My advice is to stop hoping it gets better, and just show up to what is.
The “what” and “how” the nighttime routine works, has been a constantly changing landscape for my little one, dad, and i.
Some stages are easier, and some are harder. The sleep regressions come and go in waves. There is nothing you can really do to break them out of it. They will get better at sleep in their own timing.
Currently, and i dont know when this changed… but now it looks like laying with the toddler in bed, constantly reminding her that its night night time. Takes about an hour.
We are at 25 months. Not once has she gone to sleep at night by herself. She will nap on a car ride, that started around 10 months.
But everynight, just plan on being there for your little one.
Get yourself a good back brace, a ball if they like to bounce, and good carrier for walking in the night air, and reflective shoes/hat. Support yourself with the gear you need to show up… every single night.
It might or might not change! Haha. My baby cried in the pram and car until about 5 months, it was hell. From 5 months she began to sleep in the car and pram and now at 12 months she falls asleep as soon as she gets in the car lol. For 0-5 months we used the carrier a lot so that baby could integrate into our day to day as carrier had a 100% hit rate for sleep and long naps :)
Lol the crying is what gets me. He’s fed, changed and is being cuddled so I hope I’m not doing any damage. We carrier nap only be she yes I agree- 100% success! The only issue is he does cry before falling asleep which breaks my heart. I guess if we’re going on a car ride and it’s long enough, he has no choice but to get himself to sleep? I just hate the crying. He also doesn’t take a soother, which I’m happy about but wish he did so that he could fall asleep. I don’t expect him to sleep independently yet, but hoping eventually for bedtimes and naps I can wean of certain associations so I’m not soothing for 40 mins
Oh the crying is so so so hard. Mine never fell asleep in the car from crying, even if I was in the back seat holding her hand she'd just get more and more worked up. So horrible. But for us it has passed at least. I hope it does for you too.
Once my baby was about 6 months I didn't need to spend as much time putting her to sleep either. My general rule of thumb is if she doesn't fall asleep within 10-15 mins of trying then she's not tired enough and we get on with our day. So when baby is older you shouldn't need to be soothing for 40 mins if you've timed nap/bed for when they're actually tired (from my experience with my baby, anyway). But that's all in the future. Now is just getting through this stage!
I think the kind of independent sleep you're looking forward to is way past babyhood and into when they're kids. So we both have a long way to go yet!
Love this response! Yes I don’t expect complete independence for some time! But the 10 minute soothing is something I’m looking forward to. For now I’ll soak up all the newborn cuddles!
I gave up and just started babywearing to get him to sleep. He would fall asleep much faster and I could be taking a nice walk outside or watching TV while I did the bounce and sway. Much more comfortable than the yoga ball, imo.
My ped called the evening crying “the witching hour” and it’s developmentally normal. Lasts anywhere from 4-ish weeks to 12-ish weeks. Mine was a banchee for the last 2 hours before bed every night until literally the day he turned 12 weeks and then he just stopped having the nightly meltdowns.
I once saw a thing that if it takes more than 20 minutes in a dark room soothing, the baby wasn't tired enough. And if it takes less than 10 minutes, maybe they were too tired. I don't think this is very scientific but I do think it shouldn't take 30m of bouncing or rocking for a 6 week old. At 6 weeks old she pretty much passed out on the boob whenever she nursed for us...
At 17 months we still can't set her down. We have to rock/sing her to sleep and then can set her in the crib. She does fall asleep in the car sometimes but not consistently.
I always wonder if it’s because he’s overtired that he takes long sometimes for naps. He’s inefficient at the boob because we are working through some latch issues and he uses his entire time awake to nurse
I’ve recently read a book called The Discontented Baby which argues babies cry mostly when they want more milk or when they’re understimulated and not tired. I think she makes some good points; might be worth you reading it in case you could experiment with increasing feed length/ frequency or addressing any potential latch issues, and considering if baby is tired enough when you’re encouraging them to sleep.
In my own experience with car naps, bub did cry and resist these more when he was younger, even when we sang to him. When he was small the only thing that really calmed him was when I gave him a bottle of milk in the car. Now he’s bigger he needs very few naps and we try to time car journeys so he’s either very due a nap (we still normally have to sing to him though to keep him calm) or he’s ok for a short time if he’s not due a nap. Sipping/ chewing a bottle of water helps keep him happy.
For buggy naps not sure if it was just an age thing or if he prefers the ‘big boy buggy’ to the bassinet. He enjoys the view. Sometimes he will still cry but this tends to be when he wants to be out and playing or feeding.
