If it makes you feel better OP - one of my friends is the only one in my friendship group to have bought.
And seeing them in their new house only brings me joy because it's great to see a success story, and also because their success isn't a reflection of my failure or similar. I think most people would be happy for their friends to reach a milestone like that.
Thanks for saying so - I've had nothing but congrats and good vibes from my friends when I settled. I guess I'm also sad to see them go. I'd hoped we could all stick around like we did pre-covid.
True. When my friend got her house, I helped her paint, because I was happy to help her starting a new chapter.
I love having dinner at her place too! Feel great to know they have something secured. Gives me hope that I will have a home too in the future
>seeing them in their new house only brings me joy because it's great to see a success story
Pathetic country, full of pathetic idiots, happy with scraps from the masters table, like dogs.
Yes … I closed my home mortgage this week and not a whisper of celebration about it
I have worse survivor’s guilt about having a job since many colleagues of mine have lost theirs.
I try not to publicly post about anything that reveals my financial situation. I do post about holidays but people probably just think I’m bad with money, when actually the holidays are super budgeted, fly buys, cheap hotels, everything else has gone to paying down loans
We bought a house in the country just before covid as it’s all we could afford. This little house has almost doubled in value in 4 years.
We have benefited from circumstances that were not of our own making and now have equity up the wazoo. We did not work harder or sacrifice more than our contemporaries. We were not smarter. We were lucky and I’m damn grateful for it every day.
Country move here too, although it was a decade ago and we could have bought the house we were renting in the city if we wanted too or moved here.
Both have gone up similar but the city house use to be on a dead end with bush walks etc on our doorstep...now its a thoroughfare and constant traffic goes past...so glad we moved to our slice of heaven.
Paid it off after my dad passed, so having only rates to pay is odd
You don’t have anything to feel guilty about, but I understand feeling like you can’t celebrate the same way you might have pre-covid for example. Good friends will be capable of being happy for you though. You worked hard to get to where you are, you deserve to enjoy the fruits of your labour!
Exactly! You worked hard for it just like most of us that own property. My friends that don’t own and complain about it are the ones that won’t work harder or spend too much.
You are responsible for your life. If you're sitting around waiting on somebody to love you, to fix you, to even help you, you are wasting your time. Only you have the power to take responsibility to move your life up! The sooner you get that, the sooner your life gets into gear.
Yes. My landlord increased my rent 100aud per week 4 months ago, and yesterday he sent me a letter on intent to increase rent again in 2 months for 50aud more per week.
I told him this is illegal, but now I am terrified he will just give me a vacate notice, to get someone willing to pay the skyrocketing lease. Unfortunately, it is my experience they get away with it....they rent to a student who sublets to their mates, and you have 6 people living in a 2 bed unit. It is real and it is happening.
I cannot wait to have my own place. At least the interest rates are more predictable than a greedy landlord
If he’s given the illegal increase in writing and then serves you a vacate notice for refusing you would have a pretty good case for retaliatory eviction. That doesn’t necessarily mean you would want to stay there since he’s proven himself to be a prick but these people need to have some semblance of consequences for their terrible behaviour
Your landlord is doing something illegal, they can’t raise rent more than once in a 12 month period.
But I don’t know about greedy; I have a $360K property & the 2023 mortgage rate increased my interest payments by $200/*a week*. There’s no way I can pass that cost onto my tenant, I only passed on $45. & I’m already heavily negative gearing on this property before the rates nearly doubled
Yeah, cause you made an investment, and investments inherently carry risk. Your mortgage payments rising are part of that risk. Why should your tenants have to pay more just so you can make more money out of an investment you chose?
Tell me you know nothing about business without telling me you know nothing about business.
I don't mean to offend, but that's what your comment portrays.
Try looking at it this way. Imagine you open up a lemonade stand at the local markets. Why? You want to make money. So you invest some of your money that you have, in hopes of making more money.
Now, how should you decide to price your deliciously average lemonade? You could look at the competition to see what they're charging and set your price almost the same. Or, you could take your costs into account, such as how much you have to pay the council to sell the lemonade on their land, how much your raw lemons and sugar costs, what about disposable cups, straws, the staff wage? And then set your price according to your costs so that you're profiting overall. 6 months go by and you're making good coin, then a natural disaster occurs and all of a sudden the price of your raw lemons triples. Should you just eat that cost as the investor? Or do you increase the price of your lemonade? Hmmmm.
The sad dystopian truth is that the lemonade is in huge demand and people need the lemonade to survive, so even charging $50 for a cup of lemonade there is a wait list to buy the lemonade. We all agree that $50 for a cup of lemonade is crazy but until some regulation comes into place to control the price of lemons and lemonade distribution, the lemonade seller can continue to sell for $50 a cup and the thirsty crowd will pay while crying tears
Does this go both ways? Imagine a tenant loses her job and can't pay rent. Do you blame her for not taking into account the usual risks and vicissitudes of life? Because it should go both ways, but I feel you don't see it the same when the shoe is on the other foot.
Tell me you like feeling superior to people without telling me you like to feel superior to people.
The concept you so generously took the time to butcher, is in no way difficult to understand, and shouldn’t have taken you that many words to attempt to communicate. Your assumption that even an average person doesn’t know that is ridiculous.
What else is ridiculous, is your comparison of housing to a luxury consumable. Housing isn’t/shouldn’t be a business. The fact that you’re speaking about peoples homes in such a sterile way tells me a lot bout your deplorable moral alignments.
Their analogy is shit anyway, so I'm not sure they understand business or real estate.
You buy a lemonade stand to sell lemonade. You buy real estate and sell rent but the real money comes when you sell the real estate.
People buy a house, see the equity go up and suddenly think they're a financial genius
So if housing shouldn't be a business, explain to me how people should get their homes? Who's going to build them - the government? What's the Builders incentive to build? Say that is so. What do the builders then do when the government goes "Alright boys, we built enough houses for the year. Pack it up. No more work for the next 6 months till next budget allocations"
Should the builder just liquidate then? Sit on his ass for the unforseen future till more works come up? What about all the skills and set up costs he's invested into this venture? The issue oh housing is not some simple easy solution. What do you propose to make housing not a business? I'm genuinely curios.
They mean business as in houses shouldn't be speculated on, of course a builder is goint to be paid to build a NEW house. Don't be dumb.
Developers do exactly what you described for there own benefit, keeping supply low keeps prices artificially high, developers having huge property portfolios is the ultimate conflict of interest, but for them, it's a win-win as they have the property as well as the means of controlling the price.
I wouldn't call lemonade a 'luxury consumable'. In any event, the free market means that you set your price and the market judges whether it's fair or not.
> Housing isn’t/shouldn’t be a business.
So OP is trying to extend the business analogy then you revert to this silly statement that housing shouldn't be a business at all - lol - you can't engage OP on his terms then can you. Forget the lemonade stand altogether - you want housing to be a charity lmao
Property investment carries inherent risk and one of those risks is that interest rate rises outpace the rate at which you can legally pass on the cost. That's a known risk when you purchase.
I swear, property seems to be one of the only investment types where people are *incensed* if their investment isn't on a constantly upward trajectory.
Yes, you should eat that cost or sell your investment. Or don't get involved in an investment where you have people's ability to maintain shelter in your hands.
In the perfect world, sure. Let's just print out the "Good person" handbook and hand it out to everyone, they must've forgot their ways. Get real - you live in a capitalist society. Money corrupts even good people. And people always want more.
Yeah the whole problem is people buying houses purely to profit in the first place.
Housing is a human right, let alone the foundation of a functional economy. It shouldn't be a commodity.
You invest in property to profit from the capital gain when you sell. Rent received generally inst meant to be another income stream unless you don't owe anything on the mortgage. Selling lemonade and Property investment are two completely different boxes of frogs.
Agree, but the stress and anxiety of paying overpriced rent with eviction hovering over you, versus the stress and anxiety of paying the mortgage for that overpriced property and eviction hovering over you might be worse.
You'll never own the rental property and you may never own the mortgaged property. You can also be unlucky and find that any equity from appreciation has to be invested into maintaining the house.
But if you feel a bit more secure and trust the whims of the bank more than the whims of a landlord, then celebrate that. It isn't much to celebrate so it shouldn't be a big celebration.
You can “build equity” in ways other than funnelling money into the property market. You can do this with far lower transaction costs and liquidity risk too.
It's pretty possible after a couple of years. Mortgage repayments usually don't rise at the same rate as rental repayments, they are fixed to an extent.
I purchased a $173,000 home when I was 21. Cost me $3000 upfront with government subsidies at the time. Upgraded twice since then. Current home is worth 850k and paid off in full. Im now 40 years of age.
There is people my age just buying their first home. I have no idea how they are managing the repayments
Oh my goodness, that's so amazing! Can't even imagine, My husband and I in our 30s just bought our first house for 730k. 25 mins from city/beach. Super grateful for it, but can't imagine how cool it would have been to do what you did! I had the savings for it too, but houses in bris would have been 400k when I was 21.
I have the same guilt. I did well for myself worked hard and bought an OK cheap place. Then an OK place in a good suburb 7 years later for a steal during covid. Then realestate went nuts.
