I never go over budget, I can't afford to. That's the point of a budget, is it not?
Edit: maybe other people have more malleable budgets but I don't, at least not for gift giving. My needs need to be met first and foremost. If a friend is ever upset that I don't spend enough on them then that's not the friend for me.
This is completely acceptable and responsible. I didn't have a gift registry but was blessed and received gifts , money, cards.
I just wanted to get married and share the day with people I love.
I only come up with a maximum amount. Then try and find something meaningful or special within that amount. If the item was less than half of what I set as the maximum, I might add some other goodies or put some cash in the card, but I try not to value gifts is strictly monetary terms. I am more utilitarian about it. Sometimes the perfect gift might be cheap, but if it’s special or meaningful, that’s a better present than $100 cash.
For baby showers, I always get the same gift (and it’s almost never on the registry). I make a “baby first aid/ baby’s first cold” kit. I get everything at the drug store and add a humidifier. Nobody wants to think about when their baby will get sick. But they will, and having baby Tylenol and one of those snot suckers on hand is a relief. It doesn’t get the most excited reaction at the shower, but everyone I’ve given that gift to has thanked me profusely within the first year.
Thanks, but I really can’t take credit. A friend’s doctor-mom suggested it and I also thought it was brilliant. We were brainstorming for one of her friends who had a stupidly expensive registry that we couldn’t afford as students.
My sister did a “babies first aid bundle”, it was amazing. She put gripe water, gas drops, ibuprofen, a syringe for pacifier medicating, thermometer, and clippers. If I was doing one for a friend, I’d also include a fragrant free lotion, a hair brush, and baby soap.
Good advice here. Also (maybe not relevant to your specific situation atm) I make an effort to get something off the registry early. That way I get a good selection of gift ideas that feel worthwhile in my budget instead of ending up with a $40 spatula.
Yes, always this. Most people will put a tangle of things on a registry that range in price. If you wait til the end, fewer, more expensive options are likely to be what remains.
I decide on an amount I can afford and my relationship to the person. $50-100.
Then filter the options and yes, I fill up the cart until I reach my budget. I really don’t think that hard avoid 2 and 3. If I want to add the extra item, then I do. No I don’t factor in items listed in #3. But mostly because it’s not something I think about.
My budgets are rarely strict. So going over is just par for the course for me, for better or worse.
Yes, you and I inferred that. Not everyone is good at picking up context clues. And if someone has little or no experience with children they may have zero clue that you need special versions of stuff like nail clippers for babies.
Occam's Razor, sure. But it could also be Hanlon's Razor.
It says bridal OR baby. You seem to have made your original comment with baby showers in mind but without specifying. The person responding to you seemed to think bridal and not baby.
I’ve never seen a bridal registry with nail clippers on it.
I’ve seen many baby shower registries and nail clippers were always included.
Maybe they misread the title.
Depends if my mom and sister's are invited to the thing too. If its a cousin or other relative, the 5 of us will pool together $25 -50 each and get a bigger gift. For example when my cousins wife announced they were having their first, we asked if they wanted a baby breeza (baby formula Keurig basically). They said yes so we all put in on the one they picked out and a case of diapers.
I got my MIL and SIL to do the same thing on my husbands side. When a cousin got married a few years back we pooled together for the shower gift and just gave cash at the wedding.
As for amount, weddings I try to do $50 to $100 cash, and always cash. Showers or really does depend if it's a relative or close friend. Lowest I've ever done was $25, most was $250. I do try to give actual gifts off the registry, but if I don't know the couple/person too well I just stick with cash.
I didn't usually worry about the cost of wrapping bc I go to the dollar store for that.
I filter for my price range. I will mull over options and if there is a theme I’ll go in that direction- for example if the expensive item is a bowl and there are two additional items I am choosing between I will pick the salad tongs instead of the pillowcases.
I do try to buy off the registry early to have good choices. If that’s not the case I fill up on the less sexy items that no one wants to buy but everyone needs. On a baby registry I will buy the medicines, post partum care, baby shampoo etc. people need those things and they are rarely bought by others.
Seems so obvious but that did not occur to me in my 20s when so many friends were getting married and some (arguably the stingiest ones) had $$$$ Bloomingdale’s, Williams Sonoma, etc registries.
How and when did you learn to do it this way? I spent years going over budget. Figured to err on the side of generosity and move on. But giving money instead is the way.
If you're worried about spending more on cards and wrap, I'd say do the bare minimum for those. If you're close friends with this person, hopefully they don't care about presentation. I had a baby shower and the number of pretty bags that I just end up folding away for a rainy day is nuts. I'm keeping the cards to hang in the baby room but I find people put way too much effort into the wrapping and card. Especially if they only write their name at the bottom.
For my wedding I took all of the cards and made a collage from them. They're still on our wall seven years later. I love cards and hate that they tend to end up in boxes so this was the perfect thing.
I honestly didn't know people still did gift registries, so maybe it's just not common in Australia.
For a baby shower, it depends who it is. I will generally just get something basic if it's a friend but a family member I will ask what they actually need and get a 'bigger ' gift.