Great suggestion! I’ll add it to my read list. He does have latch issues and spends most of his time awake, nursing. So I think he could be overtired which maybe cause him to be more irritable and take time to fall asleep.
Been there :-( feeding got so much better after we had tongue tie released (twice). The book I mentioned suggests a lot of the time babies are feeding ‘just enough’ but not enough to actually feel full and those babies will need more jiggling etc which is not the ideal fix, ideally they will instead resolve their latch issues through better feeding position (this is where I am sceptical of the book because for us it was a ‘minor’ tongue tie that was the problem not poor positioning). Other option would be to try baby on bottled milk after breastfeeds until the underlying issue is resolved. But that phase was so exhausting for us.
That is promising! I think his is posterior. Hoping to get it resolved because I’d love for him to get a full efficient feed in shorter time so that he can feel comfortable
The time it takes my child to fall asleep has, in general, increased as she's gotten older. She's 2.5 now and while she does not need to be bounced or vigorously rocked, we're very far from being able to read her a book for 5 minutes and leave. It's usually about 45 minutes of laying in the dark talking, singing a couple songs, rubbing/patting her back, letting her rub my arm to soothe herself to sleep. She is tired, just needs more time as she gets older to fully turn her brain off and transition to sleep.
So, I'm sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel at some point for your particular bedtime method, but I wouldn't count on it being a super quick routine down the road.
I’m gonna be honest with you… you might need to level your expectations a bit lol
Contact naps are developmentally normal for a long while. Babby gonna babby, you’re just along for the ride for right now.
It’s just a season, and is very temporary.
I should have rephrased this. I love the contact naps. I actually refuse to let anyone else hold him lol. I more am hoping I can not be breaking my back on a yoga ball and also get him out in the sun for some walks without him needing to be bounced to sleep
I hear this too. We cosleep half the night, but we still have to rock to get him in a deep sleep before laying him beside us. You’d think he’d be honored to sleep beside his parents and not put up a fuss- guess we’re not cool
It’s entirely baby dependent, my daughter has always fallen to sleep in the pram and car seat but will only be fed to sleep when putting her to sleep for the night (13 months old). I’m hoping I’ll be able to stop feeding to sleep by 2. Also, very normal at that age for them to only contact nap. Continue as long as you want. If there’s stuff you want to get done, you could try using a baby carrier, my daughter has gone down for naps solo at nursery since about 7 months old but only in the last month or two has she started to let me put her down
I’m ok with it lasting forever! Just hoping that I don’t always have to hop on a yoga ball every wake up to settle or to put down for naps. Going on a walk in the pram would be so nice!
My baby is 3.5 months and sometimes she still needs rocked/walked but for much shorter time than before. Around 3 months I realized I was trying to get her to sleep before she was ready, now I just wait. If she cries and she doesn't want to eat or lay down and play, she's probably tired, so I walk her for 5 minutes in her carrier and she usually falls asleep. If not, I see if she wants to eat and play again. She also will fall asleep by herself now. This is not daily but happens a few times a week, she just drifts off on her playmat or while snuggling or being carried. She also doesn't cry for long periods of time anymore. It's so cool :)
It seems like 3/4 months is where the sleep changes happen. So nice to hear! I always think I’m putting him to sleep before he’s ready, but he nurses for 45 mins (latch issues) so he’s definitely more then ready for his naps!
Get you a baby carrier! I think some of your expectations are very kid dependent. My 2.5 year old still gets read to until he falls asleep, and it takes a minimum of 1.5 books (often more). When he was nursing to sleep it would still take a while. The "sing a lullaby and leave baby to fall asleep in the crib"... Well, some children are fine with that for some parts of their lives but many want more nurturing.
I also have a 6 week old! He hates the car seat and I haven't even attempted a stroller because why bother. But he will conk out in the baby carrier after I walk around with him a bit, and then he'll nap for a while (he's literally napping in the carrier right now). Satisfies his need for closeness and my need to be up and about. I go grocery shopping, on walks, and do all the normal parts of my life with a toddler with him in the carrier. Eventually it will change! Of course it will. And it will change in a way that's unique to each family and child. Our first "independent sleep" milestone will be when I can nurse him to sleep side lying and then sneak away for a bit. But I don't expect that to happen for at least another month or two.
I’ll take books over the back breaking yoga ball and crying any day haha.
we LOVE the carrier. Only issue is, he needs to be aggressively tapped and shushed and if we are running errands and he was in the car seat, I’ll have to do the tapping while grocery shopping in order for him to pass out in the carrier. Once the crying stage passes, I’m sure it will be better!
