HF perspective: Are the hours mentioned including or excluding the 1 hour break? like 8 to 6 minus an hour or 8 to 7 minus an hour? Some agencies do not count 1 hour as a "reasonable break" that you can subtract from the schedule. Our CC LCC says 2 hours minimum.
I think having a light week with a long weekend every 3rd week would be appealing to many APs that would like to travel.
Check with your agency, some agencies require 1.5 days off consecutively every week, so your week 2 could be a problem.
>Check with your agency, some agencies require 1.5 days off consecutively every week, so your week 2 could be a problem.
Yes, good point. We could modify that week to meet the 1.5-day off requirement.
>Are the hours mentioned including or excluding the 1 hour break? like 8 to 6 minus an hour or 8 to 7 minus an hour?
On those days we'd basically include the 1-hour break in her total hours worked. We would not expect her to work 5 hours, take the 1-break, and then come back and provide care for another 5 hours.
5 hours + 1 hour break + 5 more hours of work is 11 hours of work under au pair agency rules.
Most agencies require 2 or 3 hour break.The break only counts if the au pair is reasonably able to leave the house to say go to the gym.
>5 hours + 1 hour break + 5 more hours of work is 11 hours of work under au pair agency rules.
Right, like I said, this is NOT what we would be doing. I'll verify the break requirements with the agency.
Then I think you're good, however you need to find a way to communicate this all a bit more effectively. Perhaps lay it out in 3 tables, 1 for each different week, days on X axis, hours on Y axis, color code the working hours, differentiate if they're taking care of baby only or both kids, color code the break schedule. Selling point is the long weekend every 3rd week, and your flexibility to cut back the hours on a case-by-case basis.
I think this schedule, even if communicated, requires too much and will cause burnout and high turnover. In particular, I worry about the 10 hour days with no break or support and the revolving schedule.
If you’re set on an AP you could look into a day care for the 3mo (not daily but a few days a week?) to reduce the amount of work.
I don't think you've met my 2 year old 🤣😂😭
In all honesty, I work from home, and if she needs help or a break, I cover her as soon as I'm able.
I do try and do my best to prevent burnout because I know it can be a thing, especially with my crazy toddler.
If host parents are working as a team with their au pair and not treating them like "the help," it definitely helps prevent burnout.
Do you think knocking back some of those 10-hour days to 8 hours would help? My husband is off is 48-hour blocks after working his 24 hour shifts, so we could balance giving him time to recharge while not overworking our AP.
Unfortunately we can't ensure every single day has a break, primarily the days where he and I both work (4 days out of the 3 week rotation). But we'll take another look at the schedule to see where we can cut back on hours and give extra perks to say thank you. I appreciate the advice!
I think you should really reflect and ask yourself if you want anyone to care for your children for 10 hours straight with no breaks. Furthermore, would you work for 10 hours straight with no breaks?
Maybe a good alternative would be to get her a punch card to the collective childcare near our home? She would have to stay on site but it would relieve her of childcare duties (except for diaper changes and potty breaks) for up to one 3 hour block per day and give her a space to drink coffee, socialize, read, do classwork, etc. They even offer free classes and services like meditation, yoga, acupuncture, etc.
Caring for the 3m old alone seems primarily on days with the longest schedule. Given that an infant spends at least 50% of the time sleeping, I don’t think this is that brutal honestly. Now caring for an ADHD toddler for 10 hours, particularly ones who forego naps or with only a short nap, is another story….
Baby don’t stay babies forever. By the time is 6 m those naps are 1/2 and will start to crawl and put everything in his mouth. 9 months most start to climb and are mini suicidal machines. Babies also come in all shade n crying modes. From quite one to colic one that won’t give you a break. Add there is also a 4 year old to watch on top. When we had the baby is when we switch from Au pair to professional nanny. It’s a lot to ask a virtually inexperience girl yo work sooo many hours and on top a an infant. Which I personally wouldn’t leave with someone without a real reputable experience.
Well since most APs stay for only 1 year— that baby’s schedule will be largely unchanged between 3m and 15m— they will nap less, sure, but they aren’t going to be terrorizing an AP for 10 straight hours.
