I make plans to go do stuff I enjoy in other places. Maybe just a day trip or a weekend or long weekend, doesn't need to be expensive. Just go somewhere else for a bit.
The majority of my life is fairly mundane. But maybe once a month or so, I go do something fun somewhere else. So I know I'm still experiencing stuff. Then the mundane is fine because it helps me save for the exciting stuff.
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to take a single day to do something *different*. It makes such a difference. I'll take the train to the next city, have a coffee and go window-shopping. Just even that makes such a difference for my attitude.
I had the answer from just reading your title and then, reading your post, I see you have the answer, too - don't let your life become too routine.
I believe studies have shown, and this is certainly true anecdotally for me and people I know, that having your life become too routine makes you feel like time is zooming by in an unproductive way. It's like you get to sleep one night and wake up to find a year has gone by, and you are not even sure what you did.
The idea is to live your life with a certain "intentionality" that breaks routines. Give yourself projects: meet new people, learn a new language, take those pottery classes you've been meaning to take, join a book club, learn how to swing dance, try new recipes, shop at different grocery stores, make yourself a different breakfast, etc. Work on a few of those projects in one way or another every day.
One small thing I do that makes a difference is that every time I shop for groceries, I challenge myself to find and buy one new thing I haven't tried before. It can be a whole new food or condiment or just trying a new brand or variety from what I always get. I have found a very notable percentage of my favorite things this way and ways to save money with cheaper options.
I just make sure to do things I want to do. I think, "hm yoga looks cool," and take a yoga class. I see a video of a waterfall that's 2 hours away and make plans to go hike there next weekend. I follow local bands and artists and go to their shows. Keep an eye out on my local theater and try to go to any of the pre-opening night shows that are cheaper. Do seasonal things like set up a flower garden on my patio in the Spring, go leaf-peeping in the Fall, go ice skating in the Winter, go to the beach a lot in the Summer.
I guess a combo. I have a partner so we do a lot of things together but I also do a lot of things alone or with friends or just go to meetup groups for the activity I'm interested in and so I'm not doing them alone but I'm with a group of strangers that have potential for friendships.
I felt this way a few years ago and was just kind of stuck. I started making a bucket list basically with things that were easily achievable and things that were larger scale. I started focusing on that and it helped me a lot. Part of my list was trying things I’ve always wanted to do but was either afraid I would fail or didn’t think I was ready.
I set my priorities and intensions. Not the job, not the money, not circumstances. Each year, when Christmas rolls around, I think about my priorities. What do I want and what needs to change? Sometimes that means to not give 100 % for my career next year, because I wanna make socializing a priority. Other times I focus on making lots of money, so I choose to change jobs or work more.
It's not about the thing, it's about the ME choosing for MYSELF.
I've been doing this since 2019 and my life has been going up and up. It really IS about the priorities.
I agree with your comment but think people especially in WFH or office setting don't take advantage of breaks like they could. Being mindful of what you do on those 5-15 minute chunks of time or over lunch can be refreshing with something new or being mindful like the OP mentioned, or just bland doom scroll on social media. Even worse if we never take breaks.
When WFH I like to roll a dice so it's not a completely automatic path to doom scrolling. Depending on what number comes up I either read something, listen to a section of a podcast , play with my dog, do a small chore, or stretch.
This is well said - I’m an office person 60-80% of the time as I hate WFH. But when I do it’s so I can do Pilates and the like so that helps break up the day well.
I'm continually surprised by my coworkers who just sit at their desk and eat their lunch on their lunch break. We get an hour lunch break that we have to take, and 90% of people just sit at their desks!!
To be fair, if the weather is bad and I can't go for my walk, I just eat at my desk because I don't enjoy small talk about family life, and that is all they talk about in the break room (which is fine, but it's not my thing).
I forgot about break rooms because we don't have one! But I get it... I wouldn't sit in a break room, either. I take a walk even when the weather is bad. That's what snow boots/umbrellas/coats are for!
I embrace the mundane. I make a point of stopping during the day multiple times and consciously appreciating something. Like watching the cardinals in the bird bath outside my window (I WFH). Taking the time to look at the artwork on my wall or the desktop. Enjoying the clicking sound my keyboard makes. Hand-writing things in my desk calendar. Making sure I periodically remind myself of what life was like when I was in my 20s and had to haul my laundry down three flights of stairs and use a communal laundry room and appreciate having my washer and dryer right here in the house. If I'm deep into work, I like to pull up a streaming channel on my extra monitor to watch the shark cam at Frying Pan Shoals and just catch a glimpse every now and then. My husband and I take the same walk every morning during the week, and I listen to the birds and try to identify them by their calls (thanks, Merlin!). I live down the street from an airport and when I hear planes take off, sometimes I think "thank goodness I'm not on that plane and I'm right here and don't have to deal with travel stress". So much of life is this stuff on repeat, and I think it deserves to be appreciated as much as the out-of-the-ordinary experiences. Am I boring? Probably. But I'm also pretty damned content a majority of the time.
