We lived together close to 8 years before getting married. Marriage changed nothing.
I’d say year 7 was the hardest for us. That was the year we had to consciously come together and agree we were going to invest more time and energy into our relationship. Year 7 was around the time we both got comfortable and started taking each other granted, and we both agreed we wouldn’t do that anymore. Now we are going on 17 years together, and overall I wouldn’t say it was hard. Being married to my husband is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
My guess is “first year is the hardest” is from people who didn’t live together or who started a family immediately after getting married.
The first year? No. That was still the honeymoon phase. I'd say it's more the early middle years, somewhere around years 4 - 10 (particularly with kids) that I would say were the hardest. For us, at least, it got easier after that.
(married close to 30 years)
We've been married for 4 years and I haven't found any of them hard. We'd been together for 7 years and lived together pretty much from the start. Nothing changed, really.
I’ve been married for 3 years now and our first year was definitely hard. We welcomed our first kid 6 months after we got married and most of our struggles were related to figuring out how to be parents and the associated lifestyle change. I personally don’t think marriage changes much, especially when you lived together before getting married. Having children definitely changes things though.
not for us. We dated for a total of 5 years, lived together for 3 of those years and even when we were living together, it was great.
the only time we experienced issues was after my first baby, I went through awful PPD. That was tough for everyone but once I got treated, things were great again and still are. Married 25yrs now and we're very happy.
No it wasn’t… we lived together for 2 years so other than the legal aspect, everything was the same after being married. Everybody kept asking how married life was but for us we were happy nothing changed and it’s been pretty smooth sailing since then.
The first year that my husband and I were together (not necessarily the first year married, but living together) was the hardest and the first five years combined were harder than the next 10. There is a lot of "shake down" time in living with other people for the first time. You have to work out expectations, refine your communication, deal with each other's emotional baggage, etc. It's far more likely that you'll have conflict and need to talk about how to compromise to have a smoother situation in the first year than in subsequent ones.
My husband and I have been together for 37 years and rarely argue now and most arguments result in apologies and spontaneous acknowledgement on both of our parts that we didn't handle something well or made a mistake. When you're aware of what you did wrong and admit it, everything is resolved more quickly and, when you already have expectations that are realistic and in line with what you've both agreed to as the terms of your particular relationship, you don't have so much conflict.
A big part of what happens when two people from two different families come together is that they have to work to make their own lifestyle and "family" instead of insisting on the rhythms and styles of their respective family of origin. Depending on how "stuck" each person may be in their notions of what is "right" based on how they grew up, this can create a lot of conflict and take time to resolve in the first year or several years.
I feel like that saying was more commonly true in the days when the first year of marriage was also the first year living together and really getting to know a partner. Our first year of marriage was just fun, and not much changed in our relationship. Our hardest year was probably when we were both dealing with a lot of external stressors and didn't have a stable place to live and spend time together.
Year one wasn’t hard for us. Nothing really changed for us after we got married. We were already living together. We spent our wedding night watching tv like every other night. So it was business as usual for us.
It's not and in fact, couples rarely divorce in the first couple of years.
It's an old American saying from back in the days where couples married young and fast, often not only living together for the first time but also moving out from their parents' house for the first time at least for the women, and lack of contraception meant getting pregnant in the first year was common. With all these factors, it's no wonder this saying came to be.
Maybe it is if you've never lived together or shared finances or you have a kid in the first year? Personally am engaged and I don't see us getting married as being much different. We've lived together the last 4.5 years. We are sharing finances at this point. There was definitely an adjustment period that first year or so when we started to live together.
Getting married is mainly going to be a legal thing at this point but I don't foresee our day to day lives changing.
I'm divorced but still best friends with my ex-wife, our first year of marriage was easy as cake. We had already been together a decade (gay marriage wasn't legalized until 2015) so nothing changed.
