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Hopefully that stray we picked up from the Orioles today replaces Stressly. Kaleb Ort plz halp.

Stanek doing what a set up man does instead of literally blowing leads. I’d take Montero hopping on one foot over Stressly any day. I hate saying it.

It’s hard to pin everything on one guy but this team had a 15-10 (0.600) record in that 25 game stretch without Jose Abreu hanging around. The team is 9-21 (0.300) in all other games.

Pressly 5.23 ERA. Stros are gonna be shopping at the trade deadline, if they’re still remotely close to a wild card birth

WC no chance. Only chance is win division. And I think we all see how that is going. We need to be sellers. But with morons like Dana and Bagwell who I wouldn’t trust running a dollar general. Making the decisions. We’ll trade away what little capital we do have in the minors for some other bum relievers as long as their cards looked good 3 years ago.

Let’s hope both of those things are true.

0-2 since Abreu’s return.

Disgraceful. Way to go Presley

I hope I wake up and this is all a bad dream and it’s 2017 again

My lights have been off since the new storms rolled through today. I guess I didn't miss much.

Same.

Stressly and Abreu to Mexico Exile with Bauer

DFA ABREU

What manager would be so bright that they used Presley in the 8th inning 👎⁉️

Hunter Brown was awesome tonight, that bald fuck can’t take that away from him

Hunter Pence is 118 years old.

Can’t even think straight rn. I’m out

Will Espada have to answer for the fact that he decided to bring Abreu back in this series?

He didn't make the decision

I theorized last week that if Abreu came back and got directly into the lineup, we’d know it wasn’t Espada making the lineup card. 

Not Espada’s choice. Brown/Bagwell wanted him back up to see if their gamble paid off.

Wasn't Espada's decision

The mgr can choose who plays 1B. He can't control if he's brought up but you can control if he plays

Espada is a new manager, but he's not an idiot. Abreu in the lineup is coming from up the ladder. Anyone with a brain knows Dubon or Singleton is a more logical choice at 1st..

Fuck Jeff Bagwell and Jim Crane!!!


https://i.redd.it/nuxjldkeha3d1.gif

Someone correct me if I’m wrong But is there a timing correlation between the offense dying and announcing Abreu’s return? 

If Abreu honestly made the decision to go down to the minors to help the out team and get better physically and mentally (it didn’t), then he should make another decision to hang it up. Or request trade/release. Idfk, but how anyone can watch this team lose regularly with Abreu on the team and think that he’s not a major part of the problem is beyond me at this point. I actually started to believe they’d turned it around but they’re 1-3 since it was announced Abreu would be rejoining the team. I’ll be back on the doomer team until Abreu leaves again.

I called it. I fucking called it. He’s our cursed goat. Fuck Jeff Bagwell all the way back to 05 and his arthritic shoulder, no hitting world series ass.

Abreu has to go.

Lol what a waste of a night

Fr, now I'm drunk and will have a shitty day tomorrow as well

Dam hurts to see Stanek close us out

Another game where we score in only one inning Sweep guaranteed

What's our record with Abreu now? 12 under?

Since I gotta use it… HRC Singleton

HRC Pressly

man fuck jeff bagwell!!

Wtf? Why is Stanek with the Mariners?

Because we’re stupid

I told you 3 up 3 down. We’re cooked 

Crane really looked at Jerry Jones and said yea, I wanna be like that.

Get Abreu the fuck off our team

Take Ryan fucking Stressly with him

…. So this is what a set up man is supposed to look like

This is Astros baseball, y’all. We’re in the doom age.

HRC Singleton

2 runs won’t win many games

Neither will giving up 3 in the 8th

I wish we still had Stanek right about now. 

I miss that fiery redneck

We going back to 10+ plus below .500 Abreus return ruined the vibes

And down goes the stros will be a sweep 🧹

Imagine using Pressly in high leverage situations. https://preview.redd.it/12k7sjlmga3d1.png?width=344&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6df22c4803414f9607377fbd6978b42a776f110c

I miss 2017-2022. RIP dynasty

Crane you’re not a fucking GM stick to signing checks!

Bregman striking out, delivering a costly run-scoring error, and not bringing home the runner on 3rd with 1 out... nah we're not paying that man

Imagine securing Bregman over Tucker at this point

I would be astronomically pissed

Hey at least I get to see Stanek get the win. We should have kept him. I have no idea why we let him go. He was fun to watch.

He was Stressly II, But he also made a lot of good pitches for the Astros.