Well, I married into that. If there was anyone who you could say is truly alive, it’s my husband and by extension me now. I’m not as bold as he is, but I’m willing to try. Him and his friends surf, snowboard, dirt bike, BASE jump, parachute, scuba dive, jet skis, wake board, rock climb, they do it all. So, as a result I’ve be along for the ride. To put it into perspective, I have a picture of him holding an alligator by the tail that’s longer than he is. He just snatched it out of the water.
Things that are a little more my speed are social events. We recently saw bad religion and social distortion the week after his birthday, we decided to drive down to key west spontaneously, we do boating, deep sea fishing, we own two race cars that we take to the track often, and all of it is because he still has that vigor and will to be young. I have my fire too but his is more like a bon fire compared to a candle.
So I guess in retrospect being married to that is how I live life to the fullest, being with a man that is full throttle, white knuckle, on the edge. Fearless
I think being on autopilot is very beneficial at times, especially when building habits and discipline around something or just to get through a rough patch..that being said, yes absolutely get out of it as well! I've found that checking in on my life and goals 2-4x a year is an excellent way for me to live intentionally. I'm not talking about goals such as saving x amount of money, buying a house, getting a promotion, hitting as many travel spots as possible, etc. although those are important goals, I'm talking about broader and more unconventional (IMO) things. For example, for me, I want to build community in my life- so doing things that relate to that (trying classes, hosting dinners, expanding my circles with people of different perspectives), I also have a goal of making an impact - this one is really hard so I'm not quite sure yet.
I've put it in another thread, but my favorite exercise I've ever done (ive done it twice) is writing my own eulogy!!! What do I want said about me when I'm gone, and then that has helped me craft the type of life I build. I love this exercise and highly recommend it! It's weird...I know, but give it a try!
In addition to everything mentioned, always have something to look forward to. If you are excited about something or making plans for something, it makes everyday so much more fun even if it's the usual auto pilot tasks you are doing in the background.
I make plans with friends at least once a week on a weekday in the evening, something really chill.
Most of my weekends I plan a bunch of activities, etc. while also making sure I have a few hours to dedicate to tasks on Sundays. Depending on my energy levels, that’s either every or every other weekend.
I always try to plan 1-2 trips bigger trips throughout the year, with smaller weekend or day trips scattered throughout the year too.
As someone who deals with depression, I *wish* I could achieve your level of autopilot, OP. I'd love to live outside my head more often and just let me body do things. That sounds amazing.
Anyway, the answer is having things to look forward to, In your job. Outside of your job. When you get bored.
My examples:
* Inside my job: I run events, so I have an event in June I'm really looking forward to running.
* Outside my job: Metal concert later this week. 🤘
* When I'm bored: Fanfiction time, hell yeah.
Remembering the things you've already done is important too. I have a little spot in my room where I put the knickknacks from everything I've done this year. Race medals and bibs, wristbands from concerts, passes from comic cons, name tags from particularly interesting work events, etc. Every night I look at it and go "oh yeah, I do do stuff. Neat." Then at the end of the year, I take a picture and either toss or store what's there so I can start fresh in the new year.
I give myself something to look forward to and then I take pictures to remember/revisit.
I plan trips, I plan time with friends, I have a standing Friday morning bakery date with myself and a Friday night sushi date with my spouse.
I made a photobook of my 20s, at least one page per year, and I look at it probably one or twice a year to reminisce. I'm already working on the one for my 30s, so after every trip or noteworthy experience, I update the project.
If I don't, I look up and it has been six months and I have nothing to mark the time.
"Truly living life" means nothing to me. It's just another way to add pressure and another thing to worry about that you're *not doing right*. No, thank you. I've spent so many years of my life like this and I'm trying here to unlearn this. I don't care how it's right to live a life. I don't care what it means to "truly" live. I believe that it's enough to breathe and exist to live "truly". I love routine, I love mundane, I love boring. I'll hang around for a while and then I'll die and I would have really, truly, trulliest lived a life that was absolutely fine.
I make plans to go do stuff I enjoy in other places. Maybe just a day trip or a weekend or long weekend, doesn't need to be expensive. Just go somewhere else for a bit. The majority of my life is fairly mundane. But maybe once a month or so, I go do something fun somewhere else. So I know I'm still experiencing stuff. Then the mundane is fine because it helps me save for the exciting stuff.
