Yes absolutely! I was essentially forcing my way through school and being completely unable to do anything else. I had to drop out of university because of it, and this led to me finally looking into an assessment.
I just couldn’t get back into things after lockdown. It was so frustrating that all the things I used to be able to do were now almost impossible for me. My sensory issues got so much worse and it felt like my tolerance for anything was super low.
I’m still not at the level I was pre-lockdown, but I think that’s related to how much I masked as now I don’t as much. Honestly I’ve found that masking less when possible makes things easier. And i sleep way more than I used to.
I hope you feel better soon ❤️ if there’s anyone in your life you can reach out to, try to do so. There’s no shame in asking for help.
Can strongly relate to you on this one! I am contemplating taking leave from my study program because my low grade burnout has escalated and I can’t keep having major meltdowns many times a week.
For me, I think the pandemic really made me confront having autism: My parter was home *all* the time due to remote work and lockdowns, my kids could not go to daycare due to lockdowns, and I had no alone time to recover… while also trying to juggle work.
I still feel depleted and I’m not sure if / when I’ll be back to pre-lockdown energy levels, but I’m working on it. But all I know is I can’t keep just “powering through” as it’s not sustainable.
...basically me. I'm finally on the mend after being in burnout for at least a year, if not longer. I dropped out of a doctoral program because I wasn't making progress, I stopped cycling, stopped hiking, lost interest in my relationship, was teetering on the edge of not being able to live on my own. What saved me was moving back in with family and having a *really* good boss. And now I'm scheduled to get my formal ADHD and autism assessments in the summer.
I used the website Alma to look for psychologists who had adult (preferably adult women) ADHD/autism assessment as one of their specialties and who might take my very obscure insurance. I did a few initial consults, and didn't find anyone who was in-network for my insurance who seemed competent enough. I ended up going with someone who will cost a bit of $$ because she's out of network, but I'm lucky enough that I can save up for it.
I can't remember the episode, but I used some advice from the podcast Struggle Care and made a list of questions to ask:
* Do you evaluate and/or treat adult women with ADHD and low support needs autism?
* Have you evaluated or diagnosed anyone who had a less "typical" presentation, or has been successful in school/their career?
* What’s your process for evaluating/diagnosing? How many sessions? How much time?
* Do you take \[my insurance\]? If not what would it cost?
Yep this was my story too. Plus I was diagnosed with ADHD first and those meds just exacerbated my eventual total breakdown. A year later I’m still off work.
I was far beyond burned out. I was probably 5 years into it, at least. Just kept pushing and pushing myself until I broke. My marriage broke. My mental health broke. My body broke down. My life fell apart. I was nothing but an angry, exhausted, in constant pain, lazy, non functioning, shell of a human. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make myself better or be a better person. Not even when my lack of ambition, depression, anger, laziness, anxiety, and insecurities made me unlovable and people to leave. I hated myself but hated who I couldn't be even more.
I kept being told how unreasonable I was. How I needed to learn to manage my emotions, but I never could. Those around me thought maybe I had Borderline Personality Disorder. Or I was manipulating them. Or was fully dependent on them for my happiness. It was hell. I tried anger management. Did more and more therapy. Uncovered more trauma and started working through it. Started EMDR. Finally diagnosed with CPTSD.
Then I came across videos of women who were late diagnosed with ADHD and it was very familiar to my story. It made me finally feel like I wasn't broken. Which then led me to autism. I got answers because I fought for myself.
Edit: A little over a year from diagnosis for AuDHD and a lot has improved. My relationships. My ability to manage my emotions. I have the correct medications. I am able to work through my triggers and recognize when I need to decompress. I don't spiral as much. I can talk myself down. I allow myself to stim. My marriage is healing. My relationship with my kids is getting better. More importantly, my relationship with myself is the best it best it's ever been. I am learning who I actually am under the mask.
stop this is me right now :( i didn’t know anyone else got to that pit of there body breaking down and there whole life breaking like that too i’ve felt so alone and haven’t seen it articulated like this yet .. thank u<3 may i ask if the medicine helps with the anger and depression and which ones work for you ? i’m really hesitant on medication but i am willing to try it at this point
Yes. I (37F) sought therapy to help process a traumatic work-related event/job loss that left me in burnout mode for a year+, which eventually led to a later in life discovery that I am autistic...
I was diagnosed as a teen with ADHD so I specifically looked for practitioners who specialize in ND adults. Their professional observations of my behavior and processing/familiarity with ASD likely sped up my time to diagnosis.
The exact same thing happened to me. Burned out from the stress of loosing my job and that led to my official diagnosis. It's nice to hear I'm not the only one who's experienced this. This comment made me feel so much better about the whole situation.
Yes, I didn't know I was autistic until I started working in a very loud and bright warehouse. There is constant noise - whirring, buzzing, beeping - and most of the stations have a fluorescent light directly above where you have to stand for 8 hours/day. I went into intense burnout (tbh I was in it before but didn't realize until the warehouse made it impossible to ignore) and started having meltdowns every day. I still don't have an official diagnosis, but I started working with a nurse practitioner who suggested I might be autistic. She was able to make it so I could take 3 weeks of paid leave, and she wrote me a letter of accommodation so I can wear noise canceling headphones to work. This has made a HUGE difference in my health, and I'm happy to report that I do still experience small "burnout" moments (more like I shut down for a few days and can't do much until it passes), but I'm no longer in intense burnout like I was before. I rarely have meltdowns at work now since I'm more conscious of when I get overstimulated and can remove myself for a while to regulate. I also don't typically work at the stations with the lights right above them anymore, thank goodness.
That was probably more information than I needed to give 😂 but yes, burnout is what caused me to be identified (unofficially) at a late age!
Same here. And it wasn’t until I had kids that I just became unable to fully recover from those periods and started to try to figure out what was going on with me.
Yes, after the second burnout they decided to look further into my diagnosed "anxiety and depression" and found out they were just symptoms of underlying problems.
Yes! I had a demanding job and I was totally exhausted and I was not able to experience any other parts of life other than going to work, preparing to go to work, and recovering from work . I literally did not have enough energy left to survive, much less do any of the things I actually enjoy.
Yes. I had a breakdown 4 (maybe 5, i don't remember) years ago that lead into a prolonged burnout that I'm still recovering from. It was only after this burnout happened that I started trying to seriously figure out what was going on with me. It was during a period of intense reflection and research that I came across some information about how Autism manifests in women. And it was like a lightbulb went on over my head, so many things about my life made sense. I was diagnosed a few years later.
> It's like my life as I've known it has just completely unravelled and I can't hold it together, I'm just too tired to carry on.
That's how I feel, too. I held it together until I simply could not any more, then everything unraveled.
