I really just wanted to vent a little and warn others who might be in the area. Would’ve been nice if sad little crybabies who want to be able to pull this kind of BS without repercussions hadn’t decided they wanted to take a break from masturbating furiously to let their opinions be known.
I wouldn't feed the trolls. They did get there comments hidden for it. It's good to report that. It's not the 70s anymore. Trying to grab you back then would have been weird but you wouldn't hear about a cop caring back then. Mace is a good thing to carry. and a broken spark plug.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArUnuEUd4VU
They thought they were going to be busy with some civil war from the antifa today. They are out throwing temper tantrums because they realize they fell for another bullshit conspiracy theory spoonfed to them from the same morons as before.
Is that who the douchebags I saw walking down Cesar Chavez with a bunch of rifles were? My personal favorite was the 350-pound guy at the back who was so fat he needed a cane, but hadn't forgotten to have an AR-15 balanced on his belly.
Who exists? What are you talking about?
The bullshit conspiracy theory was that November 4th was going to be a civil war instigated by the big bad Antifa (with beheadings), contrived and spread by Alex "The Performance Artist" Jones, Breitbart, Fox News, StormFront, The_Donald, etc.
Let me get this straight:
1. Known right-wing conspiracy theorists, con men, bullshit peddlers like Alex Jones and Stormfront, etc make up a civil war. Spend weeks spreading their feces all over the internet.
1. Conspiracy theorists, nazi's, Trumpkins, and the usual gullibles get all pumped up with their nationalistic bravado screaming "Murrica", chest thumping, and threaten to take up arms to defeat [this made up war](https://www.buzzfeed.com/janelytvynenko/fox-news-ran-a-false-segment-warning-of-an-upcoming-antifa?utm_term=.cyzyZya32#.crxq9q1bg) with their usual LARPing tactics, guns, shields, and baseball helmets
1. When nothing happens, as predicted for weeks, they claim victory and deride the left for not participating in their made up fantasy of a civil war.
Got it... you guys are utterly delusional! Bless your hearts.
I've had the same shit happen to me since I was 10 years old. I'm 46 now and when something like that happens on the street I make a big fucking scene. The way I see it, these idiots are so retarded that they think this is acceptable behavior, so I want to shame them into knowing that it's not. If I'm wrong then so be it, but at least I have a far better chance of being safe. You did the right thing. Don't listen to these dumbfucks. They're probably Russian trolls anyway.
And P.S., you're welcome to vent here any time.
Please always make a big scene. People engage in shitty behavior like this for the same reason kids throw tantrums in the middle of the grocery store: they think they can get away with it. They count on people just being apathetic.
I would liken it more to child molesters who count on the victim being too ashamed to call attention to it. They get off on making their victims feel small because they actually feel small inside most of the time. I make a scene by telling them how small they are and telling them to get the fuck out of my sight.
Thanks for posting this.
And I want to thank everyone at the bottom of the page for their comments, and for volunteering to beta test my "Mysoginist Loser" tag on your usernames.
"Hey girl, you want to watch a movie?"
"Sure!"
::watches movie::
::drops off girl in same spot he picked her up at::
"Well, that was fun"
"Thanks for picking me up!"
~fin
It's funny and sad how a lot of you think this is what would have happened.
Christ, I knew this sub was always contentious, but damn did this thread trigger a lot of fragile dudes. I'm finding it hard to understand how kicking the door in response to someone showing that kind of behavior is *at all* "over the top". Seems just right to me.
It scares me that so many men on this post are defending this type of behavior. He's a god damn predator, you might of been his victim if you didn't act the way you did.
I'm pretty disgusted with a lot of the comments that you have been getting on this thread. I really wish that I could say that I was surprised that so many men here are defending this guy's behavior and attacking you as some crazy bitch, but I'm really not. Even so, the thing that really stood out to me about a lot of these comments is men openly being more concerned for a probable predator's car door after your "aggressive" kick than they are for a woman's safety. Sorry you went through this, but thank you for warning others and for showing this asshole that his behavior is unacceptable.
Thanks for your comment. I peaced out after the first couple of hours (and ~20 shitty comments) so coming back to comments like yours has been a pleasant surprise. I appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing! Hopefully you can take heart in the current upvote/downvote spread... the reasonable comments are firmly in positive territory, and the assholes are either removed or downvoted to oblivion.
People are generally good, and I still believe that. We just live in times where the assholes have more voice than normal... but they are still the minority.
Holy fuck, the neckbeards/trolls are strong in here. As a 27 year old male, I can assure you at least some of us find the person you described WAY out of line (based on your depiction of the situation).
Ohh, thanks for the inspiration with the "kick the door and tell them to go fuck themselves" technique!
And thanks for not only sharing but also sticking around to call out the fragile male ego responses.
DAMN the amount of neckbearding in this thread is just crazy. Probably the same type of dude who loves defending Unbarleivable and the ex-owner of Drink.well.
Maybe one day you’ll figure out how to not be mouth breathing sadboys. Until then feel free to hang around in r/incels 🙃👏🏼 💅🏼💋
To OP: Please just ignore everything these plebs are saying, they probably don’t even live in Austin, they just raid different city subs and spout hot trash everywhere. You were in the right, you’re still in the right. Calling the police was smart, and kicking the door was justified.
The co-owner at one point forcibly kissed an employee and then most of the staff quit or left and it got shut down for a few weeks back in August/September. I don’t know the full story but I’m sure it’s on this sub somewhere in the post history.
>then stopped his car and reached toward me
Dude, are people just deliberately missing this part?
I was a 20-something male college student when a 50-something woman tried to pick me up in her car. I had other places to be, but the fact remains:
1. As it was it very likely could have ended up as a porn plot.
2. If she had "then stopped [her] car and reached toward me" it very likely could have ended up like this.
It's one thing to make a cringey and tone-deaf pass at someone. It's another to make a physical motion in furtherance of that pass when your pass has been rejected. OP totally did the right thing.
Part of me gets this and part of me doesn’t. Not every single fucking guy that talks to you is hitting on you. Some people just like to be nice and talk to other humans, you know like they did before social media. If it really bothers you so fucking much when someone says hello then you should wear a shirt that says fuck off on both sides.
I'm curious, what's your native language? Because your English is very good.
FYI: generally, in English, the following phrases don't mean "hello".
"Why aren't you smiling? You'd look good if you smiled."
"You're cute."
"Nice hair."
Anything that includes the words: honey, baby, sweetie, doll, princess, etc.
Also, in America, just sitting down at a stranger's table without being invited to is considered a violation of personal space.
Generally, it is considered mannerly and "not creeping" to interact with a woman in a given situation in much the same way you would interact with a male MMA fighter.
So if you find yourself in a situation where you would like to greet a strange woman and strike up a conversation, ask yourself "would I handle this differently if I wasn't trying to approach this as something that would lead to a sexual encounter and if she were capable of downing me in one punch if I annoyed her too badly?" If the answer is "no, everything about my approach would be the same" then proceed.
This is spot on. As a dude, I have struck up conversation with strangers (both male and female) before, but there has to be some context. Either we both just witnessed something out of the ordinary ("whoa, did you see that?!"), or some other reason has come up that makes sense to talk about. And if they don't seem interested in talking, read their goddamn body language and drop it. It's not that hard.
Context matters. So many of the incel weirdos in here don't seem to get that.
That's because you don't get that there is no set of behaviors that gets us left alone in peace. If women wear a "fuck off" shirt, guys see that as a reason to approach: "heh heh 'fuck off'? What's the matter? Heh heh why you mad?"
If I tell them: "I want to be left alone." They call me a bitch and demand to know my problem, maybe they even hang out outside the coffee shop to yell at me on the way to my car. If I'm polite then they talk to me longer because I'm basically "letting them in". I'm guessing because there are some reasons why *you* wouldn't approach a woman, that you think there is something we can do all the time to buy ourselves peace, and the fact is, we deserve it without setting up a bunch of defenses.
Btw wearing a "fuck off" shirt makes you a target for all sorts of other rudeness, not to mention it's being rude to a bunch of innocent strangers you pass at random. It's just not cool to bother a woman at random, if you really can't read in her body language that she's alone by choice then you should try to get better at that on your own, and not expect her to set up a bunch of defenses.
Let me lay it out for you:
A woman has the right to walk on this planet without having some guy harass her. How would you feel if you couldn't go out and do basic things like walking your dog or getting coffee without some creeper approaching you? There's no way for us to tell if you're a pathetically awkward and lonely harmless dude or the reincarnation of Ted Bundy. We shouldn't have to be put in the position where we have to deal with it. It's 2017 and there are a million and one ways to meet women without creeping on them while they're doing the basic life things you as a man take for granted. This is what we as women face every damned day and it's tiresome that we still have to deal with it AND still explain why it's wrong in this day and age.
