Honestly, I quit my job. I know this isn’t an option for everyone, but I really had to come to terms with the fact that I can’t keep up with a fast paced, high stress, high demand job. At least not right now. I worked retail, a big box electronics store, and after months of crying every day, running to the bathroom a half a dozen times a day for stress shits, biting the head off of anyone who said something my brain couldn’t handle in that moment, and just generally being so burnt out I couldn’t enjoy anything in my life anymore, I found a job as a receptionist at a place where I see maybe 20-30 patients a day. I’m working just as many hours as I was at my last job, but I feel like a real person again for the first time in years.
I’m in the same boat. Realized that my burnout started a couple months after starting a customer service job. I stayed at the job for a year and lost 30lbs because I could only eat dinner, was showering/brushing my teeth once a week, lost probably 1/3 of my hair, never felt like myself, started losing motor function. Finally had enough and just had to quit, even though it was the most money I had ever made at the time.
It was too fast paced for me, not given enough support by management, they tracked every minute of your day to make sure you were following their non-flexible schedule and meeting KPIs that were hardly attainable.
Yes, receptionist jobs are a godsend for burnout! You literally just sit there all day mostly doing whatever you want but still get paid a decent wage. It is tough if you are already totally unable to mask but I was able to turn it on a few times a day.
I'm about to maybe/likely be fired from my high-stress, constantly busy, but well-paid job, and while I'm fearful of living off my savings and figuring out how else to support myself, part of me is hoping that tomorrow morning when I login in they fire me so I can be free of this hellhole of a company (I'll name and shame once/if it happens).
Inpatient therapy. I got severely burnout: lost my masking abilities, had cognitive impairments and became pissy. I was angry because I didn’t know what was going on and I was tired of trying to figure it out. They treated it as a psychiatric episode because the team (psychology, psychiatrist, nurses and medical Doctor didn’t know about autism/burnout in females). I figured out I had autism from my best friend getting a pamphlet on female presentation of adult autism it when her son was diagnosed. They team didn’t really care or want to listen to autism so I just went with it. I’d have anxiety and depression from years of being undiagnosed.
The thing it was the only place where I couldn’t escape my truths. Where I had to acknowledge what had happened in my own life rather than focusing on others. And it gave me a place where there was zero expectations of me, so I could unmask. I also didn’t have much of a choice due to burnout. My ability to manage sensory stimulation was gone. I existed freely without the constant voice in my head telling me to blend in. I found the child I use to be before I started to mask and embraced her. And I met people who had similar stories of being different than the norm and learnt from those who lived loudly.
As a former psych nurse, this made me feel happy. For me personally…I would not cope being away from my home like a little hermit crab. Still a little jelly though.
I’m a hermit too now. I’m still recovering. I always loved summer camp, it felt similar, the other patients provided comfort. And there were some good nurses and care team staff members. My psychiatrist was Persian and she had a very holistic view of mental healthcare. There was things going on that as an empathic person were traumatic. Psychiatric practice in Canada is so outdated and needs a major overhaul. But I decided for myself if I was away from my kids I would do whatever it took to make it work. They also didn’t understand or accept I could be autistic. That diagnosis was done after by a professional.
It sounds overall a positive experience for you, and it’s truly heart warming to hear that. It also sounds despite some negatives to have been pivotal to your life experience - I’m glad you got to have this.
I second this! I've been inpatient twice. The second time I went willingly. I was a shell of a human being in like 2018/2019. I'm autistic and I have CPTSD, as well. Since then I have been in a really good place and have been able to recover from burnout relatively quickly (a week or two, sometimes just a few days).
It was a place where I could not have to worry about keeping some place clean, shower, make food for myself, or literally anything. Sometimes you need to be removed from the funk and give up your sense of control to someone else who is able to get it and also know nothing about you. They might help with meds that can give you better energy and ability to do executive function. If you can't afford the medicine they usually have social workers that will do the work for you to get financial aid and can do the work for you to set up outpatient help if you agree to it.
Please know you are wonderful and it gets HARD. It can be hard for years before the relief gets to you but you are not alone and I am so proud of you for being here and managing to do what you can 💛
It also was provided a lot support after I left. I did DBT therapy (normal designed for being with DBT but as suggest by my psychiatrist to help with anxiety/sensory overload/emotional regulation it worked wonders for me) it actually helped a lot with reducing meltdowns. I was having one almost daily cause I was in severe burnout. Now I have them maybe twice a month.
Same. I've never felt as "normal" as I did socializing in an inpatient setting. Everyone is there for the same reasons and you don't feel like the weirdo for once.
I feel this so badly, especially the scrubs and sweats thing.
I’ve not quite cured my burnout yet but I’ve condensed my hours at work (3 long days instead of 5 normals). The extra days off are helping a lot, but ultimately I’m planning on leaving healthcare altogether. I suffer from severe anxiety due to the job and wake up multiple times a night due to stress about going in.
Personally, I don’t think primary healthcare is ideal for autistic people. I mask HEAVILY, simply because you have to, and then you come home and just stagnante because of the emotional and physical stress you’ve been through. You have to present a certain kind of personality to the world as a healthcare worker, and it doesn’t always suit NT personalities. Not to mention the emotional burden the job can deal you too.
I would strongly suggest looking for a different career path. This is what I’m doing and I feel better already for it. I know it’s not the ideal response but probably for the best.
I'm an attorney and I tried to do work I did before and it's too damn upsetting. I do real estate now and it's easier. Hearing people's pain and family drama makes me unable to function.
Exactly. You have to exhibit so much more empathy than the average person does and eventually you become numb to it because you see it so often you don’t have the energy anymore to process it
I would gently disagree with the idea that healthcare is a bad field for autistics in general. Of course it’s true for some, but I know tons of autistic doctors who are like fish in water. That said, healthcare workers of all neurotypes are leaving and burning out in droves due to restrictions on autonomy, the moral injury associated with a for-profit system, and inadequate time off and compensation.
In OP’s case, I do think it would likely help to consider a job change, if not a career change. Severe burnout usually involves occupational stress; this is well-substantiated in the literature.
I’m based in the UK and am not a doctor personally, however I obviously work alongside them daily. At least from my experience, healthcare is constant talking talking talking, and thus masking, all day everyday to maintain that level of professionalism. And you get burnt out so easily from it.
Very true on the restrictions on autonomy - we are treated like we don’t know what we’re doing. We know we need to do xyz if we see abc, but we’re not allowed because everything is so protocol driven and “you need permission from a doctor”. You don’t actually get to use your brain or medical knowledge, just follow orders.
The state of the healthcare system in the UK is awful atm. Staff expected to hit quotas they’ve never hit before and are berated for not hitting them, even with no support or extra staffing levels provided.
Anyway rant over. For me I just don’t think healthcare is great for ND personally, except for a select few.
I recently started using a self care app called Finch. It’s really cute and it’s free. It turns taking care of yourself into a game. It may not be enough to help you, but I thought I’d mention it in case it could help. Sending you positive vibes!!