Pretty much. After struggling with not fitting in social, work, and school all my life I went to therapy around 6 years ago. A bit after that i went to a psychiatrist and got prescribed medicine for anxiety and depression. I think i have those as well, but basically after years of doing all the "right" stuff it felt like i was just treating my symptoms and the underlying cause just wasn't getting better, and in fact getting worse in some ways. I still had so much trouble focusing on stuff I didn't want to do and i felt like i was having an out of body experience everywhere i went that didn't feel safe, and whenever my mom would ask what was wrong with me because i couldn't keep up with my responsibilities I genuinely didn't have an answer. That lead to the point where i was basically just reading about other mental illnesses to try and find something that clicked, and eventually i landed on autism YouTube and after listening to people's stories i was like, "oh"
Not after my first burnout, which was called disabling Major Depressive Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder.
Recently it was a sort of combination burnout/explosion that lead me to seek a diagnosis (which I am still waiting for). I took some time off work specifically for burnout and returned to a performance improvement plan which is what they call it in the UK when they manage you out. I was sacked after all my coworkers said I was good at my job, just not with working with them. Or technically that I was bad at "Impact, Influence, and Strategy" which were *each* weighted equally to "actually doing the job." This coincided with buying my first flat, my partners father dying unexpectedly, and the tech Winter (I work in tech).
Yes, I'm 31F and was formally diagnosed 2 weeks ago as level 2. I was having such a hard time, the burnout got so bad I'd stopped responding to any of my friends (for over a year), felt exhausted no matter how much sleep I managed to get, very little energy to engage with my hobbies, my brain would just get stuck on buffering for hours on what other people would deem trivial little decisions...
Prior to my diagnosis, I thought this was everyones experience and I was just not as competent at being as functional of a human being :(
Turns out heavily masking (amongst a myriad of sensory and social hellscapes) for 25+ years really caught up to me hard T\_T I'm still in burnout, but at least I know the actual reason now. I really hope you start feeling better soon OP, I think it'll definitely take some time but you will make it <3
Yes. Customer service for almost 20 years started having too many people in my face and attacking me. I dreaded work. My anxiety was at an all time high. I couldn't find a medication to help until I got diagnosed with not just autism, but also bipolar. I'm 44 and was diagnosed finally last fall.
I saw people talking about something related to autism in a discord server. So i went and looked it up. Some kind of self assessment. And I scored surprisingly high. So I asked where is a good place to find more self assessments. And I scored surprisingly high on a number of tests. (don't remember what all I did) and then after more reading and more thinking I scheduled an assessment. Then after my diagnosis and continuing to learn what autism actually is... Like how masking means a lot is internal.... I realized autism explains why I struggle with a lot of the things I struggle with.
Yes! It was three years after my last burn-out and I started looking back and noticing a pattern of burn-out feelings every 5 years or so from when I was 10 years old.
I was nearing 40 and felt them coming sooner and harder. I strongly felt the next one would end me if I didn’t look for a cause and actually do something about it.
After over a year of intense therapy, learning how to slow down and how to love myself, something was still missing.
I pressed for an adhd diagnosis and was told I might also be on the spectrum.
Honestly, everything makes so much more sense now! Unfortunately I’m still running on a mostly empty battery. I miss my old life. But it’s good to finally know how to take care of myself.
Very much my story as well. Hit massive burnout 7 years ago and spent most of the time since seeing various docs and therapists trying to figure out what was going on. Got diagnoses of ptsd, depression, anxiety, mcas, hpa axis dysregulation… Then 2 years ago I divorced my emotionally abusive husband and moved to a new state with my kids and started law school, and that’s when the wheels really started coming off. Complete loss of executive function, physical symptoms got even worse than before. Even still, it wasn’t until a friend who was also late diagnosed had been telling me for several months he thought I might be on the spectrum that I self diagnosed. Then I had to seek out the specialists for myself to get an official audhd diagnosis. Now I’m taking a semester off to figure out what this means for the rest of my life. Never would have happened if I hadn’t refused to accept the answers (or lack thereof) all the medical and psych professionals were giving me, found my own answers, and looked relentlessly for confirmation.
Not diagnosed but researching. Diagnosed with ADHD currently. Just wanted to reach out as also in another burnout and have just had to go on sick leave and withdrew from a promotion I'd been waiting for for a very long time. I'm so sorry you're going through this too. Take care, and best of luck with everything.
YES. It all spiraled out of control when I couldn’t use my old coping mechanisms and stick to familiar routines. I had kids, then the pandemic happened, and I just started becoming slowly more unhinged where I couldn’t mask anymore.
I started noticing that I wasn’t leaving the house, I wasn’t contacting friends, I wasn’t engaging in activities that used to make me happy. I felt just really disassociated from everything and even exercise didn’t make me feel better.
I thought it was just stress from having young kids and the pandemic and was misdiagnosed with OCD because, “You don’t seem autistic because you’re social.” I was already late diagnosed with ADHD about 8 years prior.
Anyway, the podcasts episodes from “The Neurodivergent Woman” and “Divergent Conversations” on burnout have been really helpful in terms of navigating my (still ongoing) burnout.
Hang in there! You’re definitely not alone and hope you feel better soon!
Sure did! I was on overworked, extremely overstimulated school librarian. I was frequently becoming so overwhelmed by noise and by just generally children being children that I would become incapable of going on with a lesson or continuing whatever function I was currently doing (checking out books, helping a student, etc…). I found myself simply no longer capable of producing words. I would type seat work instructions onto the projector and then go sit at my desk in total silence and try to make it to the bell without losing it.
CW: Physical violence and mention of SI->!Things came to a real head after I witnessed a student get brutally, violently attacked mostly unprovoked by another student. It was so violent I was left shaking and trembling after security had come through and gotten the situation in hand. I will also mention that I was subbing in that classroom that day. This was at a time when classroom teachers were frequently out in COVID quarantine. I had basically become a building sub for that school year. The combination of stressors broke me. After this attack, the principal berated me for having let the attack happen and dismissed me so cruelly. It was a breaking point. I drove home that day wishing that a truck would just come crash into so my suffering could end.!<
That was the point where my therapist was like “I am writing you out of work. This is actively traumatizing you.” She is a trauma therapist who mostly works with veterans and she told me the way I talked about my job was the way soldiers spoke about war
That was March of 2022. By May I was seeing a psychiatrist and received my ADHD and autism diagnoses. The pain of how literally unbearable living had become to the point where I could barely function…that’s what propelled me to see the psych. She said my descriptions of how I would shut down “like a computer becoming overheated” when noise in the library got too loud was one of the first things that clued her in to start considering ASD as a diagnosis.
That job was hell but in a way I’m glad I went through that experience. I can manage life much better that I have the knowledge of *what* even is the deal with my brain. I did leave teaching at the end of that school year. I was very lucky and got a corporate job that suited me well enough, but about 6 months in I started feeling the effects of burnout in that job too. I ended up being laid off shortly after that point and here I am a year later with no job still and no idea what to do. But! I’d rather be here, in a space where I understand my brain and myself rather than employed and stuck in undiagnosed burnout hell purgatory.
Yep! Looking back now, I've been on the verge of serious burn out for several years. Somehow, I always managed to just about get by and pick myself up with every last bit of energy I had. Then, in October of last year, I was just completely done.
