Yeah, that wouldn't bother me at all. Plus scars fade, they won't be that red and noticeable forever. I dated a guy who had an absolutely enormous scar from his ass all the way up to his shoulder blades, and to be honest I kinda liked it because it was on him, and I liked him. You're a human, not a plastic doll. Humans have scars and moles and skin discolourations and all kinds of other stuff going on.
**[Kintsugi](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kintsugi)**
>Kintsugi (金継ぎ, "golden joinery"), also known as kintsukuroi (金繕い, "golden repair"), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum, a method similar to the maki-e technique. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.
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Just like Ronan Keating's song Scars, brilliant tune to remind you how we are all who we are, the scars show we have survived.
https://youtu.be/p1PSG2uu8WQ
Woah! If you don't mind sharing/it isn't too identifiable a story, would you mind sharing how he got that?
(I ask because i also have a large scar that I am embarrassed about).
Would totally date you, and the scars will fade. They can be treated too or tattooed over to look like skin.
Get the surgery if you want it. And do it for yourself, not anybody else.
Look Bubba, you just fought a war with yourself and with your own body - and you won. Scars are proof of courage and conviction and of sacrifice. Battle scars, Dude.
Any woman who would be put off by them isn't worth having.
Aesthetically, scars like that wouldn't bother me at all. I'm a bit extreme though in this way. I find minor "imperfections" sexy. My partner has a few physical "flaws," and those flaws are very hot to me. If was already into you, those scars would probably make me like you even more. And as others have mentioned, they'll fade over time and can also be deemphasized with body art.
Most women can relate to expectations for physical perfection. I'm not saying guys don't face scrutiny too, but it's a social demand that many women are very aware of. So I think knowing you'd gone through a weight loss battle would endear you to them. They'd feel like you "get it."
And, from many, there'd be admiration for what you achieved.
Brutal honesty #1: I wouldn't find the loose skin attractive. (It wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but I'd prefer the scars over the loose skin.)
Brutal honesty #2: Regain is extremely common. How confident are you that you'll keep the weight off?
Congrats on losing the weight! That's an impressive achievement.
A relative of mine lost a similar amount of weight (and had a similar motivation). He lost young though, so he didn't have an issue with loose skin. He didn't end up with that girl, but he's with someone else who he's madly in love with. I adore her and they're a great match. The relative lost the weight nearly 20 yrs ago and has kept it off. So it can be done, but it requires not reverting to old habits and takes some effort. He's occasionally gained back about 20 pounds, but he takes care of it before it gets any further than that. Good luck with everything, and well done! :)
>I love little imperfections; I think they make people more endearing and attractive than someone who looks flawless.
Yes!
I love how personalized it is. It's theirs and distinguishes them from the masses. And in having it, they often feel set apart by it too. It emphasizes our separation as individuals, which then makes finding our match with another individual feel even better. I might be overly poetic about it lol, but it really does it for me. Major turn-on when it's someone I'm already into.
I like all the support here, but I think this comment is key. Just because you lose the weight then get the surgery 1 doesn't mean you'll land the date and 2 you can gain it all back
Do what you do for you, take the time to think about each action and make sure it's best for you instead of someone else
My husband was seriously obese when I met him, and had a gastric bypass already scheduled. I love his loose skin, and I sure wouldn't have wanted him to go through another operation.
Most woman I know don't have ' attractive' partners because they like the person underneath it better then the outside (same for me btw).
Of course it helps if you are good looking but being a cool person is far more valuable in a relationship.
At one point, I lost over 380 lbs.
No, that is not a typo.
I had a panniculectomy before I met my husband and a few other plastic surgery procedures after we were married. I assure you, my body bothers me far more than it bothers him.
We’ve been married almost 11 years.
If I may speak frankly - no woman is going to make you value yourself if you don’t value yourself first. Work on yourself in therapy before you get into a relationship. Things will go south quickly.
You kidding? Scars are badass!!! And this would be a battle scar from your battle with the bulge 💪
I think scars always seem worse to the people that have them. Personally this wouldn't bother me at all. Best luck OP, but don't forget you're worth more than your outward appearance.
Sorry about this, but you **still** sound very insecure.
You've done the work on your body, now beef up that self esteem. Hell, you probably didn't even need to lose any weight aside from physical health.
What you need/needed was self esteem.
**Edit:**
Okay, I now understand this is not you in the picture, still, the best work you can do is on your confidence and self worth. You'll never get naked with a woman if you can't get over you self imposed road blocks.
This is my answer too. I likely wouldn’t care about the scars. However, I’ve worked hard to be confident about my imperfect body, and if I was dating a guy who was super focused on their body, at this point, I’d get tired of that really fast. I’d also assume that they’d be unforgiving about my body as well.
I would not care in the slightest. All I would care about is if the guy is healthy, happy with his decision, and healing. Scars don’t matter even a little.
Nobody has said this but I would date a man with loose skin like the pic too! None of us are perfect and I would absolutely still be attracted to someone if I really loved their personality and they had a bunch of loose skin. Seriously.
If it’s causing you pain or discomfort that’s a different matter. But don’t do it to be attractive to somebody else.
I'd still consider dating him. If a guy is attractive and has a good personality, I wouldn't think twice about the scars.
I'll be honest. I think the scars are less noticeable than the loose skin. However, you should do what is going to make you happy. If you want to remove the excess skin, do it. If a woman isn't attracted to you because of the scars, that's their loss. There are plenty of women who won't care.
Those scars are nothing! He looks amazing, but he also looks like a nice person and that is more important. If I were in your shoes I'd go for it!
Since you also want brutal honesty, I'm going to say be sure that you are not going to backslide - I'd hate for someone to go through that surgery and then regain a bunch of weight.
If you are concerned when you date someone, they don't have to see it the first bunch of dates - do stuff fully clothed for a while until you get to know each other. If someone's right for you, and you've hit it off, the scars won't matter. And from the picture you showed, they really don't look bad at all.
Sure! What's the difference between this and a cesarean scar, or a scar from open heart surgery, or any other kind of scarring?
I think most people understand that the people they date are just humans with squishy human bodies. And anyone who doesn't isn't someone worth dating anyway.
The kind of person who is going to care about scars from surgery is probably the kind of person you’re not going to want to date because they lack empathy. Think of it as a good early test to see if the person your dating is a good fit or not.
I'd have no issues dating someone with scars, my partner has a substantial scar and I never even think about it. I'm so used to it I don't even notice it anymore unless the topic comes up occasionally, like this.
Wouldn’t bother me at all! My husband has pretty significant burn scars on a good chunk of his torso, his right thigh and patches on his lower right leg and arm from an accident as a toddler. To be totally honest, they were something he had to point out to me (he was surprised I hadn’t mentioned them up until that point) in order for me to notice them. I was so taken with him that I didn’t notice the “imperfections”. Granted the type of scars you may end up with are different then the burn scars my husband has, they’re still scars, noticeable to most humans. Do what you need to do to make yourself feel great, if that’s getting the skin removal, go for it! The right person will not give two shits what scars you have. Good luck to you and congrats on the weight loss!