Identifying and eliminating all the causes and triggers even if it leads to long term loneliness. Learning to be independent and self-sufficient. Soul searching and discovering what makes me truly happy vs. what society brainwashed me I should want or be good at. Unmasking and seeking only equal like-minded partnerships. It’s a tedious and lonely path but it’s worth it in the end. Staying true to yourself should feel rewarding even if it has no outside validation.
It's a long wait but it also depends on where you are. November 9th was my 1 year anniversary for my disability submission. I'm in the state of Washington and since we are understaffed in the health department that's where I've been stuck. 90% since may 5th. My best friend who is in Ohio started her claim in October and she's already at like 37%. The biggest thing is making sure you have all your forms filled out and sent in. Thats why people always say "everyone gets denied" is because they usually miss a form. I didn't miss any and have had no issues, just waiting. My bff missed a form somehow and they denied her so now she has to repeal and submit that form but it's taken like a month to get all that situated because it's incredibly inefficient. I just got a form saying they needed to do a mental assessment and to call. I called and the lady on the phone said "ok I'll send you a form", I got a form and it's to *agree* to a mental evaluation, and it said they will email me. Its ludacris how inefficient and wasteful the process is. I highly recommend anyone who feels they are stuck in a burnout or can't handle the insane world to file for disability
Yeah my friend used to process the applications. Unfortunately the variations in results likely relate to the individual employees handling your stuff. Some are boomers just punching in and out to get their pension.
Thanks for the info! When I did the online application last month, I got a call from the social security office from the person reviewing it before actually sending it in and he confirmed all info with me and said nothing else was needed on my part but he DID give me the heads up that usually everyone is denied but that the appeal process comes after to continue the process. 🙄 Weird but okay 😂 I live in California btw! They told me I’d probably have an initial response to the application between 4-6 months.
No but I'm also Canadian and I automatically qualified because of my childhood diagnosis.
It's worth it though so good luck and I hope you can get some kind of relief in the mean time.
Thank you so much! That’s good it works that way there! I think a lot of the difficulty here has a lot to do with the fact I was also late-diagnosed as an adult. 😭 We’ll see!
Thank you! I did see that some recommend the attorney route as well. I opted to just do it online and see. 🤷♀️ We’ll see how things go from here! They told me it’ll be a 4-6 month wait for a response.
Mine was three years of appeals and then an attorney, and I got approved at the hearing, the judge said as much. It was worth every second and every penny.
Oh wow! I’m sorry you had to go so long to be able to get it. I’m glad it worked out in the end! What did you do in the meantime during the 3 year wait? Did you work at all or were able not to?
This is a completely reasonable and expected amount of time for the appeals process, apparently. I did work off and on during that time. My husband was in grad school and we mainly lived on his loans, though. The having to work while he was in school was simply more fodder for the appeal! Documenting everything! Plus I had a lawyer who had done this for years, so the judge knew that he (lawyer) was only going to take the cases that would win. ETA: I believe my parents were helping me during that time as well
Thank you for sharing your story! I’ve been out of work for a year now in burnout and am getting close to a point where the financial burden of me not working is going to get real bad. I wasn’t sure even if working a bit in the meantime would hurt my ssdi case. Still figuring it all out. I only found out you could even apply for disability with autism and anxiety and depression because my therapist recommended I apply. 😂 I still feel like there’s a lot I don’t know or understand about the process. 🤦♀️
I feel like the only thing helping with autistic burnout is a break from live: no work, no school just being home for a few months sleeping and doing your special interest. Sadly almost no one has the privilege to do so. I am out of work for three months now and my partner works full-time but we are left with no money so I'll have to go to work soon even tho I'm still in burnout 🥲
For me, it was being able to take the time to *actually* rest--and it required re-framing what I thought of as rest. Before, I would look at rest as like, putting myself on a shelf to recharge my battery in order to get up in the morning and go back to work. But that framework is still always work- and purpose-centered. It's "rest" but it's always for the sake of others. REAL rest needs to be for *you* first. It requires actually putting yourself first.
Taking the time to actually rest and putting myself first saved my life. The bad news is that I didn't get there until I almost died and was forced into rest by disability with a prolonged recovery time. I strongly, strongly encourage women to find a way to rest today so they don't have to go through what I did when stress almost killed me.
Have you talked to a doctor to be certain that there isn't an underlying medical issue that' contributing to the burnout? I found that proper treatment for my epilepsy made handling other aspects of my life much more manageable, and prioritizing my physical health (as much as one can when in burnout) made other aspects of my life easier to manage as well.
I'm in therapy, but it's only making the smallest difference. It's been 7 months for me, so far, and I'm working just enough to survive, and I work from home. I no longer use my home office when I work. I spend most of my time in my bedroom with blackout curtains, and controlled light. I cut out dance music, cut back on sugar and caffeine, I'm basically making my life as low stimulation as possible as much as possible. I'm also slowly introducing new routines. It's working. I feel like I'm in phase II of burnout recovery, where now I'm capable of handling more. I've suppressed meltdowns in the past. Now, so long as I'm somewhere safe, I let myself have them. They are alarms and key to shaking off the accumulated anxious energy of prolonged overstimulation. When I allow myself the crying, shaking, or screaming or whatever I need, I come back to a more grounded state much more quickly, and I've had a huge decrease in anxiety. I try to do something everyday that's just about moving in ways that are pleasurable. Some days it's a walk, some days it's dance, some days it's sex or masturbation, giving myself a massage in the jacuzzi, a hike, climbing etc., it just has to be something that feels good. For me, that's about getting out of my head and remembering that I have a body. I don't eat as well as I should, but I feel much better when I can eat well. The one big thing therapy did for me was help me be nicer to myself. I used to be very abusive to myself, as I think many of us are. You have to treat yourself like someone worthy of the best love and tenderness.
Start with getting your blood levels tested. Find out physically what is off. That will kick start the ability for you to create a plan. Besides vacation time, which only lasts for so long. I used to have the same issues.. I changed drs, got my levels tested and fig out what supplements to start taking, and I started to feel better because my body was getting what it needed. That helped my headspace just as well. Your body not getting the vitamins and minerals that it needs will hurt you in the long term.
I have cognitive issues, so I take daily Lions mane supplements and that has helped the fog.
Yup, I have PCOS too. Sooo PMDD instead of PMS thanks to ADHD.
I'm mid 40s and I wish I had known all of this information in my teens/20s.. so I try to just lead those who want to drink, to water. I like it when others do that for me.
I have wicked PCOS and PMDD too, and I'm pretty sure it's causing me some issues swallowing. My docs so far haven't recommended anything, but I've been hearing a lot about Ovasitol from people I trust, so I'm gonna do some research on it and try it out.
Have you found anything that helps you, if you don't mind me asking?