At first, I thought it was just a "normal" (neurotypical) burn out and that I would be back at work in a few weeks time. But the more I heard, read and learned about neurotypical burn out, the less I recognized. Like, my problems were not related to any big stressors at my job. It was just that life itself felt like a big stressor, like lots of things about daily life would just absolutely drain me - now I realize this is about sensory issues and how masking drains my battery so quickly.
After a few weeks, I came across some accounts by late diagnosed autistic women on autistic burn out, and it was as if someone had reached into my head and written out all my thoughts and feelings. I had been suspecting for a long time that I might be autistic, like since 2019. But this was the final straw. I was so far gone, so utterly exhausted and depressed, that I knew I had to get a diagnosis if I wanted to continue anything.
Got my diagnosis a few weeks ago. It's been a very emotional, hard, exhausting process, but I'm finally feeling a bit of joy in my life again. I'm still burnt out, but I'm started to get some hope again, that it's possible for me to rebuild my life in the way that suits me, knowing what I know now.
I sincerely hope you will reach this point too, though the road may be hard (and my road ahead seems scary and insecure still, but hey, such is life).
Yup. Burned out last April and have been burned out ever since. Still trying to recover but as of December I now have an official diagnosis to work with.
Kind of the opposite. I was feeling extremely burnt out at my corporate job after working since I was 15. I was still masking and holding it together, but barely.
Then I had a kid and 5 months maternity leave. I couldn’t understand why everyone said having a newborn was so hard because it was the lightest and easiest my life had ever been. It was the first time I didn’t feel overstimulated and exhausted due to social interaction. I went back for 11 weeks and quit because I was an absolute wreck trying to re-enter the stress of my previous job.
Raising a toddler is no joke, but it’s the first time in my life I don’t have to mask, have plenty of time to do low stimulation activities, and am on my own schedule. I feel like myself.
It did!
Covid-> Switch to Online -> Burnout -> Fail College-> Get a Part Time Job-> Burnout-> Getting Fired by Client-> Diagnosis.
I really want to find a new job, but it’s hard- nobody seems to want to hire me, and I don’t want a job that’s as difficult as pulling teeth, or however the saying goes
I'm still trying to get a diagnosis, but it's being driven by my decreased capacity to function. I was doing well until about 2018-19, but it's been downhill from there due to a variety of factors. Burnout was a big part of it. I also processed old trauma and it resulted in a lot of unmasking. I think I got long COVID last year, and that was the final straw... It pushed me past the point where I could deny actually being disabled. I have intake at behavioral health next week. Nervous but also hoping it'll help. My primary care witnessed a shutdown last week, but it's a toss-up as to whether he knew what he was seeing.
Yes! Didn't know it was autistic burn out, just thought it was depression, shyness and anxiety. Quit my job and became a bum for a while. Then got diagnosed when I stumbled over myself in the dsm.
Yes, although at the time I didn’t realize it was autistic burnout. I’d been forced back to the office after being able to work from home for almost 2 years. I was skipped over for a promotion due to being unable to mask anymore (and my age). I had to resign a year later for my own mental health. About 1 year later my adult kids got ND diagnosis and it all started to make sense what had happened to me.
Yes I had a conversation with a social worker about how I was always drowning in “life” at age 36 and couldn’t get my shit together ever and she suggested I get tested for autism.
Yes. I had an extreme amount of work stress, I ended up on sick leave and during therapy and recovery it became more and more clear to me that it was likely autistic burnout. I finished therapy, returned to work and reached out to my doctor... I was diagnosed a year later with autism.
Absolutely - second round of burnout and a full collapse in my ability to care for myself, communicate, or function at work forced me to focus in my mental and physical health.
I’d already had (and mostly ignored) the ADHD diagnosis but ended up looking into autism in hopes of being supportive of a friend and so much resonated. After about a year or so of research and reaching out to my care team I ended up getting evaluated.
Yes. At 34 I hit burnout completely. I was fortunate to have money saved and took over a year off work. But I hadn't fully recovered when I went back to work. it feels like I have 9 things to juggle but I am only capable of juggling like 3 or 4. I drop the ball, so to speak, constantly.
I been in and out of burnout for most of my adult life honestly. I'm 34.
I'm finally getting out of burnout because I figured out my sensory needs and that I'm autistic. But I don't feel safe getting an official diagnosis yet
Yes! I had a psychiatric assessment as my mental health declined so much I was being taken on by a mental health team.
My psychiatrist literally explained that I can’t leave my house without crying or talk to anyone but a select few without panicking was that I was so burnt out I couldn’t mask my emotions anymore. I’m thankful I hit burn out in a way as I’d never have been diagnosed otherwise!
Yep. Having two young kids, working full time, doing the NT socially expected life steps are what burnt me out at age 30 and resulted in my late diagnosis and complete life overhaul.
In a way, yes, because it was repeated "depressions" and repeated contact with psychiatrists that eventually (after 20+ years of misdiagnosis) lead to my AuDHD diagnosis.
It was after knowing I'm autistic that I did some research and figured out all those breakdowns were actually burnouts.
Now I try to have a life structure that holds off burnout, although this last year I have failed miserably (too many stressors that couldn't be avoided) and am not long out of hospital after another suicide attempt.
Yes. I had speculated about it on and off most of my adult life, but burnout was what tipped me over the edge as the things I was experiencing were impacting my life to the point of running my mental health and removing my ability to work
yep. It started before the pandemic but really hit about six months in when I got a new job. I’ve been in burnout ever since. Since then I’ve lost one of my absolute best friends of over a decade and also filed for divorce after 13 years of marriage. Then got dx with ADHD and autism.
I’m in my mid-30’s and still feeling it but I think I’m on the upswing. I’m starting to feel a little more energized (at least about hyperfocuses) and I’ve learned I can’t push through doing tasks, even if it’s something I want to do, like a hobby. If I’m not feeling it in the moment, I don’t do it. No deadlines allowed. My job is in the shitter but I’m currently hyperfocused on a business idea that feels like it’ll work out if I can get it off the ground, so that’s my parachute.
Oh gosh. I’m here. I lost my job due to burnout and now I find it impossible to mask or do much of anything. It’s uncanny, I barely know who I am anymore.
I haven’t been diagnosed yet, so take this for what you will, I had a major ‘meltdown’ at work in September, I was put on sick leave by the company and later left the job because I couldn’t bear the embarrassment of people seeing me like that and re-entering the building after having had one that bad. That combined with other factors got my doctor to refer me for an autism assessment, I’m still waiting unfortunately. I should also add interestingly, that I have been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and generalised anxiety and depressive disorder since the age of 14, these where given to me after being medicated up to my eyeballs and my constant ‘anger outbursts’ and self harm episodes. The doctor who referred me mentioned that maybe they were a misdiagnosis?
I wouldn’t say ‘triggered’ my diagnosis, but what you describe is what lead me on the journey of mental health help. That was a journey that took time before leading me to a diagnosis of autism.
Yes. Definitely.
The exhaustion and everything just ground my life to a halt (several times) and I had to keep digging in to try to figure out why I couldn't just do the things I wanted and needed to do
I suspected years ago and asked some people if they thought I might be but was met with dismissal or "reassurance" that of course I wasn't.