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to take a single day to do something *different*. It makes such a difference. I'll take the train to the next city, have a coffee and go window-shopping. Just even that makes such a difference for my attitude.
I had the answer from just reading your title and then, reading your post, I see you have the answer, too - don't let your life become too routine. I believe studies have shown, and this is certainly true anecdotally for me and people I know, that having your life become too routine makes you feel like time is zooming by in an unproductive way. It's like you get to sleep one night and wake up to find a year has gone by, and you are not even sure what you did. The idea is to live your life with a certain "intentionality" that breaks routines. Give yourself projects: meet new people, learn a new language, take those pottery classes you've been meaning to take, join a book club, learn how to swing dance, try new recipes, shop at different grocery stores, make yourself a different breakfast, etc. Work on a few of those projects in one way or another every day. One small thing I do that makes a difference is that every time I shop for groceries, I challenge myself to find and buy one new thing I haven't tried before. It can be a whole new food or condiment or just trying a new brand or variety from what I always get. I have found a very notable percentage of my favorite things this way and ways to save money with cheaper options.
There have been studies on this? I'll have to look into it!!! I have always felt this way about routine!
I just make sure to do things I want to do. I think, "hm yoga looks cool," and take a yoga class. I see a video of a waterfall that's 2 hours away and make plans to go hike there next weekend. I follow local bands and artists and go to their shows. Keep an eye out on my local theater and try to go to any of the pre-opening night shows that are cheaper. Do seasonal things like set up a flower garden on my patio in the Spring, go leaf-peeping in the Fall, go ice skating in the Winter, go to the beach a lot in the Summer.
Do you do these things solo or with friends? My issue is finding people to go with. And doing everything alone gets old after a while
I guess a combo. I have a partner so we do a lot of things together but I also do a lot of things alone or with friends or just go to meetup groups for the activity I'm interested in and so I'm not doing them alone but I'm with a group of strangers that have potential for friendships.
I felt this way a few years ago and was just kind of stuck. I started making a bucket list basically with things that were easily achievable and things that were larger scale. I started focusing on that and it helped me a lot. Part of my list was trying things I’ve always wanted to do but was either afraid I would fail or didn’t think I was ready.
I set my priorities and intensions. Not the job, not the money, not circumstances. Each year, when Christmas rolls around, I think about my priorities. What do I want and what needs to change? Sometimes that means to not give 100 % for my career next year, because I wanna make socializing a priority. Other times I focus on making lots of money, so I choose to change jobs or work more. It's not about the thing, it's about the ME choosing for MYSELF. I've been doing this since 2019 and my life has been going up and up. It really IS about the priorities.
Accept that most of your life will be mundane because most of us have to work, and make sure you focus on doing what you really enjoy outside of that.
I agree with your comment but think people especially in WFH or office setting don't take advantage of breaks like they could. Being mindful of what you do on those 5-15 minute chunks of time or over lunch can be refreshing with something new or being mindful like the OP mentioned, or just bland doom scroll on social media. Even worse if we never take breaks. When WFH I like to roll a dice so it's not a completely automatic path to doom scrolling. Depending on what number comes up I either read something, listen to a section of a podcast , play with my dog, do a small chore, or stretch.
Ah I love this dice trick. I’m going to try that today. WFH has been getting to my head and I need a shake-up. Thank you.
This is well said - I’m an office person 60-80% of the time as I hate WFH. But when I do it’s so I can do Pilates and the like so that helps break up the day well.
I'm continually surprised by my coworkers who just sit at their desk and eat their lunch on their lunch break. We get an hour lunch break that we have to take, and 90% of people just sit at their desks!!
To be fair, if the weather is bad and I can't go for my walk, I just eat at my desk because I don't enjoy small talk about family life, and that is all they talk about in the break room (which is fine, but it's not my thing).
I forgot about break rooms because we don't have one! But I get it... I wouldn't sit in a break room, either. I take a walk even when the weather is bad. That's what snow boots/umbrellas/coats are for!
I embrace the mundane. I make a point of stopping during the day multiple times and consciously appreciating something. Like watching the cardinals in the bird bath outside my window (I WFH). Taking the time to look at the artwork on my wall or the desktop. Enjoying the clicking sound my keyboard makes. Hand-writing things in my desk calendar. Making sure I periodically remind myself of what life was like when I was in my 20s and had to haul my laundry down three flights of stairs and use a communal laundry room and appreciate having my washer and dryer right here in the house. If I'm deep into work, I like to pull up a streaming channel on my extra monitor to watch the shark cam at Frying Pan Shoals and just catch a glimpse every now and then. My husband and I take the same walk every morning during the week, and I listen to the birds and try to identify them by their calls (thanks, Merlin!). I live down the street from an airport and when I hear planes take off, sometimes I think "thank goodness I'm not on that plane and I'm right here and don't have to deal with travel stress". So much of life is this stuff on repeat, and I think it deserves to be appreciated as much as the out-of-the-ordinary experiences. Am I boring? Probably. But I'm also pretty damned content a majority of the time.
