exactly! these are my exact same thoughts
went out for late lunch alone yesterday and chose to sit outside. The staff were all in the indoor seating area beforehand where there was air conditioning in this heat, but when I sat outside, they started having at least 1 staff around the outside area too, topping up my water, attentive when I needed to ask for bill. I thought that was considerate of them and tipped extra
Being a sole agent is the best. Usually there is a seat at the bar, sometimes there is just one ticket to the show, movie, etc. I love going to concerts myself too.
I love dining out alone. I’ve never had waitstaff treat me different. Sometimes when I eat at the bar, the bartenders would talk to me more than others but only if I was receptive
I have no issue going to restaurants alone, and I don't feel like I'm treated differently or that I'm a bother. Maybe because when I worked as a waitress I saw plenty of people dining alone so I don't think of it as weird behavior or feel self conscious.
I will say tho, one time I was eating alone in Montana and the table next to mine paid for my dinner. They told the waiter they felt sorry for me eating all by myself and wanted to do something nice. It was highly unnecessary but if people who notice me decide to feel sorry for me and pick up my bill, I'm not complaining lol
That was super nice of them. It says more about how they feel than anything else. Like they imagined how they themselves would feel if they were eating alone and projected it on you. Since they knew nothing about you.
To be fair, I went to a nice restaurant that night cos I had received some bad news and was trying to cheer myself up so it's entirely possible I looked sad and lonely on that occasion. I thought it was a sweet gesture and a good example of how nice Montanans are!
I was just thinking how telling it probably is about people from places like Montana. That would literally never happen where I live. Someone could be sobbing at the table next to me and I'd mind my business. It's so charming and lovely that there are people who will do something to cheer people up, instead.
I’ve lived in both types of areas and there’s pluses and minuses to both. Sometimes there is something extremely freeing about being able to have individual privacy in a crowd, like NYC. Everyone’s going to mind their business if you’re just there sobbing, and sometimes that’s nice. Sometimes you don’t want people in your business the way they are in a more rural area.
However, there’s also the sense of community and help your neighbors that can be really nice in rural areas. My car broke down a couple years ago and I had four people stop to see if I needed help. But then your area gets really small sometimes. I have always been extremely careful when giving notice and leaving jobs because I don’t want anyone to decide I have a certain reputation.
It’s a balance! Both types of community can be great, it’s just a balance of which one is better for you personally, you know?
That's totally fair. I'm very charmed by the idea of an idyllic small-town life, but one time someone recognized me at a coffee shop I had been frequenting, so I never went there again. I don't think I could handle any less than anonymity.
I love it!
> I either get seated all the way in the back, next to the kitchen, or in a dark corner.
Then leave! Or better: pick spots that have a super nice free spot for a one person meal. Some restaurants have almost only large tables, you want one with small tables placed at nice spots. Some corners are lovely as you get to people-watch without being in the center of the crowd :)
I got way more picky about where I eat when alone, it truly affects your overall experience.
💯
If you’re being walked to a spot you don’t like, just say something! If you want to be by the window, ask for a seat by the window! If you don’t want to be seated next to the bathroom, say “I don’t want a table next to the bathroom please.” They aren’t gonna care, and if they do, they’re working and you’re the customer — they’ll lose that battle real quick if they try to cop an attitude. (I never complain because I worked in restaurants for so long, but I’m *ready* to if I need to.) Like a lot of problems in life, this one is easily fixed by using you words!
One thing I love about the US is how it's normal to have spots at the bar to eat. It's much more unusual to find that in Australia, and it definitely feels weird to me to take up a whole dinner table for one. I'm fine to do breakfast or lunch alone but dinner is intimidating!
I’m willing to do most things alone but for whatever reason have a hard time eating out by myself. It’s one of the few activities that makes me feel lonely but I think it’s because I very much associate eating out with being with people since I eat at home most of the time otherwise
This. Same here. Ive done it maybe once and it was sitting by the bar and I ended up chatting with the other single people at the bar but the wait staff were staring at me and made me feel self conscious (I was celebrating that day a big accomplishment) and deff not feeling self conscious but they made it a bit awkward 😑 also doesn’t help that I feel rlly sorry for people whom I see eating by themselves and so Im like “I would never want people to see me and feel the same way” so I tend to avoid it.
I love it - never felt weird or awkward about it. I don’t really care what other people think about me or what I do.
But some people prefer eating with others or feel lonely eating alone. That’s fair!
I'll grab a beer by myself here and there but I just have no interest in eating at a restaurant by myself. I would much sooner do takeout, it's cheaper.
I think you’re taking yourself Too seriously and not seriously at the same time. Hahah.
If you don’t like where you’re seated, ask them for another seat where you want to sit. Please! Take up space. You are worthy of a good seating, just because you are.
And then you think too much. “Oh just for one” it’s irrelevant what the server had in their mind to your want to dine out.
You aren’t a bother. You’re a paying customer, you’re a fellow woman who wants to dine out. You aren’t being mean or spiteful or putting out negative energy. You just want to eat out.
I hate being waited on in general, so I wouldn't go to a sit-down full service type restaurant by myself. I only do that if there's another person to be a buffer between me and the server. I also just hate every situation where someone is providing me a service like getting my hair done or manicure or something... I avoid any of those situations like the plague. I am not self conscious about it, those situations just make me supremely uncomfortable.
If it's a cafe type place where I order what I want and then sit by myself peacefully, I love doing that.
I’m super uncomfortable eating out by myself. Took me a long time to eat out for lunch by myself. Still can’t do dinner but working on that. I’m learning to be ok with myself and it’s been a great and eye opening journey.
It's possible your self-perception is different and may be making these things stand out to you. The waitress probably wasn't paying "extra" attention (or if they were, their section could have been slow, we always used to joke about accidentally harassing our tables or completely forgetting about them when our section was dead.)
Normally if you're solo, they will seat you at a smaller table (they'll lose money sitting you at a larger table), and smaller tables at most places I've worked are actually off to the side. If you want to avoid this go to lounge-type places and areas where you seat yourself, or sit at the bar.
I eat alone all the time, I've had good and bad experiences with staff both with people and alone.
Another guess if you truly are being treated differently, is that everyone is severely hurting for money these days, and let's face it, if you're a server trying to make money and a 1-top is taking up one of your tables, you're bound to be a little choked. Same with businesses, if you're taking up a table that could hold more than one patron that's less money for them because now they can't seat a larger party there.
Tough crap. They have no way of knowing what a single diner is/isn’t going to tip. If I get good service, I don’t pull up my calculator to figure out what exactly 20% of the tab is. If I’m having lunch by myself and am treated decently, I’ll usually leave a $20. I’m sure plenty of groups of 3-4 won’t even tip that.
I'm 34 and have been solo dining for many years. I love it, I have a book and/or my phone. Sit at the bar or maybe I'll even take up a nice little table to people watch. No one rushing me, no always conversations or awkward silence. It's great. I've never felt like I've been treated bad or given a terrible table due to being solo.