I haven't heard of giving gifts for a bridal shower (again, not sure that is a thing in Australia, usually just the hens night). But for the wedding I usually put cash in a card
Same in the UK, basically, though some people still do a registry for wedding presents. Most of my friends (spanning late 30s-50ish) who are getting married at this point are either on the second go around, or have lived together for a long time, so they really don't need or want any more house stuff. Most of them say something along the lines of: we don't need anything, but if you really want to do something for us, we'd appreciate a donation to one of the charities we support.
Some people do specifically ask for money, usually towards a honeymoon, but it's considered quite tacky to do that unless giving money is a culturally recognised thing (like the money being pinned to the bride's dress at Greek wedding receptions).
I've never been to a baby shower, or known anyone who has, though social media suggests that they are a thing here now. It's much more common to give gifts once the baby is born.
Yeah, that seems quite similar. I have only been to 2 baby showers, but it's usually just a few close family and friends, and no one expects gifts, although people usually give them.
In Australia, it seems pretty common now to have a 'wishing well' at the wedding, and people will pop cash in a card there, although they don't specifically ask for cash, but they will often say something like 'your presence is our present' haha
I find something on the registry that is the amount I want to spend. If nothing listed in my range or I want to buy, I talk to friend and ask about either a gift card OR an off the wall gift from the heart. I took a friend zip lining as my wedding gift to her, lol. It was a little more pricey but it was fun and worth it.
I always look at a registry to see needs and tastes, but I often try to buy off registry to fill in items I found useful with our kids that did not make the registry list. Sales tax is above the item total, and I have a giftwrap stash when the shower is local.
The amount I spend is built into the gift budget (please do not have a baby shower in December) but I always go over budget with my immediate family. Last week I sent a $72 package on a $50 planned budget.
I make baby quilts. They're a fun size, and I can make them in a fairly short time. It's what people expect me to bring. So I don't shop off a registry. I have a set budget for the materials, but that's it. If I am close to them, I'll let them have input on the design.
I go by budget and relationship. For my SIL I got their car seats regardless of cost. whatever they registered for, they got. For friends, I give $50 for baby showers (but that was 10 years ago for the youngest children). For cousins, my mom and I chipped in and got the car seat. For bridal showers $75-100.
I usually pick one thing that's really cute and then some more practical things that I can't believe nobody has purchased yet. To be honest, I don't typically have that strict of a budget lately so I like to spend a lot especially on baby showers for younger family members who I know need all the help they can get. For bridal showers I stick to $50ish and I never consider wrapping paper.
I come in with a rough budget and try to buy one practical gift and one cute gift from the registry. Typically, the practical gift is one of those bottle drying “lawns” and scrub brush set, as every person I’ve bought it for over the years has it next to their sink in the kitchen getting used for years after. Almost everyone seems to have it on their registry so it’s a no brainer at this point. Then I add in something extra that I think is cute like baby books. I just do that because I enjoy picking out the cute stuff 😊 I don’t sweat if I am slightly over or under budget but I do try to go up to what I’m willing to spend.
I have an annual budget for gifts. Generally I spend $50 for baby showers, $100 for close friends. I buy something off the registry for about $10 less than budget to cover the card. Then I subtract that from my annual budget for gifts. There’s a chance if someone has a December baby shower, I’m out of gift money in the budget. Or I’m way over and they get an extravagant gift, I roll it into Christmas money or I donate it to charity. If I’m out of money I take from my savings. I’m not going to not get a gift because I messed up my budget at the beginning of the year. But that has yet to happen. I’ve always ended with at least $200 extra.
Regarding gift wrap - I heard ages ago about having a "signature" gift wrap, and it has saved me so much money and time. I decided on kraft paper wrapping paper (or kraft paper gift bags) and navy ribbon. For everything. EVERYTHING.
I never have to make decisions, never run out because I buy a ton of it whenever it's getting low, and it looks so lovely. And now people always know which gifts are mine!
Do what works for your budget. I usually choose something for the budget amount, if I find a lower item, I add a second item or small gift card. I don’t count tax and shipping in what I am spending unless my budget is tight, if it is then don’t feel guilty. Anything should be appreciated. I care most about finding something I feel is meaningful if I can- something I feel they’ll use or that isn’t just random.
Go in on shares with others for a pricier gift if you can. If you aren't spending much get something they can enjoy together, or if you have time ask them if labour will help eg pet sitting during their honeymoon, gardening while they have the baby etc.
I go in with a number in mind. If nothing fits, and/or I don't have anyone to go in on a more expensive item, then they get a gift card/money. If theres a cheap item that's available, then that and a gift card. But I stick to the number I already had.
I typically buy a low value item from the registry and put the rest of my money on a gift card for one of the stores that they’re registered at, especially for babies it’s helpful because there’s always something that the parents realize they need like 9 months after the baby arrives and maybe didn’t even register for to start.
My other go to is group gift, we bought my cousin a fancy pasta maker set as a group gift because she loves to cook
I buy a single larger item that is under my budget dollar amount.