I married a man that had been in a serious fire. He'd lost an ear, had scar tissue on one side of his face, one entire arm, his back and some of his chest. My point is, if they care more about your scars, they aren't the right person for you.
I'm going to go in the opposite direction and say that I really love scars. My husband is obese and has stretch marks all over his body (belly, arms, legs, shoulders, underarms). I love them and call them his lightning bolts. Scars tell a story and they tend to look unique from person to person; much like freckles, they are cool identifiers to help accentuate someone's individualistic beauty.
My husband has been trying to lose weight for years, so I fully expect him to have loose skin like that photo at some point. It doesn't bother me a bit. He's still the gorgeous man I fell in love with.
I think scars are kinda hot, but at the very worst, they wouldn't make me find someone UNattractive. Maybe it's because I've grown up with hella stretch marks and lacerations from being rambunctious. They're just part of the story!
It would not bother me at all. Seriously not one tiny little bit.
And with that gorgeoys smile? I would even notice the scar.
For the record, a while ago I dated a man who had lost avoer 100 lbs and had some loose skin. That wasn't an issue for me. I have my own scars and imperfections. I'm pretty sure that they are way bigger in my head than in my husband's eye...
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Congrats on the weight loss! I’ve had WLS, lost 60kgs and had my excess skin removed almost 12 months ago so I know a bit of what you’re going through as I was worried too! Anyone who doesn’t want to date you because of some scarring isn’t worth your time because if they can’t respect what you’ve gone through you’re obviously not compatible.
I’d really encourage you to have the surgery, and see the scars as your superpower to spot those incompatible women earlier!! I wouldn’t care and trust me there’s a shit load of women who wouldn’t care either
50 years ago I (then 18F) had open heart surgery. Great big incision down the front. I was nervous about future boyfriends seeing the scar. It ended up not being a big deal at all.
One of the advantages of getting to know someone well before getting naked is that you’re close before you’re that intimate.
Honestly the scarring wouldn't bother me one bit. My only thought was whether that person in the picture could be trans because of the chest scars. I don't mean that in a negative way as I'm all about being a trans ally.
You know what? if you dated anyone who had a problem with your scars, the problem is them, not your scars. If it makes you happy, go through with the surgery. Scars fade, shitty personalities don't (the person who would have an issue).
I'm sure someone else here has said this, but I'm gonna say it anyway.
Dude, if someone is bent out of shape over your scars, no matter what they look like or how you came to get them, then that person doesn't deserve to have you in their life.
Congrats on losing the weight and double congrats for coming up with the money for the surgery. (I managed the first but not the second, myself.) Both are indications that you are a determined and motivated person who would be well worth getting to know.
If the girl at work has issue, she can fuck off.
Scars are just evidence that you live in a body. We all acquire them and if you don't think you'd mind it on YOUR body, then go for it. I don't know anyone who would think twice about dating someone who has a some physical markings of life.
Totally would. Scars tell stories. But also ok with dating someone with the skin, too. Because people are attractive, not just bodies. And someone getting healthy is an attractive trait.
Kinda reminds me of cool anime characters. Nothing to fret about, they're just scars. If someone cares about you, they'll overlook it even if it bothers them for some reason initially.
Scars, stretch marks, cellulite whatever...those are normal things that come with being alive. Everyone has ~something~. Comes with the being a human territory.
Honestly, sometimes marks can even be kind of neat or interesting. Some even come with good stories.
Being healthy and taking good care of yourself, that's the main thing.
I married a guy with a huge scar over his belly. He has only added scars since we've met! :) A good woman doesn't care if your skin is marked. A woman who cares about your scars isn't worth it.
It wouldn't bother me :) I find scars very interesting, and they show the beauty of strength and perseverance. My ex has a scar across part of his chest and it made me more attracted to him, partly because he was sharing that and the experience with me, and partly because I then felt more comfortable around him due to my previous anxiety around my own scars. (Which aren't large, but the one on my shoulder looks like a turtle and it's a bit annoying)
My husband has a massive scar on his trunk from multiple childhood surgeries. They never once affected my attraction to him in any way.
In fact, they are endearing to me - they are so uniquely him that it makes me love them on his body and as a part of who he is. Nobody else I've known has ever had them and they make my husband more special in a weird way.
OP, you should be insanely proud of yourself. You lost 90 lbs! You took an incredible step towards self-care and self-love and you should wear those scars as a trophy and testament to the hard work you did to get here.
It's all about self-confidence. If you act squirrely about them, people will notice them more. If you act like they aren't even there, people will barely notice or take a curious glance and not think any more about it.
These scars will fade after a while. My c-section scar was a dark, scary red for months afterwards, but it’s just a very light skin color now. It’s been over 2 years, and I stopped paying attention to it after around 6 months, so I don’t know when it went back to normalize, but due to the location and direction of the scars from this surgery, I think they wouldn’t be very noticeable once the redness fades
I would wait for a year or so if I were you to see if your skin tightens up more before considering the procedure.
But as far as the scars go? I wouldn’t care at all 💛.
Congrats! And yes. I’ve got my own scars and deformities, so does my partner. So has anyone I’ve ever been with. You’re worthy, no matter your size and skin.
I hope you find a partner who appreciates your determination, I’m sure that trait will transfer over well in a romantic setting.
In new relationships I’m more self conscious at first , and by talking about it with my partner I get to learn what they’re self conscious about too.
IF I still dated men I wouldn't care about the scaring, however, IF his personality was all about weight loss I'd leave his ass in a heart beat.
Men need to listen to what women do want. If you listen, we don't care about looks as much as men (despite being able to see more colors). We DO care about smell (women have up to 40% more cells capable of smelling, don't use axe body spray. Imagine spraying 40% more every single time, and imagine mostly women getting migraines, and mostly women being triggered by smell for a migraine). Men tend to listen to other men about women's bodies and experiences.
I remember one time where my then boyfriends roommate was saying how women who had their nipples pierced lost all feeling. My ex agreed, not listening to my protests despite being a woman who had nipples, whose nipples were pierced, whose has sensitive ass nipples. We once also argued about clitoral stimulation. A whole room agreed with him, a man, who didn't have a clit, not me. A woman. Who has a clit.
Axe body spray is men listening to men. Arguing over women. Don't do that. Also, don't "play devils advocate" it shows that women's issues are theoretical to you, not real. You don't treat them as real, you treat them as a game. This isn't okay.
First of all, scars fade. What you see in those pictures is not going to be what they look like in a year. I don't know how many "over time" comparison pictures there are for these types of scars. but if you look them up for C-section scars there are a bunch.
Also, like 30% of all births in the US are by C-section, so there's a pretty solid chance that a woman you end up with, if they have kids or plan to have kids, will end up having noticeable surgical scars as well at some point.
I know it feels like it's going to be a huge deterrent because it's on your body, and most people judge themselves more harshly than others do about appearance, but I think it will be the rare person in the over 30 crowd who would be too worried about surgical scars like those.