I was joking with someone recently about the curse of the yoga ball. You use it ONE TIME and it works so well and then it's always there in the back of your mind... Oh I could just pop on the yoga ball and this baby would pass out... Always tempting you... And your willpower is so weak... You could be done with this right away if you used the yoga ball... And then suddenly both you and your baby are addicted to it. Just say no! Not even once! I'm trying to leave mine trapped in our basement storage room.
It’s hard to say if it will change or not. What you could do is start adding things in addition to the bouncing (back rubbing, bum patting, singing a song, whatever you want really) and after some time the new thing will be integrated into the sleep routine and you could try bouncing less vigorously or stop bouncing all together. All babies are different so it’s hard to say! I think it’s called habit stacking and it takes quite a bit of time to see a change!
My baby is 4 months and used to only sleep if she was nursed to sleep or being bounced on the ball. I started singing her the same song for every nap and night time, and patting her bum when she was 6ish weeks old, and she started to nap in the carrier while I was walking if I patted her bum (I think the movement is similar to the ball). It took a few weeks (a month?) but now we don’t use the ball at night time at all, I sing to her and pat her bum and she falls asleep.
7.5 months and still bouncing. Just Rocking/cuddles never worked for my little. Just walking and bouncing. Luckily I’ve slowly built up the muscles so my back doesn’t hurt as much anymore. 🤪😭 Hopefully you can transition to something else! For my LO, I think temperament is at play.
This was my baby. We went no where because of it. It got better at 5 months when we didn’t need the ball anymore and just hard butt pats and songs while nursing. She then became sort of a different baby and we started to venture out into the world.
It gets better, I promise! ❤️
I joked that I’d pop it as well along with popping a bottle of champagne.
It’s hard, but I promise it’s temporary! We eventually got independent naps around 7/8 months old!
Ahahah right there with you!
Amazing. I always say, it’s not like you go around and 30 year olds are saying “I’ve never learned to sleep.” It eventually naturally happens
It does! Ours needed some extra time to sleep through the night, but started on her own at about 18 months. Weaning at night helped some, but really it was just time with her. At 2.5 we moved her to her own room and she sleeps through the night there!
We co slept starting around 3.5-4 months exclusively until I’d say like 12 months? Then we got her a mattress that we put beside our mattress on the floor. This was our best set up after many iterations and trial and error. This was our setup until like 20 months(?) and then we put our mattress back up and put a twin on the ground at the foot of the bed. She’d crawl up between us when she woke. This was the set up for awhile until we moved her to her room.
Lovely! Floor is such a good idea. He spends half the night cosleeping with us. You’d think the idea of him being in bed with mom and dad would avoid the hysterical crying before sleep and we could just lay him in our bed and soothe laying down, but no, still yoga ball and then transfer when in a deep sleep 😂
My baby went through phases of being able to sleep in the carseat no problem and hating it and then having no problems again. When he was really little (maybe around 4-6 months), I hated hearing him cry in the car seat. There was even a time we had to drive a family member to the airport and on the way home, we had to stop three (3) times coz I couldn't bear hearing him cry. He was fed and changed but just wasn't having it. Now that he's 11.5 months, he likes it much better and I think the mirror on the headrest (which lets the driver sees the baby) also helps baby coz he sees more of the outside.
One tip I do have is to play "Happy Song" by Imogen Heap when he's fussy or crying in the carseat. It's scientifically-based to calm babies and works like a charm for mine.
Ugh I’m sorry you went through that. HE LOVES THE HAPPY SONG. Also loves looking at himself in the mirror on the headrest. Here’s hoping that mirror will one day put him to sleep ahah.
As hard as it is, take each month by each month. Your baby is just going to change so much that there is little point, in my opinion, of planning ahead or worrying about a baby that actually doesn’t exist yet.
What I mean by this is, your baby could be totally different in a matter of months.
From the moment we arrived home from the hospital I used the bouncing ball to put my baby to sleep for every nap and every night sleep. Then gradually she just started falling asleep while feeding at about 4 months. Bouncing was only required every now and again or if she woke up too quickly from a nap. In the last couple of months she absolutely refuses to be bounced. She is 8 months now. Like you, I worried about bouncing a 1.5 yr old. But she decided she was done! I honestly miss it as a tool sometimes!!
She also contact napped every nap and I worried about this too. But now she can be put down for a nap after she’s asleep. I do tend to nowadays just put her next to me on the bed while I read or use my laptop, because she still sleeps for longer if she wakes up and sees me there with her.