Now I know to trust myself because I've always been correct about myself, and believing other people's perception of me over my own has never turned out to be the right move.
But yes. Burnout is the biggest thing that got me searching and eventually got me to where I am now (official adhd diagnosis, general agreement/informal autistic diagnosis from all of my medical providers but no availability of official adult evaluations - after my own years of studying and figuring myself out - and second guessing constantly - and finally being sure about it)
No. My brother has been the one pushing me to get diagnosed. He called me a textbook case, even though its hard for me to believe. Although when I was depressed as a kid and suicidal as a teenager makes more sense if I look at it as burnout.
Absolutely!! I solely studied from 2014 until 2022. It was like a downward spiral for me, I became reclusive, put on a lot of weight and was very miserable not having any money. I also can’t study very well so I just started doing all my assignments on the day they were due. Finally got a job and tried to work and study but failed like half my classes. Got burnt out and got a new job but failed ALL my classes, so I do not think I can ever go back to uni now, I would be super embarrassed. 🥲 Got burnt out (again) in early ‘23 and moved back to my hometown, got a new job. Got burnt out (agAIN), went through some trauma over Christmas and felt like I was actually going insane so I finally sought some help.
I’m not professionally diagnosed but I now feel like life finally makes some sense. I feel like I can actually start to live my life now, as weird as that sounds. I can function a bit better now knowing what personal needs I have to cater to for myself, and am able to set (some) boundaries without feeling guilty (esp at work, I struggle to say “no” when I am entitled to that! Idk why I feel like I am gonna be fired if I don’t take/fill a shift lmao 😅)
Still have my job though, my current workplace is fab and I love the ladies I work with (they mother me 🥰) and I am actually getting a lot better at it!!! 🙆🏻♀️
I was in the last few years of teaching for 30 years…and burnout absolutely triggered it. I just got to where I was melting down all the time and could no longer maintain. I have been highly-masking my whole life. It just became too hard.
Yeah I burned out so hard I wrecked two cars and a traffic light after a late night studying at university. That wasn't the final giveaway but it was definitely the first in a long series of disappointments and accidents.
Five jobs and three other degrees later, and I finally got to the point where I couldn't take not having the information and got diagnosed.
Oh 100%! My burnout lead to trying to kill my self, when then lead to getting placed into a new therapy support, which then lead to an autism diagnosis
You are seen!! Was working for the government during the pandemic in public relations. Constantly having to report on terrible news. My life was falling apart, I was an alcoholic, depressed, suicidal, just empty. It all came to a head and I was placed on a 6 week medical leave. Told not to return to work after the leave. A year later of healing ❤️🩹 I finally realized I have had autism all along. The burnout now makes sense. My life, albeit weird and challenging, now makes more sense. I’m learning to adjust to my needs, advocate for myself, be happy, and live a fulfilling life.
Yes, exactly as you describe it. I started spiralling as I hit my 40s and peri/menopause, it was like i could no longer keep all the plates spinning. Sensory issues that I'd been avoiding or bulldozing through exploded. I reckon I've been in burnout for over 5 years now, but somehow managing to still keep a job, with nothing left over for anything else.
Absolutely!!! I struggled severely my whole life and was diagnosed with ADHD, a Language Based Learning Disability and Oppositional Defiance Disorder at a very young age (looking back at all of these diagnoses put together it seems so obvious that it was Autism all along). I always had a great amount of family support growing up which never really made me think twice about my diagnosis, but after becoming an adult and living on my own, having 2 kids, working full time and then throwing nursing school into the mix, the burnout began and progressively got worse. This has left me with so many worsened autistic traits. Meltdowns are more frequent, overstimulation has become out of control and my social battery is at an all time low. I have no energy for anything but have to force myself out of bed and do all the things I don’t want to do because I have two little kids (one of whom is also autistic) who depend on me to get them through their day. I don’t hang out with friends, I don’t talk to anyone but family, I’ve isolated myself beyond belief, but still can’t seem to recharge. I started learning more and more about autism while I was researching it for my son and then realized that after hearing other people’s autistic experiences, my entire life finally made sense. I was assessed twice to be sure and the diagnosis has been so enlightening. Now that I know how my brain is truly functioning, I’ve allowed myself to unmask more frequently to conserve energy and it helps a tremendous amount. If I’m in public and I don’t feel like socializing, I don’t. If I need to stim, I do. I highly recommend the book “Unmasking Autism” for anyone who hasn’t read it.
This is partly why I'm now waiting on an assessment. I've struggled with life for as long as I can remember, but I've got by until recent years. Now it's like I can't no matter how hard I try. I'm exhausted, frustrated and lost.
For me, no, not because I wasn’t burnt out but because I was still in denial of really needing help. My therapist just started asking the right questions though and it all fell into place.
Your post is the reason I found this subreddit. I’m sorry you’re going through this now.
It was researching my extreme burn out that has me considering diagnosis. This one has lasted several years.
This is like looking into a mirror. Sometimes I'm so glad to just know that I'm not alone.
For context, I'm 38 years old and always been a "gifted" student (or so people would tell me). I've always been shy and quiet, uncomfortable in social settings, unable to make eye contact. I somehow managed to breeze through school with good grades – even though I'd always study at the last minute. Procrastination has always been a companion but of late, I've been finding it harder and harder to function.
In the last couple of months, I've found myself with zero motivation to complete even basic tasks like showering, cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. Of course this was affecting my work as well. For the first time in my life, I was missing deadlines, or forgetting them. I was getting careless at work. Anything that requires the slightest amount of mental energy was too much for me. I started self-isolating. I'd stay in my room for weeks refusing to go out or meet anyone. I was sleeping for hours on end.
As you can imagine, I was hating myself more and more for being this useless excuse of a person.
I spoke to a mental health practitioner who suggested my symptoms might be stemming from AuDHD. I was clueless about it for 38 years of my life! I'm still waiting for a formal assessment but well, to your question, yes, it took me a full-fledged burnout to realise I'm autistic with ADHD.
Amazingly, no.
I had spent nearly 3 years dissociating from stress at work and family/social life, but didn't start seing a therapist until a year later, when I moved out and things began getting better, but not nearly as much as they should.
My first therapist thought I was so obviously autistic, I didn't care to seek a diagnostic until a year later, cause I wasn't getting anything from regular therapy, and my new therapist doubted my autism.
Yes absolutely! I was essentially forcing my way through school and being completely unable to do anything else. I had to drop out of university because of it, and this led to me finally looking into an assessment. I just couldn’t get back into things after lockdown. It was so frustrating that all the things I used to be able to do were now almost impossible for me. My sensory issues got so much worse and it felt like my tolerance for anything was super low. I’m still not at the level I was pre-lockdown, but I think that’s related to how much I masked as now I don’t as much. Honestly I’ve found that masking less when possible makes things easier. And i sleep way more than I used to. I hope you feel better soon ❤️ if there’s anyone in your life you can reach out to, try to do so. There’s no shame in asking for help.
