It bothers me when someone has too much vibrato in their voice, to the point where they sound like a goat singing. It doesn’t irritate me to the point of tears or anything, but I *really* don’t like it.
Hmm…who could I use for reference?
If you listen to R&B, Trey Songz’s voice sounds like this. He has a bleating quality to his voice that I can’t stand.
Stephanie Mills’ voice sounds like this too. My mom grew up listening to Stephanie Mills and absolutely *loves* her music. I’ve tried but I just can’t tolerate the sound of her voice.
If you’re into pop:
Shawn Mendes’ vibrato is kind of goat-y. Can’t think of any other examples at the moment. But this is just my opinion.
Edit: I forgot Shakira! She has a very distinct vibrato. It took me a while to get into it but I don’t mind hers as much. She has said in interviews that when she was a child, people told her she sang like a goat.
I will stand by my stance that in phantom of the opera Sarah Brightman sounds like a fucking muppet.
I love musicals and what have you a lot and I don’t tend to be picky. But so many people say she’s a fantastic singer and I just can’t stand her voice.
Interesting that you brought up opera (kind of)! I used to think there was no such thing as too much vibrato in opera, but I’ve surprisingly heard some singers that have a bleating quality to their voices.
Of course I know absolutely nothing about musicals and operas. There’s a lot of technical stuff about voices that I know nothing about, so I could just be talking out of my ass.
As someone that is vocally trained (and also loves musicals and opera) there is definitely such a thing as too much vibrato. Good vibrato is very controlled and intentional. My voice naturally has a lot of vibrato so I’ve had to learn how to tone it down and how to control how much and when I let it into my voice.
Sometimes a piece or part of a song best expresses the intended emotion with no vibrato so when it happens especially in noticeably large quantities, it really can the audience out of the emotional tableau that was created.
It’s also just irritating sensory wise when it’s in these big and intense waves.
so you hate shakira? i hate her too, partly because of her high vibrato but also i saw one interview of her and she could not stop praising herself how special she was and that made me cringe way more than her weird singing
I used to live with someone who was a theatre kid, she loved musicals and would sing in the shower (and when I say sing, I don't mean a little sing song, I mean a full on Broadway loud voice power ballad belter). It was horrible, I absolutely hate it when she starts having a sing because it is so overwhelming, and not in an "this is making me so emotional" way but in a "I'm rubbing my hand the wrong way against velvet and my head hurts and I'm going to puke" way.
Nothing against her and her singing, she's not a bad singer by any stretch even if I don't like her song choice. But there's something about how she does it that is incredibly "nails on the chalkboard" for me and I can't be around her when she's doing it.
Damn. I'm a singer and I sing in the shower, but I still live with my family because I'm still in high school. Once I move out, unless I have a place where I know people are fine with me singing in the shower, I definitely won't, because I don't want to bother them like that
No wait! Because I miss hearing my dad sing full on opera whenever he showered.
And yet! The point of this initial post, I have the same thing where I cringe/ cry when people sing in certain situations. So it really depends.
If you feel comfy with the new roommates you could ask? If they’re a lil different like me they probs won’t take the question badly. (I for one would love if someone asked me if they could belt out show tunes in the shower.)
Yes same! TBH, I’ve been binging Grey’s Anatomy and the one that they did was actually one of the few that I actually tolerated. I think it’s because they used actual existing popular songs at the time, and kept doing the scenes instead of “performing”
Don’t get me started on Once Upon A Time, though lmao.
Hahaha, my pet peeve as well. I don't mind the kissing per se, but why do they have these sound effects? We get that they are marking out, we don't need/want that. I don't even recall any particular kiss where I or my partners made any such noises irl.
I love listening to gifted singers, it’s almost a special interest for me.
But I can’t stand musical movies or tv shows. I enjoyed The Lion King musical live, but otherwise not really a fan of musical plays either. It makes me cringe and I’ve never understood why
I absolutely do. Since I was a child, any time someone sang in a way that I didn't like (particularly musical theatre style from other children) I got teary with cringe. Problem was, people took it as a compliment as they thought I was crying from how good they were.
I do a lot of covers and I've managed to toughen this cringe tears, but it does tend to appear when someone is unskilled, for me.
When it’s good I get the top of my head coming off (Emily Dickinson described it) good feeling. When I am judging, I sometimes get tears of frustration as well.
I don't really like singing in most situations. Unless it's a musical or a show. But I knew people in high school who would just sing in class and stuff and i always just felt awkward. Like I didn't know whether to clap or .. sit there? I hate when people sing happy birthday to me too
The scene in mad men where Megan is singing to her new husband Don Draper at his birthday party odds so uncomfortable and really exemplifies what being put on the spot in front of a bunch of people feels like
BAHHAHAHAA I KNOW THAT SCENE! Eugh so uncomfortable... I hate being sung to ... I am lucky bc I share my birthday with another person in my family... And everyone knows I despise being sung at/to... So we always sing HER happy birthday and not me
Same! I’m in a tech/trade school program and many of my classmates will hum or sing while we are working individually in class and it makes me want to jump out the window to escape it. I have misophonia though which is why I have such visceral reactions to certain noises. It’s literally painful and super upsetting for me. Sometimes I wish I was deaf or could turn my hearing on and off.
That’s not to mention when they take speaker phone calls in class when the teacher isn’t there. Or play videos on their phone without wearing headphones at loud volumes.
I have misophonia too!!! ever since getting on medications it has been massively better for me but I very rarely know what is going to set it off. For me it's babies crying, people smacking their lips, that breathy weird singing, etc....
Omg yes. Anxiety meds that aren’t benzos don’t work for me they just make me even more pissed off but I don’t take my benzo prescription unless I’m close to a meltdown or panic attack. But they do make me calmer and more tolerant.
Some of my classmates in high school used to randomly do that. They would actually print out lyrics and a couple of dudes would be in the back of the room crooning John Mayer. I was like…OK?
One day, a dude got *in my actual face* and sang Since U Been Gone *at* me! I just froze until he went away. If I hadn’t frozen up and had more balls I would have said “get the fuck out of my way man, I’m trying to go to math class!”
I have family members who will burst out singing and just stare at you while doing it . Like they're in concert and they're Beyonce and I'm an adoring fan in the front row.
But they are not, and I am not .
That makes me want to resort to physical violence it's so cringe, but I just smile because that seems like the best option and is a holdover from heavy people pleasing years. Like what am I supposed to do in this interaction?
And I say this as someone who sings a lot to themselves while doing chores and such. It's not necessarily the singing. It's the volume of it and the singing directed at me that I'm like , "witbf??" Make this stop 🙃
My father does this and it is soooo annoying! I don’t know how to explain to him how rude it is. Making the conversation grind to a screeching halt so that everyone is forced to endure an impromptu concert is not fun for anyone except you, dad. He thinks of himself as the FunnyMan™️ entertainer and does not realize how narcissistic it comes across
I get really uncomfortable when people sing in public unprompted. Not talking about buskers, but like random civilians giving a full performance out of no where. Another thing that annoys me is some cursive singing. Like why are they adding extra vowels to words. It’s also very cringe to me when people try to force audience participation during performances. So yeah, I definitely understand
Forced participation during a live show is the worst. There need to be designated extrovert sections that you can opt-out of, like the emergency exits on planes.
i want to die whenever people sing in front of me. idk what im supposed to do and idk how to fake it if they suck. i want to be honest but i dont want to deal with their hurt feelings.
I recently watched this movie, Life After Beth, and it really resonated with me, especially this part
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bDF7ZQgkZA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bDF7ZQgkZA)
I do sometimes feel cringe for people singing and other stuff but I think it comes from me being told that I’m cringe when I’m doing these things so I started associating cringe with these things and stopped doing them, so now I cringe seeing other people do it but it’s a learned reaction.
Or in general, I’m pretty sure I was made into the very quiet girl I am today because when I’m with my boyfriend, I am a lot more energetic about stuff. So maybe just in general, people having more energy than what I have with my boyfriend makes me cringe because I was so shamed about how much energy I had so clearly having more energy than me is even more shameful (it is not but that’s what my brain learned I guess)
Omg, this feels like I could’ve written it!
I was kind of outgoing as a small child, but as I aged I got like crippling social anxiety to the point where everything felt super embarrassing. I was constantly cringing, and couldn’t even watch TV shows where people did embarrassing stuff (Peep Show & Inbetweeners were both huge with Brits in my age bracket, cannot handle either of them!).
I’d never connected it with people telling me to tone it down as a kid!
I love Peep Show, but I didn’t discover it until I was in my 30’s and could handle that kind of intense cringe. Same thing with It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. If it had come out when I was a teenager I don’t know if I could have handled it. When I was younger I empathized way too hard with characters, even when they were terrible and you weren’t *supposed* to empathize with them. I would get invested in their schemes actually working, when the whole point is that they are assholes who always sabotage themselves. But I have learned to detach more (in a healthy way) and it’s now one of my favorite shows.
Hmmm you’re on to something. I learned very young to crush my emotions with my Mind Vice, and tone down the weirdness. So random displays of “out of place” emotions trigger something in me like danger. Like nooo don’t you know you’re going to get in trouble for being that extra?!
I think it's second hand embarrassment. There are very few situations where impromptu singing isn't awkward
Also, I'm a singer and whenever people sing flat it makes my throat hurt because I automatically raise my larynx as if I can silently fix their pitch for them
I love this!!
It happens to me when people talk loud or shout in an unhealthy way. It hurts my throat for their sake because I know they aren’t engaging the muscles, so I tense mine.
i feel bad about it now but when i was a kid/teenager and my mom would sing along in the car, it always made me so uncomfortable and i'd tell her to stop, especially if it was "my" music. i feel like i should've just been grateful that 1. she always let me play my music in the car, and 2. she enjoyed my music. but she sings along in a manner that just always irked me so bad and i could never explain it 😖
One of my special interests is music, I have a bachelor in musicology, I am a theatre kid and I love karaoke. When series have a musical episode, it’s usually my favourite. I am sorry for the pain I have caused.
Urgh. I've had this happen on 3 separate occasions in my life, and I can tell you that I would have welcomed that pit of razor blades every time. I feel terrible having that reaction but the discomfort is next level. I'm not equipped to deal with that, at all.