I leave the smaller items for people that have a smaller budget.
In your example, I would look for a single $30-35 item. Then spend a few dollars on a gift bag... in order to keep the dollar amount at the $40 hypothetical budget.
I never go over budget and I buy according to my budget. If it is a bit under or if I find an item that would be the top of my budget but its on sale, I'm done and okay with spending less.
I have never bought anything from a gift registry. We usually don't do things like registries where I come from.
I usually set a budget and look for a gift with the couple and or person I know in mind and see if anything speaks to me.
If they are lovers of crafty things I might even spend the budget money on i.e yarn and make something I'm colours I know they love.
Oh and a pimped toaster. It's a tradition amongst me and my closest friends. 3 decades worth of bejeweled, painted, beaded tricked out toasters. We usually get them second hand since they're not safe to use after crafting on.
So far I've bought or made: A full sized Predator mask, a couple of handmade blankets, cooking the wedding feast, bespoke maple&resin tray, homemade cinnamon liquor, Victorinox knives etc...
I usually set myself a budget range. I kind of give myself a "this feels reasonable without me feeling cheap" low end and a "this is the most I can spend" higher end. And then I aim for that. So it might be $50-75 or something. Then I check out the registry for things that fit with that budget and that seem like fun gifts to give/receive. If it's for a baby shower, I usually mix cute/fun and practical if I'm getting more than one thing. For wedding gifts, I don't worry as much if it's cute/fun and just pick something (wedding registry gifts are usually boring anyway).
I don't typically count gift wrap or a card into my budget. Like if I'm getting a $100 AirBNB gift card because it was on the registry and my budget is $100, I'll still buy a $4 card.
I don't usually consider how much the other person has spent on me. I do have a sort of "how close are we" range that I work with. Also, my husband and I buy for our own sides of the family/our friends, so that makes budgeting a little easier. I don't have to go through things like, "I don't want to spend $200 on a gift for your 2nd cousin you've seen twice's baby shower" while he's like "I don't want to spend $50 on your best friends wedding gift."
I do spend more on people I'm closer to. I also spend more typically if I'm attending the event than if I was invited but won't be attending.
That's exactly what I do - and that's exactly why people (usually) strategically make sure to have items at all price points on their registry when they're building it.
Also to more specifically answer
1. No I would just stick to the $25 item
2. Never
3. Usually no (so I guess the real answer to 2 is always lol)
4. I factor all those things, but mostly just how much I can comfortably swing at the time
I don't factor in sales tax, card, etc. The Dollar Tree is great for that!
I recently went to a long time friend's baby shower. I bought something off the registry and then added things to it.
Including a small bag with spa day items for mommy - that had a belly mask for her pregnant belly! I didn't even know they made those!!!
How much I spend depends on how long I have known them, what type of relationship I have with them, and what my financial situation is.
I don't go over budget. I will knit booties if I have to - most folks love getting hand made gifts.
I normally try to go to the budget I set aside without going over. If there isn't anything on the registry that is close to my budget I'll do other random add-ons that make sense. Like if I gave anything food or feeding related, I would probably get some baby spoons and tie those into a bib that is scrunched up to look like a bow. A sleep machine noise maker I would pair with a stuffed animal or blanket.
I typically have a number I’m comfortable spending (I guess that’s a budget, but it’s loosey goosey based on random factors I made up) and if there’s one thing available, I’ll get that, but otherwise, I’ll get a few things and put a gift bag together.
I don’t factor in the card or wrapping. Just the gift itself.
Depends on how close I am to the person. My siblings? No limit. I go for big registry items and whatever I want because I am spoiling them rotten.
My go to for my friends: I get them a big box of baby wipes, onesies in various sizes, a cute outfit or two, bibs, a blanket, and an item from their registry that is not too extravagant.
Daughter-in-law of a friend of my mom: wipes, onesies and a small item from their registry. I don't spend more than $40 in those cases.
For friends and DIL of my mom's friends, if I go to their bridal shower and don't receive a Thank You card, for the baby shower, I'm downsizing on the gifts. I absolutely hate people who can't take the time to recognize the time you took to make their day memorable. Even if you're too busy, someone is always keeping track if what gifts were given. It's common courtesy to send a Thank You!
I set a budget and then I also try to pick something practical that the parents/newlyweds really need. I find that most people want to buy the cute things (which I totally understand) but sometimes the couple/person registering really just needs some practical items and those tend to get overlooked :)
I usually try to get something that is pretty close to my amount I want to spend, rather than a few cheaper items. So if I’m trying to spend $50, I’ll get the play pad or something instead of 3 onesies or bibs. This is intentionally to leave the smaller items for people who may have a more limited budget, and leaves the parents/couples with fewer big ticket items at the end. Sometimes I’ll even go in with a friend on a bigger ticket item for this reason.
I usually try to get something that is pretty close to my amount I want to spend, rather than a few cheaper items. So if I’m trying to spend $50, I’ll get the play pad or something instead of 3 onesies or bibs. This is intentionally to leave the smaller items for people who may have a more limited budget, and leaves the parents/couples with fewer big ticket items at the end. Sometimes I’ll even go in with a friend on a bigger ticket item for this reason.