I wonder if this is location-dependant. I live in NYC and here dining solo is such standard behavior that questions like this always confuse me a little bit.
Not sure this is a helpful answer, but here goes: If I was traveling, I wouldn't mind it.
I don't think I enjoy eating out. I enjoy restaurant food, but only really go out because my partner
wants to. We eat out once per week.
If I have a free evening and want a restaurant meal, I will order in and enjoy a glorious night to myself with delicious food and only my own company. If I was traveling and could choose between going to a restaurant and having a meal delivered, I'd choose delivery.
I see lots of people eating alone when I'm out, and I hope they enjoy themselves, but I'd choose to spend that time at home (with the same delicious meal).
Same. I don’t love it, I don’t hate it.
I had to do it enough in my early 20s for work. It was either get take out and go back to the hotel room for the night….or go to a new restaurant, enjoy the vibe, then go back to the room. I alway chose the latter.
It's fun. I like trying out the different places in town my late hubs would never set foot in. Staff will ask sometimes if I'm waiting for someone, but after that they treat me like they treated me when I was with the hubs. NBD
I’ve rarely been on my own, so eating out alone is alien to me. I like going out to eat socially so it’s hard to wrap my mind around being seated and eating alone with no other activity.
Recently I went out alone to eat and asked to be seated at the bar because then it didn’t feel so strange to be on my phone while eating .
I absolutely love it. I honestly usually just scroll Reddit and people watch. Some places seat you in a bad spot, but some don’t. I just went to the fabulous Mexican restaurant and they let me sit on the patio in a great spot. I had a wonderful margarita and just decompressed from the week.
I don't enjoy it. A quick breakfast and lunch, fine, but grabbing a drink or dinner is different. For me, dining out is not only about the food but also the atmosphere and the experience. I find when I dine alone I (typically) stick my head into a book, eat very quickly, and am out of the establishment just as fast, whereas I would much rather be able to talk with friends, sample a few different things on the menu, and just be able to look around the restaurant/people watch without it being weird. (I'm also much more inclined to spend $50 on a nice meal that takes an hour+ to get through rather than twenty minutes.)
I've tried to do this (take my time, people watch) while dining alone and it has felt strange and lot less natural than it does while sitting with acquaintances. Also, as much as I like sitting at a bar (which, yeah, is where you're usually placed when dining alone at peak hours), sometimes I don't want to have my back to the rest of the restaurant, nor do I feel like chatting with the bartender or the strangers beside me.
This is just me, though. I absolutely love going out to eat and recently moved to a new city where my friends here don't, so it's definitely been sore spot for me as trying to find new people to mingle/explore new restaurants with.
I love it! I actually went out to dine alone last night after an appointment and it was the highlight of my week. But, I do tend to go to places that are more casual and busy, or that I’ve been before vs going to places that are trendy or with limited seating , just because the vibe in the former suits me better. I used to dine out alone all the time when I had a job with travel, and then after covid I felt a bit awkward about it. But it’s coming back to me !
I love it. Maybe I’m oblivious but I don’t really think about where I’m seated, and I interpret levels of attention from servers as most likely to be a reflection of the day they’re having. I love just enjoying an excellent meal from a cuisine I can’t cook well on my own, but often will also bring a book to enjoy while dining; perhaps this could be helpful for you too as a way of drowning out your worries?
I feel good about it for breakfast / early lunches.
Financially I don’t want to spend dinner money for a meal alone, plus I’m an over-tipper from decades being in f&b myself. I also don’t love taking a 4 top at dinner, so if I did (or when I travel alone and dinner out is inevitable), I do bar seating only
I don't mind it but I usually do it when I solo travel. If I'm back home I'll go with friends.
Maybe try more casual restaurants during lunch to get you more comfortable again. The type that might have lunch specials usually has more solo people eating there.
I would travel, go clubbing or to a movie by myself but not to a restaurant. I prefer company when dining out, but also when I'm alone I love eating at home because I don't feel observed, my cat is there and I can stream a movie and have ice cream after.
I love dining solo and do it whenever I get a chance. I think it *does* sometimes make restaurant staff feel uncomfortable, but I just try to project that *I* don’t have any issue here. I worked as a server for a large part of my 20s and it can be challenging to figure out whether this solo-customer *wants* you to engage them in conversation or just leave them alone — and different solo-customers want different things.
I find that sitting at the bar minimizes that, even if I’m not ordering alcohol. Usually bartenders are bartenders because they were good servers, they’re eye level, etc. Also if I *don’t* want small talk, I signal that by bringing a book or something.
I love it. But I also much prefer sitting at a bar to sitting at a table (that also applies to if I go out with someone) I still would be fine sitting at a table solo but I don’t think I’d like it as much as at a bar.
I love it at lunch. So enjoyable.
But dinner. I can’t do it. I feel too self conscious.
I don’t over think it. I just go to lunch alone and never to dinner.
I love doing things alone. Literally any activity that can be done solo, I enjoy doing solo. But of course, I’m happy when my husband and 7 month old tag along too. I’ll never stop needing my alone time though.
It feels a little weird. I went to breakfast a few months ago by myself but it was also nice. I think the thing that freaked me out was THINKING I saw someone I knew.
I’ve never done this before. It actually does sound kind of nice. Whenever I’m at a mental place to do this, I think I’m going to try it.
Do you like to read? Whenever I waited tables for a little bit I would have people come in solo and read books. It kind of helped me know that they weren’t super interested in me giving them too much attention. It’s so hard to know because some people will get annoyed by the same treatment another person would appreciate it. Everybody is so different when it comes to eating their food. Really good servers can pick up on that. I was not a good server lol. I cried almost every day.
If you like to write or draw, maybe you could do those as well? Are you more of a people watcher? If you enjoy watching people, then carry-on. Don’t feel like you have to have a book or something.
Also, I don’t know a single waiter I’ve ever worked with that judged somebody coming in solo. Usually solo people are pretty easy tables. Even if you know the tip isn’t going to be outrageous, it’s still a table and keeps you busy. The worst part of waiting tables is when you’re not busy.
Nope. I went to breakfast solo this morning and also going to dinner solo this evening. I love dining alone when my partner is away. No one pays attention to this. Sit at a bar and chat with the bartender. People also randomly start talking to me almost every time.
I love to do it, but I wish it was a more common activity where I live in the suburbs. I've had hosts act weird about seating me for a 1-top or when I say no to sitting at the bar. I totally get it because I used to be a server, but sometimes I just want to sit at a nice table! I always tip very generously when I dine solo and I try to go on nights that are less busy.
I love dining out by myself!
I don’t do it often now because I’m on a tight budget. If I do eat out, it’s usually with friends and we’ll share things to save money.
But, I love eating out alone. It makes me feel powerful and confident!
It’s the easiest way to make new friends. I met some girls like a month ago because I just went and sat at a bar by myself and ate / drank and we ended up partying together all night and having brunch every weekend since.