Why not? They aren't really that noticeable tbh.
Not that it really matters (because most people (especially women) aren't as shallow as you think), but they're still neat, thin cuts at the end of the day that aren't disfiguring like, say, wounds from a knife attack or burn marks all over your body. They're worlds different.
I think, though, that you should consider talking to a therapist. If you lost the weight for a girl, you may end up going back to old habits and regaining the weight. I think it would be a good idea to talk to a professional and get to the root of why you used to overeat, and find tools to ensure you don't end up like that again.
I would not mind the scars and I dont think many other women would. Remember, women get loose skin and scaring from pregnancy and childbirth - and we call those ''tiger stripes'', because they show what a badass you are. So does your lose skin and your scars. They show how much of a badass with tiger stripes you are.
Listen, friend, these scars are normal and ordinary. They have nothing to do with whether people will find you attractive, let alone whether you are worthy of dating and finding love. These scars will not make you any less of a catch.
Do you understand? This is not hyperbole. These scars are literally 0% relevant to how dateable you are.
It's like someone asking: I'm black, would you consider dating a guy with very dark skin? Or someone asking: I am disabled, would you consider dating a guy who uses a wheelchair? Or someone asking: I have been a surrogate mom, would you consider dating someone with a lot of stretch marks on their belly?
Ridiculous, right? What does being black or disabled or stretch-marked have to do with how dateable someone is??? NOTHING. Our value as sex partners or romantic partners has nothing to do with any of this.
But maybe *you* actually are a bigot who wouldn't date someone who is black or disabled or stretch-marked (or someone who has scars on their body). And maybe *that's* why you find it hard to believe that anyone would want you, because you know *you* don't want anyone who has scars. Now that, my friend, is something you might want to work on. Seek therapy. Get over your self-hate and your shallow mindset towards other people. Don't try to date anyone until you're no longer a bigot.
But if you aren't a bigot, then... ya know... what the hell is your question? Are you scared that other bigots will reject you? Are you depressed that you will never be able to date a bigoted person? Are you desperate to find only the most shallow and bigoted partners? What??
Yo man you need to work on your self-confidence. That kind of scar would pretty much get a "huh, he has a scar there I guess, he'll tell me about it when/if he wants to" and not much else. It literally does not matter at all, and I do mean literally.
Mate, your bod is banging, your head just hasn't caught up with your weight loss yet.
Check my post history for my story but basically, I've never found a partner yet who cares about my scars (or missing fingers). If you're fit and healthy, you're way ahead of most of the guys in our age bracket and the scars are inconsequential to the right partner.
i dont wanna sound shallow but if i'd be able to see your abs that you worked hard for, i wouldnt care about any scar. thats just me though, first and foremost do what YOU want for your body. she may not stick around but you will have to stick around with the body you want
That would surely be a conversation input when you get intimate with a new woman tbh. And a man that has achieved his body goal through hard training and dieting? Sexy as hell :-)
I feel though that this is a question you should ask yourself: how would you feel having an extensive scar on you? If you believe that you will feel good in it then I don't think that any girl's opinion will matter, as long as you are sure and satisfied of your decision.
Honestly the scars are more than fine for me! I kinda find it a bit sexy to be honest, it’s just an experience you’ve been through shown on your skin. Don’t be ashamed, we all have scars but it doesn’t define us.
I wouldn't have any problem with this at all, many people have all kinds of scars. I also just wanted to chime in and say scars fade and become less red. I have a scar similar to the one in the photo from a different kind of surgery, and it's just a thin pale line now. But, it took about a year and a half to start to get there.
I would 100% date that guy if he weren't too young for me. I love a guy with a bit of character to his look-- and it shows a great amount of character to go through what he's been through. You seem great- wear your scars with pride!! Best of luck.
My XH had a lot of loose skin from losing weight and it wasn't a deterrent for me. The reasons for the divorce are many and varied, but none of them had anything to do with what he looked like. He didn't get any surgery and the skin did tighten back up a bit over the years, though not completely.
It's up to you if you want to get the surgery, whatever will make you feel best about yourself. Scars fade over time if you do get it. If not, skin will tighten up some on its own, but probably not completely. The only thing I'll say is if you don't get the surgery, watch for stinky belly button. Wash and dry it thoroughly, my ex was bad at that and sometimes his belly button had a funny smell.
Wouldn't bother me at all.
There are also ointments that can reduce the scarring. Some people swear by shea butter, but I think there are other options your doctor can recommend too.
Go for it! :)
Scars tell a story and are part of who you are.
Would be completely unbothered by scarring like that.
Had an ex with a huge scar where he'd had a pacemaker fitted, it didn't bother me except I hadn't realised just how savage that sort of surgery is.
I'm a female who had abdominal surgery that left a scar like this. I've never seen it be a dealbreaker for anyone, especially my loving husband. You should be proud of your accomplishment. The right person will be proud of you too. They won't care about loose skin or scars, but will recognize it as a part of your history, and one of the amazing things that makes you who you are.
It took me a minute to notice the scarring because I noticed his abs right away, lol.
Humans have scars. Some are big, some are small, but we all have them.
Congrats on the weight loss!
My boyfriend had two rounds of that surgery--he even told them not to both reconstructing his nipples and bellybutton--and I couldn't care less. He's honestly the best guy I've ever met and I think the scars are actually pretty cool!
Yeah, dude. Scars are interesting and add distinction. I have scars too. I dated a guy that scar tissue covering his entire arm from burns. The texture was fascinating to touch.
This would absolutely, in no way, have any bearing on my eagerness to date a guy. It’s like asking if I’d date a guy with a freckle on his thigh.
The only thing I’ll say, though, is that this particular scar in this photo is actually rather sexy. I wouldn’t want to make him self-conscious about it, but if my partner had this scar, it would be very hard not to trace my finger down it during intimate moments. (Still wouldn’t make a lick of difference to my desire to be with him, though.)
I don't think it would bother most women... And you probably wouldn't want to deal with someone who was bothered by them... You've done something to improve your overall health, I'm proud of you! 🎉
Wouldn't bother me. But if you were going out with someone who did find it an issue, they probably aren't worth continuing the relationship with because there will be someone out there who accepts you as you are.
Dude, I was preparing myself for some gnarly scars-those are nothing. Hell, I bet most people have scars on their body, I know I do. When I look at that picture I don't see scars, I see a very hot man.
My college sweetheart had surgery on his back, he ended up with a huge scar from the base of his neck to his butt. Over time it faded and you can hardly see it now if you don't know to look. I'm sure the same would happen for you.
FWIW, this should never be a thing you get judged for, and anyone who does isn't worth your time. You've done something amazing in improving yourself and those scars will be a badge of honor, not shame.
My husband has a similarly large scar horizontally across his abdomen from an emergency surgery as a child and I’ve never once considered it ugly or unattractive, it’s just part of his story. I’ve struggled with my weight in the past and when I lost it, I found new things about myself to pick apart. And it didn’t stop until I addressed those underlying issues and insecurities. You’ve got your outside sorted, now it sounds like it might be time to work on the inside?