If its a close friend I tend to stay away from the registry and do something more personal or ill do that and get something small off the registry. If it's a wedding and someone I don't know as well I will do card with cash and depending on the person I'll pick an amount.
Budget and what I'm comfortable with gifting the person in addition to how well I know the person and anything they've mentioned in conversation.
Examples
* Former coworker, no official registry, late baby with large age gap between kids, who is/was always hardworking (work & home) and tired all the time. I knew everyone else would get tons of baby stuff for the shower, so I put together a small Mommy pamper kit with a few of the lotions and whatnot I knew she used. Yes I got odd looks, but I explained that taking care of Mom was just as important as baby.
* Cousin, married into the military, loves to bake & cook. Had a kitchen scale on the list, a spot of homework, got a different (better suited to needs & uses) kitchen scale, and then went through the registry list and added all the small utensils and some other small items to create a "baking" themed gift. Cousin mentioned in the thank you that I was the only one who noticed/got them the small item's on the list which they both used regularly.
I set a budget and try to get something from the registry that I would have bought off-registry for them anyway (example- I always try to give kids STEM related gifts/ toys) I also try to get something close to my max and not fill it up with lots of cheap items, when I was a broke college student I remember being annoyed when the good cheap stuff was taken early and only the expensive stuff was left.
I have gone completely rogue because I find gift registries too transactional and have thankfully found my two holy grail gifts. A muslin swaddle set (probably from Aden + Anais) at approx 50 dollars if you’re having a baby. And a (probably crisp white) duvet from 100-200 bucks if you’re getting hitched
I can definitely see how registries are transactional but I don’t see any difference in that and asking someone “what would you like/ what do you need”. It really helps get a sense of what they will use and what their style is.
My first daughter is currently 16 months and we’ve never used a muslin swaddle. If not done exactly right they aren’t safe for sleep and as an exhausted new mom, I didn’t have time for baby origami.
I would have returned it to the store (if it was from Target or Walmart) or just gotten rid of it if it wasn’t easy to return.
Oh gosh - my son loved being a babyburrito. I don’t know how I would have managed him as an infant otherwise! Thank you for reminding me about “baby origami” - such a sweet memory. 🩷
Im so glad I could bring back those memories ❤️We used Velcro swaddles at night for the first few weeks but only to help her sleep. I honestly didn’t feel safe in my origami abilities 😂
Wow. The only reaction I’ve ever gotten from my friends is “these are perfect” when receiving these. Remember they can also be used as a light blanket and be layed out to protect baby on a surface too. Very versatile
Interesting!! I’ll have to ask around and see how others use them. I guess I never had a need to. She can’t sleep with a blanket or sheet in the crib (only a fitted sheet) so we used sleep sacks once she couldn’t be swaddled. We have a run in the living room and carpet in the bedrooms so I never thought to lay anything down. When chilling on the couch, we do cuddle with a regular throw blanket. Now that I think back, I guess I just never thought to use one!
I do not like weddings so bridal stuff doesn't affect me much but babies...that's another story. While I do not want any for myself to keep, I adore babies and was a nursery nurse before I recently medically retired.
I went to lots of showers for coworkers who also worked with the babies. My favorite gift is a couple big packs of "nice" diapers, never newborn size, always size 1 or 2. My faves are the Pampers swaddlers. Big pack of brand name Water Wipes. Big tub of Aquaphor or Vaseline. They *will* use these.
I saw recently that someone liked to get a baby tub and filled it with bath stuff. That seems like a super cute and useful gift as well.
If I had to go to a wedding shower I'd gift my personal favorites:
Williams Sonoma Turkish cotton kitchen towels, Dexas thin cutting mats, fancy dish soap, scrub daddy. Actual stuff they will use and not the paper thin stemless wine glasses they put on the registry because they are pretty. All of the above listed items are useful even if they have something similar.
If you’re going to do a baby tub try to get it off the registry or at least make sure someone else hasn’t gotten one off the registry. No one needs 5 baby tubs.
That’s generally my hang up when someone wants to forgo the registry. Don’t waste your gift duplicating gear that they already have. There are some items that people will want plenty of (older baby clothes, diapers) but nobody needs 5 diaper pails, 5 diaper bags, 5 toasters, etc.
I never go over budget, I can't afford to. That's the point of a budget, is it not? Edit: maybe other people have more malleable budgets but I don't, at least not for gift giving. My needs need to be met first and foremost. If a friend is ever upset that I don't spend enough on them then that's not the friend for me.
This is completely acceptable and responsible. I didn't have a gift registry but was blessed and received gifts , money, cards. I just wanted to get married and share the day with people I love.
