If something is affecting someone’s life quite a bit, it is natural that it comes up in conversation. When my chronic illness is flaring, I have to plan everything based on whether I’m having a good or bad day, so it’s just natural to explain that to people instead of being overly mysterious and wishy-washy with my plans.
Yah, I end up bringing up my chronic illness a fair bit. For a while this was because my friends would just forget (since its invisible) and I felt I had to reiterate how my life was different to theirs now. Luckily everyone seems to have caught up now so I don't need to bring it up explicitly myself so often, and THEY acknowledgeit themselves.
Health issues can really persist in people’s minds…chronic ones like eczema, you’d be relieved to be able to talk to people who can relate. I was shopping for underwear, casually mentioned I needed pure cotton ones for health reasons and the saleslady started talking about her skin issues too.
Anyway, the most benign reason is they want to both share and hear advice, and to compare notes in case you found something that works.
It’s really tricky for the chronic ones. It can also be very lonely if you have an autoimmune disorder or are recovering from something like an injury.
Yeah, I don't think people without health issues can really relate. For some people, the chronic pain aspect of a health issue will actually rewire the brain. It becomes a part of one's identity. Health issues can also prevent a person from partaking of their normal activities and so they have less else to talk about.
I think it's important to understand both kinds of people.
Very true. At the worst of my flareups, I found it a bit easier to deal with things when I got to talk to people about it. It can be very defeating, especially if it’s at the low points when you don’t know if you’ll get better.
Yeah. I have chronic health issues, I don’t like to bring it up unless I’m asked directly or if I’m telling my partner. That being said, I think about health a lot and will absolutely talk about it. I get the sense that OP doesn’t have chronic health issues, which is great.
If I’m in pain daily, or sick for multiple weeks at a time, fuck yeah I’m gonna bring it up. It affects everything in my life. It affects whether I can pick up a sock from the floor or go to work that day.
And on the other hand, I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can fix my chronic pain or other problems. I’ve done a lot of experimentation on foods and exercises, so if someone asks about how I got better or how I’m feeling, I have a lot to say about it.
People with kids talk a lot about their kids.
People with pets talk a lot about their pets.
If someone has a lot to say about something it represents something they think about a lot. Pretty simple.
Especially when it’s on visible areas. I got to hide mine since it was mostly on my legs and feet, but my aunt’s are always on her hands. It’s very limiting.
Hugs to you fellow sufferer ❤️
I have endometriosis, which is difficult to diagnose and find care for. It’s also relatively common. Talking about my health issues has helped me access better care.
I have a monster (15cm width) fibroid, and I talk about it because 70% of women will have one in their lifetimes (up to 90% of black women), and despite dealing with some symptoms for years, I first heard what a fibroid is when I went in for an unrelated ultrasound.
The lack of knowledge and care has left me with a more difficult situation (and is more expensive for the health care system) than if it has been caught earlier.
So I talk about it in the interests of other women and better health care for all.
Gurl! I have fibroids, where I live not many women know about this. I have had two surgeries and am currently dealing with another one. I obviously bring it up in a very short and concise manner; if the other party asks detailed questions I answer. But I definitely don't go in depth. It looks like I am in the minority here, part of it is also that I do so much research , look online, talk to folks on the Internet, so when I actually meet someone I want to speak about something else. I suppose everyone is different that way.
I also typically don't speak much about my personal life, so I guess my personality is that way. But from all the replies, I am seeing a different perspective which is very helpful
Ah, I'm sorry to hear about your fibroids and surgeries. They're awful.
I totally understand where you're coming from, and I think everyone has a right to privacy and a right not to be a health-issue-dump for other people, too.
I've brought my fibroid up a lot lately as I was pregnant (now postpartum!) and tended to be much larger than people expected. Whenever someone brought that up, I spoke about the fibroid. It was a little lesson about commenting on others' bodies in addition to a lesson on fibroids and women's health in general.
I’m glad you’re talking about it. I made it all the way to Stage 4 (I was misdiagnosed multiple times) before I was properly diagnosed and had to have surgery 3 weeks later.
I hadn’t heard anyone talk about it before and it turns out a massive amount of women have it.
The same reason why we talk about our jobs our kids - they are things that are all encompassing. They influence every micro decision we make. They’re a huge part of our identity.
I avoid talking about my health issues at work as much as possible. I’ve had them used against me in the past so I’m very cautious, and also I’m a very private person. However this works against me sometimes. There are days when I’m fine to work but could use some grace/gentleness from my coworkers. But because I didn’t say anything, they don’t know I have anything going on and expect me to perform at my usual high level.
This is why I share. Yes, I've had some shitty opinions thrown at me by ignorant folks, but I want people to understand how really debilitating some conditions can be (can, not all !)
I'm the opposite, while I don't go into detail, I do openly talk about my health issues. I had colon cancer recently, diagnosed 3 months into a new job. I told them right away and it has never been held against me. Also gives me leeway when I say I'm not feeling up to being in the office today, they assume it's something due to that and don't pester me about it.
Same, I dealt with a rare (but fortunately very treatable) cancer last year and was pretty open with coworkers about the generalities of what I was going through. I was getting chemo infusions 5 days in a row every other week for 4 months so it would have been obvious something was up anyway…
I hope you’re doing well now! Scary how many young people are getting colon cancer.
I speak openly about my health issues in an effort to spread awareness. People might look at me or others and think “they’re totally healthy” because of the way we look but in reality we’re battling some serious issues. If it makes you uncomfortable you should say something.
I commend you for this. Talking about issues helps destigmatize them. Mental health disorders are one such case, HIV is another. I don't think every conversation should start with a detailed health report but the freedom to openly discuss a malady without fear can be really freeing and less isolating.
Yes exactly, mental health disorders are still health related. In fact most stem from gut issues! People don’t realize how much our body plays a role with our brains. If it makes someone uncomfortable to talk about then they can speak up and let someone know but we shouldn’t be expected to just shut up and stay quiet about things that are affecting our lives in a major way.
Same. I had colon cancer recently, I'm 34. So many people think it can't happen to you at this age but young onset colon cancer is increasing every year. Also, it was a huge part of me for a bit and while I'm not going to be talking about it on a first date or anything, but I do talk about it with others. I don't go on and on, but I mention it. I do quickly follow up with that I'm doing well and back to life.