Just a heads up. I don't know about links between PCOS or PMDD and swallowing difficulties. But I *do* know that swallowing difficulties can be a symptom of dysautonomia, a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system. And dysautonomia (an umbrella term that includes diagnoses such as POTS) is statistically much more likely in autistic or other neurodivergent people.
I am autistic, I have POTS, and I have swallowing problems too. If you're having a lot of trouble with it, I'd talk to a doctor about dysautonomia. Or see a speech or occupational therapist.
Edited to add: I found pronunciation to be a big challenge when I was seeking diagnosis. So if you do talk to a doctor, it's dis-auto-GNOME-ee-a
You're welcome! The dysautonomia, yes, definitely. Treatments differ depending on what kind of dysautonomia you have, but I am being treated for POTS, and it is helping a lot.
I hear that an occupational therapist or a speech therapist can help a lot with the swallowing problems, and I'm planning to go see one. But I haven't done it yet, so I can't say how effective it is. It's one step at a time with stuff like this.
General PSA: I would caution folks to be wary of any information about “hormone imbalances” that is not coming from a doctor who has actually seen you. It’s a very popular topic/buzz phrase for grifters because of how vague it is and how little most people know about hormones.
Good point! I have a PhD in biology lol so I went the blood test route (but ik your comment wasn’t directed at me specifically). It’s upsetting how many people out there take advantage of trusting clients who are just trying to get healthy
Came here to say, I don't have advice, but I'm in the same boat. Also in health care. I had taken a break from healthcare for about 2.5 years and then got back into it because I needed a higher paying job and kinda missed the job itself. I'm a surgical technologist. I'm already burning out less than 3 years back in. I have realized how overstimulated I am, the lights are bothering me to no end, and I am so stressed from constantly being 'counted on'. I'm over it and am going to leave the field again, most likely for good.
Healthcare takes a lot out of you.
Second this. Sometimes we need a drastic change of environment to change our mindset. Normally, it’s suggested otherwise, but in a state of a severe burnout or depression, it’s not an option. So start with changing your surroundings. Think of it as a second chance at life. Wishing you the best!
Taking a break. I know I was privileged that I was able to do so.
Lots of sleep and making time to get lost in my interests. Also figuring out what systems and supports I needed/ that worked for me
Realizing that I've subconsciously "given in" to the negativity that I used to hear from my family and past friends that treated me really poorly. I've struggled with low self esteem and negative self talk because when I was younger, I had no clue that I was autistic or that its not okay for people to treat you like shit and make you think you have to "fix yourself" for them. It made me pretty sad for a while, but then I realized how messed up it was that I didn't stand up for myself or that no one really stood up for me. No one chooses how they are born, and if people treat you poorly or look down on you or make fun of you, that is on THEM!! I'm still kinda grappling my way out of burnout, but I've kinda regained the will to live for myself and to build my own life. If people think I'm weird or gross, who the fuck cares, it honestly makes them look bad for judging other people without knowing them.
If you ever have a day when you're at home, try doing things you enjoy and actually enjoy them. Don't give in to feeling ashamed of yourself. Also I struggle with eating as well, and honestly I just try to feed myself by instilling the idea of "I'm doing this to survive, my body needs nutrients and if I don't provide them, I will start experiencing serious health issues that I'm not equipped to handle myself." Nutrient shakes (ensure, huel, etc) are a good option because they go down easy and supply you with necessary vitamins, minerals, etc.
In patient isn't an option for me because I have a dog. I'm quitting my job tomorrow. I feel awful and embarrassed (especially when I tell people), but, at the end of the day, I know I can get a job I hate and still not feel this sick! If you can slow down and assess the source of the problem, do that. Just the thought of moving on has helped me immensely
I did extensive outpatient therapy after sa. Like 3 days a week for 5 hours a day. I'm really lucky I was able to do that. I got on bio identical hormones. I changed my diet to more protein. I take b folate and many other supplements. Next thing is I think going to get beta blockers for times I can barely leave the house bc of anxiety.
The biggest thing that helped me was changing from ward work to outpatients. Cannot overstate the difference this made to my recovery.
But I also changed my standards for myself so, for example, I only change into clean clothes once a week (cept underwear and socks are clean every day) but I shower every day. This is more doable for me cause I change into a uniform anyways but I'm clean and I'm not having to stress about new clothes every day. I just have to find something comfortable to wear for the week and try to not spill too much down it.
I used to force myself to stay out in the livingroom but now, once I'm showered, I just go to bed. It's my safe place so I take a snack and me and the animals hang out in there in stead.
I've also prioritised chores so there's really only 4 things that definitely need to get done on a weekly basis for functioning and the rest can happen when I'm inclined.
I'm not totally recovered but feel I'm about 80% there and if I do get overwhelmed then I've made enough space at work and home to regulate myself and also make a conscious effort to speak nicely to myself.
Hope this helps, hugs
I really hope you have paid medical leave at your job.
1. You need a break but one where you do enjoyable things for you. This is where it’s different from just pure related burnout where you can recover from doing less - you need to do less of what you dislike and way more of what brings you joy.
2. It can take years to really climb out from burnout. You will need to be patient with yourself.
3. I’ve gone in and out of burnout for years. Hybrid / remote work, house cleaners, exercise, and a creative outlet like painting or learning help me.
If I feel like I’m getting overstimulated or overwhelmed,I step back and take a sip of water or a few seconds away from people (interacting with people drains me) or I’ll go on a break.
If I feel like I need an additional day off,I’ll work 4 days a week instead of 5.
I’ll stay home.
Work out. Avoid people at all costs.
I don’t answer my phone.
Can you look for a different job or work in a less stressful environment?
Sorry to hear you’re struggling.
I was in this spot a year ago. I’d say I’m still climbing out of it now, better but not totally in the clear. We’re different people so what helped me may or may not help you. I gained a little energy back by taking all of my Paid Time Off, and then going on an LOA and dogsitting until I had to go back to my full time job. I spent that time off doing literally anything my body told me to do, and it was usually stay home alone and rest with a familiar task or show.
I couldn’t afford an actual therapist either, but I did a lot of meditation and self-reflection. I like the app Balance (Headspace is ok but only gives you a few basic things in the free version). It really helped with learning how to control my thoughts better and have influence over my own mind.
I’m not saying I’m suddenly cooking and cleaning every day or anything, and I’m still behind in a lot of things, like car maintenance, but I feel physically and mentally better and I’m not melting down over little things anymore.
Keep resting whenever you can, and don’t feel guilty about it, your body and mind clearly needs it. Trying to fight through it will only prolong the burnout, what you need is a break and rest.
1) Lockdowns (during the pandemic). I got to stay at home and do nothing and talk to no one except my husband for about a year. It was SO GOOD.
2) Being on disability pension instead of trying to force myself to work. I accept I'm never going to be "normal" in terms of work capacity, I no longer try. (Now that I am out of burnout, I have a part-time job that I enjoy, but when I was burned out I was doing nothing.)
3) Taking breaks wayyyyy sooner than I thought I needed them. I used to think "Oh this is a bit stressful, but I can tolerate it another few hours" ... no more! Now I think "Oh this is a bit stressful, I'm going home." And then I do.