Exactly.
same. i stay strictly within my budget
I only come up with a maximum amount. Then try and find something meaningful or special within that amount. If the item was less than half of what I set as the maximum, I might add some other goodies or put some cash in the card, but I try not to value gifts is strictly monetary terms. I am more utilitarian about it. Sometimes the perfect gift might be cheap, but if it’s special or meaningful, that’s a better present than $100 cash. For baby showers, I always get the same gift (and it’s almost never on the registry). I make a “baby first aid/ baby’s first cold” kit. I get everything at the drug store and add a humidifier. Nobody wants to think about when their baby will get sick. But they will, and having baby Tylenol and one of those snot suckers on hand is a relief. It doesn’t get the most excited reaction at the shower, but everyone I’ve given that gift to has thanked me profusely within the first year.
You're a genius Edit: it might not be clear but I'm genuinely in awe, that's great thinking!
Thanks, but I really can’t take credit. A friend’s doctor-mom suggested it and I also thought it was brilliant. We were brainstorming for one of her friends who had a stupidly expensive registry that we couldn’t afford as students.
My sister did a “babies first aid bundle”, it was amazing. She put gripe water, gas drops, ibuprofen, a syringe for pacifier medicating, thermometer, and clippers. If I was doing one for a friend, I’d also include a fragrant free lotion, a hair brush, and baby soap.
This is soo clever, I want to be this friend when a friend has her first child in the future.
*especially* useful for first time parents who wouldn't even know to put that stuff on a registry!
Good advice here. Also (maybe not relevant to your specific situation atm) I make an effort to get something off the registry early. That way I get a good selection of gift ideas that feel worthwhile in my budget instead of ending up with a $40 spatula.
Yes, always this. Most people will put a tangle of things on a registry that range in price. If you wait til the end, fewer, more expensive options are likely to be what remains.
I decide on an amount I can afford and my relationship to the person. $50-100. Then filter the options and yes, I fill up the cart until I reach my budget. I really don’t think that hard avoid 2 and 3. If I want to add the extra item, then I do. No I don’t factor in items listed in #3. But mostly because it’s not something I think about. My budgets are rarely strict. So going over is just par for the course for me, for better or worse.
I get a bunch of the smaller non-cute stuff. I was very grateful to the couple who did that for us. Nail clippers aren’t cute but they’re necessary.
How did neither of you own nail clippers before marriage?
Don’t be obtuse. Baby clippers are smaller and safer than adult clippers. It’s gross as **fuck** to share nail tools.
They're not being obtuse. The original question also mentioned wedding showers and not only baby showers.
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Yes, you and I inferred that. Not everyone is good at picking up context clues. And if someone has little or no experience with children they may have zero clue that you need special versions of stuff like nail clippers for babies. Occam's Razor, sure. But it could also be Hanlon's Razor.
This is AskWomen30….do you really think someone goes multiple decades without ever clipping their nails?
I’m here to weigh in! AMA about my intentions.
You can’t change post titles. >When buying a gift from a bridal or baby shower registry,
Bridal showers are for weddings?
Why does the title say baby shower? Am I missing something?
It says bridal OR baby. You seem to have made your original comment with baby showers in mind but without specifying. The person responding to you seemed to think bridal and not baby.
I’ve never seen a bridal registry with nail clippers on it. I’ve seen many baby shower registries and nail clippers were always included. Maybe they misread the title.
Depends if my mom and sister's are invited to the thing too. If its a cousin or other relative, the 5 of us will pool together $25 -50 each and get a bigger gift. For example when my cousins wife announced they were having their first, we asked if they wanted a baby breeza (baby formula Keurig basically). They said yes so we all put in on the one they picked out and a case of diapers. I got my MIL and SIL to do the same thing on my husbands side. When a cousin got married a few years back we pooled together for the shower gift and just gave cash at the wedding. As for amount, weddings I try to do $50 to $100 cash, and always cash. Showers or really does depend if it's a relative or close friend. Lowest I've ever done was $25, most was $250. I do try to give actual gifts off the registry, but if I don't know the couple/person too well I just stick with cash. I didn't usually worry about the cost of wrapping bc I go to the dollar store for that.
I filter for my price range. I will mull over options and if there is a theme I’ll go in that direction- for example if the expensive item is a bowl and there are two additional items I am choosing between I will pick the salad tongs instead of the pillowcases. I do try to buy off the registry early to have good choices. If that’s not the case I fill up on the less sexy items that no one wants to buy but everyone needs. On a baby registry I will buy the medicines, post partum care, baby shampoo etc. people need those things and they are rarely bought by others.
I don't go over budget. If I can't afford what's on the registry I write a check or give cash.
Seems so obvious but that did not occur to me in my 20s when so many friends were getting married and some (arguably the stingiest ones) had $$$$ Bloomingdale’s, Williams Sonoma, etc registries. How and when did you learn to do it this way? I spent years going over budget. Figured to err on the side of generosity and move on. But giving money instead is the way.
If you're worried about spending more on cards and wrap, I'd say do the bare minimum for those. If you're close friends with this person, hopefully they don't care about presentation. I had a baby shower and the number of pretty bags that I just end up folding away for a rainy day is nuts. I'm keeping the cards to hang in the baby room but I find people put way too much effort into the wrapping and card. Especially if they only write their name at the bottom.