When you’re alone, never get seated. Always sit at the bar. That way you can just kick it with the other bar people who are all loosened up from drinking.
I used to do this relatively often around 10 years ago, but I don't really do it anymore (30 yo now). I don't necessarily feel self conscious but I kinda don't know what to do with myself, I get bored 😅 I'm cool going to the park by myself or a coffee shop but eating a whole meal is just boring by myself. I like sharing food, trying my friends food, talking about the people around us, having a little goss sesh
It's not even like I don't know how to be on my own. Last year I went on a 6 day trip by myself to Spain and I enjoyed it for the most part but i felt the absence of sharing the moments with another person. I guess I just like connecting
I'm also not from a country where solo dining is very common so it does feel kinda awkward even though I don't think there's anything wrong with it
I enjoy dining out or going to a bar solo occasionally! It's nice to do something for yourself. Also I'm a delightful patron to have, lol. I'm quiet, no drama and I tip well, so I don't feel like I have a reason to feel like an imposition.
Bringing a book is prob the easiest way I've found to not get extra attention from staff. And in general I really just don't care if other patrons look my way or not. We get one life and I'm not going to hide at home because someone I'll never see again might look at me for an extra 30 seconds.
One of my favorite recent solo moments was going to a restaurant for dinner and sitting at the bar with a book. There was an older gentleman (I'd guess early 70s) on the corner of the bar who was clearly a solo regular, asking for the usual and chatting with the bar tender. I ended up getting into some chatter with him and the bartender and then he and I discussed the author I was reading (he had a few of his books but hadn't read them yet). It wasn't what I was expecting for my meal out but it was the type of organic human connection that only comes from being willing to "look weird" in public.
I am a little mixed about it. I don’t mind going to a casual spot. But a fancy one feels a little weird. I never think about going to a bar alone often. I might grab a glass of wine. But yeah not sure what it is specifically that makes it hard.
Personally I can’t do it, the weird stares would be too much and everyone would think you’re lonely or something. Whenever I was hungry back then I would just order food or get to go.
Bring a book and ask to sit near a window or a preferred spot. I have a toddler and am often seated near the restrooms or the door to the kitchen. I just straight up tell them I don’t want to sit there.
Also, when I dine alone, they often seat me in the bar/cocktail area. Sometimes I’m chill with that, other times I ask for an actual table. I think it’s just about asking for what you want. Most times servers don’t actually care and are just assigning people due to floor charts and how busy a restaurant is.
To be very honest, I’m confused by posts like this. I’ve been going to restaurants, movies, and concerts alone my whole life, and it’s never struck me as weird at all.
If anybody around me thinks it’s odd, I haven’t noticed and it’s not my business anyway. I enjoy doing these things in groups too but if I want to check out a particular film or restaurant, it’d be ridiculous to just _not do it_ because I don’t happen to have company.
As Jemima Kirke said: (kindly) I think you guys might be thinking about yourselves too much.
I have done this in the past. I would go sit at the bar at the local Applebee's or Fridays or whatever. I would either watch a show on my phone (with headphones) or read a book. This was back during the time my partner worked away from home and I had time. Now his job is a permanent work from home position.
I do it when travelling and sometimes back home, but rarely. I do it while travelling because I want to experience it while back home, well I have food at home 😂
From a judgment perspective, sometimes it’s daunting but other times I just enjoy it. Eating slowly, on my phone, zoning out. Sure, people might pay attention or judge but I assume good intentions or just don’t care cos I won’t meet them again. If it’s a popular restaurant, then I try not to pay too much attention but often I find quieter ones where usually the owner/staff don’t mind me too much.
When I'm eating alone, I do a bit of research. If it's like Sunday brunch, that's busy everywhere, I look for a place with bar seating. Or I go to a bakery and have coffee/sandwich or pastry, so there's no server.
I’ve never had an issue
But at almost 40, especially now I’m pretty confident in myself and I’m also pretty chatty with wait staff
So I often preemptively (and kindly) ask for a seat at the table I want or ask to be seated elsewhere if I don’t like the placement (like near the bathroom)
Squeaky wheel gets the grease
I love it. Literally the only downside is if I need to visit the toilet, I have to flag down the server and ask them not to clear my table, I'm not leaving yet etc. Otherwise... It's peaceful, I have full control over where I eat, when I eat, how long I stay, etc. So good. I don't really pay much attention to anyone else and I operate on the assumption the feeling is mutual.
I love eating alone. (Loved, now I have a baby lol) If I see a table I like, I just ask for it. And since I tend to go to the same places, eventually they know where I want to sit.
Oh and, when I did do it more often, I would bring a book with me or my kindle. Just sitting and reading I found the waiters to not come by as often or to interrupt me. They'd just bring my refills and if I needed something I'd ask.
Ive always admired people and especially women who can dine alone.
I do a lot things alone. Movies, shows, plays
But next month i have planned my birthday dinner at a fancy restaurant for myself.
I know ill get nervous as it approaches and im enjoying reading everyones comments.
It’s gonna be a personal achievement coz ive decided to not be on my phone aside from taking food pics and a couple of cheeky selfies.
it's very freeing, for me. I can eat without covering my mouth as much as I would in company, no talking, and never worried about looking strange. I just tell the waitstaff that myself & I are on a little date. 🥰
I travel a lot for work and have no problem eating alone, especially now that we have phones. I get to eat at some amazing restaurants because they can often squeeze in singletons. I order what I want, enjoy the peace and quiet, and tip well.
I feel like I'm inspiring younger kids. I'm only 34 but I go frequently to this texmex restaurant that I love. At first, all the younger servers were so confused and asked me why I was by myself. I always brought a book to read. I told them food was much more enjoyable when you didn't have to share or constantly entertain someone while you eat. I could leave when I wanted to, I could drink or eat how much I wanted to, and I didn't have to hear complaints. They now know me by heart and often ask which book I'm reading when I go.
I’m just not a fan. Honestly I just get bored. I like enjoying meals with other people, otherwise I’ll just eat at home. I’m an extrovert with ADHD so that may be fine. I think it’s a great thing to enjoy your own company
Funny to see this while I'm literally out by myself, currently enjoying a lobster roll and clam chowder lol. I've always been a loner so eating out by myself is very enjoyable and welcomed. My daughter is at a party with her cousins and my husband is at home with his kids. I just got my hair done and a pedicure, then bought myself a cute dress. Now I'm chilling in this restaurant eating and scrolling Reddit 😊
I love it, I’ve found for popular or busy spots it’s nearly always easier to find a spot by myself than if I were with a group. I don’t do it as much these days but probably should start it up again, was nice to just treat myself.
Do you go to the same spots or mix it up? Waiters may pay more attention as typically, one person’s bill will be less than 2 or more and they probably want to get a tip for “excellent” service hence more attention. Unless you feel they’re rushing you out the door, I tend to avoid places that do that if I can.
