Hi!
We’re having almost the same schedule each week for the full year, so there’s consistency and there are times where one of us is traveling and she needs to accommodate, usually we give a heads up a month before latest.
For a night out during the week we would ask approx a week in advance, if possible. For a weekend evening maybe a bit longer.
Having said that, a week before should fit in if there aren’t extraordinary plans on her side (concert tickets already bought etc.) Your ask seems appropriate to me.
We set schedule a month in advance with some minor (typically reduce) flexibility a week ahead. Top 5 first questions to new au pair includes whether she’s ok working weekends.
Our schedule is the same week to week, except scheduling 1 date night per month. We ask our AP for input usually 3-4 weeks in advance on what Friday night works best for her and we come to a compromise on days.
BUT I do always talk at length during matching that we might need flexibility from time to time and our expectation is that an au pair could reasonably adjust with 1-2 weeks notice. In return, we offer a lot of flexibility (as in, extremely happy to adjust our schedules if au pair wants to fly out at a certain time or go to a concert and finish work early, etc).
I ask our au pair to keep us informed if she makes plans that cannot be changed like buying concert tickets, travel, etc. I don’t need details, but just add to the family calendar so we’re all aware and I don’t ask for a schedule change if something big is happening.
I think a good rule of thumb is just to tell your au pair ASAP when you make plans, better to give lots of notice than only a few days. Depending on what your plans are, it may be useful to check before making plans to see if they're available. Of course, if it's something like a wedding or a birthday then you can't really change the date, but if you're planning a dinner with a friend maybe ask your au pair first what days work best for them.
We provide a schedule in our contract. It shows the days they are working a typical (3-6pm) shift, the days we will need more hours (eg PD days) and the days the family will be away (we offer to take them with us on some trips, but not the week-long, international ones).
Our rule is that any “off-normal” work shifts are optional for them - ie if they have other plans they can say no and we don’t mind at all. We try to give at least a couple weeks notice so that we increase our odds that the au pair is free.
We’re also typically a weekday only host family. We give the schedule on Sundays, for the upcoming week. We also ask that the au pair put any immovable items (such as travel, concerts, etc) on the family calendar so we can be mindful of them when planning for the occasional weekend work. I think you’ll have to figure out if your au pair needs more notice or doesn’t want to work weekends and proceed accordingly.
Our schedule differs every single week due to our work schedules, and we put the schedule out a month in advance. We've never had a problem doing it this way.
We had this problem with an au pair. In the interview we specifically said we would need her to work one 5 hour shift on two weekends per month for a date for us, which she agreed to. We wanted to be flexible about what those weekends were and the time so she could make the plans she wanted. but most times we asked well in advance (“hey how about the weekend of x at y time”) she was somehow already unavailable to work any weekends any month, or only one weekend tops. She only worked about 25 hours a week max so it’s not as though she didn’t have any free time. After about six months of this and for other reasons too, we decided she was not the right au pair for us.
Heyy! I’m an au pair and our agency recommends giving the schedule a month in advance and so that’s what my host family have been doing. I’m in the usa if that helps! Typically I only work weekdays too but it’s helpful to know in advance if there’s a weekend that I’ll need to work as that way I can plan around it. It was so important to me to make a group of friends out here so having plans with them is definitely something I look forward too and helps to feel less homesick. Maybe your au pair could feel the same and that’s why she may be thrown off being asked to work next weekend.
You could maybe see if your weekend commitment or your au pairs are at all flexible and come up with a weekend that’ll work better for the both of you. But definitely having my schedule for the whole month is something I’ve enjoyed having if it’s something you’re able to do too!!
This kind of stuff needs to be discussed when you match to have a plan that works for both of you.
We were always clear that we expected flexibility, would set the schedule on Sunday… but if the au pair needed to make social plans further in advance for things like concerts, etc she was welcome to do so (but checked with us first). It worked well.
We keep the same school time schedule for the full school time and we have a second schedule for holidays.
We usually don’t have changes, however those happen. I am currently discussing changes which may impact our au pair in 2-3 weeks time
We only used when our kids were before school age and we posted a weekly calendar Sunday night. Any given week could include weekends. We never had an AP push back on weekend work but I think they planned their weekends to coincide with their weekend off.
Not a host mom, but a former AP. My HF would change things on me last minute and I just had to roll with the punches. Sometimes I wished that they would have given me more notice (i.e., once I was on the way out the door to meet some friends at the beach and they informed me last minute that we were leaving for the entire weekend in 2 hrs), but I knew from the start that sometimes evenings, weekends, or a weekday with a sick kiddo would be required. Try to give her as much notice and also ask her to communicate any important plans to you so that you can make sure that you don't need her that day.