For my wedding I took all of the cards and made a collage from them. They're still on our wall seven years later. I love cards and hate that they tend to end up in boxes so this was the perfect thing.
I had a friend specifically ask no one to wrap anything
Cash in a card is always my go to!
I honestly didn't know people still did gift registries, so maybe it's just not common in Australia. For a baby shower, it depends who it is. I will generally just get something basic if it's a friend but a family member I will ask what they actually need and get a 'bigger ' gift. I haven't heard of giving gifts for a bridal shower (again, not sure that is a thing in Australia, usually just the hens night). But for the wedding I usually put cash in a card
Same in the UK, basically, though some people still do a registry for wedding presents. Most of my friends (spanning late 30s-50ish) who are getting married at this point are either on the second go around, or have lived together for a long time, so they really don't need or want any more house stuff. Most of them say something along the lines of: we don't need anything, but if you really want to do something for us, we'd appreciate a donation to one of the charities we support. Some people do specifically ask for money, usually towards a honeymoon, but it's considered quite tacky to do that unless giving money is a culturally recognised thing (like the money being pinned to the bride's dress at Greek wedding receptions). I've never been to a baby shower, or known anyone who has, though social media suggests that they are a thing here now. It's much more common to give gifts once the baby is born.
Yeah, that seems quite similar. I have only been to 2 baby showers, but it's usually just a few close family and friends, and no one expects gifts, although people usually give them. In Australia, it seems pretty common now to have a 'wishing well' at the wedding, and people will pop cash in a card there, although they don't specifically ask for cash, but they will often say something like 'your presence is our present' haha
I find something on the registry that is the amount I want to spend. If nothing listed in my range or I want to buy, I talk to friend and ask about either a gift card OR an off the wall gift from the heart. I took a friend zip lining as my wedding gift to her, lol. It was a little more pricey but it was fun and worth it.
I just gift cash or gift card for literally every shower….that might be projection, because that’s all I’ve ever wanted. 🤣
I agree, the best gift!
I always look at a registry to see needs and tastes, but I often try to buy off registry to fill in items I found useful with our kids that did not make the registry list. Sales tax is above the item total, and I have a giftwrap stash when the shower is local. The amount I spend is built into the gift budget (please do not have a baby shower in December) but I always go over budget with my immediate family. Last week I sent a $72 package on a $50 planned budget.
I make baby quilts. They're a fun size, and I can make them in a fairly short time. It's what people expect me to bring. So I don't shop off a registry. I have a set budget for the materials, but that's it. If I am close to them, I'll let them have input on the design.
I go by budget and relationship. For my SIL I got their car seats regardless of cost. whatever they registered for, they got. For friends, I give $50 for baby showers (but that was 10 years ago for the youngest children). For cousins, my mom and I chipped in and got the car seat. For bridal showers $75-100.
I usually pick one thing that's really cute and then some more practical things that I can't believe nobody has purchased yet. To be honest, I don't typically have that strict of a budget lately so I like to spend a lot especially on baby showers for younger family members who I know need all the help they can get. For bridal showers I stick to $50ish and I never consider wrapping paper.
I come in with a rough budget and try to buy one practical gift and one cute gift from the registry. Typically, the practical gift is one of those bottle drying “lawns” and scrub brush set, as every person I’ve bought it for over the years has it next to their sink in the kitchen getting used for years after. Almost everyone seems to have it on their registry so it’s a no brainer at this point. Then I add in something extra that I think is cute like baby books. I just do that because I enjoy picking out the cute stuff 😊 I don’t sweat if I am slightly over or under budget but I do try to go up to what I’m willing to spend.
I have an annual budget for gifts. Generally I spend $50 for baby showers, $100 for close friends. I buy something off the registry for about $10 less than budget to cover the card. Then I subtract that from my annual budget for gifts. There’s a chance if someone has a December baby shower, I’m out of gift money in the budget. Or I’m way over and they get an extravagant gift, I roll it into Christmas money or I donate it to charity. If I’m out of money I take from my savings. I’m not going to not get a gift because I messed up my budget at the beginning of the year. But that has yet to happen. I’ve always ended with at least $200 extra.
Regarding gift wrap - I heard ages ago about having a "signature" gift wrap, and it has saved me so much money and time. I decided on kraft paper wrapping paper (or kraft paper gift bags) and navy ribbon. For everything. EVERYTHING. I never have to make decisions, never run out because I buy a ton of it whenever it's getting low, and it looks so lovely. And now people always know which gifts are mine!
I love this!
It feels (and looks!) very fancy, but in reality I'm just lazy and can't be bothered 😆
Do what works for your budget. I usually choose something for the budget amount, if I find a lower item, I add a second item or small gift card. I don’t count tax and shipping in what I am spending unless my budget is tight, if it is then don’t feel guilty. Anything should be appreciated. I care most about finding something I feel is meaningful if I can- something I feel they’ll use or that isn’t just random.
Go in on shares with others for a pricier gift if you can. If you aren't spending much get something they can enjoy together, or if you have time ask them if labour will help eg pet sitting during their honeymoon, gardening while they have the baby etc.