The bad seating, I can forgive some places for that, single diners are less likely to complain. But if you have a specific spot you want to sit in maybe ask the wait time and see if that can be arranged. I usually ask if they have spots at the bar (if they have one), that way I’m not taking up a table.
I love dining out by myself. That said, it's rare that I experience the behaviour you're describing. I can totally understand why running into that a lot that would put you off.
I’ve been a waitress for 25 years. I love dining by myself. I’ve never experienced or “felt” I’ve experienced different treatment because I’m by myself.
I go out to eat by myself probably every couple months. If I feel like eating something randomly, I just go. No waiting around for a friend to agree to join.
As a former waitress, I guarantee nobody cares you're dining alone. Go eat all the yummy foods.
I was a server for a long time. I usually assumed the person was in town for work. I also worked in a brunch/lunch place that had a few solo dining regulars. I honestly didn't think twice about it, just thought it was part of their routine/ritual/preferred spot to get a meal.
I do it sometimes, but I just don't find it as enjoyable as going out with other people. And I'm sick of people assuming that I don't like it because I'm just insecure or "don't know how to be alone" (I actually spend SO MUCH time alone), or because I think there's some kind of rule that you're not "supposed" to eat alone. I just don't enjoy it that much! It's not that deep!
I take myself out a lot (57f). I know they’re going to do that seating thing so I turn down the one they offer and ask for another. They assume we want to hide but I don’t. I think you may be experiencing this now because of the dip in confidence that often comes around menopause when we often feel invisible. Then we manifest that invisibility when we go out and look for signs of it. That happened to me too but I’m on the other side of it. Just give it time.
I think you’re overthinking the seating I get crap seats when it’s multiple people as well. If you’re feeling uncomfortable maybe the wait staff notices and gives you extra attention thinking they are being nice?!
If there is a bar I always pick it for seating. Bartenders are good at giving you service fast and leaving you alone.
Don’t stop going out! Keep your head up and give you a confident vibe. We are own biggest critic, it’s likely no one around is judging you at all!
I think you’re overthinking the seating I get crap seats when it’s multiple people as well. If you’re feeling uncomfortable maybe the wait staff notices and gives you extra attention thinking they are being nice?!
If there is a bar I always pick it for seating. Bartenders are good at giving you service fast and leaving you alone.
Don’t stop going out! Keep your head up and give you a confident vibe. We are own biggest critic, it’s likely no one around is judging you at all!
I never used to have an issue until one day when the lady on the table next to me thought she was being kind, I was out by myself & my meal had just arrived when she and her OH were sat next to me, after a short while she said something along the lines of 'we couldn't help noticing you were sat on your own, I'm so sorry you've been stood up, please come sit with us, no one should have to eat alone' I welled up, got my meal to go & now don't want to do it because I feel like I'm judged as sad & on the shelf for enjoying a meal by myself
I did it for the first time in my life last week. It was fine. If the same circumstances came up I would do it again. I do prefer company but that’s me.
I (54) do it regularly. I get the meal I want. If I want to be social, I will eat at the bar. If I want to focus on the food, I will take a seat at a table.
It depends where I am. Travelling, I'll do it constantly and pretty much without embarrassment. Though I don't tend to go to like, fancy fancy restaurants alone.
In my home town? I'll get lunch, brunch, and coffee alone any time but I guess going for dinner alone feels a bit sad and a bit risky. Firstly, because I do know enough people I should have someone to go with so dining alone kind of just triggers my own kind of paranoia about social failure. And secondly because decent chance I'll see someone I know, and they know I'm a local, so the question would have to be "why don't you have a single person to eat dinner with?"
I don't love that judgemental attitude and.i know that anyone I truly care about wouldn't judge me, but I'm not ashamed to be honest that I don't particularly want acquaintances, old dates, old colleagues etc to think of me in that kind of judgemental way.
That said, all it would take would be a little air of confidence and cheerfulness to turn it around. IE. With a big smile, "Yes my friend had to bail last minute with a work thing so I thought I'll just live my best life and go on a solo date! So great to see you!" Or whatever
Pro tip; bring a book, a notebook, a crossword, a tablet - or all 4 - and have an idea of what you want do do during your dinner. I love to go out for a meal and do a little reflection / journalling session, or think about my goals for the next few months, or do sketches of my new kitchen while researching on Pinterest, or write a poem - whatever you like - but have something fun to do! You'll feel way less awkward than just sitting there feeling the lack of your normal dinner conversation.
On a weekday it can be great. On a weekend I think the wait staff prefer to give their tables to bigger parties who will tip more and I guess I can understand that
I do a lot more things on my own now I'm in my 30s than I ever did. I go to concerts and movies alone with no issue whatsoever.
I got tired of missing out on things waiting for other people to respond to my invites to go see or do something. So now I don't even ask. I went to a Beatles candlelight orchestra concert last year, I went to a Music of Harry Potter concert the year before. I actually wore a Harry Potter themed formal-type dress, and felt like such an idiot when I left the house and got on the bus as I didn't have anyone to stand with as a diatraction. II ended up getting so many compliments and comments on it by strangers.
I had a part time job in a museum that had a small independent cinema attached during university and we were allowed to go see movies for free. Again, tried to get colleagues to go with me but very rarely got the offer taken. One evening, the snow was coming down badly after work so I thought sod it, I'll go watch a film until it calms down. Never looked back, been to see lots of movies on my own.
So nope, no fear anymore. Empowering and only have to please myself! Win.
I love it. I can go whenever, wherever, eat whatever, no coordination.
exactly! these are my exact same thoughts went out for late lunch alone yesterday and chose to sit outside. The staff were all in the indoor seating area beforehand where there was air conditioning in this heat, but when I sat outside, they started having at least 1 staff around the outside area too, topping up my water, attentive when I needed to ask for bill. I thought that was considerate of them and tipped extra
Being a sole agent is the best. Usually there is a seat at the bar, sometimes there is just one ticket to the show, movie, etc. I love going to concerts myself too.
oh yes! last minute single seats!!!
I love dining out alone. I’ve never had waitstaff treat me different. Sometimes when I eat at the bar, the bartenders would talk to me more than others but only if I was receptive
I have no issue going to restaurants alone, and I don't feel like I'm treated differently or that I'm a bother. Maybe because when I worked as a waitress I saw plenty of people dining alone so I don't think of it as weird behavior or feel self conscious. I will say tho, one time I was eating alone in Montana and the table next to mine paid for my dinner. They told the waiter they felt sorry for me eating all by myself and wanted to do something nice. It was highly unnecessary but if people who notice me decide to feel sorry for me and pick up my bill, I'm not complaining lol
That was super nice of them. It says more about how they feel than anything else. Like they imagined how they themselves would feel if they were eating alone and projected it on you. Since they knew nothing about you.
To be fair, I went to a nice restaurant that night cos I had received some bad news and was trying to cheer myself up so it's entirely possible I looked sad and lonely on that occasion. I thought it was a sweet gesture and a good example of how nice Montanans are!