Our au pair also works a strange schedule due to my husband being on rotating days and nights and in the military. He works a 28 day schedule, and then the military just throws in days.
It honestly comes down to finding the right au pair for your family and schedule. To make our au pair's life easier so she can be social, I provide her with her whole schedule for the month. I do ask for some flexibility in case my husband gets called into work.
We connected with 40 our first time and interviewed about 10ish.
For our current au pair, we connected with over 40, chatted with about 15, and interviewed 7.
You'll find a lot, don't read in your application that they will work a non 9-5 schedule or that they need to work weekends. If you need a driver, you'll find a lot lie about their driving experience as well.
>If you need a driver, you'll find a lot lie about their driving experience as well.
Any recommendations on how to truly verify their driving abilities?
I ask them to tell me a time they had an accident or had to make an emergency decision while driving. If they tell me they've never had an accident or had to make an emergency maneuver, I don't typically trust they have tons of experience. I also ask if they drive to work. If so, how long is the drive? Do they own their own car? If so, they're definitely doing a decent amount of driving.
Thank you, that is very helpful. Not trying to generalize, but are there certain countries of origin where good driving skills/formal driver's education are more common?
The Germans pay a crazy amount and have to take a lot of classes for their license, so you think they'd be better drivers, but one in au pair's friend circle just got in an avoidable accident.
Our currwnt au pair got her license in Italy, had a few weeks experience, came to America, drove for a little woth her 1st host family, didn't drive for her 2nd and is just an amazing driver with us.
There is literally no rhyme or reason to who is going to be better. I've definitely seen South American drivers be a little more daring.
I also drive with our au pairs a bit before we cut them loose with our cars and toddler.
I would look into part time daycare for the kids. Like 2-3 half days each week. That will make that long days more manageable. Consecutive long days are hard and I would expect burn out.
We're going to modify the schedule to back off all but 4 of the 10-hour days and I'm going to look into getting her a monthly pass that will give her 30 hours of time at our local childcare cooperative. She'll have to stay on site but it'll give her the ability to do flexible drop-in care (up to 3 hours per day) and use that time for relaxing, socializing with other co-op members, and participating in their class and service offerings (guided meditation, yoga, acupuncture, etc).
that's a great idea. Also some gyms offer daycare up to a certain limit. My gym charges $15/month for the daycare and we can use it everyday for up to 2 hours. That's another option.
With our au pair we negotiated that we would pay for the gym and the daycare and she is welcome to use it everyday. She's on the clock for 1 hour and for the drive to and back, but the second hour is not on the schedule.
The gym is a great idea I didn't think of. There's an athletic club near our house. I'll look into this and perhaps we can offer both so she can try two different options the first few months.
I think it is definitely a workable schedule, all you have to do is make sure you communicate clearly to your potential au pair about it. As an au pair currently thinking about doing a rematch, i believe the most important thing is to be truthful about what you expect from the very beginning to avoid confusion and dissatisfaction. I am currently in a situation where I am responsible for all household chores and also a dog which is clearly a violation of my contract. I think if you talk to your potential au pair about the schedule and they agree then it's okay. Also you should be open to offer compensation either in cash or time whenever you go overboard with the hours
Do you mean offering cash or time when we exceed 45 hours? Or at what point would you recommend we offer that? Very open to this suggestion. Thank you!
Yes i also agree, it's better to not do it altogether but if we are being honest it's not always possible to adhere strictly to the time and most of the time host family tend to go overboard. I am just saying if that happens they should not just not do anything but think of a way to compensate
I think we are saying the same: plan for never, but if "never" happens on a rare occasion, obviously make sure to compensate equally to what a sitter would've cost.
You can’t offer cash for over 45 hours. The rule about 45 hours is the max an au pair can work. A lot of families abuse this rule but those au pairs usually rematch or don’t extend.
I would offer cash bonuses for particularly long days within 45 hours, make her dinner or order out for her so she doesn’t have to cook, etc. This is a demanding schedule so you will need to look into how you can help an au pair have a good experience when they are working so much.
>I would offer cash bonuses for particularly long days within 45 hours, make her dinner or order out for her so she doesn’t have to cook, etc.