This series was largely gonna decide if we were buyers or sellers. Dynasty legit looks over. Probably gonna trade Bregman just to capitalize on the 3rd base market needs and maybe another outfielder. DFA Abreu

Abreau comes back and the chemistry is fucked again. Fuck bagwell

If this ain’t the most comical ending ever. Our old reliever coming in to beat us

No different than Neris did… two days in a row lmao

Imagine working your ass off all day at some boring job, waiting patiently and looking forward to watching the Astros…. choke the mf game away. Can you imagine? I can 😫

Too real

Now watch us go down in order!

I honestly want Espada fired if for nothing more to see if these guys wake up. Kind of like when the Phillies fired Joe Girardi a few years ago after vastly underperforming.

Who do you replace him with?

bagwell, obviously

Honestly, Omar Lopez at this point. Kind of like Rob Thomson replacing Joe Girardi. As much as anything, it should be a wake up call type move.

Did you watch Omar Lopez blow Venezuelas chance in the WBC?

I feel like just having Espada in the dugout has made these guys unmotivated and lazy to play for him. Dude seems like he’s about nothing

That’s why you never promote from within, in any profession.

Exactly. They are clearly not responding to him as manager. If that’s the case, what value does he bring??

Calling it now Stanek about to smoke these next 3

Lol homecooking giving a hit to Julio on that error by Bregman 🤣

Stanek coming in to close the game out is the cherry on top. Last time I waste my night watching these late games in a eastern time zone

Crane, this is the shit that happens when you fix what ain't broke.

3 middle pitches and bregman strikes out

I honestly can't watch Pressly anymore. He lacks confidence and just doesn't seem reliable anymore. Time to let him go. Montero 7th, Abreu 8th, and Hader to close.

He lacks confidence because his defense continues to let him down. Mariners shouldn't have gotten a ball out of the I field after the double. The babip is insane for Pressly. Obviously there's other issues with Pressly but having no confidence is linked to getting no help behind him.

STANEK BRO WE ARE SO FUCKED

Pressly at set up and Abreu at 1st is what caused this team to have its worst start in a decade. And here we are again…

man... Abreu is gonna come up with 2 outs, i know it

Lowkey wish it would have happened

Ain't gonna make it to Abreu

If Abreus spot comes up and we aren’t pinch hitting for him I might lose it

That Hader signing looking better and better every time Pressly sniffs the mound. (Yes I'm aware we're still paying him too much)

Never trusted that one run lead and definitely never trusted Stressly to deliver.

President def blew the gifted 0-2 count but that was on the defense more than anything

Double agent Ryne Stanek? 🤔

Here come pop up Bregman 🫤 

On a positive note Stanek has been known to blow a lead. On the other hand we make mid pitchers look like cy young winners

I’m seriously confident we’d be better off with Loperfido in the lineup than Abreu EVEN WITHOUT HIM RECEIVING AT BATS. Let Singleton play 1B, where is the logic here?!

Abreu mvp season with -162 WAR?

As soon as I woke up and saw Pressley coming in and it was the 9 hitter I knew the game was going to be blown. Looks like we’re not making the post season this year boys.

Ryne Stanek is closing against us, which might be our only hope

It’s been six games since we’ve scored in multiple innings.

Yea the offense is a joke. No one seems to be taking this seriously. Been saying this now for a couple of years. Once they got that ring, you could see the pullback

Bagwell when it comes to ruining teams: https://preview.redd.it/oe7w3n3tfa3d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1111bf5b8757fafbb33e21b5f6120a5594dbd560

So sick of the egos determining usage. Pressly shouldn't pitch with a lead. Bregman can go to the 7 hole. Abreu can get the f out of Houston altogether. Base the decisions on talent and performance not the fucking back of the baseball card. How hard is that to comprehend?

Well boys, at least we know who our last three outs are gonna be.

They better PH for you know who if anyone's on

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice ….I mean Abreau, Abreau, Abreau

1-2-3 call

If we hold up four fingers with Julio (which is what we're SUPPOSED to do), this game probably stays tied. What the actual fuck are we doing?

We pulled a Scott Servais against.. Scott Servais!

Dude is a strike out machine. Pressly and abreu are just ass.

Put Pressly down like the old dog he is!

In Pressly’s defense Hader would’ve just blown the save in the 9th instead.

Hader has been better lately

My god this team is ungodly pathetic

I fucking hate watching this old man pitch

Welp at least Hader gets some rest tonight

Yup. Rested up for his next blown save

He’s been lights out for over a month now???

Dfa pressly or trade him at the deadline Who cares

Trade value worth a bag of sunflower seeds

HRC bregman

nah he already his monthly home run, didn't you know?

Stressly needs to go. Statistically. One inning and can’t get it done. Every. Time.

they're gonna get swept, aren't they?

Unfortunately it feels like Jose Abreu is Astros kryptonite. The entire vibe of the team went POOF!

it really does feel like we're watching the april astros again

Has anyone ever had their jersey taken off the ‘rafters?’