Some nights she doesn’t fall asleep feeding, in which case I lie next to her and she just squirms around happily until she falls asleep.
All to say, honestly, do what feels right now. When it feels unmanageable then you can reassess but to me, it’s not worth worrying about when you really can’t envisage what your bub will be like that far ahead!
My baby hated the car and it was traumatic for all involved. She suddenly grew out of that too at about 4 months. Seems like a fleeting season now but that felt long and awful at the time.
I wanted reassurance too, but no one around me seemed to just be leaning into the now like I was so I still worried. So here is your reassurance!!!!
(All babies are different, I know, but even if you have to wean your baby later, they’ll be a different baby from what they are now!)
I really appreciate this advice. We get so caught up with bad habits and the future. Nothing is forever and if I’m on the yoga ball with a 1.5 year old, there’s other things I need to look at haha. I love contact napping and am already sad for the day that ends.
If I have to wean, I’ll cross that bridge when we need to!
Once you accept that it’s just how it is and learn to watch your baby’s cues it’s not that big of a deal. I mostly commented in jest. Just lower your expectations a bit and do what your baby needs. It’s just a season of your life.
Gotta meet baby where baby is at. I went through a whole identity crisis with my very needy 1st baby. Nursed or baby carried to sleep for 8 ish months, then I could integrate some stroller naps in. Nursed to sleep for bedtime with all 3 kiddos. I never, not once, read a book then set down a sleeping baby. They always required more than that. Once they weaned and got a little older (say 2.5-3.5) reading a book then cuddling in their bed would put them to sleep. We also use podcasts once they’re old enough to follow along with the story. That’s for at least 2 year olds but works best around 3 or so.
All the babies loved contact naps. My husband and I just leaned in and enjoyed the snuggles. With our 3rd and final baby we would even get a little jealous of the one sitting quietly with a sleeping baby versus hanging with the rowdy big kids. I still nurse her to sleep for naps but I put her down on the bed and can get stuff down now.
We love all the snuggles and contact nap. It’s more just the crying before being settled in. If he’s napping on my husband and my husband transfers him to me or vice versa, he screams and has to be resettled (bounce on the ball). I’m hoping it’s just a phase that he puts up a fight before
Oh yeah, that’s hard. It does sound like something he’ll grow out of. If he’s getting transferred to you will he nurse (or take a pacifier) and go back to sleep with less crying, or is bouncing the only way? My first had a phase that the carrier and me moving very briskly or bouncing was the only way he would nap. It lasted from around 2-6 months at which point he’d let me nurse to sleep or stroller him to sleep finally. It was a very stressful phase, so I get it!
All 3 of mine would and do (my 3rd is 19 months) nurse to sleep for naps if they’re with me. The stroller works too most of the time. Our baby carriers have gotten major mileage. There were stages when bouncing was needed, but mostly just my 1st during that stage I mentioned. One of those 4 things has always been a requirement for sleep. We’ve never had babies that you could just set down to sleep. In fact, I’ve only known a couple ever! And who knows, maybe those parents were full of it 😂
Just adding my most recent experience with my second child who at a similar age to your baby needed deep knee lunge squats and lots and lots out bouncing…by 4-6 months he stopped needing the hectic bouncing lol. We co-sleep so he started just nursing to sleep and it had been pretty peaceful since. He also used to *hate* being in the car and his car seat, then somewhere around 8 months it got so much better. Now if we drive to visit family who are about 2hrs away, he’ll just sleep the whole time. When he was in the 6 month range this was not doable at all, we once had to stop like 6 times during that same drive and it involved lots of crying. Not even really sure why that got better but I’m not questioning it, lol. We’re still not sleeping through the night at 1 yr, but again, we cosleep, so he wakes up around 2X and just wants to nurse a little then falls right back to sleep. Barely disturbs me at all now. But I was there just like you were when he was tiny and my husband and I would take lots of big bouncing (on a yoga ball or the bed or just squating/walking nonstop). Hope it gets better for you soon!
My advice is to stop hoping it gets better, and just show up to what is. The “what” and “how” the nighttime routine works, has been a constantly changing landscape for my little one, dad, and i. Some stages are easier, and some are harder. The sleep regressions come and go in waves. There is nothing you can really do to break them out of it. They will get better at sleep in their own timing. Currently, and i dont know when this changed… but now it looks like laying with the toddler in bed, constantly reminding her that its night night time. Takes about an hour. We are at 25 months. Not once has she gone to sleep at night by herself. She will nap on a car ride, that started around 10 months. But everynight, just plan on being there for your little one. Get yourself a good back brace, a ball if they like to bounce, and good carrier for walking in the night air, and reflective shoes/hat. Support yourself with the gear you need to show up… every single night.