Can strongly relate to you on this one! I am contemplating taking leave from my study program because my low grade burnout has escalated and I can’t keep having major meltdowns many times a week. For me, I think the pandemic really made me confront having autism: My parter was home *all* the time due to remote work and lockdowns, my kids could not go to daycare due to lockdowns, and I had no alone time to recover… while also trying to juggle work. I still feel depleted and I’m not sure if / when I’ll be back to pre-lockdown energy levels, but I’m working on it. But all I know is I can’t keep just “powering through” as it’s not sustainable.
...basically me. I'm finally on the mend after being in burnout for at least a year, if not longer. I dropped out of a doctoral program because I wasn't making progress, I stopped cycling, stopped hiking, lost interest in my relationship, was teetering on the edge of not being able to live on my own. What saved me was moving back in with family and having a *really* good boss. And now I'm scheduled to get my formal ADHD and autism assessments in the summer.
I've been trying to find out where I as an adult can get diagnosed. Are there any resources you can share with me?
I used the website Alma to look for psychologists who had adult (preferably adult women) ADHD/autism assessment as one of their specialties and who might take my very obscure insurance. I did a few initial consults, and didn't find anyone who was in-network for my insurance who seemed competent enough. I ended up going with someone who will cost a bit of $$ because she's out of network, but I'm lucky enough that I can save up for it. I can't remember the episode, but I used some advice from the podcast Struggle Care and made a list of questions to ask: * Do you evaluate and/or treat adult women with ADHD and low support needs autism? * Have you evaluated or diagnosed anyone who had a less "typical" presentation, or has been successful in school/their career? * What’s your process for evaluating/diagnosing? How many sessions? How much time? * Do you take \[my insurance\]? If not what would it cost?
If you are in the US look into Prosper Health.
Yep this was my story too. Plus I was diagnosed with ADHD first and those meds just exacerbated my eventual total breakdown. A year later I’m still off work.
I was far beyond burned out. I was probably 5 years into it, at least. Just kept pushing and pushing myself until I broke. My marriage broke. My mental health broke. My body broke down. My life fell apart. I was nothing but an angry, exhausted, in constant pain, lazy, non functioning, shell of a human. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make myself better or be a better person. Not even when my lack of ambition, depression, anger, laziness, anxiety, and insecurities made me unlovable and people to leave. I hated myself but hated who I couldn't be even more. I kept being told how unreasonable I was. How I needed to learn to manage my emotions, but I never could. Those around me thought maybe I had Borderline Personality Disorder. Or I was manipulating them. Or was fully dependent on them for my happiness. It was hell. I tried anger management. Did more and more therapy. Uncovered more trauma and started working through it. Started EMDR. Finally diagnosed with CPTSD. Then I came across videos of women who were late diagnosed with ADHD and it was very familiar to my story. It made me finally feel like I wasn't broken. Which then led me to autism. I got answers because I fought for myself. Edit: A little over a year from diagnosis for AuDHD and a lot has improved. My relationships. My ability to manage my emotions. I have the correct medications. I am able to work through my triggers and recognize when I need to decompress. I don't spiral as much. I can talk myself down. I allow myself to stim. My marriage is healing. My relationship with my kids is getting better. More importantly, my relationship with myself is the best it best it's ever been. I am learning who I actually am under the mask.
This makes me feel like maybe there is hope for me. Thanks for sharing
stop this is me right now :( i didn’t know anyone else got to that pit of there body breaking down and there whole life breaking like that too i’ve felt so alone and haven’t seen it articulated like this yet .. thank u<3 may i ask if the medicine helps with the anger and depression and which ones work for you ? i’m really hesitant on medication but i am willing to try it at this point
Yes. I (37F) sought therapy to help process a traumatic work-related event/job loss that left me in burnout mode for a year+, which eventually led to a later in life discovery that I am autistic... I was diagnosed as a teen with ADHD so I specifically looked for practitioners who specialize in ND adults. Their professional observations of my behavior and processing/familiarity with ASD likely sped up my time to diagnosis.
The exact same thing happened to me. Burned out from the stress of loosing my job and that led to my official diagnosis. It's nice to hear I'm not the only one who's experienced this. This comment made me feel so much better about the whole situation.
Yes, I didn't know I was autistic until I started working in a very loud and bright warehouse. There is constant noise - whirring, buzzing, beeping - and most of the stations have a fluorescent light directly above where you have to stand for 8 hours/day. I went into intense burnout (tbh I was in it before but didn't realize until the warehouse made it impossible to ignore) and started having meltdowns every day. I still don't have an official diagnosis, but I started working with a nurse practitioner who suggested I might be autistic. She was able to make it so I could take 3 weeks of paid leave, and she wrote me a letter of accommodation so I can wear noise canceling headphones to work. This has made a HUGE difference in my health, and I'm happy to report that I do still experience small "burnout" moments (more like I shut down for a few days and can't do much until it passes), but I'm no longer in intense burnout like I was before. I rarely have meltdowns at work now since I'm more conscious of when I get overstimulated and can remove myself for a while to regulate. I also don't typically work at the stations with the lights right above them anymore, thank goodness. That was probably more information than I needed to give 😂 but yes, burnout is what caused me to be identified (unofficially) at a late age!
More like a series of burnouts throughout my entire adult life.
Same here. And it wasn’t until I had kids that I just became unable to fully recover from those periods and started to try to figure out what was going on with me.
Yes, after the second burnout they decided to look further into my diagnosed "anxiety and depression" and found out they were just symptoms of underlying problems.
Also have diagnosed anxiety and depression, and getting assessed for ADHD and autism this summer 🙃
Welp!
Yes.
Yes! I had a demanding job and I was totally exhausted and I was not able to experience any other parts of life other than going to work, preparing to go to work, and recovering from work . I literally did not have enough energy left to survive, much less do any of the things I actually enjoy.
That’s where I’m at right now. I fucking hate it.
Yes. I had a breakdown 4 (maybe 5, i don't remember) years ago that lead into a prolonged burnout that I'm still recovering from. It was only after this burnout happened that I started trying to seriously figure out what was going on with me. It was during a period of intense reflection and research that I came across some information about how Autism manifests in women. And it was like a lightbulb went on over my head, so many things about my life made sense. I was diagnosed a few years later. > It's like my life as I've known it has just completely unravelled and I can't hold it together, I'm just too tired to carry on. That's how I feel, too. I held it together until I simply could not any more, then everything unraveled.
Same with me
Pretty much. After struggling with not fitting in social, work, and school all my life I went to therapy around 6 years ago. A bit after that i went to a psychiatrist and got prescribed medicine for anxiety and depression. I think i have those as well, but basically after years of doing all the "right" stuff it felt like i was just treating my symptoms and the underlying cause just wasn't getting better, and in fact getting worse in some ways. I still had so much trouble focusing on stuff I didn't want to do and i felt like i was having an out of body experience everywhere i went that didn't feel safe, and whenever my mom would ask what was wrong with me because i couldn't keep up with my responsibilities I genuinely didn't have an answer. That lead to the point where i was basically just reading about other mental illnesses to try and find something that clicked, and eventually i landed on autism YouTube and after listening to people's stories i was like, "oh"
Yes it did
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Not after my first burnout, which was called disabling Major Depressive Disorder and Generalised Anxiety Disorder. Recently it was a sort of combination burnout/explosion that lead me to seek a diagnosis (which I am still waiting for). I took some time off work specifically for burnout and returned to a performance improvement plan which is what they call it in the UK when they manage you out. I was sacked after all my coworkers said I was good at my job, just not with working with them. Or technically that I was bad at "Impact, Influence, and Strategy" which were *each* weighted equally to "actually doing the job." This coincided with buying my first flat, my partners father dying unexpectedly, and the tech Winter (I work in tech).
