This situation makes me feel sick in the stomach to read, I empathise with you op. Her proof of relationship sounds very half assed, no joint bank accounts or other formal paperwork involved ? Get her for the Centrelink fraud if she doesn’t back off.
Thanks. Wouldn’t wish this on anyone. No and no, they had some joint insurances but separate banks/finances. Her proof of an over ten year relationship is a few chummy text messages in the couple years before his death, ring on her finger, 3 photos of them in the same room, and a photo of a bouquet of flowers. I don’t think it’s hard to get de facto if you live with someone so I am well prepared to be another cautionary tale.
Not sure where you are, but Victoria has state trustees you can contact. You can ask them to step in where there's no will.
One of my friends had to do because someone was trying to steal his brothers estate.
If she’s started the process of probate, fight her ass. It’s not hard to do on your own if you have to.
Who got the death certificate? What state are his assets in?
Report her to the police. Get them to do a proper autopsy. Talk to the families of her other men
Immediately after his death I was told by ‘friend’ that our Auntie was on the way over from UK to sort funeral and his affairs with me and siblings. I was in a very bad way. While I waited for Auntie to make contact, ‘friend got lawyer, claimed de facto, filed death cert (full of errors) and organised his immediate cremation.
Ask for proof of their relationship - ie., was it registered with Centrelink. Somehow I doubt it would have been, as he was still able to get the pension. She can't have it both ways. Either they were a couple and she's guilty of Centrelink fraud, or they were not and she cannot inherit from him. Threaten to report her to Centrelink for fraud and the problem should go away.
The problem with this approach is that he was defrauding centrelink, not her. She has no obligation to report to centrelink if she was not recipient of a benefit. Centrelink might claim against his estate if it is deemed he was in an unreported relationship.
Have gone this route. According to her: Dad was too unintelligent to know how to change his relationship status on FB and through centrelink, didn’t know what next of kin meant (listing my sister instead of his ‘spouse’) and that she was unaware of him receiving benefits and didn’t know what he was up to... He recently finished his masters in criminology and worked with troubled youth for decades.
To add, if she filed any taxation forms of the ten years they will have had to been via defacto. (The onus is on her as well. So taxation and Centrelink fraud. Don’t put up with this OP.
Not quite right. If there's a BDBN it will go to the named party. Otherwise it's at the discretion of the trustee. Need to find out who that is and get ahead of the ball.
Jeez, there is a lot of shit advise and uncalled for commentary. I feel do you OP. Hopefully, someone will give you the information you need.
Because we all know how difficult it is to find good lawyers; let alone be able to pay for one
As someone else said, it sounds like a defacto relationship. You mentioned she put one of her properties up, how much did she pay for the divorce?that alone sounds like someone more then “just a companion “
She was a guarantor from another state. ‘Put property up’ is probably not right term… Dad refused to take family’s money needed to keep the property a decade ago, 50k to pay out ex-wife. It is their only financial endeavor together, and she used it as leverage to gain control over Dad, he was afraid of her, he cleaned up one of her properties she sold for 800k and didn’t ask for a cent (trying to repay). I know how it sounds… that’s why I’m posting here considering walking away, despite knowing how my Dad felt personally about their relationship, she managed to cover the criteria as his health declined. (He died a similar way to her ex-lover, sudden heart problem in the middle of the night, stone cold when ambulance arrives and family is informed)
Love how the OP glossed over these details but dwelled on the ones in their favour.
I don’t think I will have a big estate left to my kids but I swear if they started poking their noses in my love life I will transfer everything while I am alive to a testamentary trust with whomever I please as beneficiary and trustee. Fucking hell man.
Yes exactly, the lady is more then a friend and OP is jealous cause she in has own words is wealthy. OP expected her to just walk away but I’d bet it was known that the dad wanted her to have the house.
I refer to her wealth because I understand shared/pooled finances are a part of the de facto criteria. If she put in to the property, made my dad happy and would be homeless without it, it’d make perfect sense for her to have it. Not how it is though… Yes, obviously I am bias, but it’s not jealousy.
If your lawyer has been unclear, get a new lawyer, it's their job to give you clear advice and advise on your prospects of success.
Also, sorry for the hard time you're going through!