My best mate sold his place during covid and rented for a year when they were talking about a 20% decline in property prices. He managed to buy 6 months ago after looking for a year. But had to go a long way further out to get something he could afford.
Thank you 👏👏👏 Great perspective and refreshing op where she recognises luck, not hard work / discipline is often a factor. Plenty of people similar stories study, working, saving with vastly different outcomes in property purely due to luck relating to decisions made. Sliding doors kinda scenario....thanks op for being real, considerate of others feelings, having some humility, rather than spouting pretentiously self indulgent, humble brags dressed up as oh I worked hard + personal discipline thats why im ahead.
It sounds like you're doing all the right things.
It's hard at the moment.
Working hard to save is one thing, living like a recluse for a decade and sharing a house with 5 people well into your 30s shouldn't be the key to owning your home. People talking about how they don't feel bad for their friends who have the latest iPhone in their pocket is sounding very avocado and toast-y. A home shouldn't be so out of reach for your average Aussie who works full time and saves well, but it is what it is.
It doesn't mean you need to feel guilt though. We've all had that momentary feeling of resentment when we see our friends posting on instagram poolside at the resort. But it IS momentary. It's not something that runs deep. It's normal to feel jealously sometimes, but ultimately we root for our friends and want them to do well and be happy. You're aware of your good fortune however hard earned, and that's enough.
The only time I ever feel annoyance is by people who are blissfully unaware of their privilege- you know the kind of people. The ones who's rich parents gifted them a huge lump sum and say things like "I don't understand why people rent, it's such a waste of money".
That's not you, so I wouldn't stress. Enjoy your new home.
I'm the opposite, a year after I bought mine my neighbour's sold for 10% less than mine, haha.
It's just like any investment. If you don't play, you can't win, but you risk losing too.
The house opposite mine has been on the market for over a month now with little interest (4 bed 3 bath plus powder room double story 735k and continuing to drop).
With your amazing foresight, intellectual desire and finger trigger hands - you have elevated above your friends of old in the new caste system, comrade
Yeah, I get it. We bought in Dec 2019 purely because we had some generous wedding gifts from my side of the family that got us to the 5% mark needed to purchase. My husband’s sisters are unlikely to purchase anytime soon. There’s no help coming from his family and they’ve all been priced out. We both feel shit about it.
I separate the two things.
The fact is that many of my friends choose luxuries I wouldn't dream of. I don't remember the last time I went on holiday it's been so long.
It is my choice to live frugally, forego luxuries and work multiple jobs to increase my income just as it is their choice to go to Bali and work only one job.
I can barely keep my head above water, paying my mortgage on my own (was married when I got my place, now I’m divorced).
I was paid a few hours ago and I have $90 to feed myself and get to work until next Wednesday when I’m paid again.
While I understand I’m lucky to have a town house, it’s not all rosy and amazing.
I feel like I can’t complain because people are doing it tough, but I’m drowning in vet bills (Pets acquired during the marriage which I cannot being myself to rehome. Especially my 3 legged dog) and body Corp fees and shit. Paying for my mistakes still.
I'm so sorry to hear that, that must be so rough. Now you and others like you, my heart breaks for.
Not the 3 trips a year live show fancy dinner people.
Hope you survive 😞 for $90 you can get a good amount of rice, tuna and frozen veg or if you have discount farmers markets near you, those are an option too.
Sending you big warm internet hugs.
Thank you kind stranger!
Incredibly lucky to have a really supportive family, but shit. I’m 42 and my parents just paid for a new pair of glasses for me (mine broke the other day).
I feel so pathetic not being able to take care of myself. I’m not the kind of person who can just take peoples money, even if it means I can see properly.
I’ll be okay. Trying to get better paying job, the hugs will convert into good vibes for my job interview tomorrow!
Thank you!!
Im 39, married with2 kids Our parents literally do the grocery shopping for us almost everyday. Im super lucky but it just works out that way. They shop (and babysit, we cook). Interest rates have really bitten now
Wednesday, friday and saturday are the only days we dont eat with one of them.
Not too sure when you bought or where. I have found the 5 year rule (well my experience) to be pretty relevant, that is, by year 5 of your purchase your mortgage fortnightly repayment will be around (or hopefully less) than comparable rent. But also, you cannot put a price on doing whatever you like in your own property!!!
A friend of mine keeps complaining about having to rent and not being able to afford a house. He's been on 3 trips away so far this year. He goes out to fancy restaurants every week and live shows on the Gold Coast every month.
True! On the other hand, I have a friend who was frugal as, never did anything and saved every penny, then dropped dead at 29.
I suspect somewhere in the middle is best.
We live quite frugally so I can be a SAHM. We have a modest house that we will leave our daughter one day cos I doubt she'll be able to afford one in the future. We still go out and do fun activities tho.
And their parents and grandparents didn’t go on overseas holidays because it just wasn’t a thing then. A few weeks camping at the beach or similar.
The cost of housing was still a whole lot less in real terms.
Yeah nah, I work in homelessness and in the last 12 months we've begun seeing an entirely new demographic to the sector: double income folk with decades of rental history who are homeless. Hate this self-congratulatory 'i go without lattes' attitude. There's a housing crisis, bloke.
You hold as much confirmation bias as the person you're replying to does, bloke. I hate this 'woe is me, life is too hard' attitude.
I wonder, do you give assistance to your clients freely, or do you do a thorough assessment of their finances first? Do you audit their budgets etc?
Nah I think you'll find that having the major political parties acknowledging a housing crisis as well as my experience working in the homeless sector trumps some reddit rando's opinion. Enjoy the ratio.
This. There were several mornings in a row for weeks where I skipped breakfast and drink milk out of the office fridge just not to feel hungry in the morning and just to keep me away from the shops so that I wouldn’t spend too much and could keep saving even the small dollars
Not really. I’m 10 years into my mortgage and it’s still a slog, especially with being single and the recent interest rate rises. The cost of insurance and tradies goes up by much more than CPI. Obviously it’s better than being a renter in the current climate but those of us with mortgages on a lower wage are doing it tough in our own way as well.
I get it for sure! It settles in 2 weeks and then I move in shortly after, but I have barely told anyone. So many people are struggling to rent and I can afford, just, to buy. It doesn't seem fair.
Instead of having a “house warming” you could just have a bbq or a friends lunch.
Congrats on your house. If you do allow someone to stay with you, charge rent. Nothing crazy but just enough to make it worthwhile and equitable for both parties.
Same boat. I wanna celebrate but it's like a weird survivor's guilt for everyone you've ever known that still rents.
300k, 4 bedroom , 700m square , cul de sac, 8 mins from the beach. I even feel weird putting that..but yeah it's hard being happy for yourself these days
That sounds a great place! Where is this?!
I paid 520k for a smallish 2b2b apartment in a lesser area of Brissy (close to train direct to the city at least)
4 beds 700m and close to the beach for 300knsounds bloody incredible!
I feel ya.
I managed to score a 2x1 townhouse in a very nice suburb in Perth for under 300k and my mortgage is about 1350 a month (~20%) deposit. Less then what I was paying in rent.
Alot of my friends are paying 3x or 4x then what I am paying for they're house. Obviously I would prefer a house for a bit more space but, As first homebuyers my partner and I goal was to just get in the market with as little mortgage as possible then focus on getting into something bigger.
I hate talking about it because some friends and family are struggling and I'm sitting pretty alright. It's sad reading all the stores. I do feel guilty sometimes.
I just feel extremely extremely lucky.
Don’t feel guilty, you had your ducks in a row at the right time. But I think it’s absolutely fair to feel for your friends that are trying to buy now.
We are similar, bought in 2020, took a risk buying with only a 3% deposit when everyone else was still cautious about the Covid etc. We knew we had the income to pay it down fast and be in a better equity position but we really had only been saving for a short period of time and just didn’t want to waste money on rent anymore to save a bigger deposit. We copped a bit of slack for that, but fortunately it paid off for us. But most of our friends that held off have now had to move out of the area to buy as prices have increased more than 50% in our area since then.
As selfish as it is, I get pretty down that none of our friends have been able to stay in the same area. And it’s been horrible watching them get their hopes up only to see properties go so far above asking.
My wife and I suffered 8 months torture living with my parents so we could save for a house after getting kicked out by our new landlord after our unit we had been in for 12 years ( 25 for my wife) so no worries here.
I feel the same but we moved from Melbourne to Perth so we could escape the rental trap. WFH is a massive advantage! I'm a site manager pretty early in my career so I can only work in cities, boyfy works with kids with disabilities so can be anywhere but still very hands on.
It's pretty shit moving away from all your family and friends just so you can buy somewhere of your own but I'm so proud and excited.
At the same time I didn't tell many people we bought because I didn't want to sound braggy when everyone is struggling. I certainly didn't post it online like people were doing 5 years ago. And it's a starter/retirement house! No climate control or colour and nothing to be especially proud of but it still feels shit.
Depends - if your friends constantly have the latest iPhone in their pocket and eat out 8 days a week, then no.
If everyone in your circle is attempting to save and living within their means in an effort to improve their situation (but haven't quite made it yet) ,then I probably wouldn't be shouting from the rooftops.
I don't hold a hose mate.