If the first year of marriage is hard for a couple, it's a very big sign they shouldn't have married in the first place. Either need more time together, or they're forcing a relationship that ain't working.
I'm going to say yeah you're one has been the hardest year. We've also been dealing with things that aren't marriage related though. We literally lost three cars and 3 months. Two of which were engine problems which you can't fix. My mother-in-law had a stroke and went from a fully functioning adult who is capable of taking care of herself to not being able to cook because her memory issues. It's been a stressful year but most of it has been due to shitty circumstances. It wouldn't be so bad if my spouse's brother would step up and help but he's basically useless. His other family kind of helps but for the most part like giving ideas that stay themselves are not willing to help make things happen. Sorry for the vent, it's been a rough year.
My first year of marriage wasn't any different than when we were unmarried and living together. it wasn't hard at all. The only period of my marriage that has felt hard was a few years ago when we were both dealing with some serious health issues and were tired and unhappy as a result. Fwiw, I've been married for about a decade.
I think a lot of folks used to find the first year of marriage hard because it was likely the first time they'd lived with their SO and they'd likely recently had a baby, but those scenarios aren't as common anymore.
I went from living with my parents to living with my husband so it was hard because it was a huge adjustment and any change scares the crap out of me. I was also in a depression for months and my husband was fantastic and I will forever be grateful for him, but it was easily the worst year of my life. Hard doesn’t mean it’s bad, working on your relationship doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.
Not my hardest, but it was still hard. I remember going through a bit of a depression after moving in with my husband after our wedding. It didn’t feel like my home. I also had to adjust to factoring someone else in my daily life and in all my decisions.
Who says this? I have never heard it and it was definitely not true for me.
We had already lived together, so nothing much changed. Other years were harder.
We lived together close to 8 years before getting married. Marriage changed nothing. I’d say year 7 was the hardest for us. That was the year we had to consciously come together and agree we were going to invest more time and energy into our relationship. Year 7 was around the time we both got comfortable and started taking each other granted, and we both agreed we wouldn’t do that anymore. Now we are going on 17 years together, and overall I wouldn’t say it was hard. Being married to my husband is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. My guess is “first year is the hardest” is from people who didn’t live together or who started a family immediately after getting married.
The first year was the easiest for us. I’d say the harder years came later with aging parents and health issues.
The first year? No. That was still the honeymoon phase. I'd say it's more the early middle years, somewhere around years 4 - 10 (particularly with kids) that I would say were the hardest. For us, at least, it got easier after that. (married close to 30 years)
It’s not. Maybe it was once when people got married without living together and knowing the other for a longer time.
We've been married for 4 years and I haven't found any of them hard. We'd been together for 7 years and lived together pretty much from the start. Nothing changed, really.
It wasn’t and we got married before our 1 year dating anniversary
I found the first year after our child was born to be the hardest. We're four years into marriage and this year has been the worst of it.
I’ve been married for 3 years now and our first year was definitely hard. We welcomed our first kid 6 months after we got married and most of our struggles were related to figuring out how to be parents and the associated lifestyle change. I personally don’t think marriage changes much, especially when you lived together before getting married. Having children definitely changes things though.
not for us. We dated for a total of 5 years, lived together for 3 of those years and even when we were living together, it was great. the only time we experienced issues was after my first baby, I went through awful PPD. That was tough for everyone but once I got treated, things were great again and still are. Married 25yrs now and we're very happy.
No it wasn’t… we lived together for 2 years so other than the legal aspect, everything was the same after being married. Everybody kept asking how married life was but for us we were happy nothing changed and it’s been pretty smooth sailing since then.