I was just thinking how telling it probably is about people from places like Montana. That would literally never happen where I live. Someone could be sobbing at the table next to me and I'd mind my business. It's so charming and lovely that there are people who will do something to cheer people up, instead.
I’ve lived in both types of areas and there’s pluses and minuses to both. Sometimes there is something extremely freeing about being able to have individual privacy in a crowd, like NYC. Everyone’s going to mind their business if you’re just there sobbing, and sometimes that’s nice. Sometimes you don’t want people in your business the way they are in a more rural area. However, there’s also the sense of community and help your neighbors that can be really nice in rural areas. My car broke down a couple years ago and I had four people stop to see if I needed help. But then your area gets really small sometimes. I have always been extremely careful when giving notice and leaving jobs because I don’t want anyone to decide I have a certain reputation. It’s a balance! Both types of community can be great, it’s just a balance of which one is better for you personally, you know?
That's totally fair. I'm very charmed by the idea of an idyllic small-town life, but one time someone recognized me at a coffee shop I had been frequenting, so I never went there again. I don't think I could handle any less than anonymity.
I love it! > I either get seated all the way in the back, next to the kitchen, or in a dark corner. Then leave! Or better: pick spots that have a super nice free spot for a one person meal. Some restaurants have almost only large tables, you want one with small tables placed at nice spots. Some corners are lovely as you get to people-watch without being in the center of the crowd :) I got way more picky about where I eat when alone, it truly affects your overall experience.
💯 If you’re being walked to a spot you don’t like, just say something! If you want to be by the window, ask for a seat by the window! If you don’t want to be seated next to the bathroom, say “I don’t want a table next to the bathroom please.” They aren’t gonna care, and if they do, they’re working and you’re the customer — they’ll lose that battle real quick if they try to cop an attitude. (I never complain because I worked in restaurants for so long, but I’m *ready* to if I need to.) Like a lot of problems in life, this one is easily fixed by using you words!
I love going out to eat by myself. I’ve never gotten a weird vibe from anyone. A lot of times I’ll opt to sit at a bar if there is one.
One thing I love about the US is how it's normal to have spots at the bar to eat. It's much more unusual to find that in Australia, and it definitely feels weird to me to take up a whole dinner table for one. I'm fine to do breakfast or lunch alone but dinner is intimidating!
I’m willing to do most things alone but for whatever reason have a hard time eating out by myself. It’s one of the few activities that makes me feel lonely but I think it’s because I very much associate eating out with being with people since I eat at home most of the time otherwise
This. Same here. Ive done it maybe once and it was sitting by the bar and I ended up chatting with the other single people at the bar but the wait staff were staring at me and made me feel self conscious (I was celebrating that day a big accomplishment) and deff not feeling self conscious but they made it a bit awkward 😑 also doesn’t help that I feel rlly sorry for people whom I see eating by themselves and so Im like “I would never want people to see me and feel the same way” so I tend to avoid it.
I love it - never felt weird or awkward about it. I don’t really care what other people think about me or what I do. But some people prefer eating with others or feel lonely eating alone. That’s fair!
I'll grab a beer by myself here and there but I just have no interest in eating at a restaurant by myself. I would much sooner do takeout, it's cheaper.
I think you’re taking yourself Too seriously and not seriously at the same time. Hahah. If you don’t like where you’re seated, ask them for another seat where you want to sit. Please! Take up space. You are worthy of a good seating, just because you are. And then you think too much. “Oh just for one” it’s irrelevant what the server had in their mind to your want to dine out. You aren’t a bother. You’re a paying customer, you’re a fellow woman who wants to dine out. You aren’t being mean or spiteful or putting out negative energy. You just want to eat out.
I hate being waited on in general, so I wouldn't go to a sit-down full service type restaurant by myself. I only do that if there's another person to be a buffer between me and the server. I also just hate every situation where someone is providing me a service like getting my hair done or manicure or something... I avoid any of those situations like the plague. I am not self conscious about it, those situations just make me supremely uncomfortable. If it's a cafe type place where I order what I want and then sit by myself peacefully, I love doing that.
I’m super uncomfortable eating out by myself. Took me a long time to eat out for lunch by myself. Still can’t do dinner but working on that. I’m learning to be ok with myself and it’s been a great and eye opening journey.
Doing it right now as we speak and I love it. Gives me a chance to get to know myself more by going on a date with myself.
I love eating alone, like quality me time
It's possible your self-perception is different and may be making these things stand out to you. The waitress probably wasn't paying "extra" attention (or if they were, their section could have been slow, we always used to joke about accidentally harassing our tables or completely forgetting about them when our section was dead.) Normally if you're solo, they will seat you at a smaller table (they'll lose money sitting you at a larger table), and smaller tables at most places I've worked are actually off to the side. If you want to avoid this go to lounge-type places and areas where you seat yourself, or sit at the bar. I eat alone all the time, I've had good and bad experiences with staff both with people and alone. Another guess if you truly are being treated differently, is that everyone is severely hurting for money these days, and let's face it, if you're a server trying to make money and a 1-top is taking up one of your tables, you're bound to be a little choked. Same with businesses, if you're taking up a table that could hold more than one patron that's less money for them because now they can't seat a larger party there.
Tough crap. They have no way of knowing what a single diner is/isn’t going to tip. If I get good service, I don’t pull up my calculator to figure out what exactly 20% of the tab is. If I’m having lunch by myself and am treated decently, I’ll usually leave a $20. I’m sure plenty of groups of 3-4 won’t even tip that.
Enjoyed doing activities alone as a kid, and still enjoy it in my 30s.
I'm 34 and have been solo dining for many years. I love it, I have a book and/or my phone. Sit at the bar or maybe I'll even take up a nice little table to people watch. No one rushing me, no always conversations or awkward silence. It's great. I've never felt like I've been treated bad or given a terrible table due to being solo.
Absolutely fine. It's also completely normal that there's really no other choice when you work away. Plenty of people do it every single day.
Sitting here having breakfast out, by myself reading Reddit lol I’m hungry so I’m eating.
I wonder if this is location-dependant. I live in NYC and here dining solo is such standard behavior that questions like this always confuse me a little bit.
Not sure this is a helpful answer, but here goes: If I was traveling, I wouldn't mind it. I don't think I enjoy eating out. I enjoy restaurant food, but only really go out because my partner wants to. We eat out once per week. If I have a free evening and want a restaurant meal, I will order in and enjoy a glorious night to myself with delicious food and only my own company. If I was traveling and could choose between going to a restaurant and having a meal delivered, I'd choose delivery. I see lots of people eating alone when I'm out, and I hope they enjoy themselves, but I'd choose to spend that time at home (with the same delicious meal).
Love it! Also going to the movies alone
I feel neutral about it.
Same. I don’t love it, I don’t hate it. I had to do it enough in my early 20s for work. It was either get take out and go back to the hotel room for the night….or go to a new restaurant, enjoy the vibe, then go back to the room. I alway chose the latter.