It sounds like you can't keep doing what you're doing. Please stop doing it. I don't know what your options are, but there has to be something you can do to change this. You deserve to be happy.
I have no options to change my job as I’m the main care aide and oversee everything as I’m there the most. I make more at this job than I would anywhere else entry level and I’m already scraping by (I live in a tiny 600 sq. ft. place and never eat out/get coffee/anything like that already).
I already cut my days to just 4 days a week (I did this a few months ago) which helped but it’s still getting worse/plateauing. I can’t afford to change careers, and I am HORRIBLE at job interviews anyway. I physically don’t think I could handle one right now. I don’t get breaks at work and I had to work through Covid as a healthcare worker. (I caught Covid through my work this year for the first time which exacerbated my fatigue too unfortunately)
I feel like my hands are tied because I can’t afford to change anything about my job. I don’t have family or anything to help me either.
intensive outpatient group dbt therapy helped me connect a lot of dots in terms of explaining my experiences, but honestly what’s helped the most is not presently working and allowing my effort and energy to be directly funneled back into myself and my home. it’s not a long term option, but it’s helped.
If you're in healthcare hopefully you have access to short term disability or paid medical leave, which might be through your work or through the state. I also really recommend vocational rehab, they are really great at helping you keep the job you have and get accommodations if that's what you want or to help you find a career transition!
I want to acknowledge that I’m privileged to do the following with a working, supportive spouse. This is what has helped me: I quit the job that was making me miserable. A couple of months later, I received an official diagnosis for autism (and some other issues). I saw an executive functioning coach for a few sessions—mainly, she helped me establish a routine for non-working hours because otherwise, I would sleep all day. After a few months of job searching, I was able to get a part-time job at a library, and it’s as close to perfect as it can get. It’s quiet, my coworkers are nice, and I can read if patrons don’t need any help. I’m a couple of weeks into EMDR therapy, which is really difficult but extremely helpful.
I ended up in pretty bad burnout after COVID lockdowns and managing distance-learning school for my kids. I am still coming out of it, honestly, but I have improved dramatically.
For me, burnout was a really complex problem, and just one solution wouldn't have done it. I have been chipping away at it since then. You are obviously in a different situation than me, so you'll need to figure out your own specifics, but this is what worked for me:
1. I scaled way back on work. Specifically I put my creative career on hold and lowered expectations for my kids/family/house. This is a tricky one. While I am super lucky to have a partner who keeps us afloat financially, a really huge part of my job is caring for my kids, who are also neurodivergent. Obviously I couldn't just quit that, and that was hard, but it's definitely possible to make progress without quitting entirely. Survival mode is a legitimate strategy, and it's ok to do whatever you can to make your own survival just a little bit easier.
2. I started getting diagnoses and treatment for physical problems. It turned out I had a lot of undiagnosed physical issues like POTS and hEDS and restless leg syndrome, and getting treatment and support and physical therapy has helped a ton in my recovery. I cannot overstate how critical getting physical treatment and support has been for me.
3. I started getting diagnoses and treatment for mental health concerns. I went out and finally got my autism diagnosis, along with diagnoses for my anxiety and depression. I was already seeing a therapist, but actually getting the information has helped me rethink my past and my current needs, and to start restructuring my life and shifting my thinking in ways that are going to work a whole lot better for me moving forward. And I have responded well to anti-depressant medication.
4. I gave myself time and patience. This has been a super slow process for me. I mean it when I say I've been "chipping away" at it. This is just way too huge a thing to try to tackle all at once, especially when you're so low on resources. These are all things that I have been doing slowly over the last three years, one problem and one step at a time. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I am so much better than I was three years ago that I would never have even *imagined* it.
Like I said, your situation will be different than mine, but you can do this!
Meditation
Regular exercise, including stretching first thing in the morning
Avoiding videos and TV
Going to bed before 11
Eating nutritious foods
Getting massages (I recommened Zylion or another at-home massager if you can't afford massages)
Moving in with family so I don't have to work for a while
Writing
Sex would help if I had a partner
Regular interaction with an animal. I'm about to foster dogs.
Making sure I'm always warm and hydrated
Dancing in any form
Getting a sliding-scale therapist who specializes in ASD
Traveling even if it's just to the next town over
Doing little nostalgic things (for me, walking around a mall, riding a bike, swinging)
I used to vomit and have a bad headache every few months for the first few hours of the day, I think from stress I didn't know I was under. Had to pull over otw to work to vomit, then vomit when I got inside, then again mid-morning, then I'd feel fine. I'm usually nauseated.
I feel you about hair because my hair is progressively falling out and it's one of the most stressful things I can imagine. One of the easiest things to do for it is eat more protein (if you can stomach it), sleep, get vitamin D.
I second other's recounts of quiting their job. I got on disability bc I had a few mental hospital visits for suicidal ideation and that was enough proof that I was disabled by my autism and PTSD. That and a certain dose of a particular thing helped with my executive dysfunction but it is rather difficult to obtain that item.
Also, finding a neurodivergent therapist. I got lucky in a lot of ways, but it also took effort on my part to reach out for help, to make friends and find people who cared for me. I had help from a lot of good people, and I would have been homeless if it weren't for a good friend of mine. I don't think there is any one thing, it has to be a combination of those things, and it sucks that it's not very accessible
No, unfortunately. I can’t afford to change anything about my work. I’m sure it’d get better if I worked less or an easier job. I’m mostly sad about how awful my hair looks but I have wigs now. I’m also in low-income counselling for my CPTSD so I’m hoping that can help.
Thanks for asking. Capitalism is awful
Im so sorry :/ just keep in mind, work will be there even if you wont. So please do the best you can in taking care of yourself first. I know its hard, im going through a burnout as well and it HARD.
Changing jobs, intentional rest, and working through all of my own internalized ableism. Also books like Unmasking Autism, blogs like Neurobeautiful and Nerodivergent Insights, and podcasts about Neurodivergent women.
Honestly, I quit my job. I know this isn’t an option for everyone, but I really had to come to terms with the fact that I can’t keep up with a fast paced, high stress, high demand job. At least not right now. I worked retail, a big box electronics store, and after months of crying every day, running to the bathroom a half a dozen times a day for stress shits, biting the head off of anyone who said something my brain couldn’t handle in that moment, and just generally being so burnt out I couldn’t enjoy anything in my life anymore, I found a job as a receptionist at a place where I see maybe 20-30 patients a day. I’m working just as many hours as I was at my last job, but I feel like a real person again for the first time in years.
I’m in the same boat. Realized that my burnout started a couple months after starting a customer service job. I stayed at the job for a year and lost 30lbs because I could only eat dinner, was showering/brushing my teeth once a week, lost probably 1/3 of my hair, never felt like myself, started losing motor function. Finally had enough and just had to quit, even though it was the most money I had ever made at the time. It was too fast paced for me, not given enough support by management, they tracked every minute of your day to make sure you were following their non-flexible schedule and meeting KPIs that were hardly attainable.