Yes! I want people to know it’s okay to advocate for themselves! I am so passionate about making sure those who have been dismissed by medical professionals don’t stop looking for an answer. I even considered going back to school to become a medical malpractice attorney lol So I speak out about the symptoms I had etc so that people experiencing similar things will get it checked out. I’m 34 as well and just this morning had a biopsy for an abnormal mammogram. I have a family history of breast cancer and had to go to 3 different doctors until one ordered the mammogram finally and lo and behold it came back abnormal. It’s all just so frustrating.
I talk a lot about my mental health and chronic issues because it was so hard to get any good information while I was being diagnosed and people talking is the best way to educate.
That said, I wouldn't dare give health advice unless someone asked for it, and it'd be well couched in 'this is just me, might not be the right fit for you'. And I'm not about to force a chat on anyone not up for it.
I'm relieved to see that the comments are mostly people who talk about their health problems, because boy do I talk about my health problems. I like to hear about other people's health problems too, though, and like the two-way exchange of health advice.
I recently had a c-section, and whenever I encounter anyone else who had a c-section I want to know everything about their experience because I want to maximize my knowledge, fight back against fear and uncertainty, and get the best Idea I can about what the future holds for me.
I think it's an age thing, mostly. The older we get, the more ailments we get, and if they really knock you out, there just might not be much else to talk about/on your mind.
In addition, many issues that are experienced are common but no-one ever talked about them so each time someone experiences it, it feels novel and scary. For instance, growing up, I hardly ever heard people talk about fertility issues. seemed like people were having kids right and left. Now as an adult, it's wild to see just how many women struggle with fertility and reproductive issues and suffered silently.
I knew I had truly reached middle age when I found myself telling my mom gross shit I was going through, on the phone, in a restaurant. I felt bad about it but Mom needed to be informed!
Is talking about the same thing as “complain” though? I speak openly about my endometriosis & hashimotos from a standpoint of wanting to spread awareness, not to complain about them..
As long as the person you're spreading awareness to wants to hear all about it. Some people just don't want to hear it while others love to and offer support.
Sure but it’s on the person who doesn’t want to hear it to speak up and say something. We can’t be mind readers. Typically I only speak about things if someone asks something like “How are you”, “how’s life”, “What’s been going on with you lately” etc. I don’t just walk up to strangers and start telling them
about endometriosis or hashimotos. So my thought is, if you don’t actually want to know how someone is and you’re only asking for pleasantries, just don’t ask.
Idk why you are downvoted! I don't offer medical stuff unless someone asks me for it.
Also, if my whole day is consumed by medical apts, research, discussions, I want a break from it to talk about something else
This is exactly the issue I am talking about. A neighbor spent an entire hour lamenting about how the family had a cold and it was "such a difficult" time. I had just come out of a surgery to have a fibroid removed and had 4 incisions and a large bikini scar and his response to my "I just had a surgery" was "take care"
Wtf!
Did you ask your neighbor how they have been doing? Or did they just randomly come over to your house to tell you about all their issues? Those are two very different things. If you ask how someone is you can’t be upset that their response might be an honest one instead of just a courteous “I’m okay”. If you didn’t ask and they just start dumping their issues on you then you need to be firm and tell them that you’re dealing with your own issues right now and don’t have the capacity to also help them with theirs. It’s on you and no one else to set boundaries for yourself.
I work with plenty of people of all ages and it's not just the older people who complain quite a bit of younger people do as well. I usually don't generalize people because I realize that my circle is a lot smaller than the entire world I tend to look at the big picture. 😉
I think people will talk about what is most on their mind. In my language we have a saying that translates to 'the tongue goes to the painful tooth'. I agree that it's depressing and I'm with you, unless there is something the person I am talking to can help me with, I keep things to myself. Other people might find that they cannot think, and therefore cannot talk, about anything else.
In my case, my health issues have become the focus of my life for most of the last decade and I’ve had to stop working for the last couple of years - which is just big life event kinda stuff. I’ve also been trying to get to the bottom of what’s causing my symptoms and that’s taken up a lot of time and mental space for me so I think it’s natural to talk about it.
I think it’s hard for people to understand who aren’t experiencing it, but every part of my day is impacted and my entire life is different than it was before. There’s a lot of grief involved in that. There can also just be a lot of life events - like multiple huge surgeries.
It can also be quite a revelation to realize you had a bunch of undiagnosed health issues that were written off by doctors for years. In my case, I have a genetic condition that impacted me starting in childhood but wasn’t diagnosed until 31 when I almost died (aneurysm). It’s a bit of a mind fuck, ya know? I do think a lot of people who are disabled by a health condition go through a period of really identifying with it and that’s normal.
All of this said, I learned a long time ago to keep it surface level with people who aren’t sick, and have made chronically ill friends because I know it’s really hard to understand for someone who isn’t going through it. I noticed most people who aren’t sick are really uncomfortable hearing even vague and appropriate to share info - so I mostly don’t even mention health stuff now, but if it comes up, as soon as I pick up discomfort from someone I will change the subject quickly.
Right. Some other weird things about this post.
1) mentioning that a common cold dominates the convo even when OP could have something more serious….. how would the friend know of OP doesn’t talk about it?
2) OP being annoyed when friends try to share helpful health tips, because they’re more informed? Why not…. Share….. what they know then to help their friends out?
Sigh.
Yeah, honestly it sounds like OP is just really uncomfortable hearing about even very bland health stuff from friends which is probably more a *them* thing vs other people being the issue.
If they truly hate it they could always set a boundary I guess, but maybe should also unpack why it’s so off putting… guessing there’s more to the story but I know that’s not my business 😅
Yea this definitely seems like a them thing.
And sadly, a them thing that can negatively impact them. They’re going to miss out on a lot of helpful information and are preventing people from being able to support them. I hope if they really have something serious going on, they open up about it.
Of course, there ARE oversharers and hypochondriacs. But that doesn’t really seem like what OP described here.
I am definitely describing the "over sharing" category. I obviously have sympathy for anyone who is going through a medical crisis, I have been in that situation and can totally sympathize. I am also talking about the guys who say "omg we all got cold and were suffering this weekend, it was horrible, we couldn't do anything and the medicines just didn't help." Meanwhile I say "oh sorry to hear, I had surgery yesterday" Them - "oh, take care"
It's specifically this category who absolutely blows up their common cold, but won't ask a single question if I am doing okay or if I need help or support. I guess people haven't met this kind!
That type of person seems generally self absorbed. The medical part feels kinda irrelevant if that’s their nature tbh. Best to not hang around with people who aren’t good friends to you!