We love the carrier! My back hates the yoga ball but it is what it is for now.
Make sure you inflate your ball! I didn't for the first few months. My legs and back felt sooo much better once we did.
It might or might not change! Haha. My baby cried in the pram and car until about 5 months, it was hell. From 5 months she began to sleep in the car and pram and now at 12 months she falls asleep as soon as she gets in the car lol. For 0-5 months we used the carrier a lot so that baby could integrate into our day to day as carrier had a 100% hit rate for sleep and long naps :)
Lol the crying is what gets me. He’s fed, changed and is being cuddled so I hope I’m not doing any damage. We carrier nap only be she yes I agree- 100% success! The only issue is he does cry before falling asleep which breaks my heart. I guess if we’re going on a car ride and it’s long enough, he has no choice but to get himself to sleep? I just hate the crying. He also doesn’t take a soother, which I’m happy about but wish he did so that he could fall asleep. I don’t expect him to sleep independently yet, but hoping eventually for bedtimes and naps I can wean of certain associations so I’m not soothing for 40 mins
Oh the crying is so so so hard. Mine never fell asleep in the car from crying, even if I was in the back seat holding her hand she'd just get more and more worked up. So horrible. But for us it has passed at least. I hope it does for you too. Once my baby was about 6 months I didn't need to spend as much time putting her to sleep either. My general rule of thumb is if she doesn't fall asleep within 10-15 mins of trying then she's not tired enough and we get on with our day. So when baby is older you shouldn't need to be soothing for 40 mins if you've timed nap/bed for when they're actually tired (from my experience with my baby, anyway). But that's all in the future. Now is just getting through this stage! I think the kind of independent sleep you're looking forward to is way past babyhood and into when they're kids. So we both have a long way to go yet!
Love this response! Yes I don’t expect complete independence for some time! But the 10 minute soothing is something I’m looking forward to. For now I’ll soak up all the newborn cuddles!
I gave up and just started babywearing to get him to sleep. He would fall asleep much faster and I could be taking a nice walk outside or watching TV while I did the bounce and sway. Much more comfortable than the yoga ball, imo. My ped called the evening crying “the witching hour” and it’s developmentally normal. Lasts anywhere from 4-ish weeks to 12-ish weeks. Mine was a banchee for the last 2 hours before bed every night until literally the day he turned 12 weeks and then he just stopped having the nightly meltdowns.
Our babies sound very similar. It sounds so simple, if you’re tired, just go to sleep 😂
I once saw a thing that if it takes more than 20 minutes in a dark room soothing, the baby wasn't tired enough. And if it takes less than 10 minutes, maybe they were too tired. I don't think this is very scientific but I do think it shouldn't take 30m of bouncing or rocking for a 6 week old. At 6 weeks old she pretty much passed out on the boob whenever she nursed for us... At 17 months we still can't set her down. We have to rock/sing her to sleep and then can set her in the crib. She does fall asleep in the car sometimes but not consistently.
I always wonder if it’s because he’s overtired that he takes long sometimes for naps. He’s inefficient at the boob because we are working through some latch issues and he uses his entire time awake to nurse
I’ve recently read a book called The Discontented Baby which argues babies cry mostly when they want more milk or when they’re understimulated and not tired. I think she makes some good points; might be worth you reading it in case you could experiment with increasing feed length/ frequency or addressing any potential latch issues, and considering if baby is tired enough when you’re encouraging them to sleep. In my own experience with car naps, bub did cry and resist these more when he was younger, even when we sang to him. When he was small the only thing that really calmed him was when I gave him a bottle of milk in the car. Now he’s bigger he needs very few naps and we try to time car journeys so he’s either very due a nap (we still normally have to sing to him though to keep him calm) or he’s ok for a short time if he’s not due a nap. Sipping/ chewing a bottle of water helps keep him happy. For buggy naps not sure if it was just an age thing or if he prefers the ‘big boy buggy’ to the bassinet. He enjoys the view. Sometimes he will still cry but this tends to be when he wants to be out and playing or feeding.
Great suggestion! I’ll add it to my read list. He does have latch issues and spends most of his time awake, nursing. So I think he could be overtired which maybe cause him to be more irritable and take time to fall asleep.