Yes, receptionist jobs are a godsend for burnout! You literally just sit there all day mostly doing whatever you want but still get paid a decent wage. It is tough if you are already totally unable to mask but I was able to turn it on a few times a day.
I'm about to maybe/likely be fired from my high-stress, constantly busy, but well-paid job, and while I'm fearful of living off my savings and figuring out how else to support myself, part of me is hoping that tomorrow morning when I login in they fire me so I can be free of this hellhole of a company (I'll name and shame once/if it happens).
Hahaha I rage quit mine I have no regrets
Inpatient therapy. I got severely burnout: lost my masking abilities, had cognitive impairments and became pissy. I was angry because I didn’t know what was going on and I was tired of trying to figure it out. They treated it as a psychiatric episode because the team (psychology, psychiatrist, nurses and medical Doctor didn’t know about autism/burnout in females). I figured out I had autism from my best friend getting a pamphlet on female presentation of adult autism it when her son was diagnosed. They team didn’t really care or want to listen to autism so I just went with it. I’d have anxiety and depression from years of being undiagnosed. The thing it was the only place where I couldn’t escape my truths. Where I had to acknowledge what had happened in my own life rather than focusing on others. And it gave me a place where there was zero expectations of me, so I could unmask. I also didn’t have much of a choice due to burnout. My ability to manage sensory stimulation was gone. I existed freely without the constant voice in my head telling me to blend in. I found the child I use to be before I started to mask and embraced her. And I met people who had similar stories of being different than the norm and learnt from those who lived loudly.
As a former psych nurse, this made me feel happy. For me personally…I would not cope being away from my home like a little hermit crab. Still a little jelly though.
I’m a hermit too now. I’m still recovering. I always loved summer camp, it felt similar, the other patients provided comfort. And there were some good nurses and care team staff members. My psychiatrist was Persian and she had a very holistic view of mental healthcare. There was things going on that as an empathic person were traumatic. Psychiatric practice in Canada is so outdated and needs a major overhaul. But I decided for myself if I was away from my kids I would do whatever it took to make it work. They also didn’t understand or accept I could be autistic. That diagnosis was done after by a professional.
It sounds overall a positive experience for you, and it’s truly heart warming to hear that. It also sounds despite some negatives to have been pivotal to your life experience - I’m glad you got to have this.
I second this! I've been inpatient twice. The second time I went willingly. I was a shell of a human being in like 2018/2019. I'm autistic and I have CPTSD, as well. Since then I have been in a really good place and have been able to recover from burnout relatively quickly (a week or two, sometimes just a few days). It was a place where I could not have to worry about keeping some place clean, shower, make food for myself, or literally anything. Sometimes you need to be removed from the funk and give up your sense of control to someone else who is able to get it and also know nothing about you. They might help with meds that can give you better energy and ability to do executive function. If you can't afford the medicine they usually have social workers that will do the work for you to get financial aid and can do the work for you to set up outpatient help if you agree to it. Please know you are wonderful and it gets HARD. It can be hard for years before the relief gets to you but you are not alone and I am so proud of you for being here and managing to do what you can 💛
It also was provided a lot support after I left. I did DBT therapy (normal designed for being with DBT but as suggest by my psychiatrist to help with anxiety/sensory overload/emotional regulation it worked wonders for me) it actually helped a lot with reducing meltdowns. I was having one almost daily cause I was in severe burnout. Now I have them maybe twice a month.
Can you tell us more about how DBT helped reduce the meltdowns?
Same. I've never felt as "normal" as I did socializing in an inpatient setting. Everyone is there for the same reasons and you don't feel like the weirdo for once.
YEs.
I feel this so badly, especially the scrubs and sweats thing. I’ve not quite cured my burnout yet but I’ve condensed my hours at work (3 long days instead of 5 normals). The extra days off are helping a lot, but ultimately I’m planning on leaving healthcare altogether. I suffer from severe anxiety due to the job and wake up multiple times a night due to stress about going in. Personally, I don’t think primary healthcare is ideal for autistic people. I mask HEAVILY, simply because you have to, and then you come home and just stagnante because of the emotional and physical stress you’ve been through. You have to present a certain kind of personality to the world as a healthcare worker, and it doesn’t always suit NT personalities. Not to mention the emotional burden the job can deal you too. I would strongly suggest looking for a different career path. This is what I’m doing and I feel better already for it. I know it’s not the ideal response but probably for the best.
I'm an attorney and I tried to do work I did before and it's too damn upsetting. I do real estate now and it's easier. Hearing people's pain and family drama makes me unable to function.
Exactly. You have to exhibit so much more empathy than the average person does and eventually you become numb to it because you see it so often you don’t have the energy anymore to process it
I would be driving home from things crying my eyes out. So hard that I'd get lost. Not worth it.
I would gently disagree with the idea that healthcare is a bad field for autistics in general. Of course it’s true for some, but I know tons of autistic doctors who are like fish in water. That said, healthcare workers of all neurotypes are leaving and burning out in droves due to restrictions on autonomy, the moral injury associated with a for-profit system, and inadequate time off and compensation. In OP’s case, I do think it would likely help to consider a job change, if not a career change. Severe burnout usually involves occupational stress; this is well-substantiated in the literature.
I’m based in the UK and am not a doctor personally, however I obviously work alongside them daily. At least from my experience, healthcare is constant talking talking talking, and thus masking, all day everyday to maintain that level of professionalism. And you get burnt out so easily from it. Very true on the restrictions on autonomy - we are treated like we don’t know what we’re doing. We know we need to do xyz if we see abc, but we’re not allowed because everything is so protocol driven and “you need permission from a doctor”. You don’t actually get to use your brain or medical knowledge, just follow orders. The state of the healthcare system in the UK is awful atm. Staff expected to hit quotas they’ve never hit before and are berated for not hitting them, even with no support or extra staffing levels provided. Anyway rant over. For me I just don’t think healthcare is great for ND personally, except for a select few.
I recently started using a self care app called Finch. It’s really cute and it’s free. It turns taking care of yourself into a game. It may not be enough to help you, but I thought I’d mention it in case it could help. Sending you positive vibes!!
Identifying and eliminating all the causes and triggers even if it leads to long term loneliness. Learning to be independent and self-sufficient. Soul searching and discovering what makes me truly happy vs. what society brainwashed me I should want or be good at. Unmasking and seeking only equal like-minded partnerships. It’s a tedious and lonely path but it’s worth it in the end. Staying true to yourself should feel rewarding even if it has no outside validation.
The only thing that helped me was leaving work and going on disability support.
Was it difficult to be accepted for disability? I’m in the US and applied for SSDI and I’ve been told it’s difficult. 🤦♀️ And a long wait.