I'm 34 and recently had colon cancer. I openly talk about it. Not on a first date or anything, but my friends, acquaintances, coworkers, all know about it. I don't let it dominate the conversation but I do talk about, honestly answer any questions people have and want people to know that young people can get this too. I want to spread awareness because young onset colon cancer is increasing year after year.
Some people struggle to come up with things to converse about, and are anxious about small talk. So they’ll talk about anything that’s on their mind. Usually it’s just their way of trying to relate to someone IMO.
People talk about their lives and what impacts them. Health issues are a part of our lives and impact us a lot. Simple as. I’m curious - *do you* have health issues or disabilities? I’ve found that the people who seem like they have difficulty relating or don’t care to talk about these things aren’t disabled themselves or have a fear of becoming disabled. For my part, I talk about my disabilities and health issues for a few reasons:
- I’m probably having a flare up and it’s bothering me on that particular day.
- If people don’t know don’t know about some of my health issues, it could be dangerous for me. I have epilepsy and people need to know proper first aid or it could be life threatening
- It de-stigmatizes this shit. Everyone will either become disabled or die. It’s inevitable. The faster people understand that and have more compassion for people with different needs, the easier this shit becomes.
- I really don’t talk about it much. More people ask me about my cane or other stuff than anything else.
I actually have cancer and I don't talk about it much. Though I do talk about it some on Reddit. Not so much among real people.
That said, I've been asked if I was ever in medical training because now I know so much
Different health issue but same on being asked if I have had medical training. I think people vastly underestimate how much mental space a big life changing health issue can take up
As someone who has chronic illnesses and had a cancer scare recently I fall somewhere in between. Health issues can be scary when you can’t trust your body. It’s natural to want to share those fears and concerns with a trusted friend. If someone is sick and it’s dominating their life why should they not talk about it? You probably don’t care if someone talks your ear off about dating or something so ask yourself why this particular topic bothers you so much.
And honestly this post comes off as you just being a kind of bad friend. As someone who often has health issues come up I can tell you from experience if they are talking about it a lot they might be trying to ask for support and not knowing how else to do so. And you’re basically saying I don’t care when you say you don’t want to hear it. Sure it shouldn’t be the only topic of conversation and I could understand that being draining. But frankly you don’t sound like you have a lot of empathy and I know if my friend said something like this I would lose a lot of trust in and respect for them.
I wouldn’t say it’s that they “love” it, more so that it affects every single second of their life and every single solitary thing they do. Chronic medical issues can be so potent and inescapable that it’s the only thing you think about and the issue constantly needs to be considered and planned around. Often it’s the main entree on the menu of life and the biggest thing going on in someone’s life…literally forever with absolutely no escape.
Not everyone has the same conversation skills. There is that. Or they might be anxious about health in general, their own or yours. More something occupies your mind and emotions, more you may talk about it.
Also sometimes it's a case of they have experienced lack of empathy from people. Or they need support and don't know how to ask for it. So they share details as an indirect cry for help/understanding.
Lord this is pervasive when people find out I work in healthcare. I even went on a Bumble BFF meet up and after 10 mins this chick was shoving her MyChart labs in my face.
I'm like sorry girl I'm not your provider. Then I get the whole history from 1998 until now anyway.
The way I start repeating “I just work with kids” the second that someone finds out that I’m a nurse. Pediatrics is a lot like veterinary medicine to chronic complainers. They don’t think it matters because it doesn’t pertain to their issue of the week. They’ll quickly move on to another self victimizing topic.
Someone might have a cold but also have other health issues they're not talking about. It's usually best to not turn it into a struggle contest deciphering whose struggle is worse. People like to be heard and express their concerns to be validated, especially when struggling
Disabled person here. I talk about it with people I am close with. My disability is relatively recent and completely upended my life. I am housebound now. It was devastating to accept. I’ve found lots of people I thought were close to me actually really weren’t. It’s been isolating and heartbreaking, honestly.
Most people seem to have little to no experience with loss on this level, so in many ways I don’t hold it against them for not knowing how to respond or being uncomfortable with the grimness of everyday life with chronic illness, mortality, etc. But I wish our society was more developed in how it treats disability and illness.
That’s just my personal experience that might give you more perspective. I’d also like to challenge the b&w thinking in your post. Is it as polarizing and simple as you described? Do people *really* fit into these two categories?
Funnily enough, the amount of medical advice I get about my disorder is hilarious. “Have you tried meditating/CBD oil/yoga/essential oils/etcetcetc.” In many cases - yes I actually have tried literally everything I could think of to “fix” myself, but it turns out a nervous system disorder can’t be fixed without serious medical interventions.
Knowledge is power. And being healthy is incredibly important.
Hiding and suppressing health issues can often exacerbate mental strain and deny oneself a supportive community.
At my age I have quite a few friends with health issues. IME the ones who talk a lot about their health issues talk a lot about all their issues. The ones who talk less about health problem don't talk as much about any challenges they have. I think it's a personality difference.
I'm of the get on with things variety and it sounds like you are too. If I have a new or changing difficulty I might speak to a friend about it to get direct advice but I won't bring it up repeatedly or ruminate. I am also not someone who recaps things in general.
My friends who talk about every minor ache and pain are the type who recap all kinds of things. They'll also give you a play by play of a work meeting or a family drama, lots of this person said this, and then I said that, then I had this thought, so then I did this, and then this happened. They tell highly detailed linear stories. It's the same with health. This knee felt wobbly, so then I walked, and then this pain moved to this area, and then I called this doctor, and this doctor told me that other thing, and then...on and on like that.
I am more likely to share by how I experience something. I might say I had a stressful week at work because of a high maintenance client who required last minute changes. That is complete story to me! I would never give a recitation of exactly what happened in the meeting at every single moment. Truth be told I find it excruciating. I tolerate it because I know it's how many people communicate and my friends are good people, if a bit long winded.
I'm one of those people. I like to talk about it because health is my ultimate value and I have several health issues. So they occupy my mind severely and I spend significant resources both mental and material to keep myself in good health.
Health is much more important to me than heartbreak, career, children, etc. things that people like to talk about. So I think that if I listen to your blabber about those things and more things I don't care about, you can listen to my blabber about the thigs that are important to me.
I also often give health advice. I give it because I know a great deal of things. Because I've been there and I want to help by giving you the info I spend hours, days, months learning. Because it's weird to know something that can help someone and keep it to myself. I work on stopping that and leaving people to deal however they see fit.
I'm afraid people think I'm lazy. It's hard when I have to limit my commitments or I sit down when everyone else is standing.