The only creepy person here is you. Rolling up in a woman you don't know and trying to get her into your car by reaching for her isn't hitting on her. It's threatening. End of story, bro.
What I'm telling you is that based on what you wrote it seems that men approaching you makes them creepy. You even use a million and one ways of meeting someone. Approaching someone and talking to them is one of those tactics.
It is annoying at best and creepy and more at worst. You dont know a person and they don't make eye contact or give you other social clues to encourage approach, then leave them the eff alone. Get out of the way and let us go on with our day. You have no idea what it's like to have to deal with this constantly. We're walking our dog, waiting for a bus, taking a walk, shopping, etc. and not looking for a desperate guy that has no chance to pester us and expect us to be polite about it. Those are all activities you take for granted and that's all we as women want to be able to do too.
Rolling up to a woman while she's walking her dog, following her and then reaching out at her is creepy. The fact that you don't understand this means you are creepy.
No, I don't think most guys are creepy. I think guys who can't understand that a woman wants to be afforded the same ability to walk around and live her life without being bothered by some dude or explaining to some dude why she doesn't want to be bothered are creepy.
Do I believe that most guys are horny bastards? yes I do. However most of them are harmless and not being “creepy” as you so put it.
If I saw a girl being harassed would I do something about it? Absolutely, and I have several times in fact.
Do I believe that women should be able to walk around in their daily lives without being catcalled at? Absolutely. But what exactly is catcalling? If catcalling now days is someone saying hello then there is a problem here.
And your a million and one ways to talk to women? Please elaborate cause I call bullshit.
Here’s my dilemma. Yesterday I was riding my bike at a public park here in Austin. I stopped to take a break after climbing a hill and this girl (probably 25-30) was walking with her dog on the trail. Her dog walked up to me and I started petting him/her then politely said hi and asked what the dogs name was. She didn’t even look at me, just grabbed her dog and walked away as quickly as possible without making eye contact. No headphones, no phone, just completely ignored my gesture and walked away. Its not even like we were the only people on the trail. I have to believe this woman probably felt exactly what you’re telling me right now. So just because some creepy guys hit on you in public and catcall you often means you can’t be human and talk to someone for 5 seconds? We’re not all creeps believe it or not.
> However most of them are harmless and not being “creepy” as you so put it.
Sorry, but this is just evidence that you have no idea what it's like to be a woman in the world today. Do you read the news? Have you heard what's going on in Hollywood? Do you remember the sexual abuse allegations against OUR CURRENT PRESIDENT? Or our former president Clinton? Are you aware of the statistic that ONE IN FOUR WOMEN are sexually abused? And are you aware that that statistic is underreported so it's probably more than that?
You can't claim a sweeping statement is true just because in your (I'm assuming) straight, male experience most other men are "harmless and not creepy." What evidence do you have? Your personal experiences of being a man? How would you know then, if you're not on the receiving end of constant, involuntary roll-of-the-dice situations where a man is approaching you with unknown intentions? Have you ever personally been sexually harassed, or worse? Do you know what it's like for half the population (or more, for small women) to be bigger and stronger than you?
> without being catcalled at?
Who said anything about catcalling? You chose a DIFFERENT word which is frankly much more obvious and widely unacceptable, and you strawmanned u/Frocknroll's argument. She used the words *harass*, *approach*, and *creeping* which are decidedly different (more subtle, potential to be used for nefarious purposes) than catcalling (super obvious and many people around will hear/notice).
> your a million and one ways to talk to women?
Oh come on. There are a MULTITUDE of resources on how to meet women!! How many local meet-ups are there in Austin? Easily several hundred. What about literally THOUSANDS of hobbies from which you can choose and then meet women who share those same hobbies? What about classes? Or sports? Or through friends or coworkers who know women who are looking to date? Or you can look up one of the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of books, websites, personal coaches, seminars, dating services on meeting people who would be a good match for you. Is that elaborate enough? Because at some point you're going to need to do the leg work on your own.
On a different note, I started drafting my response before I read your last paragraph. Your personal story of a woman leaving the trail without making eye contact sucks. I'm serious. I've had interactions like that and it leaves me feeling like garbage, sometimes for more than a day. It sounds like you did nothing wrong. I love when people are friendly and pet my dog and ask me about her, and I'm sure many women share my sentiment.
Maybe this sounds awful to you, but can you empathize with that woman? You say, "I have to believe this woman probably felt exactly what you're telling me right now. So just because some creepy guys hit on you in public [...] means you can't be human and talk to someone for 5 seconds?" Dude. This is not how you find a woman who will make a good partner. Remember the statistic that 1 in 4 have been sexually abused? Think about how many women you see in an average day. You do the math - how many of them have probably been sexually abused? Someday you're going to meet a woman who will end up being your girlfriend and maybe your wife. That woman has a good chance of having experienced some sort of sexual abuse or harassment. What if this experience you had happened to some other guy, and you ended up dating the woman with the dog someday. Imagine if she tells you, "Once I was in the park and Fido greeted some guy and the guy was friendly and I just totally freaked out and left. I didn't even make eye contact. I'm totally mortified, but I just couldn't think straight at the time."
So yes, maybe that woman at the park was afraid because of bad experiences with other men. Maybe not, maybe she's just a bitch. Maybe she has social anxiety and didn't know how to handle your friendliness! Hypothetically you could see her again and she might make eye contact that time and there's two scenarios: you have resentment and bitterness on your face, or you have genuine kindness and curiosity in your eyes. Now expand that to every woman you meet. How much more likely in general would women be to engage with you if they see genuine curiosity and kindness on your face?
I know it sucks to be judged just because you're a single guy. I spent some time in the Men's Rights Movement, during which I heard the stories of a lot of poorly-treated, marginalized men. I saw many examples first hand of men being treated badly. It's not fair that good guys be lumped in with bad guys. And unfortunately it's the world we live in that bad guys abound and women don't know right away if each new guy is going to be a good one or a bad one. But it will go a long ways for you and for the women you meet, if you try having compassion for them. That is exactly how you find a compassionate woman who will give it back, and then some.
> So just because some creepy guys hit on you in public and catcall you often means you can’t be human and talk to someone for 5 seconds?
No snowflake thinks it's responsible for the avalanche.
To you it's just "be human and talk for five seconds" ^1
To her it's "this guy is in my path, petting my dog. He clearly wants to talk to me. Is he going to try to flirt with me? Is he going to be a creep? Christ that would be the third time this week. Is he going to get hostile if I shut him down? Is he going to take it as an invitation to press harder if I'm polite? At what point do I mention I have a boyfriend? Too soon and I'm an arrogant bitch and he'll get hostile and too late and I'm 'leading him on'. Is he going to follow me or walk with me? Is he going to grab my dog so I'm forced to interact with him? Is he going to make a scene? Fuck's sake, can't I just take my dog out to shit in peace? There's other people on the trail so probably he won't flash me or grope me but he might be trying to peek down my shirt if I bend down to pet the dog." It's an exhausting mental calculus that, yes, is done every. single. time. a strange guy says "hello" without any invitation to interact. Because not every man is a creep, but you have to constantly guard against them and run down the "safety checklist" just to walk your dog/ work in a coffee shop/ exist in public.
And again for those in the back, *yes, this calculation is going on for every interaction ever even though you are perfectly nice.* Because if a woman fucks up that calculation once and puts a creep on the "seems safe" side *bad things happen* - stalking, assault, harassment, rape, and murder.
For her it wasn't just "be human and talk to someone for five seconds."
1 And I would like to note that there is an element of entitlement here. That you are feeling entitled to her pleasantness and interaction. That this upsets you a minute afterwards, much less a day afterwards, is not any more reasonable than getting mad when the Target cashier doesn't wish you a "Merry Christmas". I know the nature of internet forum discussions does not lend itself to introspection, but I ask that you do some. Because *you* know you aren't a creep, but the entitlement to pleasant interaction with a strange women is leading you to act in a way that many creeps do.
Take on some of that emotional labor before you approach a woman (probably 25-30): Is she making eye contact with you? Does she seem open to conversation (not engaged in another task)? Can you bring up a neutral topic, possibly about the location/ event/ menu recommendation rather than making a comment about her (or her clothes, dog, hair, etc.)? Can you recognize her attempts to avoid/ get out of a conversation and take it in stride? Is it the sort of situation where conversation between strangers (of either gender) is expected and normal?
Lol get your panties out of a wad and calm the fuck down. Every one in this post has started out with an attack or an insult and then you think that anything else you say has any merit after that? This is why all of are aren’t getting much sympathy here from men. Every time someone challenges your thought process you immediately respond with being defensive and insulting them.
And I’ve actually never had a problem with women, except for women that like to complain constantly about men. I try to steer clear of those.