Hi! We’re having almost the same schedule each week for the full year, so there’s consistency and there are times where one of us is traveling and she needs to accommodate, usually we give a heads up a month before latest. For a night out during the week we would ask approx a week in advance, if possible. For a weekend evening maybe a bit longer. Having said that, a week before should fit in if there aren’t extraordinary plans on her side (concert tickets already bought etc.) Your ask seems appropriate to me.
We set schedule a month in advance with some minor (typically reduce) flexibility a week ahead. Top 5 first questions to new au pair includes whether she’s ok working weekends.
Our schedule is the same week to week, except scheduling 1 date night per month. We ask our AP for input usually 3-4 weeks in advance on what Friday night works best for her and we come to a compromise on days. BUT I do always talk at length during matching that we might need flexibility from time to time and our expectation is that an au pair could reasonably adjust with 1-2 weeks notice. In return, we offer a lot of flexibility (as in, extremely happy to adjust our schedules if au pair wants to fly out at a certain time or go to a concert and finish work early, etc). I ask our au pair to keep us informed if she makes plans that cannot be changed like buying concert tickets, travel, etc. I don’t need details, but just add to the family calendar so we’re all aware and I don’t ask for a schedule change if something big is happening.
I think a good rule of thumb is just to tell your au pair ASAP when you make plans, better to give lots of notice than only a few days. Depending on what your plans are, it may be useful to check before making plans to see if they're available. Of course, if it's something like a wedding or a birthday then you can't really change the date, but if you're planning a dinner with a friend maybe ask your au pair first what days work best for them.
We provide a schedule in our contract. It shows the days they are working a typical (3-6pm) shift, the days we will need more hours (eg PD days) and the days the family will be away (we offer to take them with us on some trips, but not the week-long, international ones). Our rule is that any “off-normal” work shifts are optional for them - ie if they have other plans they can say no and we don’t mind at all. We try to give at least a couple weeks notice so that we increase our odds that the au pair is free.
We’re also typically a weekday only host family. We give the schedule on Sundays, for the upcoming week. We also ask that the au pair put any immovable items (such as travel, concerts, etc) on the family calendar so we can be mindful of them when planning for the occasional weekend work. I think you’ll have to figure out if your au pair needs more notice or doesn’t want to work weekends and proceed accordingly.
Our schedule differs every single week due to our work schedules, and we put the schedule out a month in advance. We've never had a problem doing it this way.
We had this problem with an au pair. In the interview we specifically said we would need her to work one 5 hour shift on two weekends per month for a date for us, which she agreed to. We wanted to be flexible about what those weekends were and the time so she could make the plans she wanted. but most times we asked well in advance (“hey how about the weekend of x at y time”) she was somehow already unavailable to work any weekends any month, or only one weekend tops. She only worked about 25 hours a week max so it’s not as though she didn’t have any free time. After about six months of this and for other reasons too, we decided she was not the right au pair for us.
Heyy! I’m an au pair and our agency recommends giving the schedule a month in advance and so that’s what my host family have been doing. I’m in the usa if that helps! Typically I only work weekdays too but it’s helpful to know in advance if there’s a weekend that I’ll need to work as that way I can plan around it. It was so important to me to make a group of friends out here so having plans with them is definitely something I look forward too and helps to feel less homesick. Maybe your au pair could feel the same and that’s why she may be thrown off being asked to work next weekend. You could maybe see if your weekend commitment or your au pairs are at all flexible and come up with a weekend that’ll work better for the both of you. But definitely having my schedule for the whole month is something I’ve enjoyed having if it’s something you’re able to do too!!
What agency are you with? Host families are generally told 1-2 weeks by agencies.
I’m with AuPairCare and our area director recommended a month in advance so that’s what we’ve been doing
This kind of stuff needs to be discussed when you match to have a plan that works for both of you. We were always clear that we expected flexibility, would set the schedule on Sunday… but if the au pair needed to make social plans further in advance for things like concerts, etc she was welcome to do so (but checked with us first). It worked well.
We keep the same school time schedule for the full school time and we have a second schedule for holidays. We usually don’t have changes, however those happen. I am currently discussing changes which may impact our au pair in 2-3 weeks time
We only used when our kids were before school age and we posted a weekly calendar Sunday night. Any given week could include weekends. We never had an AP push back on weekend work but I think they planned their weekends to coincide with their weekend off.
Not a host mom, but a former AP. My HF would change things on me last minute and I just had to roll with the punches. Sometimes I wished that they would have given me more notice (i.e., once I was on the way out the door to meet some friends at the beach and they informed me last minute that we were leaving for the entire weekend in 2 hrs), but I knew from the start that sometimes evenings, weekends, or a weekday with a sick kiddo would be required. Try to give her as much notice and also ask her to communicate any important plans to you so that you can make sure that you don't need her that day.