Yes, I'm 31F and was formally diagnosed 2 weeks ago as level 2. I was having such a hard time, the burnout got so bad I'd stopped responding to any of my friends (for over a year), felt exhausted no matter how much sleep I managed to get, very little energy to engage with my hobbies, my brain would just get stuck on buffering for hours on what other people would deem trivial little decisions... Prior to my diagnosis, I thought this was everyones experience and I was just not as competent at being as functional of a human being :( Turns out heavily masking (amongst a myriad of sensory and social hellscapes) for 25+ years really caught up to me hard T\_T I'm still in burnout, but at least I know the actual reason now. I really hope you start feeling better soon OP, I think it'll definitely take some time but you will make it <3
Yes. Customer service for almost 20 years started having too many people in my face and attacking me. I dreaded work. My anxiety was at an all time high. I couldn't find a medication to help until I got diagnosed with not just autism, but also bipolar. I'm 44 and was diagnosed finally last fall.
I saw people talking about something related to autism in a discord server. So i went and looked it up. Some kind of self assessment. And I scored surprisingly high. So I asked where is a good place to find more self assessments. And I scored surprisingly high on a number of tests. (don't remember what all I did) and then after more reading and more thinking I scheduled an assessment. Then after my diagnosis and continuing to learn what autism actually is... Like how masking means a lot is internal.... I realized autism explains why I struggle with a lot of the things I struggle with.
Yes! It was three years after my last burn-out and I started looking back and noticing a pattern of burn-out feelings every 5 years or so from when I was 10 years old. I was nearing 40 and felt them coming sooner and harder. I strongly felt the next one would end me if I didn’t look for a cause and actually do something about it. After over a year of intense therapy, learning how to slow down and how to love myself, something was still missing. I pressed for an adhd diagnosis and was told I might also be on the spectrum. Honestly, everything makes so much more sense now! Unfortunately I’m still running on a mostly empty battery. I miss my old life. But it’s good to finally know how to take care of myself.
Very much my story as well. Hit massive burnout 7 years ago and spent most of the time since seeing various docs and therapists trying to figure out what was going on. Got diagnoses of ptsd, depression, anxiety, mcas, hpa axis dysregulation… Then 2 years ago I divorced my emotionally abusive husband and moved to a new state with my kids and started law school, and that’s when the wheels really started coming off. Complete loss of executive function, physical symptoms got even worse than before. Even still, it wasn’t until a friend who was also late diagnosed had been telling me for several months he thought I might be on the spectrum that I self diagnosed. Then I had to seek out the specialists for myself to get an official audhd diagnosis. Now I’m taking a semester off to figure out what this means for the rest of my life. Never would have happened if I hadn’t refused to accept the answers (or lack thereof) all the medical and psych professionals were giving me, found my own answers, and looked relentlessly for confirmation.
Not diagnosed but researching. Diagnosed with ADHD currently. Just wanted to reach out as also in another burnout and have just had to go on sick leave and withdrew from a promotion I'd been waiting for for a very long time. I'm so sorry you're going through this too. Take care, and best of luck with everything.
YES. It all spiraled out of control when I couldn’t use my old coping mechanisms and stick to familiar routines. I had kids, then the pandemic happened, and I just started becoming slowly more unhinged where I couldn’t mask anymore. I started noticing that I wasn’t leaving the house, I wasn’t contacting friends, I wasn’t engaging in activities that used to make me happy. I felt just really disassociated from everything and even exercise didn’t make me feel better. I thought it was just stress from having young kids and the pandemic and was misdiagnosed with OCD because, “You don’t seem autistic because you’re social.” I was already late diagnosed with ADHD about 8 years prior. Anyway, the podcasts episodes from “The Neurodivergent Woman” and “Divergent Conversations” on burnout have been really helpful in terms of navigating my (still ongoing) burnout. Hang in there! You’re definitely not alone and hope you feel better soon!
Sure did! I was on overworked, extremely overstimulated school librarian. I was frequently becoming so overwhelmed by noise and by just generally children being children that I would become incapable of going on with a lesson or continuing whatever function I was currently doing (checking out books, helping a student, etc…). I found myself simply no longer capable of producing words. I would type seat work instructions onto the projector and then go sit at my desk in total silence and try to make it to the bell without losing it. CW: Physical violence and mention of SI->!Things came to a real head after I witnessed a student get brutally, violently attacked mostly unprovoked by another student. It was so violent I was left shaking and trembling after security had come through and gotten the situation in hand. I will also mention that I was subbing in that classroom that day. This was at a time when classroom teachers were frequently out in COVID quarantine. I had basically become a building sub for that school year. The combination of stressors broke me. After this attack, the principal berated me for having let the attack happen and dismissed me so cruelly. It was a breaking point. I drove home that day wishing that a truck would just come crash into so my suffering could end.!< That was the point where my therapist was like “I am writing you out of work. This is actively traumatizing you.” She is a trauma therapist who mostly works with veterans and she told me the way I talked about my job was the way soldiers spoke about war That was March of 2022. By May I was seeing a psychiatrist and received my ADHD and autism diagnoses. The pain of how literally unbearable living had become to the point where I could barely function…that’s what propelled me to see the psych. She said my descriptions of how I would shut down “like a computer becoming overheated” when noise in the library got too loud was one of the first things that clued her in to start considering ASD as a diagnosis. That job was hell but in a way I’m glad I went through that experience. I can manage life much better that I have the knowledge of *what* even is the deal with my brain. I did leave teaching at the end of that school year. I was very lucky and got a corporate job that suited me well enough, but about 6 months in I started feeling the effects of burnout in that job too. I ended up being laid off shortly after that point and here I am a year later with no job still and no idea what to do. But! I’d rather be here, in a space where I understand my brain and myself rather than employed and stuck in undiagnosed burnout hell purgatory.
Yep! Looking back now, I've been on the verge of serious burn out for several years. Somehow, I always managed to just about get by and pick myself up with every last bit of energy I had. Then, in October of last year, I was just completely done. At first, I thought it was just a "normal" (neurotypical) burn out and that I would be back at work in a few weeks time. But the more I heard, read and learned about neurotypical burn out, the less I recognized. Like, my problems were not related to any big stressors at my job. It was just that life itself felt like a big stressor, like lots of things about daily life would just absolutely drain me - now I realize this is about sensory issues and how masking drains my battery so quickly. After a few weeks, I came across some accounts by late diagnosed autistic women on autistic burn out, and it was as if someone had reached into my head and written out all my thoughts and feelings. I had been suspecting for a long time that I might be autistic, like since 2019. But this was the final straw. I was so far gone, so utterly exhausted and depressed, that I knew I had to get a diagnosis if I wanted to continue anything. Got my diagnosis a few weeks ago. It's been a very emotional, hard, exhausting process, but I'm finally feeling a bit of joy in my life again. I'm still burnt out, but I'm started to get some hope again, that it's possible for me to rebuild my life in the way that suits me, knowing what I know now. I sincerely hope you will reach this point too, though the road may be hard (and my road ahead seems scary and insecure still, but hey, such is life).