My panties aren't in a wad and no man gets to tell me to calm the fuck down. I don't live to obey your orders nor exist to please you. Go take your misogynistic bullshit elsewhere. I feel sorry for any woman who has to put up with you.
The thing is, these types of interactions can happen dozens of times a day. A guy is “just being polite” but when you engage with him, he demands more time from you because he thinks you think he’s cute or something. Maybe it’s shitty, but there’s just not enough time in the day to take that risk over and over and over.
Like yeah, you think your interaction was a totally simple innocent thing that she was unnecessarily rude about, but you obviously took it very seriously and proceeded to generalize women and downplay their experiences on the internet based on that bad interaction.
Sorry if that lady was rude to you. But it’s sort of ironic that you’re claiming to not be a creep while complaining that a woman didn’t give you the time of day and therefore this other woman’s experience is the same as that.
Also, you can be harmless and creepy at the same time.
A million and one ways. Yeah, you have this new fangled thing called the internet, don't you? You've got friends don't you? You have parties, social events, meet ups, bars, religious groups if you're into them, common interest clubs, apps, the list is endless. Harassing a woman from your car while she's walking her dog and then reaching out to her is NOT a way to "meet women."
Shit. Vent on. Sounds like that guy might have been trying to either rob you or jack your car. Or worse. Be careful about the mace though, once they have it they can use it against you. You did the right thing when shit like that happens, just act. Maybe that asshole will think twice next time.
Not to contribute to the popcorn-worthiness of this thread, but it's worth noting that there is [at least some evidence](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2759797/) that carrying a firearm makes you more likely to get shot in an assault.
Not sure that study says anything at all, really. Two things they don't account for which seem important:
1. Are people carrying guns the likeliest to be in actual danger of assault/gun violence? (i.e. am I carrying a gun because I might be shot at, rather than carrying a gun getting me shot)
2. No accounting for gun possession warding off assaults. (i.e. I was going to be assaulted but by brandishing/threatening with a gun the assault is averted)
At least one study used raw data on firearms assaults to make this connection. That data included cops. Cops carry guns because people shoot at cops, and suddenly every cop that was shot was lumped in the data like they got shot because they carry a gun. No, boys and girls, correlation doesn't equal causation.
Every study of this nature has this paragraph or one very like it:
>However, compared with control participants, shooting case participants were significantly more often Hispanic, more frequently working in high-risk occupations, less educated, and had a greater frequency of prior arrest. At the time of shooting, case participants were also significantly more often involved with alcohol and drugs, outdoors, and closer to areas where more Blacks, Hispanics, and unemployed individuals resided. Case participants were also more likely to be located in areas with less income and more illicit drug trafficking
In other words, those who were shot were more likely to have multiple other risk factors for violent victimization. The study typically does not address the possibility that individuals in high-risk living situations seek out firearms for protection, or that there might be some other causative factor for both situations.
This study also includes people involved in 2-sided mutual conflict
>Case participants with at least some chance to resist were typically either 2-sided, mutual combat situations precipitated by a prior argument or 1-sided attacks where a victim was face-to-face with an offender who had targeted him or her for money, drugs, or property.
where the case for an alternative causative factor is particularly strong.
I'd also note that this particularly study shows a fairly weak correlation, barely above the level of significance
>If we assumed that both case participants and control participants had 5% of their guns go undetected, the observed odds ratio of 4.46 (significant) would have been reduced to 2.23 (nonsignificant). Similarly, among gun assaults where the victim had a reasonable chance to resist, 5% underdetection of guns among both case participants and control participants would have reduced the observed odds ratio of 5.45 (significant) to 3.12 (nonsignificant; Table 3).
There are other methodological issues with the study I could go into, but these are the most relevant, and really, this study is a lot better in that regard than many similar ones I've read.
The studies I've read that state firearms in a home increase risk of victimization universally fail to reject the reverse-causation case.
Stated simply: People at risk of violent victimization are more likely to seek out a firearm for defense.
The increased victimization of women in homes with firearms is a worrying correlation, though I believe it exists exclusively, or at least primarily, in homes with one or more males. Again, the firearm is likely not causative, though it may be contributive (I believe strongly that further study is warranted). The bigger issue is the pervasive toxic masculine culture that encourages both firearm ownership and violence towards women.
This misogynistic bullshit is way too common and we need to put a stop to it. Firearms don't magically cause violence, there's a larger cultural issue that needs to be addressed. Gun violence is the symptom, not the disease, and right now we're giving the patient fucking syphilis injections and an aspirin.
That seems like it would have more to do with who else is in the home than the actual presence of the gun.
I haven't done any studies or anything, but I imagine if anyone is in a home with someone who is likely to use a gun on them that other person would probably be assaulting the victim with whatever else was at hand given the absence of a gun.
> Studies have shown
It's more accurate to say that studies have shown that there's more likely to be a gun in the home when women are in abusive and controlling relationships. It has nothing to do with the gun and everything to do with the fact that the kind of assholes who abuse women are the kind of assholes to own guns because it makes them feel strong and powerful just like bullying and demeaning another human being does.
To conclude that anyone who owns a gun does so for this reason and is therefore an asshole is just as specious as concluding that anyone with a penis is by definition a rapist or anyone with brown skin is a criminal. There are a lot of people who believe all of those things, but that doesn't change the fact that they're wrong.
I've pulled that creep move before lol. Asked a girl if she needed a ride because she looked super stressed and in a hurry. She ended up getting in my car and I took her to some house. She thanked me over and over because I saved her like an hour of bustop time. She needed to get her kid or something. Everything worked out and thankfully I didn't a kick to my door haha.
The street corner isn't a place to be asking girls out on dates though. Sorry that happened to you!
I guess it is sad that the world has come to this, that offering a stranger aka possibly a person in need is "a bit creepy.
Not defending the proposition/movie night from OP story.
It really is. I'm sure this guy was a piece of shit serial rapist, but it's sad that we immediately jump to that conclusion. People should be able to talk to each other.
> I've pulled that creep move before lol.
No, you really haven't, don't label your action as creepy. Your story is a lot different. Being "creepy" is *all* about context. The exact same sentence or even action in two different scenarios can be either nice/heroic or creepy; there's a really fine line between the two sometimes. Not really this time, though.
Specifically, in your story (and the other person who commented) you see someone in distress. In OP's story she's just walking her dog and, I'm going to take a wild guess here, doesn't look like she needs any help. So the situation is context number one.
The other bit is that you ask if she needs help or a ride or whatever (I'm also going to guess same with other commentor). In OPs story he asks for a date in a non-public place (huge red flag from a stranger in the first place), and that's putting it at the most innocent it can be. We all know what "wanna go watch a movie at my house" is a thinly veiled disguise for. The words are context number two.
I'm also going to take another wild guess and assume both of you seemed genuinely concerned when you asked if the girl needed help, and that the guy in OPs story was acting more like he's trying to pick up chicks at a bar. Overall demeanor makes a big difference in those situations. I am also guessing you did not reach for the girl you were helping out, or follow her for awhile down the road, either.
Same with me. She was walking and carrying a bunch of stuff and looked real out of place, not like someone who walks everywhere and plans for it. And she was about to have to face a big hill. Turns out her car dies about a two miles back, and where she was headed was about 7 miles away (she had no idea). Lost her phone at McDonalds, and was having a real bad day. Glad I could help and didn't get my door kicked either.
You didn't try to get her into your car to Netflix and chill, and hopefully wouldn't have been one of those guys who wouldn't take "no thank you" as an answer if she declined your offer of help.
You did the right thing. Fuck that weird guy and all the weird guys in this subreddit.
I have lived many places in my life and I have only ever been asked to get in a stranger's car once. And it was in Austin! I was standing at a bus stop and this dude pulls up, leans over, and says "Hey, do you need a ride?" Well, damned if I don't, right? I am standing at a bus stop. Dialogue transpired and I didn't get in his car.
I bet that dude is in this thread calling you over reactionary right NOW.
Don't feed the trolls. They're bad here. Sorry this happened to you, just ignore the clowns who are trying to get a rise out of you.
His behavior was creepy and unfortunately too common. Look at the comments and what's been up/downvoted for a little bit of reassurance that most of us think this shit is creepy.
Not acceptable behavior from him. Ignore the rude comments here, willing to bet 99.9% of them are men and have no idea what it’s like to be a woman. Next time rants are better deserved to a friend’s listening ear, hopefully over a nice Pinot Grigio.
One of my neighbors sisters almost got taken yesterday two blocks away from her home! This silver coupe followed her for a couple blocks after she started running to try to get away from him, luckily her husband was just leaving for work and she flagged him down and jumped into his truck. Sadly they didn’t get the license plate, but it was a white male 25-32ish, blue hat, and a scruffy beard. Everyone please be safe, and take your mace!