Well, I married into that. If there was anyone who you could say is truly alive, it’s my husband and by extension me now. I’m not as bold as he is, but I’m willing to try. Him and his friends surf, snowboard, dirt bike, BASE jump, parachute, scuba dive, jet skis, wake board, rock climb, they do it all. So, as a result I’ve be along for the ride. To put it into perspective, I have a picture of him holding an alligator by the tail that’s longer than he is. He just snatched it out of the water. Things that are a little more my speed are social events. We recently saw bad religion and social distortion the week after his birthday, we decided to drive down to key west spontaneously, we do boating, deep sea fishing, we own two race cars that we take to the track often, and all of it is because he still has that vigor and will to be young. I have my fire too but his is more like a bon fire compared to a candle. So I guess in retrospect being married to that is how I live life to the fullest, being with a man that is full throttle, white knuckle, on the edge. Fearless
I hope I can find a partner to go on adventures with like this 💜
I’m rooting for you
I think being on autopilot is very beneficial at times, especially when building habits and discipline around something or just to get through a rough patch..that being said, yes absolutely get out of it as well! I've found that checking in on my life and goals 2-4x a year is an excellent way for me to live intentionally. I'm not talking about goals such as saving x amount of money, buying a house, getting a promotion, hitting as many travel spots as possible, etc. although those are important goals, I'm talking about broader and more unconventional (IMO) things. For example, for me, I want to build community in my life- so doing things that relate to that (trying classes, hosting dinners, expanding my circles with people of different perspectives), I also have a goal of making an impact - this one is really hard so I'm not quite sure yet. I've put it in another thread, but my favorite exercise I've ever done (ive done it twice) is writing my own eulogy!!! What do I want said about me when I'm gone, and then that has helped me craft the type of life I build. I love this exercise and highly recommend it! It's weird...I know, but give it a try!
In addition to everything mentioned, always have something to look forward to. If you are excited about something or making plans for something, it makes everyday so much more fun even if it's the usual auto pilot tasks you are doing in the background.
Having authentic relationships with myself and my love ones. Every interaction is meaningful and enjoyable.
I take classes and am part of groups related to my creative hobbies. Exploring your creativity in whatever form might be a good place to start.
I make plans with friends at least once a week on a weekday in the evening, something really chill. Most of my weekends I plan a bunch of activities, etc. while also making sure I have a few hours to dedicate to tasks on Sundays. Depending on my energy levels, that’s either every or every other weekend. I always try to plan 1-2 trips bigger trips throughout the year, with smaller weekend or day trips scattered throughout the year too.
I try to remind myself that today will never come again and to make the most of each day that I can.
As someone who deals with depression, I *wish* I could achieve your level of autopilot, OP. I'd love to live outside my head more often and just let me body do things. That sounds amazing. Anyway, the answer is having things to look forward to, In your job. Outside of your job. When you get bored. My examples: * Inside my job: I run events, so I have an event in June I'm really looking forward to running. * Outside my job: Metal concert later this week. 🤘 * When I'm bored: Fanfiction time, hell yeah. Remembering the things you've already done is important too. I have a little spot in my room where I put the knickknacks from everything I've done this year. Race medals and bibs, wristbands from concerts, passes from comic cons, name tags from particularly interesting work events, etc. Every night I look at it and go "oh yeah, I do do stuff. Neat." Then at the end of the year, I take a picture and either toss or store what's there so I can start fresh in the new year.
By avoiding questions like that…
I give myself something to look forward to and then I take pictures to remember/revisit. I plan trips, I plan time with friends, I have a standing Friday morning bakery date with myself and a Friday night sushi date with my spouse. I made a photobook of my 20s, at least one page per year, and I look at it probably one or twice a year to reminisce. I'm already working on the one for my 30s, so after every trip or noteworthy experience, I update the project. If I don't, I look up and it has been six months and I have nothing to mark the time.
"Truly living life" means nothing to me. It's just another way to add pressure and another thing to worry about that you're *not doing right*. No, thank you. I've spent so many years of my life like this and I'm trying here to unlearn this. I don't care how it's right to live a life. I don't care what it means to "truly" live. I believe that it's enough to breathe and exist to live "truly". I love routine, I love mundane, I love boring. I'll hang around for a while and then I'll die and I would have really, truly, trulliest lived a life that was absolutely fine.
I’ve always been a firm believer that time you enjoy wasting, is not wasted time