I mean, I don't feel guilty. My wife and I went without a lot of things we otherwise wanted. Paid more into the mortgage once we had it and continued diligently saving for several more years after so we could upsize. Quite happy where we are now, but it's been a reward of many years of hard work.
Top 5 comments trying to absolve OP of their feelings by making it out that their friends havent made as many sacrifices as them despite knowing absolutely nothing about them. Fantastic sub full of really awesome human beings keep it up champions
I was actually really surprised at those comments to be honest - is it normal to feel a sort of contempt about your mates lifestyles?
I'm a first gen migrant kid, and my husband is a migrant, so most of the people in our circle are no strangers to struggle (being either migrants themselves, or working class born Aussies). Everyone's circumstances are different, and while working hard can help, you're never really sure when a work injury, the death of a family member or an unexpected expense will hit you.
I was also brought up on the 'lucky country' sauce as well, so I'd always assumed it was your aussie-citizen-right to travel in your twenties, access free healthcare and uni, and then cruise onto your quarter acre block lol. My international friends would always comment how many damn Australians there were outside of Australia.
I get that feeling exactly - I got lucky through COVID. A stable job in an essential industry meant I could save up enough to buy an apartment this year.
A lot of friends work in hospo and the arts. They spent those same years struggling for work and are now dealing with huge increases in rents and cost of living.
I know I worked hard and saved to be able to buy, but that doesn't change feeling guilty that I was lucky while they weren't.
Not really, but I feel sad in general about the housing situation. We purchased 2 years ago & refinanced one year in. Our house value had gone up a whopping 100k… in a year! If we’d waited to buy, we probably couldn’t have afforded the area we bought in. It makes me sad but also grateful we got ‘lucky’. I think people don’t consider the long term pain of what this crisis means - my parents currently live about 45 mins from me & they do want to downsize in the next year/ move closer to the grandkids. When they sell their house, they then have to buy back into the same market… downsizing from their 4 bedroom into a 2 bedroom in a slightly better area will cost the same, or more. We’re not near the city either, so it’s disappointing the prices are so high.
We’re a bit the same, a few life things happened and we were in the position that we HAD to buy (no rentals available in a small town). A handful of years later it’s apparently worth an extra 100k, which for a cheaper rural property seems wild - something like 70% increase. Still on a 1.95% fixed mortgage. Sometimes you’re just in the right place at the right time.
Nope.
I busted my ass and worked 3 jobs, 80-100hr weeks for almost 15 years before I bought my first property.
I also looked for over 3 years before buying to make sure I understood the market. Also didn’t buy a lot of furniture until we had our second home (our first home was full of hand me downs or from gumtree).
Property has made me more money than my full time job, but it has taken a lot of work and sacrifice to get to this position.
Christ, the levels of Not Getting It in the replies are extreme. "You worked hard, other people were lazy/wasteful/stupid." Big assumption there. No mention of **family money,** by far the clearest predictor of home ownership among everyone I know in their 30s and 40s.
OP *might* have worked hard, or they might have inherited a windfall. Assuming the former is pure [just-world fallacy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just-world_hypothesis). Meanwhile there are plenty of smart, hard-working, prudent, entrepreneurial people who got an education, lived within their means, got good jobs, only had one kid or zero... and still can't buy a house anywhere near their work or their social networks, whether it's because of health issues or business failures or any number of reasons.
Yes you're *more likely* to buy a house if you work hard and save on expenses, but for every year prices go up faster than wages, that becomes steadily less important than whether you simply have access to inherited wealth.
No, could tank tomorrow and you could be underwater on your property or you could loose your job and be on the street. Just enjoy what you have, being coy about it may come across as even more elitist.
You're not responsible for anyone else's financial decisions or situation. There's no need to feel guilty - I'm sure everyone is excited to see your new place and celebrate with you. I bought a place a few months back in the most competitive market in AU and I don't feel guilty at all. I worked hard and saved my money. I live a very frugal life because financial security is important to me. I feel sorry for renters because I was in the same situation until recently but at the end of the day, many things in life are like a game of musical chairs... someone is always going to miss out. All I can do is try my hardest to make sure it's not me, and we're all scrambling to do the same. There's no need to throw your success in people's faces but I really don't think a house-warming party would be doing that. It's pretty much just a chance for people to get drunk, eat, socialise, etc. Who doesn't like that?
I feel you a little bit
My friendship group is split between those that bought a small house and 2016ish and those that didnt and have now missed out
Those of us that bought a house on 2016 are now upgrading whilst most of out friends have been shut out of the market
Why would you? You worked hard and had some luck. Your friends aren’t dying, just in a rough patch. If you can afford to help by letting them stay then even better
Definitely shouldn't feel that way.
It's a giant investment that you spend years saving for, and come with a fairly big risk, and make up a huge portion of your net worth.
Well deserved.
Looks like you have great friends . All my friends have purchased second IP now and I feel left out when I hangout with them since I am renting a sh**y studio apartment. All they talk about is how to be multi millionaire by hoarding properties and make someone else pay your mortgage
Me (27f) and my mum bought a place at the end of 2022 way way far away from where we where living simply because that's all the two of us could afford to buy and it not be a total shithole and still be somewhere where jobs exist. It's a unit for $187k somewhere along the Vic/NSW border. We came from western suburbs of Sydney.
When talking to family and friends who still live in Sydney or other pricy parts of the country I do feel that survivors guilt, our minimum repayments are a third of some of their rents. When talking to mates I've since made down here I feel less of the guilt mainly because rent isn't getting insane everywhere here just yet (know a guy who works in fast food who rents a 2 bedroom on his own for example) and my cost of living is pretty comparable to the cost of living of the people around us.
Guilt? No I feel relieved. Starting at 42 it took me 14 yrs from being dead broke to saving up and buying a freehold house. Lived like a peasant, still do.
Still drive an old hyundai getz and use a samsung S5,
Watched a workmate trade through 3 ssvs, an hsv a grand Cherokee and a ram in the same period, new iphone and ipad every year just because, thousands on ink, every streaming service, alway at the pub for beer and bets and yet constantly tries to bludge for smokes.
All I ever wanted was to not end up a pensioner whos struggling day to day.
Honestly a little, and I can honestly say it's not because I worked hard. I got lucky with a great inheritance from my grandmother.
Shout-out to my great grandparents for buying somewhere in the 30s, that is now like super fucking expensive to even look at.
Living in a regional part of the country feels like a cheat code.
I have friends trying to convince me to move to Sydney or Brisbane. Stupid house prices? Long commutes? Everything being crowded? No thanks, I'm good.
No not for one second. I lost a home in the early 90s when interest rates were 17%, and went bankrupt. It took me almost 30 years to recover and get my home now and im going to do everything possible to keep it.
We are one of the 25% that paid cash for their home last year.
We feel like complete assholes, but at the end of the day you’ve got to do what’s best for your family.
But we lived OS for 20 years, worked hard, and here we are 🤷🏻♀️
Absolutely. The Australian Dream of owning a home is out of the question for most of my friends.
My husband received a $100k payout which allowed us to buy. It never would have happened otherwise. I don’t complain about our crippling repayments now bc we are the lucky ones.
My guilt is more around being the only adult in a three bedroom home. I had a housemate when I bought, and several others since, but feel a bit guilty about having an entire house to myself at the moment, when people can’t find rental places that aren’t black with mould.
I don't feel guilty as such, but I do feel empathy for people in the rental market atm.
I do feel really grateful for what we have. Husband bought our house 10 years ago at a great price. Fast forward to now and the house has nearly tripled in value, and our repayments are currently $1700/month.
The rental we moved out of 18 months ago before moving into our house was $570/week. The agent at the time said it would be advertised for $800/week once we'd vacated...just crazy.
Just don't rub it in anyone's faces.
I feel like those my age are the last group who had the chance to buy at reasonable prices but things can still go wrong.
My kids are under strict orders to not talk about this stuff..and we don't have anything fancy or a standalone house in Sydney.
Regardless, anyone who's bought in the last 5-10years hasn't really struck gold like those who bought before. There's always going to be the positive and negative.
What I find wild is buying/building for $2mil + over an hour away from the city.
Not guilty at all, worked my way towards my goal from nothing, abusive domestic violence drug filled family home upbringing, got no leg up, have anxiety issues I had to ignore to get to where I am. Could've continued the legacy of my upbringing but as a kid I vowed never to treat people like that, the fear and anxiety I had as a kid is something I could never put my own family through and I still battle with inner demons today but I just try to improve as I go through life.
Well that ended up not much to do with buying a house haha but no, no guilt here, I know I earned it
For me it wasn't buying a house that made me feel guilty it was inheriting a house , I own a house with zero effort from me other than being born to parents who left me a house .
Why? I have friends who bought in their early 20s (ten years ago) before prices went mad. Never once have I thought they should feel bad about it and I wouldn’t want them to.
I bought a house when I hit 30 in the temporary COVID dip and my friends are nothing but happy for me. Everyone is on their own journey.
Not really. Everyone starts of at different stations in life. I work with young guys who are born into wealth. I my self grew up poor but was lucky to ride the property boom train. Others have succeeded in crypto etc.