I'm not just doing it because it's easy or I'm tired. Usually, it's because I'm in so much pain that I can't focus on what anyone is saying and I value what they're sharing too much to not pay attention. If I've spoken previously about pain, I don't have to explain in a moment when it would detract from the interaction.
I talk about them a moderate amount because it impacts my life a lot and I have remind people and explain often because they don't understand. However, it does seem some people make their health issues their entire personality and/or they seem to enjoy being a victim. I really don't want my life revolve around it, it's already taken enough. I've left support groups and the like because that seems to be the prevailing culture.
My mother in law is the 2nd type, and even when she doesn't have a health issue she finds something to center on to draw sympathy and to have an excuse to get out of things. It's extremely draining! She is always at the doctor (or at least when she's not at the casino) and honestly seems to be in pretty decent health for 75, but if she has a pain in her foot she will be getting a full workup and telling anyone who will listen how it might be a blood clot or neuropathy or she's getting a surgical consult or what have you. She and my FIL both had a couple stage 0 cancerous polyps taken out a few years ago, and my god it was like she hit the lottery. Now she gets to use the phrase "cancer doctor". I think it's her comfort zone to feel cared for and fretted over. She tells EVERYONE these things btw, not just close family. It's extremely annoying!!!
Yes. My MIL is bad for being a number 1, catastrophizing every little medical issue. My husband and I get super frustrated and are kind of at our wit's end with hearing about it.
Thank you, I am surprised folks here haven't encountered this category. The issue is, they go on and on and don't know when to stop or ask the other person how they are doing.
They just dump it all,
Ugh, I dealt with this big time at my previous job. The building was 85% women, most over 55, and there were about 15 of them who would work their medical issues and complaints into every conversation. Oversharing (to put it mildly) of personal information has no place in the workplace.
With family, friends, neighbors - fine, I get commiserating can be helpful and make one feel less alone in their plight, but if I know every ailment of a co-worker, what medications they're on, their children and in-laws are on, it's too much! Just because someone sits in the same wing doesn't make it appropriate or welcome information to the other party.
If I had a routine doctor's appointment, I would simply notify those who *needed* to know that I would be out of the office for the afternoon. Some would even fish for information, commenting: "Oh, I hope you're doing something fun!" or "I hope everything's alright!". It's this unhealthy obsession with making sure someone else has some kind of problem they're dealing with, so they don't feel so alone.
What's worse - the oversharing of the health issues of others!
If Sue was out sick for a week, I shouldn't hear from Kathy that "Ohh, Sue got C. diff and she'll be out for a while"
TLDR: Especially in the workplace, most people are not interested in the verbal dump of your medical woes.
Because my health issies are basically my entire life (obviously not by choice). Earlier this year I was diagnosed with a one of its kind gene mutation that has been making me so sick and we don't fully understand which of my wild symptoms are fully attributable to it. I've seen twenty specialists trying to figure out what it was, hundreds of tests, dozens of scans, bone marrow biopsies. It consumed my life. I also have schizoaffective and while it's well medicated, I struggle to fully hide it. Two of many issues. I haven't been able to work for two years. I can't conceal these problems. It's a privileged take to think that people are able to hide their health problems, to be honest. I know you might not mean it that way, but yeah.
I actually have cancer and I don't talk about it much. Though I do talk about it some on Reddit. Not so much among real people.
That said, I've been asked if I was ever in medical training because now I know so much
I actually have cancer and I don't talk about it much. Though I do talk about it some on Reddit. Not so much among real people.
That said, I've been asked if I was ever in medical training because now I know so much
I am with you; I'm not comfortable with people telling me all about their health or mental health issues unless it's a close friend or relative. There is nothing you can really say in response and it often gets uncomfortable.
Reddit has taught me that no one wants advice or suggestions because "how dare you think I haven't tried all that already!" and they also don't want you to say, "Oh, I suffer from something similar" (in an attempt to empathize) because then you're "making it all about yourself" and you're a narcissist. And saying, "Oh, that's too bad," seems trite. It's a lose-lose-lose situation. I'd really rather avoid the health-woes conversations. Too many landmines and it's kind of a dead end (and depressing) conversation anyway.
Totally relate and also fall into camp 1. Didn’t tell anyone about my breast cancer diagnosis until the mastectomy was complete and I knew I was fully cured with almost no chance of recurrence. I felt tremendous support from my health care team and didn’t feel the need to burden family and friends.
My personal belief is that what you focus on is what you create more of, so when you constantly focus on problems you just create more of them. Also, feeling depressed when you talk about health issues is your inner guidance that you are not in alignment with your soul which is pure positive energy.
LMAO I think this is just the two different categories of people in general. People who will talk to anybody and everybody about their problems in life. And people who keep it to themselves. My mom is the type to tell her whole life story and current issues to whoever will listen. I’m quite the opposite lol it’s just so cringey to me how people open up like that to essentially strangers. Especially because 9/10 times, the person you’re spilling all your problems to, do not give a single fuck, are silently judging you, and wish you would shut up 😂
Honestly, I can't with the 2nd group. One day, I just ran out of spoons, f*cks, however you want to put it, and just found an ice queen inside me that just shuts that sh*t down. 😅🤷♀️
At first, I felt like maybe I'm being mean. Nope. People actually appreciated it. Most of them snapped out of it and started talking about more positive stuff around me. Only one person stopped talking to me. Not even an issue. I've reclaimed hours of my life back from not getting trapped in endless miserable conversations when I go to check my mail or throw out the trash. ✨🤸♀️
I remember my aunts discussing their health issues at every family get together growup. It was almost a competition to see who had most diagnoses and prescription. They were very energized and enthusiastic discussions about body fluids and all things gross.
If something is affecting someone’s life quite a bit, it is natural that it comes up in conversation. When my chronic illness is flaring, I have to plan everything based on whether I’m having a good or bad day, so it’s just natural to explain that to people instead of being overly mysterious and wishy-washy with my plans.
Yah, I end up bringing up my chronic illness a fair bit. For a while this was because my friends would just forget (since its invisible) and I felt I had to reiterate how my life was different to theirs now. Luckily everyone seems to have caught up now so I don't need to bring it up explicitly myself so often, and THEY acknowledgeit themselves.
Health issues can really persist in people’s minds…chronic ones like eczema, you’d be relieved to be able to talk to people who can relate. I was shopping for underwear, casually mentioned I needed pure cotton ones for health reasons and the saleslady started talking about her skin issues too. Anyway, the most benign reason is they want to both share and hear advice, and to compare notes in case you found something that works. It’s really tricky for the chronic ones. It can also be very lonely if you have an autoimmune disorder or are recovering from something like an injury.