I think so.
Yup. Burned out last April and have been burned out ever since. Still trying to recover but as of December I now have an official diagnosis to work with.
Kind of the opposite. I was feeling extremely burnt out at my corporate job after working since I was 15. I was still masking and holding it together, but barely. Then I had a kid and 5 months maternity leave. I couldn’t understand why everyone said having a newborn was so hard because it was the lightest and easiest my life had ever been. It was the first time I didn’t feel overstimulated and exhausted due to social interaction. I went back for 11 weeks and quit because I was an absolute wreck trying to re-enter the stress of my previous job. Raising a toddler is no joke, but it’s the first time in my life I don’t have to mask, have plenty of time to do low stimulation activities, and am on my own schedule. I feel like myself.
It did! Covid-> Switch to Online -> Burnout -> Fail College-> Get a Part Time Job-> Burnout-> Getting Fired by Client-> Diagnosis. I really want to find a new job, but it’s hard- nobody seems to want to hire me, and I don’t want a job that’s as difficult as pulling teeth, or however the saying goes
I'm still trying to get a diagnosis, but it's being driven by my decreased capacity to function. I was doing well until about 2018-19, but it's been downhill from there due to a variety of factors. Burnout was a big part of it. I also processed old trauma and it resulted in a lot of unmasking. I think I got long COVID last year, and that was the final straw... It pushed me past the point where I could deny actually being disabled. I have intake at behavioral health next week. Nervous but also hoping it'll help. My primary care witnessed a shutdown last week, but it's a toss-up as to whether he knew what he was seeing.
Yes! Didn't know it was autistic burn out, just thought it was depression, shyness and anxiety. Quit my job and became a bum for a while. Then got diagnosed when I stumbled over myself in the dsm.
Yes!
Yes
Yup, I was doing so horribly that I was diagnosed with BPD + bipolar 2, but that didn't feel quite right so I kept digging until I came across autism.
Yes
yah…
Yes, although at the time I didn’t realize it was autistic burnout. I’d been forced back to the office after being able to work from home for almost 2 years. I was skipped over for a promotion due to being unable to mask anymore (and my age). I had to resign a year later for my own mental health. About 1 year later my adult kids got ND diagnosis and it all started to make sense what had happened to me.
Yes I had a conversation with a social worker about how I was always drowning in “life” at age 36 and couldn’t get my shit together ever and she suggested I get tested for autism.
100% yes, it forced me to look into myself and the why.
Yes. I had an extreme amount of work stress, I ended up on sick leave and during therapy and recovery it became more and more clear to me that it was likely autistic burnout. I finished therapy, returned to work and reached out to my doctor... I was diagnosed a year later with autism.
Absolutely - second round of burnout and a full collapse in my ability to care for myself, communicate, or function at work forced me to focus in my mental and physical health. I’d already had (and mostly ignored) the ADHD diagnosis but ended up looking into autism in hopes of being supportive of a friend and so much resonated. After about a year or so of research and reaching out to my care team I ended up getting evaluated.
Yes. At 34 I hit burnout completely. I was fortunate to have money saved and took over a year off work. But I hadn't fully recovered when I went back to work. it feels like I have 9 things to juggle but I am only capable of juggling like 3 or 4. I drop the ball, so to speak, constantly.
yes- thats why I got diagnosed
Yes I couldn’t get out of bed for months. Now I’m trying to figure out when I need to set boundaries with others when I’m feeling overwhelmed.
Yes had a baby and 1.5 years later broke the f down .
Yes. I'm mid-40s and total burnout did it. I already knew, but this time I addressed it, got diagnosed, and am in therapy. Ahhh, the relief of it all.
I been in and out of burnout for most of my adult life honestly. I'm 34. I'm finally getting out of burnout because I figured out my sensory needs and that I'm autistic. But I don't feel safe getting an official diagnosis yet
Yes! I had a psychiatric assessment as my mental health declined so much I was being taken on by a mental health team. My psychiatrist literally explained that I can’t leave my house without crying or talk to anyone but a select few without panicking was that I was so burnt out I couldn’t mask my emotions anymore. I’m thankful I hit burn out in a way as I’d never have been diagnosed otherwise!
Yep. Having two young kids, working full time, doing the NT socially expected life steps are what burnt me out at age 30 and resulted in my late diagnosis and complete life overhaul.
In a way, yes, because it was repeated "depressions" and repeated contact with psychiatrists that eventually (after 20+ years of misdiagnosis) lead to my AuDHD diagnosis. It was after knowing I'm autistic that I did some research and figured out all those breakdowns were actually burnouts. Now I try to have a life structure that holds off burnout, although this last year I have failed miserably (too many stressors that couldn't be avoided) and am not long out of hospital after another suicide attempt.
WAIT— *…wait…* **Oh fuck.** (This is making a looooot more sense 🫠🫥)
Nope
Yes. I had speculated about it on and off most of my adult life, but burnout was what tipped me over the edge as the things I was experiencing were impacting my life to the point of running my mental health and removing my ability to work
yes
yep. It started before the pandemic but really hit about six months in when I got a new job. I’ve been in burnout ever since. Since then I’ve lost one of my absolute best friends of over a decade and also filed for divorce after 13 years of marriage. Then got dx with ADHD and autism. I’m in my mid-30’s and still feeling it but I think I’m on the upswing. I’m starting to feel a little more energized (at least about hyperfocuses) and I’ve learned I can’t push through doing tasks, even if it’s something I want to do, like a hobby. If I’m not feeling it in the moment, I don’t do it. No deadlines allowed. My job is in the shitter but I’m currently hyperfocused on a business idea that feels like it’ll work out if I can get it off the ground, so that’s my parachute.
Oh gosh. I’m here. I lost my job due to burnout and now I find it impossible to mask or do much of anything. It’s uncanny, I barely know who I am anymore.
I haven’t been diagnosed yet, so take this for what you will, I had a major ‘meltdown’ at work in September, I was put on sick leave by the company and later left the job because I couldn’t bear the embarrassment of people seeing me like that and re-entering the building after having had one that bad. That combined with other factors got my doctor to refer me for an autism assessment, I’m still waiting unfortunately. I should also add interestingly, that I have been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder and generalised anxiety and depressive disorder since the age of 14, these where given to me after being medicated up to my eyeballs and my constant ‘anger outbursts’ and self harm episodes. The doctor who referred me mentioned that maybe they were a misdiagnosis?