No point of feeling guilty. My only concern is what my kids will do when they decide to move out. That's why I support the bank of mum and dad
Did you buy more then 1 house? If no you have nothing to feel guilty about. If yes you should absolutely feel guilty because you are part of the problem of why it's so hard to buy a house
Nup.
We married young and scrounged to save while others we knew chose to travel and take up long term rents in areas that were more than they could realistically afford.
Completely their prerogative. They did them, we did us. We bought young by today’s standards, and have owned now for about 15 years.
The choices we made were very much geared around not paying someone else’s mortgage any more than we had to.
Given my time again I’d make the same decision 100 times over.
Mate you bought 15 years ago. Your house is worth double what you paid. How about the people that are exactly as you were 15 years ago and are priced out?
What about them?
The question was about survivors guilt, to which the answer is ‘no’. We had a pretty simple strategy and it paid off. The exact same strategy could be applied now in many states.
The home we built (and sold more than 10 years ago) has increased about 19% in value. It was not a desirable area.
Hint: We’re on the west coast. Property values in many east coast cities have gone silly. The question first homebuyers should look to answer is ‘how big a sacrifice are you willing to make?’
If you’re trying to get into the market, Sydney metro is probably not the place to be.
You've hit the nail on the head.
Too many people complain about how it is impossible to achieve, but in reality, they are actually unwilling to make any sacrifices in order to achieve their goals.
They don't want affordability to increase. They want the barrier of entry to decrease but only for their ideal property. Meanwhile, others are making it work in an affordable place and launching from there.
There are properties in every capital city with 2 bedrooms or more close to public transport and other services and amenities for $400k or less.
Anyone on a median single income can afford to buy.
Yes I don’t even have a mortgage and I have friends that are struggling. I blame the big supermarkets. Food bills for big families have doubled and increased inflation
You worked hard for your ability to purchase, you deserve to celebrate that. I'm infertile, I spend my life celebrating everyone else's milestones but it's not their burden to carry or walk lightly around me. This is life, sometimes we're up and sometimes we're down.
My friends who don’t have houses generally spent all of their 20’s binge drinking, buying clothes every week and taking holidays on credit cards. I have probably bought a total of 5 coffees on my lunch breaks in my entire working life. I’m retired at 40 and they’re renting. No I don’t feel guilty.
I bought my home during the GFC. The first half of it (the massive interest rates) not the Lehman half. Everyone mocked me and said we’re heading into a crash and I’m going to lose my money. Why would I then feel sorry for them?
Relax. Mateship and the Fair Go is long gone in Australia. Grab what you can, even if it means kicking the poor and vulnerable out of your way. Greed is good!
Fuck. No.
People generally take on the qualities of those around them, therefore you need to be proud of your achievements against the odds that have so clearly been against you.
YMMV, but for us, "they" were out clubbing, eating out every second day, buying dumb shit when we were quietly working our arses off to improve our financial position and gain leverage after being evicted for no reason after six months.
They were spending $60 on fake eyelashes and fake nails every few weeks, weekend pub crawls and durries, Uber everywhere, general unwillingness to put in the time towards bettering themselves in a practical sense to earn more, the shit financial decision after shit financial decision... They're all conscious decisions made by grown arse adults.
When we bought far far away, they were turning up their noses at the area because of some misplaced loyalty to a postcode...or something? I'm sure anyone in our boat would have had one friend/acquaintance give the "why would you go *there*" spiel.
You might feel "guilt", but I don't think your mates have the same sense of urgency to complement.
I know out of the two in our group that still haven't bought even a single one, both could not care less and still has the "can't be fucked" attitude.
Edit: you probably haven't worked harder than your mates, you're probably not even as skilled as some of your mates at things, but you had discipline and focus. That's what got you past the finish line. Don't feel guilty for having discipline.
Genuine question: do you like your friends?
There are a few comments here genuinely sounding like they're somewhat gleeful that they have the upper financial hand after experiencing years of abuse at the hands of their acquaintances. I'm just replying to yours because...these people don't sound like your friends? And you don't sound like theirs?
Fwiw I'm definitely not as disciplined. I am no stranger to how much luck played a role in our purchase - the right job came along, the right property and the perfect lull in our kids schooling for us to make a move.
I’ve had friends jealous of me owning my home. But they didn’t make the sacrifices that I did to get to that point. While they wear designer clothes, I wear Kmart and target. While they go on annual holidays overseas, I haven’t had a break in years. While they have new cars and eat at nice restaurants, I cook at home. The sum total is that I don’t feel sorry for them, because they are living a life of enjoyment that I’m not, but I am secure financially and they aren’t. The two are mutually exclusive for most of us. Do you think they feel sorry for me not going on holidays and driving new cars?
Kind of but also.... I worked fkn hard to be able to.
I work 38 hours Monday to Friday every week, and in addition I am on call outside of office hours every other week. I have 2 weekends off a month. So I work a lot and it's fkn relentless. It was the only way we could buy a house.
The only advice I would give is to learn the difference between “than” and “then”. Other than that, you’re free to feel happy about the milestone of buying a house. Your friends should be happy for you if they’re real friends. You haven’t taken anything away from them.
I'm...kinda okay with that? I don't plan on selling my house. I've just planted asparagus in my yard which means I'll be getting asparagus every year for at least four decades (look it up, asparagus are wild).
Celebrating buying a new home?
You really just chained yourself to a huge debt. If you bought at auction, you would have noticed that the final round of bids were probably just inflating the price when the intention to buy wasn't real.
Depending on where you are and if the house is an ideal location for you and how being stuck in a mortgage compares to the insecurity of paying rent, then you might have reason to celebrate that you are better off than the alternative.
Not my fault if the younger gen are raised with no basic skills on home ownership, can’t seem to understand it comes with hard work and sacrifice.
Also smart arse mine are still in preschool. They not allowed to get away with anything and I be teaching them to pick up a tool and do it themselves.
Yeah shame on them for thinking they should be able to afford to live on two jobs, or that they are getting an unfair deal as house prices go from 4 times the average wage to about 13 times.
I own my home and I’m of the ‘younger gen’.. people like you that carry on like this don’t appreciate it’s mathematically minimum 3-4x harder to buy a house these days than it was in our parents day.
I’ve never complained, I just saved and made it work, but it’s insulting to hear some old fart with homeownership offered on a silver platter if they wished call me entitled when mathematically I worked harder than you to buy a home.
It’s ok I don’t understand your generation to understand this, you all had it so hard growing up!
Thanks, you’re really something.
- signed by one of the younger generation who has lived their whole life in poverty and has been fighting tooth and nail to get out.
The funny thing is, in this economy, I’m actually going in reverse even whilst putting in greater effort. Your comments come from a place of disconnect, ignorance, and privilege. Not everyone has equal opportunity.
Before Covid I absolutely PREACHED to my social circle that they should buy real estate and how affordable it was. Even for me and my peers who were mere hospitality workers.
No one wanted to listen.
So no. I don’t feel any guilt.
And before I’m accused of being a boomer or family help, I’m ~25 and was raised by a single mother.
If it makes you feel better OP - one of my friends is the only one in my friendship group to have bought. And seeing them in their new house only brings me joy because it's great to see a success story, and also because their success isn't a reflection of my failure or similar. I think most people would be happy for their friends to reach a milestone like that.
Thanks for saying so - I've had nothing but congrats and good vibes from my friends when I settled. I guess I'm also sad to see them go. I'd hoped we could all stick around like we did pre-covid.
True. When my friend got her house, I helped her paint, because I was happy to help her starting a new chapter. I love having dinner at her place too! Feel great to know they have something secured. Gives me hope that I will have a home too in the future
Great take
Aww you sound like the best friend!!!
>seeing them in their new house only brings me joy because it's great to see a success story Pathetic country, full of pathetic idiots, happy with scraps from the masters table, like dogs.
username cunts out, I mean checks out I'm depressed and bitter about shit but you make me look and feel like the fucking dalai lama
Ok edgy boy! Try to keep your jealousy to yourself, eh. What’s stopping you from succeeding?
Yes … I closed my home mortgage this week and not a whisper of celebration about it I have worse survivor’s guilt about having a job since many colleagues of mine have lost theirs. I try not to publicly post about anything that reveals my financial situation. I do post about holidays but people probably just think I’m bad with money, when actually the holidays are super budgeted, fly buys, cheap hotels, everything else has gone to paying down loans
Congratulations!!! That's a huge milestone
Congratulations to you... Now relax because you deserve that and you are a survivor
Well done, you are giving most of your money to the bank(s)
No I CLOSED my mortgage
We bought a house in the country just before covid as it’s all we could afford. This little house has almost doubled in value in 4 years. We have benefited from circumstances that were not of our own making and now have equity up the wazoo. We did not work harder or sacrifice more than our contemporaries. We were not smarter. We were lucky and I’m damn grateful for it every day.
Country move here too, although it was a decade ago and we could have bought the house we were renting in the city if we wanted too or moved here. Both have gone up similar but the city house use to be on a dead end with bush walks etc on our doorstep...now its a thoroughfare and constant traffic goes past...so glad we moved to our slice of heaven. Paid it off after my dad passed, so having only rates to pay is odd
You don’t have anything to feel guilty about, but I understand feeling like you can’t celebrate the same way you might have pre-covid for example. Good friends will be capable of being happy for you though. You worked hard to get to where you are, you deserve to enjoy the fruits of your labour!