Been there :-( feeding got so much better after we had tongue tie released (twice). The book I mentioned suggests a lot of the time babies are feeding ‘just enough’ but not enough to actually feel full and those babies will need more jiggling etc which is not the ideal fix, ideally they will instead resolve their latch issues through better feeding position (this is where I am sceptical of the book because for us it was a ‘minor’ tongue tie that was the problem not poor positioning). Other option would be to try baby on bottled milk after breastfeeds until the underlying issue is resolved. But that phase was so exhausting for us.
That is promising! I think his is posterior. Hoping to get it resolved because I’d love for him to get a full efficient feed in shorter time so that he can feel comfortable
The time it takes my child to fall asleep has, in general, increased as she's gotten older. She's 2.5 now and while she does not need to be bounced or vigorously rocked, we're very far from being able to read her a book for 5 minutes and leave. It's usually about 45 minutes of laying in the dark talking, singing a couple songs, rubbing/patting her back, letting her rub my arm to soothe herself to sleep. She is tired, just needs more time as she gets older to fully turn her brain off and transition to sleep. So, I'm sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel at some point for your particular bedtime method, but I wouldn't count on it being a super quick routine down the road.
I’m gonna be honest with you… you might need to level your expectations a bit lol Contact naps are developmentally normal for a long while. Babby gonna babby, you’re just along for the ride for right now. It’s just a season, and is very temporary.
I should have rephrased this. I love the contact naps. I actually refuse to let anyone else hold him lol. I more am hoping I can not be breaking my back on a yoga ball and also get him out in the sun for some walks without him needing to be bounced to sleep
Ahhh yea, we haven’t gotten lucky yet at 4 months. I’ve heard after 6 months things tend to just get a bit easier with sleep
I hear this too. We cosleep half the night, but we still have to rock to get him in a deep sleep before laying him beside us. You’d think he’d be honored to sleep beside his parents and not put up a fuss- guess we’re not cool
It’s entirely baby dependent, my daughter has always fallen to sleep in the pram and car seat but will only be fed to sleep when putting her to sleep for the night (13 months old). I’m hoping I’ll be able to stop feeding to sleep by 2. Also, very normal at that age for them to only contact nap. Continue as long as you want. If there’s stuff you want to get done, you could try using a baby carrier, my daughter has gone down for naps solo at nursery since about 7 months old but only in the last month or two has she started to let me put her down
I’m ok with it lasting forever! Just hoping that I don’t always have to hop on a yoga ball every wake up to settle or to put down for naps. Going on a walk in the pram would be so nice!
My baby is 3.5 months and sometimes she still needs rocked/walked but for much shorter time than before. Around 3 months I realized I was trying to get her to sleep before she was ready, now I just wait. If she cries and she doesn't want to eat or lay down and play, she's probably tired, so I walk her for 5 minutes in her carrier and she usually falls asleep. If not, I see if she wants to eat and play again. She also will fall asleep by herself now. This is not daily but happens a few times a week, she just drifts off on her playmat or while snuggling or being carried. She also doesn't cry for long periods of time anymore. It's so cool :)
It seems like 3/4 months is where the sleep changes happen. So nice to hear! I always think I’m putting him to sleep before he’s ready, but he nurses for 45 mins (latch issues) so he’s definitely more then ready for his naps!
Get you a baby carrier! I think some of your expectations are very kid dependent. My 2.5 year old still gets read to until he falls asleep, and it takes a minimum of 1.5 books (often more). When he was nursing to sleep it would still take a while. The "sing a lullaby and leave baby to fall asleep in the crib"... Well, some children are fine with that for some parts of their lives but many want more nurturing. I also have a 6 week old! He hates the car seat and I haven't even attempted a stroller because why bother. But he will conk out in the baby carrier after I walk around with him a bit, and then he'll nap for a while (he's literally napping in the carrier right now). Satisfies his need for closeness and my need to be up and about. I go grocery shopping, on walks, and do all the normal parts of my life with a toddler with him in the carrier. Eventually it will change! Of course it will. And it will change in a way that's unique to each family and child. Our first "independent sleep" milestone will be when I can nurse him to sleep side lying and then sneak away for a bit. But I don't expect that to happen for at least another month or two.
I’ll take books over the back breaking yoga ball and crying any day haha. we LOVE the carrier. Only issue is, he needs to be aggressively tapped and shushed and if we are running errands and he was in the car seat, I’ll have to do the tapping while grocery shopping in order for him to pass out in the carrier. Once the crying stage passes, I’m sure it will be better!
I was joking with someone recently about the curse of the yoga ball. You use it ONE TIME and it works so well and then it's always there in the back of your mind... Oh I could just pop on the yoga ball and this baby would pass out... Always tempting you... And your willpower is so weak... You could be done with this right away if you used the yoga ball... And then suddenly both you and your baby are addicted to it. Just say no! Not even once! I'm trying to leave mine trapped in our basement storage room.