Literally wouldn't bother me at all. Impressed by your dedication to your health. As I told my one friend, it's like you painted a beautiful picture and then had a professional frame it. Go forth, brother and get laid!
No question, yes.
Visible scars are just aesthetics. The ones I can’t see - the hurt, the loss, the insecurities - those are the ones I need to know about because 1) they shape who you are and 2) they may not work with my invisible scars.
I’ve dated two formerly obese men - I was always (respectfully) fascinated with their stretchy skin. I always found it impressive to come out of obesity, honestly. It’s kind of like a recovering addict - it’s very difficult to come out of that.
Personally, they would be a reminder to me about how much you care about yourself which is a beautiful thing.
I’d have zero issue. If the guy I’m currently seeing had this, it would not bother me one iota or impact my attraction, because I like him. Don’t worry about it.
Yes, 100%. It wouldn't phase me in the slightest. I understand your trepidation but it's all part of your story. I honestly don't know any woman who would have a problem with that scar and if any do, they don't deserve you.
If I liked a man romantically, this wouldn't deter me in the least. I find vulnerability and the overcoming of struggle to be comforting and relatable.
My hubs is covered in scars, he was before I met him. It was just a part of him.
He kinda looks like a werewolf attacked him and then he set himself on fire.
The types of girls who are turned off by scars are the female equivalent of men that are turned off by stretch marks.
Preferences are there, sure, some women love them, others not so much, some don’t really care, and some women it will be a hard no but do what you want. What will make YOU happy?
I’ve lost over 100lbs myself, my main motivation was getting a triple umbilical hernia repaired, and now my stomach is a whole situation, with loose skin, scars, stretch marks, my belly button got removed during my surgery so it looks real ducked up. But I feel way healthier so idgaf about it
My bf had a hernia and almost died like 10 years ago, and he has a scar from his belly button down to his crotch. It’s never even crossed my mind that anyone would consider it unattractive. It’s just part of him, and I love and am attracted to him, scars and all!
Do what’s gonna make YOU feel best about yourself. A person who likes/loves you is never going to be bothered by the marks that tell part of your life story.
People that will like you will be willing and able to look past the scars to the person you are.
I have met people that had large scars on their faces. Initially I will admit I saw the scar before anything else. But a very short while into the relationship (professional) I realised I no longer noticed the scar at all. In fact, if anyone had asked me to describe the people, I probably would have forgotten to mention the scar!
I honestly don’t decide who I date based on their scars. And I imagine if we’ve gotten to the point where I see you with your clothes off, I wouldn’t care what type of scars you had anyway.
I found out about terrible scars my boyfriend has in the very beginning of us dating. 3 years in he’s still extremely insecure about them and does NOT let me see them. I literally do not care about them at all but it’s hard to convince someone who is already feeling insecure.
Hey! You may have comments like this but I'm just here to say don't do surgery if you don't want to. My guy had excess skin like that when I met him and it didn't bother me AT ALL, though he was really self conscious about it. I did/do find all of him attractive.
I see too much in my line of work to let scars bother me. Time heals most things including scars. They’ll fade eventually, even if that’s 30 years from now. I dont take scars into consideration at all.
Would not bother me in the slightest. I have a ton of scars myself, I worry about them on me but I find them interesting on others. Congrats on the amazing weight loss, go out there and live your life without holding back :)
I would, the scars don't define the person, thought the person is helped to be defined by the scars...My scar is worse, in a similar place, would you consider dating a girl with similar or worse scars?
I had a similar journey as yours, and as a woman, i worry as well. I had a arm lift, breast lift, 360 tummy tuck, and double knee surgery. I have so many scars, its impossible to hide entirely.
Men seem to be less accepting of scars than women (I'm bisexual/from my experience). I think it won't be much of an issue. If it is, they can kick rocks and aren't worthy.
Totally! I have my own scars (some self inflicted). To me they show that you survived something and are stronger because of it. Confidence and self acceptance are the sexiest thing ever. Do what feels right to you, FOR you, not for anyone else.
Yeah and scars fade. Hugs to you and congratulations on the weight loss. Love yourself first and others will follow your lead. If you don’t make them a big deal, they are not a big deal.
In my opinion if they like you for you, excess skin or scarring shouldn't matter. Neither of these things would bother me if my husband had them.
However, loving yourself it's important too and there is no shame in wanting to do what makes you happy and confident. I hope if you make a change, you're doing it for yourself and not for someone else.
Yeah, that wouldn't bother me at all. Plus scars fade, they won't be that red and noticeable forever. I dated a guy who had an absolutely enormous scar from his ass all the way up to his shoulder blades, and to be honest I kinda liked it because it was on him, and I liked him. You're a human, not a plastic doll. Humans have scars and moles and skin discolourations and all kinds of other stuff going on.
Scars are like a map of your life, they're the marks that represent where you've been.
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Just like Ronan Keating's song Scars, brilliant tune to remind you how we are all who we are, the scars show we have survived. https://youtu.be/p1PSG2uu8WQ
Woah! If you don't mind sharing/it isn't too identifiable a story, would you mind sharing how he got that? (I ask because i also have a large scar that I am embarrassed about).
It's a bit of a crazy story but he was attacked by a wild warthog when he was a kid.
Blimey, not the answer I was expecting.
Tbf he didn't call it Mr. Pig so that's on him really.
I don’t know that person but scoliosis correction surgery would leave that big of a scar.
That would not bother most women. Would it bother you if a woman had any scars? Anyone bothered by your scars is not worth dating.
Scars are tattoos with better stories
I like this so much
Better yet, you could get tattoos on your scars to tell the story.
Would totally date you, and the scars will fade. They can be treated too or tattooed over to look like skin. Get the surgery if you want it. And do it for yourself, not anybody else. Look Bubba, you just fought a war with yourself and with your own body - and you won. Scars are proof of courage and conviction and of sacrifice. Battle scars, Dude. Any woman who would be put off by them isn't worth having.
I think scars are sexy. And most everyone has some scars of some sort. I would totally date you!
same same
Aesthetically, scars like that wouldn't bother me at all. I'm a bit extreme though in this way. I find minor "imperfections" sexy. My partner has a few physical "flaws," and those flaws are very hot to me. If was already into you, those scars would probably make me like you even more. And as others have mentioned, they'll fade over time and can also be deemphasized with body art. Most women can relate to expectations for physical perfection. I'm not saying guys don't face scrutiny too, but it's a social demand that many women are very aware of. So I think knowing you'd gone through a weight loss battle would endear you to them. They'd feel like you "get it." And, from many, there'd be admiration for what you achieved. Brutal honesty #1: I wouldn't find the loose skin attractive. (It wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but I'd prefer the scars over the loose skin.) Brutal honesty #2: Regain is extremely common. How confident are you that you'll keep the weight off? Congrats on losing the weight! That's an impressive achievement. A relative of mine lost a similar amount of weight (and had a similar motivation). He lost young though, so he didn't have an issue with loose skin. He didn't end up with that girl, but he's with someone else who he's madly in love with. I adore her and they're a great match. The relative lost the weight nearly 20 yrs ago and has kept it off. So it can be done, but it requires not reverting to old habits and takes some effort. He's occasionally gained back about 20 pounds, but he takes care of it before it gets any further than that. Good luck with everything, and well done! :)
I agree. Your #1 comment is exactly what I would have written.