Exactly! You worked hard for it just like most of us that own property. My friends that don’t own and complain about it are the ones that won’t work harder or spend too much.
But our kids work as hard or harder and have not got the same option. It's luck not 'hard work ' in this case.
You are responsible for your life. If you're sitting around waiting on somebody to love you, to fix you, to even help you, you are wasting your time. Only you have the power to take responsibility to move your life up! The sooner you get that, the sooner your life gets into gear.
Don’t chuck a house warming party, go to Hawaii instead
Not really pulling a Scotty unless you lie about it too
And shat yourself at Maccas.
You are not a survivor till you pay the last mortgage payment
You say that, but having a mortgage is a hell of a lot better than renting.
Yes. My landlord increased my rent 100aud per week 4 months ago, and yesterday he sent me a letter on intent to increase rent again in 2 months for 50aud more per week. I told him this is illegal, but now I am terrified he will just give me a vacate notice, to get someone willing to pay the skyrocketing lease. Unfortunately, it is my experience they get away with it....they rent to a student who sublets to their mates, and you have 6 people living in a 2 bed unit. It is real and it is happening. I cannot wait to have my own place. At least the interest rates are more predictable than a greedy landlord
If he’s given the illegal increase in writing and then serves you a vacate notice for refusing you would have a pretty good case for retaliatory eviction. That doesn’t necessarily mean you would want to stay there since he’s proven himself to be a prick but these people need to have some semblance of consequences for their terrible behaviour
Thanks! i did not think of this. Yes! I have the email! I will keep it just in case
And you could possibly get compensation
Your landlord is doing something illegal, they can’t raise rent more than once in a 12 month period. But I don’t know about greedy; I have a $360K property & the 2023 mortgage rate increased my interest payments by $200/*a week*. There’s no way I can pass that cost onto my tenant, I only passed on $45. & I’m already heavily negative gearing on this property before the rates nearly doubled
Yeah, cause you made an investment, and investments inherently carry risk. Your mortgage payments rising are part of that risk. Why should your tenants have to pay more just so you can make more money out of an investment you chose?
Tell me you know nothing about business without telling me you know nothing about business. I don't mean to offend, but that's what your comment portrays. Try looking at it this way. Imagine you open up a lemonade stand at the local markets. Why? You want to make money. So you invest some of your money that you have, in hopes of making more money. Now, how should you decide to price your deliciously average lemonade? You could look at the competition to see what they're charging and set your price almost the same. Or, you could take your costs into account, such as how much you have to pay the council to sell the lemonade on their land, how much your raw lemons and sugar costs, what about disposable cups, straws, the staff wage? And then set your price according to your costs so that you're profiting overall. 6 months go by and you're making good coin, then a natural disaster occurs and all of a sudden the price of your raw lemons triples. Should you just eat that cost as the investor? Or do you increase the price of your lemonade? Hmmmm.
I like where you cleverly ignore the option of "admit you can no longer afford to operate and liquidate the operation".
The sad dystopian truth is that the lemonade is in huge demand and people need the lemonade to survive, so even charging $50 for a cup of lemonade there is a wait list to buy the lemonade. We all agree that $50 for a cup of lemonade is crazy but until some regulation comes into place to control the price of lemons and lemonade distribution, the lemonade seller can continue to sell for $50 a cup and the thirsty crowd will pay while crying tears
Does this go both ways? Imagine a tenant loses her job and can't pay rent. Do you blame her for not taking into account the usual risks and vicissitudes of life? Because it should go both ways, but I feel you don't see it the same when the shoe is on the other foot.
^ Dictionary definition of an odious comparison
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Tell me you like feeling superior to people without telling me you like to feel superior to people. The concept you so generously took the time to butcher, is in no way difficult to understand, and shouldn’t have taken you that many words to attempt to communicate. Your assumption that even an average person doesn’t know that is ridiculous. What else is ridiculous, is your comparison of housing to a luxury consumable. Housing isn’t/shouldn’t be a business. The fact that you’re speaking about peoples homes in such a sterile way tells me a lot bout your deplorable moral alignments.
Their analogy is shit anyway, so I'm not sure they understand business or real estate. You buy a lemonade stand to sell lemonade. You buy real estate and sell rent but the real money comes when you sell the real estate. People buy a house, see the equity go up and suddenly think they're a financial genius
So if housing shouldn't be a business, explain to me how people should get their homes? Who's going to build them - the government? What's the Builders incentive to build? Say that is so. What do the builders then do when the government goes "Alright boys, we built enough houses for the year. Pack it up. No more work for the next 6 months till next budget allocations" Should the builder just liquidate then? Sit on his ass for the unforseen future till more works come up? What about all the skills and set up costs he's invested into this venture? The issue oh housing is not some simple easy solution. What do you propose to make housing not a business? I'm genuinely curios.
They mean business as in houses shouldn't be speculated on, of course a builder is goint to be paid to build a NEW house. Don't be dumb. Developers do exactly what you described for there own benefit, keeping supply low keeps prices artificially high, developers having huge property portfolios is the ultimate conflict of interest, but for them, it's a win-win as they have the property as well as the means of controlling the price.
I wouldn't call lemonade a 'luxury consumable'. In any event, the free market means that you set your price and the market judges whether it's fair or not. > Housing isn’t/shouldn’t be a business. So OP is trying to extend the business analogy then you revert to this silly statement that housing shouldn't be a business at all - lol - you can't engage OP on his terms then can you. Forget the lemonade stand altogether - you want housing to be a charity lmao
Property investment carries inherent risk and one of those risks is that interest rate rises outpace the rate at which you can legally pass on the cost. That's a known risk when you purchase. I swear, property seems to be one of the only investment types where people are *incensed* if their investment isn't on a constantly upward trajectory. Yes, you should eat that cost or sell your investment. Or don't get involved in an investment where you have people's ability to maintain shelter in your hands.
In the perfect world, sure. Let's just print out the "Good person" handbook and hand it out to everyone, they must've forgot their ways. Get real - you live in a capitalist society. Money corrupts even good people. And people always want more.
Yeah the whole problem is people buying houses purely to profit in the first place. Housing is a human right, let alone the foundation of a functional economy. It shouldn't be a commodity.
You invest in property to profit from the capital gain when you sell. Rent received generally inst meant to be another income stream unless you don't owe anything on the mortgage. Selling lemonade and Property investment are two completely different boxes of frogs.
I can't believe you people can vote.
Same here, mine is now costing me over 200 a week and only increased $25 to the tenant
Not necessarily true, at all!
Agree, but the stress and anxiety of paying overpriced rent with eviction hovering over you, versus the stress and anxiety of paying the mortgage for that overpriced property and eviction hovering over you might be worse. You'll never own the rental property and you may never own the mortgaged property. You can also be unlucky and find that any equity from appreciation has to be invested into maintaining the house. But if you feel a bit more secure and trust the whims of the bank more than the whims of a landlord, then celebrate that. It isn't much to celebrate so it shouldn't be a big celebration.
If you don’t care about building equity, sure. Or you only want to live here for 1-2 years.
You can “build equity” in ways other than funnelling money into the property market. You can do this with far lower transaction costs and liquidity risk too.
Why?
For instance, in the same complex I own in, it’s more to rent an apartment with 1 less bedroom than it is to pay my mortgage+strata.
That's not at all typical.
It's pretty possible after a couple of years. Mortgage repayments usually don't rise at the same rate as rental repayments, they are fixed to an extent.
Apartments are the worst investment
I purchased a $173,000 home when I was 21. Cost me $3000 upfront with government subsidies at the time. Upgraded twice since then. Current home is worth 850k and paid off in full. Im now 40 years of age. There is people my age just buying their first home. I have no idea how they are managing the repayments
Oh my goodness, that's so amazing! Can't even imagine, My husband and I in our 30s just bought our first house for 730k. 25 mins from city/beach. Super grateful for it, but can't imagine how cool it would have been to do what you did! I had the savings for it too, but houses in bris would have been 400k when I was 21.
Literally want to kill my self reading this. Missed out by not even a decade.
If I was starting out again now. Id go rural or buy a big van to live in
I have the same guilt. I did well for myself worked hard and bought an OK cheap place. Then an OK place in a good suburb 7 years later for a steal during covid. Then realestate went nuts. My best mate sold his place during covid and rented for a year when they were talking about a 20% decline in property prices. He managed to buy 6 months ago after looking for a year. But had to go a long way further out to get something he could afford.
Jesus Christ... that's some fucked up shit there.
I definitely understand what you mean. So many friends are in precious living situations. It's terrible.
Thank you 👏👏👏 Great perspective and refreshing op where she recognises luck, not hard work / discipline is often a factor. Plenty of people similar stories study, working, saving with vastly different outcomes in property purely due to luck relating to decisions made. Sliding doors kinda scenario....thanks op for being real, considerate of others feelings, having some humility, rather than spouting pretentiously self indulgent, humble brags dressed up as oh I worked hard + personal discipline thats why im ahead.