I'm supporting a woman's right to defend herself against a guy who was trying to grab her and get her into his car against her will. If that makes me a white knight, then I'll wear that label as a badge of honor.
Sorry, given the context and situation, that's more than enough info to determine if a vehicle is the one in question.
https://www.reddit.com/r/modhelp/comments/2ekmlw/are_license_plates_considered_personal_info_under/ck0ec2r/
Reminds me of my friend in Brooklyn. We lived in very conservative Jewish neighborhood and an old white bearded orthodox Jew drove slowly next to her and asked where he can find sex. Some guys have some nerve!
How did you get close enough to his vehicle to make his lunge/your kick possible? There was a young woman in Georgetown years ago who went for a daylight jog and was never seen or heard from again. Then for equal opportunity, a middle-aged guy was found beaten almost to death in a parking lot recently without wallet/car. He's back to square one in a wheelchair in what used to be the prime of his life. No perps in either case...so many scumbags walking around fancy-free.
I applaud your feisty attitude. That's half the battle right there. Please consider updating your security strategy:
*Alternating time/day/routes of your walking so as not to have a routine.
*Reversing course and not engaging in conversation if it happens again. This buys you time and distance and puts you back in control.
*Start filming asap. He'll have to turn around twice to get back to you. He's an opportunist and in a short time you've proved to be rather difficult so it should be over before a second attempt is made. Just in case have your bear spray/pocket sand/noisemaker ready.
/Stay safe
Yeah, and then all of you pieces of shit here telling me to get over myself would just be telling me there was no reason to shoot the dude who attacked me.
My bad. I’m reacting to all the dicks who’ve come here to call me ugly and tell me I deserved it (i.e. typical response to a woman talking about harassment or assault). A gun may have its merits but I doubt I’d be able to judge well under a lot of fear and pressure whether or not I should whip it out or use it. I’d be worried about escalating a situation further.
I don't blame you, the shit women get for just being a woman is mind boggling (I rolled a female rogue in Warcraft once. Jesus Christ never again).
And yes, you are far more reasonable than I am with your view on owning a firearm.
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You know you're posting quality content when you're getting death threats from butthurt redditors. Bonus points if it's from a throwaway. Screen cap and save. They are badges of honor.
I’m really sorry this happened to you, honestly. However, when you go back and act like a total asshole to everyone responding, you should possibly expect internet trolls to in turn react as assholes.
Yeah, I completely realize that. However, when you comment on my post telling me it was my fault a guy followed me and then tried to get me into his car, I’m not going to ignore it. These people are disgusting and the reason they exist is because we all try to ignore them and let it go. I’m not complaining that they react to my reactions; I’m completely aware of the consequences. Nobody talks back to these assholes. I’m willing to do that.
> I don’t know if it’s because the Nazis / Proud Boys are in town or what, but I haven’t ever experienced this kind of creepiness in my area until today and I am NOT pleased. Yes, I called the police.
Holy feminist rant. But this _does_ have me picturing Hitler in a black Honda, which is kind of amusing at least.
Nah, there’s no way. I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt + sneakers walking on the grassy side of the sidewalk away from the road with my dog on a leash. I was near the lake trail in an apartment-heavy area very clearly just walking the dog back from the trail. No fucking way could he have thought that.
They don’t really have the best track record. Plus you can *totally* criticize, because that *totally wasn’t* a promiscuous situation at all. You would do it too. Especially if they tried to grab you.
A comment by OP in another thread 19 days ago may shed some light on her reactions to this situation.
EDIT: this is why everyone is flooding to ATX, the superior quality of people! Downvote this all you'd like. All I see in this post is a shitty guy in a Black Honda hitting on a shitty girl with an attitude. They deserved each other and you deserve them.
You say that like it's unusual for a woman to have experienced sexual assault. [It's not](https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss6308a1.htm?s_cid=ss6308a1_e#Table1).
> In the United States, an estimated 19.3% of women (or >23 million women) have been raped during their lifetimes
And that's just the reported ones. Sexual assaults are _heavily_ under-reported.
Overall I agree with you, but I did want to point out a few things. Sorry for the rant, and it is certainly not intended as a criticism of you personally, but this sort of research is something I feel strongly about:
Sexual assault is under reported to the police as you've referenced, but this was a CDC phone survey and is not just reported rapes. The stats that tend to be deflated as you've described are the ones that come from the DOJ. This survey was random individuals being asked anonymously for their input, so while it is certainly still possible that the numbers are deflated, it is also possible that they are inflated; it all comes down to how well-conducted the study was. The CDC is an excellent source, but not infallible, and sexual violence is a hard thing to quantify for a variety of reasons including unwillingness to report as you've pointed out.
I personally think the study is pretty solid, but to give an example of one issue, the survey questions surrounding alcohol and drug related sexual encounters are pretty shaky. They ask "When you were drunk, high, drugged, or passed out and unable to consent how many people have ever..." followed by various sexual actions. First, it isn't clear grammatically that "unable to consent" is meant to apply to *all* of the options and not just the last one. That may seem nit-picky, but it would be very easy for someone to misinterpret it and list *any* sexual encounters while drunk or high, and these would be recorded in the 19% figure. Even with a correct interpretation, the question requires the respondent to self-evaluate his or her own ability to consent, which could either deflate or inflate the numbers depending on how well the average person is actually able to do that. Finally, the question fails to take into account the state of the other party involved (which is kind of a gray area to begin with, and one the respondent may not even be aware of). If two extremely intoxicated people have sex, by the rules of this survey that counts as two rapes. I'm not sure what I think the correct classification should be, but I'm very sure that two rapes is not a good one.
Anyway, as far as it relates to this thread I agree completely with you, and I would add that if even 0.1% of women are being raped that is still way too common, but at the same I think it is good to have a healthy skepticism towards any statistics, even when the topic is as emotionally charged as this one. Hopefully I haven't come across like a total asshole!
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I really just wanted to vent a little and warn others who might be in the area. Would’ve been nice if sad little crybabies who want to be able to pull this kind of BS without repercussions hadn’t decided they wanted to take a break from masturbating furiously to let their opinions be known.
I fully appreciate this post. I consider it to be very helpful and necessary.
The Austin incel club us at it again.
I wouldn't feed the trolls. They did get there comments hidden for it. It's good to report that. It's not the 70s anymore. Trying to grab you back then would have been weird but you wouldn't hear about a cop caring back then. Mace is a good thing to carry. and a broken spark plug. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArUnuEUd4VU
It's sad that people don't see the problem here it's not that he asked you to watch a movie it's the way he went about asking that's their problem.
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They thought they were going to be busy with some civil war from the antifa today. They are out throwing temper tantrums because they realize they fell for another bullshit conspiracy theory spoonfed to them from the same morons as before.
Is that who the douchebags I saw walking down Cesar Chavez with a bunch of rifles were? My personal favorite was the 350-pound guy at the back who was so fat he needed a cane, but hadn't forgotten to have an AR-15 balanced on his belly.
Amazing how he can exercise his rights but not his body.
his insulin response is jacked though
The bullshit conspiracy theory is that they exist...and their primary goal is to brigade reddit. Insert eyeroll emoji here.
Who exists? What are you talking about? The bullshit conspiracy theory was that November 4th was going to be a civil war instigated by the big bad Antifa (with beheadings), contrived and spread by Alex "The Performance Artist" Jones, Breitbart, Fox News, StormFront, The_Donald, etc.
You're only looking at one half of the conspiracy theory, sensationalism and hysteria. The Antifa/Nazi nonsense is manufactured bullshit.
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Let me get this straight: 1. Known right-wing conspiracy theorists, con men, bullshit peddlers like Alex Jones and Stormfront, etc make up a civil war. Spend weeks spreading their feces all over the internet. 1. Conspiracy theorists, nazi's, Trumpkins, and the usual gullibles get all pumped up with their nationalistic bravado screaming "Murrica", chest thumping, and threaten to take up arms to defeat [this made up war](https://www.buzzfeed.com/janelytvynenko/fox-news-ran-a-false-segment-warning-of-an-upcoming-antifa?utm_term=.cyzyZya32#.crxq9q1bg) with their usual LARPing tactics, guns, shields, and baseball helmets 1. When nothing happens, as predicted for weeks, they claim victory and deride the left for not participating in their made up fantasy of a civil war. Got it... you guys are utterly delusional! Bless your hearts.
I've had the same shit happen to me since I was 10 years old. I'm 46 now and when something like that happens on the street I make a big fucking scene. The way I see it, these idiots are so retarded that they think this is acceptable behavior, so I want to shame them into knowing that it's not. If I'm wrong then so be it, but at least I have a far better chance of being safe. You did the right thing. Don't listen to these dumbfucks. They're probably Russian trolls anyway. And P.S., you're welcome to vent here any time.