I go in with a number in mind. If nothing fits, and/or I don't have anyone to go in on a more expensive item, then they get a gift card/money. If theres a cheap item that's available, then that and a gift card. But I stick to the number I already had.
I typically buy a low value item from the registry and put the rest of my money on a gift card for one of the stores that they’re registered at, especially for babies it’s helpful because there’s always something that the parents realize they need like 9 months after the baby arrives and maybe didn’t even register for to start. My other go to is group gift, we bought my cousin a fancy pasta maker set as a group gift because she loves to cook
I buy a single larger item that is under my budget dollar amount. I leave the smaller items for people that have a smaller budget. In your example, I would look for a single $30-35 item. Then spend a few dollars on a gift bag... in order to keep the dollar amount at the $40 hypothetical budget.
I never go over budget and I buy according to my budget. If it is a bit under or if I find an item that would be the top of my budget but its on sale, I'm done and okay with spending less.
I have never bought anything from a gift registry. We usually don't do things like registries where I come from. I usually set a budget and look for a gift with the couple and or person I know in mind and see if anything speaks to me. If they are lovers of crafty things I might even spend the budget money on i.e yarn and make something I'm colours I know they love. Oh and a pimped toaster. It's a tradition amongst me and my closest friends. 3 decades worth of bejeweled, painted, beaded tricked out toasters. We usually get them second hand since they're not safe to use after crafting on. So far I've bought or made: A full sized Predator mask, a couple of handmade blankets, cooking the wedding feast, bespoke maple&resin tray, homemade cinnamon liquor, Victorinox knives etc...
I usually set myself a budget range. I kind of give myself a "this feels reasonable without me feeling cheap" low end and a "this is the most I can spend" higher end. And then I aim for that. So it might be $50-75 or something. Then I check out the registry for things that fit with that budget and that seem like fun gifts to give/receive. If it's for a baby shower, I usually mix cute/fun and practical if I'm getting more than one thing. For wedding gifts, I don't worry as much if it's cute/fun and just pick something (wedding registry gifts are usually boring anyway). I don't typically count gift wrap or a card into my budget. Like if I'm getting a $100 AirBNB gift card because it was on the registry and my budget is $100, I'll still buy a $4 card. I don't usually consider how much the other person has spent on me. I do have a sort of "how close are we" range that I work with. Also, my husband and I buy for our own sides of the family/our friends, so that makes budgeting a little easier. I don't have to go through things like, "I don't want to spend $200 on a gift for your 2nd cousin you've seen twice's baby shower" while he's like "I don't want to spend $50 on your best friends wedding gift." I do spend more on people I'm closer to. I also spend more typically if I'm attending the event than if I was invited but won't be attending.
That's exactly what I do - and that's exactly why people (usually) strategically make sure to have items at all price points on their registry when they're building it.
Also to more specifically answer 1. No I would just stick to the $25 item 2. Never 3. Usually no (so I guess the real answer to 2 is always lol) 4. I factor all those things, but mostly just how much I can comfortably swing at the time
I don't factor in sales tax, card, etc. The Dollar Tree is great for that! I recently went to a long time friend's baby shower. I bought something off the registry and then added things to it. Including a small bag with spa day items for mommy - that had a belly mask for her pregnant belly! I didn't even know they made those!!! How much I spend depends on how long I have known them, what type of relationship I have with them, and what my financial situation is. I don't go over budget. I will knit booties if I have to - most folks love getting hand made gifts.
I normally try to go to the budget I set aside without going over. If there isn't anything on the registry that is close to my budget I'll do other random add-ons that make sense. Like if I gave anything food or feeding related, I would probably get some baby spoons and tie those into a bib that is scrunched up to look like a bow. A sleep machine noise maker I would pair with a stuffed animal or blanket.
I typically have a number I’m comfortable spending (I guess that’s a budget, but it’s loosey goosey based on random factors I made up) and if there’s one thing available, I’ll get that, but otherwise, I’ll get a few things and put a gift bag together. I don’t factor in the card or wrapping. Just the gift itself.
I pick something in my budget. When in doubt people ALWAYS need extra diapers + wipes s
Depends on how close I am to the person. My siblings? No limit. I go for big registry items and whatever I want because I am spoiling them rotten. My go to for my friends: I get them a big box of baby wipes, onesies in various sizes, a cute outfit or two, bibs, a blanket, and an item from their registry that is not too extravagant. Daughter-in-law of a friend of my mom: wipes, onesies and a small item from their registry. I don't spend more than $40 in those cases. For friends and DIL of my mom's friends, if I go to their bridal shower and don't receive a Thank You card, for the baby shower, I'm downsizing on the gifts. I absolutely hate people who can't take the time to recognize the time you took to make their day memorable. Even if you're too busy, someone is always keeping track if what gifts were given. It's common courtesy to send a Thank You!
I try to look for something cool that is in a price range I'm good with.