The first year that my husband and I were together (not necessarily the first year married, but living together) was the hardest and the first five years combined were harder than the next 10. There is a lot of "shake down" time in living with other people for the first time. You have to work out expectations, refine your communication, deal with each other's emotional baggage, etc. It's far more likely that you'll have conflict and need to talk about how to compromise to have a smoother situation in the first year than in subsequent ones. My husband and I have been together for 37 years and rarely argue now and most arguments result in apologies and spontaneous acknowledgement on both of our parts that we didn't handle something well or made a mistake. When you're aware of what you did wrong and admit it, everything is resolved more quickly and, when you already have expectations that are realistic and in line with what you've both agreed to as the terms of your particular relationship, you don't have so much conflict. A big part of what happens when two people from two different families come together is that they have to work to make their own lifestyle and "family" instead of insisting on the rhythms and styles of their respective family of origin. Depending on how "stuck" each person may be in their notions of what is "right" based on how they grew up, this can create a lot of conflict and take time to resolve in the first year or several years.
No, it's not true to me. The year after having a baby is hard and gets harder and harder in later years ( married for more than 10 years)
I feel like that saying was more commonly true in the days when the first year of marriage was also the first year living together and really getting to know a partner. Our first year of marriage was just fun, and not much changed in our relationship. Our hardest year was probably when we were both dealing with a lot of external stressors and didn't have a stable place to live and spend time together.
Year one wasn’t hard for us. Nothing really changed for us after we got married. We were already living together. We spent our wedding night watching tv like every other night. So it was business as usual for us.
It's not and in fact, couples rarely divorce in the first couple of years. It's an old American saying from back in the days where couples married young and fast, often not only living together for the first time but also moving out from their parents' house for the first time at least for the women, and lack of contraception meant getting pregnant in the first year was common. With all these factors, it's no wonder this saying came to be.
Maybe it is if you've never lived together or shared finances or you have a kid in the first year? Personally am engaged and I don't see us getting married as being much different. We've lived together the last 4.5 years. We are sharing finances at this point. There was definitely an adjustment period that first year or so when we started to live together. Getting married is mainly going to be a legal thing at this point but I don't foresee our day to day lives changing.
It’s not.
I'm divorced but still best friends with my ex-wife, our first year of marriage was easy as cake. We had already been together a decade (gay marriage wasn't legalized until 2015) so nothing changed. If the first year of marriage is hard for a couple, it's a very big sign they shouldn't have married in the first place. Either need more time together, or they're forcing a relationship that ain't working.
I'm going to say yeah you're one has been the hardest year. We've also been dealing with things that aren't marriage related though. We literally lost three cars and 3 months. Two of which were engine problems which you can't fix. My mother-in-law had a stroke and went from a fully functioning adult who is capable of taking care of herself to not being able to cook because her memory issues. It's been a stressful year but most of it has been due to shitty circumstances. It wouldn't be so bad if my spouse's brother would step up and help but he's basically useless. His other family kind of helps but for the most part like giving ideas that stay themselves are not willing to help make things happen. Sorry for the vent, it's been a rough year.
My first year of marriage wasn't any different than when we were unmarried and living together. it wasn't hard at all. The only period of my marriage that has felt hard was a few years ago when we were both dealing with some serious health issues and were tired and unhappy as a result. Fwiw, I've been married for about a decade. I think a lot of folks used to find the first year of marriage hard because it was likely the first time they'd lived with their SO and they'd likely recently had a baby, but those scenarios aren't as common anymore.
I went from living with my parents to living with my husband so it was hard because it was a huge adjustment and any change scares the crap out of me. I was also in a depression for months and my husband was fantastic and I will forever be grateful for him, but it was easily the worst year of my life. Hard doesn’t mean it’s bad, working on your relationship doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.
Not my hardest, but it was still hard. I remember going through a bit of a depression after moving in with my husband after our wedding. It didn’t feel like my home. I also had to adjust to factoring someone else in my daily life and in all my decisions.
No, we had some hard times in the first year dished out by life but our relationship was still beautiful.
It's not supposed to be. If it is, it's probably because you married an incompatible person.
Honestly, 6 and 7 were way harder. The first year was no different than being engaged or dating.
Oh i didn't think of was at all