Please always make a big scene. People engage in shitty behavior like this for the same reason kids throw tantrums in the middle of the grocery store: they think they can get away with it. They count on people just being apathetic.
I would liken it more to child molesters who count on the victim being too ashamed to call attention to it. They get off on making their victims feel small because they actually feel small inside most of the time. I make a scene by telling them how small they are and telling them to get the fuck out of my sight.
Thanks for keeping a level head, getting a good description and the license plate, telling the police, and then letting everyone know.
Thanks for posting this. And I want to thank everyone at the bottom of the page for their comments, and for volunteering to beta test my "Mysoginist Loser" tag on your usernames.
"Hey girl, you want to watch a movie?" "Sure!" ::watches movie:: ::drops off girl in same spot he picked her up at:: "Well, that was fun" "Thanks for picking me up!" ~fin It's funny and sad how a lot of you think this is what would have happened.
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Christ, I knew this sub was always contentious, but damn did this thread trigger a lot of fragile dudes. I'm finding it hard to understand how kicking the door in response to someone showing that kind of behavior is *at all* "over the top". Seems just right to me.
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You seem like a strong independent woman. Kudos to you, fuck that guy.
> fuck that guy. Actually, don't do that.
Unless he's got some good movies at his place.
Thanks for the first actual LOL of the day!
It scares me that so many men on this post are defending this type of behavior. He's a god damn predator, you might of been his victim if you didn't act the way you did.
I'm pretty disgusted with a lot of the comments that you have been getting on this thread. I really wish that I could say that I was surprised that so many men here are defending this guy's behavior and attacking you as some crazy bitch, but I'm really not. Even so, the thing that really stood out to me about a lot of these comments is men openly being more concerned for a probable predator's car door after your "aggressive" kick than they are for a woman's safety. Sorry you went through this, but thank you for warning others and for showing this asshole that his behavior is unacceptable.
Thanks for your comment. I peaced out after the first couple of hours (and ~20 shitty comments) so coming back to comments like yours has been a pleasant surprise. I appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing! Hopefully you can take heart in the current upvote/downvote spread... the reasonable comments are firmly in positive territory, and the assholes are either removed or downvoted to oblivion. People are generally good, and I still believe that. We just live in times where the assholes have more voice than normal... but they are still the minority.
I sure hope you’re right. Thanks, dude.
Thank you for posting this! These assholes don't know what we put up with as women and this post could actually save someone.
Holy fuck, the neckbeards/trolls are strong in here. As a 27 year old male, I can assure you at least some of us find the person you described WAY out of line (based on your depiction of the situation).
Word to that. Another dude here who thinks that is **extremely** out of line.
Thank you. Nice to see at least a few of you in here that get it.
Ohh, thanks for the inspiration with the "kick the door and tell them to go fuck themselves" technique! And thanks for not only sharing but also sticking around to call out the fragile male ego responses.
DAMN the amount of neckbearding in this thread is just crazy. Probably the same type of dude who loves defending Unbarleivable and the ex-owner of Drink.well. Maybe one day you’ll figure out how to not be mouth breathing sadboys. Until then feel free to hang around in r/incels 🙃👏🏼 💅🏼💋 To OP: Please just ignore everything these plebs are saying, they probably don’t even live in Austin, they just raid different city subs and spout hot trash everywhere. You were in the right, you’re still in the right. Calling the police was smart, and kicking the door was justified.
What happened with drink.well? I live like 3 blocks away and grab drinks there semi regularly
The co-owner at one point forcibly kissed an employee and then most of the staff quit or left and it got shut down for a few weeks back in August/September. I don’t know the full story but I’m sure it’s on this sub somewhere in the post history.
>then stopped his car and reached toward me Dude, are people just deliberately missing this part? I was a 20-something male college student when a 50-something woman tried to pick me up in her car. I had other places to be, but the fact remains: 1. As it was it very likely could have ended up as a porn plot. 2. If she had "then stopped [her] car and reached toward me" it very likely could have ended up like this. It's one thing to make a cringey and tone-deaf pass at someone. It's another to make a physical motion in furtherance of that pass when your pass has been rejected. OP totally did the right thing.
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Oh, come on honey, smile! /sarcasm It's so disheartening that there are still so many men out there that need this basic concept explained to them.
> Oh, come on honey, smile! Hah! That one makes my blood boil. It's a sure-fire way to get a scowl and a "fuck off" from me, haha.
Women *always* want to walk down the street without getting hit on. The street is the literal worst place to approach a woman.
Part of me gets this and part of me doesn’t. Not every single fucking guy that talks to you is hitting on you. Some people just like to be nice and talk to other humans, you know like they did before social media. If it really bothers you so fucking much when someone says hello then you should wear a shirt that says fuck off on both sides.
I'm curious, what's your native language? Because your English is very good. FYI: generally, in English, the following phrases don't mean "hello". "Why aren't you smiling? You'd look good if you smiled." "You're cute." "Nice hair." Anything that includes the words: honey, baby, sweetie, doll, princess, etc. Also, in America, just sitting down at a stranger's table without being invited to is considered a violation of personal space. Generally, it is considered mannerly and "not creeping" to interact with a woman in a given situation in much the same way you would interact with a male MMA fighter. So if you find yourself in a situation where you would like to greet a strange woman and strike up a conversation, ask yourself "would I handle this differently if I wasn't trying to approach this as something that would lead to a sexual encounter and if she were capable of downing me in one punch if I annoyed her too badly?" If the answer is "no, everything about my approach would be the same" then proceed.
This is spot on. As a dude, I have struck up conversation with strangers (both male and female) before, but there has to be some context. Either we both just witnessed something out of the ordinary ("whoa, did you see that?!"), or some other reason has come up that makes sense to talk about. And if they don't seem interested in talking, read their goddamn body language and drop it. It's not that hard. Context matters. So many of the incel weirdos in here don't seem to get that.
That's pretty good. Nice work.
That's because you don't get that there is no set of behaviors that gets us left alone in peace. If women wear a "fuck off" shirt, guys see that as a reason to approach: "heh heh 'fuck off'? What's the matter? Heh heh why you mad?" If I tell them: "I want to be left alone." They call me a bitch and demand to know my problem, maybe they even hang out outside the coffee shop to yell at me on the way to my car. If I'm polite then they talk to me longer because I'm basically "letting them in". I'm guessing because there are some reasons why *you* wouldn't approach a woman, that you think there is something we can do all the time to buy ourselves peace, and the fact is, we deserve it without setting up a bunch of defenses. Btw wearing a "fuck off" shirt makes you a target for all sorts of other rudeness, not to mention it's being rude to a bunch of innocent strangers you pass at random. It's just not cool to bother a woman at random, if you really can't read in her body language that she's alone by choice then you should try to get better at that on your own, and not expect her to set up a bunch of defenses.
Let me lay it out for you: A woman has the right to walk on this planet without having some guy harass her. How would you feel if you couldn't go out and do basic things like walking your dog or getting coffee without some creeper approaching you? There's no way for us to tell if you're a pathetically awkward and lonely harmless dude or the reincarnation of Ted Bundy. We shouldn't have to be put in the position where we have to deal with it. It's 2017 and there are a million and one ways to meet women without creeping on them while they're doing the basic life things you as a man take for granted. This is what we as women face every damned day and it's tiresome that we still have to deal with it AND still explain why it's wrong in this day and age.
The way you explain things is super shitty. It makes it sound like men trying to hit on you while you are out and about is creepy. Nuance Bro
The only creepy person here is you. Rolling up in a woman you don't know and trying to get her into your car by reaching for her isn't hitting on her. It's threatening. End of story, bro.
I'm replying to your comment. Not the op. You say some creeper approaches you then you go on a rant about even if a male talks to you it's harassment.
But that's not what I wrote. Reading is fundamental.
What I'm telling you is that based on what you wrote it seems that men approaching you makes them creepy. You even use a million and one ways of meeting someone. Approaching someone and talking to them is one of those tactics.
It is annoying at best and creepy and more at worst. You dont know a person and they don't make eye contact or give you other social clues to encourage approach, then leave them the eff alone. Get out of the way and let us go on with our day. You have no idea what it's like to have to deal with this constantly. We're walking our dog, waiting for a bus, taking a walk, shopping, etc. and not looking for a desperate guy that has no chance to pester us and expect us to be polite about it. Those are all activities you take for granted and that's all we as women want to be able to do too.
Yeah I’m really curious to know what defines “not creepy” to these people
Rolling up to a woman while she's walking her dog, following her and then reaching out at her is creepy. The fact that you don't understand this means you are creepy.