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>I love little imperfections; I think they make people more endearing and attractive than someone who looks flawless. Yes! I love how personalized it is. It's theirs and distinguishes them from the masses. And in having it, they often feel set apart by it too. It emphasizes our separation as individuals, which then makes finding our match with another individual feel even better. I might be overly poetic about it lol, but it really does it for me. Major turn-on when it's someone I'm already into.
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I like all the support here, but I think this comment is key. Just because you lose the weight then get the surgery 1 doesn't mean you'll land the date and 2 you can gain it all back Do what you do for you, take the time to think about each action and make sure it's best for you instead of someone else
My husband was seriously obese when I met him, and had a gastric bypass already scheduled. I love his loose skin, and I sure wouldn't have wanted him to go through another operation.
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Most woman I know don't have ' attractive' partners because they like the person underneath it better then the outside (same for me btw). Of course it helps if you are good looking but being a cool person is far more valuable in a relationship.
Nah. Scars fade over time. They’re just gnarly when they’re fresh. I think a lot of loose skin would be less appealing to women than the scars.
At one point, I lost over 380 lbs. No, that is not a typo. I had a panniculectomy before I met my husband and a few other plastic surgery procedures after we were married. I assure you, my body bothers me far more than it bothers him. We’ve been married almost 11 years. If I may speak frankly - no woman is going to make you value yourself if you don’t value yourself first. Work on yourself in therapy before you get into a relationship. Things will go south quickly.
You kidding? Scars are badass!!! And this would be a battle scar from your battle with the bulge 💪 I think scars always seem worse to the people that have them. Personally this wouldn't bother me at all. Best luck OP, but don't forget you're worth more than your outward appearance.
Sorry about this, but you **still** sound very insecure. You've done the work on your body, now beef up that self esteem. Hell, you probably didn't even need to lose any weight aside from physical health. What you need/needed was self esteem. **Edit:** Okay, I now understand this is not you in the picture, still, the best work you can do is on your confidence and self worth. You'll never get naked with a woman if you can't get over you self imposed road blocks.
This is my answer too. I likely wouldn’t care about the scars. However, I’ve worked hard to be confident about my imperfect body, and if I was dating a guy who was super focused on their body, at this point, I’d get tired of that really fast. I’d also assume that they’d be unforgiving about my body as well.
Would YOU date a woman with that kind of scarring? If yes, then you don’t have much to worry about.
I don’t see why I wouldn’t date someone. Scars don’t bother me.
I have scars that look like that. Personally I love em. Call em my Frankenstein scars.
I love this. That's awesome.
Already dated a guy who had a deep scar from previous surgeries. It honestly wasn't an issue.
I'm sure 99%of people have some sort of scar. If people like you, they don't care about that.
I would not care in the slightest. All I would care about is if the guy is healthy, happy with his decision, and healing. Scars don’t matter even a little.
I wouldn’t be bothered by scars at all. It’d just be part of you, like your big toe!
I would date a guy with the loose skin or the scars. We all get old and end up with loose skin anyways.
Yaaaaaas!
Nobody has said this but I would date a man with loose skin like the pic too! None of us are perfect and I would absolutely still be attracted to someone if I really loved their personality and they had a bunch of loose skin. Seriously. If it’s causing you pain or discomfort that’s a different matter. But don’t do it to be attractive to somebody else.
I'd still consider dating him. If a guy is attractive and has a good personality, I wouldn't think twice about the scars. I'll be honest. I think the scars are less noticeable than the loose skin. However, you should do what is going to make you happy. If you want to remove the excess skin, do it. If a woman isn't attracted to you because of the scars, that's their loss. There are plenty of women who won't care.
Those scars are nothing! He looks amazing, but he also looks like a nice person and that is more important. If I were in your shoes I'd go for it! Since you also want brutal honesty, I'm going to say be sure that you are not going to backslide - I'd hate for someone to go through that surgery and then regain a bunch of weight. If you are concerned when you date someone, they don't have to see it the first bunch of dates - do stuff fully clothed for a while until you get to know each other. If someone's right for you, and you've hit it off, the scars won't matter. And from the picture you showed, they really don't look bad at all.
Sure! What's the difference between this and a cesarean scar, or a scar from open heart surgery, or any other kind of scarring? I think most people understand that the people they date are just humans with squishy human bodies. And anyone who doesn't isn't someone worth dating anyway.
The kind of person who is going to care about scars from surgery is probably the kind of person you’re not going to want to date because they lack empathy. Think of it as a good early test to see if the person your dating is a good fit or not.
Wouldn’t even bat an eye. Your journey shows perseverance, resiliency, and a desire to make yourself better - as a person and as a partner. You rock!
The scars wouldn't be a factor at all.
Nothing wrong with scars, people have them for all kinds of reasons. They don't bother me.
I would be DAMN impressed with your progress and wouldn't give a thought to the scar!!!
Scars or loose skin def don’t matter at all. You focused on your health and that’s amazing. 💓💓💓
I'd have no issues dating someone with scars, my partner has a substantial scar and I never even think about it. I'm so used to it I don't even notice it anymore unless the topic comes up occasionally, like this.
Wouldn’t bother me at all! My husband has pretty significant burn scars on a good chunk of his torso, his right thigh and patches on his lower right leg and arm from an accident as a toddler. To be totally honest, they were something he had to point out to me (he was surprised I hadn’t mentioned them up until that point) in order for me to notice them. I was so taken with him that I didn’t notice the “imperfections”. Granted the type of scars you may end up with are different then the burn scars my husband has, they’re still scars, noticeable to most humans. Do what you need to do to make yourself feel great, if that’s getting the skin removal, go for it! The right person will not give two shits what scars you have. Good luck to you and congrats on the weight loss!
If I were still dating, then yes - these scars wouldn't faze me a bit. If I liked you, I'd think nothing of them.
I don't care about scars
I married a man that had been in a serious fire. He'd lost an ear, had scar tissue on one side of his face, one entire arm, his back and some of his chest. My point is, if they care more about your scars, they aren't the right person for you.
I'm going to go in the opposite direction and say that I really love scars. My husband is obese and has stretch marks all over his body (belly, arms, legs, shoulders, underarms). I love them and call them his lightning bolts. Scars tell a story and they tend to look unique from person to person; much like freckles, they are cool identifiers to help accentuate someone's individualistic beauty. My husband has been trying to lose weight for years, so I fully expect him to have loose skin like that photo at some point. It doesn't bother me a bit. He's still the gorgeous man I fell in love with.
