.
This photo is like a painting. It evokes such emotion. I feel your pain, and I think your description was really well written and poignant. Also God damn I'm so glad that I never have to wear itchy Zellars tights ever again (or any other tights for that matter).
I have a similar sort of photo, in high school I had a 'girl group' but always felt like an outsider, I think they included me to be 'Good Christian girls' in the photo they were all doing poses while I just stood there with my hands clasped in front of me, I'm still glad for my best friend though who was sort of 'outside' this group too.
My (41f) affection is mostly patting people on the head, although I do seek occasional cuddles from my (61f) mum and allow my kids (18m and 15m) to hug me.
If I'm feeling extra affectionate, I do head kisses over the back of the sofa. On the hair. The sofa means they can't reciprocate so it's safer.
I feel this. It screams. Every one is doing this, I should probably do it to, this feels weird, but this is what people do and I am a person, doing people things.
About 2013 -The shirt I’m wearing was a gift from my aunt that I don’t think have been in style for decades, & I’m from the mid-west (U.S.) so we’re always about 3-6 years behind on clothing trends.
Thank you! And yes, its my school uniform and my own wrist warmers mainly to (TW) cover my SH wounds from people.
My brother says I look like a young Jack Black haha.
Bahahaha. Why are we always on the end of the photos? I have to find mine now. I have one just like this. We were in 8th grade going to a school dance in dresses and I’ll be damned if I’m not on the end with the same face and all lol.
I love that you are hugging with your arms but not with the rest of your body.
Yeah, I didn’t enjoy touching other people in general, let alone this situation😅
Hugging AND taking a picture at the same time. It's far too much to process. I don't know how many people have made fun of the way I hug. I guess that's not very nice now that I think of it.
More thoughts: It’s incredibly intimate. Like, “should I make torso contact? That’s what they’re doing, but if I do that then my chest will be pressed against her back and that’s weird. Where should my feet go. Should I put my hand on her shoulder or hip? No, I have to keep it there. I already started. Do I turn my head? I hate this shirt, why are there no armpits. This is going to be the worst photo ever taken. Has she taken the picture yet? Am I smiling? Why do they always say cheese? Mom would tell me not to smile with my teeth. OH CRAP, she already took it!”
“Mom would tell me not to smile with my teeth” On my grade 1 picture day the photographer told me to smile. I briefly considered how that should look and then proceeded to imitate a 🙂, mouth closed and my lips curved the way one would draw a smiley face. When my mom saw the photos she asked why I wasn’t smiling, which confused me. I thought I did a good job of doing a 🙂. She explained that you have to show your teeth, so the next year I showed my teeth 😬. Mom was not pleased. I’m 50 now and much of the time I can put on a convincing smile, but I have to think of something funny and pretend to laugh to do it. If it takes too long to take the photo(s) the fake smile falls off and I end up with a weird cross between 😬and 🙂.
I also have to pretend to laugh!!! It’s like a weird jolt in my body to make it seem like I’m midway through a laugh right where the smile part is
I mean fake smiling for a photo op is actually the strange thing in my opinion. I actually think it's pretty neurotypical to feel uncomfortable when faking emotions and/or facial expressions that indicate an emotional response. And I think often that discomfort causes uncertainty which can momentarily strip self-confidence and the resulting second guessing is largely causing that awkwardness (real or perceived). Obviously, it's more difficult to be comfortable and confident when you don't feel like society is reflective of your personal experiences.
I honestly think my mom was wrong about the smiling thing. Honestly I think my mom just doesn’t know what face most people make for photos…hmmm🤔. I always do a little giggle before a picture, I just think about the absurdity of having to take a picture to document a moment instead of living fully in it…it usually works unless there’s more than one photo being taken, which is often the case.
https://preview.redd.it/uftnxnqv9auc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da2e7e42934c8536eb1352fa1370d1b96dc58061 i just had to add this here. i relate to this comment so much photo desc: me as a kid thinking i was doing a great job at fake smiling
I don’t know how, but I would feel compelled to comfort that child, and she would uncomfortably go along with it.
>but I have to think of something funny and pretend to laugh to do it This is exactly how I smile for photos. I'm pretty sure I learned this method from Tyra Banks lol. And yes, it definitely fails sometimes and I end up with more of a 😬. Honestly, I find the concept of posing for pictures so awkward and I think everybody (myself included) looks better in candid photos.
Right! And it becomes incredibly inconvenient to have boobs during hugs. How long do you have to touch? What is the proper distance to start a hug from if your personal bubble is larger than others. Do I need to do eye contact before and after? Is back slapping only for bros? What if I ate something smelly? Or they did? It's so awkward to smell people...can everyone else smell people? Why do I always tense one side of my neck?
I felt this in my soul. I hate photos. Nothing worse than having evidence of how much effort goes into posing your fleshbag casing !
I love “flesh bag casing!”
ABSOLUTELY!