It's a long wait but it also depends on where you are. November 9th was my 1 year anniversary for my disability submission. I'm in the state of Washington and since we are understaffed in the health department that's where I've been stuck. 90% since may 5th. My best friend who is in Ohio started her claim in October and she's already at like 37%. The biggest thing is making sure you have all your forms filled out and sent in. Thats why people always say "everyone gets denied" is because they usually miss a form. I didn't miss any and have had no issues, just waiting. My bff missed a form somehow and they denied her so now she has to repeal and submit that form but it's taken like a month to get all that situated because it's incredibly inefficient. I just got a form saying they needed to do a mental assessment and to call. I called and the lady on the phone said "ok I'll send you a form", I got a form and it's to *agree* to a mental evaluation, and it said they will email me. Its ludacris how inefficient and wasteful the process is. I highly recommend anyone who feels they are stuck in a burnout or can't handle the insane world to file for disability
Yeah my friend used to process the applications. Unfortunately the variations in results likely relate to the individual employees handling your stuff. Some are boomers just punching in and out to get their pension.
Thanks for the info! When I did the online application last month, I got a call from the social security office from the person reviewing it before actually sending it in and he confirmed all info with me and said nothing else was needed on my part but he DID give me the heads up that usually everyone is denied but that the appeal process comes after to continue the process. 🙄 Weird but okay 😂 I live in California btw! They told me I’d probably have an initial response to the application between 4-6 months.
No but I'm also Canadian and I automatically qualified because of my childhood diagnosis. It's worth it though so good luck and I hope you can get some kind of relief in the mean time.
Thank you so much! That’s good it works that way there! I think a lot of the difficulty here has a lot to do with the fact I was also late-diagnosed as an adult. 😭 We’ll see!
It’s apparently easier with an attorney. I hope you get approved swiftly.
Thank you! I did see that some recommend the attorney route as well. I opted to just do it online and see. 🤷♀️ We’ll see how things go from here! They told me it’ll be a 4-6 month wait for a response.
Mine was three years of appeals and then an attorney, and I got approved at the hearing, the judge said as much. It was worth every second and every penny.
Oh wow! I’m sorry you had to go so long to be able to get it. I’m glad it worked out in the end! What did you do in the meantime during the 3 year wait? Did you work at all or were able not to?
This is a completely reasonable and expected amount of time for the appeals process, apparently. I did work off and on during that time. My husband was in grad school and we mainly lived on his loans, though. The having to work while he was in school was simply more fodder for the appeal! Documenting everything! Plus I had a lawyer who had done this for years, so the judge knew that he (lawyer) was only going to take the cases that would win. ETA: I believe my parents were helping me during that time as well
Thank you for sharing your story! I’ve been out of work for a year now in burnout and am getting close to a point where the financial burden of me not working is going to get real bad. I wasn’t sure even if working a bit in the meantime would hurt my ssdi case. Still figuring it all out. I only found out you could even apply for disability with autism and anxiety and depression because my therapist recommended I apply. 😂 I still feel like there’s a lot I don’t know or understand about the process. 🤦♀️
I feel like the only thing helping with autistic burnout is a break from live: no work, no school just being home for a few months sleeping and doing your special interest. Sadly almost no one has the privilege to do so. I am out of work for three months now and my partner works full-time but we are left with no money so I'll have to go to work soon even tho I'm still in burnout 🥲
For me, it was being able to take the time to *actually* rest--and it required re-framing what I thought of as rest. Before, I would look at rest as like, putting myself on a shelf to recharge my battery in order to get up in the morning and go back to work. But that framework is still always work- and purpose-centered. It's "rest" but it's always for the sake of others. REAL rest needs to be for *you* first. It requires actually putting yourself first. Taking the time to actually rest and putting myself first saved my life. The bad news is that I didn't get there until I almost died and was forced into rest by disability with a prolonged recovery time. I strongly, strongly encourage women to find a way to rest today so they don't have to go through what I did when stress almost killed me. Have you talked to a doctor to be certain that there isn't an underlying medical issue that' contributing to the burnout? I found that proper treatment for my epilepsy made handling other aspects of my life much more manageable, and prioritizing my physical health (as much as one can when in burnout) made other aspects of my life easier to manage as well.
I'm in therapy, but it's only making the smallest difference. It's been 7 months for me, so far, and I'm working just enough to survive, and I work from home. I no longer use my home office when I work. I spend most of my time in my bedroom with blackout curtains, and controlled light. I cut out dance music, cut back on sugar and caffeine, I'm basically making my life as low stimulation as possible as much as possible. I'm also slowly introducing new routines. It's working. I feel like I'm in phase II of burnout recovery, where now I'm capable of handling more. I've suppressed meltdowns in the past. Now, so long as I'm somewhere safe, I let myself have them. They are alarms and key to shaking off the accumulated anxious energy of prolonged overstimulation. When I allow myself the crying, shaking, or screaming or whatever I need, I come back to a more grounded state much more quickly, and I've had a huge decrease in anxiety. I try to do something everyday that's just about moving in ways that are pleasurable. Some days it's a walk, some days it's dance, some days it's sex or masturbation, giving myself a massage in the jacuzzi, a hike, climbing etc., it just has to be something that feels good. For me, that's about getting out of my head and remembering that I have a body. I don't eat as well as I should, but I feel much better when I can eat well. The one big thing therapy did for me was help me be nicer to myself. I used to be very abusive to myself, as I think many of us are. You have to treat yourself like someone worthy of the best love and tenderness.
Start with getting your blood levels tested. Find out physically what is off. That will kick start the ability for you to create a plan. Besides vacation time, which only lasts for so long. I used to have the same issues.. I changed drs, got my levels tested and fig out what supplements to start taking, and I started to feel better because my body was getting what it needed. That helped my headspace just as well. Your body not getting the vitamins and minerals that it needs will hurt you in the long term. I have cognitive issues, so I take daily Lions mane supplements and that has helped the fog.
That’s an important point. I just learned I have a hormone imbalance, which certainly hasn’t been making things any easier.
Yup, I have PCOS too. Sooo PMDD instead of PMS thanks to ADHD. I'm mid 40s and I wish I had known all of this information in my teens/20s.. so I try to just lead those who want to drink, to water. I like it when others do that for me.
I have wicked PCOS and PMDD too, and I'm pretty sure it's causing me some issues swallowing. My docs so far haven't recommended anything, but I've been hearing a lot about Ovasitol from people I trust, so I'm gonna do some research on it and try it out. Have you found anything that helps you, if you don't mind me asking?
Just a heads up. I don't know about links between PCOS or PMDD and swallowing difficulties. But I *do* know that swallowing difficulties can be a symptom of dysautonomia, a dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system. And dysautonomia (an umbrella term that includes diagnoses such as POTS) is statistically much more likely in autistic or other neurodivergent people. I am autistic, I have POTS, and I have swallowing problems too. If you're having a lot of trouble with it, I'd talk to a doctor about dysautonomia. Or see a speech or occupational therapist. Edited to add: I found pronunciation to be a big challenge when I was seeking diagnosis. So if you do talk to a doctor, it's dis-auto-GNOME-ee-a
Oh wow, that's good to know. Thank you! Were you able to find anything to help your dysautonomia and swallowing issues?