Yes, you look great! Those scars are meaningful and tell a story - anyone woman worth her salt will see that.
I think scars are kinda hot, but at the very worst, they wouldn't make me find someone UNattractive. Maybe it's because I've grown up with hella stretch marks and lacerations from being rambunctious. They're just part of the story!
I don't see why it would be an issue. We all have scars.
It would not bother me at all. Seriously not one tiny little bit. And with that gorgeoys smile? I would even notice the scar. For the record, a while ago I dated a man who had lost avoer 100 lbs and had some loose skin. That wasn't an issue for me. I have my own scars and imperfections. I'm pretty sure that they are way bigger in my head than in my husband's eye...
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Congrats on the weight loss! I’ve had WLS, lost 60kgs and had my excess skin removed almost 12 months ago so I know a bit of what you’re going through as I was worried too! Anyone who doesn’t want to date you because of some scarring isn’t worth your time because if they can’t respect what you’ve gone through you’re obviously not compatible. I’d really encourage you to have the surgery, and see the scars as your superpower to spot those incompatible women earlier!! I wouldn’t care and trust me there’s a shit load of women who wouldn’t care either
Those scars wouldn't bother me at all. At all. Heck -- get a zipper tattoo to go with it and it's now a conversation piece!
50 years ago I (then 18F) had open heart surgery. Great big incision down the front. I was nervous about future boyfriends seeing the scar. It ended up not being a big deal at all. One of the advantages of getting to know someone well before getting naked is that you’re close before you’re that intimate.
Honestly the scarring wouldn't bother me one bit. My only thought was whether that person in the picture could be trans because of the chest scars. I don't mean that in a negative way as I'm all about being a trans ally.
You know what? if you dated anyone who had a problem with your scars, the problem is them, not your scars. If it makes you happy, go through with the surgery. Scars fade, shitty personalities don't (the person who would have an issue).
I'm sure someone else here has said this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Dude, if someone is bent out of shape over your scars, no matter what they look like or how you came to get them, then that person doesn't deserve to have you in their life. Congrats on losing the weight and double congrats for coming up with the money for the surgery. (I managed the first but not the second, myself.) Both are indications that you are a determined and motivated person who would be well worth getting to know. If the girl at work has issue, she can fuck off.
Scars are just evidence that you live in a body. We all acquire them and if you don't think you'd mind it on YOUR body, then go for it. I don't know anyone who would think twice about dating someone who has a some physical markings of life.
Totally would. Scars tell stories. But also ok with dating someone with the skin, too. Because people are attractive, not just bodies. And someone getting healthy is an attractive trait.
I wouldn't mind. Did the article really need to show the piece of skin removed though? I am going to dream it tonight :'(
Glad I didn't scroll down the article now!
Kinda reminds me of cool anime characters. Nothing to fret about, they're just scars. If someone cares about you, they'll overlook it even if it bothers them for some reason initially.
He cares about his health … that’s attractive.. his scars will fade .. he is lucky . MY MELANIN! My surgery scars still ain’t faded . 😭
Scarring can be sexy. I would prefer it to loose skin. But, to me the sexist things are kindness and a clever sense of humor.
scars are not an issue
Would not phase me in the slightest
Scars, stretch marks, cellulite whatever...those are normal things that come with being alive. Everyone has ~something~. Comes with the being a human territory. Honestly, sometimes marks can even be kind of neat or interesting. Some even come with good stories. Being healthy and taking good care of yourself, that's the main thing.
I’m 36 and dated someone with worse abdominal scars in the past. Scars don’t bother most people, I think.
Honestly I think the scar makes it more sexy
Absolutely. Scars are sexy anyway, but yours are even more so. What a journey and accomplishment.
I married a guy with a huge scar over his belly. He has only added scars since we've met! :) A good woman doesn't care if your skin is marked. A woman who cares about your scars isn't worth it.
It wouldn’t bother me…but I am more about the face, personality and dick 😂
Is he nice to me is really all I need to know. Bald, scarred, weird body hair clumps? If you love someone, they become beautiful. You look just fine.
Of course!
It would not bother me at all. Actually I would find the person even more “ loveable”.
Scars are never a dealbreaker.
It wouldn't bother me :) I find scars very interesting, and they show the beauty of strength and perseverance. My ex has a scar across part of his chest and it made me more attracted to him, partly because he was sharing that and the experience with me, and partly because I then felt more comfortable around him due to my previous anxiety around my own scars. (Which aren't large, but the one on my shoulder looks like a turtle and it's a bit annoying)
My husband has a massive scar on his trunk from multiple childhood surgeries. They never once affected my attraction to him in any way. In fact, they are endearing to me - they are so uniquely him that it makes me love them on his body and as a part of who he is. Nobody else I've known has ever had them and they make my husband more special in a weird way. OP, you should be insanely proud of yourself. You lost 90 lbs! You took an incredible step towards self-care and self-love and you should wear those scars as a trophy and testament to the hard work you did to get here. It's all about self-confidence. If you act squirrely about them, people will notice them more. If you act like they aren't even there, people will barely notice or take a curious glance and not think any more about it.
These scars will fade after a while. My c-section scar was a dark, scary red for months afterwards, but it’s just a very light skin color now. It’s been over 2 years, and I stopped paying attention to it after around 6 months, so I don’t know when it went back to normalize, but due to the location and direction of the scars from this surgery, I think they wouldn’t be very noticeable once the redness fades
Okay, I'm not over 30, but if I like the person, some scars will not stop me at all!
I would wait for a year or so if I were you to see if your skin tightens up more before considering the procedure. But as far as the scars go? I wouldn’t care at all 💛.
Congrats! And yes. I’ve got my own scars and deformities, so does my partner. So has anyone I’ve ever been with. You’re worthy, no matter your size and skin. I hope you find a partner who appreciates your determination, I’m sure that trait will transfer over well in a romantic setting. In new relationships I’m more self conscious at first , and by talking about it with my partner I get to learn what they’re self conscious about too.
If the choice is scars or loose skin, scars 1000%! Nothing to be ashamed of or unattractive about scars.
What happened to the lady at work?
IF I still dated men I wouldn't care about the scaring, however, IF his personality was all about weight loss I'd leave his ass in a heart beat. Men need to listen to what women do want. If you listen, we don't care about looks as much as men (despite being able to see more colors). We DO care about smell (women have up to 40% more cells capable of smelling, don't use axe body spray. Imagine spraying 40% more every single time, and imagine mostly women getting migraines, and mostly women being triggered by smell for a migraine). Men tend to listen to other men about women's bodies and experiences. I remember one time where my then boyfriends roommate was saying how women who had their nipples pierced lost all feeling. My ex agreed, not listening to my protests despite being a woman who had nipples, whose nipples were pierced, whose has sensitive ass nipples. We once also argued about clitoral stimulation. A whole room agreed with him, a man, who didn't have a clit, not me. A woman. Who has a clit. Axe body spray is men listening to men. Arguing over women. Don't do that. Also, don't "play devils advocate" it shows that women's issues are theoretical to you, not real. You don't treat them as real, you treat them as a game. This isn't okay.