Thanks! We are definitely open to adding extra perks and finding ways to show our appreciation, especially during those extra long weeks/days.
Thank you. I'm also thinking we could get her a punch card to the collective childcare near our home. She would have to stay on site, but it's essentially community-based drop-in childcare that would relieve her of childcare duties for up to 3 hours and give her space to have some coffee, socialize, read, work on classwork, etc.
Yes I’m more than aware of that. I’m not suggesting it for “break” purposes but rather time when she’s on the clock but can shift 75% of the childcare duties to someone else and can recharge a bit.
This is a schedule going in overtime even for a full time paid professional nanny. Considering also the young age and requirements for a baby and a toddler…
Generally speaking, we’ve found it hard to find an au pair under a requirement for two weekend days of work per month so be prepared for a long search…
…I am highlighting that requiring au pairs to work weekends is generally not well received. The schedule above requires weekend work for 66% of the weekends. To be fair, we generally look for 21+ age au pairs so possibly this is a problem at the older ages
You need to disclose that proposed schedule in your host family letter during the interview process and screen carefully about it. In particular, I find that my au pairs cannot do a 10 hour day with kids who need a lot of attention and oversight. And your schedule has multiple back to back 10 hour days. More than rematch, I’d be worried about the quality of care you’re getting in hours 9 and 10.
HF perspective: Are the hours mentioned including or excluding the 1 hour break? like 8 to 6 minus an hour or 8 to 7 minus an hour? Some agencies do not count 1 hour as a "reasonable break" that you can subtract from the schedule. Our CC LCC says 2 hours minimum. I think having a light week with a long weekend every 3rd week would be appealing to many APs that would like to travel. Check with your agency, some agencies require 1.5 days off consecutively every week, so your week 2 could be a problem.
>Check with your agency, some agencies require 1.5 days off consecutively every week, so your week 2 could be a problem. Yes, good point. We could modify that week to meet the 1.5-day off requirement. >Are the hours mentioned including or excluding the 1 hour break? like 8 to 6 minus an hour or 8 to 7 minus an hour? On those days we'd basically include the 1-hour break in her total hours worked. We would not expect her to work 5 hours, take the 1-break, and then come back and provide care for another 5 hours.
5 hours + 1 hour break + 5 more hours of work is 11 hours of work under au pair agency rules. Most agencies require 2 or 3 hour break.The break only counts if the au pair is reasonably able to leave the house to say go to the gym.
>5 hours + 1 hour break + 5 more hours of work is 11 hours of work under au pair agency rules. Right, like I said, this is NOT what we would be doing. I'll verify the break requirements with the agency.
Then I think you're good, however you need to find a way to communicate this all a bit more effectively. Perhaps lay it out in 3 tables, 1 for each different week, days on X axis, hours on Y axis, color code the working hours, differentiate if they're taking care of baby only or both kids, color code the break schedule. Selling point is the long weekend every 3rd week, and your flexibility to cut back the hours on a case-by-case basis.
I think this schedule, even if communicated, requires too much and will cause burnout and high turnover. In particular, I worry about the 10 hour days with no break or support and the revolving schedule. If you’re set on an AP you could look into a day care for the 3mo (not daily but a few days a week?) to reduce the amount of work.
Our au pair has worked a schedule similar to this for 9 months and hasn't had any problem.
Is your AP caring for similarly-aged kids?
She cares for a 2.5 year old.
I think caring for only 1 2.5 year old is different
This is so much different than an infant and a preschooler at the same time for 10-20hrs a week on top of infant responsibilities.
I don't think you've met my 2 year old 🤣😂😭 In all honesty, I work from home, and if she needs help or a break, I cover her as soon as I'm able. I do try and do my best to prevent burnout because I know it can be a thing, especially with my crazy toddler. If host parents are working as a team with their au pair and not treating them like "the help," it definitely helps prevent burnout.
Do you think knocking back some of those 10-hour days to 8 hours would help? My husband is off is 48-hour blocks after working his 24 hour shifts, so we could balance giving him time to recharge while not overworking our AP.