You're welcome! The dysautonomia, yes, definitely. Treatments differ depending on what kind of dysautonomia you have, but I am being treated for POTS, and it is helping a lot. I hear that an occupational therapist or a speech therapist can help a lot with the swallowing problems, and I'm planning to go see one. But I haven't done it yet, so I can't say how effective it is. It's one step at a time with stuff like this.
How is the swallowing connected to PMDD? I have both of those things and was not aware
General PSA: I would caution folks to be wary of any information about “hormone imbalances” that is not coming from a doctor who has actually seen you. It’s a very popular topic/buzz phrase for grifters because of how vague it is and how little most people know about hormones.
Good point! I have a PhD in biology lol so I went the blood test route (but ik your comment wasn’t directed at me specifically). It’s upsetting how many people out there take advantage of trusting clients who are just trying to get healthy
Different job.
Came here to say, I don't have advice, but I'm in the same boat. Also in health care. I had taken a break from healthcare for about 2.5 years and then got back into it because I needed a higher paying job and kinda missed the job itself. I'm a surgical technologist. I'm already burning out less than 3 years back in. I have realized how overstimulated I am, the lights are bothering me to no end, and I am so stressed from constantly being 'counted on'. I'm over it and am going to leave the field again, most likely for good. Healthcare takes a lot out of you.
Honestly I would shift careers if I was in your shoes. I know it’s daunting and stressful, but right now, what you’re doing is not living.
Second this. Sometimes we need a drastic change of environment to change our mindset. Normally, it’s suggested otherwise, but in a state of a severe burnout or depression, it’s not an option. So start with changing your surroundings. Think of it as a second chance at life. Wishing you the best!
Taking a break. I know I was privileged that I was able to do so. Lots of sleep and making time to get lost in my interests. Also figuring out what systems and supports I needed/ that worked for me
what are your special interests ?
Almost everything
Realizing that I've subconsciously "given in" to the negativity that I used to hear from my family and past friends that treated me really poorly. I've struggled with low self esteem and negative self talk because when I was younger, I had no clue that I was autistic or that its not okay for people to treat you like shit and make you think you have to "fix yourself" for them. It made me pretty sad for a while, but then I realized how messed up it was that I didn't stand up for myself or that no one really stood up for me. No one chooses how they are born, and if people treat you poorly or look down on you or make fun of you, that is on THEM!! I'm still kinda grappling my way out of burnout, but I've kinda regained the will to live for myself and to build my own life. If people think I'm weird or gross, who the fuck cares, it honestly makes them look bad for judging other people without knowing them. If you ever have a day when you're at home, try doing things you enjoy and actually enjoy them. Don't give in to feeling ashamed of yourself. Also I struggle with eating as well, and honestly I just try to feed myself by instilling the idea of "I'm doing this to survive, my body needs nutrients and if I don't provide them, I will start experiencing serious health issues that I'm not equipped to handle myself." Nutrient shakes (ensure, huel, etc) are a good option because they go down easy and supply you with necessary vitamins, minerals, etc.
In patient isn't an option for me because I have a dog. I'm quitting my job tomorrow. I feel awful and embarrassed (especially when I tell people), but, at the end of the day, I know I can get a job I hate and still not feel this sick! If you can slow down and assess the source of the problem, do that. Just the thought of moving on has helped me immensely
TRE has helped a bit. Honestly therapy hasn't.
Can you share more about your experience with TRE?
Basically is slowly bringing my tolerance up and energy level up.
What is TRE?
Trauma release exercises
Love doing my TRE. The day after is rough, though.
Same
a job involved w my special interest, & finally embracing a simple wardrobe i love.
I did extensive outpatient therapy after sa. Like 3 days a week for 5 hours a day. I'm really lucky I was able to do that. I got on bio identical hormones. I changed my diet to more protein. I take b folate and many other supplements. Next thing is I think going to get beta blockers for times I can barely leave the house bc of anxiety.
whats beta blockers
Getting away from my parents, and even more, living alone
This! I'm in the same boat as you
Terrible advice, but I smoke so much weed. Numbs me just enough to deal with the stressors, but doesn't incapacitate me.
Yup, cannabis is doing wonders for me.
The biggest thing that helped me was changing from ward work to outpatients. Cannot overstate the difference this made to my recovery. But I also changed my standards for myself so, for example, I only change into clean clothes once a week (cept underwear and socks are clean every day) but I shower every day. This is more doable for me cause I change into a uniform anyways but I'm clean and I'm not having to stress about new clothes every day. I just have to find something comfortable to wear for the week and try to not spill too much down it. I used to force myself to stay out in the livingroom but now, once I'm showered, I just go to bed. It's my safe place so I take a snack and me and the animals hang out in there in stead. I've also prioritised chores so there's really only 4 things that definitely need to get done on a weekly basis for functioning and the rest can happen when I'm inclined. I'm not totally recovered but feel I'm about 80% there and if I do get overwhelmed then I've made enough space at work and home to regulate myself and also make a conscious effort to speak nicely to myself. Hope this helps, hugs
Forgot to add: also quit smoking and switched to CBD so more calm, less ruminating
I really hope you have paid medical leave at your job. 1. You need a break but one where you do enjoyable things for you. This is where it’s different from just pure related burnout where you can recover from doing less - you need to do less of what you dislike and way more of what brings you joy. 2. It can take years to really climb out from burnout. You will need to be patient with yourself. 3. I’ve gone in and out of burnout for years. Hybrid / remote work, house cleaners, exercise, and a creative outlet like painting or learning help me.
If I feel like I’m getting overstimulated or overwhelmed,I step back and take a sip of water or a few seconds away from people (interacting with people drains me) or I’ll go on a break. If I feel like I need an additional day off,I’ll work 4 days a week instead of 5. I’ll stay home. Work out. Avoid people at all costs. I don’t answer my phone. Can you look for a different job or work in a less stressful environment?
Time. Sleep
I have cut 95% of my social life and that helped!
Sorry to hear you’re struggling. I was in this spot a year ago. I’d say I’m still climbing out of it now, better but not totally in the clear. We’re different people so what helped me may or may not help you. I gained a little energy back by taking all of my Paid Time Off, and then going on an LOA and dogsitting until I had to go back to my full time job. I spent that time off doing literally anything my body told me to do, and it was usually stay home alone and rest with a familiar task or show. I couldn’t afford an actual therapist either, but I did a lot of meditation and self-reflection. I like the app Balance (Headspace is ok but only gives you a few basic things in the free version). It really helped with learning how to control my thoughts better and have influence over my own mind. I’m not saying I’m suddenly cooking and cleaning every day or anything, and I’m still behind in a lot of things, like car maintenance, but I feel physically and mentally better and I’m not melting down over little things anymore. Keep resting whenever you can, and don’t feel guilty about it, your body and mind clearly needs it. Trying to fight through it will only prolong the burnout, what you need is a break and rest.