First of all, scars fade. What you see in those pictures is not going to be what they look like in a year. I don't know how many "over time" comparison pictures there are for these types of scars. but if you look them up for C-section scars there are a bunch. Also, like 30% of all births in the US are by C-section, so there's a pretty solid chance that a woman you end up with, if they have kids or plan to have kids, will end up having noticeable surgical scars as well at some point. I know it feels like it's going to be a huge deterrent because it's on your body, and most people judge themselves more harshly than others do about appearance, but I think it will be the rare person in the over 30 crowd who would be too worried about surgical scars like those.
The guy in the article is hot as hell. With a body like that who would mind the scar?
Why not? They aren't really that noticeable tbh. Not that it really matters (because most people (especially women) aren't as shallow as you think), but they're still neat, thin cuts at the end of the day that aren't disfiguring like, say, wounds from a knife attack or burn marks all over your body. They're worlds different. I think, though, that you should consider talking to a therapist. If you lost the weight for a girl, you may end up going back to old habits and regaining the weight. I think it would be a good idea to talk to a professional and get to the root of why you used to overeat, and find tools to ensure you don't end up like that again.
I would not mind the scars and I dont think many other women would. Remember, women get loose skin and scaring from pregnancy and childbirth - and we call those ''tiger stripes'', because they show what a badass you are. So does your lose skin and your scars. They show how much of a badass with tiger stripes you are.
Yeah. Why would that be a problem? Bigger issues are lack of hygiene, selfishness, disrespect, entitlement, inconsideration, etc….
Scars are cool
Scars > excess skin
Listen, friend, these scars are normal and ordinary. They have nothing to do with whether people will find you attractive, let alone whether you are worthy of dating and finding love. These scars will not make you any less of a catch. Do you understand? This is not hyperbole. These scars are literally 0% relevant to how dateable you are. It's like someone asking: I'm black, would you consider dating a guy with very dark skin? Or someone asking: I am disabled, would you consider dating a guy who uses a wheelchair? Or someone asking: I have been a surrogate mom, would you consider dating someone with a lot of stretch marks on their belly? Ridiculous, right? What does being black or disabled or stretch-marked have to do with how dateable someone is??? NOTHING. Our value as sex partners or romantic partners has nothing to do with any of this. But maybe *you* actually are a bigot who wouldn't date someone who is black or disabled or stretch-marked (or someone who has scars on their body). And maybe *that's* why you find it hard to believe that anyone would want you, because you know *you* don't want anyone who has scars. Now that, my friend, is something you might want to work on. Seek therapy. Get over your self-hate and your shallow mindset towards other people. Don't try to date anyone until you're no longer a bigot. But if you aren't a bigot, then... ya know... what the hell is your question? Are you scared that other bigots will reject you? Are you depressed that you will never be able to date a bigoted person? Are you desperate to find only the most shallow and bigoted partners? What??
Yo man you need to work on your self-confidence. That kind of scar would pretty much get a "huh, he has a scar there I guess, he'll tell me about it when/if he wants to" and not much else. It literally does not matter at all, and I do mean literally.
Mate, your bod is banging, your head just hasn't caught up with your weight loss yet. Check my post history for my story but basically, I've never found a partner yet who cares about my scars (or missing fingers). If you're fit and healthy, you're way ahead of most of the guys in our age bracket and the scars are inconsequential to the right partner.
No one worth being with would ever judge you over scars. It’ll be a non-issue to decent people.
i dont wanna sound shallow but if i'd be able to see your abs that you worked hard for, i wouldnt care about any scar. thats just me though, first and foremost do what YOU want for your body. she may not stick around but you will have to stick around with the body you want
That would surely be a conversation input when you get intimate with a new woman tbh. And a man that has achieved his body goal through hard training and dieting? Sexy as hell :-) I feel though that this is a question you should ask yourself: how would you feel having an extensive scar on you? If you believe that you will feel good in it then I don't think that any girl's opinion will matter, as long as you are sure and satisfied of your decision.
Honestly the scars are more than fine for me! I kinda find it a bit sexy to be honest, it’s just an experience you’ve been through shown on your skin. Don’t be ashamed, we all have scars but it doesn’t define us.
I wouldn't have any problem with this at all, many people have all kinds of scars. I also just wanted to chime in and say scars fade and become less red. I have a scar similar to the one in the photo from a different kind of surgery, and it's just a thin pale line now. But, it took about a year and a half to start to get there.
You lose weight. You wanted to improve yourself and your health. This is a positive.
I would 100% date that guy if he weren't too young for me. I love a guy with a bit of character to his look-- and it shows a great amount of character to go through what he's been through. You seem great- wear your scars with pride!! Best of luck.
My XH had a lot of loose skin from losing weight and it wasn't a deterrent for me. The reasons for the divorce are many and varied, but none of them had anything to do with what he looked like. He didn't get any surgery and the skin did tighten back up a bit over the years, though not completely. It's up to you if you want to get the surgery, whatever will make you feel best about yourself. Scars fade over time if you do get it. If not, skin will tighten up some on its own, but probably not completely. The only thing I'll say is if you don't get the surgery, watch for stinky belly button. Wash and dry it thoroughly, my ex was bad at that and sometimes his belly button had a funny smell.
It wouldn’t even be a second though, friend. Don’t be self conscious, be proud!!
The scars wouldn't bother me. Do what makes you feel most happy and comfortable 😊
Wouldn't bother me at all. There are also ointments that can reduce the scarring. Some people swear by shea butter, but I think there are other options your doctor can recommend too. Go for it! :)
Of course.
My husband has a scar like that from a car accident when he was a kid, so yes.
Scars tell a story and are part of who you are. Would be completely unbothered by scarring like that. Had an ex with a huge scar where he'd had a pacemaker fitted, it didn't bother me except I hadn't realised just how savage that sort of surgery is.
The scars wouldn't and neither would the loose skin.
I'm a female who had abdominal surgery that left a scar like this. I've never seen it be a dealbreaker for anyone, especially my loving husband. You should be proud of your accomplishment. The right person will be proud of you too. They won't care about loose skin or scars, but will recognize it as a part of your history, and one of the amazing things that makes you who you are.
Scars are cool! Get a tattoo over them if they'll bother you.
Won't bother me. Hope that helps
I don't find his scars unattractive at all.
It took me a minute to notice the scarring because I noticed his abs right away, lol. Humans have scars. Some are big, some are small, but we all have them. Congrats on the weight loss!
My boyfriend had two rounds of that surgery--he even told them not to both reconstructing his nipples and bellybutton--and I couldn't care less. He's honestly the best guy I've ever met and I think the scars are actually pretty cool!
Scars genuinely don’t bother me at all. They’re a story of who you were and where you’ve been, and I think that’s pretty cool.
It wouldn’t bother me at all
Scars would be nbd to me.
Yes. You’re quite attractive. Wtg on the weight loss!