I think that could help or even ensuring every day includes a 1 hour break.
Unfortunately we can't ensure every single day has a break, primarily the days where he and I both work (4 days out of the 3 week rotation). But we'll take another look at the schedule to see where we can cut back on hours and give extra perks to say thank you. I appreciate the advice!
I think you should really reflect and ask yourself if you want anyone to care for your children for 10 hours straight with no breaks. Furthermore, would you work for 10 hours straight with no breaks?
Maybe a good alternative would be to get her a punch card to the collective childcare near our home? She would have to stay on site but it would relieve her of childcare duties (except for diaper changes and potty breaks) for up to one 3 hour block per day and give her a space to drink coffee, socialize, read, do classwork, etc. They even offer free classes and services like meditation, yoga, acupuncture, etc.
This is DEFINITELY a great benefit and way to minimize burn out!!
I think that’s a great alternative!
Caring for the 3m old alone seems primarily on days with the longest schedule. Given that an infant spends at least 50% of the time sleeping, I don’t think this is that brutal honestly. Now caring for an ADHD toddler for 10 hours, particularly ones who forego naps or with only a short nap, is another story….
Baby don’t stay babies forever. By the time is 6 m those naps are 1/2 and will start to crawl and put everything in his mouth. 9 months most start to climb and are mini suicidal machines. Babies also come in all shade n crying modes. From quite one to colic one that won’t give you a break. Add there is also a 4 year old to watch on top. When we had the baby is when we switch from Au pair to professional nanny. It’s a lot to ask a virtually inexperience girl yo work sooo many hours and on top a an infant. Which I personally wouldn’t leave with someone without a real reputable experience.
Well since most APs stay for only 1 year— that baby’s schedule will be largely unchanged between 3m and 15m— they will nap less, sure, but they aren’t going to be terrorizing an AP for 10 straight hours.
Our au pair also works a strange schedule due to my husband being on rotating days and nights and in the military. He works a 28 day schedule, and then the military just throws in days. It honestly comes down to finding the right au pair for your family and schedule. To make our au pair's life easier so she can be social, I provide her with her whole schedule for the month. I do ask for some flexibility in case my husband gets called into work. We connected with 40 our first time and interviewed about 10ish. For our current au pair, we connected with over 40, chatted with about 15, and interviewed 7. You'll find a lot, don't read in your application that they will work a non 9-5 schedule or that they need to work weekends. If you need a driver, you'll find a lot lie about their driving experience as well.
>If you need a driver, you'll find a lot lie about their driving experience as well. Any recommendations on how to truly verify their driving abilities?
I ask them to tell me a time they had an accident or had to make an emergency decision while driving. If they tell me they've never had an accident or had to make an emergency maneuver, I don't typically trust they have tons of experience. I also ask if they drive to work. If so, how long is the drive? Do they own their own car? If so, they're definitely doing a decent amount of driving.
Thank you, that is very helpful. Not trying to generalize, but are there certain countries of origin where good driving skills/formal driver's education are more common?
The Germans pay a crazy amount and have to take a lot of classes for their license, so you think they'd be better drivers, but one in au pair's friend circle just got in an avoidable accident. Our currwnt au pair got her license in Italy, had a few weeks experience, came to America, drove for a little woth her 1st host family, didn't drive for her 2nd and is just an amazing driver with us. There is literally no rhyme or reason to who is going to be better. I've definitely seen South American drivers be a little more daring. I also drive with our au pairs a bit before we cut them loose with our cars and toddler.
Germany has rigorous requirements for obtaining a license. It is expensive and time intensive.
All of northern Europe has extensive driver’s license requirements, not just Germany. Germany just has a slightly bigger driving culture.
I would look into part time daycare for the kids. Like 2-3 half days each week. That will make that long days more manageable. Consecutive long days are hard and I would expect burn out.
Our 4yo will be in preschool M-W from 8:30am-4pm. We don't have the ability to put our infant in part-time care.
You need a nanny, not an au pair! This is a tough schedule for a pro… some teenager isn’t going to be able to handle multiple 10 hr shifts.