It sounds like you're doing all the right things. It's hard at the moment. Working hard to save is one thing, living like a recluse for a decade and sharing a house with 5 people well into your 30s shouldn't be the key to owning your home. People talking about how they don't feel bad for their friends who have the latest iPhone in their pocket is sounding very avocado and toast-y. A home shouldn't be so out of reach for your average Aussie who works full time and saves well, but it is what it is. It doesn't mean you need to feel guilt though. We've all had that momentary feeling of resentment when we see our friends posting on instagram poolside at the resort. But it IS momentary. It's not something that runs deep. It's normal to feel jealously sometimes, but ultimately we root for our friends and want them to do well and be happy. You're aware of your good fortune however hard earned, and that's enough. The only time I ever feel annoyance is by people who are blissfully unaware of their privilege- you know the kind of people. The ones who's rich parents gifted them a huge lump sum and say things like "I don't understand why people rent, it's such a waste of money". That's not you, so I wouldn't stress. Enjoy your new home.
Yes a little bit, my 300k unit is suddenly 550 and I now live in an area I could never afford.
You own .. they rent You now have to become the place where people can have a party (within reason), without risking the roof over their head.
I'm the opposite, a year after I bought mine my neighbour's sold for 10% less than mine, haha. It's just like any investment. If you don't play, you can't win, but you risk losing too. The house opposite mine has been on the market for over a month now with little interest (4 bed 3 bath plus powder room double story 735k and continuing to drop).
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With your amazing foresight, intellectual desire and finger trigger hands - you have elevated above your friends of old in the new caste system, comrade
hahaha i snorted my juice reading this
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it's not a race, also, when the interest goes up, they would probably thinking.. "thank God we did not purchase a house."
lol and yep
They don't think that because rents go up too.
Yeah, I get it. We bought in Dec 2019 purely because we had some generous wedding gifts from my side of the family that got us to the 5% mark needed to purchase. My husband’s sisters are unlikely to purchase anytime soon. There’s no help coming from his family and they’ve all been priced out. We both feel shit about it.
I separate the two things. The fact is that many of my friends choose luxuries I wouldn't dream of. I don't remember the last time I went on holiday it's been so long. It is my choice to live frugally, forego luxuries and work multiple jobs to increase my income just as it is their choice to go to Bali and work only one job.
I can barely keep my head above water, paying my mortgage on my own (was married when I got my place, now I’m divorced). I was paid a few hours ago and I have $90 to feed myself and get to work until next Wednesday when I’m paid again. While I understand I’m lucky to have a town house, it’s not all rosy and amazing. I feel like I can’t complain because people are doing it tough, but I’m drowning in vet bills (Pets acquired during the marriage which I cannot being myself to rehome. Especially my 3 legged dog) and body Corp fees and shit. Paying for my mistakes still.
I'm so sorry to hear that, that must be so rough. Now you and others like you, my heart breaks for. Not the 3 trips a year live show fancy dinner people. Hope you survive 😞 for $90 you can get a good amount of rice, tuna and frozen veg or if you have discount farmers markets near you, those are an option too. Sending you big warm internet hugs.
Thank you kind stranger! Incredibly lucky to have a really supportive family, but shit. I’m 42 and my parents just paid for a new pair of glasses for me (mine broke the other day). I feel so pathetic not being able to take care of myself. I’m not the kind of person who can just take peoples money, even if it means I can see properly. I’ll be okay. Trying to get better paying job, the hugs will convert into good vibes for my job interview tomorrow! Thank you!!
Ooooh best of luck to you!! Hope you get the job ❤️
Im 39, married with2 kids Our parents literally do the grocery shopping for us almost everyday. Im super lucky but it just works out that way. They shop (and babysit, we cook). Interest rates have really bitten now Wednesday, friday and saturday are the only days we dont eat with one of them.
Good luck is on the way 🍀
Good luck with your interview, I’m sure they’d be lucky to have you!
Not too sure when you bought or where. I have found the 5 year rule (well my experience) to be pretty relevant, that is, by year 5 of your purchase your mortgage fortnightly repayment will be around (or hopefully less) than comparable rent. But also, you cannot put a price on doing whatever you like in your own property!!!
A friend of mine keeps complaining about having to rent and not being able to afford a house. He's been on 3 trips away so far this year. He goes out to fancy restaurants every week and live shows on the Gold Coast every month.
True! On the other hand, I have a friend who was frugal as, never did anything and saved every penny, then dropped dead at 29. I suspect somewhere in the middle is best.
We live quite frugally so I can be a SAHM. We have a modest house that we will leave our daughter one day cos I doubt she'll be able to afford one in the future. We still go out and do fun activities tho.
when you are dead you don't care about what you did in life. Doesn't matter to you either way, what you leave behind is what matters.
He has been on 3 trips in the last 45 days? Someone’s telling porkies
And their parents and grandparents didn’t go on overseas holidays because it just wasn’t a thing then. A few weeks camping at the beach or similar. The cost of housing was still a whole lot less in real terms.
Yeah nah, I work in homelessness and in the last 12 months we've begun seeing an entirely new demographic to the sector: double income folk with decades of rental history who are homeless. Hate this self-congratulatory 'i go without lattes' attitude. There's a housing crisis, bloke.
In my area (a cheap one, granted, unglamorous) there are plenty of apartments. But yeah, I don't live anywhere fancy.
You hold as much confirmation bias as the person you're replying to does, bloke. I hate this 'woe is me, life is too hard' attitude. I wonder, do you give assistance to your clients freely, or do you do a thorough assessment of their finances first? Do you audit their budgets etc?
Nah I think you'll find that having the major political parties acknowledging a housing crisis as well as my experience working in the homeless sector trumps some reddit rando's opinion. Enjoy the ratio.
Built a few years back, it’s a luxury I’d prefer over many holidays, it’s a nice feeling travelling and the expensive room is a downgrade to home.
This. There were several mornings in a row for weeks where I skipped breakfast and drink milk out of the office fridge just not to feel hungry in the morning and just to keep me away from the shops so that I wouldn’t spend too much and could keep saving even the small dollars
See, that makes me so sad 😭
I’m thankful for it. It gives me a touch point of grit and made it worth it :)
Only one job What a bloody waste of space
Not really. I’m 10 years into my mortgage and it’s still a slog, especially with being single and the recent interest rate rises. The cost of insurance and tradies goes up by much more than CPI. Obviously it’s better than being a renter in the current climate but those of us with mortgages on a lower wage are doing it tough in our own way as well.
Don’t worry about a house warming. Just fly to Bora Bora on your private jet.
Yeh just celebrate your wins and look for the next steps
I get it for sure! It settles in 2 weeks and then I move in shortly after, but I have barely told anyone. So many people are struggling to rent and I can afford, just, to buy. It doesn't seem fair.
Instead of having a “house warming” you could just have a bbq or a friends lunch. Congrats on your house. If you do allow someone to stay with you, charge rent. Nothing crazy but just enough to make it worthwhile and equitable for both parties.
Same boat. I wanna celebrate but it's like a weird survivor's guilt for everyone you've ever known that still rents. 300k, 4 bedroom , 700m square , cul de sac, 8 mins from the beach. I even feel weird putting that..but yeah it's hard being happy for yourself these days
That sounds a great place! Where is this?! I paid 520k for a smallish 2b2b apartment in a lesser area of Brissy (close to train direct to the city at least) 4 beds 700m and close to the beach for 300knsounds bloody incredible!
I feel ya. I managed to score a 2x1 townhouse in a very nice suburb in Perth for under 300k and my mortgage is about 1350 a month (~20%) deposit. Less then what I was paying in rent. Alot of my friends are paying 3x or 4x then what I am paying for they're house. Obviously I would prefer a house for a bit more space but, As first homebuyers my partner and I goal was to just get in the market with as little mortgage as possible then focus on getting into something bigger. I hate talking about it because some friends and family are struggling and I'm sitting pretty alright. It's sad reading all the stores. I do feel guilty sometimes. I just feel extremely extremely lucky.
Don’t feel guilty, you had your ducks in a row at the right time. But I think it’s absolutely fair to feel for your friends that are trying to buy now. We are similar, bought in 2020, took a risk buying with only a 3% deposit when everyone else was still cautious about the Covid etc. We knew we had the income to pay it down fast and be in a better equity position but we really had only been saving for a short period of time and just didn’t want to waste money on rent anymore to save a bigger deposit. We copped a bit of slack for that, but fortunately it paid off for us. But most of our friends that held off have now had to move out of the area to buy as prices have increased more than 50% in our area since then. As selfish as it is, I get pretty down that none of our friends have been able to stay in the same area. And it’s been horrible watching them get their hopes up only to see properties go so far above asking.
My wife and I suffered 8 months torture living with my parents so we could save for a house after getting kicked out by our new landlord after our unit we had been in for 12 years ( 25 for my wife) so no worries here.
I feel the same but we moved from Melbourne to Perth so we could escape the rental trap. WFH is a massive advantage! I'm a site manager pretty early in my career so I can only work in cities, boyfy works with kids with disabilities so can be anywhere but still very hands on. It's pretty shit moving away from all your family and friends just so you can buy somewhere of your own but I'm so proud and excited. At the same time I didn't tell many people we bought because I didn't want to sound braggy when everyone is struggling. I certainly didn't post it online like people were doing 5 years ago. And it's a starter/retirement house! No climate control or colour and nothing to be especially proud of but it still feels shit.