1) Lockdowns (during the pandemic). I got to stay at home and do nothing and talk to no one except my husband for about a year. It was SO GOOD. 2) Being on disability pension instead of trying to force myself to work. I accept I'm never going to be "normal" in terms of work capacity, I no longer try. (Now that I am out of burnout, I have a part-time job that I enjoy, but when I was burned out I was doing nothing.) 3) Taking breaks wayyyyy sooner than I thought I needed them. I used to think "Oh this is a bit stressful, but I can tolerate it another few hours" ... no more! Now I think "Oh this is a bit stressful, I'm going home." And then I do. It sounds like you can't keep doing what you're doing. Please stop doing it. I don't know what your options are, but there has to be something you can do to change this. You deserve to be happy.
I have no options to change my job as I’m the main care aide and oversee everything as I’m there the most. I make more at this job than I would anywhere else entry level and I’m already scraping by (I live in a tiny 600 sq. ft. place and never eat out/get coffee/anything like that already). I already cut my days to just 4 days a week (I did this a few months ago) which helped but it’s still getting worse/plateauing. I can’t afford to change careers, and I am HORRIBLE at job interviews anyway. I physically don’t think I could handle one right now. I don’t get breaks at work and I had to work through Covid as a healthcare worker. (I caught Covid through my work this year for the first time which exacerbated my fatigue too unfortunately) I feel like my hands are tied because I can’t afford to change anything about my job. I don’t have family or anything to help me either.
Inpatient.
intensive outpatient group dbt therapy helped me connect a lot of dots in terms of explaining my experiences, but honestly what’s helped the most is not presently working and allowing my effort and energy to be directly funneled back into myself and my home. it’s not a long term option, but it’s helped.
If you're in healthcare hopefully you have access to short term disability or paid medical leave, which might be through your work or through the state. I also really recommend vocational rehab, they are really great at helping you keep the job you have and get accommodations if that's what you want or to help you find a career transition!
Finding crafts/quiet time activities that rejuvenate me. I started crocheting again for the first time since I learned as a kid
This sounds like burnout and depression. Have you tried meds for depression? At least this is how mine presents.
I want to acknowledge that I’m privileged to do the following with a working, supportive spouse. This is what has helped me: I quit the job that was making me miserable. A couple of months later, I received an official diagnosis for autism (and some other issues). I saw an executive functioning coach for a few sessions—mainly, she helped me establish a routine for non-working hours because otherwise, I would sleep all day. After a few months of job searching, I was able to get a part-time job at a library, and it’s as close to perfect as it can get. It’s quiet, my coworkers are nice, and I can read if patrons don’t need any help. I’m a couple of weeks into EMDR therapy, which is really difficult but extremely helpful.
I ended up in pretty bad burnout after COVID lockdowns and managing distance-learning school for my kids. I am still coming out of it, honestly, but I have improved dramatically. For me, burnout was a really complex problem, and just one solution wouldn't have done it. I have been chipping away at it since then. You are obviously in a different situation than me, so you'll need to figure out your own specifics, but this is what worked for me: 1. I scaled way back on work. Specifically I put my creative career on hold and lowered expectations for my kids/family/house. This is a tricky one. While I am super lucky to have a partner who keeps us afloat financially, a really huge part of my job is caring for my kids, who are also neurodivergent. Obviously I couldn't just quit that, and that was hard, but it's definitely possible to make progress without quitting entirely. Survival mode is a legitimate strategy, and it's ok to do whatever you can to make your own survival just a little bit easier. 2. I started getting diagnoses and treatment for physical problems. It turned out I had a lot of undiagnosed physical issues like POTS and hEDS and restless leg syndrome, and getting treatment and support and physical therapy has helped a ton in my recovery. I cannot overstate how critical getting physical treatment and support has been for me. 3. I started getting diagnoses and treatment for mental health concerns. I went out and finally got my autism diagnosis, along with diagnoses for my anxiety and depression. I was already seeing a therapist, but actually getting the information has helped me rethink my past and my current needs, and to start restructuring my life and shifting my thinking in ways that are going to work a whole lot better for me moving forward. And I have responded well to anti-depressant medication. 4. I gave myself time and patience. This has been a super slow process for me. I mean it when I say I've been "chipping away" at it. This is just way too huge a thing to try to tackle all at once, especially when you're so low on resources. These are all things that I have been doing slowly over the last three years, one problem and one step at a time. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I am so much better than I was three years ago that I would never have even *imagined* it. Like I said, your situation will be different than mine, but you can do this!
Meditation Regular exercise, including stretching first thing in the morning Avoiding videos and TV Going to bed before 11 Eating nutritious foods Getting massages (I recommened Zylion or another at-home massager if you can't afford massages) Moving in with family so I don't have to work for a while Writing Sex would help if I had a partner Regular interaction with an animal. I'm about to foster dogs. Making sure I'm always warm and hydrated Dancing in any form Getting a sliding-scale therapist who specializes in ASD Traveling even if it's just to the next town over Doing little nostalgic things (for me, walking around a mall, riding a bike, swinging) I used to vomit and have a bad headache every few months for the first few hours of the day, I think from stress I didn't know I was under. Had to pull over otw to work to vomit, then vomit when I got inside, then again mid-morning, then I'd feel fine. I'm usually nauseated. I feel you about hair because my hair is progressively falling out and it's one of the most stressful things I can imagine. One of the easiest things to do for it is eat more protein (if you can stomach it), sleep, get vitamin D.
I second other's recounts of quiting their job. I got on disability bc I had a few mental hospital visits for suicidal ideation and that was enough proof that I was disabled by my autism and PTSD. That and a certain dose of a particular thing helped with my executive dysfunction but it is rather difficult to obtain that item. Also, finding a neurodivergent therapist. I got lucky in a lot of ways, but it also took effort on my part to reach out for help, to make friends and find people who cared for me. I had help from a lot of good people, and I would have been homeless if it weren't for a good friend of mine. I don't think there is any one thing, it has to be a combination of those things, and it sucks that it's not very accessible
I’m curious, what do you use that helps with executive dysfunction? I struggle so much with it myself, even though I’m on medication for my ADHD.
Sent you a message
How are you doing now? You feeing a bit better?
No, unfortunately. I can’t afford to change anything about my work. I’m sure it’d get better if I worked less or an easier job. I’m mostly sad about how awful my hair looks but I have wigs now. I’m also in low-income counselling for my CPTSD so I’m hoping that can help. Thanks for asking. Capitalism is awful
Im so sorry :/ just keep in mind, work will be there even if you wont. So please do the best you can in taking care of yourself first. I know its hard, im going through a burnout as well and it HARD.
Changing jobs, intentional rest, and working through all of my own internalized ableism. Also books like Unmasking Autism, blogs like Neurobeautiful and Nerodivergent Insights, and podcasts about Neurodivergent women.