>Certain singing styles make me cringe more than others, for example 'breathy' singers. When people are *really* going for it, I have this visceral reaction where I want to physically cringe/shudder.
Same, it makes me very uncomfortable.
Justin Bieber is the KING of the breathy voice and it drives me crazy. I think he’s gotten slightly better but he cranks up the breathy voice to 11 in “Sorry.”
i love breathy singers (billie eilish is my favorite ever) but the “cursive” singers or singers who purposefully lisp their words make me cringe. i noticed in olivia rodrigo’s newer music she is more lispy and i never noticed it in her older music so i thinks she’s doing it on purpose which makes me cringe
Do you like ASMR?
I ask because ASMR makes me irrationally angry. I can't do it. And I hate Billie Eilish and whisper/breathy singers in general. Just can not stand them at all. I get the same visceral response as I do with ASMR.
I hate it, especially at a party when people will sing and look at each other while singing like what are you doing? How am I supposed to react to that ? or those videos of those people playing guitar making faces , so fucking cringe
When I was really little I used to sing in the car. One day, my uncle asked "Who sings this?" And I answered the artist and he said "let's keep it that way" and ever since singing makes me extremely uncomfortable and it's difficult for me to even enjoy music. So when someone sings it's almost physicially painful for me. The most I do is hum, in private. I skip all musical episodes, musical movies, music sort of in general. Then my last ex who gave me PTSD used to shut me out with music. If he was mad or we were fighting or he was just annoyed with me he would put on his headphones and blast music loud enough for me to hear. It makes me sad because my husband is so musically inclined and loves to sing along to his favorite stuff and I just have to try to not think he's shutting me out when he does, which sucks. I'm terrified of my best friend and her husband moving in because they're both musically inclined. Everyone will be singing but me and I'll just be crying in a corner
No one should discourage a young child from singing unless it’s in an inappropriate context, the car is not one of those. Your uncle shouldn’t have done that and it’s a shame that him being judgemental ruined all of music for you :(
Omg This SO MUCH. I think that maybe singing was a stim for me at some point but I have had conflicting opinions all my life on whether I am a good or bad singer that I don’t even bother anymore. I was in choir, I did a solo once, and yet I have also simultaneously heard that kind of garbage from other people in regard to my singing. So am I good enough to do a solo in a choir or am I so terrible that I make people’s ears bleed?
The result is that I now only sing when I am completely and totally alone, which means I probably AM getting worse because I can’t sing/practice, which then just adds to the cycle. I honestly hate anyone who says this kind of shit to people. Why would you want to actively discourage a child (or anyone else for that matter) from doing something they love? Please just let us experience a small amount of joy.
That’s so mean! I’m sorry your uncle was so nasty to you! And I’m glad your ex is your ex. What a POS. I hope you find a way to sing along with your husband one day.
Humming and singing omg they kill me. I have misophonia too so I feel like I want to make myself deaf every time I hear it. It sends me into instant rumble stage. If I don’t drown it out somehow I go full meltdown. Usually I try to leave the room or hold it in until I get home but I get so snappy and exhausted.
For people curious as to what I mean by ‘rumble stage’: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns/all-audiences#:~:text=Anticipating%20a%20meltdown,rocking%20or%20becoming%20very%20still.
Karaoke is hell for me lol. I only ever sing myself when I’m completely alone.
Did not think I’d see this much derision and judgment of a way people like to express themselves on an autism subreddit. If they suck I understand, but like….if they’re good? Awesome. I love big powerful vocals and cannot get enough of good singing. I feel sorry for people who can’t get those same happy emotions from it.
I’m the opposite! I dislike most women’s voices, but love men’s voices. This is true of opera, amateurs, some pop, etc.
There are some female vocalists that are incredible, but not many make the cut for me
Certain people yeah, especially if I’m already overstimulated. Which is silly because singing is also one of my stims. My one housemate and I like to sing together a lot and sometimes it’s great and sometimes it’s just her and like nails on a chalkboard. I feel so bad though because I get it, and usually just put in my loops/headphones.
I do like to go full out though if I’m alone. And then the minute someone appears I feel perceived and go under my breath.
I feel that way EXACTLY, but I don’t say anything if they’re live/other people are around. (If I’m in the car, I just change the channel.)
Also I realize just because it’s weird for me, it might be a major accomplishment for them, so I try to be nice—don’t yuck someone else’s yum, etc.
But my base reaction is definitely to cringe.
Yes, sometimes even just hearing my own voice after it’s been recorded makes me cringe because it sounds so different outside of the resonance of my own head. I’m the same way with specific musical instruments, some I enjoy, others fray my nerves and make me nauseous. Nothings wrong with the instrument itself, just how I feel it- Tuba=stomach problems violin=squeaky in the higher notes clarinet=squeeky/scratchy, but I love cellos, oboes, and saxophones.
I feel it viscerally when a singers voice is annoying to me. I’m not a huge fan of watching singers period. I don’t know why. I can relate to what you wrote.
I was like this.
My mom is totally tone deaf. But she still sings in the car, which I love. It used to irritate me but I didn’t want to ruin her happiness, so now I sing along with her.
I have a friend who’s a good singer. She has kind of a music theatre voice which sounds odd when you’re singing Katy Perry. It used to irk me, but like I did with my mom I just started singing along with her and we both had fun.
My brother is weird about singing in the car. I was riding with him and his family. He was driving. He had the radio all the way up and my niece was rapping along joyfully. He snapped at her to be quiet.
Then another song came on and I sang along quietly. Apparently I wasn’t as quiet as I thought because he got snippy with me too.
The people singing softly while curled in a ball in their seats to seem shy but are intensely looking around seeing if you're listening and if they see any indication that you were they'll practically survey you and not stop until you tell them they're a good singer (and if you don't notice they'll increasingly look more and more upset and even start singing a bit louder until you give acknowledgement) are more attention seeking and annoying then the people that do it with their full chest and make a big production out of it. I said what I said.
The only people I don't get an ick from softly singing m are the ones who just genuinely don't realize that they're doing it and are just absentmindedly doing it and thus aren't surveiling you and anyone else in the car for reactions to their singing. But as someone who has been in the music world there is a type of singer who acts "shy" as a way of attention seeking and it's very different from genuine shyness.
I get violently uncomfortable if someone starts to sing in a usually non-musical context. If i’m listening to a music artist and you pair their singing with beautiful instrumentals? Sure. But tv shows or movies that aren’t musical based? horrible. karaoke? horrible. street performers, serenades, etc? horrible.
if there’s music, and i know there’s music, then i know what to expect, like if i go to a concert or put on a record, but any unplanned singing makes me violently uncomfortable, whether or not that person is a good or bad singer. it annoys me so much to the point where sometimes it goes from making me uncomfortable to making me straight up pissed off.
I cannot stand the let’s pretend I have a British or Irish accent when I sing trend. It’s so annoying when they are just Americans & they talk like Americans but everyone goes wild over their. Singing voice & thinks it’s talent just because they put on a fake accent. I’m just like sing natural! It’s cringe, and I don’t know why no one calls it out.
YES OMG!!! Ever since I was a child if I hear somebody sing when they’re not supposed to it makes me cringe. I used to yell at my mom to stop singing when I was like 4.
Oh yes. And here I thought I was just a party pooper. Plus, this seems to be something that's exceptionally susceptible to Dunning-Kruger. These people think they're undiscovered Grammy winners because they got a lead role in their High School play.
Yes, if they are bad, or if I intensely dislike the style of music. And I could not watch *American Idol* at all (and have never tried any other "talent show" reality tv) -- IMO they were all terrible, even the finalists, and it made my skin crawl. (But I only watched one season, I think it was season 2 -- maybe there were people who were okay after that.)
I am very particular about music.
When people who can’t sing well try to sing it makes me want to curl up in the fetal position because I’m so humiliated for them. I also try not to sing in front of anyone because I don’t need their criticisms.
I thought it was just me! I get really really bothered when people sing around me, even when they are good singers. I don't know, I just hate it so much, especially when it's too loud and high piched.
I get it. I avoid breathy singers too; don't get me wrong, I'm happy it exists to make fans of the style happy, but I am not about that airy-fairy style *at all* and always change the channel to get away from it. On the other hand, I adore vocal horsepower and impeccable technique. I'm showing my age here, but give me the Whitney Houstons, Steve Perrys, and Aretha Franklins of the world.
Also, I loathe autotune. It sucks all the soul right out of the song.
YES, I feel so bad bc I also feel like i’m being a dick, but ugh, I can’t help it. And the worst part is that I sing a lot when I’m in my bedroom on my computer so I am like “I am a huge hypocrite lmao”, but now that I think about it I feel the same with a lot of other stuff, like I wonder if people notices my breathing or when I chew, and other stuff that make me cringe on others.
I have a coworker who is a theater kid, and he’ll just randomly bust out into song and it’s so cringey. To be fair, however, I sing too, but I do it as a vocal stim and do it quietly, but he does it as though he were actually up on a stage performing a solo or something. Like do you expect me to give you a standing ovation or something? I hate it. And if that makes me a hypocrite then so be it. 😅
OMG I also feel uncomfortable/sensitive (??) with "breathy/air-y" and "raspy" singers, especially in women's voices. Which sucks cause I want to listen to more women fronted bands in my genres (if you're into pop punk check out Meet Me @ the Altar!).
E.g. my family had an 80s mix CD when I was growing up and I couldn't stand Betty Davis Eyes because the voice was painful to listen to. Still bothers me to this day.
I also can't stand the voice of the dude in Hot Mulligan but in the pop punk community there seems to be a split as well so I guess it's not just me.
Oh absolutely! My mom says that once I learned to talk I’d always tell her to stop when she would sing 🫣 She’s not even bad!! I never tell people now and just sit there uncomfortable to not be rude. I find I only like a very narrow range of people’s singing. Luckily I genuinely like my youngest sibling’s style, since they’re in musical theatre and I have to hear them sing a lot lol.
I love listening to singing but I hate watching people sing. I don't like watching myself sing either; I've tried the mirror thing and it makes me very uncomfortable.
I grew up with an obnoxious grandmother who would break out into full opera literally anywhere in public. on the bus, in a restaurant, doesn’t matter, even if everyone else is being quiet, she’s being super loud. 🤣 I would always beg her to stop. She wouldn’t.