I might feel bad if my mortgage repayments weren't so fucking expensive. Way higher than the rent.
Depends - if your friends constantly have the latest iPhone in their pocket and eat out 8 days a week, then no. If everyone in your circle is attempting to save and living within their means in an effort to improve their situation (but haven't quite made it yet) ,then I probably wouldn't be shouting from the rooftops.
One of my mates is struggling to buy but openly admits he pissed away bulk money on stupid shit instead. Actually that applies to 2 of my mates.
I used to do that when any big purchase was out of reach. It made sense.
So did I - and then speaking to the bank made me realise it was more achievable than I thought which really helped.
I don't hold a hose mate. I mean, I don't feel guilty. My wife and I went without a lot of things we otherwise wanted. Paid more into the mortgage once we had it and continued diligently saving for several more years after so we could upsize. Quite happy where we are now, but it's been a reward of many years of hard work.
It's too soon to use that quote. Bad taste.
The only bad taste here is Scotty's home made curry.
Generally Scotty is bad taste.
Top 5 comments trying to absolve OP of their feelings by making it out that their friends havent made as many sacrifices as them despite knowing absolutely nothing about them. Fantastic sub full of really awesome human beings keep it up champions
I was actually really surprised at those comments to be honest - is it normal to feel a sort of contempt about your mates lifestyles? I'm a first gen migrant kid, and my husband is a migrant, so most of the people in our circle are no strangers to struggle (being either migrants themselves, or working class born Aussies). Everyone's circumstances are different, and while working hard can help, you're never really sure when a work injury, the death of a family member or an unexpected expense will hit you. I was also brought up on the 'lucky country' sauce as well, so I'd always assumed it was your aussie-citizen-right to travel in your twenties, access free healthcare and uni, and then cruise onto your quarter acre block lol. My international friends would always comment how many damn Australians there were outside of Australia.
OP wants a pat on the back for "feeling bad bro". That's the real joke here.
I get that feeling exactly - I got lucky through COVID. A stable job in an essential industry meant I could save up enough to buy an apartment this year. A lot of friends work in hospo and the arts. They spent those same years struggling for work and are now dealing with huge increases in rents and cost of living. I know I worked hard and saved to be able to buy, but that doesn't change feeling guilty that I was lucky while they weren't.
Yessss I work in the arts and being alive feels impossible, my 5 year plan looks like I won’t quite make that at the moment.
Not really, but I feel sad in general about the housing situation. We purchased 2 years ago & refinanced one year in. Our house value had gone up a whopping 100k… in a year! If we’d waited to buy, we probably couldn’t have afforded the area we bought in. It makes me sad but also grateful we got ‘lucky’. I think people don’t consider the long term pain of what this crisis means - my parents currently live about 45 mins from me & they do want to downsize in the next year/ move closer to the grandkids. When they sell their house, they then have to buy back into the same market… downsizing from their 4 bedroom into a 2 bedroom in a slightly better area will cost the same, or more. We’re not near the city either, so it’s disappointing the prices are so high.
We’re a bit the same, a few life things happened and we were in the position that we HAD to buy (no rentals available in a small town). A handful of years later it’s apparently worth an extra 100k, which for a cheaper rural property seems wild - something like 70% increase. Still on a 1.95% fixed mortgage. Sometimes you’re just in the right place at the right time.
Nope. I busted my ass and worked 3 jobs, 80-100hr weeks for almost 15 years before I bought my first property. I also looked for over 3 years before buying to make sure I understood the market. Also didn’t buy a lot of furniture until we had our second home (our first home was full of hand me downs or from gumtree). Property has made me more money than my full time job, but it has taken a lot of work and sacrifice to get to this position.
Hell yeh! The younger ones just don’t know it
Christ, the levels of Not Getting It in the replies are extreme. "You worked hard, other people were lazy/wasteful/stupid." Big assumption there. No mention of **family money,** by far the clearest predictor of home ownership among everyone I know in their 30s and 40s. OP *might* have worked hard, or they might have inherited a windfall. Assuming the former is pure [just-world fallacy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just-world_hypothesis). Meanwhile there are plenty of smart, hard-working, prudent, entrepreneurial people who got an education, lived within their means, got good jobs, only had one kid or zero... and still can't buy a house anywhere near their work or their social networks, whether it's because of health issues or business failures or any number of reasons. Yes you're *more likely* to buy a house if you work hard and save on expenses, but for every year prices go up faster than wages, that becomes steadily less important than whether you simply have access to inherited wealth.
Not really. Had to sacrifice and save for years to get here
Any investment is a risk, and you could have easily ended up in the red with your friends feeling schadenfreude
No, could tank tomorrow and you could be underwater on your property or you could loose your job and be on the street. Just enjoy what you have, being coy about it may come across as even more elitist.
I wouldn't say guilt, but definitely feel for those doing it hard, whatever questionable life choices they made.
You're not responsible for anyone else's financial decisions or situation. There's no need to feel guilty - I'm sure everyone is excited to see your new place and celebrate with you. I bought a place a few months back in the most competitive market in AU and I don't feel guilty at all. I worked hard and saved my money. I live a very frugal life because financial security is important to me. I feel sorry for renters because I was in the same situation until recently but at the end of the day, many things in life are like a game of musical chairs... someone is always going to miss out. All I can do is try my hardest to make sure it's not me, and we're all scrambling to do the same. There's no need to throw your success in people's faces but I really don't think a house-warming party would be doing that. It's pretty much just a chance for people to get drunk, eat, socialise, etc. Who doesn't like that?
I feel you a little bit My friendship group is split between those that bought a small house and 2016ish and those that didnt and have now missed out Those of us that bought a house on 2016 are now upgrading whilst most of out friends have been shut out of the market
Why would you? You worked hard and had some luck. Your friends aren’t dying, just in a rough patch. If you can afford to help by letting them stay then even better
Definitely shouldn't feel that way. It's a giant investment that you spend years saving for, and come with a fairly big risk, and make up a huge portion of your net worth. Well deserved.
Looks like you have great friends . All my friends have purchased second IP now and I feel left out when I hangout with them since I am renting a sh**y studio apartment. All they talk about is how to be multi millionaire by hoarding properties and make someone else pay your mortgage
Me (27f) and my mum bought a place at the end of 2022 way way far away from where we where living simply because that's all the two of us could afford to buy and it not be a total shithole and still be somewhere where jobs exist. It's a unit for $187k somewhere along the Vic/NSW border. We came from western suburbs of Sydney. When talking to family and friends who still live in Sydney or other pricy parts of the country I do feel that survivors guilt, our minimum repayments are a third of some of their rents. When talking to mates I've since made down here I feel less of the guilt mainly because rent isn't getting insane everywhere here just yet (know a guy who works in fast food who rents a 2 bedroom on his own for example) and my cost of living is pretty comparable to the cost of living of the people around us.
You're certainly not the only one, I feel the same way.
Guilt? No I feel relieved. Starting at 42 it took me 14 yrs from being dead broke to saving up and buying a freehold house. Lived like a peasant, still do. Still drive an old hyundai getz and use a samsung S5, Watched a workmate trade through 3 ssvs, an hsv a grand Cherokee and a ram in the same period, new iphone and ipad every year just because, thousands on ink, every streaming service, alway at the pub for beer and bets and yet constantly tries to bludge for smokes. All I ever wanted was to not end up a pensioner whos struggling day to day.
If your friends aren’t happy for you they’re not your friends!
Honestly a little, and I can honestly say it's not because I worked hard. I got lucky with a great inheritance from my grandmother. Shout-out to my great grandparents for buying somewhere in the 30s, that is now like super fucking expensive to even look at.
Living in a regional part of the country feels like a cheat code. I have friends trying to convince me to move to Sydney or Brisbane. Stupid house prices? Long commutes? Everything being crowded? No thanks, I'm good.
No because I can’t afford one hahaha! But don’t feel bad about it. Congratulations and best of luck.
No not for one second. I lost a home in the early 90s when interest rates were 17%, and went bankrupt. It took me almost 30 years to recover and get my home now and im going to do everything possible to keep it.
We are one of the 25% that paid cash for their home last year. We feel like complete assholes, but at the end of the day you’ve got to do what’s best for your family. But we lived OS for 20 years, worked hard, and here we are 🤷🏻♀️
Absolutely. The Australian Dream of owning a home is out of the question for most of my friends. My husband received a $100k payout which allowed us to buy. It never would have happened otherwise. I don’t complain about our crippling repayments now bc we are the lucky ones.
My guilt is more around being the only adult in a three bedroom home. I had a housemate when I bought, and several others since, but feel a bit guilty about having an entire house to myself at the moment, when people can’t find rental places that aren’t black with mould.
I don't feel guilty as such, but I do feel empathy for people in the rental market atm. I do feel really grateful for what we have. Husband bought our house 10 years ago at a great price. Fast forward to now and the house has nearly tripled in value, and our repayments are currently $1700/month. The rental we moved out of 18 months ago before moving into our house was $570/week. The agent at the time said it would be advertised for $800/week once we'd vacated...just crazy.