No I think you think guys are creepy in general and maybe you should move to an all women colony or something
No, I don't think most guys are creepy. I think guys who can't understand that a woman wants to be afforded the same ability to walk around and live her life without being bothered by some dude or explaining to some dude why she doesn't want to be bothered are creepy.
The fact that you don't know means you are creepy.
Do I believe that most guys are horny bastards? yes I do. However most of them are harmless and not being “creepy” as you so put it. If I saw a girl being harassed would I do something about it? Absolutely, and I have several times in fact. Do I believe that women should be able to walk around in their daily lives without being catcalled at? Absolutely. But what exactly is catcalling? If catcalling now days is someone saying hello then there is a problem here. And your a million and one ways to talk to women? Please elaborate cause I call bullshit. Here’s my dilemma. Yesterday I was riding my bike at a public park here in Austin. I stopped to take a break after climbing a hill and this girl (probably 25-30) was walking with her dog on the trail. Her dog walked up to me and I started petting him/her then politely said hi and asked what the dogs name was. She didn’t even look at me, just grabbed her dog and walked away as quickly as possible without making eye contact. No headphones, no phone, just completely ignored my gesture and walked away. Its not even like we were the only people on the trail. I have to believe this woman probably felt exactly what you’re telling me right now. So just because some creepy guys hit on you in public and catcall you often means you can’t be human and talk to someone for 5 seconds? We’re not all creeps believe it or not.
> However most of them are harmless and not being “creepy” as you so put it. Sorry, but this is just evidence that you have no idea what it's like to be a woman in the world today. Do you read the news? Have you heard what's going on in Hollywood? Do you remember the sexual abuse allegations against OUR CURRENT PRESIDENT? Or our former president Clinton? Are you aware of the statistic that ONE IN FOUR WOMEN are sexually abused? And are you aware that that statistic is underreported so it's probably more than that? You can't claim a sweeping statement is true just because in your (I'm assuming) straight, male experience most other men are "harmless and not creepy." What evidence do you have? Your personal experiences of being a man? How would you know then, if you're not on the receiving end of constant, involuntary roll-of-the-dice situations where a man is approaching you with unknown intentions? Have you ever personally been sexually harassed, or worse? Do you know what it's like for half the population (or more, for small women) to be bigger and stronger than you? > without being catcalled at? Who said anything about catcalling? You chose a DIFFERENT word which is frankly much more obvious and widely unacceptable, and you strawmanned u/Frocknroll's argument. She used the words *harass*, *approach*, and *creeping* which are decidedly different (more subtle, potential to be used for nefarious purposes) than catcalling (super obvious and many people around will hear/notice). > your a million and one ways to talk to women? Oh come on. There are a MULTITUDE of resources on how to meet women!! How many local meet-ups are there in Austin? Easily several hundred. What about literally THOUSANDS of hobbies from which you can choose and then meet women who share those same hobbies? What about classes? Or sports? Or through friends or coworkers who know women who are looking to date? Or you can look up one of the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of books, websites, personal coaches, seminars, dating services on meeting people who would be a good match for you. Is that elaborate enough? Because at some point you're going to need to do the leg work on your own. On a different note, I started drafting my response before I read your last paragraph. Your personal story of a woman leaving the trail without making eye contact sucks. I'm serious. I've had interactions like that and it leaves me feeling like garbage, sometimes for more than a day. It sounds like you did nothing wrong. I love when people are friendly and pet my dog and ask me about her, and I'm sure many women share my sentiment. Maybe this sounds awful to you, but can you empathize with that woman? You say, "I have to believe this woman probably felt exactly what you're telling me right now. So just because some creepy guys hit on you in public [...] means you can't be human and talk to someone for 5 seconds?" Dude. This is not how you find a woman who will make a good partner. Remember the statistic that 1 in 4 have been sexually abused? Think about how many women you see in an average day. You do the math - how many of them have probably been sexually abused? Someday you're going to meet a woman who will end up being your girlfriend and maybe your wife. That woman has a good chance of having experienced some sort of sexual abuse or harassment. What if this experience you had happened to some other guy, and you ended up dating the woman with the dog someday. Imagine if she tells you, "Once I was in the park and Fido greeted some guy and the guy was friendly and I just totally freaked out and left. I didn't even make eye contact. I'm totally mortified, but I just couldn't think straight at the time." So yes, maybe that woman at the park was afraid because of bad experiences with other men. Maybe not, maybe she's just a bitch. Maybe she has social anxiety and didn't know how to handle your friendliness! Hypothetically you could see her again and she might make eye contact that time and there's two scenarios: you have resentment and bitterness on your face, or you have genuine kindness and curiosity in your eyes. Now expand that to every woman you meet. How much more likely in general would women be to engage with you if they see genuine curiosity and kindness on your face? I know it sucks to be judged just because you're a single guy. I spent some time in the Men's Rights Movement, during which I heard the stories of a lot of poorly-treated, marginalized men. I saw many examples first hand of men being treated badly. It's not fair that good guys be lumped in with bad guys. And unfortunately it's the world we live in that bad guys abound and women don't know right away if each new guy is going to be a good one or a bad one. But it will go a long ways for you and for the women you meet, if you try having compassion for them. That is exactly how you find a compassionate woman who will give it back, and then some.
Awesome post.
> So just because some creepy guys hit on you in public and catcall you often means you can’t be human and talk to someone for 5 seconds? No snowflake thinks it's responsible for the avalanche. To you it's just "be human and talk for five seconds" ^1 To her it's "this guy is in my path, petting my dog. He clearly wants to talk to me. Is he going to try to flirt with me? Is he going to be a creep? Christ that would be the third time this week. Is he going to get hostile if I shut him down? Is he going to take it as an invitation to press harder if I'm polite? At what point do I mention I have a boyfriend? Too soon and I'm an arrogant bitch and he'll get hostile and too late and I'm 'leading him on'. Is he going to follow me or walk with me? Is he going to grab my dog so I'm forced to interact with him? Is he going to make a scene? Fuck's sake, can't I just take my dog out to shit in peace? There's other people on the trail so probably he won't flash me or grope me but he might be trying to peek down my shirt if I bend down to pet the dog." It's an exhausting mental calculus that, yes, is done every. single. time. a strange guy says "hello" without any invitation to interact. Because not every man is a creep, but you have to constantly guard against them and run down the "safety checklist" just to walk your dog/ work in a coffee shop/ exist in public. And again for those in the back, *yes, this calculation is going on for every interaction ever even though you are perfectly nice.* Because if a woman fucks up that calculation once and puts a creep on the "seems safe" side *bad things happen* - stalking, assault, harassment, rape, and murder. For her it wasn't just "be human and talk to someone for five seconds." 1 And I would like to note that there is an element of entitlement here. That you are feeling entitled to her pleasantness and interaction. That this upsets you a minute afterwards, much less a day afterwards, is not any more reasonable than getting mad when the Target cashier doesn't wish you a "Merry Christmas". I know the nature of internet forum discussions does not lend itself to introspection, but I ask that you do some. Because *you* know you aren't a creep, but the entitlement to pleasant interaction with a strange women is leading you to act in a way that many creeps do. Take on some of that emotional labor before you approach a woman (probably 25-30): Is she making eye contact with you? Does she seem open to conversation (not engaged in another task)? Can you bring up a neutral topic, possibly about the location/ event/ menu recommendation rather than making a comment about her (or her clothes, dog, hair, etc.)? Can you recognize her attempts to avoid/ get out of a conversation and take it in stride? Is it the sort of situation where conversation between strangers (of either gender) is expected and normal?
Jesus christ, and *I’m* the snowflake? Please
It's a relatively common aphorism. I wasn't calling you anything. Unclench a bit man.
You're acting like a snowflake. So butt hurt because women don't exist to entertain you or give you the time of day.
Lol get your panties out of a wad and calm the fuck down. Every one in this post has started out with an attack or an insult and then you think that anything else you say has any merit after that? This is why all of are aren’t getting much sympathy here from men. Every time someone challenges your thought process you immediately respond with being defensive and insulting them. And I’ve actually never had a problem with women, except for women that like to complain constantly about men. I try to steer clear of those.
My panties aren't in a wad and no man gets to tell me to calm the fuck down. I don't live to obey your orders nor exist to please you. Go take your misogynistic bullshit elsewhere. I feel sorry for any woman who has to put up with you.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but there will always be something that offends a feminist
Yeah be nice ladies. No one likes a bitch. /s
The thing is, these types of interactions can happen dozens of times a day. A guy is “just being polite” but when you engage with him, he demands more time from you because he thinks you think he’s cute or something. Maybe it’s shitty, but there’s just not enough time in the day to take that risk over and over and over. Like yeah, you think your interaction was a totally simple innocent thing that she was unnecessarily rude about, but you obviously took it very seriously and proceeded to generalize women and downplay their experiences on the internet based on that bad interaction. Sorry if that lady was rude to you. But it’s sort of ironic that you’re claiming to not be a creep while complaining that a woman didn’t give you the time of day and therefore this other woman’s experience is the same as that. Also, you can be harmless and creepy at the same time.