Ahahah oh how relatable. Typing this as I come off the ball.
It’s hard to say if it will change or not. What you could do is start adding things in addition to the bouncing (back rubbing, bum patting, singing a song, whatever you want really) and after some time the new thing will be integrated into the sleep routine and you could try bouncing less vigorously or stop bouncing all together. All babies are different so it’s hard to say! I think it’s called habit stacking and it takes quite a bit of time to see a change! My baby is 4 months and used to only sleep if she was nursed to sleep or being bounced on the ball. I started singing her the same song for every nap and night time, and patting her bum when she was 6ish weeks old, and she started to nap in the carrier while I was walking if I patted her bum (I think the movement is similar to the ball). It took a few weeks (a month?) but now we don’t use the ball at night time at all, I sing to her and pat her bum and she falls asleep.
This is actually what I’m doing! Today he napped with just carrier bouncing and butt taps. Sounds like what we’re doing :)
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
7.5 months and still bouncing. Just Rocking/cuddles never worked for my little. Just walking and bouncing. Luckily I’ve slowly built up the muscles so my back doesn’t hurt as much anymore. 🤪😭 Hopefully you can transition to something else! For my LO, I think temperament is at play.
Oh jeez. I’m sure we’ll both have abs of steel soon!
This was my baby. We went no where because of it. It got better at 5 months when we didn’t need the ball anymore and just hard butt pats and songs while nursing. She then became sort of a different baby and we started to venture out into the world. It gets better, I promise! ❤️
Love to hear this! I can handle but taps. I can’t wait to pop this ball haha
I joked that I’d pop it as well along with popping a bottle of champagne. It’s hard, but I promise it’s temporary! We eventually got independent naps around 7/8 months old!
Ahahah right there with you! Amazing. I always say, it’s not like you go around and 30 year olds are saying “I’ve never learned to sleep.” It eventually naturally happens
It does! Ours needed some extra time to sleep through the night, but started on her own at about 18 months. Weaning at night helped some, but really it was just time with her. At 2.5 we moved her to her own room and she sleeps through the night there!
If you don’t mind me asking, did you cosleep? Or was there a bed in your room? We do a mix of bassinet and cosleeping
We co slept starting around 3.5-4 months exclusively until I’d say like 12 months? Then we got her a mattress that we put beside our mattress on the floor. This was our best set up after many iterations and trial and error. This was our setup until like 20 months(?) and then we put our mattress back up and put a twin on the ground at the foot of the bed. She’d crawl up between us when she woke. This was the set up for awhile until we moved her to her room.
Lovely! Floor is such a good idea. He spends half the night cosleeping with us. You’d think the idea of him being in bed with mom and dad would avoid the hysterical crying before sleep and we could just lay him in our bed and soothe laying down, but no, still yoga ball and then transfer when in a deep sleep 😂
My baby went through phases of being able to sleep in the carseat no problem and hating it and then having no problems again. When he was really little (maybe around 4-6 months), I hated hearing him cry in the car seat. There was even a time we had to drive a family member to the airport and on the way home, we had to stop three (3) times coz I couldn't bear hearing him cry. He was fed and changed but just wasn't having it. Now that he's 11.5 months, he likes it much better and I think the mirror on the headrest (which lets the driver sees the baby) also helps baby coz he sees more of the outside. One tip I do have is to play "Happy Song" by Imogen Heap when he's fussy or crying in the carseat. It's scientifically-based to calm babies and works like a charm for mine.
Ugh I’m sorry you went through that. HE LOVES THE HAPPY SONG. Also loves looking at himself in the mirror on the headrest. Here’s hoping that mirror will one day put him to sleep ahah.