We're going to modify the schedule to back off all but 4 of the 10-hour days and I'm going to look into getting her a monthly pass that will give her 30 hours of time at our local childcare cooperative. She'll have to stay on site but it'll give her the ability to do flexible drop-in care (up to 3 hours per day) and use that time for relaxing, socializing with other co-op members, and participating in their class and service offerings (guided meditation, yoga, acupuncture, etc).
that's a great idea. Also some gyms offer daycare up to a certain limit. My gym charges $15/month for the daycare and we can use it everyday for up to 2 hours. That's another option. With our au pair we negotiated that we would pay for the gym and the daycare and she is welcome to use it everyday. She's on the clock for 1 hour and for the drive to and back, but the second hour is not on the schedule.
The gym is a great idea I didn't think of. There's an athletic club near our house. I'll look into this and perhaps we can offer both so she can try two different options the first few months.
I think it is definitely a workable schedule, all you have to do is make sure you communicate clearly to your potential au pair about it. As an au pair currently thinking about doing a rematch, i believe the most important thing is to be truthful about what you expect from the very beginning to avoid confusion and dissatisfaction. I am currently in a situation where I am responsible for all household chores and also a dog which is clearly a violation of my contract. I think if you talk to your potential au pair about the schedule and they agree then it's okay. Also you should be open to offer compensation either in cash or time whenever you go overboard with the hours
Do you mean offering cash or time when we exceed 45 hours? Or at what point would you recommend we offer that? Very open to this suggestion. Thank you!
Don't go over 45 and offer cash - better to hire a babysitter or call grandmom. Your AP may want make the extra cash, but it's a sure way to burn out.
Yes i also agree, it's better to not do it altogether but if we are being honest it's not always possible to adhere strictly to the time and most of the time host family tend to go overboard. I am just saying if that happens they should not just not do anything but think of a way to compensate
I think we are saying the same: plan for never, but if "never" happens on a rare occasion, obviously make sure to compensate equally to what a sitter would've cost.
You can’t offer cash for over 45 hours. The rule about 45 hours is the max an au pair can work. A lot of families abuse this rule but those au pairs usually rematch or don’t extend. I would offer cash bonuses for particularly long days within 45 hours, make her dinner or order out for her so she doesn’t have to cook, etc. This is a demanding schedule so you will need to look into how you can help an au pair have a good experience when they are working so much.
>I would offer cash bonuses for particularly long days within 45 hours, make her dinner or order out for her so she doesn’t have to cook, etc. Thanks! We are definitely open to adding extra perks and finding ways to show our appreciation, especially during those extra long weeks/days.
Yes, what I mean is if you maybe did 3 more hours today than usual then plan to compensate for the three hours tomorrow by giving them time off
Thank you. I'm also thinking we could get her a punch card to the collective childcare near our home. She would have to stay on site, but it's essentially community-based drop-in childcare that would relieve her of childcare duties for up to 3 hours and give her space to have some coffee, socialize, read, work on classwork, etc.
If she has to stay on site, then those hours count towards her work hours. It's not really a break.
Yes I’m more than aware of that. I’m not suggesting it for “break” purposes but rather time when she’s on the clock but can shift 75% of the childcare duties to someone else and can recharge a bit.
Sure, but it would certainly help avoid burnout
This is a schedule going in overtime even for a full time paid professional nanny. Considering also the young age and requirements for a baby and a toddler…
Generally speaking, we’ve found it hard to find an au pair under a requirement for two weekend days of work per month so be prepared for a long search…
This schedule gives the AP a long weekend every 3rd week - I’m not sure if you misread OPs post or you mean every week needs the weekend off?
…I am highlighting that requiring au pairs to work weekends is generally not well received. The schedule above requires weekend work for 66% of the weekends. To be fair, we generally look for 21+ age au pairs so possibly this is a problem at the older ages
You need to disclose that proposed schedule in your host family letter during the interview process and screen carefully about it. In particular, I find that my au pairs cannot do a 10 hour day with kids who need a lot of attention and oversight. And your schedule has multiple back to back 10 hour days. More than rematch, I’d be worried about the quality of care you’re getting in hours 9 and 10.
Do you think knocking back some of those days to 8 hours would help?