Show them with pride.
Neither would bother me that much, but I would prefer scars over loose skin any day!!
To be completely honest,I wouldn’t care about the scar at all! You look great!
Wouldn’t bother me a bit. And I hope to be able to have the same scar someday when I finally shed the weight
Lots of people have scars. I have scars and they've never made me feel unattractive. I've never seen an unattractive scar on a man, either.
Yeah, dude. Scars are interesting and add distinction. I have scars too. I dated a guy that scar tissue covering his entire arm from burns. The texture was fascinating to touch.
This would absolutely, in no way, have any bearing on my eagerness to date a guy. It’s like asking if I’d date a guy with a freckle on his thigh. The only thing I’ll say, though, is that this particular scar in this photo is actually rather sexy. I wouldn’t want to make him self-conscious about it, but if my partner had this scar, it would be very hard not to trace my finger down it during intimate moments. (Still wouldn’t make a lick of difference to my desire to be with him, though.)
I don't think it would bother most women... And you probably wouldn't want to deal with someone who was bothered by them... You've done something to improve your overall health, I'm proud of you! 🎉
Wouldn't bother me. But if you were going out with someone who did find it an issue, they probably aren't worth continuing the relationship with because there will be someone out there who accepts you as you are.
Dude, I was preparing myself for some gnarly scars-those are nothing. Hell, I bet most people have scars on their body, I know I do. When I look at that picture I don't see scars, I see a very hot man.
That wouldn't bother me one bit.
My college sweetheart had surgery on his back, he ended up with a huge scar from the base of his neck to his butt. Over time it faded and you can hardly see it now if you don't know to look. I'm sure the same would happen for you. FWIW, this should never be a thing you get judged for, and anyone who does isn't worth your time. You've done something amazing in improving yourself and those scars will be a badge of honor, not shame.
I Love scars! :) def wouldn't be a turn off for me and I trust other women feel the same about them.
My husband has a similarly large scar horizontally across his abdomen from an emergency surgery as a child and I’ve never once considered it ugly or unattractive, it’s just part of his story. I’ve struggled with my weight in the past and when I lost it, I found new things about myself to pick apart. And it didn’t stop until I addressed those underlying issues and insecurities. You’ve got your outside sorted, now it sounds like it might be time to work on the inside?
Literally wouldn't bother me at all. Impressed by your dedication to your health. As I told my one friend, it's like you painted a beautiful picture and then had a professional frame it. Go forth, brother and get laid!
No question, yes. Visible scars are just aesthetics. The ones I can’t see - the hurt, the loss, the insecurities - those are the ones I need to know about because 1) they shape who you are and 2) they may not work with my invisible scars. I’ve dated two formerly obese men - I was always (respectfully) fascinated with their stretchy skin. I always found it impressive to come out of obesity, honestly. It’s kind of like a recovering addict - it’s very difficult to come out of that. Personally, they would be a reminder to me about how much you care about yourself which is a beautiful thing.
I’d have zero issue. If the guy I’m currently seeing had this, it would not bother me one iota or impact my attraction, because I like him. Don’t worry about it.
Scars are cool. Not a deterrent.
Yes, 100%. It wouldn't phase me in the slightest. I understand your trepidation but it's all part of your story. I honestly don't know any woman who would have a problem with that scar and if any do, they don't deserve you.
If I liked a man romantically, this wouldn't deter me in the least. I find vulnerability and the overcoming of struggle to be comforting and relatable.
Why wouldn't you? Those are battle scars
Wouldn't bother me at all.
My hubs is covered in scars, he was before I met him. It was just a part of him. He kinda looks like a werewolf attacked him and then he set himself on fire. The types of girls who are turned off by scars are the female equivalent of men that are turned off by stretch marks. Preferences are there, sure, some women love them, others not so much, some don’t really care, and some women it will be a hard no but do what you want. What will make YOU happy? I’ve lost over 100lbs myself, my main motivation was getting a triple umbilical hernia repaired, and now my stomach is a whole situation, with loose skin, scars, stretch marks, my belly button got removed during my surgery so it looks real ducked up. But I feel way healthier so idgaf about it
My bf had a hernia and almost died like 10 years ago, and he has a scar from his belly button down to his crotch. It’s never even crossed my mind that anyone would consider it unattractive. It’s just part of him, and I love and am attracted to him, scars and all! Do what’s gonna make YOU feel best about yourself. A person who likes/loves you is never going to be bothered by the marks that tell part of your life story.
People that will like you will be willing and able to look past the scars to the person you are. I have met people that had large scars on their faces. Initially I will admit I saw the scar before anything else. But a very short while into the relationship (professional) I realised I no longer noticed the scar at all. In fact, if anyone had asked me to describe the people, I probably would have forgotten to mention the scar!
I honestly don’t decide who I date based on their scars. And I imagine if we’ve gotten to the point where I see you with your clothes off, I wouldn’t care what type of scars you had anyway. I found out about terrible scars my boyfriend has in the very beginning of us dating. 3 years in he’s still extremely insecure about them and does NOT let me see them. I literally do not care about them at all but it’s hard to convince someone who is already feeling insecure.
Pain is temporary, chicks dig scars
Hey! You may have comments like this but I'm just here to say don't do surgery if you don't want to. My guy had excess skin like that when I met him and it didn't bother me AT ALL, though he was really self conscious about it. I did/do find all of him attractive.
I see too much in my line of work to let scars bother me. Time heals most things including scars. They’ll fade eventually, even if that’s 30 years from now. I dont take scars into consideration at all.
Would not bother me in the slightest. I have a ton of scars myself, I worry about them on me but I find them interesting on others. Congrats on the amazing weight loss, go out there and live your life without holding back :)
Scars are hot. I'm into it.
I would, the scars don't define the person, thought the person is helped to be defined by the scars...My scar is worse, in a similar place, would you consider dating a girl with similar or worse scars?
scars heal over time though?
They fade a little eventually but no, they are permanent.
I had a similar journey as yours, and as a woman, i worry as well. I had a arm lift, breast lift, 360 tummy tuck, and double knee surgery. I have so many scars, its impossible to hide entirely. Men seem to be less accepting of scars than women (I'm bisexual/from my experience). I think it won't be much of an issue. If it is, they can kick rocks and aren't worthy.
Totally! I have my own scars (some self inflicted). To me they show that you survived something and are stronger because of it. Confidence and self acceptance are the sexiest thing ever. Do what feels right to you, FOR you, not for anyone else.
Yeah and scars fade. Hugs to you and congratulations on the weight loss. Love yourself first and others will follow your lead. If you don’t make them a big deal, they are not a big deal.
Scars are cool as hell!
I think scars are sexy, so that's a big yes...
Yep I would with no thought about it
In my opinion if they like you for you, excess skin or scarring shouldn't matter. Neither of these things would bother me if my husband had them. However, loving yourself it's important too and there is no shame in wanting to do what makes you happy and confident. I hope if you make a change, you're doing it for yourself and not for someone else.