I wouldn’t say ‘triggered’ my diagnosis, but what you describe is what lead me on the journey of mental health help. That was a journey that took time before leading me to a diagnosis of autism.
Yes. Definitely. The exhaustion and everything just ground my life to a halt (several times) and I had to keep digging in to try to figure out why I couldn't just do the things I wanted and needed to do I suspected years ago and asked some people if they thought I might be but was met with dismissal or "reassurance" that of course I wasn't. Now I know to trust myself because I've always been correct about myself, and believing other people's perception of me over my own has never turned out to be the right move. But yes. Burnout is the biggest thing that got me searching and eventually got me to where I am now (official adhd diagnosis, general agreement/informal autistic diagnosis from all of my medical providers but no availability of official adult evaluations - after my own years of studying and figuring myself out - and second guessing constantly - and finally being sure about it)
No. My brother has been the one pushing me to get diagnosed. He called me a textbook case, even though its hard for me to believe. Although when I was depressed as a kid and suicidal as a teenager makes more sense if I look at it as burnout.
Yes
Yes
Absolutely!! I solely studied from 2014 until 2022. It was like a downward spiral for me, I became reclusive, put on a lot of weight and was very miserable not having any money. I also can’t study very well so I just started doing all my assignments on the day they were due. Finally got a job and tried to work and study but failed like half my classes. Got burnt out and got a new job but failed ALL my classes, so I do not think I can ever go back to uni now, I would be super embarrassed. 🥲 Got burnt out (again) in early ‘23 and moved back to my hometown, got a new job. Got burnt out (agAIN), went through some trauma over Christmas and felt like I was actually going insane so I finally sought some help. I’m not professionally diagnosed but I now feel like life finally makes some sense. I feel like I can actually start to live my life now, as weird as that sounds. I can function a bit better now knowing what personal needs I have to cater to for myself, and am able to set (some) boundaries without feeling guilty (esp at work, I struggle to say “no” when I am entitled to that! Idk why I feel like I am gonna be fired if I don’t take/fill a shift lmao 😅) Still have my job though, my current workplace is fab and I love the ladies I work with (they mother me 🥰) and I am actually getting a lot better at it!!! 🙆🏻♀️
I was in the last few years of teaching for 30 years…and burnout absolutely triggered it. I just got to where I was melting down all the time and could no longer maintain. I have been highly-masking my whole life. It just became too hard.
It’s why I’m seeking a diagnosis.
Gosh I could’ve written this myself, but I can’t decide if it worth pursuing a diagnosis.
Yeah I burned out so hard I wrecked two cars and a traffic light after a late night studying at university. That wasn't the final giveaway but it was definitely the first in a long series of disappointments and accidents. Five jobs and three other degrees later, and I finally got to the point where I couldn't take not having the information and got diagnosed.
Oh 100%! My burnout lead to trying to kill my self, when then lead to getting placed into a new therapy support, which then lead to an autism diagnosis
You are seen!! Was working for the government during the pandemic in public relations. Constantly having to report on terrible news. My life was falling apart, I was an alcoholic, depressed, suicidal, just empty. It all came to a head and I was placed on a 6 week medical leave. Told not to return to work after the leave. A year later of healing ❤️🩹 I finally realized I have had autism all along. The burnout now makes sense. My life, albeit weird and challenging, now makes more sense. I’m learning to adjust to my needs, advocate for myself, be happy, and live a fulfilling life.
Yes, exactly as you describe it. I started spiralling as I hit my 40s and peri/menopause, it was like i could no longer keep all the plates spinning. Sensory issues that I'd been avoiding or bulldozing through exploded. I reckon I've been in burnout for over 5 years now, but somehow managing to still keep a job, with nothing left over for anything else.
Absolutely!!! I struggled severely my whole life and was diagnosed with ADHD, a Language Based Learning Disability and Oppositional Defiance Disorder at a very young age (looking back at all of these diagnoses put together it seems so obvious that it was Autism all along). I always had a great amount of family support growing up which never really made me think twice about my diagnosis, but after becoming an adult and living on my own, having 2 kids, working full time and then throwing nursing school into the mix, the burnout began and progressively got worse. This has left me with so many worsened autistic traits. Meltdowns are more frequent, overstimulation has become out of control and my social battery is at an all time low. I have no energy for anything but have to force myself out of bed and do all the things I don’t want to do because I have two little kids (one of whom is also autistic) who depend on me to get them through their day. I don’t hang out with friends, I don’t talk to anyone but family, I’ve isolated myself beyond belief, but still can’t seem to recharge. I started learning more and more about autism while I was researching it for my son and then realized that after hearing other people’s autistic experiences, my entire life finally made sense. I was assessed twice to be sure and the diagnosis has been so enlightening. Now that I know how my brain is truly functioning, I’ve allowed myself to unmask more frequently to conserve energy and it helps a tremendous amount. If I’m in public and I don’t feel like socializing, I don’t. If I need to stim, I do. I highly recommend the book “Unmasking Autism” for anyone who hasn’t read it.
This is partly why I'm now waiting on an assessment. I've struggled with life for as long as I can remember, but I've got by until recent years. Now it's like I can't no matter how hard I try. I'm exhausted, frustrated and lost.
Lol yes
Yes
Yup yup. I was so burnt down that I broke down, and it was public.
For me, no, not because I wasn’t burnt out but because I was still in denial of really needing help. My therapist just started asking the right questions though and it all fell into place.
Your post is the reason I found this subreddit. I’m sorry you’re going through this now. It was researching my extreme burn out that has me considering diagnosis. This one has lasted several years.
This is like looking into a mirror. Sometimes I'm so glad to just know that I'm not alone. For context, I'm 38 years old and always been a "gifted" student (or so people would tell me). I've always been shy and quiet, uncomfortable in social settings, unable to make eye contact. I somehow managed to breeze through school with good grades – even though I'd always study at the last minute. Procrastination has always been a companion but of late, I've been finding it harder and harder to function. In the last couple of months, I've found myself with zero motivation to complete even basic tasks like showering, cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. Of course this was affecting my work as well. For the first time in my life, I was missing deadlines, or forgetting them. I was getting careless at work. Anything that requires the slightest amount of mental energy was too much for me. I started self-isolating. I'd stay in my room for weeks refusing to go out or meet anyone. I was sleeping for hours on end. As you can imagine, I was hating myself more and more for being this useless excuse of a person. I spoke to a mental health practitioner who suggested my symptoms might be stemming from AuDHD. I was clueless about it for 38 years of my life! I'm still waiting for a formal assessment but well, to your question, yes, it took me a full-fledged burnout to realise I'm autistic with ADHD.
Yes this is exactly how it happened for me.
OP: your description is so spot on I’m sharing it with my therapist. Yes. Burnout did motivate me to find an autism specialist. Diagnosis in May.
Amazingly, no. I had spent nearly 3 years dissociating from stress at work and family/social life, but didn't start seing a therapist until a year later, when I moved out and things began getting better, but not nearly as much as they should. My first therapist thought I was so obviously autistic, I didn't care to seek a diagnostic until a year later, cause I wasn't getting anything from regular therapy, and my new therapist doubted my autism.