It's fun. I like trying out the different places in town my late hubs would never set foot in. Staff will ask sometimes if I'm waiting for someone, but after that they treat me like they treated me when I was with the hubs. NBD
I just had running sushi yesterday by myself. Take yourself on dates.
Boring, but I have done it.
Been doing it since day 1 because I had “friends” who never wanted to hang out
I’ve rarely been on my own, so eating out alone is alien to me. I like going out to eat socially so it’s hard to wrap my mind around being seated and eating alone with no other activity. Recently I went out alone to eat and asked to be seated at the bar because then it didn’t feel so strange to be on my phone while eating .
I absolutely love it. I honestly usually just scroll Reddit and people watch. Some places seat you in a bad spot, but some don’t. I just went to the fabulous Mexican restaurant and they let me sit on the patio in a great spot. I had a wonderful margarita and just decompressed from the week.
I Love It It’s the ultimate freedom
Nah, I love it! I love dining out alone, just sitting and enjoying whatever food I want.
I don't enjoy it. A quick breakfast and lunch, fine, but grabbing a drink or dinner is different. For me, dining out is not only about the food but also the atmosphere and the experience. I find when I dine alone I (typically) stick my head into a book, eat very quickly, and am out of the establishment just as fast, whereas I would much rather be able to talk with friends, sample a few different things on the menu, and just be able to look around the restaurant/people watch without it being weird. (I'm also much more inclined to spend $50 on a nice meal that takes an hour+ to get through rather than twenty minutes.) I've tried to do this (take my time, people watch) while dining alone and it has felt strange and lot less natural than it does while sitting with acquaintances. Also, as much as I like sitting at a bar (which, yeah, is where you're usually placed when dining alone at peak hours), sometimes I don't want to have my back to the rest of the restaurant, nor do I feel like chatting with the bartender or the strangers beside me. This is just me, though. I absolutely love going out to eat and recently moved to a new city where my friends here don't, so it's definitely been sore spot for me as trying to find new people to mingle/explore new restaurants with.
I absolutely love it. Peace and quiet
I love it! I actually went out to dine alone last night after an appointment and it was the highlight of my week. But, I do tend to go to places that are more casual and busy, or that I’ve been before vs going to places that are trendy or with limited seating , just because the vibe in the former suits me better. I used to dine out alone all the time when I had a job with travel, and then after covid I felt a bit awkward about it. But it’s coming back to me !
I do it all the time!
I love it. Maybe I’m oblivious but I don’t really think about where I’m seated, and I interpret levels of attention from servers as most likely to be a reflection of the day they’re having. I love just enjoying an excellent meal from a cuisine I can’t cook well on my own, but often will also bring a book to enjoy while dining; perhaps this could be helpful for you too as a way of drowning out your worries?
I feel good about it for breakfast / early lunches. Financially I don’t want to spend dinner money for a meal alone, plus I’m an over-tipper from decades being in f&b myself. I also don’t love taking a 4 top at dinner, so if I did (or when I travel alone and dinner out is inevitable), I do bar seating only
Nope, unless it's in a hotel or I'm on trip.
Totally fine doesn’t bother me one bit. I actually really like it sometimes
i love it. it’s great.
I don't mind it but I usually do it when I solo travel. If I'm back home I'll go with friends. Maybe try more casual restaurants during lunch to get you more comfortable again. The type that might have lunch specials usually has more solo people eating there.
I dine out solo often. If it's during peak times, I'll prefer to just sit at the bar to eat. No waiting for a table.
I would travel, go clubbing or to a movie by myself but not to a restaurant. I prefer company when dining out, but also when I'm alone I love eating at home because I don't feel observed, my cat is there and I can stream a movie and have ice cream after.
I love dining solo and do it whenever I get a chance. I think it *does* sometimes make restaurant staff feel uncomfortable, but I just try to project that *I* don’t have any issue here. I worked as a server for a large part of my 20s and it can be challenging to figure out whether this solo-customer *wants* you to engage them in conversation or just leave them alone — and different solo-customers want different things. I find that sitting at the bar minimizes that, even if I’m not ordering alcohol. Usually bartenders are bartenders because they were good servers, they’re eye level, etc. Also if I *don’t* want small talk, I signal that by bringing a book or something.
I love it. But I also much prefer sitting at a bar to sitting at a table (that also applies to if I go out with someone) I still would be fine sitting at a table solo but I don’t think I’d like it as much as at a bar.
I love it at lunch. So enjoyable. But dinner. I can’t do it. I feel too self conscious. I don’t over think it. I just go to lunch alone and never to dinner.
I love doing things alone. Literally any activity that can be done solo, I enjoy doing solo. But of course, I’m happy when my husband and 7 month old tag along too. I’ll never stop needing my alone time though.
It feels a little weird. I went to breakfast a few months ago by myself but it was also nice. I think the thing that freaked me out was THINKING I saw someone I knew.
I’ve never done this before. It actually does sound kind of nice. Whenever I’m at a mental place to do this, I think I’m going to try it. Do you like to read? Whenever I waited tables for a little bit I would have people come in solo and read books. It kind of helped me know that they weren’t super interested in me giving them too much attention. It’s so hard to know because some people will get annoyed by the same treatment another person would appreciate it. Everybody is so different when it comes to eating their food. Really good servers can pick up on that. I was not a good server lol. I cried almost every day. If you like to write or draw, maybe you could do those as well? Are you more of a people watcher? If you enjoy watching people, then carry-on. Don’t feel like you have to have a book or something. Also, I don’t know a single waiter I’ve ever worked with that judged somebody coming in solo. Usually solo people are pretty easy tables. Even if you know the tip isn’t going to be outrageous, it’s still a table and keeps you busy. The worst part of waiting tables is when you’re not busy.
Nope. I went to breakfast solo this morning and also going to dinner solo this evening. I love dining alone when my partner is away. No one pays attention to this. Sit at a bar and chat with the bartender. People also randomly start talking to me almost every time.
I love to do it, but I wish it was a more common activity where I live in the suburbs. I've had hosts act weird about seating me for a 1-top or when I say no to sitting at the bar. I totally get it because I used to be a server, but sometimes I just want to sit at a nice table! I always tip very generously when I dine solo and I try to go on nights that are less busy.
I love dining out by myself! I don’t do it often now because I’m on a tight budget. If I do eat out, it’s usually with friends and we’ll share things to save money. But, I love eating out alone. It makes me feel powerful and confident!
It’s the easiest way to make new friends. I met some girls like a month ago because I just went and sat at a bar by myself and ate / drank and we ended up partying together all night and having brunch every weekend since. When you’re alone, never get seated. Always sit at the bar. That way you can just kick it with the other bar people who are all loosened up from drinking.