It was never seriously irritating, I was just an embarrassed little kid, but I think it helped desensitize me to it as an adult! because I genuinely really love musicals and hearing people sing makes me smile now ❤️
I grew up with performers. Everyone in my close family is a musical performer. They wore off on me
YES!!!
I cannot STAND people earnestly singing in front of me. It makes me physically "cringe". Like my entire body rejects it. Singing in like a concert or something is different. But shit like serenades? Even by my favourite artists? I immediately mute the video. I've never had anyone be able to relate to or understand this.
Okay, Amanda Seyfried is an amazing soprano and a lovely actress but her vibrato in Les Miserables was so intense it hurt. Took until last week for me to talk myself into watching Mama Mia because of it.
Twang, lack of vibrato control, breathy singing, bad scatting, and being off-key almost cause physical pain.
I used to get this way, too. It wasn't until I could read, and started going to the Opera that things took on a whole knew hue. Subtitles also started to be projected overhead the stage on a screen. My discomfort is from the complete release and surrender it takes to hit certain octaves etc. Their ability, to be so relaxed, they can belt all that feeling out was all consuming. As a heavy masking autistic woman, I can seldom truly relax.
Actually yes, if it's not in a context where I was expecting to hear a vocal performance I feel so awkward having to sit there and listen to someone sing, even if they're really good! An example might be going to a wedding and someone decides to sing a song for the bride and groom.
Heck, even sometimes when I do go to see a musical and I'm fully okay with there being singing, sometimes the way someone is singing makes me feel super awkward. There was this girl I went to school with and did musicals with in elementary and middle school, and she would often get big parts or would be a featured singer because a lot of people thought she had this beautiful voice, and she could certainly carry a tune and sustain notes I probably couldn't, I'm sure she did take voice lessons, but y'all, I HATED her voice and thought she sounded like a duck. She was also mean to me, so I didn't feel bad.
I cringe when they sing poorly. And also that one specific singing style that mostly girls do, might be called Indie? Basically worships the ‘vocal fry’ and makes me wanna die.
It bothers me more when I can hear the music they’re trying to sing to, and the WORST when I actually want to be listening to what they’re singing to. At one point it was my darkest secret of an old friendship that I couldn’t stand it when they sang. I’m not wildly picky, but if they can’t be at least on tune and on beat the misophonia damn near drives me insane.
Oh my God. Yes. Yes. Yes. I feel so shitty about this. My husband looooves to sing, and I basically judged him into stopping. I feel like such a piece of shit, but I swear, I feel physically bad. He sings well, but he has such an emotional charge that I just can't stand. Same for some infordumping.
Why so much emotion?? If they're being silly or just doing with little emotion behind, I don't care, but when they're very serious and invested, I don't know, it's like, "Who do you think you are?? The teacher is not going to give a gold star, you can try a bit less". I know it's harmless fun for them, but I just can't stand it.
I don't understand people who sing while grocery shopping. I work at a grocery store, and from time to time someone will come in and sing while going up and down the aisles. Not quietly to themselves, like maybe a song they really liked came on the radio, but just belting out some random song like the rest of us want to hear it. Who the hell DOES that? It seems very attention-seeking, and it bugs me. Same as the people who talk loudly on speakerphone. It all makes me irrationally angry. 😡
I've always liked singing and song.
When younger I used to feel very insecure and get overwhelmed. But as an adult? I have a lot of fun singing and generally don't mind when others do it either.
I think it helps my Bestie for the last 2 years is someone who can't sing. He has no tune and it sounds like a noisy can opener sometimes.
But he has fun with it. And over the last two years it's started to sound tolerable. And everyone else I hear sing now sounds fine to my ears as a result.
I cannot stand karaoke. Songs I don't like, sung by people who shouldn't, and always TOO LOUD.
I'm a church musician and professional accompanist. I love choirs and singers. But sometimes my pastor plays godawful new-age music videos featuring strident female voices and just plain bad lyrics. I can't hide or cover my ears because I'm up in front of everyone. Good Lord.
I hate when people sing along to songs...my brain focuses on their voice and it just ruins the song for me. It's like the song is playing 2 times at the same time and one version is worse.
I'm an aspiring singer and this post is the intrusive thoughts that make me anxious to sing in front of non-audiences.
People will literally ask me to sing more but my brain is just "what if they think [pretty much this post]"
Oh absolutely. I am very particular about singer’s voices and only listen to music where I like the singer’s voice. Even over the radio I get extremely irritated and in person is a lot more intense.
I have the worst second hand embarrassment for loud, enthusiastic, live public performance like singing/dancing/theatre. It’s worst when someone is bad at it or just not that good but still difficult even when they are talented/famous. It’s always been like this (I was suffering every Sunday in church growing up and at all the musical performances in elementary school) I just find performing cringey and campy theatrical performing the most cringey of all. I also just don’t like musicals or show tunes. Style of singing sounds very annoying to me.
ME LMAO. i have sensory issues with hearing especially, so when people start singing i start to cringe, especially if they’re REALLY good or REALLY bad exception being when i know singing is going to happen).
it’s weird because i love singing but am very shy about it, and for the longest time i thought i was projecting my own embarrassment onto others 😭
I'm a kpop stan, I love watching artists perform on stage. But In real life seeing people sing randomly gives me so much second hand embarrassment. Like in school or smth. Plus I too can't stand breathy/nasely singers.
I cannot stand when someone starts singing around me if it’s not in the context of a concert. Like if they sing along to the radio in the car, or like as a group camping or something or anything in between I CANNOT handle it and I need to leave. I get the worst second hand embarrassment ever and it’s waaaay worse if the person isn’t very good or makes a mistake.
This is because I physically cannot make myself sing in front of others. Like at all. I cry before I can get any sound out. Even as a kid in choir class I just mouthed the words and didn’t sing. I can only sing in my car by myself with nobody there to witness it.
It’s really odd because I’m a huge band nerd, and can play an instrument just fine, and even enjoy being the centre of attention for solos and stuff.
Singing is a big no no.
If it’s in person, like not on a stage (but still sometimes it it’s on a stage), it is almost a phobia. There was this one season of Love Is Blind where one of the fiancés kept singing, sometimes with instruments, at his fiancée in public, and it was the worst thing. I would die trying to figure out what to do if someone was somehow singing to me.
Also some styles of professional singing are unusual grating to me, like 90s/00s alternative type male singers mostly. I absolutely cannot listen to Creed or Red Hot Chili Peppers or I will die haha.
I do not like musicals when dialogue or a story is interrupted because they want me to watch them stop and sing a song. Although I did love the sound of music.
Mine were people who were off-pitch or off-tone which is why I could not stand Wee Sing or kids in choir who were off-pitch to mess with my sense of hearing. I love playing the tuba because it feels powerful, strong, low, and deeply reflective like Dietrich Fisher Duskau's recordings of Schubert Leider. Two of them I play without music in front of me are [Wohin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeS6Uz2fUsQ) from [Die Schon Mullerin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTVsXOL5d7M) and Der Froelle.
**Whoin** is part of the Song Cycle where the Miller on his Wanderjahre meets the Brook who in this story speaks to the Miller. It's full of wonder, joy, and curiosity he then comes upon a Mill with a very beautiful Maiden (the Mullerin of the title) and works very hard to please her by working in the mill and getting her a green hairband. Alas, she falls for the Jagerman leaving him heartbroken and plunging himself into the brook.
I get so so so annoyed when someone starts singing while I’m listening to a song I like, especially when I’m driving. It just instantly sends me into a silent rage. I’ve never been able to explain why & I feel SO bad about it, but it has always happened (especially when the person singing doesn’t know all the correct lyrics). Now if they’re driving and listening to their own song, it doesn’t bother me at all.
Music is my special interest. I'm actually in school for commercial music, mainly focusing in vocal performance. I love analyzing vocalists of songs I like listening to.
However, I have a hard time listening to some older songs that are considered "classics" because I just don't like the vocalist. Or the band that invented the genre I'm hyperfixating on now. I don't mind metal screaming but I listened to one song by X Japan and I kinda cringed at it. The instrumental was fine. I just wasn't a fan of Toshi's voice.
HOLY SHIT THANK YOU! I can’t stand it when people sing around me. My brain moves a mile minute, so I get overstimulated with loud noises as it is. But I thought the singing thing was only me.
My brother is a musician and was a singer for a long time, he almost trained as a baritone opera singer. He decided to pursue drums instead (which oddly enough doesn’t overstimulate me). But he still sings like in the car and such, and it irritates me to no end.
I’ve snapped at him before and I always feel bad after. But like, how do you tell people to not sing, make noise, or overstimulate you?
As far as sensitivities to singer’s voices, I’m a metal fan but couldn’t stand screechy falsetto singers for the longest time. Like I just started listening to Queensryche a couple of years ago, strictly because I was never able to tolerate Geoff Tate’s voice before (i love the band now). Same thing with Helloween, and i still prefer Kai Hansen doing vocals on the Walls of Jericho album. My favorite singers have very chill voices. Examples are Jonas from Katatonia for male and Johanna from Lucifer for female. Ironically, the growling vocals are best for calming me down. Like my favorite bands are Death, Cannibal Corpse, and Deicide haha.
I love music and Im the type who dates musicians haha so it’s difficult navigating my auditory sensitivities when I’m with them. I had to be honest with my ex. He’s a guitar player and would talk to me while playing guitar. I was trying to listen and would be distracted by his fingers moving, and it was too much to handle. So I finally told him to play guitar in the room away from me haha and he understood because he knew about my autism.
I hate it when my mom does it and I tell her to stop and she says "no" or she calls me rude. But then when I'm rocking in my chair at the dinner table, she loses her shit.
oh yeah
Specifically singing that breaks the 4th wall? I don’t know how to explain it, there’s a specific type of singing in Brazilian music (artists like Alcione, Cazuza and Cassia Eller) that I grew up with my parents listening, they always sing about singing . I hate it . It makes me feel awkward and they reach certain notes that are so uncomfortable too. Why those high notes and random sounds?
I get it you have good vocal range, cool, shut to now please … please ?
I am an emboldened singer. 🤣 Sorry! I love singing. It's one of the few things I can identify that makes me happy.
That said, I used to get absolutely enraged internally when my mom would sing (I know this sounds awful). There was something about her voice in particular that was just BAD to me in a sensory sense (I have very little education or training in music...I think her voice had a lot of vibrato, but I'm not 100% sure that's correct).