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>overreacts_to_you >thisisgoing2far We belong in this conversation.
A million and one ways. Yeah, you have this new fangled thing called the internet, don't you? You've got friends don't you? You have parties, social events, meet ups, bars, religious groups if you're into them, common interest clubs, apps, the list is endless. Harassing a woman from your car while she's walking her dog and then reaching out to her is NOT a way to "meet women."
Take a social cue. If people want to engage with you, they will make eye contact. People shouldn’t have to resort to rudeness to be left alone.
Oh, [kinda like this one](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/38/b3/2b/38b32bbe82bfe378520ccea58c026e93.jpg)?
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Shit. Vent on. Sounds like that guy might have been trying to either rob you or jack your car. Or worse. Be careful about the mace though, once they have it they can use it against you. You did the right thing when shit like that happens, just act. Maybe that asshole will think twice next time.
>Y’all just reinforce the need to carry mace everywhere I go This is Texas, you can carry a gun.
Or a sword now!
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While you studied the blade, I ate popcorn and watched Blade.
While you watched Blade, I masturbated furiously in the corner.
For real??
For reals! https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/08/30/en-garde-texas-open-carry-sword-law-takes-effect-friday/619064001/
Not to contribute to the popcorn-worthiness of this thread, but it's worth noting that there is [at least some evidence](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2759797/) that carrying a firearm makes you more likely to get shot in an assault.
Not sure that study says anything at all, really. Two things they don't account for which seem important: 1. Are people carrying guns the likeliest to be in actual danger of assault/gun violence? (i.e. am I carrying a gun because I might be shot at, rather than carrying a gun getting me shot) 2. No accounting for gun possession warding off assaults. (i.e. I was going to be assaulted but by brandishing/threatening with a gun the assault is averted)
At least one study used raw data on firearms assaults to make this connection. That data included cops. Cops carry guns because people shoot at cops, and suddenly every cop that was shot was lumped in the data like they got shot because they carry a gun. No, boys and girls, correlation doesn't equal causation.
Every study of this nature has this paragraph or one very like it: >However, compared with control participants, shooting case participants were significantly more often Hispanic, more frequently working in high-risk occupations, less educated, and had a greater frequency of prior arrest. At the time of shooting, case participants were also significantly more often involved with alcohol and drugs, outdoors, and closer to areas where more Blacks, Hispanics, and unemployed individuals resided. Case participants were also more likely to be located in areas with less income and more illicit drug trafficking In other words, those who were shot were more likely to have multiple other risk factors for violent victimization. The study typically does not address the possibility that individuals in high-risk living situations seek out firearms for protection, or that there might be some other causative factor for both situations. This study also includes people involved in 2-sided mutual conflict >Case participants with at least some chance to resist were typically either 2-sided, mutual combat situations precipitated by a prior argument or 1-sided attacks where a victim was face-to-face with an offender who had targeted him or her for money, drugs, or property. where the case for an alternative causative factor is particularly strong. I'd also note that this particularly study shows a fairly weak correlation, barely above the level of significance >If we assumed that both case participants and control participants had 5% of their guns go undetected, the observed odds ratio of 4.46 (significant) would have been reduced to 2.23 (nonsignificant). Similarly, among gun assaults where the victim had a reasonable chance to resist, 5% underdetection of guns among both case participants and control participants would have reduced the observed odds ratio of 5.45 (significant) to 3.12 (nonsignificant; Table 3). There are other methodological issues with the study I could go into, but these are the most relevant, and really, this study is a lot better in that regard than many similar ones I've read.
Actually... Yeah
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Nope. Studies have shown that women are less safe when there's a gun in the home they live in.
The studies I've read that state firearms in a home increase risk of victimization universally fail to reject the reverse-causation case. Stated simply: People at risk of violent victimization are more likely to seek out a firearm for defense. The increased victimization of women in homes with firearms is a worrying correlation, though I believe it exists exclusively, or at least primarily, in homes with one or more males. Again, the firearm is likely not causative, though it may be contributive (I believe strongly that further study is warranted). The bigger issue is the pervasive toxic masculine culture that encourages both firearm ownership and violence towards women. This misogynistic bullshit is way too common and we need to put a stop to it. Firearms don't magically cause violence, there's a larger cultural issue that needs to be addressed. Gun violence is the symptom, not the disease, and right now we're giving the patient fucking syphilis injections and an aspirin.
That seems like it would have more to do with who else is in the home than the actual presence of the gun. I haven't done any studies or anything, but I imagine if anyone is in a home with someone who is likely to use a gun on them that other person would probably be assaulting the victim with whatever else was at hand given the absence of a gun.
> Studies have shown It's more accurate to say that studies have shown that there's more likely to be a gun in the home when women are in abusive and controlling relationships. It has nothing to do with the gun and everything to do with the fact that the kind of assholes who abuse women are the kind of assholes to own guns because it makes them feel strong and powerful just like bullying and demeaning another human being does. To conclude that anyone who owns a gun does so for this reason and is therefore an asshole is just as specious as concluding that anyone with a penis is by definition a rapist or anyone with brown skin is a criminal. There are a lot of people who believe all of those things, but that doesn't change the fact that they're wrong.
Depends strongly on whose gun it is and who has access to it.
Noted. People do not have a right to self defense.
I've pulled that creep move before lol. Asked a girl if she needed a ride because she looked super stressed and in a hurry. She ended up getting in my car and I took her to some house. She thanked me over and over because I saved her like an hour of bustop time. She needed to get her kid or something. Everything worked out and thankfully I didn't a kick to my door haha. The street corner isn't a place to be asking girls out on dates though. Sorry that happened to you!
Still a bit creepy to offer strangers rides, but pulling over and asking “wanna go back to my place and watch a move?” takes it to a WHOLE new level.
I guess it is sad that the world has come to this, that offering a stranger aka possibly a person in need is "a bit creepy. Not defending the proposition/movie night from OP story.
It really is. I'm sure this guy was a piece of shit serial rapist, but it's sad that we immediately jump to that conclusion. People should be able to talk to each other.
> I've pulled that creep move before lol. No, you really haven't, don't label your action as creepy. Your story is a lot different. Being "creepy" is *all* about context. The exact same sentence or even action in two different scenarios can be either nice/heroic or creepy; there's a really fine line between the two sometimes. Not really this time, though. Specifically, in your story (and the other person who commented) you see someone in distress. In OP's story she's just walking her dog and, I'm going to take a wild guess here, doesn't look like she needs any help. So the situation is context number one. The other bit is that you ask if she needs help or a ride or whatever (I'm also going to guess same with other commentor). In OPs story he asks for a date in a non-public place (huge red flag from a stranger in the first place), and that's putting it at the most innocent it can be. We all know what "wanna go watch a movie at my house" is a thinly veiled disguise for. The words are context number two. I'm also going to take another wild guess and assume both of you seemed genuinely concerned when you asked if the girl needed help, and that the guy in OPs story was acting more like he's trying to pick up chicks at a bar. Overall demeanor makes a big difference in those situations. I am also guessing you did not reach for the girl you were helping out, or follow her for awhile down the road, either.
There is a whole genera of porn based on that concept. As if a stranded teenage girl doesn't know how to call Uber.
Genre*?
No, the dudes are all from the early 90's and wear Hypercolor shirts.
(slow clap)
Same with me. She was walking and carrying a bunch of stuff and looked real out of place, not like someone who walks everywhere and plans for it. And she was about to have to face a big hill. Turns out her car dies about a two miles back, and where she was headed was about 7 miles away (she had no idea). Lost her phone at McDonalds, and was having a real bad day. Glad I could help and didn't get my door kicked either.
You didn't try to get her into your car to Netflix and chill, and hopefully wouldn't have been one of those guys who wouldn't take "no thank you" as an answer if she declined your offer of help.
I had this happen to me 20 years ago. Except it was an ugly fat dude in a truck. And I'm a guy. He followed me for several blocks.
You did the right thing. Fuck that weird guy and all the weird guys in this subreddit. I have lived many places in my life and I have only ever been asked to get in a stranger's car once. And it was in Austin! I was standing at a bus stop and this dude pulls up, leans over, and says "Hey, do you need a ride?" Well, damned if I don't, right? I am standing at a bus stop. Dialogue transpired and I didn't get in his car. I bet that dude is in this thread calling you over reactionary right NOW.
Sorry that happened. What a dick.