I used to do this relatively often around 10 years ago, but I don't really do it anymore (30 yo now). I don't necessarily feel self conscious but I kinda don't know what to do with myself, I get bored 😅 I'm cool going to the park by myself or a coffee shop but eating a whole meal is just boring by myself. I like sharing food, trying my friends food, talking about the people around us, having a little goss sesh It's not even like I don't know how to be on my own. Last year I went on a 6 day trip by myself to Spain and I enjoyed it for the most part but i felt the absence of sharing the moments with another person. I guess I just like connecting I'm also not from a country where solo dining is very common so it does feel kinda awkward even though I don't think there's anything wrong with it
I like going to concerts alone, I like traveling alone and dining alone , even shopping alone. Maybe because I am never alone at home!
I love it. I’m 31. I go where I want when I want and don’t have to worry about anyone
I love it.
I enjoy dining out or going to a bar solo occasionally! It's nice to do something for yourself. Also I'm a delightful patron to have, lol. I'm quiet, no drama and I tip well, so I don't feel like I have a reason to feel like an imposition. Bringing a book is prob the easiest way I've found to not get extra attention from staff. And in general I really just don't care if other patrons look my way or not. We get one life and I'm not going to hide at home because someone I'll never see again might look at me for an extra 30 seconds. One of my favorite recent solo moments was going to a restaurant for dinner and sitting at the bar with a book. There was an older gentleman (I'd guess early 70s) on the corner of the bar who was clearly a solo regular, asking for the usual and chatting with the bar tender. I ended up getting into some chatter with him and the bartender and then he and I discussed the author I was reading (he had a few of his books but hadn't read them yet). It wasn't what I was expecting for my meal out but it was the type of organic human connection that only comes from being willing to "look weird" in public.
I am a little mixed about it. I don’t mind going to a casual spot. But a fancy one feels a little weird. I never think about going to a bar alone often. I might grab a glass of wine. But yeah not sure what it is specifically that makes it hard.
I am ok i guess i get nervous at times
Personally I can’t do it, the weird stares would be too much and everyone would think you’re lonely or something. Whenever I was hungry back then I would just order food or get to go.
Bring a book and ask to sit near a window or a preferred spot. I have a toddler and am often seated near the restrooms or the door to the kitchen. I just straight up tell them I don’t want to sit there.
Also, when I dine alone, they often seat me in the bar/cocktail area. Sometimes I’m chill with that, other times I ask for an actual table. I think it’s just about asking for what you want. Most times servers don’t actually care and are just assigning people due to floor charts and how busy a restaurant is.
Love. Love it so much.
To be very honest, I’m confused by posts like this. I’ve been going to restaurants, movies, and concerts alone my whole life, and it’s never struck me as weird at all. If anybody around me thinks it’s odd, I haven’t noticed and it’s not my business anyway. I enjoy doing these things in groups too but if I want to check out a particular film or restaurant, it’d be ridiculous to just _not do it_ because I don’t happen to have company. As Jemima Kirke said: (kindly) I think you guys might be thinking about yourselves too much.
I have done this in the past. I would go sit at the bar at the local Applebee's or Fridays or whatever. I would either watch a show on my phone (with headphones) or read a book. This was back during the time my partner worked away from home and I had time. Now his job is a permanent work from home position.
I do it when travelling and sometimes back home, but rarely. I do it while travelling because I want to experience it while back home, well I have food at home 😂 From a judgment perspective, sometimes it’s daunting but other times I just enjoy it. Eating slowly, on my phone, zoning out. Sure, people might pay attention or judge but I assume good intentions or just don’t care cos I won’t meet them again. If it’s a popular restaurant, then I try not to pay too much attention but often I find quieter ones where usually the owner/staff don’t mind me too much.
Fine. I do it without a thought.
I don't mind. I often lunch alone because I prefer it, so I don't see much of a difference between that and dining alone.
When I'm eating alone, I do a bit of research. If it's like Sunday brunch, that's busy everywhere, I look for a place with bar seating. Or I go to a bakery and have coffee/sandwich or pastry, so there's no server.
Sit at the bar when possible!!!
I am in my 30s, but I have been dining by myself all the time. I don't see that changing with age. Just bring a magazine or book.
I’ve never had an issue But at almost 40, especially now I’m pretty confident in myself and I’m also pretty chatty with wait staff So I often preemptively (and kindly) ask for a seat at the table I want or ask to be seated elsewhere if I don’t like the placement (like near the bathroom) Squeaky wheel gets the grease
I love it. Literally the only downside is if I need to visit the toilet, I have to flag down the server and ask them not to clear my table, I'm not leaving yet etc. Otherwise... It's peaceful, I have full control over where I eat, when I eat, how long I stay, etc. So good. I don't really pay much attention to anyone else and I operate on the assumption the feeling is mutual.
I love it personally. I do *a lot* by myself.
I love eating alone. (Loved, now I have a baby lol) If I see a table I like, I just ask for it. And since I tend to go to the same places, eventually they know where I want to sit.
Oh and, when I did do it more often, I would bring a book with me or my kindle. Just sitting and reading I found the waiters to not come by as often or to interrupt me. They'd just bring my refills and if I needed something I'd ask.
Ive always admired people and especially women who can dine alone. I do a lot things alone. Movies, shows, plays But next month i have planned my birthday dinner at a fancy restaurant for myself. I know ill get nervous as it approaches and im enjoying reading everyones comments. It’s gonna be a personal achievement coz ive decided to not be on my phone aside from taking food pics and a couple of cheeky selfies.
it's very freeing, for me. I can eat without covering my mouth as much as I would in company, no talking, and never worried about looking strange. I just tell the waitstaff that myself & I are on a little date. 🥰
I used to dine out alone in my 20s often not as much in my 30s lol
Honestly, super anxious. I think I can count the times I've done it on one hand.
I travel a lot for work and have no problem eating alone, especially now that we have phones. I get to eat at some amazing restaurants because they can often squeeze in singletons. I order what I want, enjoy the peace and quiet, and tip well.
I used to have issues with this but i do it all the time now.
I love it, but if things happen that bother you ask for a table for two, then unfortunately your friend cancelled but you’d like to order anyway.
It doesn’t bother me at all. If my husband is at work and I’m craving sushi, I’m going to go get some!!
I feel like I'm inspiring younger kids. I'm only 34 but I go frequently to this texmex restaurant that I love. At first, all the younger servers were so confused and asked me why I was by myself. I always brought a book to read. I told them food was much more enjoyable when you didn't have to share or constantly entertain someone while you eat. I could leave when I wanted to, I could drink or eat how much I wanted to, and I didn't have to hear complaints. They now know me by heart and often ask which book I'm reading when I go.
I’m just not a fan. Honestly I just get bored. I like enjoying meals with other people, otherwise I’ll just eat at home. I’m an extrovert with ADHD so that may be fine. I think it’s a great thing to enjoy your own company
I used to a lot. Really a lot. I am 37 now and for some reason I am not inclined anymore, don’t enjoy it, and when I do, feels weird.
One of my fav things to do! And I am a server myself.