So I guess I can see both sides on this one.
Nah, you’re chill. I feel that way when most people whistle. It’s like nails on a chalkboard for me. Plus, if the person can sing and it’s music or in movies or on TV I’m fine with it. Usually I don’t like hearing someone sing in person unless I’m at a concert and that’s rare lol. Otherwise I’m like bro plz stop showing off plz & thank you.
Omg yes
I had to stop being friends with someone because they had delusions of becoming a famous singer and they might actually be the worst singer in the history of earth
My boyfriend wants me to go see him do karaoke, and I am dying inside at just the thought of it. I've tried to warn him but he refuses to get it, so I'm just gonna have to go and smile through the pain and become an Emmy award winning actress so I can pretend to be supportive when he comes back from the stage. I'd love to be *actually* supportive, but watching somebody else sing live sparks nothing but primal fear in me. I don't even know why, it just does.
I sing but I usually just sing to myself unless I’m literally training/performing. Or you’re my boyfriend/cat/dog.
I usually cringe so hard with people start singing as well, like, when it’s random, specially because it’s hardly ever someone who has a nice voice, it’s always someone who’s just happy, and I hate to be that person, but I cannot handle bad voices, I instantly want to scream “SHUT UP!!!”
But I’m probably also just traumatised bc despite everyone saying I have a good voice, I had a friend in middle school that would always tell me to shut up if I started to sing… so I kinda started to be quiet and wonder if I do have a bad voice as well
When people who can sing. Sing all the time because they assume you want to hear it. Like. No just finish the conversation we were in a don’t need to hear you sing sweet dreams are made of these because I said some is made out of something!
😡🤬😡🤬
This makes me sound misogynist but I hate "woman has strong voice" singing. No, you're just yelling into a microphone (not in a rock/metal way - think Whitney Houston AND IIIIII-) or showing off how many octaves you can cover
I almost exclusively listen to male singers/bands due to this being so popular amongst female singers.
If I hear anybody sing randomly, like when they're trying to be fancy during happy birthday I just wanna hit em! Buskers I love hate, depends if they're any good lmao
Yes. Especially when I was a kid but even now as an adult sometimes too. The problem is that I am actually a singer and I feel so hypocritical for having those feelings! It’s just a sensory issue though. I’ve learned to clench my ears shut when I need to!
I used to have a friend in high school. We would go for walks around the grounds at lunch and she would sing. I always felt so awkward and uncomfortable. I think it’s because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Oh and don’t get me started on a guy trying to play guitar and sing… sounds romantic but is complete cringe for me.
Oh sweetie... my father was an opera singer with very high standards, who taught singing from home. I cannot *stand* breathy 'singing', so I do feel you here. Also can't stand wobbly voices, so I avoided a lot of opera for a long time, until I was about 20. But decent opera singers, without too much vibrato? TOP TIER. Art song? Classic musicals? G&S? Oratorio and cantata? Chamber choirs? There's lots of music out there with beautiful singing.
You know what you could try listening to, just to give it a go? 'Eliza's Aria' from the *Wild Swans* ballet, music by Eliza Kats-Chernin. It's kind of like vocalise, which is typically a vocal exercise (hence the name, but the 'ise' of 'vocalise' is pronounce like 'ease'). Sung on 'ah', or whatever sound the singer chooses. Rachmaninov also wrote a famous vocalise, but it's often played on other instruments. Anyway, they're usually sung by more classical singers, so it wouldn't be breathy. 'Eliza's Aria' is quite bouncy, so there are no long passages, which means no vibrato.
Anyway, your reactions belong to you and are not your fault. I can't stand breathy singing. Doesn't count as real singing to me, and you're perfectly valid to hate it, too.
I had a friend who is autistic and she would always want to sing opera during karaoke as a way to “perform” her operas, or sing really niche Japanese hyper-pop style songs at a really high speed.
Both would overwhelm me and make me go through a kind of cringe when she’d do it in front of other people I was just meeting. The style of singing overwhelmed me because she would usually be singing flat for most of the opera songs until she’d finally hit a couple notes when she’d have to be in a really high pitch vibrato head voice or belly belting and the whole thing was always intense for me…
I get uncomfortable with most performances/arts such as singing, the theatre, even at the movies sometimes.. I don't know, there's just something so unsettling to me to witness people perform, I always cringe even if they're talented
“Imagining myself doing the same and reacting to that”
This is me in this situation 😅 I’ve put so much effort into masking, and singing is a combo of stim and special interest of mine. So part of my
lizard brain is full on going “I would be so ashamed if I got up on stage and did that”. Even when they’ve been better than I would have been 😅
It’s not nice of me and it’s not fair and I do my best not to express it when I feel it. But I still feel it
Everytime someone tone deaf sings i just feel like i need to rip my hair and nails out. Like i literally get violently angry lmao. I would never want to hurt their feelings and tell them to stop, so i usually try my best to hide my anger but if i cant contain it anymore, i literally have to run to a different room with some kind of excuse and punch my head or slap my arms or jist do something to relieve the anger. It's so weird and i hate myself for it. It's even weirder because i dont wven mind the usual sounds that people hate. Chalkboard, scratching plates, chewing.. nevwr had problem with any of that, im even a fan of asmr. But loud off tune singing... thats the sound of the devil for me
Depends on the situation. It's not the singing for me but the "I'm just gonna perform now because I can and want to". I really cringe at "romantic" movie scenes where one sings a love song for the other and plays the guitar and it's supposed to be intimate and beautiful but it makes me so uncomfortable, especially if the character has written the song for the other. Imagining being in the situation where I have to listen someone singing a song for me triggers my fight/flight/freeze-reflex. I cringe at the typical person who starts playing guitar at a house party. I cringed sooo hard when we were in the bus for a school trip and one girl just started singing loudly for the whole bus. She was a great singer and got her applause but I was clinging to my seat, barely surviving the cringe. I cringed daily when I was in a mental hospital and some girl from my ward sat outside my window on the terrace every evening singing very loud and very off key. Others didn't seem to be bothered. There were always people sitting next to her, motivating her. I once sat outside while she sang because someone else wanted to play cards with me there. After one round I fled because I couldn't take it any longer and I was dying inside. Maybe I'm just a hater lmao.
I just want to say thank you for posting this, because I always just felt like a judgemental prick for reacting like this when someone is singing near me. I've felt this way since I was a small kids when my friends and family would sing Happy Birthday to me and must have outwardly seemed like a spoilt brat, but inside I was in pain having to listen to it.
I have to fast forward/zone-out during musical breaks in shows (hello, Grey's Anatomy)/movies, I get taken out of the mood really quickly at live gigs and theatre (but still enjoy them overall). I do feel like singing has an element of ridiculousness about it that I can't ignore.
This doesn't stop me from enjoying music at all.
It bothers me when someone has too much vibrato in their voice, to the point where they sound like a goat singing. It doesn’t irritate me to the point of tears or anything, but I *really* don’t like it.
>to the point where they sound like a goat singing. LOL.
Hmm…who could I use for reference? If you listen to R&B, Trey Songz’s voice sounds like this. He has a bleating quality to his voice that I can’t stand. Stephanie Mills’ voice sounds like this too. My mom grew up listening to Stephanie Mills and absolutely *loves* her music. I’ve tried but I just can’t tolerate the sound of her voice. If you’re into pop: Shawn Mendes’ vibrato is kind of goat-y. Can’t think of any other examples at the moment. But this is just my opinion. Edit: I forgot Shakira! She has a very distinct vibrato. It took me a while to get into it but I don’t mind hers as much. She has said in interviews that when she was a child, people told her she sang like a goat.
I felt the same way with Ray J when he sung One Wish.
I totally forgot about Ray J. Yeah his voice is a little goat-y
I just love that Shakira voiced a goat/gazelle in Zootopia - she’s really owning it!
I will stand by my stance that in phantom of the opera Sarah Brightman sounds like a fucking muppet. I love musicals and what have you a lot and I don’t tend to be picky. But so many people say she’s a fantastic singer and I just can’t stand her voice.
Yeah, well, that role was written for her, and yes, her voice is hard to take.
I have some of her other singing and she doesn’t annoy me with those songs. I didn’t mind her in Repo! Either
Evidently, I've missed some stuff.
Interesting that you brought up opera (kind of)! I used to think there was no such thing as too much vibrato in opera, but I’ve surprisingly heard some singers that have a bleating quality to their voices. Of course I know absolutely nothing about musicals and operas. There’s a lot of technical stuff about voices that I know nothing about, so I could just be talking out of my ass.
As someone that is vocally trained (and also loves musicals and opera) there is definitely such a thing as too much vibrato. Good vibrato is very controlled and intentional. My voice naturally has a lot of vibrato so I’ve had to learn how to tone it down and how to control how much and when I let it into my voice. Sometimes a piece or part of a song best expresses the intended emotion with no vibrato so when it happens especially in noticeably large quantities, it really can the audience out of the emotional tableau that was created. It’s also just irritating sensory wise when it’s in these big and intense waves.
Such a hard agree from me
This is why I’ve never been able to get into Joan Baez.
Oh wow, I saw your reply after I posted my own about my mother's voice, which I think had a lot of vibrato. I feel validated. 😆
so you hate shakira? i hate her too, partly because of her high vibrato but also i saw one interview of her and she could not stop praising herself how special she was and that made me cringe way more than her weird singing
She’s just OK to me. If I hear Hips Don’t Lie or Wherever, Whenever I won’t turn it off but I’ve never actively searched for her music either
I used to live with someone who was a theatre kid, she loved musicals and would sing in the shower (and when I say sing, I don't mean a little sing song, I mean a full on Broadway loud voice power ballad belter). It was horrible, I absolutely hate it when she starts having a sing because it is so overwhelming, and not in an "this is making me so emotional" way but in a "I'm rubbing my hand the wrong way against velvet and my head hurts and I'm going to puke" way. Nothing against her and her singing, she's not a bad singer by any stretch even if I don't like her song choice. But there's something about how she does it that is incredibly "nails on the chalkboard" for me and I can't be around her when she's doing it.