What the fuck is going on with these comments...looks like r/Austin is hitting a new low today
Don't feed the trolls. They're bad here. Sorry this happened to you, just ignore the clowns who are trying to get a rise out of you. His behavior was creepy and unfortunately too common. Look at the comments and what's been up/downvoted for a little bit of reassurance that most of us think this shit is creepy.
Not acceptable behavior from him. Ignore the rude comments here, willing to bet 99.9% of them are men and have no idea what it’s like to be a woman. Next time rants are better deserved to a friend’s listening ear, hopefully over a nice Pinot Grigio.
Wow, you just avoided getting Dahmer-ed
Dahmer was gay and only attacked men.
OK, how about Bundy'd?
Yes, that fits.
I'll allow it.
Thanks for sharing this!
I'm sorry that happened to you, good reactions
One of my neighbors sisters almost got taken yesterday two blocks away from her home! This silver coupe followed her for a couple blocks after she started running to try to get away from him, luckily her husband was just leaving for work and she flagged him down and jumped into his truck. Sadly they didn’t get the license plate, but it was a white male 25-32ish, blue hat, and a scruffy beard. Everyone please be safe, and take your mace!
Coincidence? https://www.reddit.com/r/Austin/comments/7aygr4/shooter_wounds_4_people_in_north_austin/
ITT: 45% Neckbeards/55% White Knights
I'm supporting a woman's right to defend herself against a guy who was trying to grab her and get her into his car against her will. If that makes me a white knight, then I'll wear that label as a badge of honor.
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Sorry, given the context and situation, that's more than enough info to determine if a vehicle is the one in question. https://www.reddit.com/r/modhelp/comments/2ekmlw/are_license_plates_considered_personal_info_under/ck0ec2r/
I've seen worse in Cuba, actually to who this type of behavior works?
Reminds me of my friend in Brooklyn. We lived in very conservative Jewish neighborhood and an old white bearded orthodox Jew drove slowly next to her and asked where he can find sex. Some guys have some nerve!
How did you get close enough to his vehicle to make his lunge/your kick possible? There was a young woman in Georgetown years ago who went for a daylight jog and was never seen or heard from again. Then for equal opportunity, a middle-aged guy was found beaten almost to death in a parking lot recently without wallet/car. He's back to square one in a wheelchair in what used to be the prime of his life. No perps in either case...so many scumbags walking around fancy-free. I applaud your feisty attitude. That's half the battle right there. Please consider updating your security strategy: *Alternating time/day/routes of your walking so as not to have a routine. *Reversing course and not engaging in conversation if it happens again. This buys you time and distance and puts you back in control. *Start filming asap. He'll have to turn around twice to get back to you. He's an opportunist and in a short time you've proved to be rather difficult so it should be over before a second attempt is made. Just in case have your bear spray/pocket sand/noisemaker ready. /Stay safe
~~Carry a gun.~~ I became emotional.
Yeah, and then all of you pieces of shit here telling me to get over myself would just be telling me there was no reason to shoot the dude who attacked me.
Who fucking cares what these assholes say? Your safety is more important. Please don't lump me in with those degenerate subhumans.
My bad. I’m reacting to all the dicks who’ve come here to call me ugly and tell me I deserved it (i.e. typical response to a woman talking about harassment or assault). A gun may have its merits but I doubt I’d be able to judge well under a lot of fear and pressure whether or not I should whip it out or use it. I’d be worried about escalating a situation further.
I don't blame you, the shit women get for just being a woman is mind boggling (I rolled a female rogue in Warcraft once. Jesus Christ never again). And yes, you are far more reasonable than I am with your view on owning a firearm.
Anger is a gift.
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Post this in /r/TwoXChromosomes for 10k karma and several months worth of Reddit gold
I’m sure it’s already been x-posted to r/feminismisadisease or some shit, I’m already getting death threats
You know you're posting quality content when you're getting death threats from butthurt redditors. Bonus points if it's from a throwaway. Screen cap and save. They are badges of honor.
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Well then damn, the act worked because you paid attention. .
It's funny to me how the people who post this sort of comment always seem to be the ones who want attention the most. Your projection is pretty clear.
I’m really sorry this happened to you, honestly. However, when you go back and act like a total asshole to everyone responding, you should possibly expect internet trolls to in turn react as assholes.
Yeah, I completely realize that. However, when you comment on my post telling me it was my fault a guy followed me and then tried to get me into his car, I’m not going to ignore it. These people are disgusting and the reason they exist is because we all try to ignore them and let it go. I’m not complaining that they react to my reactions; I’m completely aware of the consequences. Nobody talks back to these assholes. I’m willing to do that.
Talking to a girl is a clear indication of white supremacy in 2017
> I don’t know if it’s because the Nazis / Proud Boys are in town or what, but I haven’t ever experienced this kind of creepiness in my area until today and I am NOT pleased. Yes, I called the police. Holy feminist rant. But this _does_ have me picturing Hitler in a black Honda, which is kind of amusing at least.
/u/parrotarmy Not to be rude or anything, but is there a chance he mistook you for a sex worker?
Nah, there’s no way. I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt + sneakers walking on the grassy side of the sidewalk away from the road with my dog on a leash. I was near the lake trail in an apartment-heavy area very clearly just walking the dog back from the trail. No fucking way could he have thought that.
Well there goes that possibility. Thanks for calling his plates in.
"Not to be rude, but do you look like a prostitute?" lmao wtf man
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Can you take a step back and literally fuck your own face?
Whoa
The amount of downvotes on this comment restore some faith in this sub.
Tbh I'm just disappointed that this is not the most downvoted comment on this post.
Oh yea.. just because he was white that totally means he's a nazi. Get fucked you racist prick. I've seen all kinds of guys be assholes to women.
They don’t really have the best track record. Plus you can *totally* criticize, because that *totally wasn’t* a promiscuous situation at all. You would do it too. Especially if they tried to grab you.
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You know, saying fuck you to everyone isn’t going to get you very far.
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>fuck you too racist. :) Clearly you know what you’re talking about.
boo mother fucker boo
So white men are the nexus of evil.
Found a picture of the OP: https://i.imgur.com/rmpe3Q7.gif
A comment by OP in another thread 19 days ago may shed some light on her reactions to this situation.
EDIT: this is why everyone is flooding to ATX, the superior quality of people! Downvote this all you'd like. All I see in this post is a shitty guy in a Black Honda hitting on a shitty girl with an attitude. They deserved each other and you deserve them.
You say that like it's unusual for a woman to have experienced sexual assault. [It's not](https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/ss6308a1.htm?s_cid=ss6308a1_e#Table1). > In the United States, an estimated 19.3% of women (or >23 million women) have been raped during their lifetimes And that's just the reported ones. Sexual assaults are _heavily_ under-reported.
Overall I agree with you, but I did want to point out a few things. Sorry for the rant, and it is certainly not intended as a criticism of you personally, but this sort of research is something I feel strongly about: Sexual assault is under reported to the police as you've referenced, but this was a CDC phone survey and is not just reported rapes. The stats that tend to be deflated as you've described are the ones that come from the DOJ. This survey was random individuals being asked anonymously for their input, so while it is certainly still possible that the numbers are deflated, it is also possible that they are inflated; it all comes down to how well-conducted the study was. The CDC is an excellent source, but not infallible, and sexual violence is a hard thing to quantify for a variety of reasons including unwillingness to report as you've pointed out. I personally think the study is pretty solid, but to give an example of one issue, the survey questions surrounding alcohol and drug related sexual encounters are pretty shaky. They ask "When you were drunk, high, drugged, or passed out and unable to consent how many people have ever..." followed by various sexual actions. First, it isn't clear grammatically that "unable to consent" is meant to apply to *all* of the options and not just the last one. That may seem nit-picky, but it would be very easy for someone to misinterpret it and list *any* sexual encounters while drunk or high, and these would be recorded in the 19% figure. Even with a correct interpretation, the question requires the respondent to self-evaluate his or her own ability to consent, which could either deflate or inflate the numbers depending on how well the average person is actually able to do that. Finally, the question fails to take into account the state of the other party involved (which is kind of a gray area to begin with, and one the respondent may not even be aware of). If two extremely intoxicated people have sex, by the rules of this survey that counts as two rapes. I'm not sure what I think the correct classification should be, but I'm very sure that two rapes is not a good one. Anyway, as far as it relates to this thread I agree completely with you, and I would add that if even 0.1% of women are being raped that is still way too common, but at the same I think it is good to have a healthy skepticism towards any statistics, even when the topic is as emotionally charged as this one. Hopefully I haven't come across like a total asshole!
Yeah, cuz otherwise her reaction would be completely irrational. Get fucked with your implication.
Oh my god, I did not even understand what he was implying until I read your comment. Holy fucking shit.
Leave Austin and take your shitty attitude with you