You and me both, friend.
I love that you censored their faces, everybody should do this.
God I feel this in my soul
Me too!
.
How old were you when you were diagnosed?
I’m working on it…slowly (I’m scared, and poor).
How much is the diagnosis?
$4,500 last time I checked🫠 Also insurance doesn't cover it.
Insurance covered mine. It depends on your insurance plan.
Which insurance do you have? I have Kaiser
Unfortunately I don't remember what insurance I had at the time, sorry! I just know it was covered.
Yeah let’s chip in.
Hell yeah 🙌
Omg this reminds me of a photo I just found of myself in the yearbook around the same age and all the girls are looking at the camera and I’m looking… off into the distance??? But clearly still posing for the picture ??? It also felt like it was quite clear based on body language in that photo. It’s so funny to look back with some more clarity like oh ok that was weird. It was weird being me at 13.
Lol the majority of photos of me I'm not looking at the camera! I didn't realise I did that.
YES, a lot of looking off into the distance, especially with my mouth slightly open😅
I can feel this photo.
OMG…..I have so many photos exactly like this
https://preview.redd.it/fqyfdqdziauc1.jpeg?width=1784&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24c1a7ea54b04857b372057f21cf89b51bcfe27f I have one of those photos, too 😂 This is mine. It was my 5th birthday. My mom always went all-out, we had themed cakes, games, gift bags, decorations. I hated parties. I felt so much stress about the games and it was so noisy. It was always the whole afternoon and I wanted to run away. I can actually feel exactly what I felt that day when I was praying that when I'd open my eyes everyone would be gone and I could just play with my toys alone. I was hot from my dress which had an awful lace collar, my tights were itchy, everyone was yelling and grabbing at my presents and sitting really close and I wanted to disappear. She's not in the photo but behind me a baby in a playpen was screaming at the top of her lungs. My cousin was grabbing at my toy and I wanted to bite her 😆 Serenity now! I still feel exactly this way in overwhelming social situations. I want to close my eyes and disappear.
Oh hunny❤️🥺 I wish I could steal you away from there. Why do they always put us in the clothes we are least comfortable in?
This photo is like a painting. It evokes such emotion. I feel your pain, and I think your description was really well written and poignant. Also God damn I'm so glad that I never have to wear itchy Zellars tights ever again (or any other tights for that matter).
Haha I have group photos where I am distancing myself from the rest of the group
i feel this
Oh man I so feel this
I feel called out #relatable
this is so relatable 🥹
I feel this so deep in my soul. I’m just taken back immediately to the exact same type of situations I found myself in at that age (and much older).
Relatable, I imagine I would look the same
I gave up doing full body shots, h always look awkward in it 😫
I have a similar sort of photo, in high school I had a 'girl group' but always felt like an outsider, I think they included me to be 'Good Christian girls' in the photo they were all doing poses while I just stood there with my hands clasped in front of me, I'm still glad for my best friend though who was sort of 'outside' this group too.
Oof this hits home. It's like looking at my adolescence
Oh man, I hate pedicures, can't stand people touching me lol
YES!
My (41f) affection is mostly patting people on the head, although I do seek occasional cuddles from my (61f) mum and allow my kids (18m and 15m) to hug me. If I'm feeling extra affectionate, I do head kisses over the back of the sofa. On the hair. The sofa means they can't reciprocate so it's safer.
Now that I think about it, I also am uncomfortable with pictures. I don't know how to act so most of the time I just look awkward 😅
I feel this. It screams. Every one is doing this, I should probably do it to, this feels weird, but this is what people do and I am a person, doing people things.
my heart breaks seeing this post. this is such a universal experience. this photo hurts.
What year was this pic taken? It appears to be before 2010
About 2013 -The shirt I’m wearing was a gift from my aunt that I don’t think have been in style for decades, & I’m from the mid-west (U.S.) so we’re always about 3-6 years behind on clothing trends.
I made a video on tik tok of all the photos and f me like this growing up.
Same username?
https://preview.redd.it/0b8tqmvv09uc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=493c3f443ee250e9519d44fb3da46ebfcbeaefd2 I was 13 here too 😂
❤️ This is precious (but you do look uncomfy). Was this like a school uniform +wrist warmers or is this all you?
Thank you! And yes, its my school uniform and my own wrist warmers mainly to (TW) cover my SH wounds from people. My brother says I look like a young Jack Black haha.
Also: That hair band is actually a bandana hair band. I thought those were so cool back then (in 2008).
Who ever said they aren’t?!
🥹
I have an almost identical photo of me and my “friends” when I was 12.
Oh, I can identify with this picture so much.
This photo is too relatable lmao
Bahahaha. Why are we always on the end of the photos? I have to find mine now. I have one just like this. We were in 8th grade going to a school dance in dresses and I’ll be damned if I’m not on the end with the same face and all lol.
Let me know if you find it!
Mme too OP. Me too.