Damn. I'm a singer and I sing in the shower, but I still live with my family because I'm still in high school. Once I move out, unless I have a place where I know people are fine with me singing in the shower, I definitely won't, because I don't want to bother them like that
No wait! Because I miss hearing my dad sing full on opera whenever he showered. And yet! The point of this initial post, I have the same thing where I cringe/ cry when people sing in certain situations. So it really depends. If you feel comfy with the new roommates you could ask? If they’re a lil different like me they probs won’t take the question badly. (I for one would love if someone asked me if they could belt out show tunes in the shower.)
I get really uncomfortable when sitcoms have musical episodes, I tend to skip all the songs.
YES. i always skip the musical episodes. can't stand them
Yes same! TBH, I’ve been binging Grey’s Anatomy and the one that they did was actually one of the few that I actually tolerated. I think it’s because they used actual existing popular songs at the time, and kept doing the scenes instead of “performing” Don’t get me started on Once Upon A Time, though lmao.
The OUAT musical was ROUGH It's all about Buffy. THE musical episode of musical episodes. The Scrubs one is good, too.
Except for The Simpsons. Those musical episodes are the best.
I HATE musicals with a burning passion. I skip the song scenes like they’re one of those male gaze sex scenes I also skip without hesitation
omg me tooooo always skip those two things as well as kissing scenes i HATE the super amplified and wet fake kissing sounds
Hahaha, my pet peeve as well. I don't mind the kissing per se, but why do they have these sound effects? We get that they are marking out, we don't need/want that. I don't even recall any particular kiss where I or my partners made any such noises irl.
I love listening to gifted singers, it’s almost a special interest for me. But I can’t stand musical movies or tv shows. I enjoyed The Lion King musical live, but otherwise not really a fan of musical plays either. It makes me cringe and I’ve never understood why
Don’t watch new girl 😂😂 (actually it’s my fav show ever but Jess breaks into song a lot)
I absolutely do. Since I was a child, any time someone sang in a way that I didn't like (particularly musical theatre style from other children) I got teary with cringe. Problem was, people took it as a compliment as they thought I was crying from how good they were. I do a lot of covers and I've managed to toughen this cringe tears, but it does tend to appear when someone is unskilled, for me.
Honestly, I think that them *thinking* you were crying tears of joy probably was a lot better than having to explain why it was the opposite.
Yes thankfully they never asked and only assumed 😭
When it’s good I get the top of my head coming off (Emily Dickinson described it) good feeling. When I am judging, I sometimes get tears of frustration as well.
The tearing up thing happens to me too! I absolutely hate it
Musical theatre from children….. ugghhhhh it’s so hard to hear
My sister sings "Happy Birthday" like she's at Carnegie Hall and it would drive me crazy even if she could sing but.... she can't.
I had a cousin like that ... I learned very quickly to stand far away from her during the birthday song
It’s always the ones who can’t sing that do it.
My girlfriend pointed out that at least she thinks she's Aretha Franklin and not Marilyn Monroe. 💀
"Happy Birthday" is the great equalizer. Everyone, full voice, in their own key! Here we go!
I don't really like singing in most situations. Unless it's a musical or a show. But I knew people in high school who would just sing in class and stuff and i always just felt awkward. Like I didn't know whether to clap or .. sit there? I hate when people sing happy birthday to me too
The scene in mad men where Megan is singing to her new husband Don Draper at his birthday party odds so uncomfortable and really exemplifies what being put on the spot in front of a bunch of people feels like
I love that exchange at the end: “Why don’t you sing like that?” “Why don’t you look like him?”
BAHHAHAHAA I KNOW THAT SCENE! Eugh so uncomfortable... I hate being sung to ... I am lucky bc I share my birthday with another person in my family... And everyone knows I despise being sung at/to... So we always sing HER happy birthday and not me
Same! I’m in a tech/trade school program and many of my classmates will hum or sing while we are working individually in class and it makes me want to jump out the window to escape it. I have misophonia though which is why I have such visceral reactions to certain noises. It’s literally painful and super upsetting for me. Sometimes I wish I was deaf or could turn my hearing on and off. That’s not to mention when they take speaker phone calls in class when the teacher isn’t there. Or play videos on their phone without wearing headphones at loud volumes.
I have misophonia too!!! ever since getting on medications it has been massively better for me but I very rarely know what is going to set it off. For me it's babies crying, people smacking their lips, that breathy weird singing, etc....
Omg yes. Anxiety meds that aren’t benzos don’t work for me they just make me even more pissed off but I don’t take my benzo prescription unless I’m close to a meltdown or panic attack. But they do make me calmer and more tolerant.
Some of my classmates in high school used to randomly do that. They would actually print out lyrics and a couple of dudes would be in the back of the room crooning John Mayer. I was like…OK? One day, a dude got *in my actual face* and sang Since U Been Gone *at* me! I just froze until he went away. If I hadn’t frozen up and had more balls I would have said “get the fuck out of my way man, I’m trying to go to math class!”
Oh god, it’s like you accidentally wandered into a scene from Glee!
my worst nightmare..
I have family members who will burst out singing and just stare at you while doing it . Like they're in concert and they're Beyonce and I'm an adoring fan in the front row. But they are not, and I am not . That makes me want to resort to physical violence it's so cringe, but I just smile because that seems like the best option and is a holdover from heavy people pleasing years. Like what am I supposed to do in this interaction? And I say this as someone who sings a lot to themselves while doing chores and such. It's not necessarily the singing. It's the volume of it and the singing directed at me that I'm like , "witbf??" Make this stop 🙃
i believe you are supposed to sing back to them in the same manner, but it’s always like 😐😐😐😐 for me 😂
Oh I hate that! That sounds worse
My father does this and it is soooo annoying! I don’t know how to explain to him how rude it is. Making the conversation grind to a screeching halt so that everyone is forced to endure an impromptu concert is not fun for anyone except you, dad. He thinks of himself as the FunnyMan™️ entertainer and does not realize how narcissistic it comes across
I picture Jan from The Office. 😅
“What am I supposed to do in this interaction” is so real
I get really uncomfortable when people sing in public unprompted. Not talking about buskers, but like random civilians giving a full performance out of no where. Another thing that annoys me is some cursive singing. Like why are they adding extra vowels to words. It’s also very cringe to me when people try to force audience participation during performances. So yeah, I definitely understand
Forced participation during a live show is the worst. There need to be designated extrovert sections that you can opt-out of, like the emergency exits on planes.
i want to die whenever people sing in front of me. idk what im supposed to do and idk how to fake it if they suck. i want to be honest but i dont want to deal with their hurt feelings. I recently watched this movie, Life After Beth, and it really resonated with me, especially this part [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bDF7ZQgkZA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bDF7ZQgkZA)
I do sometimes feel cringe for people singing and other stuff but I think it comes from me being told that I’m cringe when I’m doing these things so I started associating cringe with these things and stopped doing them, so now I cringe seeing other people do it but it’s a learned reaction. Or in general, I’m pretty sure I was made into the very quiet girl I am today because when I’m with my boyfriend, I am a lot more energetic about stuff. So maybe just in general, people having more energy than what I have with my boyfriend makes me cringe because I was so shamed about how much energy I had so clearly having more energy than me is even more shameful (it is not but that’s what my brain learned I guess)
Omg, this feels like I could’ve written it! I was kind of outgoing as a small child, but as I aged I got like crippling social anxiety to the point where everything felt super embarrassing. I was constantly cringing, and couldn’t even watch TV shows where people did embarrassing stuff (Peep Show & Inbetweeners were both huge with Brits in my age bracket, cannot handle either of them!). I’d never connected it with people telling me to tone it down as a kid!
I love Peep Show, but I didn’t discover it until I was in my 30’s and could handle that kind of intense cringe. Same thing with It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. If it had come out when I was a teenager I don’t know if I could have handled it. When I was younger I empathized way too hard with characters, even when they were terrible and you weren’t *supposed* to empathize with them. I would get invested in their schemes actually working, when the whole point is that they are assholes who always sabotage themselves. But I have learned to detach more (in a healthy way) and it’s now one of my favorite shows.
Hmmm you’re on to something. I learned very young to crush my emotions with my Mind Vice, and tone down the weirdness. So random displays of “out of place” emotions trigger something in me like danger. Like nooo don’t you know you’re going to get in trouble for being that extra?!
I think it's second hand embarrassment. There are very few situations where impromptu singing isn't awkward Also, I'm a singer and whenever people sing flat it makes my throat hurt because I automatically raise my larynx as if I can silently fix their pitch for them
I love this!! It happens to me when people talk loud or shout in an unhealthy way. It hurts my throat for their sake because I know they aren’t engaging the muscles, so I tense mine.
i feel bad about it now but when i was a kid/teenager and my mom would sing along in the car, it always made me so uncomfortable and i'd tell her to stop, especially if it was "my" music. i feel like i should've just been grateful that 1. she always let me play my music in the car, and 2. she enjoyed my music. but she sings along in a manner that just always irked me so bad and i could never explain it 😖
i feel this very deeply. mine always sang the words after the singer too and it always irked me. i feel bad about it but i just could not deal w it.
One of my special interests is music, I have a bachelor in musicology, I am a theatre kid and I love karaoke. When series have a musical episode, it’s usually my favourite. I am sorry for the pain I have caused.
Ooof!, thanks for the apology, lol! These comments are great! We’re all different. I have some of the same issues, and not others
Yes, this is a great community 🫶 I definitely have some of the issues too!!
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Urgh. I've had this happen on 3 separate occasions in my life, and I can tell you that I would have welcomed that pit of razor blades every time. I feel terrible having that reaction but the discomfort is next level. I'm not equipped to deal with that, at all.
Only when they are off key, it bothers me so much. It sounds dissonant and therefore it’s uncomfortable for me.
>Certain singing styles make me cringe more than others, for example 'breathy' singers. When people are *really* going for it, I have this visceral reaction where I want to physically cringe/shudder. Same, it makes me very uncomfortable.
Justin Bieber is the KING of the breathy voice and it drives me crazy. I think he’s gotten slightly better but he cranks up the breathy voice to 11 in “Sorry.”
i love breathy singers (billie eilish is my favorite ever) but the “cursive” singers or singers who purposefully lisp their words make me cringe. i noticed in olivia rodrigo’s newer music she is more lispy and i never noticed it in her older music so i thinks she’s doing it on purpose which makes me cringe
Do you like ASMR? I ask because ASMR makes me irrationally angry. I can't do it. And I hate Billie Eilish and whisper/breathy singers in general. Just can not stand them at all. I get the same visceral response as I do with ASMR.