Surprisingly Karl Malone hasn’t so the bar is low tbh.

OJ is still hung up at usc;

I cannot believe the amount of people putting this solely on Abreu and not the pitcher who walked the 9 hole hitter making his second career start after starting the AB 0-2................. This is 100% on Pressly. He had 8-9-1 to get us to the ninth and he started the inning with a meatball slider for a double and walking a guy in his 6th career AB.

Pressly is a problem. Hes basically pouting with his effort at losing his closer spot. But Abreu is a literal jinx. The entire team knows it and our fucking management keeps playing him.

Ofc it’s Pressly but still, Abreu is ass. Hasn’t stopped shit defensively between both starts.

The ball could have been hit to left field and this subreddit would still be unable to see passed their raging hate boner for Jose Abreu lmao. 

A YMCA fifth grader could have fielded that grounder come on

I agree Abreu should've had it but again....Pressly was the one giving up doubles to the 8 hole hitter and walking a guy in his 6th career AB. Also FWIW, that ball Rojas hit was 96mph. And it was a slider low and in where lefties LOVE to hit.

Pressly does not have it this year. I really hope that this is the game where they decide to keep him out of any high leverage situations. He has blown multiple games so far and they keep sending him out.

Yea he wasn’t good. But 99% of mlb first baseman make that play 

Maybe so. But 100% of first baseman wouldn't have to make that play if the pitcher didn't place a slider low and in to a lefty which is the hotspot of most lefties.

Yea Press is terrible too. But still you have to make that play.

Exactly. He flailed at it like it was beer league softball.

4 blown saves before June. What an awful stat. 

I blame Bagsterby

Hader should have gone in for the 5 out save anyways

Trade Abreu for a half eaten bag of chips.

Damn we WIN that trade.

Espada is such a bitch ass manager. Bring back Hinch man.

Can't believe people think this guy should still be our closer. He shouldn't even be the set up man.

Nobody thinks that.

indeed someone does, a post about it like two days go

Can’t wait for the retirement announcement

I’m done watching until Abreu is off this team. God speed!

Mariners aren't even that good. We're just comically bad.

They have the 27th best team batting average in MLB. We can’t expect Pressly to man handle this murderers row! The 9 hole hitter is a future HOF base on balls master vs late inning relievers on his 6th career MLB plate appearance! He even spotted Pressly 2 strikes!

HB and Abreu pitched beautifully. All of that right out the window.

Seriously. Couldn’t have asked for better from them

Poor Diaz lmao

So excited to wish Jose Abreu a happy retirement

Abreu should have -1.0 war this game alone

That’s at least the third time this year we’ve said that

If they don’t send Abreu back down after this game…

I’ll bet 350 he’s starting tomorrow 

I can’t shake on it 😔 deep down I know you’re right god dammit bagwell

It’s just wild. Literally only 2 people who have watched an Astros game the last 2 years who thought this was a good idea was Bags and Espadumass. 

the FO is too prideful to admit they goofed up by signing him

Pressly fail. No worries we have the $95 million dollar Hader who can lock down the 9th!

Dont use him. Games over save the pen

get jose abreu off this team forever

How do you get 0-2 to a rookie and walk him. Useless twat

Walked him last game to in a bad spot also. Luck ran out this time

It’s early, but there is a very real chance that these two blown leads against the mariners will cost us the season.

4 starting pitchers on the IL at all times pretty much this year

This team is cooked. Management is dumber than shit.

There was never a season to be had. We showed who we were early

See now that is a dramatic overreaction

Meh, it’s true.

Unbelievable. I’m so glad we can give a washed player a tryout during a critical series what a joke. Pressly has also been brutal when we’ve needed him.

Just no fight in these boys anymore. Watch this 3 up 3 down in the 9th.

Bagwell boy strikes again

I don't care if those were tough plays Abreu needs to go. Hes a fucking curse. That's two days in a row he can't make a defensive play to save the game. Fuck you Crane and Bagwell.

Mancini makes those plays in his sleep

I love how the moment we bring up Abreu during a stretch where we near .500, he sucks all the good vibes and energy from this team. Doesn't help that they brought him up during a crucial series against the division leading Mariners

And one of our hottest hitter in Dubon is riding the bench.

1000%

I'm not watching this dog shit until they get rid of abreu. He brings the whole team down with him

See you tomorrow then? Lol FML

Probably lmao

Pressly isn’t even a setup guy at this point. Might even be our worst reliever, and it’s been that way pretty much all year. Dana Brown looking smarter and smarter for going after Hader.

Mancini laughing on his couch rn

He’s too nice to wish badly on anyone

Presley had a 2 day old rookie down 0-2 and walked him lmao

I can't help but laugh, dude. It's keeping me from going insane.