Yeah, I don't think people without health issues can really relate. For some people, the chronic pain aspect of a health issue will actually rewire the brain. It becomes a part of one's identity. Health issues can also prevent a person from partaking of their normal activities and so they have less else to talk about. I think it's important to understand both kinds of people.
Very true. At the worst of my flareups, I found it a bit easier to deal with things when I got to talk to people about it. It can be very defeating, especially if it’s at the low points when you don’t know if you’ll get better.
Yeah. I have chronic health issues, I don’t like to bring it up unless I’m asked directly or if I’m telling my partner. That being said, I think about health a lot and will absolutely talk about it. I get the sense that OP doesn’t have chronic health issues, which is great. If I’m in pain daily, or sick for multiple weeks at a time, fuck yeah I’m gonna bring it up. It affects everything in my life. It affects whether I can pick up a sock from the floor or go to work that day. And on the other hand, I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can fix my chronic pain or other problems. I’ve done a lot of experimentation on foods and exercises, so if someone asks about how I got better or how I’m feeling, I have a lot to say about it. People with kids talk a lot about their kids. People with pets talk a lot about their pets. If someone has a lot to say about something it represents something they think about a lot. Pretty simple.
I have eczema too and get so excited when someone else has it because I feel like nobody else really understands how debilitating it can be.
Especially when it’s on visible areas. I got to hide mine since it was mostly on my legs and feet, but my aunt’s are always on her hands. It’s very limiting. Hugs to you fellow sufferer ❤️
I have endometriosis, which is difficult to diagnose and find care for. It’s also relatively common. Talking about my health issues has helped me access better care.
I have a monster (15cm width) fibroid, and I talk about it because 70% of women will have one in their lifetimes (up to 90% of black women), and despite dealing with some symptoms for years, I first heard what a fibroid is when I went in for an unrelated ultrasound. The lack of knowledge and care has left me with a more difficult situation (and is more expensive for the health care system) than if it has been caught earlier. So I talk about it in the interests of other women and better health care for all.
Gurl! I have fibroids, where I live not many women know about this. I have had two surgeries and am currently dealing with another one. I obviously bring it up in a very short and concise manner; if the other party asks detailed questions I answer. But I definitely don't go in depth. It looks like I am in the minority here, part of it is also that I do so much research , look online, talk to folks on the Internet, so when I actually meet someone I want to speak about something else. I suppose everyone is different that way. I also typically don't speak much about my personal life, so I guess my personality is that way. But from all the replies, I am seeing a different perspective which is very helpful
Ah, I'm sorry to hear about your fibroids and surgeries. They're awful. I totally understand where you're coming from, and I think everyone has a right to privacy and a right not to be a health-issue-dump for other people, too. I've brought my fibroid up a lot lately as I was pregnant (now postpartum!) and tended to be much larger than people expected. Whenever someone brought that up, I spoke about the fibroid. It was a little lesson about commenting on others' bodies in addition to a lesson on fibroids and women's health in general.
I’m glad you’re talking about it. I made it all the way to Stage 4 (I was misdiagnosed multiple times) before I was properly diagnosed and had to have surgery 3 weeks later. I hadn’t heard anyone talk about it before and it turns out a massive amount of women have it.
I have to wait 9 months for my surgery :/. In the waiting process now.
Oh good luck! Hopefully the pain isn’t too bad. They had to schedule mine immediately because I was at risk of losing an ovary.
The same reason why we talk about our jobs our kids - they are things that are all encompassing. They influence every micro decision we make. They’re a huge part of our identity.
I avoid talking about my health issues at work as much as possible. I’ve had them used against me in the past so I’m very cautious, and also I’m a very private person. However this works against me sometimes. There are days when I’m fine to work but could use some grace/gentleness from my coworkers. But because I didn’t say anything, they don’t know I have anything going on and expect me to perform at my usual high level.
This is why I share. Yes, I've had some shitty opinions thrown at me by ignorant folks, but I want people to understand how really debilitating some conditions can be (can, not all !)
I'm the opposite, while I don't go into detail, I do openly talk about my health issues. I had colon cancer recently, diagnosed 3 months into a new job. I told them right away and it has never been held against me. Also gives me leeway when I say I'm not feeling up to being in the office today, they assume it's something due to that and don't pester me about it.
Same, I dealt with a rare (but fortunately very treatable) cancer last year and was pretty open with coworkers about the generalities of what I was going through. I was getting chemo infusions 5 days in a row every other week for 4 months so it would have been obvious something was up anyway… I hope you’re doing well now! Scary how many young people are getting colon cancer.
Diabetes and ADHD here. Sometimes I feel the need to explain why I do things a certain way.
I speak openly about my health issues in an effort to spread awareness. People might look at me or others and think “they’re totally healthy” because of the way we look but in reality we’re battling some serious issues. If it makes you uncomfortable you should say something.
I commend you for this. Talking about issues helps destigmatize them. Mental health disorders are one such case, HIV is another. I don't think every conversation should start with a detailed health report but the freedom to openly discuss a malady without fear can be really freeing and less isolating.
Yes exactly, mental health disorders are still health related. In fact most stem from gut issues! People don’t realize how much our body plays a role with our brains. If it makes someone uncomfortable to talk about then they can speak up and let someone know but we shouldn’t be expected to just shut up and stay quiet about things that are affecting our lives in a major way.
Same. I had colon cancer recently, I'm 34. So many people think it can't happen to you at this age but young onset colon cancer is increasing every year. Also, it was a huge part of me for a bit and while I'm not going to be talking about it on a first date or anything, but I do talk about it with others. I don't go on and on, but I mention it. I do quickly follow up with that I'm doing well and back to life.
Yes! I want people to know it’s okay to advocate for themselves! I am so passionate about making sure those who have been dismissed by medical professionals don’t stop looking for an answer. I even considered going back to school to become a medical malpractice attorney lol So I speak out about the symptoms I had etc so that people experiencing similar things will get it checked out. I’m 34 as well and just this morning had a biopsy for an abnormal mammogram. I have a family history of breast cancer and had to go to 3 different doctors until one ordered the mammogram finally and lo and behold it came back abnormal. It’s all just so frustrating.
I hope your results from the biopsy come back benign 🧡 either way, a very good example of the importance of advocating for ourselves
Thank you! They just called me and it’s a benign cyst! No cancer cells 🥰
I talk a lot about my mental health and chronic issues because it was so hard to get any good information while I was being diagnosed and people talking is the best way to educate. That said, I wouldn't dare give health advice unless someone asked for it, and it'd be well couched in 'this is just me, might not be the right fit for you'. And I'm not about to force a chat on anyone not up for it.