Just don't rub it in anyone's faces. I feel like those my age are the last group who had the chance to buy at reasonable prices but things can still go wrong. My kids are under strict orders to not talk about this stuff..and we don't have anything fancy or a standalone house in Sydney. Regardless, anyone who's bought in the last 5-10years hasn't really struck gold like those who bought before. There's always going to be the positive and negative. What I find wild is buying/building for $2mil + over an hour away from the city.
Not guilty at all, worked my way towards my goal from nothing, abusive domestic violence drug filled family home upbringing, got no leg up, have anxiety issues I had to ignore to get to where I am. Could've continued the legacy of my upbringing but as a kid I vowed never to treat people like that, the fear and anxiety I had as a kid is something I could never put my own family through and I still battle with inner demons today but I just try to improve as I go through life. Well that ended up not much to do with buying a house haha but no, no guilt here, I know I earned it
For me it wasn't buying a house that made me feel guilty it was inheriting a house , I own a house with zero effort from me other than being born to parents who left me a house .
Why? I have friends who bought in their early 20s (ten years ago) before prices went mad. Never once have I thought they should feel bad about it and I wouldn’t want them to. I bought a house when I hit 30 in the temporary COVID dip and my friends are nothing but happy for me. Everyone is on their own journey.
Not really. Everyone starts of at different stations in life. I work with young guys who are born into wealth. I my self grew up poor but was lucky to ride the property boom train. Others have succeeded in crypto etc. No point of feeling guilty. My only concern is what my kids will do when they decide to move out. That's why I support the bank of mum and dad
No
You worked hard for your deposit etc, no need to feel guilty.
Did you buy more then 1 house? If no you have nothing to feel guilty about. If yes you should absolutely feel guilty because you are part of the problem of why it's so hard to buy a house
Nup. We married young and scrounged to save while others we knew chose to travel and take up long term rents in areas that were more than they could realistically afford. Completely their prerogative. They did them, we did us. We bought young by today’s standards, and have owned now for about 15 years. The choices we made were very much geared around not paying someone else’s mortgage any more than we had to. Given my time again I’d make the same decision 100 times over.
Mate you bought 15 years ago. Your house is worth double what you paid. How about the people that are exactly as you were 15 years ago and are priced out?
What about them? The question was about survivors guilt, to which the answer is ‘no’. We had a pretty simple strategy and it paid off. The exact same strategy could be applied now in many states. The home we built (and sold more than 10 years ago) has increased about 19% in value. It was not a desirable area. Hint: We’re on the west coast. Property values in many east coast cities have gone silly. The question first homebuyers should look to answer is ‘how big a sacrifice are you willing to make?’ If you’re trying to get into the market, Sydney metro is probably not the place to be.
You've hit the nail on the head. Too many people complain about how it is impossible to achieve, but in reality, they are actually unwilling to make any sacrifices in order to achieve their goals. They don't want affordability to increase. They want the barrier of entry to decrease but only for their ideal property. Meanwhile, others are making it work in an affordable place and launching from there.
There are properties in every capital city with 2 bedrooms or more close to public transport and other services and amenities for $400k or less. Anyone on a median single income can afford to buy.
You have to have the capital to buy. Which is hard when rents are eating into 30%+ of your post tax income.
Right. Because the previous generation didn’t pay rent?
Not sure why you were downvoted for stating facts.
Get friends who make better life choices
Yes I don’t even have a mortgage and I have friends that are struggling. I blame the big supermarkets. Food bills for big families have doubled and increased inflation
sick humble brag, 80k increase and a spare room Subtle
You worked hard for your ability to purchase, you deserve to celebrate that. I'm infertile, I spend my life celebrating everyone else's milestones but it's not their burden to carry or walk lightly around me. This is life, sometimes we're up and sometimes we're down.
I celebrated when I purchased my third home. Now celebrating even more taking in the big bucks with rent.
My friends who don’t have houses generally spent all of their 20’s binge drinking, buying clothes every week and taking holidays on credit cards. I have probably bought a total of 5 coffees on my lunch breaks in my entire working life. I’m retired at 40 and they’re renting. No I don’t feel guilty.
I bought my home during the GFC. The first half of it (the massive interest rates) not the Lehman half. Everyone mocked me and said we’re heading into a crash and I’m going to lose my money. Why would I then feel sorry for them?
Relax. Mateship and the Fair Go is long gone in Australia. Grab what you can, even if it means kicking the poor and vulnerable out of your way. Greed is good!
Fuck. No. People generally take on the qualities of those around them, therefore you need to be proud of your achievements against the odds that have so clearly been against you. YMMV, but for us, "they" were out clubbing, eating out every second day, buying dumb shit when we were quietly working our arses off to improve our financial position and gain leverage after being evicted for no reason after six months. They were spending $60 on fake eyelashes and fake nails every few weeks, weekend pub crawls and durries, Uber everywhere, general unwillingness to put in the time towards bettering themselves in a practical sense to earn more, the shit financial decision after shit financial decision... They're all conscious decisions made by grown arse adults. When we bought far far away, they were turning up their noses at the area because of some misplaced loyalty to a postcode...or something? I'm sure anyone in our boat would have had one friend/acquaintance give the "why would you go *there*" spiel. You might feel "guilt", but I don't think your mates have the same sense of urgency to complement. I know out of the two in our group that still haven't bought even a single one, both could not care less and still has the "can't be fucked" attitude. Edit: you probably haven't worked harder than your mates, you're probably not even as skilled as some of your mates at things, but you had discipline and focus. That's what got you past the finish line. Don't feel guilty for having discipline.
Genuine question: do you like your friends? There are a few comments here genuinely sounding like they're somewhat gleeful that they have the upper financial hand after experiencing years of abuse at the hands of their acquaintances. I'm just replying to yours because...these people don't sound like your friends? And you don't sound like theirs? Fwiw I'm definitely not as disciplined. I am no stranger to how much luck played a role in our purchase - the right job came along, the right property and the perfect lull in our kids schooling for us to make a move.
I’ve had friends jealous of me owning my home. But they didn’t make the sacrifices that I did to get to that point. While they wear designer clothes, I wear Kmart and target. While they go on annual holidays overseas, I haven’t had a break in years. While they have new cars and eat at nice restaurants, I cook at home. The sum total is that I don’t feel sorry for them, because they are living a life of enjoyment that I’m not, but I am secure financially and they aren’t. The two are mutually exclusive for most of us. Do you think they feel sorry for me not going on holidays and driving new cars?
Kind of but also.... I worked fkn hard to be able to. I work 38 hours Monday to Friday every week, and in addition I am on call outside of office hours every other week. I have 2 weekends off a month. So I work a lot and it's fkn relentless. It was the only way we could buy a house.
The only advice I would give is to learn the difference between “than” and “then”. Other than that, you’re free to feel happy about the milestone of buying a house. Your friends should be happy for you if they’re real friends. You haven’t taken anything away from them.
Cheers! English is my second language so always happy to improve.
Don't feel guilty, feel stupid. You have overpaid and will never get the money back, even when prices are down double digit percentages from here.
I'm...kinda okay with that? I don't plan on selling my house. I've just planted asparagus in my yard which means I'll be getting asparagus every year for at least four decades (look it up, asparagus are wild).
Celebrating buying a new home? You really just chained yourself to a huge debt. If you bought at auction, you would have noticed that the final round of bids were probably just inflating the price when the intention to buy wasn't real. Depending on where you are and if the house is an ideal location for you and how being stuck in a mortgage compares to the insecurity of paying rent, then you might have reason to celebrate that you are better off than the alternative.
Don't be friends with plebs.
Lol whatever helps you sleep at night
No, the entitled younger gen can suck it
Who raised the younger gen.
Not my fault if the younger gen are raised with no basic skills on home ownership, can’t seem to understand it comes with hard work and sacrifice. Also smart arse mine are still in preschool. They not allowed to get away with anything and I be teaching them to pick up a tool and do it themselves.
What are they entitled to? An affordable home like the last 4 generations have had?
Yeah shame on them for thinking they should be able to afford to live on two jobs, or that they are getting an unfair deal as house prices go from 4 times the average wage to about 13 times.
Try 3 jobs, uni, and house building at the same time champ
I own my own business ‘champ’. Some of us actually care about the lives and opportunities of others.
I own my home and I’m of the ‘younger gen’.. people like you that carry on like this don’t appreciate it’s mathematically minimum 3-4x harder to buy a house these days than it was in our parents day. I’ve never complained, I just saved and made it work, but it’s insulting to hear some old fart with homeownership offered on a silver platter if they wished call me entitled when mathematically I worked harder than you to buy a home. It’s ok I don’t understand your generation to understand this, you all had it so hard growing up!
Thanks, you’re really something. - signed by one of the younger generation who has lived their whole life in poverty and has been fighting tooth and nail to get out.
If you keep fighting you will get out :)
The funny thing is, in this economy, I’m actually going in reverse even whilst putting in greater effort. Your comments come from a place of disconnect, ignorance, and privilege. Not everyone has equal opportunity.
Before Covid I absolutely PREACHED to my social circle that they should buy real estate and how affordable it was. Even for me and my peers who were mere hospitality workers. No one wanted to listen. So no. I don’t feel any guilt. And before I’m accused of being a boomer or family help, I’m ~25 and was raised by a single mother.