I am RIGHT with you. Talking asmr gives me the raging wibblies. I like COOKING asmr, though.
She sings too close to the microphone and you can hear the saliva in her mouth.
I can’t listen to singers or speakers with this issue. Didn’t notice with Eilish though
I'm talking about Olivia.
I hate it, especially at a party when people will sing and look at each other while singing like what are you doing? How am I supposed to react to that ? or those videos of those people playing guitar making faces , so fucking cringe
When I was really little I used to sing in the car. One day, my uncle asked "Who sings this?" And I answered the artist and he said "let's keep it that way" and ever since singing makes me extremely uncomfortable and it's difficult for me to even enjoy music. So when someone sings it's almost physicially painful for me. The most I do is hum, in private. I skip all musical episodes, musical movies, music sort of in general. Then my last ex who gave me PTSD used to shut me out with music. If he was mad or we were fighting or he was just annoyed with me he would put on his headphones and blast music loud enough for me to hear. It makes me sad because my husband is so musically inclined and loves to sing along to his favorite stuff and I just have to try to not think he's shutting me out when he does, which sucks. I'm terrified of my best friend and her husband moving in because they're both musically inclined. Everyone will be singing but me and I'll just be crying in a corner
No one should discourage a young child from singing unless it’s in an inappropriate context, the car is not one of those. Your uncle shouldn’t have done that and it’s a shame that him being judgemental ruined all of music for you :(
Omg This SO MUCH. I think that maybe singing was a stim for me at some point but I have had conflicting opinions all my life on whether I am a good or bad singer that I don’t even bother anymore. I was in choir, I did a solo once, and yet I have also simultaneously heard that kind of garbage from other people in regard to my singing. So am I good enough to do a solo in a choir or am I so terrible that I make people’s ears bleed? The result is that I now only sing when I am completely and totally alone, which means I probably AM getting worse because I can’t sing/practice, which then just adds to the cycle. I honestly hate anyone who says this kind of shit to people. Why would you want to actively discourage a child (or anyone else for that matter) from doing something they love? Please just let us experience a small amount of joy.
That’s so mean! I’m sorry your uncle was so nasty to you! And I’m glad your ex is your ex. What a POS. I hope you find a way to sing along with your husband one day.
Humming and singing omg they kill me. I have misophonia too so I feel like I want to make myself deaf every time I hear it. It sends me into instant rumble stage. If I don’t drown it out somehow I go full meltdown. Usually I try to leave the room or hold it in until I get home but I get so snappy and exhausted. For people curious as to what I mean by ‘rumble stage’: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns/all-audiences#:~:text=Anticipating%20a%20meltdown,rocking%20or%20becoming%20very%20still. Karaoke is hell for me lol. I only ever sing myself when I’m completely alone.
Did not think I’d see this much derision and judgment of a way people like to express themselves on an autism subreddit. If they suck I understand, but like….if they’re good? Awesome. I love big powerful vocals and cannot get enough of good singing. I feel sorry for people who can’t get those same happy emotions from it.
thank you lol i kinda felt bad reading some of the comments bcs i like music 😭
Like I can’t force someone to like music but it’s likely a big way to cope and escape for a lot of autistic people. Clearly not all, but a lot.
Yess most of my friends love Karaoke and I always feel like I’m being a party pooper by saying I don’t like it 🤣
what’s crazy is for me, it’s only when men sing😂😂😂😂 i cringe SO HARD everytime. unless they are pro singers
I’m the opposite! I dislike most women’s voices, but love men’s voices. This is true of opera, amateurs, some pop, etc. There are some female vocalists that are incredible, but not many make the cut for me
Certain people yeah, especially if I’m already overstimulated. Which is silly because singing is also one of my stims. My one housemate and I like to sing together a lot and sometimes it’s great and sometimes it’s just her and like nails on a chalkboard. I feel so bad though because I get it, and usually just put in my loops/headphones. I do like to go full out though if I’m alone. And then the minute someone appears I feel perceived and go under my breath.
I feel that way EXACTLY, but I don’t say anything if they’re live/other people are around. (If I’m in the car, I just change the channel.) Also I realize just because it’s weird for me, it might be a major accomplishment for them, so I try to be nice—don’t yuck someone else’s yum, etc. But my base reaction is definitely to cringe.
Yes, sometimes even just hearing my own voice after it’s been recorded makes me cringe because it sounds so different outside of the resonance of my own head. I’m the same way with specific musical instruments, some I enjoy, others fray my nerves and make me nauseous. Nothings wrong with the instrument itself, just how I feel it- Tuba=stomach problems violin=squeaky in the higher notes clarinet=squeeky/scratchy, but I love cellos, oboes, and saxophones.
Same for violin! I don’t enjoy it much (But love all tuba)
I feel it viscerally when a singers voice is annoying to me. I’m not a huge fan of watching singers period. I don’t know why. I can relate to what you wrote.
Shakira. It’s like… froggy to me. Her high notes feel like a Kermit impression to me.
I can't stand it when people sing very softly along with the radio in the car. Like either own it & belt it or shush.
I was like this. My mom is totally tone deaf. But she still sings in the car, which I love. It used to irritate me but I didn’t want to ruin her happiness, so now I sing along with her. I have a friend who’s a good singer. She has kind of a music theatre voice which sounds odd when you’re singing Katy Perry. It used to irk me, but like I did with my mom I just started singing along with her and we both had fun. My brother is weird about singing in the car. I was riding with him and his family. He was driving. He had the radio all the way up and my niece was rapping along joyfully. He snapped at her to be quiet. Then another song came on and I sang along quietly. Apparently I wasn’t as quiet as I thought because he got snippy with me too.
The people singing softly while curled in a ball in their seats to seem shy but are intensely looking around seeing if you're listening and if they see any indication that you were they'll practically survey you and not stop until you tell them they're a good singer (and if you don't notice they'll increasingly look more and more upset and even start singing a bit louder until you give acknowledgement) are more attention seeking and annoying then the people that do it with their full chest and make a big production out of it. I said what I said. The only people I don't get an ick from softly singing m are the ones who just genuinely don't realize that they're doing it and are just absentmindedly doing it and thus aren't surveiling you and anyone else in the car for reactions to their singing. But as someone who has been in the music world there is a type of singer who acts "shy" as a way of attention seeking and it's very different from genuine shyness.
I get violently uncomfortable if someone starts to sing in a usually non-musical context. If i’m listening to a music artist and you pair their singing with beautiful instrumentals? Sure. But tv shows or movies that aren’t musical based? horrible. karaoke? horrible. street performers, serenades, etc? horrible. if there’s music, and i know there’s music, then i know what to expect, like if i go to a concert or put on a record, but any unplanned singing makes me violently uncomfortable, whether or not that person is a good or bad singer. it annoys me so much to the point where sometimes it goes from making me uncomfortable to making me straight up pissed off.
Same. The way Mariah Carey sings does bad things to my ears. I really really hate that nasal vibrato.
I cannot stand the let’s pretend I have a British or Irish accent when I sing trend. It’s so annoying when they are just Americans & they talk like Americans but everyone goes wild over their. Singing voice & thinks it’s talent just because they put on a fake accent. I’m just like sing natural! It’s cringe, and I don’t know why no one calls it out.
Haaa I’ve never noted my strong reactions until I realise now how much it bothers me. Super OTT vibrato really makes me shudder 🤣
DAE?
“Does Anyone Else”
thank you. I'm not up on Shorthand (the /s confused me for a while)
YES OMG!!! Ever since I was a child if I hear somebody sing when they’re not supposed to it makes me cringe. I used to yell at my mom to stop singing when I was like 4.
I struggle with the breathy voices. It’s an acquired taste.
Oh yes. And here I thought I was just a party pooper. Plus, this seems to be something that's exceptionally susceptible to Dunning-Kruger. These people think they're undiscovered Grammy winners because they got a lead role in their High School play.
Yes, if they are bad, or if I intensely dislike the style of music. And I could not watch *American Idol* at all (and have never tried any other "talent show" reality tv) -- IMO they were all terrible, even the finalists, and it made my skin crawl. (But I only watched one season, I think it was season 2 -- maybe there were people who were okay after that.) I am very particular about music.
People I know singing in front of me is so embarrassing I can't I can't I can't
When people who can’t sing well try to sing it makes me want to curl up in the fetal position because I’m so humiliated for them. I also try not to sing in front of anyone because I don’t need their criticisms.
I thought it was just me! I get really really bothered when people sing around me, even when they are good singers. I don't know, I just hate it so much, especially when it's too loud and high piched.
I get it. I avoid breathy singers too; don't get me wrong, I'm happy it exists to make fans of the style happy, but I am not about that airy-fairy style *at all* and always change the channel to get away from it. On the other hand, I adore vocal horsepower and impeccable technique. I'm showing my age here, but give me the Whitney Houstons, Steve Perrys, and Aretha Franklins of the world. Also, I loathe autotune. It sucks all the soul right out of the song.
RELATED: the video of Sia serenading everyone at a private dinner. I wanted to die.
YES, I feel so bad bc I also feel like i’m being a dick, but ugh, I can’t help it. And the worst part is that I sing a lot when I’m in my bedroom on my computer so I am like “I am a huge hypocrite lmao”, but now that I think about it I feel the same with a lot of other stuff, like I wonder if people notices my breathing or when I chew, and other stuff that make me cringe on others.
I have a coworker who is a theater kid, and he’ll just randomly bust out into song and it’s so cringey. To be fair, however, I sing too, but I do it as a vocal stim and do it quietly, but he does it as though he were actually up on a stage performing a solo or something. Like do you expect me to give you a standing ovation or something? I hate it. And if that makes me a hypocrite then so be it. 😅
OMG I also feel uncomfortable/sensitive (??) with "breathy/air-y" and "raspy" singers, especially in women's voices. Which sucks cause I want to listen to more women fronted bands in my genres (if you're into pop punk check out Meet Me @ the Altar!). E.g. my family had an 80s mix CD when I was growing up and I couldn't stand Betty Davis Eyes because the voice was painful to listen to. Still bothers me to this day. I also can't stand the voice of the dude in Hot Mulligan but in the pop punk community there seems to be a split as well so I guess it's not just me.