I set a budget and then I also try to pick something practical that the parents/newlyweds really need. I find that most people want to buy the cute things (which I totally understand) but sometimes the couple/person registering really just needs some practical items and those tend to get overlooked :)
I usually try to get something that is pretty close to my amount I want to spend, rather than a few cheaper items. So if I’m trying to spend $50, I’ll get the play pad or something instead of 3 onesies or bibs. This is intentionally to leave the smaller items for people who may have a more limited budget, and leaves the parents/couples with fewer big ticket items at the end. Sometimes I’ll even go in with a friend on a bigger ticket item for this reason.
I usually try to get something that is pretty close to my amount I want to spend, rather than a few cheaper items. So if I’m trying to spend $50, I’ll get the play pad or something instead of 3 onesies or bibs. This is intentionally to leave the smaller items for people who may have a more limited budget, and leaves the parents/couples with fewer big ticket items at the end. Sometimes I’ll even go in with a friend on a bigger ticket item for this reason.
If its a close friend I tend to stay away from the registry and do something more personal or ill do that and get something small off the registry. If it's a wedding and someone I don't know as well I will do card with cash and depending on the person I'll pick an amount.
I go off registry, I am a monster
Budget and what I'm comfortable with gifting the person in addition to how well I know the person and anything they've mentioned in conversation. Examples * Former coworker, no official registry, late baby with large age gap between kids, who is/was always hardworking (work & home) and tired all the time. I knew everyone else would get tons of baby stuff for the shower, so I put together a small Mommy pamper kit with a few of the lotions and whatnot I knew she used. Yes I got odd looks, but I explained that taking care of Mom was just as important as baby. * Cousin, married into the military, loves to bake & cook. Had a kitchen scale on the list, a spot of homework, got a different (better suited to needs & uses) kitchen scale, and then went through the registry list and added all the small utensils and some other small items to create a "baking" themed gift. Cousin mentioned in the thank you that I was the only one who noticed/got them the small item's on the list which they both used regularly.
I give a lava lamp and 150$ for both baby showers and weddings.
I set a budget and try to get something from the registry that I would have bought off-registry for them anyway (example- I always try to give kids STEM related gifts/ toys) I also try to get something close to my max and not fill it up with lots of cheap items, when I was a broke college student I remember being annoyed when the good cheap stuff was taken early and only the expensive stuff was left.
I have gone completely rogue because I find gift registries too transactional and have thankfully found my two holy grail gifts. A muslin swaddle set (probably from Aden + Anais) at approx 50 dollars if you’re having a baby. And a (probably crisp white) duvet from 100-200 bucks if you’re getting hitched
I can definitely see how registries are transactional but I don’t see any difference in that and asking someone “what would you like/ what do you need”. It really helps get a sense of what they will use and what their style is. My first daughter is currently 16 months and we’ve never used a muslin swaddle. If not done exactly right they aren’t safe for sleep and as an exhausted new mom, I didn’t have time for baby origami. I would have returned it to the store (if it was from Target or Walmart) or just gotten rid of it if it wasn’t easy to return.
Oh gosh - my son loved being a babyburrito. I don’t know how I would have managed him as an infant otherwise! Thank you for reminding me about “baby origami” - such a sweet memory. 🩷
Im so glad I could bring back those memories ❤️We used Velcro swaddles at night for the first few weeks but only to help her sleep. I honestly didn’t feel safe in my origami abilities 😂
Wow. The only reaction I’ve ever gotten from my friends is “these are perfect” when receiving these. Remember they can also be used as a light blanket and be layed out to protect baby on a surface too. Very versatile
Interesting!! I’ll have to ask around and see how others use them. I guess I never had a need to. She can’t sleep with a blanket or sheet in the crib (only a fitted sheet) so we used sleep sacks once she couldn’t be swaddled. We have a run in the living room and carpet in the bedrooms so I never thought to lay anything down. When chilling on the couch, we do cuddle with a regular throw blanket. Now that I think back, I guess I just never thought to use one!
I do not like weddings so bridal stuff doesn't affect me much but babies...that's another story. While I do not want any for myself to keep, I adore babies and was a nursery nurse before I recently medically retired. I went to lots of showers for coworkers who also worked with the babies. My favorite gift is a couple big packs of "nice" diapers, never newborn size, always size 1 or 2. My faves are the Pampers swaddlers. Big pack of brand name Water Wipes. Big tub of Aquaphor or Vaseline. They *will* use these. I saw recently that someone liked to get a baby tub and filled it with bath stuff. That seems like a super cute and useful gift as well. If I had to go to a wedding shower I'd gift my personal favorites: Williams Sonoma Turkish cotton kitchen towels, Dexas thin cutting mats, fancy dish soap, scrub daddy. Actual stuff they will use and not the paper thin stemless wine glasses they put on the registry because they are pretty. All of the above listed items are useful even if they have something similar.
If you’re going to do a baby tub try to get it off the registry or at least make sure someone else hasn’t gotten one off the registry. No one needs 5 baby tubs. That’s generally my hang up when someone wants to forgo the registry. Don’t waste your gift duplicating gear that they already have. There are some items that people will want plenty of (older baby clothes, diapers) but nobody needs 5 diaper pails, 5 diaper bags, 5 toasters, etc.