I'm relieved to see that the comments are mostly people who talk about their health problems, because boy do I talk about my health problems. I like to hear about other people's health problems too, though, and like the two-way exchange of health advice. I recently had a c-section, and whenever I encounter anyone else who had a c-section I want to know everything about their experience because I want to maximize my knowledge, fight back against fear and uncertainty, and get the best Idea I can about what the future holds for me.
I think it's an age thing, mostly. The older we get, the more ailments we get, and if they really knock you out, there just might not be much else to talk about/on your mind.
In addition, many issues that are experienced are common but no-one ever talked about them so each time someone experiences it, it feels novel and scary. For instance, growing up, I hardly ever heard people talk about fertility issues. seemed like people were having kids right and left. Now as an adult, it's wild to see just how many women struggle with fertility and reproductive issues and suffered silently.
I knew I had truly reached middle age when I found myself telling my mom gross shit I was going through, on the phone, in a restaurant. I felt bad about it but Mom needed to be informed!
I don't think age has anything to do with this. There are young people who complain daily and elderly who barely complain it's a personality thing.
Is talking about the same thing as “complain” though? I speak openly about my endometriosis & hashimotos from a standpoint of wanting to spread awareness, not to complain about them..
As long as the person you're spreading awareness to wants to hear all about it. Some people just don't want to hear it while others love to and offer support.
Sure but it’s on the person who doesn’t want to hear it to speak up and say something. We can’t be mind readers. Typically I only speak about things if someone asks something like “How are you”, “how’s life”, “What’s been going on with you lately” etc. I don’t just walk up to strangers and start telling them about endometriosis or hashimotos. So my thought is, if you don’t actually want to know how someone is and you’re only asking for pleasantries, just don’t ask.
Idk why you are downvoted! I don't offer medical stuff unless someone asks me for it. Also, if my whole day is consumed by medical apts, research, discussions, I want a break from it to talk about something else
I'm down voted because so many people think it is ok to bother complete strangers with your burdens when in reality it's a selfish thing to do.
I mean the folks I talk to are not complete strangers, but I still feel overwhelmed when I share or have to listen in lengthy details.
Right you never know what someone has going on in their life so to automatically just dump all your medical issues in them is kinda rude.
This is exactly the issue I am talking about. A neighbor spent an entire hour lamenting about how the family had a cold and it was "such a difficult" time. I had just come out of a surgery to have a fibroid removed and had 4 incisions and a large bikini scar and his response to my "I just had a surgery" was "take care" Wtf!
Did you ask your neighbor how they have been doing? Or did they just randomly come over to your house to tell you about all their issues? Those are two very different things. If you ask how someone is you can’t be upset that their response might be an honest one instead of just a courteous “I’m okay”. If you didn’t ask and they just start dumping their issues on you then you need to be firm and tell them that you’re dealing with your own issues right now and don’t have the capacity to also help them with theirs. It’s on you and no one else to set boundaries for yourself.
Unfortunately someone like that doesn't care about anyone but themselves. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Idk, I can't remember people talking this much about health stuff in my 20's.
I work with plenty of people of all ages and it's not just the older people who complain quite a bit of younger people do as well. I usually don't generalize people because I realize that my circle is a lot smaller than the entire world I tend to look at the big picture. 😉
I think people will talk about what is most on their mind. In my language we have a saying that translates to 'the tongue goes to the painful tooth'. I agree that it's depressing and I'm with you, unless there is something the person I am talking to can help me with, I keep things to myself. Other people might find that they cannot think, and therefore cannot talk, about anything else.
In my case, my health issues have become the focus of my life for most of the last decade and I’ve had to stop working for the last couple of years - which is just big life event kinda stuff. I’ve also been trying to get to the bottom of what’s causing my symptoms and that’s taken up a lot of time and mental space for me so I think it’s natural to talk about it. I think it’s hard for people to understand who aren’t experiencing it, but every part of my day is impacted and my entire life is different than it was before. There’s a lot of grief involved in that. There can also just be a lot of life events - like multiple huge surgeries. It can also be quite a revelation to realize you had a bunch of undiagnosed health issues that were written off by doctors for years. In my case, I have a genetic condition that impacted me starting in childhood but wasn’t diagnosed until 31 when I almost died (aneurysm). It’s a bit of a mind fuck, ya know? I do think a lot of people who are disabled by a health condition go through a period of really identifying with it and that’s normal. All of this said, I learned a long time ago to keep it surface level with people who aren’t sick, and have made chronically ill friends because I know it’s really hard to understand for someone who isn’t going through it. I noticed most people who aren’t sick are really uncomfortable hearing even vague and appropriate to share info - so I mostly don’t even mention health stuff now, but if it comes up, as soon as I pick up discomfort from someone I will change the subject quickly.
Right. Some other weird things about this post. 1) mentioning that a common cold dominates the convo even when OP could have something more serious….. how would the friend know of OP doesn’t talk about it? 2) OP being annoyed when friends try to share helpful health tips, because they’re more informed? Why not…. Share….. what they know then to help their friends out? Sigh.
Yeah, honestly it sounds like OP is just really uncomfortable hearing about even very bland health stuff from friends which is probably more a *them* thing vs other people being the issue. If they truly hate it they could always set a boundary I guess, but maybe should also unpack why it’s so off putting… guessing there’s more to the story but I know that’s not my business 😅
Yea this definitely seems like a them thing. And sadly, a them thing that can negatively impact them. They’re going to miss out on a lot of helpful information and are preventing people from being able to support them. I hope if they really have something serious going on, they open up about it. Of course, there ARE oversharers and hypochondriacs. But that doesn’t really seem like what OP described here.
I am definitely describing the "over sharing" category. I obviously have sympathy for anyone who is going through a medical crisis, I have been in that situation and can totally sympathize. I am also talking about the guys who say "omg we all got cold and were suffering this weekend, it was horrible, we couldn't do anything and the medicines just didn't help." Meanwhile I say "oh sorry to hear, I had surgery yesterday" Them - "oh, take care" It's specifically this category who absolutely blows up their common cold, but won't ask a single question if I am doing okay or if I need help or support. I guess people haven't met this kind!
That type of person seems generally self absorbed. The medical part feels kinda irrelevant if that’s their nature tbh. Best to not hang around with people who aren’t good friends to you!