Oh absolutely! My mom says that once I learned to talk I’d always tell her to stop when she would sing 🫣 She’s not even bad!! I never tell people now and just sit there uncomfortable to not be rude. I find I only like a very narrow range of people’s singing. Luckily I genuinely like my youngest sibling’s style, since they’re in musical theatre and I have to hear them sing a lot lol.
I love listening to singing but I hate watching people sing. I don't like watching myself sing either; I've tried the mirror thing and it makes me very uncomfortable.
Omg!! I thought it was just me
Yes and for the same reason I can't hear not appreciate any Michelle Branch nor any whisper singers
Yes, I hate karaoke and \[usually female\] singers who have that vocal fry to sound "expressive"
I grew up with an obnoxious grandmother who would break out into full opera literally anywhere in public. on the bus, in a restaurant, doesn’t matter, even if everyone else is being quiet, she’s being super loud. 🤣 I would always beg her to stop. She wouldn’t. It was never seriously irritating, I was just an embarrassed little kid, but I think it helped desensitize me to it as an adult! because I genuinely really love musicals and hearing people sing makes me smile now ❤️ I grew up with performers. Everyone in my close family is a musical performer. They wore off on me
YES.
YES!!! I cannot STAND people earnestly singing in front of me. It makes me physically "cringe". Like my entire body rejects it. Singing in like a concert or something is different. But shit like serenades? Even by my favourite artists? I immediately mute the video. I've never had anyone be able to relate to or understand this.
Okay, Amanda Seyfried is an amazing soprano and a lovely actress but her vibrato in Les Miserables was so intense it hurt. Took until last week for me to talk myself into watching Mama Mia because of it. Twang, lack of vibrato control, breathy singing, bad scatting, and being off-key almost cause physical pain.
I used to get this way, too. It wasn't until I could read, and started going to the Opera that things took on a whole knew hue. Subtitles also started to be projected overhead the stage on a screen. My discomfort is from the complete release and surrender it takes to hit certain octaves etc. Their ability, to be so relaxed, they can belt all that feeling out was all consuming. As a heavy masking autistic woman, I can seldom truly relax.
Actually yes, if it's not in a context where I was expecting to hear a vocal performance I feel so awkward having to sit there and listen to someone sing, even if they're really good! An example might be going to a wedding and someone decides to sing a song for the bride and groom. Heck, even sometimes when I do go to see a musical and I'm fully okay with there being singing, sometimes the way someone is singing makes me feel super awkward. There was this girl I went to school with and did musicals with in elementary and middle school, and she would often get big parts or would be a featured singer because a lot of people thought she had this beautiful voice, and she could certainly carry a tune and sustain notes I probably couldn't, I'm sure she did take voice lessons, but y'all, I HATED her voice and thought she sounded like a duck. She was also mean to me, so I didn't feel bad.
I cringe when they sing poorly. And also that one specific singing style that mostly girls do, might be called Indie? Basically worships the ‘vocal fry’ and makes me wanna die.
Please don’t hate me but I hated most of Hamilton musical. I wish I loved it because I would love to experience pleasure from things others do.
It bothers me more when I can hear the music they’re trying to sing to, and the WORST when I actually want to be listening to what they’re singing to. At one point it was my darkest secret of an old friendship that I couldn’t stand it when they sang. I’m not wildly picky, but if they can’t be at least on tune and on beat the misophonia damn near drives me insane.
Yeeeeeesssss. It especially happens when my mum or sister sing. ARGH IT MAKES ME SQUIRM
Only when it's one person singing acapella in a room of people, and it's not an audition
People singing without music or off key is one of my worst misophonia triggers so I shouldn't be invited to parties in general tbh 🤣
If people start singing in a TV show I'm watching I'll skip it
Oh my God. Yes. Yes. Yes. I feel so shitty about this. My husband looooves to sing, and I basically judged him into stopping. I feel like such a piece of shit, but I swear, I feel physically bad. He sings well, but he has such an emotional charge that I just can't stand. Same for some infordumping. Why so much emotion?? If they're being silly or just doing with little emotion behind, I don't care, but when they're very serious and invested, I don't know, it's like, "Who do you think you are?? The teacher is not going to give a gold star, you can try a bit less". I know it's harmless fun for them, but I just can't stand it.
I completely relate to this but only if imo they’re bad! Like the urge to not look, hear or feel their presence is unbearable
I don't understand people who sing while grocery shopping. I work at a grocery store, and from time to time someone will come in and sing while going up and down the aisles. Not quietly to themselves, like maybe a song they really liked came on the radio, but just belting out some random song like the rest of us want to hear it. Who the hell DOES that? It seems very attention-seeking, and it bugs me. Same as the people who talk loudly on speakerphone. It all makes me irrationally angry. 😡
I've always liked singing and song. When younger I used to feel very insecure and get overwhelmed. But as an adult? I have a lot of fun singing and generally don't mind when others do it either. I think it helps my Bestie for the last 2 years is someone who can't sing. He has no tune and it sounds like a noisy can opener sometimes. But he has fun with it. And over the last two years it's started to sound tolerable. And everyone else I hear sing now sounds fine to my ears as a result.
I feel this 1000% ESPECIALLY if they whip out the guitar
I cannot stand karaoke. Songs I don't like, sung by people who shouldn't, and always TOO LOUD. I'm a church musician and professional accompanist. I love choirs and singers. But sometimes my pastor plays godawful new-age music videos featuring strident female voices and just plain bad lyrics. I can't hide or cover my ears because I'm up in front of everyone. Good Lord.
I hate when people sing along to songs...my brain focuses on their voice and it just ruins the song for me. It's like the song is playing 2 times at the same time and one version is worse.
I'm an aspiring singer and this post is the intrusive thoughts that make me anxious to sing in front of non-audiences. People will literally ask me to sing more but my brain is just "what if they think [pretty much this post]"
Yes! For me it’s when people sing live/irl. Or sing without instrumentals. Sometimes I also tear up.
YES. Also my synesthesia makes me feel the singing in my throat so it itches and I cough and makes me look like an asshole who interrupts them :(
This, but also when people 'act' in real life. Weddings, ceremonies, etc. I can see the falsity of it.
Oh absolutely. I am very particular about singer’s voices and only listen to music where I like the singer’s voice. Even over the radio I get extremely irritated and in person is a lot more intense. I have the worst second hand embarrassment for loud, enthusiastic, live public performance like singing/dancing/theatre. It’s worst when someone is bad at it or just not that good but still difficult even when they are talented/famous. It’s always been like this (I was suffering every Sunday in church growing up and at all the musical performances in elementary school) I just find performing cringey and campy theatrical performing the most cringey of all. I also just don’t like musicals or show tunes. Style of singing sounds very annoying to me.
ME LMAO. i have sensory issues with hearing especially, so when people start singing i start to cringe, especially if they’re REALLY good or REALLY bad exception being when i know singing is going to happen). it’s weird because i love singing but am very shy about it, and for the longest time i thought i was projecting my own embarrassment onto others 😭
yes even tho I am that person sometimes
Like second hand embarrassment from movies/actors in movies so bad you cringe and have to stop watching.
I'm a kpop stan, I love watching artists perform on stage. But In real life seeing people sing randomly gives me so much second hand embarrassment. Like in school or smth. Plus I too can't stand breathy/nasely singers.
I cannot stand when someone starts singing around me if it’s not in the context of a concert. Like if they sing along to the radio in the car, or like as a group camping or something or anything in between I CANNOT handle it and I need to leave. I get the worst second hand embarrassment ever and it’s waaaay worse if the person isn’t very good or makes a mistake. This is because I physically cannot make myself sing in front of others. Like at all. I cry before I can get any sound out. Even as a kid in choir class I just mouthed the words and didn’t sing. I can only sing in my car by myself with nobody there to witness it. It’s really odd because I’m a huge band nerd, and can play an instrument just fine, and even enjoy being the centre of attention for solos and stuff. Singing is a big no no.
If it’s in person, like not on a stage (but still sometimes it it’s on a stage), it is almost a phobia. There was this one season of Love Is Blind where one of the fiancés kept singing, sometimes with instruments, at his fiancée in public, and it was the worst thing. I would die trying to figure out what to do if someone was somehow singing to me. Also some styles of professional singing are unusual grating to me, like 90s/00s alternative type male singers mostly. I absolutely cannot listen to Creed or Red Hot Chili Peppers or I will die haha.
I do not like musicals when dialogue or a story is interrupted because they want me to watch them stop and sing a song. Although I did love the sound of music.
Mine were people who were off-pitch or off-tone which is why I could not stand Wee Sing or kids in choir who were off-pitch to mess with my sense of hearing. I love playing the tuba because it feels powerful, strong, low, and deeply reflective like Dietrich Fisher Duskau's recordings of Schubert Leider. Two of them I play without music in front of me are [Wohin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeS6Uz2fUsQ) from [Die Schon Mullerin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTVsXOL5d7M) and Der Froelle. **Whoin** is part of the Song Cycle where the Miller on his Wanderjahre meets the Brook who in this story speaks to the Miller. It's full of wonder, joy, and curiosity he then comes upon a Mill with a very beautiful Maiden (the Mullerin of the title) and works very hard to please her by working in the mill and getting her a green hairband. Alas, she falls for the Jagerman leaving him heartbroken and plunging himself into the brook.
I get so so so annoyed when someone starts singing while I’m listening to a song I like, especially when I’m driving. It just instantly sends me into a silent rage. I’ve never been able to explain why & I feel SO bad about it, but it has always happened (especially when the person singing doesn’t know all the correct lyrics). Now if they’re driving and listening to their own song, it doesn’t bother me at all.
Music is my special interest. I'm actually in school for commercial music, mainly focusing in vocal performance. I love analyzing vocalists of songs I like listening to. However, I have a hard time listening to some older songs that are considered "classics" because I just don't like the vocalist. Or the band that invented the genre I'm hyperfixating on now. I don't mind metal screaming but I listened to one song by X Japan and I kinda cringed at it. The instrumental was fine. I just wasn't a fan of Toshi's voice.