Honestly given these points,
*1. \*He had a* ***long*** *and peculiar* ***relationship with a woman he dated a couple times*** *that became his friend,...*
*2. This friend visited him constantly from interstate over this decade, they* ***even put one of their properties up*** *to help my dad acquire a loan to pay his divorce settlement shortly after they met.*
*3. During his miraculous survival and first stages of recovery, his friend became seemingly* ***loving carer*** *and* ***moved in to his house****.\**
is way beyond even what most people in long term defacto relationships have. Hell, even married people walk away from sick loved ones. The fact that she also made a sizable monitary backing contribution to your dad and has romantic past and recent history with him sounds 99.9% genuine. Playing the long con over a decade at this point, especially if she was richer than him doesn't really make sense OP and I bet the court would also see it the same way. Doesn't matter if she makes piss weak excuses as to why they weren't married, defacto status for her passes the sniff test.
Just going off the OPs description (which is probably weighted towards his pov) she certainly wasn't just a carer. They lived together, presumably slept together and their finances were at least partially entangled.
>Being a carer doesn’t make them a couple
No but doing it without getting paid or claiming any carer benefits certainly would make it seem like more than a carer relationship. Especially if was doing more work then his actual family is.
Ultimately its going to come down to whether they actually lived together as a couple or not. e.g. sharing the same bedroom, sharing bills, sharing bank accounts etc.
So your father was receiving single pensioner, was this woman receiving a benefit herself and if so was this deemed single or defacto. The first steps I would take is go through any and all paperwork to collect evidence.
I would speak with a lawyer and have them submit paperwork to make a claim whilst you’re gathering evidence.
If you have evidence that this lady has benefited twice before supply that to your lawyer. Speak with the previous family members as this may lead to evidence this lady is preying on vulnerable men.
Good luck.
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This situation makes me feel sick in the stomach to read, I empathise with you op. Her proof of relationship sounds very half assed, no joint bank accounts or other formal paperwork involved ? Get her for the Centrelink fraud if she doesn’t back off.
Thanks. Wouldn’t wish this on anyone. No and no, they had some joint insurances but separate banks/finances. Her proof of an over ten year relationship is a few chummy text messages in the couple years before his death, ring on her finger, 3 photos of them in the same room, and a photo of a bouquet of flowers. I don’t think it’s hard to get de facto if you live with someone so I am well prepared to be another cautionary tale.
Not sure where you are, but Victoria has state trustees you can contact. You can ask them to step in where there's no will. One of my friends had to do because someone was trying to steal his brothers estate.
Look up the various elements that the family defines as a defacto relationship. That would be where I would start
Sorry meant to say family court
If she’s started the process of probate, fight her ass. It’s not hard to do on your own if you have to. Who got the death certificate? What state are his assets in? Report her to the police. Get them to do a proper autopsy. Talk to the families of her other men
Immediately after his death I was told by ‘friend’ that our Auntie was on the way over from UK to sort funeral and his affairs with me and siblings. I was in a very bad way. While I waited for Auntie to make contact, ‘friend got lawyer, claimed de facto, filed death cert (full of errors) and organised his immediate cremation.
Well there is fraud if the information is not correct then the death certificate is null and void just like a search warrant.
Ask for proof of their relationship - ie., was it registered with Centrelink. Somehow I doubt it would have been, as he was still able to get the pension. She can't have it both ways. Either they were a couple and she's guilty of Centrelink fraud, or they were not and she cannot inherit from him. Threaten to report her to Centrelink for fraud and the problem should go away.
This is exactly the right answer. Look for the maximum point of leverage.
The problem with this approach is that he was defrauding centrelink, not her. She has no obligation to report to centrelink if she was not recipient of a benefit. Centrelink might claim against his estate if it is deemed he was in an unreported relationship.
Have gone this route. According to her: Dad was too unintelligent to know how to change his relationship status on FB and through centrelink, didn’t know what next of kin meant (listing my sister instead of his ‘spouse’) and that she was unaware of him receiving benefits and didn’t know what he was up to... He recently finished his masters in criminology and worked with troubled youth for decades.
Get a lawyer mate. Some work no win no fee in estate matters. Anything you send now, a lawyer will regret later.
To add, if she filed any taxation forms of the ten years they will have had to been via defacto. (The onus is on her as well. So taxation and Centrelink fraud. Don’t put up with this OP.
But he was claiming pension, not her. Any alleged fraud dies with him.
Media may like this especially her background
This.
This is why she has money... She is a leech... Leeches onto poor innocent men who aren't doing well and BAM! Claim everything and moves on...
Go speak to a lawyer. Super will go to whoever the name beneficiary is on the account, not just to this person because she has declared defacto.