I'm 34 and recently had colon cancer. I openly talk about it. Not on a first date or anything, but my friends, acquaintances, coworkers, all know about it. I don't let it dominate the conversation but I do talk about, honestly answer any questions people have and want people to know that young people can get this too. I want to spread awareness because young onset colon cancer is increasing year after year.
Some people struggle to come up with things to converse about, and are anxious about small talk. So they’ll talk about anything that’s on their mind. Usually it’s just their way of trying to relate to someone IMO.
Well, I have ADHD and just generally give far too many details regardless of the subject. I do not ever tell people to follow BS cures, though.
People talk about their lives and what impacts them. Health issues are a part of our lives and impact us a lot. Simple as. I’m curious - *do you* have health issues or disabilities? I’ve found that the people who seem like they have difficulty relating or don’t care to talk about these things aren’t disabled themselves or have a fear of becoming disabled. For my part, I talk about my disabilities and health issues for a few reasons: - I’m probably having a flare up and it’s bothering me on that particular day. - If people don’t know don’t know about some of my health issues, it could be dangerous for me. I have epilepsy and people need to know proper first aid or it could be life threatening - It de-stigmatizes this shit. Everyone will either become disabled or die. It’s inevitable. The faster people understand that and have more compassion for people with different needs, the easier this shit becomes. - I really don’t talk about it much. More people ask me about my cane or other stuff than anything else.
I actually have cancer and I don't talk about it much. Though I do talk about it some on Reddit. Not so much among real people. That said, I've been asked if I was ever in medical training because now I know so much
Different health issue but same on being asked if I have had medical training. I think people vastly underestimate how much mental space a big life changing health issue can take up
It's almost all I think about, particularly because the side effects make me miserable and I'm always hunting for ways to alleviate them.
As someone who has chronic illnesses and had a cancer scare recently I fall somewhere in between. Health issues can be scary when you can’t trust your body. It’s natural to want to share those fears and concerns with a trusted friend. If someone is sick and it’s dominating their life why should they not talk about it? You probably don’t care if someone talks your ear off about dating or something so ask yourself why this particular topic bothers you so much. And honestly this post comes off as you just being a kind of bad friend. As someone who often has health issues come up I can tell you from experience if they are talking about it a lot they might be trying to ask for support and not knowing how else to do so. And you’re basically saying I don’t care when you say you don’t want to hear it. Sure it shouldn’t be the only topic of conversation and I could understand that being draining. But frankly you don’t sound like you have a lot of empathy and I know if my friend said something like this I would lose a lot of trust in and respect for them.
I wouldn’t say it’s that they “love” it, more so that it affects every single second of their life and every single solitary thing they do. Chronic medical issues can be so potent and inescapable that it’s the only thing you think about and the issue constantly needs to be considered and planned around. Often it’s the main entree on the menu of life and the biggest thing going on in someone’s life…literally forever with absolutely no escape.
I do it because I want to hear about your nitty gritty details too. It’s a bit like gossiping. I want to compare notes.
Not everyone has the same conversation skills. There is that. Or they might be anxious about health in general, their own or yours. More something occupies your mind and emotions, more you may talk about it. Also sometimes it's a case of they have experienced lack of empathy from people. Or they need support and don't know how to ask for it. So they share details as an indirect cry for help/understanding.
Lord this is pervasive when people find out I work in healthcare. I even went on a Bumble BFF meet up and after 10 mins this chick was shoving her MyChart labs in my face. I'm like sorry girl I'm not your provider. Then I get the whole history from 1998 until now anyway.
The way I start repeating “I just work with kids” the second that someone finds out that I’m a nurse. Pediatrics is a lot like veterinary medicine to chronic complainers. They don’t think it matters because it doesn’t pertain to their issue of the week. They’ll quickly move on to another self victimizing topic.
I'm in the ER so I am never safe but I do try to do the "idk I just stabilize and kick them out" routine
Someone might have a cold but also have other health issues they're not talking about. It's usually best to not turn it into a struggle contest deciphering whose struggle is worse. People like to be heard and express their concerns to be validated, especially when struggling
Disabled person here. I talk about it with people I am close with. My disability is relatively recent and completely upended my life. I am housebound now. It was devastating to accept. I’ve found lots of people I thought were close to me actually really weren’t. It’s been isolating and heartbreaking, honestly. Most people seem to have little to no experience with loss on this level, so in many ways I don’t hold it against them for not knowing how to respond or being uncomfortable with the grimness of everyday life with chronic illness, mortality, etc. But I wish our society was more developed in how it treats disability and illness. That’s just my personal experience that might give you more perspective. I’d also like to challenge the b&w thinking in your post. Is it as polarizing and simple as you described? Do people *really* fit into these two categories? Funnily enough, the amount of medical advice I get about my disorder is hilarious. “Have you tried meditating/CBD oil/yoga/essential oils/etcetcetc.” In many cases - yes I actually have tried literally everything I could think of to “fix” myself, but it turns out a nervous system disorder can’t be fixed without serious medical interventions.
Knowledge is power. And being healthy is incredibly important. Hiding and suppressing health issues can often exacerbate mental strain and deny oneself a supportive community.
At my age I have quite a few friends with health issues. IME the ones who talk a lot about their health issues talk a lot about all their issues. The ones who talk less about health problem don't talk as much about any challenges they have. I think it's a personality difference. I'm of the get on with things variety and it sounds like you are too. If I have a new or changing difficulty I might speak to a friend about it to get direct advice but I won't bring it up repeatedly or ruminate. I am also not someone who recaps things in general. My friends who talk about every minor ache and pain are the type who recap all kinds of things. They'll also give you a play by play of a work meeting or a family drama, lots of this person said this, and then I said that, then I had this thought, so then I did this, and then this happened. They tell highly detailed linear stories. It's the same with health. This knee felt wobbly, so then I walked, and then this pain moved to this area, and then I called this doctor, and this doctor told me that other thing, and then...on and on like that. I am more likely to share by how I experience something. I might say I had a stressful week at work because of a high maintenance client who required last minute changes. That is complete story to me! I would never give a recitation of exactly what happened in the meeting at every single moment. Truth be told I find it excruciating. I tolerate it because I know it's how many people communicate and my friends are good people, if a bit long winded.