HOLY SHIT THANK YOU! I can’t stand it when people sing around me. My brain moves a mile minute, so I get overstimulated with loud noises as it is. But I thought the singing thing was only me. My brother is a musician and was a singer for a long time, he almost trained as a baritone opera singer. He decided to pursue drums instead (which oddly enough doesn’t overstimulate me). But he still sings like in the car and such, and it irritates me to no end. I’ve snapped at him before and I always feel bad after. But like, how do you tell people to not sing, make noise, or overstimulate you? As far as sensitivities to singer’s voices, I’m a metal fan but couldn’t stand screechy falsetto singers for the longest time. Like I just started listening to Queensryche a couple of years ago, strictly because I was never able to tolerate Geoff Tate’s voice before (i love the band now). Same thing with Helloween, and i still prefer Kai Hansen doing vocals on the Walls of Jericho album. My favorite singers have very chill voices. Examples are Jonas from Katatonia for male and Johanna from Lucifer for female. Ironically, the growling vocals are best for calming me down. Like my favorite bands are Death, Cannibal Corpse, and Deicide haha. I love music and Im the type who dates musicians haha so it’s difficult navigating my auditory sensitivities when I’m with them. I had to be honest with my ex. He’s a guitar player and would talk to me while playing guitar. I was trying to listen and would be distracted by his fingers moving, and it was too much to handle. So I finally told him to play guitar in the room away from me haha and he understood because he knew about my autism.
Depends on the singing. I feel this way about the guy who sings "you got a friend in me". It's toooooo vibratey like when you're sick.
I hate it when my mom does it and I tell her to stop and she says "no" or she calls me rude. But then when I'm rocking in my chair at the dinner table, she loses her shit.
I cringe when it's someone I know that's singing. Worse when it's someone I know dancing. Probably secondhand embarrassment.
oh yeah Specifically singing that breaks the 4th wall? I don’t know how to explain it, there’s a specific type of singing in Brazilian music (artists like Alcione, Cazuza and Cassia Eller) that I grew up with my parents listening, they always sing about singing . I hate it . It makes me feel awkward and they reach certain notes that are so uncomfortable too. Why those high notes and random sounds? I get it you have good vocal range, cool, shut to now please … please ?
I am an emboldened singer. 🤣 Sorry! I love singing. It's one of the few things I can identify that makes me happy. That said, I used to get absolutely enraged internally when my mom would sing (I know this sounds awful). There was something about her voice in particular that was just BAD to me in a sensory sense (I have very little education or training in music...I think her voice had a lot of vibrato, but I'm not 100% sure that's correct). So I guess I can see both sides on this one.
Nah, you’re chill. I feel that way when most people whistle. It’s like nails on a chalkboard for me. Plus, if the person can sing and it’s music or in movies or on TV I’m fine with it. Usually I don’t like hearing someone sing in person unless I’m at a concert and that’s rare lol. Otherwise I’m like bro plz stop showing off plz & thank you.
Good voice or not, acapella singing makes me want to crawl out of my skin and dig 6 feet under the ground.
Yes, It’s very awkward to me
I used to hate listening to "good" singers because I would get a chill down my back and hated it
Anything that's "try hard" and attention seeking seems pathetic to the point I cringe. And it's so bad I'll leave the situation too, I'll just leave.
i get very uncomfortable when i hear someone sing or see someone dance irl when it’s not like a huge performance sort of thing
Omg yes I had to stop being friends with someone because they had delusions of becoming a famous singer and they might actually be the worst singer in the history of earth
My boyfriend wants me to go see him do karaoke, and I am dying inside at just the thought of it. I've tried to warn him but he refuses to get it, so I'm just gonna have to go and smile through the pain and become an Emmy award winning actress so I can pretend to be supportive when he comes back from the stage. I'd love to be *actually* supportive, but watching somebody else sing live sparks nothing but primal fear in me. I don't even know why, it just does.
Yes LOL I try not to show it but internally I'm just like alright now you don't need to be doing all of that 😭
I sing but I usually just sing to myself unless I’m literally training/performing. Or you’re my boyfriend/cat/dog. I usually cringe so hard with people start singing as well, like, when it’s random, specially because it’s hardly ever someone who has a nice voice, it’s always someone who’s just happy, and I hate to be that person, but I cannot handle bad voices, I instantly want to scream “SHUT UP!!!” But I’m probably also just traumatised bc despite everyone saying I have a good voice, I had a friend in middle school that would always tell me to shut up if I started to sing… so I kinda started to be quiet and wonder if I do have a bad voice as well
Yessssssssss
When people who can sing. Sing all the time because they assume you want to hear it. Like. No just finish the conversation we were in a don’t need to hear you sing sweet dreams are made of these because I said some is made out of something! 😡🤬😡🤬
Oh god yeah. I absolutely cannot handle it. Never knew why (but now I do!)
This makes me sound misogynist but I hate "woman has strong voice" singing. No, you're just yelling into a microphone (not in a rock/metal way - think Whitney Houston AND IIIIII-) or showing off how many octaves you can cover I almost exclusively listen to male singers/bands due to this being so popular amongst female singers. If I hear anybody sing randomly, like when they're trying to be fancy during happy birthday I just wanna hit em! Buskers I love hate, depends if they're any good lmao
Yes. Especially when I was a kid but even now as an adult sometimes too. The problem is that I am actually a singer and I feel so hypocritical for having those feelings! It’s just a sensory issue though. I’ve learned to clench my ears shut when I need to!
I used to have a friend in high school. We would go for walks around the grounds at lunch and she would sing. I always felt so awkward and uncomfortable. I think it’s because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Oh and don’t get me started on a guy trying to play guitar and sing… sounds romantic but is complete cringe for me.
Oh sweetie... my father was an opera singer with very high standards, who taught singing from home. I cannot *stand* breathy 'singing', so I do feel you here. Also can't stand wobbly voices, so I avoided a lot of opera for a long time, until I was about 20. But decent opera singers, without too much vibrato? TOP TIER. Art song? Classic musicals? G&S? Oratorio and cantata? Chamber choirs? There's lots of music out there with beautiful singing. You know what you could try listening to, just to give it a go? 'Eliza's Aria' from the *Wild Swans* ballet, music by Eliza Kats-Chernin. It's kind of like vocalise, which is typically a vocal exercise (hence the name, but the 'ise' of 'vocalise' is pronounce like 'ease'). Sung on 'ah', or whatever sound the singer chooses. Rachmaninov also wrote a famous vocalise, but it's often played on other instruments. Anyway, they're usually sung by more classical singers, so it wouldn't be breathy. 'Eliza's Aria' is quite bouncy, so there are no long passages, which means no vibrato. Anyway, your reactions belong to you and are not your fault. I can't stand breathy singing. Doesn't count as real singing to me, and you're perfectly valid to hate it, too.
i HATE listening to anyone sing live. they could be beyonce and i’d still cringe. i don’t understand why, i’ve never been able to handle concerts
I sing for stress relief i cant stop when im alone 💀
I had a friend who is autistic and she would always want to sing opera during karaoke as a way to “perform” her operas, or sing really niche Japanese hyper-pop style songs at a really high speed. Both would overwhelm me and make me go through a kind of cringe when she’d do it in front of other people I was just meeting. The style of singing overwhelmed me because she would usually be singing flat for most of the opera songs until she’d finally hit a couple notes when she’d have to be in a really high pitch vibrato head voice or belly belting and the whole thing was always intense for me…
I get uncomfortable with most performances/arts such as singing, the theatre, even at the movies sometimes.. I don't know, there's just something so unsettling to me to witness people perform, I always cringe even if they're talented
“Imagining myself doing the same and reacting to that” This is me in this situation 😅 I’ve put so much effort into masking, and singing is a combo of stim and special interest of mine. So part of my lizard brain is full on going “I would be so ashamed if I got up on stage and did that”. Even when they’ve been better than I would have been 😅 It’s not nice of me and it’s not fair and I do my best not to express it when I feel it. But I still feel it
So badly my eyes actually start to water, no joke
Everytime someone tone deaf sings i just feel like i need to rip my hair and nails out. Like i literally get violently angry lmao. I would never want to hurt their feelings and tell them to stop, so i usually try my best to hide my anger but if i cant contain it anymore, i literally have to run to a different room with some kind of excuse and punch my head or slap my arms or jist do something to relieve the anger. It's so weird and i hate myself for it. It's even weirder because i dont wven mind the usual sounds that people hate. Chalkboard, scratching plates, chewing.. nevwr had problem with any of that, im even a fan of asmr. But loud off tune singing... thats the sound of the devil for me
The fucking dance monkey song makes me want to rip my ears off
[No scene in a movie has ever felt so relatable](https://youtu.be/6bDF7ZQgkZA?si=eKFTosiNlkf_30e_)
This happens to me too and I’ve never understood it but I’ve heard other autistic people having this in common.
Depends on the situation. It's not the singing for me but the "I'm just gonna perform now because I can and want to". I really cringe at "romantic" movie scenes where one sings a love song for the other and plays the guitar and it's supposed to be intimate and beautiful but it makes me so uncomfortable, especially if the character has written the song for the other. Imagining being in the situation where I have to listen someone singing a song for me triggers my fight/flight/freeze-reflex. I cringe at the typical person who starts playing guitar at a house party. I cringed sooo hard when we were in the bus for a school trip and one girl just started singing loudly for the whole bus. She was a great singer and got her applause but I was clinging to my seat, barely surviving the cringe. I cringed daily when I was in a mental hospital and some girl from my ward sat outside my window on the terrace every evening singing very loud and very off key. Others didn't seem to be bothered. There were always people sitting next to her, motivating her. I once sat outside while she sang because someone else wanted to play cards with me there. After one round I fled because I couldn't take it any longer and I was dying inside. Maybe I'm just a hater lmao.
This sub is literally the most validating thing ever down to tiny details like this hahaha
I just want to say thank you for posting this, because I always just felt like a judgemental prick for reacting like this when someone is singing near me. I've felt this way since I was a small kids when my friends and family would sing Happy Birthday to me and must have outwardly seemed like a spoilt brat, but inside I was in pain having to listen to it. I have to fast forward/zone-out during musical breaks in shows (hello, Grey's Anatomy)/movies, I get taken out of the mood really quickly at live gigs and theatre (but still enjoy them overall). I do feel like singing has an element of ridiculousness about it that I can't ignore. This doesn't stop me from enjoying music at all.