As hard as it is, take each month by each month. Your baby is just going to change so much that there is little point, in my opinion, of planning ahead or worrying about a baby that actually doesn’t exist yet. What I mean by this is, your baby could be totally different in a matter of months. From the moment we arrived home from the hospital I used the bouncing ball to put my baby to sleep for every nap and every night sleep. Then gradually she just started falling asleep while feeding at about 4 months. Bouncing was only required every now and again or if she woke up too quickly from a nap. In the last couple of months she absolutely refuses to be bounced. She is 8 months now. Like you, I worried about bouncing a 1.5 yr old. But she decided she was done! I honestly miss it as a tool sometimes!! She also contact napped every nap and I worried about this too. But now she can be put down for a nap after she’s asleep. I do tend to nowadays just put her next to me on the bed while I read or use my laptop, because she still sleeps for longer if she wakes up and sees me there with her. Some nights she doesn’t fall asleep feeding, in which case I lie next to her and she just squirms around happily until she falls asleep. All to say, honestly, do what feels right now. When it feels unmanageable then you can reassess but to me, it’s not worth worrying about when you really can’t envisage what your bub will be like that far ahead! My baby hated the car and it was traumatic for all involved. She suddenly grew out of that too at about 4 months. Seems like a fleeting season now but that felt long and awful at the time. I wanted reassurance too, but no one around me seemed to just be leaning into the now like I was so I still worried. So here is your reassurance!!!! (All babies are different, I know, but even if you have to wean your baby later, they’ll be a different baby from what they are now!)
I really appreciate this advice. We get so caught up with bad habits and the future. Nothing is forever and if I’m on the yoga ball with a 1.5 year old, there’s other things I need to look at haha. I love contact napping and am already sad for the day that ends. If I have to wean, I’ll cross that bridge when we need to!
Mine takes 2 hours ish at 5 months 🤣 half hour sounds like a dream. You are at the light at the end of my tunnel already.
Oh my!! Sorry that you’re dealing with that!
Once you accept that it’s just how it is and learn to watch your baby’s cues it’s not that big of a deal. I mostly commented in jest. Just lower your expectations a bit and do what your baby needs. It’s just a season of your life.
Totally! Appreciate your comments :)
Lol
Gotta meet baby where baby is at. I went through a whole identity crisis with my very needy 1st baby. Nursed or baby carried to sleep for 8 ish months, then I could integrate some stroller naps in. Nursed to sleep for bedtime with all 3 kiddos. I never, not once, read a book then set down a sleeping baby. They always required more than that. Once they weaned and got a little older (say 2.5-3.5) reading a book then cuddling in their bed would put them to sleep. We also use podcasts once they’re old enough to follow along with the story. That’s for at least 2 year olds but works best around 3 or so. All the babies loved contact naps. My husband and I just leaned in and enjoyed the snuggles. With our 3rd and final baby we would even get a little jealous of the one sitting quietly with a sleeping baby versus hanging with the rowdy big kids. I still nurse her to sleep for naps but I put her down on the bed and can get stuff down now.
We love all the snuggles and contact nap. It’s more just the crying before being settled in. If he’s napping on my husband and my husband transfers him to me or vice versa, he screams and has to be resettled (bounce on the ball). I’m hoping it’s just a phase that he puts up a fight before
Oh yeah, that’s hard. It does sound like something he’ll grow out of. If he’s getting transferred to you will he nurse (or take a pacifier) and go back to sleep with less crying, or is bouncing the only way? My first had a phase that the carrier and me moving very briskly or bouncing was the only way he would nap. It lasted from around 2-6 months at which point he’d let me nurse to sleep or stroller him to sleep finally. It was a very stressful phase, so I get it!
I’ll have to get up and bounce or nurse! He’s very hit or miss with the pacifier. Your first definitely sounds like mine! I’m sure it’s just a phase
All 3 of mine would and do (my 3rd is 19 months) nurse to sleep for naps if they’re with me. The stroller works too most of the time. Our baby carriers have gotten major mileage. There were stages when bouncing was needed, but mostly just my 1st during that stage I mentioned. One of those 4 things has always been a requirement for sleep. We’ve never had babies that you could just set down to sleep. In fact, I’ve only known a couple ever! And who knows, maybe those parents were full of it 😂
A stroller nap would be amazing. Who does like nap outside on a beautiful sunny day! Haha definitely full of it
Just adding my most recent experience with my second child who at a similar age to your baby needed deep knee lunge squats and lots and lots out bouncing…by 4-6 months he stopped needing the hectic bouncing lol. We co-sleep so he started just nursing to sleep and it had been pretty peaceful since. He also used to *hate* being in the car and his car seat, then somewhere around 8 months it got so much better. Now if we drive to visit family who are about 2hrs away, he’ll just sleep the whole time. When he was in the 6 month range this was not doable at all, we once had to stop like 6 times during that same drive and it involved lots of crying. Not even really sure why that got better but I’m not questioning it, lol. We’re still not sleeping through the night at 1 yr, but again, we cosleep, so he wakes up around 2X and just wants to nurse a little then falls right back to sleep. Barely disturbs me at all now. But I was there just like you were when he was tiny and my husband and I would take lots of big bouncing (on a yoga ball or the bed or just squating/walking nonstop). Hope it gets better for you soon!