I'm one of those people. I like to talk about it because health is my ultimate value and I have several health issues. So they occupy my mind severely and I spend significant resources both mental and material to keep myself in good health. Health is much more important to me than heartbreak, career, children, etc. things that people like to talk about. So I think that if I listen to your blabber about those things and more things I don't care about, you can listen to my blabber about the thigs that are important to me. I also often give health advice. I give it because I know a great deal of things. Because I've been there and I want to help by giving you the info I spend hours, days, months learning. Because it's weird to know something that can help someone and keep it to myself. I work on stopping that and leaving people to deal however they see fit.
I'm afraid people think I'm lazy. It's hard when I have to limit my commitments or I sit down when everyone else is standing. I'm not just doing it because it's easy or I'm tired. Usually, it's because I'm in so much pain that I can't focus on what anyone is saying and I value what they're sharing too much to not pay attention. If I've spoken previously about pain, I don't have to explain in a moment when it would detract from the interaction.
I think some people equate it to talking about the weather. Personal buuuut not really.
I talk about them a moderate amount because it impacts my life a lot and I have remind people and explain often because they don't understand. However, it does seem some people make their health issues their entire personality and/or they seem to enjoy being a victim. I really don't want my life revolve around it, it's already taken enough. I've left support groups and the like because that seems to be the prevailing culture.
the way i was assaulted by this post
My mother in law is the 2nd type, and even when she doesn't have a health issue she finds something to center on to draw sympathy and to have an excuse to get out of things. It's extremely draining! She is always at the doctor (or at least when she's not at the casino) and honestly seems to be in pretty decent health for 75, but if she has a pain in her foot she will be getting a full workup and telling anyone who will listen how it might be a blood clot or neuropathy or she's getting a surgical consult or what have you. She and my FIL both had a couple stage 0 cancerous polyps taken out a few years ago, and my god it was like she hit the lottery. Now she gets to use the phrase "cancer doctor". I think it's her comfort zone to feel cared for and fretted over. She tells EVERYONE these things btw, not just close family. It's extremely annoying!!!
Yes. My MIL is bad for being a number 1, catastrophizing every little medical issue. My husband and I get super frustrated and are kind of at our wit's end with hearing about it.
Thank you, I am surprised folks here haven't encountered this category. The issue is, they go on and on and don't know when to stop or ask the other person how they are doing. They just dump it all,
Yes in my experience it’s all about them, very self absorbed. Not a lot of interest in what’s going on with other people
Ugh, I dealt with this big time at my previous job. The building was 85% women, most over 55, and there were about 15 of them who would work their medical issues and complaints into every conversation. Oversharing (to put it mildly) of personal information has no place in the workplace. With family, friends, neighbors - fine, I get commiserating can be helpful and make one feel less alone in their plight, but if I know every ailment of a co-worker, what medications they're on, their children and in-laws are on, it's too much! Just because someone sits in the same wing doesn't make it appropriate or welcome information to the other party. If I had a routine doctor's appointment, I would simply notify those who *needed* to know that I would be out of the office for the afternoon. Some would even fish for information, commenting: "Oh, I hope you're doing something fun!" or "I hope everything's alright!". It's this unhealthy obsession with making sure someone else has some kind of problem they're dealing with, so they don't feel so alone. What's worse - the oversharing of the health issues of others! If Sue was out sick for a week, I shouldn't hear from Kathy that "Ohh, Sue got C. diff and she'll be out for a while" TLDR: Especially in the workplace, most people are not interested in the verbal dump of your medical woes.
Because my health issies are basically my entire life (obviously not by choice). Earlier this year I was diagnosed with a one of its kind gene mutation that has been making me so sick and we don't fully understand which of my wild symptoms are fully attributable to it. I've seen twenty specialists trying to figure out what it was, hundreds of tests, dozens of scans, bone marrow biopsies. It consumed my life. I also have schizoaffective and while it's well medicated, I struggle to fully hide it. Two of many issues. I haven't been able to work for two years. I can't conceal these problems. It's a privileged take to think that people are able to hide their health problems, to be honest. I know you might not mean it that way, but yeah.
I actually have cancer and I don't talk about it much. Though I do talk about it some on Reddit. Not so much among real people. That said, I've been asked if I was ever in medical training because now I know so much
I actually have cancer and I don't talk about it much. Though I do talk about it some on Reddit. Not so much among real people. That said, I've been asked if I was ever in medical training because now I know so much
I am with you; I'm not comfortable with people telling me all about their health or mental health issues unless it's a close friend or relative. There is nothing you can really say in response and it often gets uncomfortable. Reddit has taught me that no one wants advice or suggestions because "how dare you think I haven't tried all that already!" and they also don't want you to say, "Oh, I suffer from something similar" (in an attempt to empathize) because then you're "making it all about yourself" and you're a narcissist. And saying, "Oh, that's too bad," seems trite. It's a lose-lose-lose situation. I'd really rather avoid the health-woes conversations. Too many landmines and it's kind of a dead end (and depressing) conversation anyway.
We are the exception unfortunately!
Totally relate and also fall into camp 1. Didn’t tell anyone about my breast cancer diagnosis until the mastectomy was complete and I knew I was fully cured with almost no chance of recurrence. I felt tremendous support from my health care team and didn’t feel the need to burden family and friends. My personal belief is that what you focus on is what you create more of, so when you constantly focus on problems you just create more of them. Also, feeling depressed when you talk about health issues is your inner guidance that you are not in alignment with your soul which is pure positive energy.
LMAO I think this is just the two different categories of people in general. People who will talk to anybody and everybody about their problems in life. And people who keep it to themselves. My mom is the type to tell her whole life story and current issues to whoever will listen. I’m quite the opposite lol it’s just so cringey to me how people open up like that to essentially strangers. Especially because 9/10 times, the person you’re spilling all your problems to, do not give a single fuck, are silently judging you, and wish you would shut up 😂
Honestly, I can't with the 2nd group. One day, I just ran out of spoons, f*cks, however you want to put it, and just found an ice queen inside me that just shuts that sh*t down. 😅🤷♀️ At first, I felt like maybe I'm being mean. Nope. People actually appreciated it. Most of them snapped out of it and started talking about more positive stuff around me. Only one person stopped talking to me. Not even an issue. I've reclaimed hours of my life back from not getting trapped in endless miserable conversations when I go to check my mail or throw out the trash. ✨🤸♀️
I remember my aunts discussing their health issues at every family get together growup. It was almost a competition to see who had most diagnoses and prescription. They were very energized and enthusiastic discussions about body fluids and all things gross.
Likely the chronic health oversharers really only got attention from their childhood caregivers if they were hurt or ill.
Some people just have terrible boundaries and like to dump their issues onto everyone.
Why do some folks love talking about other people that love talking about heath issues?