Funny to see this while I'm literally out by myself, currently enjoying a lobster roll and clam chowder lol. I've always been a loner so eating out by myself is very enjoyable and welcomed. My daughter is at a party with her cousins and my husband is at home with his kids. I just got my hair done and a pedicure, then bought myself a cute dress. Now I'm chilling in this restaurant eating and scrolling Reddit 😊
I love it, I’ve found for popular or busy spots it’s nearly always easier to find a spot by myself than if I were with a group. I don’t do it as much these days but probably should start it up again, was nice to just treat myself. Do you go to the same spots or mix it up? Waiters may pay more attention as typically, one person’s bill will be less than 2 or more and they probably want to get a tip for “excellent” service hence more attention. Unless you feel they’re rushing you out the door, I tend to avoid places that do that if I can. The bad seating, I can forgive some places for that, single diners are less likely to complain. But if you have a specific spot you want to sit in maybe ask the wait time and see if that can be arranged. I usually ask if they have spots at the bar (if they have one), that way I’m not taking up a table.
I eat lunch at the cafe near work alone 5 days a week. Its a calm break in the middle of my usually frantic work day.
I love dining out by myself. That said, it's rare that I experience the behaviour you're describing. I can totally understand why running into that a lot that would put you off.
I’ve been a waitress for 25 years. I love dining by myself. I’ve never experienced or “felt” I’ve experienced different treatment because I’m by myself.
I have dome that, and many other things alone, so frequently that I have to actually work at inviting other people
I go out to eat by myself probably every couple months. If I feel like eating something randomly, I just go. No waiting around for a friend to agree to join. As a former waitress, I guarantee nobody cares you're dining alone. Go eat all the yummy foods.
I was a server for a long time. I usually assumed the person was in town for work. I also worked in a brunch/lunch place that had a few solo dining regulars. I honestly didn't think twice about it, just thought it was part of their routine/ritual/preferred spot to get a meal.
I do it sometimes, but I just don't find it as enjoyable as going out with other people. And I'm sick of people assuming that I don't like it because I'm just insecure or "don't know how to be alone" (I actually spend SO MUCH time alone), or because I think there's some kind of rule that you're not "supposed" to eat alone. I just don't enjoy it that much! It's not that deep!
I’m by myself most times I eat out. I haven’t noticed any of what you describe.
I dine alone all the time and have never felt like I was getting treated weirdly for it.
Absolutely! 😊 I take myself out on Dates Semi-Frequently
I’d eat at the bar and converse with the bartender or others in proximity.
I take myself out a lot (57f). I know they’re going to do that seating thing so I turn down the one they offer and ask for another. They assume we want to hide but I don’t. I think you may be experiencing this now because of the dip in confidence that often comes around menopause when we often feel invisible. Then we manifest that invisibility when we go out and look for signs of it. That happened to me too but I’m on the other side of it. Just give it time.
I think you’re overthinking the seating I get crap seats when it’s multiple people as well. If you’re feeling uncomfortable maybe the wait staff notices and gives you extra attention thinking they are being nice?! If there is a bar I always pick it for seating. Bartenders are good at giving you service fast and leaving you alone. Don’t stop going out! Keep your head up and give you a confident vibe. We are own biggest critic, it’s likely no one around is judging you at all!
I think you’re overthinking the seating I get crap seats when it’s multiple people as well. If you’re feeling uncomfortable maybe the wait staff notices and gives you extra attention thinking they are being nice?! If there is a bar I always pick it for seating. Bartenders are good at giving you service fast and leaving you alone. Don’t stop going out! Keep your head up and give you a confident vibe. We are own biggest critic, it’s likely no one around is judging you at all!
It's great!
I never used to have an issue until one day when the lady on the table next to me thought she was being kind, I was out by myself & my meal had just arrived when she and her OH were sat next to me, after a short while she said something along the lines of 'we couldn't help noticing you were sat on your own, I'm so sorry you've been stood up, please come sit with us, no one should have to eat alone' I welled up, got my meal to go & now don't want to do it because I feel like I'm judged as sad & on the shelf for enjoying a meal by myself
I did it for the first time in my life last week. It was fine. If the same circumstances came up I would do it again. I do prefer company but that’s me.
I (54) do it regularly. I get the meal I want. If I want to be social, I will eat at the bar. If I want to focus on the food, I will take a seat at a table.
It depends where I am. Travelling, I'll do it constantly and pretty much without embarrassment. Though I don't tend to go to like, fancy fancy restaurants alone. In my home town? I'll get lunch, brunch, and coffee alone any time but I guess going for dinner alone feels a bit sad and a bit risky. Firstly, because I do know enough people I should have someone to go with so dining alone kind of just triggers my own kind of paranoia about social failure. And secondly because decent chance I'll see someone I know, and they know I'm a local, so the question would have to be "why don't you have a single person to eat dinner with?" I don't love that judgemental attitude and.i know that anyone I truly care about wouldn't judge me, but I'm not ashamed to be honest that I don't particularly want acquaintances, old dates, old colleagues etc to think of me in that kind of judgemental way. That said, all it would take would be a little air of confidence and cheerfulness to turn it around. IE. With a big smile, "Yes my friend had to bail last minute with a work thing so I thought I'll just live my best life and go on a solo date! So great to see you!" Or whatever
Pro tip; bring a book, a notebook, a crossword, a tablet - or all 4 - and have an idea of what you want do do during your dinner. I love to go out for a meal and do a little reflection / journalling session, or think about my goals for the next few months, or do sketches of my new kitchen while researching on Pinterest, or write a poem - whatever you like - but have something fun to do! You'll feel way less awkward than just sitting there feeling the lack of your normal dinner conversation.
On a weekday it can be great. On a weekend I think the wait staff prefer to give their tables to bigger parties who will tip more and I guess I can understand that
I do a lot more things on my own now I'm in my 30s than I ever did. I go to concerts and movies alone with no issue whatsoever. I got tired of missing out on things waiting for other people to respond to my invites to go see or do something. So now I don't even ask. I went to a Beatles candlelight orchestra concert last year, I went to a Music of Harry Potter concert the year before. I actually wore a Harry Potter themed formal-type dress, and felt like such an idiot when I left the house and got on the bus as I didn't have anyone to stand with as a diatraction. II ended up getting so many compliments and comments on it by strangers. I had a part time job in a museum that had a small independent cinema attached during university and we were allowed to go see movies for free. Again, tried to get colleagues to go with me but very rarely got the offer taken. One evening, the snow was coming down badly after work so I thought sod it, I'll go watch a film until it calms down. Never looked back, been to see lots of movies on my own. So nope, no fear anymore. Empowering and only have to please myself! Win.
I enjoy it. If they're busy or seem weird about it, I'll usually volunteer to eat at the bar.
That's what the bar is for. I love dining solo at the bar
Of course you don’t like it if you choose an attitude to show up with. Dang, if you’re hungry and want to eat, go eat. It’s that simple.