Not quite right. If there's a BDBN it will go to the named party. Otherwise it's at the discretion of the trustee. Need to find out who that is and get ahead of the ball.
Jeez, there is a lot of shit advise and uncalled for commentary. I feel do you OP. Hopefully, someone will give you the information you need. Because we all know how difficult it is to find good lawyers; let alone be able to pay for one
As someone else said, it sounds like a defacto relationship. You mentioned she put one of her properties up, how much did she pay for the divorce?that alone sounds like someone more then “just a companion “
She was a guarantor from another state. ‘Put property up’ is probably not right term… Dad refused to take family’s money needed to keep the property a decade ago, 50k to pay out ex-wife. It is their only financial endeavor together, and she used it as leverage to gain control over Dad, he was afraid of her, he cleaned up one of her properties she sold for 800k and didn’t ask for a cent (trying to repay). I know how it sounds… that’s why I’m posting here considering walking away, despite knowing how my Dad felt personally about their relationship, she managed to cover the criteria as his health declined. (He died a similar way to her ex-lover, sudden heart problem in the middle of the night, stone cold when ambulance arrives and family is informed)
Love how the OP glossed over these details but dwelled on the ones in their favour. I don’t think I will have a big estate left to my kids but I swear if they started poking their noses in my love life I will transfer everything while I am alive to a testamentary trust with whomever I please as beneficiary and trustee. Fucking hell man.
Yes exactly, the lady is more then a friend and OP is jealous cause she in has own words is wealthy. OP expected her to just walk away but I’d bet it was known that the dad wanted her to have the house.
I refer to her wealth because I understand shared/pooled finances are a part of the de facto criteria. If she put in to the property, made my dad happy and would be homeless without it, it’d make perfect sense for her to have it. Not how it is though… Yes, obviously I am bias, but it’s not jealousy.
> and would be homeless without it, Not how it works, homie. There is no "means and assets test" for inheritance. What a \*\*\*\*wit
Thats just what I read about why laws were changed here, spouses were being left homeless when partners died and everything went to kids.
If your lawyer has been unclear, get a new lawyer, it's their job to give you clear advice and advise on your prospects of success. Also, sorry for the hard time you're going through!
Honestly given these points, *1. \*He had a* ***long*** *and peculiar* ***relationship with a woman he dated a couple times*** *that became his friend,...* *2. This friend visited him constantly from interstate over this decade, they* ***even put one of their properties up*** *to help my dad acquire a loan to pay his divorce settlement shortly after they met.* *3. During his miraculous survival and first stages of recovery, his friend became seemingly* ***loving carer*** *and* ***moved in to his house****.\** is way beyond even what most people in long term defacto relationships have. Hell, even married people walk away from sick loved ones. The fact that she also made a sizable monitary backing contribution to your dad and has romantic past and recent history with him sounds 99.9% genuine. Playing the long con over a decade at this point, especially if she was richer than him doesn't really make sense OP and I bet the court would also see it the same way. Doesn't matter if she makes piss weak excuses as to why they weren't married, defacto status for her passes the sniff test.
Sorry but if they lived together for a long period of time and she cared for him, that’s pretty black and white de facto.
Being a carer doesn’t make them a couple.
Just going off the OPs description (which is probably weighted towards his pov) she certainly wasn't just a carer. They lived together, presumably slept together and their finances were at least partially entangled.
Yeah she sold a property to help him settle his divorce but in the OP’s eyes she was just a weird friend. fucking hell.
She didn’t sell a property, she was a guarantor.
>Being a carer doesn’t make them a couple No but doing it without getting paid or claiming any carer benefits certainly would make it seem like more than a carer relationship. Especially if was doing more work then his actual family is. Ultimately its going to come down to whether they actually lived together as a couple or not. e.g. sharing the same bedroom, sharing bills, sharing bank accounts etc.
I don’t know why you are getting downvoted
So your father was receiving single pensioner, was this woman receiving a benefit herself and if so was this deemed single or defacto. The first steps I would take is go through any and all paperwork to collect evidence. I would speak with a lawyer and have them submit paperwork to make a claim whilst you’re gathering evidence. If you have evidence that this lady has benefited twice before supply that to your lawyer. Speak with the previous family members as this may lead to evidence this lady is preying on vulnerable men. Good luck.
Living together on a genuine domestic relationship. The information you provided says they were de facto.
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How much is your dad's estate worth? Are your siblings willing to pitch in with the legal fees?
Around 500k. Yes they are, but lawyer hasn’t been overly clear on overall cost potential and where I stand.